Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 characters (and Lum and Ataru) belong to Takahashi-sama and whomever she sold the rights to. I'm not in this for money, I just write this stuff for fun.
Note: There is a bit of overlap from the main story in this side story. (Even if it's more Ranma's POV as opposed to Ukyo's POV.) It's there so that the side story stands better on its own.
-----
To Saotome Ranma, it was as if a miracle had happened. Life since the failed wedding attempt had settled down nicely. Ryoga had chosen Akari over Akane and hadn't been seen since. Ranma would admit he missed the fights though. Happosai had lost to Pantyhose Taro, or Chon Wang as he called himself now. "Chon" was in Hong Kong and, if the tabloid reports were true, Happosai was spending his time in Okinawa.
Kodachi had apparently given up on him. During the date that Akane had insisted they go on, Kodachi admitted that she knew that Ranma didn't love her. After the failed wedding, Kodachi had a long stay in the hospital before leaving Nerima, apparently for good. He didn't believe the rumors he'd heard about her, but was grateful for her absence anyway.
Ukyo had given up on marrying him too. It had taken a few months for their friendship to recover. It had recovered, but it wasn't the same as it had been. The old nicknames were gone, and so was the free okonomiyaki. It was half price for him and half price for Akane too. Ranma was much more comfortable with Ukyo as a friend than as a potential lover.
Kuno, well he almost felt sorry for Kuno. After all the broken bones had healed, he transferred to an inpatient drug rehab clinic. It was considered the best place to treat the withdrawal symptoms. Drying out from all the stuff Kodachi had fed him all those years nearly killed Kuno.
Then Ranma had received a letter from Kuno indicating that he had figured out that he and the pig-tailed girl were one and the same and asked for his forgiveness. Unknown to anyone, Ranma went to the clinic only to find that Kuno had been sent to a psych facility after a suicide attempt.
At the psych hospital, the doctors told Ranma that Kuno had been diagnosed with acute extreme depression and delusional psychosis. The delusional part was dropped after Ranma demonstrated his Jusenkyo curse. One of the doctors, forcibly introduced to magic by Ranma, wound up a patient in another facility. The other two were a little more accepting and altered their treatment plan to deal with the reality of the situation. Ranma wondered what a 'sane' Kuno would be like. Since there had been major reconstruction going on at the Kuno compound, he thought he might find out soon.
The only major problems he had left were the Chinese Amazons. Not even all of them were problems. Mousse admitted that he was outclassed after Jusendo. There was still the occasional attack, but Ranma thought Mousse was doing it mostly to keep in practice. Although Ranma didn't consider Mousse as good a sparring partner as Ryoga had been, he was slowly turning Mousse into a reasonable challenge.
Shampoo and Cologne though were another story. They had disappeared right after the wedding for almost four months. After their return, a strict avoidance policy was enacted. Shampoo was persona non grata at the Tendo Dojo. Nothing she brought would be consumed by Ranma or anyone else. Ranma had also been the recipient of a lucky break.
On her first attempt to bring her 'airen' lunch at school after returning, Shampoo lost an odango to Principal Kuno's shears. It was a freak occurrence since the educator was in bonbori induced unconsciousness at the time. The damage to Shampoo's vanity was enough to keep her off school grounds. (Although Ranma admitted, if only to himself, the close cropped hair she wore afterwards did look nice.)
This gave Ranma a lot of breathing room, but Shampoo and Cologne were still out there somewhere, up to something. Ranma, Akane and Ukyo kept a wary eye out for trouble. Their vigilance had paid off a couple of times already. Akane was also much quicker to forgive or believe Ranma when Shampoo did manage to put him in a compromising position.
Without a doubt, the best thing that had happened since the failed wedding was that his relationship with Akane had improved steadily. She'd had some sort of talk with Ryoga after the failed wedding. She had calmed down somewhat after that. With the other fiancees pretty much out of the picture, her jealousy had faded to a mere fraction of what it had been. What convinced Ranma that there was some real hope for his relationship with Akane was "The Deal".
"The Deal" was simple. Ranma would eat anything Akane made without arguing about it, if and only if Akane tasted it first. The beating he took when he proposed "The Deal" was well worth the pain he thought. He had been smart enough to listen to Kasumi's suggestion not to propose "The Deal" when Akane was actually trying to feed him something.
After a few months, Akane proposed her own deal for serious training. Ranma had been reluctant to accept at first. When Kyoung-ja Chyo showed up from Korea claiming to be Ranma's fiancee, the mass stupidity that followed was enough to convince Ranma to train Akane in particular and women in general. Ranma also managed to publicly admit his feelings for Akane. (When their fathers attempted to set up another wedding in response, it resulted in a severe thrashing. With the promise of more thrashings to come if they ever tried it again.)
Ranma discovered there were unexpected benefits to working with Akane. Ranma was learning how to be a sensei, which is different from being just a martial artist. Mr. Tendo had been surprisingly helpful with lessons on not just what to teach, but how to teach. As Ranma became a better teacher, Akane became a better martial artist, and a much calmer person overall. She wasn't up to Shampoo's level yet, but she was getting better. If only he could find something to boost her speed.
To Ranma, the real kicker came when Ukyo asked to start taking lessons in Anything Goes in order to keep up with Akane. Ukyo even insisted on paying for her lessons (but was willing to accept a 50% discount). At the time, Ranma thought that being a real instructor, with a real student was the second best thing to happen to him since being cursed.
Within two months, Ranma was teaching a dozen students in advanced Kempo/beginner's Anything Goes twice a week. (Including Akane and Ukyo.) Akane was teaching two twice a week classes and a longer Saturday class. The extra exercise she was getting was making her more beautiful than ever to Ranma's eyes.
Genma and Soun were even helping out with the classes (a little). Except for the fact that he was still cursed, life was about as good as it could get for Ranma Saotome.
But all the good things that had happened paled in comparison to the announcement that Tofu-sensei had just made. Nannichuan. The cure for his curse. (And his father's, and Mousse's and even Ryoga's...)
"you've got the cure. You've got the Cure! YOU'VE GOT THE CURE!" Ranma finished with a shout that could be heard over most of Nerima.
"There is no need to shout my son," Nodoka chided.
"Mom!"
Tofu chuckled wryly before speaking. "I can understand his enthusiasm Mrs. Saotome. Now, before we continue, I must ask that you follow any directions I have for the use of the Nannichuan EXACTLY. It could be very hazardous if used improperly," Tofu warned those present.
"I am sure they will," Nodoka said while touching the bundle that contained the Saotome clan sword.
"Very good. Now the instructions I give may seem strange, but I assure you, they are necessary. First, I need all the women to leave the house, and don't use the front entrance."
"Huh? Why is that sensei?" Ukyo asked from her spot on the floor.
"I will not open the Nannichuan until I am sure that all risks are minimized. I am not willing to have any of you women get wet in some freak accident. If you knew how much trouble I had getting here, you wouldn't argue. Please."
"We can go over to my restaurant and wait," Ukyo offered.
"This could take a few days Kuonji-san. It would be better to wait until I call you," Tofu informed her.
'Days?' half the room thought.
"Kasumi dear, get Nabiki. You and your sisters will stay with me until the doctor calls for us. You may wish to pack a bag. You as well Akane."
"Yes Auntie," Kasumi replied before she and Akane disappeared up the stairs to prepare.
It took about ten minutes to get the women safely bundled off the property. Tofu had to prevent Nabiki from leaving through the front entryway. The pressure point he struck would do no lasting harm, but Nabiki's legs would be out of order for a few hours.
Once the women were out of the compound, Tofu put spirit wards on all the entrances to the compound, dojo and house proper. The hot water heater was turned off, the main gas valve to the house was shut off and every breaker in the fuse box was switched off except for the house main and some lights. While he was at it, Tofu also shut off the water lines and checked all the plumbing for leaks. After the preparations were finished, Tofu joined Ranma, Genma and Soun in the spacious Tendo bathroom.
"First off, we need to drain the furo and towel off any excess water before we do anything else."
"Isn't all this stuff overkill Doc? Can't you just splash us?" Ranma asked while opening the drain on the furo.
"It doesn't work that way Ranma. We can take no chances," Tofu explained. "There are many strong spirits, good, evil and other, associated with Jusenkyo. By taking these precautions, we can eliminate much of their influence. I assure you, if I had opened the keg with one of the women present, she would have somehow gotten wet. By removing them from here, we protect them from the power of Jusenkyo."
Tofu carefully unlocked the chains binding the keg to the dolly before getting Soun's and Genma's help in lifting the keg to place on the counter that he had selected for it. "By the way, which of you will go first?" he asked the Saotome men.
"Me!" Ranma and Genma both responded.
Tofu sighed, pulled a US Bicentennial quarter out of his pocket and said, "Mr. Saotome, call it in the air."
"Heads."
Flip. Spin spin spin. Catch. Slap. Reveal.
"Heads it is."
Ranma took the loss with uncharacteristic calm. He waited until the furo had drained completely before using a couple of towels to dry off the excess water that had beaded on the sides of the oversized tub. After Ranma finished, Tofu-sensei put spirit wards on all the bathroom fixtures and replaced the drain plug with a special one that had a spirit ward branded into it.
"That should do it. Are you ready Mr. Saotome?"
"Certainly Doctor Tofu," Genma replied as he stripped down and listened to Tofu-sensei's instructions. It was important to use as little of the Jusenkyo water as possible in effecting a cure. The more water used, the greater the power of the Jusenkyo spirits and the more likely that some 'tragic story' would result instead of the cure that was sought.
Since his human form was smaller than his panda form, it was decided that he should start out in human form. Standing in the furo, he waited patiently while Tofu-sensei drew a half liter of water from the Nannichuan keg. Genma very carefully took the plastic container from the the doctor and unceremoniously dumped it over his head. When the water first contacted him and he did not turn into a panda, Genma's hopes rose.
"Make sure every part of your body gets wet. Otherwise we are just wasting our time and the Nannichuan."
It took 14 half liters or almost 20% of the Nannichuan before Tofu was satisfied with the results. Tofu sealed the Nannichuan keg before handing Genma a towel and a spare gi. Ranma wanted to throw his father into the koi pond to test the cure but settled for a glass of water from the kitchen. With no heat in the house until it was all over, it was too cold for horseplay.
The water Ranma threw at his father struck dead on. Although Genma got wet, he remained human. Genma insisted that the drops that fell from his eyes weren't tears, but no one believed him.
Ranma couldn't wait to go next. "Never gonna be a girl again, never gonna be a girl again, no no no no no no no," Ranma chanted repeatedly to himself. Tofu suggested that Soun and Genma keep an eye out for any strange occurrences while Ranma took his turn.
"Actually, since your female form is smaller than your male form, it would take less Nannichuan to cure you if you were in your cursed state. But I can understand if you don't wish to change. We should have plenty for you and Mousse."
"Uh Doc, there is someone else who needs the cure too."
"Really? I have heard of Pantyhose Taro, but I wasn't aware he wanted to be cured."
Ranma thought it over for a bit. "Old Pantyhose probably wouldn't want cured. I was kinda thinking of someone else anyway."
"Oh?"
"Well, I can't tell you who it is. I swore on my honor."
"I don't see how I could cure him if I don't know who he is."
"Well his cursed form is kinda small. You could fit him in one of Kasumi's noodle pots," Ranma explained.
"Well as long as there is total immersion, there shouldn't be a problem curing Ryoga."
"That's good... YOU KNEW!?"
"Yes, and if Akane's father had not told me that he was aware of what was going on, I would have taken 'P-chan' to a veterinarian for castration before I left Nerima," Tofu informed Ranma with a cold edge to his voice. "I was never very happy about that situation. It was wrong of Ryoga to take advantage of Akane that way."
"MR. TENDO KNEW!?" Ranma shouted before continuing, "If he knew... Why did he... That's just weird."
"You may discuss it with him if you choose. I will say no more about it."
After thinking it over for maybe two seconds, Ranma shrugged and said, "Whatever."
"Ranma, I didn't want to say this with your father present, but I expect the spirits of Jusenkyo to try much harder to prevent your cure than they did your father's. They seem to have an interest in you."
"Really?" Ranma asked in a mocking tone while pulling his clothes off and moving to stand in the furo.
"At this point, we can only hope for the best," Tofu stated while handing over the first batch of Nannichuan.
First pour.
Soun shooed a persistent group of Jehovah's Witnesses away from the dojo with his demon head technique.
Second pour.
Two mirrors, fifteen bowls, four teacups, and twenty seven plates simultaneously shattered at the Cat Cafe. Mousse was most upset.
Third pour.
A piece of space junk chose to fall from the sky at that precise moment. A golf ball-sized chunk survived reentry to impact three centimeters away from Genma's left foot. After overcoming his initial surprise, Genma warmed his hands in its heat.
Fourth pour.
A large section of the nether realms wondered why it had got so cold all of a sudden.
Fifth pour.
A bolt of lighting came out of a clear sky to strike at the Tendo home. Fortunately, Lum was flying overhead while looking for Ataru and took the hit.
Sixth pour.
Across the Earth, one hundred twenty six tossed coins landed on edge, forty seven toilets spontaneously exploded, and Stella got her groove back.
Seventh pour.
The Four Horsemen couldn't make it. Pestilence was sick, and Death was taking a holiday. So instead of destroying the Tendo Dojo as they had been asked, War decided to watch 'Patton' and Famine went out for ribs.
Eighth pour.
Hibiki Ryoga slipped unexpectedly while escorting Unryu Akari to a movie. Being Ryoga, he got wet. Akari didn't mind much, she loved pigs. Besides, she kept a thermos of hot water handy for just such emergencies. But she did wonder where the small white wings had come from.
Ryoga's only thought once he found out about the wings: "SAOTOME RANMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Ninth pour.
A minor demon was sent up to the mortal realm to find out what the Hell was going on. Unfortunately, he materialized in Juban instead of Nerima. Polyduchezides didn't last long after that.
Tenth pour.
Happosai, busy entertaining himself on the beaches of Rio de Janeiro, felt a tiny ping in the back of his head. He stopped ogling the nearly naked women for a moment, trying to figure out what it was. But then he snapped back to normal and got back to ogling.
Eleventh (and Final) pour.
The pillars of Heaven shook, and the spirit realms were in chaos. Many powerful spirits and lesser gods were preparing interventions on a scale unseen since the days of Moses. If all of them happened at once, it would be the equivalent of nuking Nerima. A single clear voice cut through the clamor. "Give the kid a break." The disturbances stopped immediately.
After testing his own cure, Ranma phoned the Cat Cafe to arrange Mousse's cure.
"Cat Cafe. May I help you?" It was Mousse all right, but he sounded a little upset.
"Mousse, this is Ranma."
"Not now Saotome, I'm dealing with a crisis here."
"Doc Tofu brought Nannichuan. Want some?" Click. "I can't believe it. He hung up. I could have sworn he wanted cured," he said to no one in particular.
While Ranma tried to remember if he had the Unryu's phone number anywhere, Mousse got busy. His hated glasses were perched firmly on his nose. He was moving at a pace that would have shattered the world's record if it had been on a track. If Saotome was joking, Mousse would rip his arms off. Then his legs, then anything else that could be ripped. But he'd mentioned Doctor Tofu. While he had his own reasons for not liking the man, Mousse thought the doctor trustworthy. He certainly wouldn't be running this fast if Saotome had said that he'd found the cure himself.
Mousse bounded over the wall of the Tendo compound, and noted the presence of Mr. Tendo and Ranma's father. Two groups of chains took care of them. He'd expected better, they hadn't even dodged. He also noted that most of the lights seemed to be out. Landing on the Tendo's porch he prepared to enter the house proper and search for Ranma and the Nannichuan. He failed to note the black clad physician who tapped a shiatsu paralyzation point.
Things were explained, motion restored, instructions given, Nannichuan poured and Mousse joined the ranks of the no longer cursed. No more sleeping in cages for him.
"Doctor, how can I ever thank you enough?" the former duck-boy asked of Tofu. He was shaking Ranma's hands at the time, but then he hadn't put his glasses back on yet.
"Do not thank me too much yet. I was unable to obtain any Nyannichuan for Shampoo."
"It wouldn't matter if you had," Mousse responded while Ranma handed him his glasses.
"Why not?" Ranma interjected.
"Shampoo's cursing at Jusenkyo was punishment for not returning with you," Mousse explained while adjusting his eyewear. "If she were to be cured without Cologne's permission, or without you, it would be a serious violation of Amazon law. She could be executed or worse... and you -never- heard me say that."
"What could be worse..." Ranma started.
"Believe me, the Joketzu can do things a lot worse than killing you," Mousse finished with a sour look on his face. "I've got to get back to the Cat Cafe. Thank you again Doctor."
After Mousse had left, Ranma turned to the physician. "Well, that leaves Ryoga. But how the heck are we going to track him down? He could be anywhere."
At that particular point in time, a fanged and bewinged piglet was being carried home by Unryu Akari. Her thermos had slipped out of her hands in the cold weather and shattered. No other ready supply of hot water was available. Akari didn't mind. The wings made her darling Ryoga that much cuter.
-----
Preparations were made and the search for Ryoga was on. Tracing Ryoga to the Unryu farm was easy enough. Getting him to Nerima took seven days and all the skill that Ranma, Ryoga and Tofu possessed. There were madmen bent on world conquest using giant mecha, demonic uprisings, two separate alien encounters and a mad scientist or three. (There was some overlap between the various groups.) Tofu admitted that it was even more difficult than getting the Nannichuan to Nerima had been. Ranma felt they were the best fights he'd had in months. Ryoga just wanted the cure and to get back to the Unryu farm.
By the time they returned to the Tendo Dojo, all three men were a little worse for wear. The Tendo daughters also wanted to know when they could come home. (Living with Nodoka had proved more stressful than expected.) It was December 30th. Shampoo and Cologne were due back in two days and everyone wanted things settled before they came back.
Three liters of Nannichuan in a eight liter noodle pot, throw in one piglet with fangs and wings, cover, shake well and poof! Instant cured Ryoga. The fact that the oven exploded immediately afterwards (even though the gas had been disconnected for over a week) was considered a mere annoyance. With the training hall now providing some income, Mr. Tendo simply bought a new oven while everyone else cleaned up the damage and got the house ready for the return of the women and the New Year's celebrations.
-----
Ono Tofu checked the seal on the keg of Nannichuan and pulled down the last of the spirit wards that he had placed over a week before. "Well, I have to go now," he told Ranma as stood next to the gate, a large pack riding square upon his shoulders.
"Don't tell me you're leaving already. What about Kasumi? You finally get control of yourself and tell her you love her, and NOW you're gonna walk? With New Year's in nine hours?"
"It is not that I want to leave." Tofu handed Ranma a sealed envelope with the words 'To Kasumi' written in green ink. "Ranma, there was a price for my control, and for the Nannichuan as well. I paid that price gladly, and I am still paying it. It may be years before the price is paid completely."
"Doc... I... I didn't know... Is there something I can do to help? I haven't got much money but what I've got's all yours," Ranma offered.
The young doctor chuckled. "The price can't be paid with money Ranma, it can only be paid with time."
"Huh?"
"When the promises I have made no longer bind me, I will tell you all about it. That is, if you haven't figured it out for yourself by then," Tofu finished with a smile.
"Sure Doc," Ranma answered quietly, wondering what Tofu-sensei had meant.
Tofu took a final look around the Tendo Dojo, as if to burn it forever into his memory. He then checked the chains holding the keg of Nannichuan to its dolly and adjusted his pack before exiting the gate and walking slowly into the distance.
"Don't worry, it'll be here when you get back. I promise," Ranma called to the slowly departing figure.
"I'll hold you to that," Tofu replied softly without turning.
END
Children of the Heart - The Cure
Note: There is a bit of overlap from the main story in this side story. (Even if it's more Ranma's POV as opposed to Ukyo's POV.) It's there so that the side story stands better on its own.
-----
To Saotome Ranma, it was as if a miracle had happened. Life since the failed wedding attempt had settled down nicely. Ryoga had chosen Akari over Akane and hadn't been seen since. Ranma would admit he missed the fights though. Happosai had lost to Pantyhose Taro, or Chon Wang as he called himself now. "Chon" was in Hong Kong and, if the tabloid reports were true, Happosai was spending his time in Okinawa.
Kodachi had apparently given up on him. During the date that Akane had insisted they go on, Kodachi admitted that she knew that Ranma didn't love her. After the failed wedding, Kodachi had a long stay in the hospital before leaving Nerima, apparently for good. He didn't believe the rumors he'd heard about her, but was grateful for her absence anyway.
Ukyo had given up on marrying him too. It had taken a few months for their friendship to recover. It had recovered, but it wasn't the same as it had been. The old nicknames were gone, and so was the free okonomiyaki. It was half price for him and half price for Akane too. Ranma was much more comfortable with Ukyo as a friend than as a potential lover.
Kuno, well he almost felt sorry for Kuno. After all the broken bones had healed, he transferred to an inpatient drug rehab clinic. It was considered the best place to treat the withdrawal symptoms. Drying out from all the stuff Kodachi had fed him all those years nearly killed Kuno.
Then Ranma had received a letter from Kuno indicating that he had figured out that he and the pig-tailed girl were one and the same and asked for his forgiveness. Unknown to anyone, Ranma went to the clinic only to find that Kuno had been sent to a psych facility after a suicide attempt.
At the psych hospital, the doctors told Ranma that Kuno had been diagnosed with acute extreme depression and delusional psychosis. The delusional part was dropped after Ranma demonstrated his Jusenkyo curse. One of the doctors, forcibly introduced to magic by Ranma, wound up a patient in another facility. The other two were a little more accepting and altered their treatment plan to deal with the reality of the situation. Ranma wondered what a 'sane' Kuno would be like. Since there had been major reconstruction going on at the Kuno compound, he thought he might find out soon.
The only major problems he had left were the Chinese Amazons. Not even all of them were problems. Mousse admitted that he was outclassed after Jusendo. There was still the occasional attack, but Ranma thought Mousse was doing it mostly to keep in practice. Although Ranma didn't consider Mousse as good a sparring partner as Ryoga had been, he was slowly turning Mousse into a reasonable challenge.
Shampoo and Cologne though were another story. They had disappeared right after the wedding for almost four months. After their return, a strict avoidance policy was enacted. Shampoo was persona non grata at the Tendo Dojo. Nothing she brought would be consumed by Ranma or anyone else. Ranma had also been the recipient of a lucky break.
On her first attempt to bring her 'airen' lunch at school after returning, Shampoo lost an odango to Principal Kuno's shears. It was a freak occurrence since the educator was in bonbori induced unconsciousness at the time. The damage to Shampoo's vanity was enough to keep her off school grounds. (Although Ranma admitted, if only to himself, the close cropped hair she wore afterwards did look nice.)
This gave Ranma a lot of breathing room, but Shampoo and Cologne were still out there somewhere, up to something. Ranma, Akane and Ukyo kept a wary eye out for trouble. Their vigilance had paid off a couple of times already. Akane was also much quicker to forgive or believe Ranma when Shampoo did manage to put him in a compromising position.
Without a doubt, the best thing that had happened since the failed wedding was that his relationship with Akane had improved steadily. She'd had some sort of talk with Ryoga after the failed wedding. She had calmed down somewhat after that. With the other fiancees pretty much out of the picture, her jealousy had faded to a mere fraction of what it had been. What convinced Ranma that there was some real hope for his relationship with Akane was "The Deal".
"The Deal" was simple. Ranma would eat anything Akane made without arguing about it, if and only if Akane tasted it first. The beating he took when he proposed "The Deal" was well worth the pain he thought. He had been smart enough to listen to Kasumi's suggestion not to propose "The Deal" when Akane was actually trying to feed him something.
After a few months, Akane proposed her own deal for serious training. Ranma had been reluctant to accept at first. When Kyoung-ja Chyo showed up from Korea claiming to be Ranma's fiancee, the mass stupidity that followed was enough to convince Ranma to train Akane in particular and women in general. Ranma also managed to publicly admit his feelings for Akane. (When their fathers attempted to set up another wedding in response, it resulted in a severe thrashing. With the promise of more thrashings to come if they ever tried it again.)
Ranma discovered there were unexpected benefits to working with Akane. Ranma was learning how to be a sensei, which is different from being just a martial artist. Mr. Tendo had been surprisingly helpful with lessons on not just what to teach, but how to teach. As Ranma became a better teacher, Akane became a better martial artist, and a much calmer person overall. She wasn't up to Shampoo's level yet, but she was getting better. If only he could find something to boost her speed.
To Ranma, the real kicker came when Ukyo asked to start taking lessons in Anything Goes in order to keep up with Akane. Ukyo even insisted on paying for her lessons (but was willing to accept a 50% discount). At the time, Ranma thought that being a real instructor, with a real student was the second best thing to happen to him since being cursed.
Within two months, Ranma was teaching a dozen students in advanced Kempo/beginner's Anything Goes twice a week. (Including Akane and Ukyo.) Akane was teaching two twice a week classes and a longer Saturday class. The extra exercise she was getting was making her more beautiful than ever to Ranma's eyes.
Genma and Soun were even helping out with the classes (a little). Except for the fact that he was still cursed, life was about as good as it could get for Ranma Saotome.
But all the good things that had happened paled in comparison to the announcement that Tofu-sensei had just made. Nannichuan. The cure for his curse. (And his father's, and Mousse's and even Ryoga's...)
"you've got the cure. You've got the Cure! YOU'VE GOT THE CURE!" Ranma finished with a shout that could be heard over most of Nerima.
"There is no need to shout my son," Nodoka chided.
"Mom!"
Tofu chuckled wryly before speaking. "I can understand his enthusiasm Mrs. Saotome. Now, before we continue, I must ask that you follow any directions I have for the use of the Nannichuan EXACTLY. It could be very hazardous if used improperly," Tofu warned those present.
"I am sure they will," Nodoka said while touching the bundle that contained the Saotome clan sword.
"Very good. Now the instructions I give may seem strange, but I assure you, they are necessary. First, I need all the women to leave the house, and don't use the front entrance."
"Huh? Why is that sensei?" Ukyo asked from her spot on the floor.
"I will not open the Nannichuan until I am sure that all risks are minimized. I am not willing to have any of you women get wet in some freak accident. If you knew how much trouble I had getting here, you wouldn't argue. Please."
"We can go over to my restaurant and wait," Ukyo offered.
"This could take a few days Kuonji-san. It would be better to wait until I call you," Tofu informed her.
'Days?' half the room thought.
"Kasumi dear, get Nabiki. You and your sisters will stay with me until the doctor calls for us. You may wish to pack a bag. You as well Akane."
"Yes Auntie," Kasumi replied before she and Akane disappeared up the stairs to prepare.
It took about ten minutes to get the women safely bundled off the property. Tofu had to prevent Nabiki from leaving through the front entryway. The pressure point he struck would do no lasting harm, but Nabiki's legs would be out of order for a few hours.
Once the women were out of the compound, Tofu put spirit wards on all the entrances to the compound, dojo and house proper. The hot water heater was turned off, the main gas valve to the house was shut off and every breaker in the fuse box was switched off except for the house main and some lights. While he was at it, Tofu also shut off the water lines and checked all the plumbing for leaks. After the preparations were finished, Tofu joined Ranma, Genma and Soun in the spacious Tendo bathroom.
"First off, we need to drain the furo and towel off any excess water before we do anything else."
"Isn't all this stuff overkill Doc? Can't you just splash us?" Ranma asked while opening the drain on the furo.
"It doesn't work that way Ranma. We can take no chances," Tofu explained. "There are many strong spirits, good, evil and other, associated with Jusenkyo. By taking these precautions, we can eliminate much of their influence. I assure you, if I had opened the keg with one of the women present, she would have somehow gotten wet. By removing them from here, we protect them from the power of Jusenkyo."
Tofu carefully unlocked the chains binding the keg to the dolly before getting Soun's and Genma's help in lifting the keg to place on the counter that he had selected for it. "By the way, which of you will go first?" he asked the Saotome men.
"Me!" Ranma and Genma both responded.
Tofu sighed, pulled a US Bicentennial quarter out of his pocket and said, "Mr. Saotome, call it in the air."
"Heads."
Flip. Spin spin spin. Catch. Slap. Reveal.
"Heads it is."
Ranma took the loss with uncharacteristic calm. He waited until the furo had drained completely before using a couple of towels to dry off the excess water that had beaded on the sides of the oversized tub. After Ranma finished, Tofu-sensei put spirit wards on all the bathroom fixtures and replaced the drain plug with a special one that had a spirit ward branded into it.
"That should do it. Are you ready Mr. Saotome?"
"Certainly Doctor Tofu," Genma replied as he stripped down and listened to Tofu-sensei's instructions. It was important to use as little of the Jusenkyo water as possible in effecting a cure. The more water used, the greater the power of the Jusenkyo spirits and the more likely that some 'tragic story' would result instead of the cure that was sought.
Since his human form was smaller than his panda form, it was decided that he should start out in human form. Standing in the furo, he waited patiently while Tofu-sensei drew a half liter of water from the Nannichuan keg. Genma very carefully took the plastic container from the the doctor and unceremoniously dumped it over his head. When the water first contacted him and he did not turn into a panda, Genma's hopes rose.
"Make sure every part of your body gets wet. Otherwise we are just wasting our time and the Nannichuan."
It took 14 half liters or almost 20% of the Nannichuan before Tofu was satisfied with the results. Tofu sealed the Nannichuan keg before handing Genma a towel and a spare gi. Ranma wanted to throw his father into the koi pond to test the cure but settled for a glass of water from the kitchen. With no heat in the house until it was all over, it was too cold for horseplay.
The water Ranma threw at his father struck dead on. Although Genma got wet, he remained human. Genma insisted that the drops that fell from his eyes weren't tears, but no one believed him.
Ranma couldn't wait to go next. "Never gonna be a girl again, never gonna be a girl again, no no no no no no no," Ranma chanted repeatedly to himself. Tofu suggested that Soun and Genma keep an eye out for any strange occurrences while Ranma took his turn.
"Actually, since your female form is smaller than your male form, it would take less Nannichuan to cure you if you were in your cursed state. But I can understand if you don't wish to change. We should have plenty for you and Mousse."
"Uh Doc, there is someone else who needs the cure too."
"Really? I have heard of Pantyhose Taro, but I wasn't aware he wanted to be cured."
Ranma thought it over for a bit. "Old Pantyhose probably wouldn't want cured. I was kinda thinking of someone else anyway."
"Oh?"
"Well, I can't tell you who it is. I swore on my honor."
"I don't see how I could cure him if I don't know who he is."
"Well his cursed form is kinda small. You could fit him in one of Kasumi's noodle pots," Ranma explained.
"Well as long as there is total immersion, there shouldn't be a problem curing Ryoga."
"That's good... YOU KNEW!?"
"Yes, and if Akane's father had not told me that he was aware of what was going on, I would have taken 'P-chan' to a veterinarian for castration before I left Nerima," Tofu informed Ranma with a cold edge to his voice. "I was never very happy about that situation. It was wrong of Ryoga to take advantage of Akane that way."
"MR. TENDO KNEW!?" Ranma shouted before continuing, "If he knew... Why did he... That's just weird."
"You may discuss it with him if you choose. I will say no more about it."
After thinking it over for maybe two seconds, Ranma shrugged and said, "Whatever."
"Ranma, I didn't want to say this with your father present, but I expect the spirits of Jusenkyo to try much harder to prevent your cure than they did your father's. They seem to have an interest in you."
"Really?" Ranma asked in a mocking tone while pulling his clothes off and moving to stand in the furo.
"At this point, we can only hope for the best," Tofu stated while handing over the first batch of Nannichuan.
First pour.
Soun shooed a persistent group of Jehovah's Witnesses away from the dojo with his demon head technique.
Second pour.
Two mirrors, fifteen bowls, four teacups, and twenty seven plates simultaneously shattered at the Cat Cafe. Mousse was most upset.
Third pour.
A piece of space junk chose to fall from the sky at that precise moment. A golf ball-sized chunk survived reentry to impact three centimeters away from Genma's left foot. After overcoming his initial surprise, Genma warmed his hands in its heat.
Fourth pour.
A large section of the nether realms wondered why it had got so cold all of a sudden.
Fifth pour.
A bolt of lighting came out of a clear sky to strike at the Tendo home. Fortunately, Lum was flying overhead while looking for Ataru and took the hit.
Sixth pour.
Across the Earth, one hundred twenty six tossed coins landed on edge, forty seven toilets spontaneously exploded, and Stella got her groove back.
Seventh pour.
The Four Horsemen couldn't make it. Pestilence was sick, and Death was taking a holiday. So instead of destroying the Tendo Dojo as they had been asked, War decided to watch 'Patton' and Famine went out for ribs.
Eighth pour.
Hibiki Ryoga slipped unexpectedly while escorting Unryu Akari to a movie. Being Ryoga, he got wet. Akari didn't mind much, she loved pigs. Besides, she kept a thermos of hot water handy for just such emergencies. But she did wonder where the small white wings had come from.
Ryoga's only thought once he found out about the wings: "SAOTOME RANMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Ninth pour.
A minor demon was sent up to the mortal realm to find out what the Hell was going on. Unfortunately, he materialized in Juban instead of Nerima. Polyduchezides didn't last long after that.
Tenth pour.
Happosai, busy entertaining himself on the beaches of Rio de Janeiro, felt a tiny ping in the back of his head. He stopped ogling the nearly naked women for a moment, trying to figure out what it was. But then he snapped back to normal and got back to ogling.
Eleventh (and Final) pour.
The pillars of Heaven shook, and the spirit realms were in chaos. Many powerful spirits and lesser gods were preparing interventions on a scale unseen since the days of Moses. If all of them happened at once, it would be the equivalent of nuking Nerima. A single clear voice cut through the clamor. "Give the kid a break." The disturbances stopped immediately.
After testing his own cure, Ranma phoned the Cat Cafe to arrange Mousse's cure.
"Cat Cafe. May I help you?" It was Mousse all right, but he sounded a little upset.
"Mousse, this is Ranma."
"Not now Saotome, I'm dealing with a crisis here."
"Doc Tofu brought Nannichuan. Want some?" Click. "I can't believe it. He hung up. I could have sworn he wanted cured," he said to no one in particular.
While Ranma tried to remember if he had the Unryu's phone number anywhere, Mousse got busy. His hated glasses were perched firmly on his nose. He was moving at a pace that would have shattered the world's record if it had been on a track. If Saotome was joking, Mousse would rip his arms off. Then his legs, then anything else that could be ripped. But he'd mentioned Doctor Tofu. While he had his own reasons for not liking the man, Mousse thought the doctor trustworthy. He certainly wouldn't be running this fast if Saotome had said that he'd found the cure himself.
Mousse bounded over the wall of the Tendo compound, and noted the presence of Mr. Tendo and Ranma's father. Two groups of chains took care of them. He'd expected better, they hadn't even dodged. He also noted that most of the lights seemed to be out. Landing on the Tendo's porch he prepared to enter the house proper and search for Ranma and the Nannichuan. He failed to note the black clad physician who tapped a shiatsu paralyzation point.
Things were explained, motion restored, instructions given, Nannichuan poured and Mousse joined the ranks of the no longer cursed. No more sleeping in cages for him.
"Doctor, how can I ever thank you enough?" the former duck-boy asked of Tofu. He was shaking Ranma's hands at the time, but then he hadn't put his glasses back on yet.
"Do not thank me too much yet. I was unable to obtain any Nyannichuan for Shampoo."
"It wouldn't matter if you had," Mousse responded while Ranma handed him his glasses.
"Why not?" Ranma interjected.
"Shampoo's cursing at Jusenkyo was punishment for not returning with you," Mousse explained while adjusting his eyewear. "If she were to be cured without Cologne's permission, or without you, it would be a serious violation of Amazon law. She could be executed or worse... and you -never- heard me say that."
"What could be worse..." Ranma started.
"Believe me, the Joketzu can do things a lot worse than killing you," Mousse finished with a sour look on his face. "I've got to get back to the Cat Cafe. Thank you again Doctor."
After Mousse had left, Ranma turned to the physician. "Well, that leaves Ryoga. But how the heck are we going to track him down? He could be anywhere."
At that particular point in time, a fanged and bewinged piglet was being carried home by Unryu Akari. Her thermos had slipped out of her hands in the cold weather and shattered. No other ready supply of hot water was available. Akari didn't mind. The wings made her darling Ryoga that much cuter.
-----
Preparations were made and the search for Ryoga was on. Tracing Ryoga to the Unryu farm was easy enough. Getting him to Nerima took seven days and all the skill that Ranma, Ryoga and Tofu possessed. There were madmen bent on world conquest using giant mecha, demonic uprisings, two separate alien encounters and a mad scientist or three. (There was some overlap between the various groups.) Tofu admitted that it was even more difficult than getting the Nannichuan to Nerima had been. Ranma felt they were the best fights he'd had in months. Ryoga just wanted the cure and to get back to the Unryu farm.
By the time they returned to the Tendo Dojo, all three men were a little worse for wear. The Tendo daughters also wanted to know when they could come home. (Living with Nodoka had proved more stressful than expected.) It was December 30th. Shampoo and Cologne were due back in two days and everyone wanted things settled before they came back.
Three liters of Nannichuan in a eight liter noodle pot, throw in one piglet with fangs and wings, cover, shake well and poof! Instant cured Ryoga. The fact that the oven exploded immediately afterwards (even though the gas had been disconnected for over a week) was considered a mere annoyance. With the training hall now providing some income, Mr. Tendo simply bought a new oven while everyone else cleaned up the damage and got the house ready for the return of the women and the New Year's celebrations.
-----
Ono Tofu checked the seal on the keg of Nannichuan and pulled down the last of the spirit wards that he had placed over a week before. "Well, I have to go now," he told Ranma as stood next to the gate, a large pack riding square upon his shoulders.
"Don't tell me you're leaving already. What about Kasumi? You finally get control of yourself and tell her you love her, and NOW you're gonna walk? With New Year's in nine hours?"
"It is not that I want to leave." Tofu handed Ranma a sealed envelope with the words 'To Kasumi' written in green ink. "Ranma, there was a price for my control, and for the Nannichuan as well. I paid that price gladly, and I am still paying it. It may be years before the price is paid completely."
"Doc... I... I didn't know... Is there something I can do to help? I haven't got much money but what I've got's all yours," Ranma offered.
The young doctor chuckled. "The price can't be paid with money Ranma, it can only be paid with time."
"Huh?"
"When the promises I have made no longer bind me, I will tell you all about it. That is, if you haven't figured it out for yourself by then," Tofu finished with a smile.
"Sure Doc," Ranma answered quietly, wondering what Tofu-sensei had meant.
Tofu took a final look around the Tendo Dojo, as if to burn it forever into his memory. He then checked the chains holding the keg of Nannichuan to its dolly and adjusted his pack before exiting the gate and walking slowly into the distance.
"Don't worry, it'll be here when you get back. I promise," Ranma called to the slowly departing figure.
"I'll hold you to that," Tofu replied softly without turning.
END
Children of the Heart - The Cure
