This is the first fanfic I have ever written. It is in Vaughn's POV about what he thought about the whole scene when Sydney found out that Russek didn't really work for K-Directorate.
Disclaimer: I don't not own "Alias" or any of the characters mentioned in this fic.
Weiss once told me I had "Balls of Steel". I believed it, but then one look in her eyes and I knew that name did not fit. I buckled under the pressure and told her something I should not have. The accusations of her father changing the transmission was something I should I nodded at and dismissed. Instead I contradicted her and I told her Russek got what he had deserved. After I said that, I knew I had done something wrong. Her eyes suddenly filled with hurt and confusion. Hurt because I said someone deserved to die and confusion because I comforted her over ever other death that had come of people around her.
If I had balls of steel like I supposedly had I wouldn't have turned away and I wouldn't have told her about her dad in Cuba. I would have told her why I felt that way about Russek. How I was sort of proud of Jack for what he did. That I had wanted to kill him ever since I read my dad's CIA file and saw that he was killed by a sting that Russek had set up. Yet I betrayed someone's trust and I fear I have risked her life. All I could think about was my dad and how hers might suffer the same fate if I didn't do anything. Now if Sloane finds out about her being in Cuba, he'll know someone would have tipped her off. That she wasn't working only for SD-6.
Now I have to wait and see. I think that I should have taken Weiss's advice, but I never did. I vow balls of steel is the way to go from now on, but I know that with one look into her eyes I'll break down and the vow to have balls of steel will be no more.
I know that we don't know if Russek killed Vaughn's dad, but I know that he did get overly-emotional in that scene. I also want to thank Prin Diddy for catching the narrative switch in the last paragraph. It's changed now.
