Hi, readers, here is #15. Submitted as completed with chapters. I know that some of you would like to see chapters submitted as written…easier to read on your phones, I'm told. I need to edit quite a bit and, therefore, must finish a story. Sorry if that makes it too difficult for some. Most readers tell me that they prefer my completed stories instead of having to wait for the next chapters. Perhaps they, like me, read on a computer, an iPad or a kindle.
As always, credit for the characters goes to E. L. James. The rest of the mess is mine. Take care, please, out there in the pandemic. As of this writing, over 500,000 of our loved ones just here in the States have suffered terrible deaths from this virus. Very distressing and yet we still have people who don't believe in masks and social distancing. This is confusing for me. My best to all of you.
This story has some time jumps, past and future. I've included notes a couple of times but I'm sure that you can figure out most.
There are 92 chapters and an epilogue. This is NOT a new story. I've transferred it from bluesky5678.
Five years earlier, Christian was blessed with beautiful twins and at the same time lost his beloved wife, Ana. Life is a soul-gutting struggle.
CHAPTER 1
He heard the footsteps pounding down the hall and braced himself for the high-pitched bellows of his five-year-old twins.
"DADDY, DADDY! Are you awake?"
He almost laughed. If he said no, would they go away quietly?
"I'll be out soon. Go find Aunt Gail and have breakfast," he spoke just loud enough for his children to hear him.
"Hurry, daddy! Today is our special day!"
"I will. I promise. Now, go, go," he urged.
"Okay, daddy," they yelled before pounding back down the hall.
This was the best and worst day of his year. He loved his children and was immeasurably grateful for them. Unfortunately, this wonderful day, their birthday, was also a reminder of the worst day of his life…the day their amazing mother, his beautiful wife, had died. It was a loss that had never lessened in its pain…only grown.
He rolled over unto his side, burying his face in his pillow, curling up and clenching his hand to his heart. His breathing came hard and harsh. His heart ached. He raised his head and looked at the picture of his lovely Ana, framed in silver, smiling gently at him from his nightstand.
Oh, god, oh, god. Ana, Ana, he cried. This can't be real. This can't be my life. She only came to him in dreams, now. Almost every night. She cried out to him and reached for him but he could never touch her. Never again.
Unbidden came the thoughts of her as he stood under a scalding shower. He hoped that the pain would distract him even a little but it did not.
"You turn that temperature down to a reasonable degree or you can stand in there alone," Ana would say, standing naked just out of range. He tried to grab her but she was adept at dodging his grasp.
"Okay…there. Is that acceptable?" Ana didn't understand how he could tolerate the broiling temps but if he wanted her to bathe with him….and he did…. He wanted her with him every second. It was a wonder he could leave for the office.
He closed his eyes and tried to imagine that Ana was with him now, standing against the tiles as he slipped inside her. She'd lift her legs to wrap around him and pull him closer. She'd hum with pleasure as he thrust, sometimes gently and sometimes hard and desperately, depending on his mood. She loved the way he enfolded her in his arms and buried his face in her shoulder.
He was alone now and would be until the day he died. Theo and Ali were everything to him. They were all he had now, all he had of Ana. Today they would ask for stories again about their mother and he enjoyed talking about her with them. They would go to Grey Manor and his family would be asked to talk about Ana as well. She was their unicorn….a mythical creature.
Grace would haul out all the photo albums and they would look at the pictures of their mother and ask Christian if "mommy really looked like that." No, he'd reply. Pictures could only begin to portray the beauty and spirit of Anastasia Rose Grey. They'd sigh and wish that they'd met her. They'd ask why it was that she had to die.
"It was her time," Grace would answer.
"She was fragile," Mia would say.
"Heaven needed an angel," Grampa Carrick would consol.
"I don't know," is all Christian could ever say. It wasn't her time and she was the strongest person he'd ever known and heaven could go find itself another fucking angel, he thought. But all he said was "I don't know".
The older they grew the more curious they were about their mother. They were the only children in their class who didn't have a mother. Sometimes, thoughtless classmates would tease them. Then they would come home, down-at-the-mouth, needing to hear more stories about Ana. There were images of her everywhere in their home and there were home movies of her pregnant with them but only their father could tell the stories in a way that made Ana come alive. And they didn't know how it both pleased him and tore at his heart to talk about her.
However, it was their birthday and he could deny them nothing.
CHAPTER 2
After breakfast, they would all pile into the car and the children would announce to Taylor that they were five-years-old now and were going to their party at their grandparents. Unfortunately, the death of Ana was too much for Ray Steele, her father. He struggled for a couple more years and was then buried next to her in the Grey family plot at Forest Gate. A few years earlier, Carrick had had the good sense to buy several more acres…ensuring that Greys for many generations would have a place to rest. Elliot's dear birth mother, Delta, had been buried there shortly after she had died at Grey Manor. She had given Grace and Carrick their first blessing and that made her family. Once a year the whole family made the trek out to Forest Gate to tidy the grave sites, plant flowers and pay their respects.
Before they were even unbuckled, the Greys swooped down on the twins. Theodore Raymond and Alexandra Grace were the apples of every ones' eyes. Grace hinted heavily that Kate should be adding to the family brood but she was only 26 and wanted to make progress in her writing career before being distracted by a child. She'd already written a non-fiction book about her friendship with Ana. It was her way of coping with a loss from which, she knew, she'd never recover. Elliot adored his fiancée and approved of almost everything she wanted.
Both children, as they were carried into the house, were loudly vocal about their age. Five was a major milestone. Grace and Carrick simply beamed at them and agreed. Mia grabbed Ali out of Grace's arms the moment they set foot in the house. Grace didn't mind…those kids were getting heavy.
The house was beautifully and magically decorated for the party. Pink and blue chiffon was draped everywhere along with twinkly lights and balloons and banners. Mia had even put up a birthday tree with pink and blue ornaments and a white sash. Under the tree were presents, piles of them. Through the patio windows could be seen a bouncy house.
Theo and Ali screamed and then put their little hands over their mouths. Ali dramatically announced that she was going to bounce up to the top. Good, Theo replied, then I get all the cake. The cake was a built as a fairy castle with its grounds being a baseball field. The moat was filled with punch.
"I don't know how you do it," Christian said, shaking his head. "Year after year, you always come up with something different. He leaned down and kissed Mia's cheek. "Ana would love this. Thank you."
"Oh, Christian, I read magazines, Pinterest, and mostly, I seem to dream these things. And once I get started on one element, the others just seem to fall into place. I adore these children…and you. It's always a little sad, though, isn't it?"
Christian simply pursed his lips and nodded. It would always be "a little sad".
"Theodore Raymond Grey, you get away from those gifts and no fingers in the cake until everything is ready," Elliot admonished. "First. We bounce!"
The children screamed "YES" and raced their uncle out the door. Elliot had always been like a big kid with endless enthusiasm and energy. He could play with the kids all day long…which was a load off the shoulders of the rest of the family.
Kate once again reflected that he would be a wonderful father and once again felt guilty for making him wait. Her reasons were partly practical. Her career was really starting to take off and she felt that she needed to strike while the iron was hot. Her publisher had been quite impressed with her book…titled simply 'Ana'. Next up was a book tour. Elliot wouldn't be able to accompany her all the time because he had to run his company…Grey Design and Construction. It, too, was staring to take off and he had had to train a second crew in order to handle all the work coming his way. But Kate's other reason was unspoken. A part of her heart was closed. While she dearly loved her fiancé, she found that she couldn't imagine loving a child without Ana to share the experience. She couldn't say it out loud but the loss of Ana had shut her down emotionally.
Yes, there was only one gray cloud in their sunny skies.
The absence of Ana.
CHAPTER 3
Christian and his family had decided early on that the children would receive presents only on their birthdays and Christmas. It had really been Ana's idea. She wanted the children to know the thrill she had known as a little girl when those days were so special because then she would get the things for which she had been pining. If children received presents year-round, whenever they wanted something, birthdays and Christmas wouldn't be as exciting.
She was right, of course. Weeks before either big day, Theo and Ali would secrete themselves in their room…discussing, reading the toy catalogues and making their lists of wishes. Waiting and planning was half the fun.
After bouncing around with Uncle Elliot, they were worn out. They perked up when Gramma Grace called them into dinner. It was all their favorite foods, too. Grilled cheese, fries, fruit salad, peas and rice. This was food that ordinarily they would not be permitted to eat on the grounds that it was 'junk' food…according to their health-conscious father. They stuffed themselves and politely offered to help with the cleanup…an insincere ruse, of course.
It was presents time! They were helped off their booster seats and they flew off to the birthday tree. They didn't know where to start. All the pink gifts were Ali's and all the blue belonged to Theo, of course.
"Encouraging gender stereotypes, I see," Elliot remarked to Mia. She just smiled.
"As they get older, I'll back off on those, I promise."
"Nah, I'm just razzing you, sis. This is great. You did good. Thanks for handling all the tough stuff. All I had to do is bounce. Which reminds me….Mom, I need an aspirin."
The adults all sat around on the couches watching the children with delight. Mia remarked that everyone else was in charge of gathering up all the debris while she sat back with a glass of wine.
No one cared. The screams of joy, the thrill of each package revealing something wonderful, was worth all the wrapping paper scattered everywhere. There was one giant box wrapped in both pink and blue paper.
Theo and Ali just looked at it and then back at their family.
"Go ahead. It's for both of you," Grace prodded them.
It was filled with small, inexpensive items…jacks, paddle-balls, model cars to race, a giant bubble-blower, water pistols and more. It was obvious that this was their favorite gift. Both children jumped up and distributed hugs and kisses to all the adults. They didn't know what to play with first. Elliot summoned them out of doors where he had a bucket filled with soapy water. Soon bubbles filled the air. And the bubbles were so large that bursting one over someone's head meant a soaking.
As soon as Mia joined in, Elliot quietly slipped out the front door. He knew that he'd find Christian on the front porch, silently crying. As Christian sat there, folded arms on his knees and his head down, he felt a strong arm settle around his shoulders. Nothing was said for some time.
Christian sniffled. "The kids doing okay?"
"Yeah, sure. Between the bubbles and the water pistols, Mia is going to be drenched by end of day."
"How's Kate doing? Come to think, I haven't seen her in a while. I suppose she's helping mom clean up."
"Com' on. Kate?" Elliot laughed. "If I weren't a neat freak, our house would be a constant wreck. Nah, she's gone off to visit Ana. She does that every year, you know. Maybe more often, I don't know. It helps her a lot. She'll return in much better spirits."
"I go there now and again, too. Sometimes, I don't even know that's where I need to be until I arrive. It's creepy the way that Taylor knows me so well."
"Well, he's been with you a long time. What is it, now?"
"12 years. You know. It occurs to me that I've never acknowledged all the help you've been these last five years. I couldn't have made this far without you, El." Christian smiled at his brother.
"And I'm still here. Always will be. I still remember when the folks came to me and asked how I'd feel about having a little brother. I was wary. Mom told me that this little kid had been through the wringer and really needed a good big brother. I knew that you were going to be trouble and I'd probably regret agreeing to take you on but I said okay. When they walked in the door with this kid, skin and bone, head down, mute, covered in sores…I said to myself right then and there that I was going to be the best big brother I could possibly be. And, boy, it was not an easy task. I don't think I saw the real you until Ana. After that, it was all smooth sailing."
"For two wonderful years, yeah," Christian sighed. "Why, El? Why just a measly two years? It wasn't enough."
"A lifetime wouldn't have been enough, Christian. I feel the same way about Kate. She's going on a book tour, you know. A whole month of flying around the country promoting her book. I'm going to be a nervous wreck. You haven't read it yet, have you, Chris?"
"No. I probably won't. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Kate understands. She's grateful that you gave her permission to write it. She really needed to do that. It's the only thing that kept her going in the early days. I'm a little concerned that when the tour is over and she is alone again with her loss that she won't be able to handle it."
"I've been seeing John Flynn for a while. It's something anyway. Perhaps Kate should try therapy, too.
Elliot chuckled. "The whole family should be in therapy, Chris."
They sat in silence after that. When Christian again began crying, Elliot tightened his hold on his little brother.
CHAPTER 4
By the time that Kate had returned, red-eyed but smiling, the children were tuckered out and ready to go down for a nap. Grace and Carrick carried them to the guest room and put them to bed. A few hours of peace, they grinned at each other.
Christian said that he wanted to go see Ana and thanked them for watching the kids while he was gone. Say hi for us, they said as they bid goodbye.
As soon as Christian entered the car, Taylor took off for the cemetery without a word. Yes, he did indeed know his boss. Christian said nothing, just stared out the window. Sometimes, when he did that, he saw Ana's face, her plump pink lips and her big blue eyes.
By the time they arrived at the Grey plots, he was desperate to speak with his wife. He walked quickly up the hillside. He'd selected a plot for Ana that had a beautiful overlook. Her grave site had a lovely pink marker with a picture of her attached. Grey gently brushed a finger over it. Her epitaph was simple: We who love you will never forget you. You are always loved.
He sat on the bench next to the marker and looked down at the green earth holding Ana. He told Ana about her children, their lives, their current comatose state after much cake and many birthday presents. He reminded her that Kate had been by an hour before.
"We mourn you, my darling. It never ends. I find it increasingly difficult to go on without you. One hundred times a day I turn to you but you aren't there. I still cannot believe it's possible. I keep hoping that I'll wake up from this horrible nightmare.
"I try, Ana. I try to engage with life and the world because of the children. They are very much aware of you, you know. Your pictures are everywhere at home. I've shown them home movies of you and they love that. They ask for stories about you all the time.
"I can get them to read by telling them how smart you were. You are as real to them as anyone could be under the circumstances. Ali told me that you came to her in a dream. Theo was jealous so I think that you'd better visit him soon, too. As for me, I dream of you almost every night. It isn't enough, of course.
"I'm holding it together, dear. I will continue to be the best father that I know how to be but I will never be able to give the children a new mother. It's been hinted by Grace and Carrick that I've mourned enough and that I should open myself to someone new. It's hopeless, of course.
"I'll always be in love with you and I've no room in my heart for another woman. The very thought is repellent. I have no physical desire except for you. I'm a eunuch….and I'm content to remain so. You are everything, Ana."
Christian sat there until he felt Taylor beside him.
"Sir, it's begun to rain. Perhaps it's time to collect the children. They should be up from their naps about now. They'll be looking for you."
"Yes. Of course, Taylor. Let's go get the little ones. Goodbye, Ana."
Together the men walked back down the hill, got into the car and drove back to Grey Manor.
When they arrived, the place had been cleaned and returned to its pre-party appearance.
The children were sitting on the floor, idly playing jacks. Clearly, they'd had enough for the day.
"You guys ready to go home?" As the children nodded in the affirmative, Grey reminded them to kiss and hug everyone goodbye. One relative after another was duly thanked and bid goodbye.
Theo and Ali slept on the way home.
Christian looked at the houses as they went along. He and Ana had talked about buying a house on the Sound, in the country. They were planning to wait until the kids were older. Maybe he ought to do that. The twins needed a yard and a dog. He decided to start looking. It was just that he felt Ana in every corner of Escala. How could he leave her?
CHAPTER 5
"Daddy?"
"Yes, Ali?"
"Tell us again about how you met mommy?"
"It's getting late and you were sleeping in the car on the way home. Are you sure that you can stay awake?"
"Please, daddy!" the twins squealed.
"All right. A short version and then you sleep. Okay? Mommy was a very smart girl. Always top grades in school. The brightest kid in her class. In fact, she was so smart that she skipped grades. When I met her, she was graduating from college and she was only 20 years old. I was the speaker at her commencement and when she came on stage to collect her diploma and shake my hand, I looked into her eyes and fell immediately and deeply in love, although it took me a while to realize it.
"Really, daddy? Right away?"
"Yes, right away. I chased after her as she left. I couldn't find her and all I knew was that her name was Anastasia. I must have asked a hundred people if they knew her before I met a student who pointed her out in the crowd. I was so relieved."
"What did you do then, daddy?"
"Well, I was nervous but I knew that I couldn't let her get away so I walked right up to her and introduced myself. She told me that she liked my speech and then she excused herself to go be with her father. I just followed after her. Then I introduced myself to her father. She gave me an odd look and it was all rather awkward. So, I asked her father if I could take his daughter to dinner soon. She just stared at me like I was crazy."
"Keep going, daddy!"
Christian sighed. "Okay. Well, she agreed to go to dinner with me the next night and the night after that and so on. We basically never left each other. I mean, I had to go to work and Ana had to go to her new job but every minute we had free, we spent with each other. I think that was more me than her, however. I couldn't stand to be away from your mother. I just needed to be with her."
Christian stopped…his words caught in his throat and he had to blink back tears. The children grew quiet and didn't push for more. Ali poked her brother and then the two of them together threw their little arms around their father's neck and hugged him hard. He in turn grasped them close to him.
"Don't cry, daddy," Theo whispered. Christian sniffled again and then, giving his children one last squeeze, he put them down and pulled up their covers. At five, they still wanted to share a bed. That's how it was with twins, he guessed. He found them still curled up together in the morning.
"I love you. Good night," he said softly. Before he turned out the light, they were asleep. He left their nightlight on and he closed the door. His wonderful children. They never had bad dreams and they slept peacefully through the night. He was so grateful. He wanted them to have a blissful childhood with no trauma to mar their days and nights. That was his goal now…his only desire. He had none for himself.
He already knew that he wouldn't sleep well tonight. He hadn't, in his life, known a good night's sleep except for the nights that he spent with Ana. Those were gone now.
He shut himself up in his shower and cried hard as the hot water rained down on him. No one could hear him over the falling water and after…no one would see his reddened and swollen eyes. He wondered if his feelings would ever dull just enough to spare him the sharpest edges of agony that he felt each waking moment. It had been five years since he'd been stopped by the doctor on his way back to his wife after seeing the babies safely into their incubators.
"Mr. Grey. A moment, please. Could we sit here in the hallway to talk?"
It was at that moment that Christian already knew that his world had splintered into a million shards. He tried to push past the doctor but the doctor pushed him into a chair.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Grey. We don't know what happened. Your wife's heart just stopped. We did all we could. I'm sorry…she's gone."
Christian raced down the hall as if he could change the diagnosis if he just got to Ana quickly enough…but, of course, he couldn't. Ana was already becoming cold. She was as white as the sheets, her lips no longer pink. He shook her gently and begged her to waken but he had to accept that she was dead. He sat at her bedside for almost an hour, holding her hand, until Carrick put hands on his arms and lifted him from his seat. He leaned down and kissed her cold lips one last time.
"Your babies need your touch, Christian. You have to help them now. Ana is fine. She just isn't with us anymore."
Christian followed his father down the hall in a fog…a fog he remained in for weeks. He vaguely remembered the funeral service and standing at the grave site in the rain for a long time before his father and brother led him away. The numbness was a blessing, he later understood, for when the fog lifted, he was thrown into hell…and there he stayed.
He'd grown accomplished at pretending to be among the living but he never returned. He came alive somewhat for his children but it was always a struggle. He cried at least a little every day. His heart felt shriven by white-hot daggers. His head ached continually. He knew not a moment's peace…ever. His life was one of drifting through the motions.
Pushed by his mother, he began to see a therapist every week. John Flynn was undoubtedly a fine doctor but even he came eventually to realize that Christian was no ordinary patient, no ordinary man. He had guarded his heart all his life and when he gave it away, it was gone…for good. John gave Grey an outlet to talk about Ana without bestowing platitudes like everyone else did. John never told Grey that he would love again. He never assured him that the pain would lessen. He never urged him to move on. He simply listened and, somedays, sat in the silence with Grey until the hour was up.
John had never met a man like Grey. He knew that there was only one way out for him and until that day came, Grey would remain in love and in pain.
CHAPTER 6
All babies are born innocent, aren't they? Not Elena Lincoln. As far back as she could remember, she had been scheming. She had never cared for anyone or anything other than herself. In her mother's arms, she had plotted to get more of anything she wanted. Her father was a drunk so Elena found him to be useless in her life. She put rat poison in his nightly beer. There, she thought, one less mouth to feed and more for her. Her mother went to work which gave Elena more time to do things that her mother would not allow….watch TV, eat, play pranks on the neighbors…and, as she grew, run around with the boys. By the age of 20, she'd had three abortions. The lives she destroyed meant nothing to her. When she looked in the mirror, she saw a beautiful woman and knew that she had to move on.
She left her mother in the dead of night after stealing all the money out of her mother's purse and out of the coffee can in the kitchen. She left no note…the empty coffee can would be her goodbye. She felt nothing…nothing for her mother, her neighborhood, the life she was leaving. She had no friends…only people she used. A Greyhound bus took her to Seattle. The trip had cost her nothing but a sweet smile, a few tears and a sad story about being mugged. The driver was a schmuck…like all men. Easily manipulated. While her mother wore dresses years old, Elena had a suitcase full of the nicest clothes. It took her all of one evening to meet Eric Lincoln in the Fairmont Hotel bar and three weeks later she was married to one of the richest men in Seattle. He was smitten…a sucker punch to the heart. Perusing the society pages of the Seattle Times, Elena soon found her latest targets. Her biggest target was Grace Grey, doyen of Seattle Society. Elena followed her in the newspapers and through gossip at the best salons in town. She discovered in herself a newfound love of small children, particularly the small child of Grace Grey.
Grace was too naïve to suspect that she was being followed so when she found Elena Lincoln weeping on the park bench that Grace usually occupied while she watched her son play, she tried to comfort the young woman. She pitied her that she was infertile and her husband uninterested in having children anyway. To never have children…Grace's heart broke for her. She confided in Elena that her son was adopted after several miscarriages. Elena's "heart" then broke for Grace. After almost a year of meeting on that bench and encouraging Grace to open up to her, they'd become great friends.
In the years to come, Elena was always there. When Grace first saw Christian in the hospital, she, in fact, was the second person that Grace called…after Carrick and even before her own parents. Elena would understand more than anyone, after all. When Elena first met the scrawny, mute four-year-old boy, she was unimpressed. His older brother, Elliot, was charming, outgoing and handsome.
Elena had discovered BDSM when Eric took her to a "special" club. She immediately felt an attraction to the life…only she wasn't interested in being a sub. She wanted to be the dominant. She patronized the club more than her husband did or knew about. She studied the doms and soon was practicing on the subs herself. She always wore a mask and adopted a pseudonym. Only the manager knew who she really was.
It had taken a couple of years but she gradually wore Eric down. He bought her a small mansion down the street from the Greys to whom she made frequent visits. She found a storeroom in her basement. While Eric was working, often out of town, Elena purchased the necessary implements and decked out the storeroom with carabiners, a spanking bench and a bed. She hung the walls with whips and floggers and canes…a lot of canes. She had a lock installed in an upper corner of the storeroom door. She was insanely proud of what she had created in her basement. When she and Eric cuddled on the couch, watching porn movies on the screen she'd installed in front of the door, she'd smile to herself. Between the porn and the thrill of knowing about her secret place, she became aroused enough to fuck her husband… a man in whom she had zero interest.
Poor Eric. He thought he'd caught the golden ring as his wife mounted him while in her head she was beating and fucking Elliot Grey. Oh, he needed to grow a bit yet. He was only eight. However, he was tall and by the age of, say, twelve, he'd be ready. That new kid, however…well, she'd probably have to take a pass on him. He wasn't going to amount to anything.
CHAPTER 7
Jeb and Mary were in love. The opportunities to be alone together were few. Yet their love grew. They were of age and both their parents were urging them to find suitable mates. Finally, they confessed to their parents that they wished to marry. Mary's parents were fine with this as Jeb was the son of one of the richest farmers in their Amish community.
Jeb's father, on the other hand, was not pleased with his son's choice. Mary's parents were fine people, well-respected but not well off. He had someone else in mind for his son. Alice was the daughter of another rich family and joining the two families would be a far more advantageous match.
Desperate, Jeb and Mary knew that they could not stay. In the dead of night, they left their homes and met on the road. Neither had ever left their small community and knew nothing of the English world outside it except for the stories they'd heard. The stories were frightening. Still, they felt that they had no choice. They determined to be brave, to face the outside world and to make their way together. After walking all night, they reached a small village. Their parents had spoken of it as they sometimes had to venture there for certain supplies or to see a doctor. It must be safe, Jeb and Mary felt. They had a little money…enough to buy a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter. They could live on these for many days. Jeb pretended to be full so that there would be more for Mary.
A local farmer approached them, recognizing their Amish garb. He surmised that they were running away and he sympathized. He asked them why they hadn't waited until Rumspringa to leave. They replied that they were past the age of Rumspringa and that they had been baptized into the faith. Besides, in their community, children were not permitted to leave during Rumspringa to experience the English world. They went on to say that their parents would not permit them to marry.
The kindly farmer felt bad for them. He, himself, had married against his parent's wishes and, thus, he and his wife had no relationship with them. It was sad but he dearly loved his wife, he said, and that made the heartache worth it. He offered to drive them to a bus station in a nearby town. First, however, he took them home to spend the night and for his wife to pack them a basket of food for the journey. He told them that the bus could take them to Nevada where they could be married easily. Jeb and Mary took his kindness toward them to be a sign from God that they were doing the right thing.
In Nevada, they heard of religious communities elsewhere. None were Amish but they were true believers, they were told. They traveled to these communes and were always disappointed. They were not religious communities; they were cults…frightening places from which they ran in fear. Eventually, they made their way to the west coast and headed north, stopping along the way to do odd jobs to earn money. Jeb's skills were well received and he and Mary could have stayed in any of those places but they wanted less of the English world. One day, walking on a rough road, they stumbled upon Whiting, Wasington. It was a very small town but the people were friendly. They stayed for a couple of weeks while they earned more money. While there, they learned of a farm several miles from town. They were told that the farm was owned by an old man who lived alone and was in need of help. So, seeking to be of aid, they walked to the farm and met Mr. Adams. He offered them a room to sleep in and good godly work to do…work such as they had done back home. He had cows and a horse and pigs and chickens. He planted an acreage as well. There were no people around and few visitors. Sometimes, he told them, the sheriff would come by to check on him. Otherwise, no one bothered him.
It wasn't an Amish community but it was a good place to live their lives in peace. They accepted his offer. Three years later he died, leaving the farm to Jeb and Mary. Jeb dug a grave out behind the little house and made a marker of stone for Mr. Adams. The only sorrow in their lives was the lack of children. It seemed that God meant them to be barren. They sadly accepted this and became still closer because of it. They worked their farm. They prayed together. They held each other at night and were happy. They sometimes missed their families but thought it best to never contact them. Jeb, in particular, feared his father.
Many years passed. Once or twice a year, they would mount their horse and go into town for supplies that they couldn't make themselves. While there, they would treat themselves to a stay at the local Bed and Breakfast, Maisies. Mary would prepare pastries at the café…enough to freeze and put away for months. Jeb would find carpentry jobs. The townsfolk would look forward to these visits, putting off necessary work until Jeb and Mary arrived to help. Half the barns in the area had been built with Jeb's know-how. The café would thaw and bake Mary's much-loved pastries for months. Loaded up with supplies and their pockets filled with money, Jeb and Mary would return to their farm. They considered themselves to have a good life and were happy.
When the strange woman drove up in her fancy car one day, they were surprised and a little concerned. The only vehicles they ever saw were usually trucks in the village. This was a rich person's car. Jeb figured that the driver was lost.
The chauffer stepped out of the black SUV and opened the back door. A tall woman dressed in black and wearing a wide-brimmed hat exited and looked around. She seemed put-off and confused. As Jeb approached, she looked at him with disdain.
"Is this the Adams cult?" she demanded.
CHAPTER 8
Cult? Jeb and Mary looked askance at each other.
"No, ma'am!" Jeb firmly asserted. He knew about cults and had no desire to be identified as such.
"This road won't take you nowhere," he said. "It ends about a mile that way. You can turn around right here. A few miles that way will take you to Whiting. Maybe you can get directions there to the cult you're looking for." He was anxious for her to get going.
"I was told that this was the Adams place," the woman said. Jeb didn't take to her. She was haughty and cold. It was clear that she looked down on him.
"It was…at one time. Mr. Adams is long dead. My wife and I own the place now."
"Quite isolated, isn't it?" the woman smiled approvingly. "Do you get visitors much?"
"We don't get visitors," Jeb answered in a cautious voice. "What can I do for you?"
"It's damp out here. Perhaps we ought to go inside to talk. I have a proposition for you."
Jeb was certain that he wasn't interested in anything this strange woman had to say but she was already heading for his door.
Mary was inside making dinner and was quite startled when the door swung open and a woman strode in. Mary stared as the woman sat down at the table, making herself right at home. Perhaps she was lost. So many people had been kind to her and Jeb when they were traveling that Mary felt sympathy for this stranger.
"Good aft, ma'am. May I offer you a drink? A cup of coffee?"
The woman looked at her as if she'd suggested a cup of poison. Jeb followed her in the door and walked to Mary, putting a protective arm around her.
"The proposition I have for you requires your utmost discretion. Do you understand?" she demanded.
"Not yet," Jeb answered warily.
"I'll get right to the point. I have a daughter. She is brain-damaged. Her father wants me to put her into an institution, a terrible place, where she would be simply warehoused until her death. She has no memory and, according to the doctors, will never be able to be normal. I love her dearly and hoped to find a simple community, a Christian community, to take care of her. She loves animals and nature so a farm like this would be ideal.
"I will pay you for her keep and I will come by once a year to give you a lump sum and to check on her wellbeing. Her stay here must be kept a secret for her sake, to keep her safe. Her father is an evil man and is ashamed of her. He will do anything to hide her."
The woman dabbed at her eyes as if she were crying although Mary noted no tears.
"I've even feared that he would find a way to kill her." Jeb gasped.
"I'm begging you to take her. I know you are Amish and Amish are good people. I know that I can trust you to love her and care for her. When I visit, I'll want only to know if she is all right. She can't see me or she will beg to return home with me. It would be too painful for both of us. She must understand that this is now her home. She will forget about me."
At these words, the woman bowed her head and sobbed loudly. Jeb and Mary looked at each other. This was very strange indeed but they had always wanted a child and they could use the help on the farm.
"Perhaps we should meet her first," Mary said.
"Her name is Ana. She is asleep now and might be for some time. Her father liked to put a sleeping powder in her milk so that she would spend her days in bed and he wouldn't have to see her. However, she is of marriageable age now and suitors have been inquiring about her. She has received many invitations to dances and parties. People are beginning to wonder where she is and my husband is afraid that someone will discover her…hmm…disabilities. He thinks that I've taken her to an asylum. As long as she is gone, he will be pleased and disinterested in her whereabouts."
"Where will other people think she is?" asked Mary.
"We've told everyone that she is in a hospital in Switzerland, receiving treatment for a rare disease. Soon, we'll put out the word that she has succumbed to her illness."
The woman gestured to the chauffeur. He left the house and returned a few minutes later with a petite girl in his arms. Mary showed him to a small room off the kitchen where he laid the girl down on a bed. Mary noted that she was a very pretty girl with long brown hair and a sweet face. She pulled the covers up over her and gently smoothed her hair.
In the living area, the woman handed Jeb an envelope with a large sum of money, more than they would ever need. He felt quite uncomfortable accepting payment for doing a good deed but the woman insisted. The girl, she said, might need something. The chauffeur set down a suitcase and went back to the car.
"Now, remember, no one is to know about my daughter being here. I only want to keep her safe. Oh, and this is of utmost importance. My daughter is prone to terrible headaches. After searching for years, I found a doctor who mixed up a special potion for her. If you give her a tablespoon of this every night before bed, she'll be fine in the morning. But if you forget, she'll wake screaming and the medicine won't help. She'll be sick for days. So, don't forget…every night. Here is the powder. Just mix a cup of the powder in a quart of water, shake and you'll have enough for a few months. I'll leave enough with you to last until my next visit."
The woman handed a heavy bag to Mary.
"Keep watch on my darling girl. Don't let anyone know that she's here. I may be overly cautious but better safe than sorry."
Jeb nodded and watched the woman return to her car. The chauffeur turned the car around in the farm yard and drove off toward Whiting. The windows were tinted and Jeb couldn't see the woman sitting back against the plush seat and smiling broadly.
Mary returned to Jeb's side and they watched as the car disappeared over the rise. What, they wondered, had they gotten themselves into?
CHAPTER 9
Theo and Ali were playing in the great room, giggling and enjoying an old-fashioned game of jacks. Gail was in the kitchen, watching over them while she prepared dinner. She reflected that tonight's dinner would involve the usual disagreement over vegetables. Mr. Grey insisted that his children have at least one green vegetable per meal while his children insisted that vegetables were yucky. Gail tried to disguise the vegies with sauces but Mr. Grey preferred that the children learn to eat without sweet accompaniments. He was, generally, an indulgent father but eating well and healthy was a religion of sorts with him. Tonight's vegetable was broccoli. Gail steeled herself for a battle royal.
Mr. Grey was in his study, ostensibly studying spreadsheets for a new acquisition. In truth, he was staring at the large sepia-toned pictures of Ana hanging on the wall opposite his desk. He also had several small framed pictures of himself and Ana at their wedding. It had been an intimate but beautiful affair arranged by his talented sister, Mia. He was in a tux. Ana was wearing a stunning dress of lace and satin. It had a train and buttoned up the back, tiny buttons that took him forever to undo. He smiled to himself, remembering how desperately he wanted to get her out of the dress and how long it took. He had threatened to rip it open and she had promised that he would spend his wedding night alone if he ruined her gown. It was now packed away, carefully stored for Ali to wear one day, if she wished.
He closed his eyes and replayed his wedding day in his mind. Standing at the altar in his parents' back yard, in the dusk, with tiny white lights illuminating the arbor of tea roses under which he and Ana would take their vows. Watching her glide up the aisle in her bare feet with her tiny pink toes, her father beaming with pride. Ana never took her eyes off of her groom. He felt Elliot dab at the tears falling down his cheeks. He was so absorbed with Ana that he scarcely noticed Elena grimacing at Ana, her eyes blazing with hatred for his beautiful bride.
They had been married just four months after meeting at her spring graduation. He had given up BDSM for her and found it to be no sacrifice at all…much to Elena's dismay. To Ana's dismay, she'd been invited to the wedding…sitting in the front row with the family. She was Grace's dearest friend and Christian had not been able to confess the truth of his relationship with her to his parents. Elliot knew and Mia, who did not know, loathed Elena. When she dropped by the house, they found reason to be elsewhere. Elena had done everything in her power to discourage Christian's love affair with Ana…to no avail. When she found that he had dismantled his Red Room, she nearly cried…a first for Elena.
Lord, how she despised Ana…the smug little tramp who had stolen her prize pet. Ana constantly interfered in her relationship with Christian. Their meetings grew less frequent and lasted only minutes. Christian began to question her request for money. Where once she had paraded her devastatingly handsome billionaire about town, now Ana took his arm. At Grace's annual charity gala, it was Ana dancing in his arms. The Seattle Nooz was filled with pictures of Ana and Christian strolling about, eating dinner at the finest restaurants, laughing at society events, setting sail in his boat. In all the pictures, Ana was the stunning beauty that Christian could not stop admiring. His love for her practically jumped off the page. Everyone at Elena's salons talked endlessly about the golden couple.
"Did you know that she graduated two years early and summa cum laude as well?" marveled all the ladies.
"I heard that she is involved in a half a dozen charitable activities. Why, for Thanksgiving and Christmas, she spent half the day serving dinner to the homeless!"
"Yes. I've spoken with her at the library downtown where she reads to the children at story hour…which she instituted! She didn't even know me and I was in a sweat suit but it didn't matter to her. She was as sweet and friendly as a person could be," another society matron gushed.
"Just look at the two of them," sighed one woman, "they are really a dream couple but so nice that one can't be nasty about it. You know, my husband so admires their philanthropic endeavors. He laughs and says that Grey gives so much money away that he probably doesn't pay any taxes!"
He's giving away MY money! Elena screamed in her head. I made him the man he is today. I created Christian Grey. He was nothing but an angry, undisciplined little boy when I took him into my dungeon and made him a man!
Day and night she plotted her revenge…searching high and mostly low for a way to stop Ana. One day she found it.
CHAPTER 10
Being the queen of the BDSM underbelly of Seattle had its advantages. Elena's brand of BDSM was mostly BDS. Her dominatrix was so brutal that all the above ground clubs had banned her. She was able, nonetheless, to find willing subs…deeply damaged individuals who craved the depth of pain that Elena dealt out. She had used Christian's money to open her own club where the most depraved doms and subs could find their own kind. Watching on a Friday night, even Elena was surprised at the pain subs wanted and most of the doms she knew were not really into BDSM so much as they were simply psychopaths. Whatever. Her club gave them an outlet to beat and be beaten…legally.
It was one Friday night that she met her future accomplices in the abduction of Ana Grey. Her patrons did not realize that they were paying for membership in a world that Elena ruled. She had the means to blackmail every one of them. Aboveboard clubs wouldn't dare to use their patrons thusly. It would backfire on them. Elena's members, however, were at her mercy. Her first recruit was one of the most masochistic of women that she'd ever known. Her ability to handle pain seemed to have no limit. As long as the wounds didn't show, she was down for the severest of beatings. Her favorite dom was also the most brutal in the club. He never tired and the beatings he delivered were unrelenting. Had Elena given a damn about any of her patrons, she would have inquired into their personal lives…into what drove them. But she didn't know and she didn't care. She only knew that they were primed for extortion.
Dr. Greene was a ob/gyn at Seattle Memorial, the same hospital at which her friend, Grace Grey, practiced. Richard Peterson was the owner of the Peterson Funeral Home, the preferred establishment of the rich in Seattle. He had converted the largest and oldest of Victorian Mansions in Seattle into a funeral home. It's beauty was its drawing card.
After both members had thoroughly worn themselves out one night, Elena invited them to have a drink in her private office. After a brisk preliminary of chit-chat and assurances that they were valued patrons of her club, Elena wasted no time getting to the point.
"There is someone I wish gone," she began.
"Gone?" Greene and Peterson looked at her.
"Not dead. Just disappeared," Elena smiled. "And you are going to assist me in this."
Greene and Peterson shook their heads and laughed. "Don't be ridiculous, Elena. We are law-abiding citizens. We don't "disappear" people."
"You do if you wish your extra-curricular activities to remain private. In preparation for this meeting, I have been compiling a dossier on each of you, complete with videos of your play time here at my club. Cooperate with me or these dossiers end up on the desks of the Seattle Nooz."
Greene and Peterson gaped at her. "You wouldn't. It would also expose you."
"No. Of course, you could claim that I owned such a club and participated in these activities but I have taken precautions to protect myself. Nothing can be traced back to me and, of course, I would then sue you for defamation. Your careers and your lives would be in ruins once I was through with you.
"You see…I have had a lot of practice in getting what I want through nefarious means. I have risen to the highest levels of Seattle society using just my wits and my wickedness," she said, smiling maniacally. "I have no shame and it has served me well. Do my biding or kiss your cushy lives farewell."
Both pawns gulped. "What do you want us to do?" Dr. Greene asked.
Elena smiled. "Don't worry. You won't get caught and you won't go to jail. No one will even know that a crime has been committed if you are careful. You can carry on in your careers as respected pillars of the community."
She then explained what they were to do. She gave Dr. Greene a vial containing a substance she had had mixed up for her in Thailand. All Dr. Peterson had to do was look the other way when a body left his morgue in a black SUV.
CHAPTER 11
The girl slept for the next two days. Mary continually checked on her, concerned that she wasn't well. On day three, she finally opened her eyes. She looked blank for a time and didn't seem to see or hear Mary and Jeb. Then, a few hours later, she turned to look at them. She wasn't afraid but she was confused.
"Hello," she smiled. "Where am I?"
Following the instructions they'd been given by the girl's mother, they told her that she was home. They said that she'd been ill for some time but that she seemed to finally be coming around again.
"I don't remember being ill. What was wrong with me?"
"You had a fever. You got sick after you fell off the horse and hit your head. The bump went down but you stayed unconscious. You had us really worried, Bitty."
"Bitty?" the girl said. "My name is Bitty?"
"It's a nickname because you're so small," Mary smiled.
"Am I your daughter?" Ana asked.
For a beat, it was quiet. Then Jeb popped out with another lie. "No, we've sort of adopted you since we found you wandering along the road in the winter. You were very ill. We nursed you back to health thru the long winter months. We tried to find your people but to no avail. The sheriff will let us know if anyone ever comes forward. It's been a very long time. We kinda think of you as our daughter now."
"What do I call you then?" Bitty asked.
"I am Mary and this is my husband, Jeb. We own this little farm. You love it here. You are particularly good with the animals. Don't you remember us?"
Bitty looked at them. She felt bad that she didn't remember them. How could she have forgotten?
"How long have I lived with you?"
"Years now," said Mary. She felt guilty. Amish didn't lie so glibly but she remembered the woman's warning. She didn't want this sweet child to be put into an asylum. The Amish took care of their own but she'd heard terrible stories about insane asylums.
"Yes," Jeb reiterated. "Seems like you've been with us always. Say, are you hungry?"
"No, my stomach feels a little sick. I think that I'll just go back to sleep for a while if you don't mind," Bitty answered.
"No, of course not. However, you'd better take your medicine first," Mary cautioned.
"Medicine? Why do I take medicine?"
"The doctor recommended it…to keep you from having terrible headaches when you wake in the morning," Mary said. She returned from the kitchen with a bottle she'd mixed up and spooned some of the mixture into Bitty's mouth. It was sweet so Bitty didn't object. Thereafter, she fell straight to sleep.
Mary and Jeb went out to the living area which was a combination of kitchen, dining and their bedroom. They sat at the table and talked for a long time. What a strange few days it had been. They agreed that they didn't like lying to Bitty but there seemed no way around it. Already they felt a kinship with the little thing and they wanted to protect her. She didn't seem brain damaged which was odd. They should have asked the woman what was wrong with Bitty but it was too late now. In the morning, they'd have a chance to talk more with Bitty and perhaps that would clear things up some.
For now, there was nothing to be done but to get some sleep.
Bitty slept soundly although she had dreams. They weren't unpleasant dreams. There was a man…a very handsome man. She knew instinctively that he was kind and loving. He called to her. He reached out his arms to her. His name, she knew, was Christian.
When she woke with the light, she'd forgotten her dream and everything else.
CHAPTER 12
If Mary and Jeb had been doubtful of the woman's claims that her daughter was brain damaged, Bitty's state of mind the following day affirmed for them that the woman was correct. Bitty was wildly confused and angry…she was, in a word, unstable. She sat calmly down to eat and then threw her food. She followed Mary around as she hung out the laundry and then, with Mary's back turned, Bitty torn the clothes off the line and threw them to the ground. At times, she refused to come out of her room and at other times, she clung to either Jeb or Mary. Strangely, her mood seemed to even out as the day wore on. By evening, she was quiet but behaving normally. In the evenings, her prevailing mood was sadness. Sometimes, she cried.
Mary tried to talk with her but Bitty couldn't explain herself. She would sit by the fire, her hands on her stomach, weeping. Jeb worried that Bitty was in pain but she said no, she was not. She couldn't explain why she was holding her stomach. She just looked up at him and said, "gone".
As the evening wore on into night, she seemed to come alive. She spoke in clear sentences and was curious about her surroundings. She asked repeatedly why it was that she had no memories. Mary and Jeb explained that she had some trouble with her brain but they couldn't tell her what was wrong or what had happened to her.
It occurred to them that they should have asked the girl's mother a few more questions. They didn't even know how to contact her. What if something happened to Bitty? What if she needed her mother? They asked her once about her mother and she looked at them blankly. She could remember nothing.
One morning they awoke to Bitty's screams of terror. There was blood on her bed and it was coming out of her. Jeb decided that this was women's business so he left it to Mary who took some time before Bitty calmed down. Mary had never had to question her monthly menses. Watching her sisters go through it had been her instruction. How to explain to someone who had no point of reference that she would bleed for several days every month? How to explain cramps?
Bitty was terrified and had only this stranger's word that she was fine…that what was happening to her was natural…especially since Mary didn't really know much about the medical facts. She'd always just accepted it because her sisters did. Mary's menses had ceased a couple of years before and she had just accepted it without knowing much about menopause.
Rarely, and always in the evenings before bed, Bitty asked questions about the world and about her world. Mostly, however, she went about her way in silence. She found that she did have an affinity for the animals. She assisted at births, nursed through illnesses and became the de facto veterinarian for the farm. Sometimes, Mary and Jeb could hear her softly talking to the animals but they were never able to hear her words. Perhaps the words were gibberish but they meant something to the animals. Being with the cows, pigs, horses…all of the farm animals seemed to put Bitty at ease. Gradually, as the weeks and months passed, she settled and it seemed as if she had always lived there. She still woke confused and fearful but she began to calm earlier in the day. She didn't ask questions about her life anymore. She'd never asked about her mother and still didn't. Sometimes she would ride off on her horse and be gone for hours. Mary and Jeb learned to not worry. She would always return to the little farm and to them.
The anniversary of the first year, the strange woman returned as promised. Bitty was off riding and Mary and Jeb knew that she would be gone for quite some time.
"You never told us your name, ma'am. What shall we call you?" Jeb asked.
"It's best you don't know my identity. My husband is very clever, devious. I mustn't leave a trail. When I come here, I have many decoys to throw him off the scent. I have my car checked for devices that he could use to follow me. Right now he thinks that I am in Zurich. I must go to extensive lengths to keep him from finding Ana.
"I've brought your payment and a new supply of Ana's medicine. How is she?"
"She is well. Best in the evenings. She seems to have accepted that this is her home now and she no longer asks questions. She rarely speaks at all. We've wondered. What sort of brain damage is it that she suffers from?" asked Mary.
"She was well until she had a riding accident in her early teens. After that, she grew progressively worse until she came to be wild and crazy. We discovered that she had these terrible headaches that were driving her mad. The medicine helps but by the time we learned of it, the damage had been done. Now, all we can hope for is that she has stabilized.
"I would like to see her, to hug her, but once before, I tried to leave her at a lovely home with other children but she went berserk. She had to be sedated for days and it was a long time before she was even a bit well. Then my husband demanded that she be locked away. That was when I began looking for a better situation for her. Somehow I found you and I'm so pleased that everything is working out. I will never be able to thank you enough for all you're doing for her. I believe that you are actually saving her life."
"We would still feel better if we had some way to contact you if need be," Jeb pushed.
"I have tried to think of a way that would not endanger Ana but, alas… It's been a year and she is safe with you. I will sleep more easily tonight. Thank you."
The woman seemed warm and sincere. Again, as she rode away, hidden by the tinted windows, they couldn't hear her hyena-like laugh and see her joker-like grin.
CHAPTER 13
As Elena celebrated the anniversary of Ana's continued "death" with a glass of champagne as she rode along in the backseat of her Bentley, Christian celebrated the birthdays of his children. He struggled to concentrate on their laughter and their joy and to ignore the wrenching pain in his heart. Almost two years before, Ana had come to him with news that she knew he would not be happy to hear.
FLASHBACK
"Christian," she called through his study door. "May I come in?"
"Ana," he beamed, "you do not have to ask permission. You are never an interruption."
He pulled her onto his lap and looked into her ocean-blue orbs, one of his greatest pleasures. They had been together less than a year. Ana had recently turned 21 and they had celebrated with a month-long tour of Europe. He was already planning another trip of a lifetime for their anniversary. Ana had never been anywhere so he was going to take her everywhere, everywhere! They were going to have such a wonderful life together.
He pressed his lips to her soft mouth. "Did you miss me? I'll be done with my work soon and then we can have the whole evening together," he said. She could hear the love in his voice. Oh, gosh, he was going to be so angry.
"Christian, I got some news today," Ana said, drawing in a deep breath. Please let him take this well, she prayed.
"I went to see Dr. Greene because I missed a period. I was due for my annual exam anyway. She said that everything is fine. I'm fine." Pause. "We're fine."
Ana felt Christian stiffen. He gently lifted her off his lap, stood up and began to walk about the room. He was deadly silent. At least, she thought, he hasn't thrown anything yet.
"I know that we hadn't planned on starting our family so soon after our wedding. Dr. Greene said that the last depo injection may have been from a bad batch or it was more likely that the antibiotic I was given when I was sick interfered with the efficacy of the birth control. Whatever the reason, Christian, we are pregnant…with twins. I'm almost two months along. Christian?"
He was silent. She could feel the heat of his anger radiating from across the room. Oh, dear. She should have known that he wouldn't take this well. It was out of his control.
"She gave me a video disc of the ultrasound I had today. You can actually see the little blips that are our babies. Christian, please say something," she begged.
Instead, he turned swiftly, his face red. She wasn't afraid. He would never hurt her but he might destroy his study. He grabbed his jacket and fled. Ana sighed. She knew that he would end up at Esclava, his pedophile's beauty salon. For Ana, he had tried to avoid Elena but he had no friends and habit alone would take him to the woman who'd been controlling him for 12 years. It was no use Ana demanding that he stay away. She would just have to steel herself to deal with the fallout when he returned. He would return.
Ana hung her head. She had, of course, been shocked to learn about the babies but watching the twinkling little blips on the screen and hearing the whoosh of her children's heartbeats had been thrilling. She was only 21 and had wanted to be far advanced in her career before having kids but it was what it was. She was better at accepting reality than Christian who was only good at accepting reality that he controlled.
Even understanding her husband, still she felt abandoned and tearful. He had walked out on her.
How could she not be saddened by that? And he was going to that woman…that woman who meant only harm to Ana.
She fully expected that Elena's advice to Christian would be to demand that Ana terminate her pregnancy. Ana figured that she might as well just pack a bag right now.
CHAPTER 14
As Christian watched Theo and Ali jumping around inside the bouncy house with their Aunt Mia and Uncle Elliot, he imagined that he saw Ana with them. She would be with them, he knew, and she'd probably have cajoled him into joining them. His heart would have been filled with joy and love for his family so it would have been easy. But, now, he could do no more than sit on the patio stone steps and watch…a heavy leaden weight where his heart should be. His sensitive children had already, at the ages of five, begun to recognize their father's despair. He didn't want them to grow up with a parent so loaded down with pain and sadness.
Ana, Ana, he prayed, for he didn't believe in a deity that would take her away from him, please help me. Give me strength. My darling, give me something to give to our children. Five years and I'm not getting better, Ana. It seems that I only grow weaker every day. Taylor won't let me drive anymore. He's taken all the vehicle keys and he will leave only one bottle of Maker's Mark in my study. He watches me. I know that he is trying to figure out how I'll kill myself before I can do it. He reminds me frequently that our children need me.
Ana, I can't understand how they are better off with me as I am. Help me, Ana.
He thought back to Ana telling him that he would be a father. Like the fool that he often was before Ana came along to make sense of his life, he erupted with anger. Children had not been on his schedule. Ana was so sweet, so easy to live with that his need for control did not occur to him…but children! He knew, even as he stormed down the street, that he was wrong to leave her. She was pregnant! A very big deal for a woman and she needed his support. Why couldn't he give it to her? No, no! This was all a mistake. She was only 21…barely. How could they travel the world with babies…diapers…bottles…no sleep. It was impossible.
As Ana had predicted, he found himself in front of Esclava, Elena's salon. Elena would be in her office, going over the books. He walked by but then he turned around. He was so wound up that he couldn't think clearly. He knocked on the door. He was about to come to his senses when Elena appeared. When she opened the door, he would tell her that it was a mistake and he would leave. She invited him in. When they sat down, he would tell her that he couldn't stay. But he did.
Elena listened in horror although her face was impassive. She'd been searching for a way to get Ana out of Christian's life since the moment she'd first walked into the penthouse to find her sitting at his piano. How dare she? No one was permitted to touch his piano. Before she could order the new sub to get to her knees and pay Elena proper respect, Christian had sailed into the room and kissed the little wretch's head. Elena was dumbfounded.
"Elena, I wasn't expecting you. Did we have some business tonight?" he asked brightly.
Elena tried to speak but her words came out jumbled and squeaky. The sub stood up and reached out a hand to Elena in welcome. Elena just stared in shock. She didn't shake the hand of subs. They dropped to their knees in supplication to the great dame.
"Elena, this is my girlfriend, Ana. Ana, this is Elena Lincoln," Christian made polite introductions but he might as well have been introducing a rattlesnake to a butterfly. Ana knew Elena Lincoln, her boyfriend's abuser from the age of 15. She dropped her hand. The two women glared at each other. Elena's attempt to dom Ana failed just as Christian's dom failed. Ana was simply not affected by efforts at domination.
"Girlfriend, Christian? I don't understand. Where is your sub?"
"I don't have a sub and I won't be having a sub ever again, Elena."
"I don't understand. Not have a sub. Does your "girlfriend" have experience? Does she know how to fulfill your needs?" Elena was quite pale with shock and dismay. For one thing, she'd been selling Christian to her stable of subs for years without his knowledge. He was a major source of revenue for her.
"Anastasia is not a sub, Elena. She is my lover. Last weekend, I dismantled the Red Room."
Elena collapsed unto the couch. Ana could not help the smirk on her face. In her life, she had never despised someone as she despised this pedophile. Christian refused to share her belief that Elena had abused an under-aged boy and he continued to consider Elena to be a friend. The woman had seen to it that Christian believed her to be the only person who understood him….until Ana.
Even Elena could not see into his soul. Only Ana…and she came first now…before all others.
CHAPTER 15
As Christian told Elena that his wife was with child, with children, Elena concealed her immense chagrin. She had not yet thought of a way to separate him from the little dullard he'd married and now he would be even more tightly tied to Ana. She let out a long breath.
"Oh, Christian. I warned you against this marriage and you wouldn't listen. Now, you will be tied to her for life."
"Elena, I want to be tied to Ana for life. I've told you this. I love her. That will never change."
"And children? You, a father?"
"I know. I can't be a father. I'll ruin the children. I won't know what to do with them. They'll take Ana away from me. I'll be number two or three in her life. I need to be number one."
"Well, there is only one thing that you can do now. Order Ana to terminate the pregnancy."
"Order Ana? My wife does not take orders, Elena."
"Then suggest…strongly. Explain to her that you cannot be a father. You simply do not have it in you. Surely, she would not want to foist children on you when you are unprepared to father a houseplant. If she truly loves you, she'll understand and do what is best for you."
"I don't know. I need a drink."
Elena plied him with liquor for the next three hours. If he arrived home, barely able to walk and having been with Elena, demanding that Ana have an abortion…well, that ought to do it for that misbegotten union.
While he could still perambulate down the sidewalk, Elena sent him on his way. He would be drunk and unreasonable when next he saw Ana and she would walk out on him…proving to him that she did not love him. Elena went to bed that night feeling confident that she had turned things around for the better. She was sure that within the next few days he would be calling her for a new sub. Of course, he would have to rebuild his beautiful Red Room but he'd so enjoyed doing it the first time that this would give him a fresh start.
When a week had gone by, Elena called Christian. He didn't answer or return her call. She texted and he did not return her text. At both GEH and Escala her elevator codes no longer worked. Both her fury and her fear grew. With no other recourse, she stood at the guards station at Escala and demanded entry. She feigned deep concern for Mr. Grey's wellbeing…not her own. At last, she was allowed entry to the 20th floor of Escala.
As she stepped off the elevator, she was greeted, after a fashion, by Ana Grey. Mr. Grey was out of town and would not return for several days. A very important acquisition to be dealt with abroad.
"I suppose you're the reason that he hasn't responded to my calls or texts. My elevator code does not work any longer either. I suspect that is your doing in his absence. He will be most displeased when he returns to find that you've locked me out." Elena was enraged.
"This is my home as well as Christian's, Mrs. Lincoln. However, the change in codes was mutually agreed upon as are all our family decisions. People were just walking in as they pleased without even calling first. For privacy sake, we decided to keep the codes to ourselves.
"Now, unless there is something that I can do for you, you'll have to wait for my husband's return from his business trip. Please call first before coming by." Ana didn't even attempt a smile.
"Now you listen to me, you little tramp. I was in Christian's life and important to him long before you weaseled your way into his bed. You may have entrapped him with this unwanted pregnancy but in the end, he will return to me and you and your brats will be nothing more than albatrosses around his neck. He will return to his rightful position as the premier dominant of Seattle and I as his mentor and confidant.
"You'll get a monthly check and a mansion but you will mean nothing, nothing to him!" Elena screeched.
Before Elena could catch her breath, Ana backhanded her so hard that Elena's head swung around and she stumbled into the breakfast counter.
She put a hand to her stinging cheek and steadied herself. Then, her eyes lit with hate, she reared back and lashed out with her red claws, intending to slash Ana's face. Unfortunately for her, security was faster. Ryan stopped her arm in midair and whirled her around, dragging her to the elevator and tossing her inside. As the car descended, her screams echoed up the shaft.
CHAPTER 16
Elena was becoming increasingly desperate. She was missing the income from selling Grey to subs. He was so handsome, known to be generous with his subs and excellent as a dom…thus, women were willing to pay Elena a finder's fee for an introduction to the man himself. She also supplied the women with information about Grey's requirements in a sub. Blondes dyed their hair dark brown. Taller woman wore flats. Brown-eyed women wore blue contacts. Grey never questioned why all the women he interviewed were in agreement with his limits. When his contracts with them never went beyond three months, they were surprised since Mrs. Lincoln had told them that he was hoping to find a permanent sub with whom he could have a romantic relationship. Yet when, following her guidance, they declared their love, he refused to extend the contract.
Having lost that income, Elena counted even more on his monthly contributions to her endless salon renovations. However, due to Ana's influence, he'd begun to wonder why Elena's need for financial aid never ended. He wanted to see her books, the real ones. He wanted to see the contractors' cost overruns. He was reluctant to continue writing checks for $100,000 every month. Soon, she would have nothing but her income from the salons. This would not do. Yes, she made a good living from the salons but she depended on the other sources of revenue to hide away in her Cayman Island accounts for her retirement which she intended to be quite lavish.
She schemed night and day for ways to eliminate Ana. Slowly her plan came together. Through a source in Thailand, she learned of a toxin made of the venom from a pufferfish. This drug, tetrodotoxin, when combined with the venom of a marine toad and some other lessor drugs would produce a sedative effect that induced a death-like sleep. After securing the cooperation of a doctor and a funeral director, both frightened of exposure as BDSM practitioners, Elena's plan was ready to go. It was simple, really.
All Dr. Greene had to do was release the sedative into Ana's IV drip after she'd given birth and all Peterson had to do was embalm Ana and bury her. Viola! One dead wife and one billionaire in need of a friend. A nanny and a boarding school and life would return to normal.
The more that Elena went over her plan, the more she worried that Ana's death might so unhinge Christian that he'd kill himself. No, that wouldn't do. He wouldn't kill himself if his children needed him. Much as her stomach curdled at the thought of faking sweetness toward the little toads, Elena realized that she couldn't take the chance of losing influence over Christian.
What if, in his misguided intentions to be a good father in Ana's memory, he decided to cut Elena out of his life? Oh, my. So much could go wrong with this plan. Perhaps, she should wait to see how things went with Ana gone before she completely did away with her. Maybe she could keep Ana prisoner in her dungeon until she was sure how her plans would play out.
No, she needed her dungeon. Where else could she hide her? So many ideas came and went until one day when Elena read about a cult in the woods of Washington. It was devilishly difficult to escape from a cult, wasn't it? Of course, if Ana could convince the cult that she was quite rich and her husband would pay to get her back…. Then, after consulting with her poison expert, Elena found a substance that would keep Ana in a permanent fog, unable to remember a thing. Thus, she had a comatose woman loaded into her black SUV and transferred to a cult outside of Whiting, WA.
Yet, she was unhappily surprised to find that there was no cult…just a small farm run by an Amish couple. However, she quickly came up with an alternate story and it worked beautifully. All the way back to Seattle, she cackled to herself…congratulating herself over and over on her brilliance.
She arrived back in Seattle in time to find Christian a broken man in need of his dear friend and a shoulder to lean on. She still could not convince him, not yet anyway, to resume his BDSM practice but he wrote her all the fat checks she asked for without question. He was too numb to think and she was back in the money.
Oh, happy day!
As her long drive ended and her car pulled into her drive, Elena suddenly felt quite tired. It had been a long journey from Ana turning up in Grey's life to finally finding a way to do away with her. More than two years of torture and now she was gone. An empty grave and an Amish farm. Someday, perhaps Ana's return might be necessary. If not, her sleeping medication could be strengthened.
CHAPTER 17
The children had settled down for the night. They'd had a wonderful birthday. Christian was alone now. He wandered around the penthouse, closing his eyes and feeling Ana's spirit wandering with him. At his piano, he played sad melodies because he didn't have the strength to move his fingers fast enough to play anything light-hearted. He did play a love song that Ana loved but he only made it halfway through before his hands began to shake.
Again, he silently cried out to her to give him strength…to give him answers. How do I go on, Ana? I have a lifetime to live. How do I do it? As he'd held her cold hand that last hour, he'd promised her that he would live…for the children. He would be a father and a grandfather. Now he regretted that promise. It was too much to ask. Why had he thought that the pain would recede enough to make living doable? Five years and the torment had only intensified.
He shuffled off to his bedroom. He walked in and looked at the bed. He could almost see Ana lying there, waiting for him. Periodically, he would sprinkle her pillow with her perfume. He hadn't allowed Gail to wash her pillow for the first year after her death until Gail kindly pointed out that it no longer smelled like Ana. He could still make out her scent slightly in her closet although he may have been imagining it. He would grasp unto anything that would keep Ana alive for him.
He didn't mind going to sleep. He would imagine her. She would come to him. It was never a dream, something crazy and nonsensical as dreams can be. It would be, rather, a visitation. She would reach out to him, her arms extended, calling for him to come to her. It was the only time in all the minutes of his days and nights when his heart lightened just a little. He tried so hard to reach her but the closer she came, the more she faded away. When at last there was nothing but white mist, he would call to her…futilely. If he was lucky, he would sleep on until morning but mostly he'd awaken, struggle to remember every detail and cry for all he'd lost.
He told himself that these were just dreams, subconscious attempts to keep Ana in his life but they were so lucid, so strong that he found it difficult to not believe that Ana was trying to get to him.
.+.
He couldn't know, of course, that Bitty was having similar dreams. In her case, the dreams began as slender bits of nothing that she didn't remember. Only as the years went on did the dreams grow more intense and only in her third year at the farm did she begin to remember them clearly. The transparent figure became a man and then the man became solid. He was impossibly handsome but what affected her most was his face. It was sad beyond measure. Often he was crying and his arms strained to touch her. She, in turn, tried to reach him because he needed her so desperately. She didn't understand who he could be or why reaching her was so important to him but she couldn't stand to see him suffer so.
One night, as she watched him approach, she knew that his name was Christian. He already knew her name…not the one she went by now but the one from before…Ana. That morning, when Mary came in to wake her, she told her about the dreams and the man. There were tears in her eyes.
"Why are you crying if you don't know this man, Bitty?"
"Because he hurts so. I wish that I could help him."
"You have a good heart, Bitty. I don't know why you dream of this man but just smile at him. Maybe that's all he needs."
Mary was disturbed to see Bitty sad and she wondered about the dream. Could the man be someone known to Bitty from her life before the farm? She talked with Jeb about it but they decided to keep the dream to themselves. They could ask her mother about the man but something told them that she wasn't to be trusted. They had begun to be leery of her. She seemed wrong somehow and they felt more and more that they needed to protect Bitty from her.
CHAPTER 18
One day as Bitty tended to a sick calf in the barn, the sheriff came driving up the road. He had been by before but Mary and Jeb had concealed Bitty's presence from him, believing that it was safest for her to be unknown to outsiders. They were feeling differently now. They invited the sheriff in for a cup of coffee and a talk.
"So, the woman comes by once a year with money and a headache potion. She never asks to see Bitty. She stays only a short time and then gets back into a fancy car and goes. Is that about all?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's never more than that. The first couple of years she asked about Bitty's health and happiness but these last two she asked about her memory…whether Bitty ever said anything about her old life. She reminded us that we couldn't skip a dose of the headache medicine. Something about her attitude kinda bothered us. We can't quite put a finger on it but she didn't seem like a loving mother.
"We've even been thinking about coming into town to talk to you about it. Hoped that maybe you could look into missing persons or some such, ya know," Mary said, looking nervously at Jeb.
"If we're wrong, we could be getting Bitty into trouble. Maybe her father would find her and put her in that asylum. So, do you think that you could do a little investigating without giving her away?" Jeb asked.
"Well, folks, I know that I don't have any missing persons on my desk right now that match what you've told me but I'd like to take a picture of Bitty. It would certainly be a help. Would she let me take her picture, do ya think?" the sheriff wondered.
Jeb looked at Mary and she nodded so he got up and went out to get Bitty. He returned and told the sheriff to come out to the barn. Bitty didn't want to leave the calf but she didn't mind a picture. So, the three went out to the barn. The sheriff had never met Bitty and he was struck by her beauty. Her hair flowed down her back to her waist and her eyes were dazzling. She looked a mite tired after being up with the calf all night but she spoke her hello in a soft, friendly voice.
"Now, what do I have to do to have a picture taken?"
"Well, why don't you just stay down there with the calf and look up at me." He snapped a few shots with his phone just to be sure and then thanked her. She did look puzzled, however. Jeb had only asked if she'd pose but he didn't tell her why. Still, she was a simple girl and it was early in the day so she was foggy. She quickly forgot her curiosity.
"I'll take these back to town and check again. She's a quiet girl, isn't she?"
"Come by some evening and you'd be surprised," Mary smiled.
Then the sheriff was off down the road and Mary and Jeb hoped that they had done the right thing. In a couple of months, Bitty's mother would be by again and they were not looking forward to that visit. They had begun to fear, in fact, that Bitty's mother might be the problem. Perhaps, they considered, they ought to make plans to protect Bitty.
Meanwhile, the sheriff couldn't get Bitty out of his mind. The whole story was fantastical. Mary and Jeb were rather innocent, coming from an Amish background and avoiding the English world. The story that they'd heard from Bitty's mother was not one that he himself would have swallowed so easily as they did.
No, there was something strange here and he was going to root out the truth.
CHAPTER 19
Back in Whiting, the sheriff looked carefully through all his missing person posters, seeking someone who might even marginally resemble Bitty. There was no one. He'd certainly like to meet Bitty's mother but there was no way to know when she'd be by. He called around to all the neighboring towns to inquire about missing girls but there was no one. He drove down to the gas station at the edge of town to have a talk with Pete, the owner.
"Why hello, sheriff. What brings you by at this late hour?" Pete asked.
"Glad I caught you before you closed up, Pete. Do you recall any large black cars coming by in the spring? Would have been a real expensive automobile."
Pete laughed. "You want me to remember a fancy car coming by last year? You do know how old I am, don't ya? I can barely recall you coming by last week for a fill-up."
"Well, this car would be driven by a chauffeur with a woman in the back seat. 'Course, you might not be able to see her because the windows are tinted. I do think that you'd take note of the car, tho'. We don't see much besides trucks around here. Keep an eye out, would ya? End of April, early May. Take down the license and give me a call. 'preciate it, Pete."
"Sure thing, sheriff." Pete went back to close up for the evening and the sheriff headed on home. He had a suspicion that he wasn't gonna sleep well.
.+.
Elena parked her Bentley in front of Escala and sashayed past Charlie the guard without a look. She'd held a grudge against him since he'd first denied her entry all those years ago when Ana ruled the roost. Charlie thought that it was a shame that she'd talked poor Mr. Grey into giving her the elevator code again. His wife's death had knocked all the fight out of him. The only time he seemed to have any life in him was when he was with his children and Charlie suspected that summoning up some energy was real hard for Grey.
As Elena strolled off the elevator, it irked her once again that she was not greeted by a maid to ask her for her coat. It also irked her that the children were playing in the great room. She'd tried often to convince Christian to confine the children to their own playroom upstairs. She felt that it was unseemly to have toys littering the public rooms and to have the noise created by the children disturbing adult company. Christian, however, ignored her…or rather, didn't seem to hear her. He, in fact, seemed checked out most of the time.
Theo and Ali looked up from their Legos when the elevator pinged but the company was disappointing. They were hoping for Elliot or Mia. They didn't like Mrs. Lincoln. They thought that she was mean and ugly with her yellow hair and her black leather suits and her loud shoes. They clattered along on the marble floors and irritated their ears. She was also loud and bossy.
"Shouldn't you children be in your rooms? Your father is trying to work and all the noise you create must be disturbing him. Go along now."
"Elena, come into my office," Grey spoke from behind her. It bothered him when she presumed to lecture his and Ana's children but he never said anything to her in front of them. He wanted them to respect their elders. He could certainly see from the expressions on their faces that they abhorred Elena but he didn't want them sassing her either.
Elena took note that the children didn't move and simply went back to playing.
"Christian, your children are in need of strong discipline. You let them ignore my instructions."
"They are mine and Ana's children, Elena. You have no business instructing them on anything."
"I am an adult and they are children. Of course, they should obey me."
"I'd rather they didn't obey just anyone, Elena. That's how children get picked up by strangers. They know who they need to answer to and to whom they do not. Simply leave them be, Elena," Grey snarled. The woman really raised his hackles sometimes. He didn't know why he put up with her. He supposed it was just easier than dealing with her tantrums.
"Why are you here, Elena? I'm working and soon I'll be having dinner."
"You could invite me to stay for dinner, you know."
"If you can't tolerate my kids playing Legos, a meal with them would drive you mad," Grey smirked.
"Well, of course, I'd expect you to send the children to their rooms with their dinner. You don't actually eat with them, do you?" Elena looked genuinely astonished at the notion of children being present during an adult dinner.
"I enjoy my children's company, Elena."
"They're old enough now. They ought to be in a proper boarding school."
"Boarding school!? Elena, this isn't England and we aren't the royal family. Now enough about how I raise my kids. Why, again, are you here?"
"My salons are running low on funds. It has not been a good year. The Bravern Center salon is doing well, of course, because of its location but the other two are in need of an infusion of funds or I'll have to lay off some workers and I hate to put anyone out of a job…especially if things pick up again. My original salon is also in need of an facelift. It's beginning to look dated. You are my silent partner so…."
Grey knew that Elena was lying to him. However, he made $100,000 an hour and it was little enough to get her out of his hair. He quickly wrote a check. She took it without a thank you and then settled herself on his couch.
CHAPTER 20
After handing over a check, Grey had gone back to studying his spreadsheets. He looked up in surprise to find Elena still in the room, staring at him. Usually, she took her check, huffed in indignation at his lack of attention and then left. So, what did she want?
Grey looked up expectedly. When Elena felt that she had his full attention, she addressed the issue she had on her mind. It was five years. It was time.
"Your mother is quite worried about you, Christian. She feels that you have held Shiva long enough."
"Shiva, Elena? We aren't Jewish."
"Wake, mourning, whatever. You know what I mean. She wants you to come back to the world. She has several lovely women in mind for you to meet."
She watched with some trepidation as his clear gray eyes darkened and his brow furrowed.
"I do not appreciate you and my mother discussing my personal life during your Tuesday lunches, Elena," he growled.
"Grace worries and she has to have someone to talk with about these things."
"And I'm sure that you encourage her to share with you. Did you tell her that a nice young woman is not what you have in mind. I'm certain that if she knew that you want me to take on a new sub, she wouldn't be so inclined to discuss this with you. I suggest that next time you talk with my mother, you offer the opinion that me and my life are off limits."
"For god's sake, Christian. It has been five years. Most men don't wait two years before they find a new woman…especially men with small children."
"You think that I should get a new sub for my children's sake?" Christian asked, his tone heavy with sarcasm.
"No, I think you should hustle your children off to a good boarding school and let me deliver to you a new sub. I'm sure that resuming your BDSM practice would do you a world of good. Your wife has been dead a long time and to continue mourning her after all these years is ridiculous."
"GET OUT!" Elena flinched. She'd gone too far, she knew. He was angry enough to deny her the elevator code. She hastily rose from the couch and took her leave, hurrying to the elevator as the study door slammed behind her. Before the elevator doors closed, she caught a glimpse of the children grinning. Oh, how she loathed those insolent little devils. They were clearly Ana's spawn.
Riding down in the elevator, she reflected on her ace-in-the-hole. She had kept her handy all these years in the event that Grey ceased to cooperate. Perhaps it was time. She would collect her asset and bring her to Seattle. Where to hide her? How to go about offering her up for ransom? Elena had not thought it all the way through so that still needed doing. Her annual visit to the farm was upcoming in the next few months. It was time to collect her 'daughter' from those hillbillies. Holding her captive by proxy had worked brilliantly for five years but now it was time to cash in.
Of course, it would be even better if she could collect a few million without having to once again deal with Ana. This plan would require some serious thought. She was a shrewd woman, she knew. She could find a way to deprive Christian of several million dollars and his dopy little wife.
All she need do is concentrate and call on a few of her pathetic little doms and subs for any help that she needed. A simple matter really of picking up a ransom and delivering a dead spouse.
CHAPTER 21
Mary had just seen to Bitty's comfort as she tucked her in for the night. Bitty worked so hard from dawn to dusk that she fell easily to sleep.
As she walked back into the living area, Jeb looked up. His serious expression worried Mary. He indicated that she should sit at the table with him.
"Mary, I haven't been able to stop thinking about Bitty's mother coming to visit in the spring."
"Are you concerned, Jeb? She's never done more than hand us an envelope and make the smallest of inquiries about Bitty."
"That is true, Mary, but you have to admit that both of us have found her weirdly disturbing these past couple of visits."
Mary looked down at her entangled fingers. Her husband wasn't wrong. They were simple people but even so, they felt ill at ease with the strange woman. They couldn't pin down their reasoning but they somehow felt that Bitty was in danger.
"I would feel better if I understood more what was bothering us about the woman. All I know for certain is that as the time draws near, I find it harder to sleep. I'm afraid, Jeb. Why am I afraid?"
"I'm no more sure of my feelings than you, love, but I trust what both of us feel. So, I've come to a decision. You know that you and I have always been partners. We're not like the others back home where the man is in charge. From the beginning, we've depended on each other for the truth and the right way to go."
"Yes, Jeb. So, what decision have you made," Mary smiled. She knew that she would always go along with whatever Jeb wanted and he…her.
"I think that we have to protect Bitty from this woman this year. I want to hide her away."
"The woman won't stand for that, Jeb. I'm scared of her."
"I'm going to dig a grave out back next to Mr. Adams. We'll tell the woman that Bitty took sick. We'll have to do a real good job of lying, Mary. If we keep in mind that we're protecting Bitty, I think we can lie good. We'll have Bitty hide in the hayloft. There'll be no reason for the woman to think that we'd keep her from her daughter."
"What if she wants to dig up the grave and take her daughter home with her?"
Jeb looked troubled. He hadn't thought of that. He looked to Mary for her ideas.
"Dig the grave now. It will look old by the time that spring arrives. If the woman wants Bitty, we'll tell her that we buried her in a shroud and that she would be nothing now but bones. We can switch the markers with Mr. Adams. I don't think that she'd suspect anything of us and she'd probably not want to toss a pile of bones in the trunk, do you think?
"We buried Mr. Adams in a wooden box so we could open it and remove the suit he's wearing and put on one of Bitty's dresses."
"Mary, I'd no idea that I'd married a sweet girl who could think up such things," Jeb grinned at his adored wife.
"It's agreed, then. If she wants Bitty, we give her a jumble of bones in a dress. 'Tis handy that Mr. Adams, God rest him, was a small man."
Jeb and Mary reached for each other's hands and courage.
CHAPTER 22
Within a few days, the task was completed. It wasn't an easy job, opening a burial box. Mr. Adams had been gone quite some time and, as Jeb figured, there was nothing left but bones and a box wore down by time. Choking back their revulsion, they removed Mr. Adams' suit and dressed his bones in a dress. The hair was a problem since Mr. Adams hadn't any and Bitty had quite a lot. However, they figured that they could tell the woman that Bitty's illness had resulted in the loss of her hair. They reburied the box and put Mr. Adams' in the shroud and switched the grave markers. Then they waited and prayed that they'd not gone against the Lord and that he would protect Bitty.
Bitty was oblivious to all this. They dug up the graves after she'd gone to sleep. She would never question Mary and Jeb anyway…trusting them implicitly. Besides, most of the day she wandered in a fog.
.+.
In Whiting, the sheriff had not forgotten about the Amish and their story. Nor had he forgotten the beautiful and innocent girl they were looking after. He watched for any news whatsoever about a missing girl and was increasingly frustrated. Then one day, he wondered if he'd found her.
Early one morning, he made his way over to the Whiting Café for the best pancakes in the state. After taking his usual seat at the counter, he placed his order and waited while drinking his coffee.
"A couple of tourist came through last night, sheriff. They left one of them tabloids, the Seattle Nooz. Here, keep busy while you wait," the waitress offered. The last thing the sheriff wanted was to read one of them useless rags but he didn't want to insult the waitress so he picked up the paper and pretended to read.
There, above the fold on the front page, was a picture of Bitty…or, at least, someone who could be Bitty. He thought the text was worth a read.
Grey Twins Now Five Years Old
It seems hard to believe that the children of Ana and Christian Grey are now five years old. Theodore and Alexandra, by all accounts, are exceptionally bright and happy children. Their father is, sadly, another story. Christian Grey is never seen at social events…not even at his parent's annual charity gala. Sources tell the Nooz that he is a ghost of the man that he used to be since the death of his wife, Anastasia. She did not survive the birth of her twin babies.
The picture above the story was of a very handsome man and his beautiful wife. The sheriff was familiar with the famous Greys but he paid little attention to the news outside of Whiting and the surrounding area. This picture, however, bore such a stunning resemblance to Bitty. Also, the article said that Mrs. Grey had died five years ago and the Amish couple said that it was just around that time that Bitty came to live with them.
But why would she run away and leave her children? Perhaps she had no choice? The woman who claimed to be her mother said that Bitty had a severe head injury and that her father had wanted her to be put into an asylum.
He read further but there was no mention of Ana Grey's parents. According to the article, her husband was rather a recluse and still in mourning. What was going on?
The sheriff took the paper and left without his pancakes. He had an idea of a way to get some answers.
CHAPTER 23
"Daddy?" Theo saw his father spacing out again. What was he thinking about when he just stared into space? His expression was serene. "Daddy?" Ali patted her daddy's hand. With her touch, he snapped back to the here and now. He smiled at her. "Yes, dear?" he asked.
"You looked happy, daddy. What were you daydreaming about?" She asked.
It was rare that their daddy looked content, at peace. They were used to his dour visage which meant, they knew, that he was missing mommy. He'd been blue since their birthday but now he seemed happy.
"I was just reminiscing about your mother. So many good memories that make me smile. I ought to try harder to remember those instead of being unhappy that she isn't here."
"Tell us a story about mommy, please," Ali asked.
"Well, this isn't necessarily a happy story. It's just a story that shows what a good woman your mother was. I had a bad start in life. Everything got so much better when I was adopted by your grandparents but I was still an angry kid who got into a lot of trouble. Even when I grew up, I didn't think that I knew how to love anyone.
"Well, your mother proved me wrong. I was in love with her from the first moment I saw her. Took me a while to admit it to myself. I was just about the happiest guy in the world when I married your mom. I thought I had it all. Your mother was very young. I figured that maybe one day we'd have kids but I believed that it was a long way off…a long time to be just me and Ana. I wanted to show her the world and have her all to myself. Nature had other ideas, however.
"When Ana told me that she was going to have twins, I panicked. All I could see ahead for me was coming in third…not having all her attention…Ana being tired all the time. I was fearful and furious."
"You didn't want babies, daddy?" Ali's face was sad.
"No, I didn't. I didn't know how wonderful it would be, you see. I thought only of what I'd be losing…not all I'd be gaining. I behaved really badly and hurt your mother. She convinced me to go to her next appointment where the doctor did an ultrasound. There, for the first time, I saw the tiny blips that would be my children. I listened to your heartbeats and I fell in love.
"I didn't think that I could love your mother more than I already did but, for the first time in my life, I cried. And your mother didn't hold my bad behavior against me. She just loved me more for loving you. That's how she was. Her heart was gold and always forgiving. She never once brought up to me that I'd acted like such a louse and she never once said "I told you so".
"She just loved me." Suddenly, his face was sad again. His children climbed onto his lap and hugged him as he tried desperately to not cry.
The three of them sat quietly together for a long time. Christian thought some more about life with Ana, about love with Ana. What he loved most about sex with Ana was how much she wanted him. He'd been with a lot of women before Ana…subs who begged to be his and who cried when he terminated their contracts but still, before Ana, he'd never felt needed and wanted. And with her, he'd felt safe and cherished. He'd never have that again, he knew.
He then realized that his children had fallen asleep in his arms. He picked them up and carried them up to their room. They still wanted to sleep together like they had in Ana's womb. He tucked them in for a nap before dinner. Ana, he thought, would be so proud of her children and their devotion to each other. Would she be proud of him? he wondered. Would she want him to stop mourning her? How could he, especially when she came to him every night in his dreams?
He wanted to give his children everything but he knew that he could never give them another mother.
CHAPTER 24
"Seattle Police Department, how can I help you?"
"This is the sheriff up in Whiting, WA. I have a friend who works in homicide and I'd like to speak with him. Name of Detective Parks."
"Ah, yeah. Hang on while I switch you over to that department."
The sheriff and Parks had attended the academy many years before and had been good friends. The sheriff, however, was a born and bred small town boy who fantasized about being Andy Taylor of Mayberry while Parks was a city boy who wanted to be a big city detective. They still kept in touch now and again…mostly to go fishing.
"Detective Parks. To whom am I speaking? Dave? I am not going ice-fishing with you. It's cold and wet enough down here."
"Yeah, well, you wanted to live in that gray place. Have any interesting murders to solve lately?"
"You want to hear about the latest in gory goings-on, Dave?"
"Actually, do you know Christian Grey? Yeah, listen, this is gonna sound strange but…." Dave went on to tell Parks about the Amish couple, their isolated farm and the odd woman delivered into their care one day several years ago. Parks was skeptical but he thought it couldn't do any harm to connect the sheriff up with Grey's security chief. Let him take it from there.
.+.
"Taylor here. Parks? Yeah, I know him. He gave you my number? Okay, what did you want to talk about, sheriff? Uh huh…yeah, yeah. Whoa, that is wild. I don't think that that is possible. I saw her after she died. There's no mistaking that she was gone. Look, suppose I take a look at those photos you send to me and then I'll decide what's next. No, no. I appreciate you taking the time, sheriff."
What Taylor knew he wasn't going to do was relay the information to Grey. First things, first. He made some calls and then alerted Welch. Within a couple of hours, he had a head full of upsetting information. He had to talk to Gail.
That night he waited until they were in bed before he mentioned the phone call from the sheriff in Whiting, WA. Gail, like her husband, thought it was impossible. She too had seen Ana in her coffin. It was the worst moment of her life. It had taken her a long time to come to terms with it.
Even now, she sometimes saw Ana in her children and had to leave the room to cry alone. Watching Mr. Grey mourn…day in, day out…and knowing in her heart that it would ever be thus was almost too much to bear sometimes.
"He's going to send some pictures of this girl. They call her Bitty because she's so petite but, honey, her real name is," Taylor took a deep breath, "Ana."
Gail gasped. "There's more, baby. I tried and Welch tried to locate Dr. Greene and Peterson, the funeral home director. Gail, they're in the wind. If Welch can't find them…." Taylor stopped.
Gail put her hand to her mouth. "When will the pictures arrive?"
"Couple of days. We have to keep this to ourselves. Not a word even to Ryan. Can you do that?"
Gail nodded and began to cry. Jason held her tightly, wondering if he should have burdened her with this information but he needed to share everything with her. That was just the way it was with them.
CHAPTER 25
The days on the farm continued on as usual. It was a comfortable routine. Mary and Jeb figured that they'd done everything they could to protect Bitty. Out back there was a grave with her name on it. The sheriff had her pictures and they trusted him to do whatever he could. Bitty still woke up confused and foggy but after 5 years they knew how to handle that. Bitty herself never seemed to get used to the storm in her head but as the day went on, she felt better. By evening, life seemed clearer and she smiled and laughed. Sometimes, just before she fell to sleep when the medicine hadn't quite taken yet, she had strange feelings…out of place feelings…but they were soon gone. The medicine was powerful.
And she knew that she'd dream of Christian. Every night she tried to reach him, to touch him. She remembered Mary's advice…to just smile at him. So, she smiled and he smiled back at her. Her heart still broke for him anyway. Somehow she knew that he needed her so badly. Then he faded and she fell deeper into sleep. She always remembered him in the morning, tho, for the first few minutes before all her thoughts became scrambled again and the fog set in. After that, it was all she could do to make it through the simple chores of her day.
Her favorite tasks were feeding the animals first thing. She loved them and that seemed to help the emptiness she felt in her stomach. She could never explain or understand but something was just missing. The animals loved her in return which also helped.
After the animals were cared for, she would go out to the garden to help Mary with the weeding or the planting…depending on the season. Bitty loved being outside. The air was so clear and sweet and in growing season, she loved to see the tiny green shoots pop up from the ground. Sometimes, Jeb would show her how to work with hammer and nails. Once she built a floor! She wanted to put up barns in town but she wasn't a strong woman. Jeb could literally see her closing her eyes in weariness so he'd have to get her to rest before she got hurt.
Whatever she put her mind to, she tried her hardest and Mary and Jeb were so proud of her. They knew that if she had to leave one day, it would break their hearts even if it were for the best. They were getting on in years and worried about Bitty's care when they were gone.
Therefore, they couldn't help but hope that the sheriff would find her people. If he didn't, they'd determined that they would take Bitty back home with them. Their Amish community would take her in and them, too, they knew. Jeb's father would be long dead and his brothers would be thrilled to have them home. Truth was that they would have gone home years ago if not for Bitty.
She was the most important thing to ever happen to them…aside from finding each other.
CHAPTER 26
All they could do was stare at the photos. If this wasn't Ana, it was a woman identical to her. They decided that their next step should be a personal visit. It was certainly unwise to show the photos to Grey. No, they had to confirm their suspicions before they talked to Christian.
"Good morning, sir."
"Morning, Taylor. What's up?"
"Gail's sister is ill and Gail is nervous about it. She'd like to take a couple of days to go check on her. The rest of the team is in place and there are no active threats so, if you've no objection, I'd like to drive her myself. I will, of course, be available by phone at any time."
"No, no, Taylor. We'll be fine. We'll be spending all day at Grey Manor Sunday and busy with school and work on Monday. Please go, take Gail and don't worry about us. I hope that her sister is better."
"Thank you, sir. We'll leave early Sunday and Gail will leave dishes in the freezer for you and the children."
Gail was uncharacteristically quiet the rest of Saturday. He knew that she was trying to avoid screaming. Her fears and her hopes were agitating her. She was on the edge. All he could do was touch her frequently, to give her strength.
Taylor knew that he wouldn't sleep much Saturday night. He was too excited. He just kept looking at the photos and thinking about how Dr. Greene and Peterson had simply disappeared. He'd done some research as well and discovered that there are drugs that can make a person appear to be dead. He knew that he was getting his hopes up but he couldn't help it. If this was Ana, it would be a miracle. It would bring his boss back to life.
As he'd predicted, Taylor didn't sleep more than a couple of hours on Saturday night. He was running on adrenaline and Gail on nerves. They quietly got into the car at dawn and drove off to disappointment or euphoria. Neither could remember a more important day.
The drive seemed to take forever. Every time that a car in front of theirs was moving slowly, it took all of Taylor's professionalism to keep from slamming into it. He took chances with passing on curves and hills. Gail was fine with it. She was gripping her seatbelt with white fingers. She felt tears threatening to fall.
When the sign welcoming them to Whiting appeared on the horizon, their nerves were on a knife's edge. The sheriff was expecting them and understood how important this day was for them so he watched for them. As soon as their car appeared, he waved, got into his truck and headed for the farm.
It was still almost an hour's drive…so close. Gail leaned her head back against the headrest and took deep, long breaths. Taylor reached out a hand and grasped his wife's. Oh, please God. Remarkably, the hour to the farm didn't seem so long.
Mary and Jeb had heard them coming and were relieved to see the sheriff's truck. The imminent arrival of the mother's automobile had them on edge. This car would bring them answers.
"Good morning, folks. How are you today?" The sheriff spoke amiably with a smile.
"Well, it's a beautiful day but we're both pretty nervous."
The couple in the black SUV got out quickly and walked up to shake hands. "It is a pleasure to meet you," Gail said in a shaky voice. "I don't mean to rush you but this girl is like a daughter to me and I'm a quivering wreck. Oh, this is my husband, Jason. He's Mr. Grey's chief of security."
Taylor also reached out a hand. He was trembling. "Like my wife says, Ana is very important to us. I'm afraid that we've really gotten our hopes up."
"Then let's not waste any more time. Bitty is inside, making bread. She's always confused in the morning's, most of the day, in fact…kneading dough helps to calm her," Mary explained as she turned to lead her company into the house.
When they entered, Taylor and Gail clung to each other for strength. The girl was standing at the table. She looked up at the strangers. Her dazzling blue eyes nearly took them to their knees.
CHAPTER 27
Her head hurt and thoughts that made no sense swirled around and around in her mind. She wanted to continue kneading the bread but something about the strangers made her stop.
"Do I know you?" she asked. Her voice was soft and sweet. Her ocean blue eyes betrayed her bewilderment. She looked to Mary and Jeb for help. This discomfiting moment ramped up the crazy eddy in her brain.
Mary put her arm around Bitty's waist and Jeb wrapped his arm around her shoulder. They would protect her. She knew that she needn't fear anything from the two people in front of her. She tried to smile at them. They looked so distraught. The woman had tears running down her cheeks.
Finally, Taylor was able to choke out one word…"Ana". Bitty knew that Ana was her old name. She looked to Mary for guidance.
"Did these people know me from before, Mary?" Her head was pounding. The medicine wasn't working this morning.
"Yes, dear. This is Taylor and his wife, Gail. They came a long way to see you. Do you remember the pictures that the sheriff took of you last week?"
It was too early in the day. Bitty shook her head. Mary explained to their guests that Bitty's head would clear as the day turned to dusk but right now was a difficult time of day for her. Jeb invited their company to have a seat. Bitty went back to kneading the dough. Mary offered the guest cups of coffee. They accepted without taking their eyes off of Bitty.
Gail leaned into Jason, trying to cry quietly so as not to upset Ana. They eagerly drank their coffee just to keep from grabbing her.
"You say that she gets better as the day wears on?" Taylor asked quietly.
"Yes, you'll want to stay at least the afternoon, we hope," Jeb answered. "I'm sure that you have a lot of questions and Bitty might as well."
"Oh, yes, thank you," Gail beamed at them even as her cheeks grew ever more wet with tears.
"I fear that we're in a bit of shock. The photos you sent us gave us so much hope and yet also fear that we'd find only a girl who resembled Ana. To see her alive…to see her well after believing her to be dead for five years….Well, I don't know if you can understand our joy."
"We can only imagine, Mrs. Taylor. We're very happy for you. We were expecting Bitty's husband as well," Jeb said. Ana went right on kneading the bread, seeming unaware of the words being said.
"Christian has been deep in mourning for five years. He's a shadow of the man he used to be. To tell him what we'd discovered without checking in person would….well, I'm sure you understand that we had to be certain before we show our evidence."
"Mary and I have only had each other since we were 18. We had to leave our community so that we could be together. Yes, we certainly understand such deep longing. We both fear the day when one of us has to leave the other. It is a bond like no other," Jeb replied, smiling down at Mary.
Not taking their eyes off of Ana, Taylor and Gail peppered Mary and Jeb with questions…thanking them over and over for taking care of Ana.
"We'll make sure that Mr. Grey understands what you're giving up. I'm not sure that your feelings will be at the top of his thoughts when he sees Ana again. This is a man in love like nothing I've ever before seen. He tries hard for his children's sake to stay alive. Some days I have to keep an extra sharp eye on him. I won't let him drive anymore unless he has his kids with him."
"Oh, my. She must be his first love," Mary said.
"First, last, always and only. She is his heart and soul. She brought such warmth and light into his home. This miracle…well," he looked at Gail. "We'll have to work our way up to it slowly."
"My first loaf is done baking. Would everyone like some lunch? Mary, Jeb, you go on talking with the Taylors while I make our meal."
CHAPTER 28
Brunch at Grey Manor was lively with the children present. Otherwise, there would be little conversation. Christian's presence cast a pall over everything. His family certainly understood. They missed Ana and her children were just a reminder of what they'd lost. Still, they did everything in their power to make Sunday dinners a happy time for Theo and Ali.
"Hey, Ali," Mia piped up, "how would you like a makeover?" Christian's head snapped up.
"Mia, make sure that it's water soluble, okay? Gail is at her sister's and I don't want to deal with removing makeup."
"What about me?" Elliot said. "I want to play, too."
"That's okay, Uncle Elliot. I'll play with you," Theo laughed
As the children ran off to their respective playdates, Christian found himself all alone with his parents. It felt like a set up.
"Christian, you know that we loved Ana and we miss her every day. Yet, we can't help but see that you are lonely," Grace opened.
"I'm not lonely, Mom. I just miss Ana. I have the kids and that's all the company I'll ever need," Christian replied tersely.
"What your mother means to say, son, is that five years is long enough to miss someone. Don't you think that you ought to move on?"
"No, I don't…and I never will. I have no desire to love again. And, before you say it, I don't need companionship either."
"But, Christian, you're only 32 years old. That is too young to give up on love."
"Mother, I haven't given up on love. I had it in spades and nothing will ever compare. And, before you say it, I don't care if Ana would want me to love again. I'd give her anything but I can't give her that. She was my world and when she left, she blew that world to bits. I will be a good father but I will always be Ana's husband and widower. Please stop trying to change my mind. It hurts to even think about wanting someone else. I consider my day a success if I'm able to breathe my way through it. Pushing me to date, to find love again, serves only to remind me of all that I lost…as if I needed a reminder."
"We're only thinking of your happiness, Christian."
"I know, Mom, but happiness is no longer something I crave. If anything, I crave oblivion."
"Son, you're not thinking of…"
"Suicide, Dad? Yes, always. But I won't leave my children, so relax. I'm going to find Elliot and play with my son. And this discussion…no more, please."
With that, Christian excused himself. He was shaking. Talking about Ana as if she could ever be replaced wound barb wire around his barely beating heart…and tightened it.
He found Elliot and Theo playing Legos. Theo was making Elliot look like the five-year-old. He really had a gift for design. Christian supposed that his son got that from Ana, too.
In truth, almost every good thing he'd ever gotten came from Ana.
CHAPTER 28
Monday at dawn, Taylor and Gail had said their goodbyes and driven off down the road, following the sheriff back to Whiting. They were elated. Mary and Jeb were correct when they said that Ana was much improved in the evenings. She still didn't remember her life but she was lucid. They'd spent the evening talking about her life before Mary and Jeb. She was stunned to learn that she had a husband and two children. Mary and Jeb warned Taylor and Gail that come morning she would once again be barely coherent. Compared to her being alive, her memory was a small matter.
Taylor and Gail drove home carefully…unlike the trip in. They didn't want to take any chances that they wouldn't survive to tell Christian their news. He would be in his office and they didn't want to talk to him there. Thus, Gail called his PA, Andrea, and insisted that he be home for lunch. No, they said, they couldn't tell her why but it was vital that he meet them at the penthouse. Then they talked all the way home about Ana, what she said, how long her hair had gotten, everything, every detail.
"Did you notice, Jason? She doesn't look a day older. Must be that simple country living."
"Mary and Jeb took good care of her. Those dreams she has every night….I wonder if Grey dreams of her as well."
"Oh, Jason. He's going to be happy again and the children will have their mother and our long nightmare is over."
"Not completely. The description of her 'mother' sound familiar?
"Kidnapping is a federal crime, isn't it? Life and no parole? We have to keep this quiet until the DA has enough to convict. Gosh, I knew that she was an awful person but this is beyond the pale."
"Your phone is vibrating, Gail."
"Gail, what is this about my having to be home for lunch. Is one of the kids ill?"
"No. Jason and I have something to tell you and we thought it best that we talk at home."
"Gail, I have meetings all day. I can't leave."
"You listen to me, young man. You be home no later than noon or I'll be down there to drag you out. You hear me?"
"Geez, okay. I don't see why you can't just tell me over the phone or tonight."
"Christian Trevelyan Grey," Gail growled in a warning tone.
"All right, all right," he said as he rang off. He was baffled. Oh, lord. They weren't quitting, were they? What would he do without Taylor and Gail?
Taylor swooped into his garage parking space, kissed his wife and got out of the car. In the elevator, they were bouncing around with excitement like a couple of kids who really needed the bathroom. Their good luck held. Christian was home already, impatient and irritated.
"Boss, Gail and I didn't go to her sister's. We drove up north to a little town called Whiting and met up with the sheriff. He took us out to a farm and we took pictures."
"You want me to buy a farm?"
"No. 'Course a farm might be nice. Animals and fresh produce. Remember when you grew those tomatoes on the balcony, Gail? Where was I? Just look at the pictures, Christian."
They had taken too many to count. Christian swiped right, again and again. His eyes growing bigger with every swipe.
"What the hell is this, Taylor?
"It's Ana, sir. It's Ana."
Christian stood up and stepped back, dropping the phone like a piece of hot coal.
"How did you do this? Some kind of photo-shopping? What is the point of this?"
"It's a bit of a long story but the gist of it is that Ana is alive. Gail and I drove up to the farm where she's been living for five years with a nice Amish couple. We spent hours with her. Her memory is gone but she's definitely our Ana."
"She's gone, Taylor. I held her cold hand and I buried her in the family plot. I don't know who this is but she isn't Ana."
"There's a drug, sir, made from the puffer fish and the venom of the marine toad that can give someone the appearance of death. Her doctor resigned and disappeared one week after she declared Ana dead and Peterson, the funeral director, is also missing. Someone…and we think we know who…wanted to make it appear that Ana had died. We have a lot of questions but none about the identity of this young woman. This. Is. Ana."
Christian was extremely pale and shaky. He paced the room, tearing his hands through his hair. "You can't do this to me. Why are you doing this? I'm already hanging on by a thread."
Gail took Christian's hands and looked him in the eyes. "Her eyes are ocean blue and her smile is bright. She's Ana, Christian. We had to drive up ourselves and sit with her for hours. This woman is Ana. She even told me that something inside her was missing. She pats her tummy. Her subconsciously knows that her babies are no longer with her."
"Christian, we know that it's hard to get your hopes up. The drive up we were nervous wrecks. But it is her, sir. Now, do you want to go get your wife and bring her home?"
Christian's eyes were brimming with tears. "I couldn't take it if you were wrong, Taylor. I just couldn't take the disappointment."
"I've already called for Charlie Tango. She's on the roof. In a little more than an hour, we can be in Whiting. Oh, and I'll do the flying this time," Taylor grinned.
CHAPTER 29
Christian sat down at his desk and again swiped through all the images on their phones. On one, in particular, he stopped, staring.
"She's so beautiful, isn't she...this woman? But, her hair. It's so much longer than Ana's was."
"Christian, dear," Gail said soothingly, "it's been growing for five years. The Amish don't cut their hair. It is so lovely, flowing down her back. You should see the light from the fireplace dancing on it."
Christian stared for a long time until he quickly rose and walked off, locking himself in his bedroom. Gail looked at her husband sadly. Jason was staring after his boss in dismay.
"What is he doing, Gail? Why won't he believe us? I thought that he'd be jumping for joy."
"He's terrified, Jason. For five years, all he's done is mourn Ana and struggle to stay alive for his children. He trusts us…he does. But at the same time, he can't. If by some chance, we're wrong, it would kill him. It really would. I think he would throw himself out of the helicopter.
"He is desperate to keep from cracking and a mistake on our part would break him in two."
"We're not wrong, Gail. Shit, maybe we should have taken some blood and run a DNA test."
"No, we're not wrong and a DNA test would take a couple of weeks, even if we rush it…and how would we explain that we want to take blood from his children? Let's just give him some time. He has to calm down. I hate to think how high his blood pressure must be about now."
"Maybe we should have given Ana a phone. Maybe if he heard her voice."
"He would have thrown it against the wall in terror, Jason. It would be like a voice from the dead."
"Why didn't we think to take the camcorder, then?"
"Hmm…point to you, Jason Taylor," Gail smiled as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
.+.
Elena had gotten a bad vibe off Mary and Jeb during her last visit. They seemed cooler toward her. Perhaps she should have been warmer, asked questions about her "daughter". Or maybe it was just that she herself was getting nervous about all the time gone by. What if they grew suspicious about the headache medicine and decided to reduce the amount they gave to Ana each night? What if, heaven forfend, the stuff was losing its effectiveness? She was supposed to visit in late April or early May but it began to seem too far off. No, Elena decided, it was time to retrieve Ana…time to move her to a more secure location.
Elena had found a small house about an hour from Seattle. It sat alone at the edge of a farm that was no longer in use. There wasn't even a road to it. She had recruited two stooges from her club who believed that they were being given a chance to learn to be dominants. Both men had once been subs, pushed into it at a young age. It wasn't what they had wanted and, truthfully, what had been done to them was child abuse. They were now a muddle of fury and fear. Elena had convinced them that if they became dominants, they would become confident and strong. They also believed that Ana would be their willing sub.
Elena had been teaching them how to wield whips and chains and canes…how to tie ropes and handcuffs and cable ties. They believed that they were learning from a master and would one day be honored for their abilities.
They were pressuring Mrs. Lincoln to move forward…and Elena could see no reason to delay. One picture of Ana hanging from the ceiling and Christian would agree to any amount of money to get her back. Alas, he would get her back…just a little too dead.
CHAPTER 30
Christian didn't come out of his room for a long time. It was almost 4 p.m. when Gail and Taylor heard the door open. By that time, they were crawling out of their skins. Christian looked red-eyed and wan. He said simply, "Let's go," and headed for the elevator.
When they came off the elevator and unto the roof, he climbed into the pilot's seat of Charlie Tango. This worried Taylor but his determined demeanor brooked no argument. He entered the GPS locator into the helicopter's flight log and the bird lifted into the air. For an hour and a half, they flew without a word being exchanged.
"There, sir. See that small house with the barn? Set down in the field across the road," Taylor advised. Christian did so. He was so in control of his nerves that they felt barely a bump as Charlie landed. The sky was darkening but the noise of the rotors had alerted Mary and Jeb. It was the first time they'd ever seen a helicopter and they stared in wonder.
The group met in the road in front of the house. Taylor shook hands with Jeb and introduced his boss, Christian Grey. Mary and Jeb didn't know quite what to think of him. His face was impassive…not warm but not cold, either. They invited the group into the house. Christian wanted to scream for Ana but he could not. He had taken every bit of strength he had to freeze his emotions. He'd already convinced himself that this was a goose chase. Gail and Jason were just too eager to believe the impossible.
"Would anyone like a cup of coffee?" Mary offered.
"No, thank you. It's best that we get this over with so that we can get back home. My children will be wondering where we are. I don't want them to worry," Christian coolly remarked. He looked about the little house, noting a closed door and a double bed in the large living area.
"We love Bitty like our own and we only asked the sheriff for his help because we're concerned about her future wellbeing. She is quite an innocent little thing and we and this farm are all she's ever known. We were impressed by Gail and Taylor so we agreed to go ahead with this but…"
"But what?" Grey glared at them. "Do you wish to negotiate terms now?"
"Christian!" Gail exclaimed. She turned to Mary and Jeb. "I'm sorry for my boss's attitude. He's having a hard time believing. He thought he saw his wife dead and buried five years ago. He's trying to protect himself."
"You don't have to explain me to these grifters, Gail."
"Christian! That's enough! These people are good people. Perhaps," she remarked to Mary and Jeb, "we ought to forego conversation and questions until after Christian has seen Bitty."
"We have a couple of lambs who've been rejected by their mother so Bitty is out in the barn right now…feeding them bottles. Mr. Grey, just follow the stone path."
Mary and Jeb had their misgivings about Grey meeting Bitty. She was such a gentle creature and he seemed cold as ice and angry as a bull. They were afraid that he would scare her.
Christian whirled and exited the door, heading down the stone path. Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks. He heard someone singing softly. He felt his heart begin to jackhammer. He continued on slowly. As he entered the barn, he saw a soft lamp light at the far end of the building. His legs began to wobble. When he reached the last stall, he looked inside and down at the back of a woman sitting in the hay, rocking a lamb in her arms as she sang to it.
Her hair. He knew that hair and its shine as the lamp light reflected off of it. He leaned against a pole. Behind him, the others watched as he sank to his knees. He buried his face in his hands and bent over.
"Bitty, you have someone here to see you," Jeb called to her.
Bitty set down the lamb and the bottle and turned to Jeb. Then she saw the man crumpled before her. She observed him curiously before reaching out to lift his head. He took his hands from his face and gazed at her in awe. She burst into a big smile.
"Christian."
CHAPTER 31
He closed his eyes, afraid to open them and find that he'd imagined the face before him.
"Christian," Ana said again.
He looked up into the face, the undeniable sweet countenance of his beloved wife, Ana. He tried to speak but nothing came out. He reached out to hold her face in his hands, gently rubbing his thumbs over her cheeks. His heart felt as though it were about to burst out of his chest. How? How could this be?
"Ana. Are you real?" he asked, his voice trembling.
"Are you real?" she giggled. "I see you every night in my dreams and now here you are. How strange. Did Mary and Jeb find you? They knew that I was worried about you. Do you know me?"
Christian stilled for a moment. "Yes. I, too, dream of you every night. I know you very well, Ana, and no one knows me better than you do. Do you remember who I am to you?"
Now, Ana looked confused. He was just a dream but he was speaking as if they'd been real to each other.
"Who you are to me? I've seen you only in my dreams. You kept trying to reach out to me but we couldn't get to each other before you faded. You always looked so very sad. I wanted to help you."
"You did. Many years ago you came to me and saved me from a life of emptiness and pain. You are my angel. May I kiss you? Please?"
Ana had no memory of kissing but it seemed to mean so much to him so she closed her eyes and waited. He took her face in his hands and tenderly pressed his lips to hers. She smiled. It was nice. She closed her eyes again, leaning closer, and he kissed her again.
But then, he pulled her to him and began to sob. Had she kissed him the wrong way? Over his shoulder, she looked up at Mary and Jeb. They smiled at her as if to say that everything was all right.
Christian cried for a long time and held her tightly. She'd never been held before and the only affection she recalled was a soft touch from Mary or Jeb on occasion. This kind of holding was very different. Christian was holding her as if his very life depended upon it. Finally, he calmed down and leaned back so that he could just look at her.
"I can't believe this. I don't know how this is possible. My head is buzzing."
"Oh, my head does that, too…almost all day. It goes away at night, though. Would you mind if I finished feeding the lamb?" The little fellow was hungry and poking his nose at Ana.
"Let's give them some time alone," Gail suggested. They left Ana feeding the lamb and Christian just staring at her.
"You're sure she's okay with him?" Jeb frowned.
"She is the sun, the moon and all the world to him. He would die for her. She is quite safe with him. I think he understands that she doesn't remember him. He won't push her," Taylor assured Jeb.
With some reluctance, Jeb took Mary's hand and one last look at Bitty and Grey. The man certainly looked like a fellow deeply in love. Mary squeezed Jeb's hand and smiled up at him as they walked back down the path to the house. They would sit, drink coffee and talk for a long time with Gail and Taylor.
Gail and Taylor had had a big day, a very big day, indeed. They were completely worn out and raised no objection when Mary and Jeb offered their bed. They had a feeling that Bitty and Grey would not return to the house that night. Mary took Bitty's medicine out to the barn where she found the couple sleeping in the hay. Mary gently shook Bitty's shoulder and got her to take her medicine. Then she went back to the house. She and Jeb laid a pile of quilts in front of the fire and laid down to sleep. They were all talked out, too.
Tomorrow, there would be decisions to be made and big changes to accept. They had no idea how that would go. It was too much to think about and they were too tired.
CHAPTER 32
That night in the barn was the only good night of sleep in more than five years for Christian. He slept deep and dreamless, leaning against the wall with Ana in his arms. He didn't dream of Ana calling out to him or reaching for him before fading in a mist. When the light of dawn woke him, he was disoriented for several minutes. Why, he puzzled, was he sleeping next to a cow? Ana then began to mumble, the way she always had just before waking and it all rushed back to him.
He looked down at her, curled against him. How could she smell so sweet, lying in hay in a stall with a cow and a lamb? But she did. She had the scent of heaven, the fragrance of a meadow. The previous day and evening came crashing back to him…it wasn't a dream. It was all real. Ana was alive and his life was no longer a wreck on a rocky shore. His heart was at peace.
"Ana?" She opened her eyes but they were blank, unseeing. Again, he said her name but her expression changed to confusion and fear. She looked at him as if trying to understand but failing to do so. She carefully moved away from him as he, in turn, tried to keep her near. He needed to touch her. If she would only hold his hand.
"Ana? Do you know who I am?" his voice almost begging. The fear in her eyes was painful for him to see. Then he remembered that Mary and Jeb had said that she wasn't really lucid until evening.
"Ana, did you dream about me calling to you, wanting to touch you?" Ana seemed to think for a moment and then she nodded. Christian let out a ragged breath. He put out a hand, inviting her to touch him. She looked down at it and then quite carefully put her hand into his.
"You see. You looked for me and now I'm here. You don't have to be afraid of me. I mean you no harm. I love you, Ana, so much. I only want to take care of you, protect you. I've missed you so much…I've barely existed."
His touch was tender but strong. Where were Mary and Jeb? Why was she sleeping in the barn?
"Mary… Jeb? Don't hurt." He could see that Ana was having trouble speaking.
"I could never hurt the people who protected and loved you and brought you back to me."
There were clanging noises in Ana's head and her blood seemed to swirl madly inside her skull. She understood a word or two but much of what the man said made no sense. She needed to bake bread. It would be simple and take her to a peaceful place.
"Make bread," she said with a frantic tone to her voice. She stood up as Jeb walked into the barn. He understood from both of their expressions what was happening.
"Don't worry, Mr. Grey. As I told you, her mind is especially confused in the mornings. Come on in the house and wash up for breakfast. Bitty, you don't have to be afraid. This man is your husband and he loves you. Be patient. You'll feel better soon."
Bitty held her head as Jeb smoothed her hair and told her to go to the house. Christian started to follow but Jeb stopped him.
"Her mind is a whirl. She can't think straight right now. It is hard for her so we don't press her. She'll start to clear up around noon and feel more comfortable. Late afternoon she'll start to make some sense. You'll have to be patient as well."
"But we talked late into the night and she seemed fine," Christian protested.
"I'm sure that you have doctors who can help her, Mr. Grey. For now, take her as she is. Can you do that?"
"Yesterday, I was immersed in a hell that was eating me alive. Today…I'll take her any way I can have her."
"Good. Now come inside. We have a lot to talk about."
"Jeb? I'll never be able to repay you for caring for Ana. I'll never be able to thank you enough for giving her back to me. I'm so in love with that woman. There's never been anyone but her and I thought my life was finished. The pain grew every day and there was never any respite. I will be indebted to you for all our days."
"You don't owe me a thing but I know I can't convince you of that…just like me and Mary. I'd walk into hell for her. For that matter, I'd do the same for Bitty. We'll certainly miss her but now we won't have to worry about her having no one when we are gone.
CHAPTER 33
All day Christian watched Ana and followed her around like the calf trailing his mother. When she fed the lamb his bottle, he sat with her. When she kneaded the bread dough, he sat at the table and stared at her. It was as if he were trying to convince himself that she was real. Once in a while, she would look up at him, just for a moment, before she returned to her task. By noon she would smile at him, say his name. He would feel then as though his heart, cold and dead these past years, was beginning to beat once again.
Jeb and Mary took him aside in the afternoon, though it was with some difficulty that he could be pulled away from Ana.
"When you take Bitty home with you, you'll have to do it at night. Otherwise, she won't understand and she'll frighten. You have to be prepared to deal with that every day. When she came to us, we had to learn a great deal of patience. She wouldn't come out of her room and when she did, around noon, she'd cling to the walls as she made her way around this room. She didn't understand fire and we'd have to keep a close eye because she would try to touch it. Taking care of Bitty would be left mostly to Mary because I had to work outside. It was exhausting for her. In time, we learned how to deal with her during the day."
"Any suggestions," Gail asked, "besides having plenty of dough available."
"When she was most confused and scared, I would take her hands and sit on the floor with her. I would sing to her. It seemed to help settle the whirlwind in her mind. I would walk around the house with her and tell her the names of everything. It was months until we established a routine. Since then, she gets up on her own, dresses, comes out to sit. She sits for a couple of hours, watching me. Then I get out the dough and she begins to knead. She'll do that for a time before she starts to talk. A lot of what she says makes no sense and this is frustrating for her. She'll sometimes get angry with us because we don't understand her. It's as if she remembers and is trying to tell us but the crazy in her head makes it impossible. By mid-afternoon, she wants to leave the house and that is when she works outside or with the animals. By evening, she seems more at peace. A few times I asked her what she was feeling and she said that soon she'd be with him."
"Who is him?" Christian asked in a voice both angry and fearful.
"About the 100th time I asked, she said, "Christian". I, of course, didn't know who this was but the thought of him seemed pleasing to her. She's dreamt about you every night for the past three years. She described you only as the man who cries for her."
"She remembers me, in her subconscious. She remembers me," he said solemnly. Then he got up and went back to watching her. It was early yet but in a few hours, she would talk to him.
As the day turned to dusk, Ana headed to the barn.
"Help me brush down the horse?" Ana asked. Christian nodded eagerly. Hell, he'd brush down the pigs if she asked. She handed over a brush and showed him how to groom the horse. After a while, his arms felt every stroke. Ana had never been strong but now she could knead dough for hours and brush a horse taller than her without tiring. Furthermore, she glowed. Right there, watching her stand behind a horse as she combed its tail, Christian decided that as soon as possible, he'd buy a country house so that Ana could have her farm. If she never regained her memory, he wanted her to have a life that suited her.
After grooming the horse, Ana went into the stall with the lamb. She squealed with glee to see the ewe allowing her baby to nurse. Ana whirled around and impetuously hugged Christian around his neck. He seized the moment to envelope her in his arms, to nuzzle her shoulder, to smell her hair. He thought that he had perhaps seconds before she pushed him away but she continued to cling to him.
He kissed her neck, her cheek, her forehead and, then, her mouth. His kiss was urgent, warm and needy. When he finally broke away, he caught his breath and looked into her deep blue eyes.
"Should I have not done that, Ana?" he asked nervously.
"You are my husband," was her only answer. Overcome with joy, he picked her up and twirled her around and around until they fell down unto a hay bale. He was laughing.
"What makes you so happy?" Ana asked with true curiosity.
"I have my wife back. You know me. Oh, Ana, you don't know what it's been like for me since you…left."
"Why did I leave you? You seem very nice."
With great difficulty, because it was so painful to speak of, Christian told her about the day their children were born. It was, despite Gail's talk with her, the first time that Ana had heard of children. Her hands flew to her stomach.
"Babies gone," she murmured, as tears brimmed.
CHAPTER 34
For the next couple of hours, Christian told her about her children and about her "death" and how he mourned and could not stop but still tried mightily to be a good father.
"I asked myself often…what would Ana do? That was my guidance."
"What are their names?"
"We had talked a lot about that in the months before you gave birth. We agreed on the boy's name but argued about the girl's. I love your full name…Anastasia…but you think it's too long so you insist upon Ana. I still call you Anastasia sometimes, however. Finally, we settled on a long name that could be shortened.
"Our son's name is Theodore Raymond Grey, after my grandfather and your father. We call him Theo. Our daughter's name is Alexandra Grace Grey. Her middle name is after my mother. We call her Ali. So, Theo and Ali. They're beautiful and very bright."
Ana put her head down and seemed sad. Christian tilted her face up and looked into her tearful eyes. "What's wrong, Ana?"
"I am ugly and stupid. They won't like me."
"Ugly, stupid? Now, where did you get that idea? You are breathtakingly beautiful and the smartest woman I've ever known. And that isn't love talking. It's just fact and everyone who knows you says so."
"I'm not smart. I can't understand things until it's dark. And I'm not pretty. Look at me."
"I am. I can't stop. I've never been able to take my eyes off of you for more than a few minutes at a time since the day I met you. Your beauty simply stuns me. It took me a while to realize how bright you are because my brain just freezes in place when I look at you."
"What is 'love talking'?" Ana asked.
"It means that my heart is yours, Ana. All that I am, all that I have, is yours. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you in that auditorium at your graduation. You finished college in two years with a 4.0 grade point average. You graduated with highest honors, top of your class."
"I don't know what you speak of but… I can't think clear until the day is almost done and I don't know anything but this farm."
"You've been ill, Ana. We will see the best doctors and you'll get well. I'll show you your diploma. It hangs in my study next to your pictures. Your pictures are everywhere. The children know your face as well as they know mine. They ask for stories about you all the time."
Ana seemed dubious but she said nothing more. Christian told her how they met. He told her how hard he worked to make her fall in love with him. He told her about one of their fights.
"You always won the arguments, of course. Mostly because you were right but also because I would cave into anything because I can't stand it when you're angry with me. It seems to physically hurt my heart.
"Ana, in the morning you may not remember any of this. I know that and it isn't your fault. I always told you a dozen times a day how much I love you so that won't change for me. Later, when your head is clear, I'll tell you again that we're going to fly home in my helicopter. If you don't want to go, we'll wait until you're ready."
"No, I don't want to leave Mary and Jeb and the farm and the animals and the life I know here.
But I have children and a husband who need me to get back to them. I have to live the life I am supposed to live. Remind me that I said that. It will be very hard but it is what I have to do, I know that."
"I'm going to buy a place in the country, Ana. That was always our plan anyway. We'll have all the animals that you want. It will be good for the kids, too. You can teach them so much. Soon, it will be spring and you can plant a garden."
Ana's eyes opened wide. "You would do that for me?"
"For us, for all of us. I've worked so hard for many years…sometimes 20 hours a day. It's time I stepped back a ways. I'll have to keep my company going, of course, but I want to be with my family as much as possible."
"Tell me more stories, Christian," Ana begged. And so he did until she fell asleep in his arms. Mary tip-toed in to give Bitty her medicine but then she went right back to sleep in Christian's embrace.
CHAPTER 35
As the dawn shone pink through the stall window, Christian woke. He picked Ana up in his arms and carried her into the house and put her to bed. He knew that she would awaken soon and that he wouldn't sleep any more so he sat at the foot of the bed and just watched over her.
Jeb walked in quietly and smiled at Christian.
"It does my heart good to know that we didn't make a mistake asking the sheriff to find you. Bitty's welfare has been a source of desperate worry for almost a year. When the sheriff came by, we already had another plan in place to protect Bitty from the woman who says she's her mother."
"What was that?" Christian whispered.
"We were going to say that Bitty had died and show her the grave out back."
"If she shows up here, use that plan. We don't want her to know where Ana has gone. I'm going to give you a phone. I'll show you how to call me and the sheriff."
Jeb looked doubtful. The only phone he'd ever used was the landline at the store that he and Mary had stopped at on their way to freedom. He'd seen cell phones in Nevada and at properties along the way to Whiting but he doubted that he'd understand how to use one.
Christian pulled out his cell and it should have been no surprise that there was no service out in this isolated area. All right. They'd have to use Jeb's and Mary's original idea. Still, he feared for them.
"Jeb, excuse me for saying but you and Mary are getting on in years. Maybe you ought to think about retiring."
"What is "retiring"?" Jeb looked confused.
"I'm going to buy a farm on the outskirts of Seattle and I'll need a farm manager. Ana wants animals and a big garden. You and Mary need people around to watch out for you. I'll see to it that you have your own house and whatever else you want. The kids would love it and so would Ana. Would you think about it?"
"Whoa, that is quite an offer. You know, that woman gave us an envelope full of money each year but we only spent a few dollars of it. We were saving it for Bitty. In our village back home, no one had much money except my father. He didn't follow the proper Amish way. And father didn't want me to marry a poor girl like Mary. That's why we ran away. I think we both felt shame over our disobedience until the woman arrived with Bitty. She's kinda been our reason for leaving home. It's like if we hadn't left, there wouldn't be anyone here to care for her."
"The Lord works in mysterious ways, eh?" Christian smiled.
"Yeah, that's how we saw it. I don't know if we're ready but I'll tell your offer to Mary. She's been complaining about her eye sight lately. And we were used to having a community always watching out for everyone else. 'Course, that could be right hard, too. We've thought about going home but we've been going our own way for a real long time and we worried that we wouldn't be able to handle following rules again."
"Well, there you go. At our farm, you could carry on the way you always have but help would always be nearby. And it sounds like Mary needs glasses."
Ana began to mumble and stir. Christian put a hand on her shoulder and caressed her a bit.
"Ana? It's Christian. I'm right here, Ana. The man you dream about. Ana, don't be afraid."
Ana shot up in bed, grabbing hold of the headboard and staring wildly about her. She put a hand to her forehead and groaned. Christian remembered something Mary had said. He reached out and touched Ana and began singing softly to her. Ana mewled in fear. She held her head and cried but Christian just kept singing to her. He wondered why she seemed to have a headache. Wasn't the medicine supposed to protect her from morning pain like that? Maybe it was even worse without the medicine.
The longer he sang, the less Ana whimpered. Finally, she leaned over and against Christian's chest. Mary had come in and she and Jeb stared in surprise that Bitty wasn't behaving as she usually did first thing in the morning. Mary smiled up at Jeb and took his hand, leading him out of the room and closing the door behind them.
"Mary, darlin', Mr. Grey just made me an offer that I think we ought to talk over."
CHAPTER 36
Jeb explained Grey's proposal and watched as Mary's eyes grew bigger and bigger.
"Leave our home?"
"We've done it before when it was necessary, Mary. It's been on my mind for the last year. Mr. Grey is right. We aren't getting any younger and it's probably only by the grace of God that we've made it this far without being brought low by some illness or accident. We've been on our own for a very long time and had some close calls. We're so far from Whiting. Our only transportation is our old horse. I know that your eyes are weakening by the day. I can still feel the after effects of that fall off the ladder last year. This house is real old, needs a lot of work. I'm particularly worried about the roof.
"Mr. Grey is offering us a real good deal, Mary."
"It is a kind and generous offer, Jeb. But maybe we should just go back home. I'm kinda against taking charity, especially from strangers."
"Home might be a lot of strangers, too," Jeb pointed out. "We assume that they'd be happy to have us but we might not be as welcome as we think. They might take us in as a charitable act but they might look at our old bodies and feel burdened by people who abandoned them when it suited us and have now come home to be supported.
"Besides, Mr. Grey wants the farm for his wife but he doesn't know anything about farming. He wants someone to manage the farm so it wouldn't be charity. And, Mary, we wouldn't have to give up Bitty. Also, there'd be children. Young children."
Mary's eyes lit up and she smiled. "It'd almost be like having grandkids, wouldn't it now?"
That was the part of the bargain that sold them…Bitty and children. They smiled at each other with delight. Having such a blessing come to them after a life of struggle and having only each other…of course, they'd say yes.
They wrote a letter to Bitty's mother, telling her that they'd gone home. They wrote simply that Bitty was "out back" following a brief illness. They left all the money she'd given them over the years in the envelope with the letter.
In the bedroom, Christian was still holding Ana. She was quiet but he could feel her discomfort.
"Can you tell me what you're thinking, Ana? What pictures are in your mind?"
"A word…stay. Crazy pictures," she spoke slowly.
"Okay, it's all right. We'll just stay like this until you want to make bread. I love to hold you. I don't know if you can understand what I'm saying but I hope that you can feel it. I could lie here all day, just with you in my arms, kissing your head. I'm so glad that you'll let me. Maybe deep down inside of you there is a memory of lying with me. We never slept without being as close as possible."
Ana mumbled something unintelligible as if in reply but she seemed calm and that was enough for Christian. He pressed his lips to her head and marveled once again that Ana. Was. Alive. He'd never considered that his miserable life could take this turn. It was too much to ever imagine that Ana was still alive. Soon, his mind would turn to thoughts of anger and revenge but for now he was still in a blurry haze of happiness, his mind still striving to grasp that this is reality. Ana is real and in his arms.
For a few more hours, they slept. The dream that haunted him for all these years, Ana reaching for him and then fading into a mist, was no more. For Ana, it was the same. Christian didn't call for her. He didn't cry. Their dreams had come true. They'd reached each other.
When they woke, it was only mid-afternoon. Still, Ana was more lucid than usual. She turned her head to look up at Christian and then leaning on his chest, she kissed him. She had memories of kissing him although she didn't understand them as memories. It just occurred to her that they had kissed a lot.
When she kissed Christian, he immediately awoke and began kissing her back. The tender touch of their lips became inflamed and they opened their mouths to each other, passionately entangling tongues. Finally, breathless, they parted and looked at each other in wonderment. Yet it felt as natural as if it had always been this way. Matters might have progressed further had not Mary and Jeb knocked softly on the door.
CHAPTER 37
"Bitty, your bread dough is ready to be kneaded," Mary called out.
"If you'd rather stay in your room, with Christian, that's okay," Jeb finished.
Then their footsteps faded away into the kitchen.
"Ana, don't go. Stay with me. You have plenty of bread and we have so much to talk about."
"My head isn't clear, yet," Ana said apologetically.
"I just have one question, love. Tell me, do you want to come home with me?"
Christian held his breath. She's right. It's too early to talk sense with her. Ana regarded him for a long time.
"I have children and a husband," was her answer.
"Yes, but do you want to leave here and come with me? I'd never make you do anything you don't want to do."
Ana didn't answer. She just turned to go to the kitchen where she settled in kneading dough. Christian took his place across from her and simply watched. Jeb came over and sat down next to Grey. He cleared his throat.
"Uh, Mr. Grey, I talked it over with Mary and we're in agreement that we like your offer, that is if it still stands."
"Huh?" Grey was lost in a world of Ana.
"The offer to come home with you?" Jeb said. "Oh, that's all right. I won't hold you to it."
"Hold me," Grey whispered. "Say, that reminds me. What did you and Mary decide about my offer to be my farm managers?"
Jeb looked quizzically at Grey and then Ana. He smiled, thinking Grey would come back to his senses about the same time that Ana did.
Sometime later, he asked Ana to help him in the barn and he asked Mary to keep Christian occupied for a while.
"Bitty, sit down on this hay bale with me for a minute. I have something important to talk about with you." Jeb cleared his throat and then got right to the point.
"Your husband has invited me and Mary to stay in Seattle with you. He's going to buy a farm and he'll need a manager. We'll have our own house, too. So, now, what do you think of that, eh?"
The sun was low in the sky and Bitty's head was clearing. "He'll do that? Why?"
"I'm guessing that he wants the farm for you and he wants me and Mary to be nearby to help out with the kids and with you if you never get your memories back."
"Do you want to leave the farm, Jeb? It's been your whole life for over 40 years."
"We're getting older, Bitty, and it's time that Mary and I settled down someplace safe with people we love…like you, Bitty. We don't want to lose you and we'd love to play grandparents with your children. But we won't go unless it's okay with you."
At this moment, Mary had run out of ways to distract Christian and he'd come out to the barn, looking for Ana. When she saw him, she leapt up and threw herself into his arms.
"We don't have much so we'll all fit into the helicopter for sure. Thank you, Christian for giving me everything I want. I want the life I should have been living all these years and I want Mary and Jeb."
She turned to Jeb and beaming, said, "Let's get packin. It will be dark soon." She looked up into Christian's bright gray eyes and said, "Thank you, husband." Then she turned to race to the house…but stopped. "What about the animals, Jeb? I don't think that that flying machine will be big enough. Dolly is due in about a month."
Christian kissed her soundly. "I'll talk to the sheriff. We'll make some arrangements. Jeb, do you and Mary want to sell the place?"
"No, left untended, the whole place will soon turn to dust. It hurts to leave this home…just like it hurt to leave our first home. But that worked out as God intended and, although we'll have to start all over again, we'll have help this time and we'll forget this farm. Mary and I would like to be with Bitty. She's been like a daughter to us.
"Yes, Mr. Grey, your offer is a damn fine one and we'd be fools to turn it down. We can be packed in half an hour. I can't tell you how grateful and relieved I am that we won't be losing Bitty."
"Don't fret about gratitude. You've taken care of and returned my Ana to me and my family. It is I who am overwhelmed with a sense of obligation."
They left the animals enough food and water for a few days on their own. If the sheriff didn't know of anyone who'd like to have the farm, Grey would send one of his security team. His head was whirling. So much had happened in just two days. His whole world had turned upside down again and this time it was for the good.
CHAPTER 38
With Taylor at the controls and Jeb next to him, Ana sat behind in between Christian and Mary, clutching their hands and hyperventilating. Neither Jeb nor Mary were comfortable with their first flying experience but Mary was distracted by Bitty's fear and Jeb felt that he needed to be brave for his family. Gail preferred to sit in the back as though that place was safer. Christian took Ana's hand and threw his arm around her shoulder, pulling her tight against him, murmuring encouraging words while Ana held Mary's left hand in her lap, squeezing it until Mary had to let go or lose a finger. She figured that Bitty was more than comforted in the arms of her husband.
They set down in Whiting just long enough to consult with the sheriff. Grey's good fortune continued as the sheriff knew of a young man who wanted his own farm. The acreage was small but a good start. The fellow didn't mind the primitive nature of the farm house. For now, it would do. The new owner was warned about the approaching arrival of the woman in the black car and what he was supposed to say when she made inquiries. The words…life and death…made an impression.
As Taylor piloted Charlie Tango over the countryside and into Seattle, looking out the windows at the lights and the world far below was both terrifying and exhilarating for the simple trio. The earth looked so big, so…so overwhelmed with people and their buildings. Mary was torn between revulsion and interest. She leaned forward and put her arms around her husband's neck. He immediately put his hands on her arms. He kissed her arms as if to tell her that they would be all right….like always. They had started off on a long road alone and so very young. So many times they were stymied, unsure of what to do next and yet they held to each other, protected each other and never once cast blame. It had never occurred to them. They'd always moved forward, together, and they'd found a life, a good life. As he stroked her arm, it was as if he were saying that this next change would also lead to a good life.
"Okay, everyone, all those lights we see below are Seattle. Do you see the tall building with the word Escala in lights? That is my apartment building. It's where Gail and Taylor live with me and my children. We're going to land on the roof and then take an elevator down one flight to my penthouse. Ana, sweetheart, I know you're scared but you've done this a hundred times. This is your home. We'll all stay here until I can settle on a farm. Jeb, Mary…are you okay?
"Don't you worry none about us, son. We lived in Las Vegas for several months. We didn't like it but we handled it. I worked construction and Mary cleaned in hotels. That was quite the experience for a couple of kids from an Amish village. We'll be fine, won't we, Mary?
Mary smiled. "Jeb's right. We've seen plenty and we'll be fine. You just take care of Bitty."
Christian gazed at Ana, still in wonder, and promised that he'd protect her with his life. Ana looked up at him, her eyes big and blue. She had to trust him. It was all that she could do. And she knew that Mary and Jeb would never turn her wellbeing over to someone they didn't trust. She just didn't want to let anyone down.
Taylor set Charlie Tango down on the roof so expertly that they didn't even feel the landing. He notified control that they'd arrived and then shut down the engines. He warned everyone that it was windy and they should hold on to each other. Mary and Jeb disembarked first. Then Christian picked Ana up in his arms to carry her to the elevator. Taylor put a strong arm around Gail. To him, she was just a delicate creature who needed his protection always and she never let on that this wasn't entirely true.
Christian refused to put Ana down so she smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder. She understood that he was still afraid and she was having feelings that she did not understand. She just felt some urge to be close to him.
When the elevator doors opened, there was a gasp. Their little house could fit in the foyer.
"How big is this place?" Jeb said, whistling in amazement.
"Around 10,000 square feet between the two floors. Gail is our housekeeper and Taylor will be arranging extra security. We have a library, a media room for watching TV and movies. There is a swimming pool downstairs.
"Look, I know that it's all a bit much…would be for any one much less someone who has lived in a tiny farmhouse…but it won't be forever. I'm going to get moving on finding a house and land first thing in the morning. There's a lot of things here that you aren't used to…running water, flushing toilets, showers and bathtubs…please try to be patient."
"I remember running water and toilets in Las Vegas. I like them. I didn't mind the lack of them when we moved to the farm because it's what I'd grown up with back home but not having to carry heavy buckets of water in from the well several times a day….well, I think I can adjust," Mary laughed.
Christian breathed a sigh of relief. He looked at Ana who had no experience other than the farm. Her eyes were wide and searching.
"What are running water and toilets?"
"Well," Mary explained, "the water is piped into the house and you just turn a handle and it comes out of the pipe." Ana was stunned. Then Mary went on to explain toilets and Ana put her hands over her mouth. "Your outhouse is inside the house? How do you stand the odor?"
"There isn't any, Ana," Christian tried to reassure her. "All the, hmm, waste is flushed down through the hole and it's gone."
"What does it go?"
"Through a lot of different pipes until it reaches the waste treatment plant where all the waste if removed and the water is cleaned."
Ana had more and more questions about how this system worked and Christian felt a headache coming on. He'd tried to anticipate everything that would be new to Ana…an impossible task. Ana was going to keep asking questions until his brain exploded. No bother. She was home.
Theo and Ali were staying with Uncle Elliot and his fiancée, Aunt Kate. Christian didn't know Kate well but he remembered that she and Ana had been good friends. Kate was, in fact, quite protective of her friend and did not trust Christian. Of course, after he became a desperately grieving widower, her attitude toward him changed quite a bit.
CHAPTER 39
Jeb and Mary were tired as they'd worked all day while Bitty slept. She was also quite a bit younger and jumpy with energy. She was running all over the house, asking questions. Gail showed Jeb and Mary to a guestroom upstairs. They were in awe at their sumptuous accommodations. Gail offered to wash their clothes but Mary wanted to see the washing machine so it was decided that everything could wait until morning. Jeb and Mary were asleep almost as their heads hit the pillow.
It was not quite eight p.m. Usually Ana would go to sleep when Jeb and Mary did but she was too wound up. She dragged Christian all around the penthouse, asking questions. He was so delighted with her company that he happily went along. He felt giddy being with her.
The two were eating ice cream smoothies at the breakfast bar when the elevator pinged. It was late. Who could be dropping by at this hour? Christian had not planned on introducing anyone to Ana so soon. It was probably Mia, exhausted from a day of shopping and lunching.
When Elena strutted into the room as if she owned the place, the first words out of her mouth were to criticize the flower arrangement in the foyer. Then she looked up to see a girl she thought strange sitting with Christian. The girl was dressed oddly…a t-shirt and overalls with hair hanging below the stool seat. What the devil had Christian done? Gone out and found himself a….then it set in…an understanding.
Elena passed out right there on the floor, cracking her head on the marble. Christian simply stared at her, uninterested and unconcerned. Ana was shocked and rushed to Elena's side.
As Elena began to moan, Christian took Ana's arm rather forcibly and escorted her to their bedroom. He ordered her to stay put and make no noise.
When he'd returned to the great room, Elena was just coming to and trying to sit up. Christian helped her to her feet and settled her on a couch.
"What was that all about, Elena? Do you need a drink? I'd never thought the day would come when I would see you swooning," he chuckled.
"Who was that, the girl with you?" Elena demanded.
"I have no company, Elena. You're imagining things. What are you doing here this time of night…without calling first."
"I saw her. And there are two glasses on the counter."
"Yeah, Gail and I were having smoothies."
"No. It wasn't Gail. It was…" she stopped. No, it couldn't be. He must have found a look-alike somehow.
"If you wanted a new sub, you have only to ask me. Where did you find this girl?" She spoke angrily.
"I don't want a sub as you are well aware. I no longer have a playroom. I have two children. Now, I'm quite tired. It was a long day. If you don't have any business to discuss…urgent business…I'd appreciate it if you left."
"I saw her, Christian. It wasn't my imagination. Who are you trying to hide?" Elena's temper was growing. Her impatience with his refusal to confide in her was infuriating. The girl looked like…no, it was impossible. She hadn't seen her in more than five years but she could never forget that trollop's face. Still, no. It was crazy.
Gail walked over to the counter and took a sip of the smoothie, set it down and went back to her work.
Christian helped Elena to her feet and over to the elevator. As he deposited her into the cab, he politely asked her to call first. He didn't like having people just dropping by, especially late at night.
Elena stood in the car, staring at his impassive expression, and feeling completely befuddled. It was partially hitting the marble floor but it was mostly seeing a ghost.
CHAPTER 41
As the car descended, Elena pushed the code for the 20th floor again. When she strode out of the foyer, she found Gail and Christian slurping smoothies and laughing about…something. They turned to look at her in surprise. Elena returned to the car and pushed the button for the lobby. Gail and Christian smiled at each other.
Then he winked at Gail and took his smoothie back to his bedroom where he found Ana transfixed by the sights from the balcony.
"Do you want the rest of this?" he asked but she didn't hear him. She was gobsmacked by the lights of Seattle. She tried to ask a question but didn't know what to say. This, after all, was a woman who'd never before seen a single light bulb…much less millions.
Christian put his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. He didn't know what to say to her about all this. He tried to imagine it from her point of view. Empathy, however, was escaping him at the moment. So…they stood together and stared. Ana at Seattle and Christian at Ana.
He was afraid that if he stopped touching her, she'd dissolve into a white mist, like in his dreams. The past couple of days were still dreamlike to him. She wasn't dead. She hadn't died all those years ago. Someone had taken her from him, casting him into a pit of darkest despair with no hope of ever emerging into the light. Why? Who could hate him that much? Who could hate Ana? He was beginning again to feel a hint of the rage that would overwhelm him soon. He wanted to float along in the beautiful, soothing cloud that was being with Ana but he knew that she was in danger and that whomever wished to harm her was in terrible danger from him. For a time, he could enjoy this miracle but all too soon, he would have to confront reality again.
"Christian? Is it real?" Ana asked softly.
"What, sweetheart? The lights, the city?"
"That, too, but I meant everything. I feel dazed like I'm imagining everything since that night in the barn when I turned to see you."
"I know what you mean but, yes, it's all real. For five years, I've been in hell. Every day seemed like the last I could take. The immense struggle to keep going…." He rubbed his eyes. "I had to keep going…for the children. It grew more and more painful every day."
"Because it was so hard to be mother and father to the children?" Ana asked.
"No, Ana, because I missed you so badly. I felt completely alone my whole life. My parents tried so hard to give me the love I needed but I didn't know how to accept it. It seemed like nothing could get through to me. There were women but they meant nothing. I truly didn't expect anyone to ever mean anything to me.
"Until that day I looked into your eyes and I fell and kept falling. I didn't understand it. I didn't know what was so special about you…just that you existed and that I had been waiting for you. I spent the next two years dizzy for you. Never a doubt. No hesitation. Not a question in my mind. And happy! Right up to that horrifying, unreal moment in the hospital corridor when your doctor told me that your heart had stopped."
Ana studied his handsome, troubled, tear-stained face, listening perplexed as he tried to convey to her his love and his anguish. She still did not fully grasp what it meant that he was her husband. He was, yes, but… What could she do for him? It was clear that he needed peace. How could she give it to him?
"You are still sad, it seems…and troubled. I am your wife. I want to help you. Can you tell me what I can do?"
She didn't love him…he knew this. He was a stranger to her. He couldn't ask her for all he really wanted.
"I'm immensely tired. I need to sleep but I've never slept well without you by my side. Would you sleep with me?"
Ana nodded. She took his hand and led him to the bed. While he watched, she undid the clips that held up her coveralls and let them fall to the floor. Underneath, she wore bloomer-like underwear and a t-shirt. She crawled unto the bed and under the covers.
Following her lead, Christian stripped down to his boxers and his undershirt and then crawled in beside her. He put his arm around her shoulder and she curled against him. Within seconds, her breathing was easy and even. He, however, didn't want to waste a minute of awareness. He tried to stay awake to feel her with him.
For the first time in more than five years, he was holding his wife as they slept together in their bed. He didn't even try to stop the tears.
"Ana? Ana, I love you."
CHAPTER 41
Elena couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Ana slurping smoothies with Christian at the breakfast counter and then Ana would morph into the housekeeper. They were equally drab so it was possible that her eyes fooled her. The possibility of Ana being home with Christian was…well…impossible. The girl sitting next to Christian was half-hidden behind him and so, Elena told herself, she hadn't really gotten a clear look. And when she double-checked, there was the housekeeper.
More likely, Christian had found himself another petite brunette and didn't want to be questioned about it by Elena. Well, if he thought that he could hide a sub from her, he was very wrong.
Elena retrieved the ransom letter she'd written and went over every word of it. It was good, she grinned. His latest little sub would soon be out on her tushie. She would send the letter via courier and then drop by again to see what condition Christian was in after that bomb. At first, of course, he wouldn't believe it. But then, Ana's wedding ring would be delivered. The slim chance that the letter could be true…well, he'd have to take it. She'd have him wire $50 million into an account in Switzerland, rock-solid and untraceable to her and then she'd tell him to contact the sheriff in Whiting for directions to Jeb and Mary's farm. By then, Elena would have seen to Ana being over dosed and she would be a pile of dirt marked by a cross and Christian would have to deal with her death all over again.
This time, he might not recover. That would fix him for betraying her. As soon as she was in the clear, she would sell her salons, tell that simpering mother of his that she needed to get away, and off she'd go to a non-extradition country.
.+.
Christian stood in the rain, watching Ana's coffin being lowered into the ground. She'd be buried deep below forever. He'd never be able to touch her again or hear her voice or see her smile. He shot up in bed, his heart clenching in terrible fear. It took several seconds for him to realize that he was awake. Ana was sleeping just a few inches away. She'd simply rolled over and it was enough for him to miss her. He was shaking badly. He rolled over unto his side with her back to him, pulling her as close as possible, clasping her to him. He struggled to catch his breath, his face buried in her shoulder.
He couldn't recall ever taking Ana for granted, not for a moment and now he wondered. After losing her for five years, would there ever be a time when he could relax? Right now he couldn't imagine being apart from her for more than a minute or two. Last evening when he hid her in their bedroom to avoid Elena, those few minutes had him feeling nervous. He guessed that insecurity would be his constant companion for a long time to come. How was he going to go to the office at GEH? In the morning, he'd call in, make some excuse about the kids having colds. Then he'd call his folks and tell them that he had a cold and ask them to keep the kids at their place. No, wait, that wouldn't work either. They had to work and the kids had school. He also had to find a time to be alone with the kids to tell them about their mother. Maybe…
Christian spent the next couple of hours trying to figure out how and when to tell the children about their mother returning from the dead. After the kids, he had to tell his family. And then, of course, the rest of the world. And the Seattle PD…they were going to have questions, too.
And Ana. How to introduce her to a world she'd no clue about, a world that would undoubtedly frighten and confuse her.
The logistics of having one's wife return from the dead were not something you could find in a book or on Google. All he wanted to do was hold Ana and love her but the complications of having her home were monumental. Then, of course, there was the small matter of protecting her from the person or people who wanted her dead in the first place…or disappeared…or whatever the hell the plan had been.
His head began to pound. He needed an aspirin but that would entail leaving Ana in bed while he went into the bathroom. What if she woke up and was frightened? Besides, he didn't think that he'd make it as far as the bathroom door before he had to run back to her.
In the end, he asked himself "what would Ana do?". She'd tell him that he couldn't do anything in the middle of the night so he should just go back to sleep, especially since "Bitty" was used to rising with the dawn now and might be waking in a couple of hours. He had to chuckle quietly to himself. Ana could sleep 'til noon but Bitty rose as the sky turned pink. He wondered who he'd wake up with in the morning.
CHAPTER 42
He woke up with Bitty or rather he woke up sometime after Bitty to find her sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring down at him. She didn't seem afraid, at least, but neither did she seem at ease. When he yawned and stretched, she shuffled back a bit from him. He had a look of complete and sublime joy on his face.
"Hello, wife," an opening he thought made things clear. She cocked her head to one side, studying him.
"Does your head hurt, Ana?" She just looked at him, bewildered.
"Why would my head hurt? I think I know you, don't I? Why am I in a bed with you?" She looked around, her blue eyes big and round.
Couldn't hurt to just say the truth, he thought.
"Yes, you know me well, very well. I'm your husband, Christian. You slept with me last night because I don't sleep much without you near. I'm happy to hear that your head doesn't hurt this morning."
"Does it usually hurt?"
"Yes, badly. In fact, you usually are in quite a bad way until at least noon. Yet, this morning you're fine…although your memory is still gone. Do you know your name?"
Ana scrunched up her nose at him and said, "Now, why would I not know my own name. It's…."
She stopped, stunned. "Hmm…something with a B or an A. What's wrong with me?" She put her hand to her head.
"It's okay, my love. Please don't become upset. It's great that you don't have a headache this morning. Your name is…."
Ana put up her hand. "No, I can get it. Give me a minute." They sat in silence for a few minutes while Ana tried to recall her own name. Finally, she looked up at Christian with tears brimming.
"Baby, baby, don't cry. It's all right," he said as he reached for her and she let him embrace her.
"You've been ill for a while but you're getting better all the time. Do you want me to tell you your names?"
"Names…plural?" She gaped at him.
"Well, your birth name is Anastasia Rose and you like to be called Ana. However, you have a couple of dear friends who call you Bitty."
"Bitty? Huh. And you're my husband, you say?" She looked around the room and then out of the windows. On two of the walls were giant portraits of a very pretty woman and on the nightstand next to the man was a silver-framed picture of the pretty woman smiling. Ana reached across Christian and picked up the picture.
"Who is this woman? Your mother?" She frowned when Christian laughed. He immediately stopped.
"I'm sorry. I forgot. You haven't looked in a mirror in five years. You don't even know what you look like, do you? These pictures are all of you. Your pictures are everywhere in the house."
She stared at him. He took her hand and helped her up from the bed. He led her into the bathroom and stood her in front of the huge mirror over the vanity. Her eyes seemed ready to pop out of her head. She turned in different directions and waved her hands and touched her face with her fingers and then reached over to touch the image in the mirror.
"You see. You haven't looked in a mirror in five years. Now, you can see how beautiful you are."
"Am I? A lot of things are beautiful…flowers, sunsets, animals…people, too?"
"Not all people…but, yes, you are…so very beautiful. The kind people you've been living with for the past five years believe in modesty so they didn't have any mirrors in their house but even they knew that you are extremely beautiful. They never told you because they didn't want you to be proud. Of course, you never were conceited…never prideful. I told you a million times that I found you to be breathtakingly lovely and you'd just smile like I was biased because I love you so."
Christian stood behind Ana with his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Ana could see the love in his eyes. She was fascinated by her own reflection because she had never before known what she looked like. She felt a bit ashamed that she liked that he found her to be pretty. She didn't think that she should think thus of herself. Yet, she did like the look in his eyes as he gazed at her. She closed her eyes and leaned back against him.
"Do you want to stay up or go back to bed to sleep for a while?" Christian asked.
"Go back to bed? We have work to do. The animals have to be fed soon," Ana chided.
"The animals are back on the farm. Someone else is taking care of them for now. We don't have any work to do."
"No work?! I have to make bread and coffee," Ana exclaimed in surprise.
"Come, dear. Let's go back to bed. We have a lot to talk about," Christian smiled as he led his wife back into the bedroom.
CHAPTER 43
"Okay. You've been living in the country on a small farm with a couple named Mary and Jeb for more than five years now." Christian watched for signs of recognition in Ana's eyes. She just looked at him.
"Before that, you lived here with me, Gail and Taylor. Gail is our housekeeper and Taylor is my chief of security." Still, Ana had no questions.
"We met eight years ago and we've been married more than seven years. Five years ago, you gave birth to our twins, Theo and Ali." Ana's hand went instantly to her tummy.
"Someone, we don't know who, drugged you and made it appear that you had died right after you gave birth. We thought that we buried you…." He stopped and swallowed several times. Ana took his hands in hers. "However, it was an empty casket. You had actually been kidnapped and taken to Mary's and Jeb's farm. The woman who took you there told them a lie and they thought all these years that they were protecting you. I found you and brought you home. Home is Seattle, Washington, a big city. We live at the top of a tall building but I want to buy you a farm as soon as possible so that you can have your animals. We brought Mary and Jeb home with us. They'll live in a house of their own and they'll manage the farm.
"We have two children, Theo and Ali, who know you well from pictures and movies and stories that I've told them. They are currently staying with my parents. We'll have to tell them about you soon or they won't understand why they can't come home to daddy. After we tell the kids, we'll tell the rest of the family. There are my parents, my brother and my sister." Christian took a breath. He waited for Ana's reaction. There was none for quite some time.
"Stay here for a minute. I'll be right back. Don't move."
Christian raced to his children's room and returned quickly with photo albums.
"Look, these are pictures of your children, Ana."
Ana took the books. The only books she'd ever seen were a couple of prayer books and a bible.
Now, she looked at pictures of her children…from babyhood on to their fifth birthday party. Christian pointed out images of his parents and brother and sister as well.
"This woman next to Elliot, my brother, is your best friend, Kate. She's suffered terribly from your being gone. This is my sister, Mia, my mother and father, Grace and Carrick. Without their support these past five years, I wouldn't have been able to raise Theo and Ali. After you meet the children, my family…your family, too…will be chomping at the bit to see you. Everyone will be a little crazy but please be understanding. After all, they lost you all those years ago, too. You think I've been crying a lot…wait until my mother sees you again. You're a daughter to her."
"Where are the pictures of my parents?" Ana asked.
"Well, your mother hasn't been in your life since you were a little girl. No fault of yours. Carla is just not a good person. You've long accepted that and it doesn't bother you anymore. We lost your stepfather, Ray, three years ago. You were very close and he was a real good man. When we thought that you'd died, he struggled to go on but his heart finally gave out. He's buried in the Grey plot next to your grave site."
"So, I don't have any family left?"
"You're close to everyone in mine and they all love you very much, Ana. They're your family now, too. The last five years have been a terrible struggle for all of us. To have you back will be a dream come true for them. You have family, Ana, and a lot of love. And now you have Mary and Jeb as well."
Christian pointed out a picture of the kids with an older man. "That's your dad, Ray."
Ana touched the photo. "Will I ever remember him? Will I ever remember anything?"
"You were given drugs, Ana, to keep you unable to remember. I'm sure that the doctors can help you recover." Christian wasn't so sure at all but he couldn't break her heart. She was always brave and strong but it was too soon to ask that from her.
"Ana, would you like to meet your children?" Christian held his breath. Ana was holding hers, too. It was a terrifying prospect.
"What if I'm not what they expect? What if they're disappointed?"
"No, Ana. That isn't possible. There is no way that anyone wouldn't love you…especially your children."
Ana looked at the pictures of herself again. "I don't look like that anymore, Christian."
"No, you don't. Somehow you've grown even more beautiful."
Ana smiled. "That isn't what I mean. I look Amish. I wear different clothes."
"Well, that's easily handled. I've never cleaned out your side of the closet. I couldn't bear to give up anything that was yours. Come. Let's see what looks good to you."
Together they went through all of Ana's clothes. She was amazed at how much there was. For five years, she'd had a pair of coveralls and a very plain dress…both in dull blue. Here she had dozens of dresses, something called jeans, pants, shirts, sweaters. Then her husband showed her something called a bureau or dresser. At home she had a couple of pegs on the wall to hang the outfit that she wasn't wearing that day. Here there were drawers upon drawers filled with lacy things, satin things.
Inside were underwear but nothing like her underwear.
She picked up a tiny piece of fabric in the shape of a triangle with a string connecting it to an elastic band. Ana's underwear had a rope to tie in a knot to hold it up.
"What does this thing do?" she asked Christian.
"Hmm…that is underwear called a thong," he answered, feeling foolish. It did look ridiculous next to Ana's current underwear. "The larger piece goes in front and the string goes in back."
Ana's expression was hard to describe. Horror came closest. "This string goes up my butt!?"
Christian felt himself blushing. "It's very sexy," he muttered. Ana stared at him. "Do you want me to wear this? Doesn't it get stuck? Isn't it uncomfortable? Do you have underwear like this, too?"
"Ah, no. It's just a woman thing." Ana just stared at him. She dropped it back into the drawer and continued exploring. In another drawer, she found panties…much smaller than what she was used to but reasonable in size, at least.
"These are what you preferred to wear. You only wore the thongs when you were trying to, hmm, turn me on. It was fun. I'd just rip them off. You didn't need anything special to get me hot for you, however. I was in a constant state of hot. I just wanted you all the time, no matter what you wore."
Christian had inadvertently brought up a topic that they'd not yet covered. He tried to backpedal by moving onto the bra drawer but Ana was not deterred.
"You are hot for me? What does this mean…to be hot?" Her look was intense. She was really intrigued and was not going to be diverted.
"Maybe we'd better sit down for this," Christian suggested. It didn't help that he was at this very moment "hot" for Ana.
"Ah, well, did Mary ever tell you about sex?" he asked, thinking 'please tell me you've had the talk'.
"Yes. I'd see the animals mounting each other. I'd see babies being born so I asked and Mary told me all about how all animals, including human animals, have sex. She told me about vaginas and penises and showed me the ones on the cows and the horse and the bull. He had a really big penis. Do you have a really big penis?"
Oh, lord. "Well, it's adequate, yes," thinking that he was being modest. What came next he did not see coming.
"Can I look at it?" Ana looked so innocent. He recalled the first time they'd had sex. She was a virgin and he thought he could make her into his sub. Boy, did he get a wrong number. She made it clear pretty fast that it was vanilla or goodbye. There was no contest. Within a couple of weeks, he had a new guestroom and thousands of dollars' worth of BDSM equipment in a dumpster out behind the building. He never looked back. Ana was the sexiest thing on two legs. She was enthusiastic, curious, adventurous, tireless and demanding. No sub he'd ever had could compare. And best of all…she wanted him as desperately as he wanted her. He loved that she would come for him, jumping his bones even when he least expected it.
Now, he had to wonder if that Ana was still inside of Bitty.
CHAPTER 44
Christian was sitting on the bed with Ana. He was wearing a t-shirt and his boxers. He already had a tent pitched in his underwear so…what the hell.
"Are you certain that you want to see me naked, Ana?" Please be certain. Please.
"You mean more than just your penis?" Ana thought it over for a moment and then she nodded with enthusiasm. "I've never seen a man without clothes. I'd like to see that, please," she smiled. You'd have thought that she was asking to see one of his ties.
"Okay, sure," Christian agreed. "After all, I'm your husband." Then with all the bravado he could manage, he lifted his t-shirt revealing his chest and then he lowered his boxers to the floor.
"This is your husband. This is what you get," he smiled.
Ana observed his penis with interest. "Is it always like that?" she asked.
"Like what?" he responded nervously.
"All stiff and hard. How do you fit it in your pants?" Christian wondered how he should explain erections and desire.
"Well, penises get erections when a man feels aroused by a woman…and I'm always aroused by you." Ana nodded her understanding.
"So, this means that you want to put your penis into my vagina like the bull does to the cow?"
"Well, the bull is driven by different feelings than I feel for you. I doubt the bull is in love with the cow. Animals feel instinctual needs for procreation while humans feel the need to connect and touch and show their feelings for their partner. Also, a bull mounts a cow from behind while humans have several different positions they enjoy sharing."
"What position do you enjoy?" Ana inquired
"Anything you want. Although…my favorites are positions where I can look into your eyes."
Ana smiled. Then her eyes traveled up his body to his chest. Christian worked out a lot and was proud of his muscles. Ana, however, seemed aghast. She put her hand over her mouth and seemed tearful.
"Ana, what is it? What's wrong?"
She pointed at the burns on his chest. "I remember. I remember that you were burned when you were just a wee lad. You wake up screaming in pain when you dream about being burned. I remember." She began to weep as she gently touched each cigarette burn. "They're on your back as well. You won't let anyone but me touch them."
Christian pulled her into his arms, his erection swiftly deflating, and attempted to soothe her.
"Baby, it's okay now. They don't hurt anymore. You kissed all the pain away a long time ago. I don't dream about them anymore. My only painful dreams have been of missing you. Please don't cry, my love."
Ana sniffled some more and wrapped her arms around his neck, sitting next to him on the bed.
Then she looked him, tears still brimming. "Promise you're okay now. Promise that they don't hurt anymore."
"Promise," Christian asserted. Ana rested her head on his shoulder and sighed, catching her breath.
"It is a very nice penis. I like it. Of course, I haven't anything to compare it to just now. Maybe I should look at some pictures."
"No, I don't think that's necessary, dear. At least, not right now."
"Should I show you my vagina, even though you remember it?" Ana offered.
"I would very much like to remove all your clothing right now and then make love to you. I need to show you how much I love you. You have no idea, Ana, how many nights I've lain here alone needing to love you…how many times I've needed your touch…how incredibly sad and forlorn I've been without you. Will you let me love you? I know that I'm still a stranger. I know that you don't love me."
Ana gazed at Christian with sad eyes as she touched his chest with her hand and let it trail down to his once again erect penis. She lightly traced its length and circled its tip with her finger. She listened as Christian moaned and his breathing came harder. Without hesitation or consideration of what she was doing, she leaned down and kissed his dick. She could see how she was affecting him and she wanted to give him more. She took his cock into her mouth and licked it all around and down as far as she could go without gagging. Something in her memory told her to suck hard up and down. She could hear Christian grunting out her name and feel his hand running through her hair. Then, suddenly, he cried out "I love you!" as a liquid flew out of his penis. She quickly sucked it up and swallowed so that it wouldn't make a mess.
He lay back, trying to catch his breath…his chest heaving up and down. He was amazed. That was the last thing that he expected from Ana. His Ana was still in there, in Bitty.
CHAPTER 45
Ana lifted off her shirt and then untied the rope and lowered her bloomers to the floor. Ordinarily she would have carefully folded her underthings and placed them on a chair…but something in her head told her that she wouldn't need them anymore.
As she turned to look at Christian, he sat up and grasped her close and put his lips on hers. He kissed her deeply and intensely. He pulled her up to the head of the bed and looked into her eyes. His bright gray eyes had darkened, triggering a memory in Ana's mind. She knew that he wanted her. He kissed her again, his tongue meeting hers. She didn't understand it but she kind of liked it nonetheless. His hands traveled all over her shoulders and breasts and waist…moving down her body. She liked that, too.
Then he did a remarkable thing. He put his mouth on her breast and suckled like the calf did to the cow. Ana felt a surge like electricity go through her even though she wouldn't have known the feel of electricity. It was so strong, so powerful that her whole body arched and she cried out. Then Christian was touching her vagina, putting his fingers inside of her and touching her in a way that made her uncontrollably convulse. While she was writhing from his touch, he put his mouth on her folds and licked and sucked and she nearly went wild as a tsunami of spasms ripped through her.
She was so distracted that she didn't notice that he'd lifted her legs over his shoulders and was now pushing himself as deep as possible inside of her. He was so big that he filled her up and he pushed in and pulled out and pushed in again…over and over like he was trying to crawl up inside of her. It was almost too much when suddenly he howled and she felt a hot liquid shooting into her. Christian jerked a couple of times and then collapsed on her…his face buried in the hair on her shoulder.
"Oh, Ana. I am so in love with you. I don't know how I've managed to live without you all these years."
He lowered her legs and wrapped his arms tightly around her lithe frame, murmuring his love for her over and over. Rocking her, he rolled onto his side, keeping her as close as possible to his body. She wrapped her arms around him in turn and tried to catch her breath. She wanted to say something to him but could think of nothing sufficient.
What he had just made her feel was unlike anything she could ever remember. Did Jeb make Mary feel like this? Would it be okay to ask? Mary loved Jeb. She probably told him so, too. Ana couldn't say that. She really liked her husband but she hardly knew him. Did she love him? She didn't know. He certainly loved her. What if she never felt that for him? He was her husband and they had children together. She wanted to love him. She tried not to feel sad. She didn't want him to notice. She told herself that she would come to love him. After all, how could she not? He was so good to her.
"Ana, what are you thinking?" Christian asked. He knew it was too much to hope that she would say that she loved him.
"I was thinking how much I liked what we just did. Did we do that a lot before I went away?"
"Yes, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I especially felt the need to always be touching you, looking at you. If you left the room, within a few minutes I'd have to go looking for you. You were patient with me. I think a lot of wives would have begged for a few minutes to themselves but not you. I'd follow you around like a puppy. At Sunday brunch, my family, especially Elliot, would tease me mercilessly but I didn't care. I needed to be with you. Kate would get angry with me because she wanted your attention…Mia, too. You gave attention to them but I was always hovering nearby. You didn't pay any mind but they'd yell at me to get lost."
"Get lost! I got lost!" Ana cried out in dismay.
"No, no, dear…it's just an expression that means 'leave us alone'."
"Oh, okay. I don't want you to get lost, please."
"I won't. I don't think I could leave you alone for five minutes without coming to find you. I was bad enough five years ago but now…well, please be as patient as possible with me. I wish I knew how to explain how it feels to have my dead wife returned to me. I don't think anyone could know unless they'd been through it. It isn't a common thing. Rare doesn't begin to describe it."
CHAPTER 46
"When is daddy coming home, Gramma?" Theo whined. Ali joined in and both kids were getting on their grandparent's nerves.
"Carrick, would you please try his cell again? If he doesn't answer this time, call Taylor. He's the only person in the world who always knows where Christian has gone."
Carrick called directly to Taylor. He'd given up on Christian. Perhaps his son was in such a deep funk that he'd driven off a bridge. Taylor would know.
"Taylor."
Well, that was succinct, thought Carrick.
"Taylor, this is Carrick Grey. We've been trying to contact my son. His children are looking for their father and their patience is wearing thin…as is ours. Elliot went home a hour ago and we're rather tired."
"Understood. Stand by, sir," Taylor walked with quiet deliberation to his boss's bedroom. He didn't know what they were doing in there all this time but it was nearly noon and Taylor didn't like the children to worry. He knocked discretely on the door.
"Mr. Grey. A word, please." Taylor heard a lot of rustling and then the door suddenly opened, revealing a red-faced but happy Mr. Grey. Well, thought Taylor, that didn't take long.
"Mr. Grey. Your father wishes to speak to you. I've transferred the call to your line. The children are asking after you.
"Okay, Taylor. Dismissed." Taylor walked away to find his wife and do a bit of gossiping.
"Ana, the children are asking for me. I have to go pick them up before they become upset. I'm usually so down in the dumps that they worry."
"Down in the dumps?"
"Sad, blue, desperately unhappy without you."
"Oh, but now you are happy and they will be happy for you?"
"Yes! Extremely so. I want to bring them home and tell them about you. Then I'll introduce you to them. Are you going to be okay with that?"
"We never decided what I should wear. You tell me. I can't figure it out yet."
Christian grabbed a pair of jeans, a cashmere sweater, a pair of underwear and socks. Ana never wore shoes around the house and her perky little breasts did not require support. She slipped on the panties and looked in the mirror. Sure wasn't much material there. Then she donned the socks. They were soft…not like the rough things that Mary knitted. She put on the jeans which were a bit loose and the sweater which was also softer than her usual clothes.
Christian showed her how to wash her face, apply a light moisturizer and brush her teeth…something that the Amish didn't really do. She did know how to brush her voluminous hair. In the drawer, she found hairbands to pull her hair into a ponytail. Christian had truly disposed of nothing of hers.
She looked so adorable that Christian had to summon up some discipline to get himself dressed.
"Okay, honey. I'll be back in about an hour. I'll tell the kids about you on the way home and then they'll come tearing in looking for you. They're going to be so excited!"
Christian himself was so excited that he didn't notice the anxiety radiating off of Ana. Ana decided to go find Mary and Jeb. Perhaps they could calm her down.
Unfortunately, Mary and Jeb had risen quite early, dressed and decided to go for a long walk around Seattle. Their CPO Sawyer trailed after them and acted as tour guide. That they could understand. Bodyguard…they could not, so tour guide it was. He wondered what he'd call himself tomorrow. He kept up a steady stream of chatter to distract them from noticing all the looks they were getting…Amish not being common in Seattle…certainly not in that posh area.
Gail did her best to entertain Ana for a while. She got her to eat a bit but Ana had the same appetite as she did five years earlier…very little. Gail showed Ana the library and Ana got busy diverting her worries about her children with exploration of this wonderful room.
Christian had completely forgotten to pick up the phone to answer his father's call.
CHAPTER 47
It was a 30 minute trip to Grey Manor and although Grey was excited to see his children and to tell them about their mother, it was an hour-long round trip away from Ana. Within 10 minutes, Grey was antsy and queasy with concern. He wanted to call Ana but that would only add to her nerves.. He told himself to calm down…to think about what to say to his children.
As Taylor pulled into the drive, Christian cautioned himself to not appear happy or his parents would be suspicious and pepper him with questions. They'd never suspect the reason for his mood but that wouldn't stop them from delaying his return home. It was his good luck that his children were watching for him and came dashing out the door as he pulled up.
"Daddy, daddy!" they screamed as they threw themselves into his arms. He picked up both kids and hugged them hard. Grace and Carrick emerged from the house with warm but quizzical looks on their faces. They embraced their son and immediately started in with the interrogation.
"Christian, it's been days. Where have you been? You didn't even call. You had us quite worried," Grace started in.
"I'm sorry, Mom. I had to go out of town on an unexpected trip. I was occupied the entire time and just got back a short while ago. I didn't mean to make you worry."
"It's that time of year, son, so of course, we were concerned about your state of mind," Carrick scolded.
"You needn't have been…really. I was okay…well, at least no worse than usual. It was a quite distracting journey. Did the kids behave?" Theo and Ali nodded fervently.
Grace and Carrick smiled. "They were fine until Elliot left. We aren't as much fun as Uncle El, are we, children?" Theo and Ali giggled. "He usually tires them out for us but Kate needed him."
"Is she okay?" Christian asked.
"This time of year…no. She's been trying to hold it together since the kids' party but it finally got to her. We've been trying to get her to see your Dr. Flynn but she snarled that unless he can raise the dead, he can go eff himself," Carrick half-whispered to Christian as the children climbed into the car, loudly protesting to Taylor that they were big kids now and didn't need car seats. Taylor ignored them as he settled them into their seats on either side of their father.
"Five years is a tough anniversary. Plus, the children had a lot of questions this year. They're so much more aware as they age. My heart breaks for all of us but especially you and Kate. How are you feeling, son?"
"I'm happy to see my children and can't wait to hear how they tormented you while I was gone," he grinned. Grace and Carrick stared at him. When had they last seen him smile, really smile? He kissed Grace on her cheek and told his folks that he'd be in touch soon. Again, they could only stare.
Carrick shrugged at Grace as the SUV pulled out of the driveway.
"Take your time, Taylor. I have to talk with the children." Taylor smiled. He wanted to listen and had to remind himself to pay attention to the road.
"Theo, Ali, I have something quite extraordinary to tell you."
"What is it, daddy?" Theo bounced in his seat.
"Are we getting a pony?" Ali asked.
"Well, actually, yes. We will be getting a pony soon and a dog but that isn't the best thing I have to tell you."
The children began to scream with excitement. Taylor's dirty look through the rearview mirror wasn't necessary for Grey to know that he'd started with the wrong subject. The children's questions and demands flew at ever louder volumes as they drove down the road. Grey's attempts to quiet them were futile.
He waited, saying nothing, until the kids realized that daddy wasn't going to answer their questions until they shut up. Oh, but it was hard. They clapped their little hands over their mouths to demonstrate their good intentions while daddy glared at them.
"Are you calm now? Can you remain completely quiet while I continue? If you start screaming again, I won't tell you the biggest news of all." It was a lie, of course. However, their little heads bobbed up and down in agreement.
Christian gulped. How do you begin to tell your orphaned children that their mother is alive and waiting for them at home?
CHAPTER 48
"Well, let's see. This is harder than I thought it would be. It's going to sound fantastical, like one of your Disney movies but it is the absolute truth. You know that I wouldn't lie to you or make up a story about something really important, don't you?"
Theo and Ali nodded quite seriously.
"Well, for years I've been telling you tales about your mother and how wonderful she was, haven't I? You also know that I've been inconsolable since her death shortly after your births."
"What's 'sloable', daddy?" asked Ali, always more interested in new words than Theo.
"Inconsolable means that nothing could make me feel better. I just missed your mother too much. I thought that I'd cry for the rest of my days. Then something wonderful happened."
Theo and Ali looked across their father at each other with sour expressions. "You didn't get a new mother for us like Gramma always wants you to do, did you? 'Cause, we don't want one of those." Both children crossed their arms in defiance.
"No, I didn't."
"Ten minutes, sir," Taylor alerted Grey.
"Yes. Thank you, Taylor. When we get home, there will be someone there to meet you. She is afraid that you won't like her so you must be very gentle and very kind. You'll recognize her right away but you mustn't scream. Even though you'll be very excited, you cannot yell or she'll think that she's upset you and that will upset her. I know that I'm asking a lot of you. I know that you're only five but, in a way, so is she."
Theo and Ali stared flummoxed at their father. He was being confusing and strange.
"Who is she, daddy?"
Christian took a deep breath and hoped for the best. He looked at Taylor, wondering if he'd gone about this all wrong. Taylor nodded encouragingly at him. It was going to be all right.
"Your mother."
Theo's and Ali's blue eyes popped open about as wide as possible. This news may have sounded ridiculous to adults but children believed in Santa Claus and fairy tales.
"Really, daddy?" they said softly, somewhat startled at the tears falling down their father's cheeks.
"Yes. Really. Taylor and Gail found her a few days ago. Mommy is alive and well and home. She has some trouble with her memory but she remembers having you in her tummy and she missed you. Now, when we get inside, I'll tell her that you're home while you wait in the great room, all right? Remember what I said. Be gentle and soft with Mommy."
As Taylor pulled into their garage, the children were quiet. They were a little afraid themselves. "Will mommy like us, daddy?"
"Oh, yes. Mommy will love you as much as I do. I promise."
Meanwhile, as they all rode up in the elevator to the penthouse, Mommy was in the closet, hiding in the corner under the clothes.
CHAPTER 49
Christian was surprised that Ana wasn't standing by the elevator when the doors opened. She wasn't in the great room or sitting at the breakfast bar. Also, contrary to Gail's suggestion, she wasn't in the library. He instructed his children to wait in their room while he looked for mommy. He checked every room in the 10,000 square feet of the penthouse, eventually ending in the bedroom. His heart was beating wildly. Could Ana have somehow fled? Then he heard it…soft sniffling.
And he found her. Curled into a ball in the corner of the closet, terrified of her own children.
"Ana, sweetheart, why are you hiding in here? What's wrong?" He knelt before her, reaching out to brush her hair from her face.
"They'll hate me for leaving them. Children don't understand strange things like abductions. And after hearing stories for years from you, the real me will be a big disappointment." She began to cry hard again.
Before Christian could begin to reassure her, two tiny figures crawled into the closet.
"Mommy? Are you really our mommy?" Ali reached out her little hand and patted Ana's tummy. "Did you really carry us in here until we were big enough to get born?" Ana looked up and nodded. She smiled. "You took up a lot of room."
The children crawled closer and crawled up on Ana. She uncurled herself and stretched out her legs so that both kids could sit on her lap. Theo took the hem of one of the dresses hanging down over them and dabbed at his mother's tear stained cheeks. Ali snuggled against Ana's chest and told her mother not to cry anymore.
"You're home now, with us, mommy, and we'll take care of you."
"Yeah, mommy, you don't have to be alone anymore. We love you," Theo said softly.
The little family sat on the closet floor for some time. Gail popped up intending to ask if anyone wanted late lunch or a snack but instead, she tip-toed out again, closing the door quietly behind her.
As she entered the great room, she found Taylor's arms waiting for her and she quickly cuddled into them, crying all over his shirt. He picked her up and carried her into their quarters and settled into a club chair. He smiled as he considered all the bawling he'd have to put up with over the next couple of days. There was still the entire Grey family and, of course, Kate Kavanaugh. He stifled a snicker as he thought of Elena Lincoln's reaction when she found out that her nemesis had come back to life. Oh, he hoped that Ana remembered the hag. He'd love to see Ana deck her again.
Meanwhile, he was hungry but he couldn't see any way to ask his sweet, emotional wife to get off his lap and make him a sandwich…not unless he wanted to get decked himself. No, he'd just have to comfort her and try to not cry himself. It occurred to him that he needed to hire more security. And, oh god, the paparazzi! The crazy was just beginning.
It was some time before anyone in the closet said much. The children had a million questions but they remembered their father's warning. So, they waited until mommy spoke first.
"Let's leave the closet so that I can see you in the light. Your father says that you're beautiful and bright."
"He says the same things about you, mommy!" the children said together.
Ana looked surprised and Christian just grinned…"twins."
They all sat on the bed and looked at each other. The kids were agog at Ana's hair and Ana looked at each little face so intently. Theo looked so much like Christian except for his blue eyes. He was also very handsome, like his daddy. Ali was so pretty with her gray eyes and her blonde hair.
"Who does Ali look like, Christian?" Ana asked. Christian smiled with such love at his wife.
"Why you, of course."…thinking that she broke his heart every day.
"She does? I've forgotten what I look like already," Ana laughed.
"How can you forget what you look like, mommy?" the children scoffed.
"Well, where I've been living, we didn't have mirrors." The children gaped at her in disbelief.
"Why not?"
"Because Mary and Jeb are Amish and looking at yourself in a mirror would be thought prideful. That isn't a good thing."
"But couldn't you remember how you used to look?" they asked.
"No, I don't remember anything really since you were born. Daddy says that the bad people who took me, put drugs inside me that made me forget. I didn't completely forget, though. I always knew something was missing…something important. I'd lie in bed at night, before I fell asleep, and I'd pat my tummy and sing to it. I never understood why…until now. Somehow, way down inside, I remembered my babies."
Christian excused himself to see about dinner, leaving Ana and the children to talk. He went into the hall and sat on the stairs and cried…only this time, they were not tears of despair.
CHAPTER 50
Mary and Jeb had long returned from their walk. Doing all that walking on concrete had worn them out. They enjoyed that fancy bathtub in their bathroom and soaking their feet. Then they'd taken a nap. Now they lay talking in their big, rich man's bed.
"Do you suppose that we'll have a bathroom in our new house, Mary?
"Yes, Mr. Grey will build us a fine house, I'm sure…unless we object, that is."
"Well, I have no objection. Do you feel that we are betraying our Amish principles, dear?
"Seems we did that long ago. I've been thinking about what you said about us maybe not being so welcome back home. You're right. Even those who would welcome us would be obligated to shun us for our actions. It makes me sad…but here, we are wanted and loved. I don't feel that God is angry with us."
"Nor do I," Jeb agreed. "If so, why would he have so blessed us all these years? He gave us a nice farm, a beautiful daughter and, now, in our elder years, a nice home and grandchildren. We did the right thing, Mary, choosing each other over loveless marriages for money. I don't regret a thing."
"I don't have regrets, either, Jeb," Mary said, "certainly not running away with you. And you know what? I really like indoor toilets."
Mary laughed and curled up closer to Jeb.
.+.
While Christian and Gail saw to dinner…well, mostly Gail…Ana lay on her bed with the children cuddled closely to her. They asked a million questions and Ana had a few answers. Mostly, they wanted to know all about the farm and the animals and Mary and Jeb. Ana promised them that they would have lots of animals because Mary and Jeb were expert farmers and because her husband had promised her a farm.
"Why did you leave us?" they asked.
"I didn't leave you," Ana reminded them. "I was taken, against my will. I would never want to leave you. I have missed five years of your life and even if my memory returns, I will have no memories of you growing up." At this, Ana began to weep uncontrollably…just as Christian returned.
He ordered the children to go downstairs and begin dinner. He and their mother would be down soon and they shouldn't worry. They didn't make mommy cry. Then he took Ana into his arms and rocked her, murmuring comforting words. She probably didn't hear the words over her crying but the sound alone helped her.
"I wasn't here," she sobbed. "While they were babies and needed my milk, I wasn't here. While they were teething and hurting, I wasn't here. While they were worried or excited about their first day at preschool, I wasn't here. I wasn't here for anything for five years, Christian. They wondered why I left them." She began to cry even harder. Christian held her and his heart ached for her and all she'd lost. The rage at those who did this to her was now rising to the surface and he determined to find them and kill them. He held her tighter. They would pay for five years of loss and five years of utter misery and lack of hope.
Even as he comforted Ana, he felt the fury once buried beneath the joy and elation of her return. He had known that as much as he wished to remain in the bliss he'd enjoyed since finding Ana sitting in the hay with a lamb in her arms, the man capable of great cruelty toward his enemies, the man whose vengeful soul had been subdued by love, that man was still within him…and that man would come forth no matter how hard Grey tried to keep him at bay for the sake of his family. Until he discovered his enemies and avenged his wife, the ugliness within him would be his north star.
Still, he couldn't let his family see that side of him.
Only Taylor would know the whole truth of Grey.
CHAPTER 53
"Taylor, my study, please."
"Yes, sir."
"Ana, will you be all right with the children for a short while. I have some business that can't wait."
"Yes," Ana replied, with little confidence. Perhaps Mary and Jeb would come down soon to meet the children.
Christian leaned down to kiss Ana tenderly and hold her forehead against his.
Taylor closed the study door and turned to wait for instructions. Grey indicated that he should be seated.
"I assume that you've already begun security preparations for Ana, Mary and Jeb," Grey said.
"Of course, sir. Sawyer relates that he has enjoyed his time with Mary and Jeb…although they are under the impression that he is a tour guide," Taylor chuckled. "They may tire of him always following them so we either tell them the truth or assign him to covert status."
"We'll have to tell them the truth. They're going to notice soon enough that everyone has someone following them. It might be difficult. You recall how Ana took to being guarded at all times. The poor woman hasn't had enough thrown at her. Now she has to learn about CPOs all over again.
"Whoever drugged her for the past five years is still out there and when they find that she's home with me, she won't be safe. We have to find them and…" Grey stopped and struggled for words as he turned his head to the window.
"Kill them?" Taylor wondered.
Christian gritted his teeth and stiffened his jaw. His eyes grew dark and angry.
"Five years of her life. Five years of her children's lives that she'll never get to remember even if she someday remembers the rest of her life. All of it stolen from her," his voice rising and hardening. He stood up and paced furiously around the room while dragging his hands through his hair.
"And what about all that was stolen from us…from me, from her children, her family and friends? I want revenge! Aren't we owed that, Taylor? Tell me that you wouldn't want the same thing if someone took Gail?"
"Yes. Like you, I would try to keep going…for Sophie's sake. But Christian, you going to jail would not be what you'd want for Ana and the children, would it?"
Christian slammed his fist on the desk and threw a paperweight against the window. The glass shattered but the paperweight fell harmlessly to the floor. Christian continued to pace, his face reddening more by the second.
"What am I supposed to do, Jason? What do I do with all this rage seething inside of me? I haven't felt like this since before I met Ana. They took her away from me! Made me think that she was a rotting corpse! Do you know how many nights I dreamt of her in her grave and woke up screaming?! And now she's crying because she never knew her babies, never fed them or watched them growing." He had to stop to catch his breath.
"Sir, Christian," Jason stood and put his huge hand on his boss's shoulder. "Keep breathing. Don't speak for a while. Look, I know better than anyone what you've been going through. Do you know how many nights I've held my crying wife until she could sleep? Now, we'll find the people who did this and they'll be punished but your job is to help your wife adjust to her life. You have to keep your temper out of this, out of her life. She needs peace now."
"I don't know if I can calm down, Taylor. It think it's too much to ask of a man whose wife has been hidden from him for five years."
"Well, I'm sorry, sir, and I do understand but you have no choice. You have to leave the investigation to your security team, Welch, the FBI and the SPD. I'll keep you in the loop as much as possible. Now go have dinner with your family, all together, for the first time in five years. Second thought…stay in here and breath deep and slow until your face is no longer beet red."
Taylor left and Grey sat down. Jason was right, he knew. Going off half-cocked was not sensible. However, Taylor was going to have to give him the talk at least once a week until somebody died or went to jail.
CHAPTER 52
"Ana, dear, I don't know what your diet has been like for five years now but I'd like to make something you're really fond of having. Can you give me a clue?" Gail asked.
"Vegetables, potatoes, eggs and once a year we'd slaughter a pig and have ham for a while."
Theo and Ali stared in dismay at the word slaughter. "You'd kill a pig and eat it?!
"Well, sometimes we'd have beef if we had an extra cow to eat."
"Oh, barf. Yikes, mommy." The twins were horrified. Ana was puzzled. "Don't you ever eat ham or beef?" she asked. The twins looked at Gail who nodded yes.
"You two love barbequing, right? Hamburgers, hot dogs, steaks? And at Easter at Gramma's, you love honey-glazed ham, don't you?" Gail pointed out.
"Ana, do you still like pasta?"
"I don't know. Let's have it so I can see. I wish Mary and Jeb would come down soon. Kids, I want you to meet the two people with whom I've been living for the past five years. They're great people and they're very excited to meet you."
"Yes, we are!" Mary and Jeb beamed as they walked down the stairs. "Ana, please introduce us to your children. We've been looking forward to this all day."
Theo and Ali looked up shyly at the two very strangely dressed people in front of them. They saw their mommy burst into a big smile so they knew the people were good but still their clothes were so odd.
"Theo, Ali, this is Mary and this is Jeb. They took such good care of me for so long and I'm sure that it wasn't easy much of the time. I love them very much."
Theo took the hint and, holding Ali's hand, walked up to the Millers to greet them.
"Thank you for taking care of our mommy," said Theo.
"Oh, it was our pleasure. Your mother was such a blessing for us and we're so happy that we get to go on living with her. We would have missed her so very much."
Theo and Ali looked confused. "You're going to live with us?" Ali asked with surprise.
"Didn't your daddy tell you? We hope that you don't mind. Your daddy wants to build a house for us near your house on the farm. We'll help take care of all the animals and the garden," Jeb remarked. To the chagrin of all the adults, Theo and Ali began to bawl.
Christian emerged just then from his study to find his children crying loudly, Ana at a loss, Mary and Jeb looking embarrassed and Gail attempting to calm the kids.
"Whoa, whoa! What's this all about?" Christian asked as he knelt down to his children and enveloped them in his arms.
"Mommy and Mary and Jeb are going to kill our animals," the kids wailed. Ana was beginning to cry as well and the Millers were trying to comfort her. Taylor walked into the dining room and turned right around to walk back out.
Jeb was now having to comfort Mary who was crying because Ana was. Christian picked up both his children and sat down on the couch. Gail was holding Ana. "Pasta isn't made from animals, is it, Gail?" Ana sobbed. "No, no, dear. It's made from flour. No meat tonight, I promise."
It was chaotic for a time before the kids grew weary of weeping and once they calmed down, so did Mary and Ana. Theo and Ali explained to their stunned father that hamburger, hot dogs, steak and Easter hams were all made from dead animals. They swore to never eat those items again.
"But you love hot dogs and hamburgers. You always complain when I won't let you have them as a normal meal."
"We didn't know, daddy, until mommy told us." Then Ana ran out of the room in tears. Mary ran after her and found her in the closet again. "I'm not a good momma, Mary."
Christian was left in the great room with Jeb explaining to the children that farm animals were raised to be eaten. To find out that they'd been eating cows and pigs and turkeys and even lambs all this time sent the children into fits of guilt and wailing all over again.
"I'm sorry that you thought that farm animals were only pets, children. That must be really hard to hear. You see, Mary and I grew up on farms and just took for granted that the animals we cared for would one day end up on our dinner tables. And, of course, it's all your mother has known since she's lived with us because she doesn't remember anything further back than five years. Now, she's feeling something awful about making you cry and she's probably afraid that you won't like her anymore."
Theo sniffled. "We still love Mommy." "Yeah, we love Mommy," Ali concurred.
"Well, then you'd better go tell her that before she cries so much that she just dries up," Jeb advised.
As Christian began to get to his feet, Jeb put his hand on his arm.
"Let your youngsters handle this, son. Mary'll be right out."
Christian nodded and sat uncomfortably, waiting. It was really clear to him now that he couldn't go kill anyone and that he couldn't let on how crazy mad he was. Ana was too fragile to tolerate anything but love.
CHAPTER 53
Ana and Christian lay on their sides, looking into one another's eyes and talking. Earlier, the children had forgiven their mother for eating animals and were still debating veganism. Mary and Jeb had charmed the children and kept them captivated for hours explaining the Amish and how they lived. The children, who both had closets stuffed with clothes and toys were gobsmacked by the notion of having two clothing options, homemade dolls, and no need for closets. They were also quite excited about moving to a farm where Ali could have a pony.
Now they discussed the next hurdle…telling his parents, brother, sister and Kate. Christian, worried for everyone's safety, particularly his wife's. All her 'life' was lived on a tiny farm. How could she be expected to withstand the paparazzi hoard? It would be the biggest story of the year, not only in Seattle but across the nation. Billionaire's dead wife returns from the grave.
Christian endeavored to make Ana understand the life she would be living being his wife. She tried but failed to grasp her own popularity as well as that accrued to her as a result of her position as a handsome, young,billionaire's wife. Their names and pictures would be in every issue of the tabloids. Even the legitimate news outlets would publish as much as possible to increase their circulation.
He told her that she would be followed everywhere…..not only by his security team but by photographers who would walk backwards in front of her, leap out from doorways and bushes and yell crazy questions just to get a reaction shot.
"I wish it didn't have to be that way, Ana but I'm rich and you're beautiful."
"Aren't I rich as well?" Ana smiled. Christian laughed. She was catching on faster than he expected.
"We usually spend Sundays at my folks but this Sunday, I'd like to introduce you to my family…have a dinner here at home. Five new people, Ana, all of whom love you so very much and think you're dead."
"Five? That's so many more than two." Ana had a frightened look on her face.
"Let me tell you all about them. Maybe that will help."
Christian then went on about Grace, his savior and Carrick and his big brother, Elliot, Elliot's fiancé and baby sister, Mia. He described each to Ana and answered all her questions.
"I'm still scared, Christian."
"Ana, love, you are the center of my world and I've always believed that you are the bravest and strongest person I know. You can only be brave if you're afraid. Be brave…for me?"
"Christian, do you want to do sex again?"
"Only if you want it. Knowing that you want me just as much as I want you is the key to my sexual needs. No one ever wanted me before. They wanted my money, my influence, my sexual abilities…everything except just me."
"I do want you, Christian, very much. I find that I care for you more and more." Ana smiled shyly. "I need to be close to you again."
Thus, Christian made love to his wife, intensely and passionately, for the second time in her very young life. He made her feel his love…not just his physical need for her…for he needed to convey his devotion.
Ana encouraged everything he did…everything he wanted to do…with her and only her.
CHAPTER 54
Sunday morning, Christian woke with the pink dawn filling the room. As he'd relaxed a bit and no longer feared waking alone, he looked down at the beauty sleeping in his arms. Today will be a big day for Ana. He was desperate for things to go well…for everyone to care about each other again. And, most important, to know to keep what they'd learned a secret a while longer.
Ana rolled over on her side. Christian pulled her closer. Today would be a hard day for her, he knew, but he also had great faith in her ability to accept and to love. Everything would be good.
Across town, at Bellevue, Mia was already in the kitchen baking. Grace was packing up salads. Both were wondering what Christian had to tell them. He'd said that it was quite important and could only be shared in person. No, he couldn't give them a hint. Grace, who'd been gently easing him toward female companionship believed that Christian had finally met someone who could give him what he needed…love and a mother for his children. The new girl would certainly not be Ana but Grace was determined to welcome her warmly into the family. Perhaps, in time, they'd grow used to her and Ana's memory would fade just a little. It was all they needed. Time and love.
Still, it was with some trepidation that Carrick pulled up to Escala. Elliot and Kate were right behind them. They all believed that they were about to meet a new woman, Ana's replacement.
They were all happy for Christian but sad for themselves. This new woman would only be a reminder.
"I don't think that I could stand it if Christian needs to touch her all the time like with Ana. I might leap out of my chair and go for her throat," Kate growled.
"If Christian is happy, I'll feel the weight of the world off my shoulders," Elliot said. "Please remember, Katie girl, that his newfound happiness will raise up all of us."
He reached over to caress Kate's head. "Be the kind heart I always feel at home." Kate leaned into his touch and smiled. "Yes, dear."
The entire group rode up on the elevator together and were greeted by a beaming Christian who bestowed hugs and kisses on everyone before inviting them to be seated. It was a girl, all right. All prepared their game faces.
"So, I guess you're all wondering why I've asked you here. What I have to tell you won't be easy to hear. You'll probably go into shock at first. I've had a week to adjust and I'm still floating on a cloud. Not sure if I'll ever come down again.
"Through a couple of lucky breaks and the help of some good people, I was led to a tiny Amish farm a 1.5 hours of air miles from here as the crow flies. I was brought to my knees by what I found in the barn.
"I collapsed. I was afraid to look for fear I was going crazy. Then the sweet young woman who'd been feeding a lamb, turned to look at the man she'd been dreaming about for at least three years. She didn't say much…just my name, Christian. I think I cried for an hour.
"Have any of you suspected yet?" He waited but everyone was still looking at him blankly.
"All right. The young woman was Ana." The group as a whole gasped.
"She's in our bedroom with the kids but I wanted to prepare you first. She remembers little but the last five years. She was being given what the Millers were told was a medication to ease her morning migraines but I suspect it was intended to keep her in a state of amnesia. Now, she's seen all your pictures and I've told her a lot about each of you.
"When she comes out, please be as calm as you can and follow her lead. She is quite frightened but is trying to be brave. Any questions?"
"This is our Ana, you're talking about, right?" asked Elliot in disbelief.
"Who are the Millers?" Grace asked.
"They're an elderly Amish couple who owned the farm where Ana has been living. They're wonderful people and they're going to remain a part of our lives. They preferred to wait upstairs in their room until Ana had met all of her family. They are very kind and thoughtful people. It is because of them that Ana is safe at home."
"Yes, it's a long story and my investigators are looking into everything but there is no doubt, this woman is my wife. Now, if there are no more inquiries, I'll get Ana."
CHAPTER 55
They all stared at each other…as if to confirm that they'd all heard the same thing. It was crazy and impossible. They suspected that this woman was a close copy of their Ana but if it made Christian happy again….
Then they looked as the young woman walked into the room, holding hands with Theo and Ali, with Christian close behind, his hands on her shoulders. The woman had her head down until Ali decided to make introductions.
"Mommy, this is Gramma Grace and Granpa Carrick. This is Uncle Elliot and Aunt Kate. And this is our Aunt Mia. You should say hello to them, mommy."
Ana looked shyly at everyone until she got to Kate who was frozen in fear that she was dreaming.
"Christian told me that you've been my dearest friend since I was 18. He says that every year on my children's birthday, you go to visit my grave and talk to me. I'm not used to physical affection. Mary and Jeb are immensely kind but the Amish don't touch a lot. Christian touches a lot," Ana giggled. "And the twins do as well so I'm finding that I like it. May I hug my best friend?"
Without a word, Kate crushed Ana to her and burst into tears.
"My god, you are real! Oh, Ana, Ana. How can this be? For five years I've cried and dreamed and hoped for a miracle, but all I've ever felt was despair. I'd never have another friend like you. If I hadn't had Elliot, I don't know what I would have done." Her tears flowed down her cheeks and her sobbing escalated as she clung to Ana.
Ana was befuddled but she patted Kate's back and told her that they would get to know each other again. Then she gently eased Kate out of her embrace and smiled up at Elliot.
"I can see that you take good care of my best friend," she stated simply. Then she stood on tip-toe to put her arms around Elliot's neck. Elliot lifted her off the floor and hugged her back, tears threatening.
Down the line, Ana went…hugging each person in turn and saying something to each. To Grace, she noted that Christian had told her that Grace thought of her as a second daughter for which she was grateful because she didn't have a mother. Grace, as predicted, began bawling loudly and excessively. Mia kept repeating that she had her sister back.
The shock, from which everyone was suffering, began to recede as emotions were being expressed. The children tried to help by hugging anyone who wasn't being hugged by their mother. Christian stood with his arm around his dad's shoulder, grinning like a loon. Ana was being so Ana, just as everyone remembered even if she did not. Lord, how he loved this woman.
Then Ana asked if it was okay to sit at the table. Christian, seated at the head of the table, held out a chair for Ana to sit next to him. With the children's urging, they begin to take their seats, never taking their eyes off of Ana.
"Christian, dear, are you certain that this isn't just a doppelganger," Grace whispered.
Ana looked perplexed at the woman who was Christian's mother. "Christian, what is a doppelganger?"
"An unrelated stranger who appears to be a twin. And, mom, she isn't a doppelganger"
Dinner was served but no one had much appetite…just a lot of questions. Ana and Christian took turns answering as well as they could. Everyone saw how blissed-out he was and how he couldn't keep his hands off of her.
The children ate heartily. They were really awaiting their dessert which they hoped was Aunt Mia's red velvet delight.
Ana pushed her food around and took a few small bites but mostly she was listening to everyone else talk and answering questions to the best of her ability. She told them about Mary and Jeb who had not come out of their room so as not to be a distraction.
As the evening went on, everyone relaxed. Ana giggled a lot and jumped up and down to get drinks and clear the table for Gail. Her children had their own language as twins often do and Ana reprimanded them for being rude to the others. "Yes, mommy,'' they apologized. Then she snuggled them close for being such good children.
Grace insisted that Ana come to the hospital for a full workup and after that it was off to the dentist…even though Ana's teeth were a blinding white. Ana agreed because one never says no to an elder.
Carrick advised Christian to come to Grey Manor soon for an update of his will.
Elliot and Kate pleaded for a double date, real soon…even though Ana didn't know the meaning of the word 'date'.
Mia jibber-jabbered the whole time about shopping just as she always had before with Ana. Ana understood not a word but listened and nodded. She really liked looking into those emerald green eyes.
Chapter 56
Saying goodnight at the elevator took a long time. Everyone had to be hugged at least twice and even after the doors closed, someone opened them again because they just had to be sure that Ana was indeed Ana.
Christian had to emphasize several times that Ana's safety depended upon her being anonymous for a while longer. Staying quiet would be a special challenge for Mia who wanted to shout from the roof of Grey Manor that her beloved sister was ALIVE!. She was reminded by her brother that if she breathed a word about Ana to anyone, she could be putting a bullet in Ana's brain. At that Mia turned gray and promised that no matter how much she trusted someone, she'd say nothing. Everyone, Christian said, had to act normally and do nothing to alert anyone to the truth. This, he pointed out to his mother, included Elena Lincoln.
Finally alone with their children, it was bath and story time. The children were so sleepy they were out before Ana finished the story. Then she and Christian tucked Theo and Ali in, kissed them goodnight and turned off the light. Taking hands they walked into their bedroom. Although they'd made love each night that they'd slept together except for the first night, Christian was still being careful to avoid assumptions. He didn't want Ana to think that she had to have sex because he was her husband.
"Want to sit on the balcony and talk a while?" he asked. Ana nodded so they settled into the two-seat glider and watched the lights of Seattle twinkle below them.
"How do you feel now that you've met your family? There's no one new to meet now," Christian said.
Ana looked surprised. "Are they the only people I know?"
Christian smiled. "No, but they are the most important people…people to whom we couldn't avoid revealing your existence. Someone out there still wants you dead and I'm not taking any chances."
"Why would someone want me to die?" Ana asked. "Who would have a reason to want me gone?"
"To go to as much trouble as this person did and yet keep you alive on an isolated farm? We're baffled. There have never been any ransom demands, either."
"What are ransom demands?" Ana asked. Gosh, thought Christian. There are so many things that I take for granted and it's all new to my wife.
"Usually if someone is kidnapped, someone rich, the kidnappers demand money for the person's return."
"Every year, that woman would come to the farm to see if I was still okay but she never wanted to see me. She said that I would get hysterical and cling to her when she tried to leave."
"Yes, Mary and Jeb told me everything that they could think of about those visits. Unfortunately, there were no clues to her identity. Why would some strange woman care about your welfare? What was her real reason for hiding you away?"
"Maybe she wanted to keep me away from you? Of course, why then wouldn't she just kill me and be done with it?"
"I'm baffled, Ana, and more intensely angry than you could realize. Taylor knows that I'm capable of killing anyone who'd harm you and he's warned me away from the investigation. I'm trying to be calm and let him do his job. It's hard. You're my wife. It seems to me that I should find this person and wring their neck myself."
"No, Christian. You would go to jail. Please don't do anything that would get you taken away from me. Promise me that you'll let the police people handle everything."
Christian sighed and kissed Ana's head. "I promise."
He picked her up and settled her on his lap. She leaned against his shoulder, safe and warm in his arms, and fell asleep as the glider smoothly rolled back and forth. His heart, full to bursting, Christian also fell to sleep.
CHAPTER 57
As the Grey family celebrated the return of their beloved Ana, someone who didn't care so much for her was plotting her doom. It was early April…time for another visit to the Miller farm. Also time to give Mary a fresh container of the powder that would ensure that Ana retained her amnesia. This time the medicine would be considerably stronger. Within a few days, Bitty wouldn't wake up anymore. Meanwhile, she rewrote the ransom letter. It had to be perfect. Christian would wonder why someone would wait five years so the letter had to be convincing. She'd taken Ana's rings before leaving her at the Miller's. They were worth a lot of money despite Ana being a simple girl who would not want her fiancée to spend a million dollars on an engagement ring and another half million on a wedding band. Grace had wept to Elena not only about Ana's death but that someone would also take her jewelry…rings that would have been given to the next generation.
Elena felt that both rings should have been hers. Deluded as she was, she believed that Grey would eventually want to marry her. After all, she reasoned, who knew him better? Who had given him everything that he had? Who had given him advice and taught him how to carry himself, how to dance and even how to tie a Windsor Knot? They were bound together for all time. He should have bought Elena a million dollar engagement ring by now.
So, she knew, Christian would not believe the letter but it would bother him...a lot. She'd advise him to disinter Ana's casket which he'd find to be empty. He might even do that. However, if he didn't respond to the letter, she'd send the wedding band. That ought to get things moving. She had to admit that it saddened her that he had never proposed marriage and, she realized, never would. That worthless tramp had made him stupid.
She looked over the letter again. She had to be sure that it didn't sound like her. She would have to dumb it down, make it less classy and eloquent. She'd have to wait to send it until she was certain that the stronger poison had worked. That could be weeks away and she was itching to get going. She'd put her life on hold for too long for that ungrateful boy. For five years she'd been doing all she could think to do to strengthen her hold on him. She'd been certain that once Ana was gone that he'd turn to her for new subs, to return to the life that had been so pleasurable before he met that dull little girl.
Try as she might, she just could not understand Christian's attraction to Ana. He'd had subs who were incomparably beautiful and who'd been trained by Elena herself to know how to please him. He himself had told Elena that he had no time in his life for anything but GEH with the exception of a few hours on the weekend for some playroom fun. Then, one day, his latest sub and undoubtedly the best ever, came to Elena in tears. He'd dismissed her. When Elena called to question him, he was cold to her. He told her that he'd met a girl who didn't want to be a sub and that he intended to win her over, one way or another.
In the blink of an eye, it seemed, he was no longer interested in BDSM. He'd torn his playroom apart and tossed it all in a dumpster in order to convince this new girl that he meant it when he said that he'd give up BDSM for vanilla with her. It seemed to take forever to get her to come live with him. He was so lonely for her on the nights that she didn't spend with him that he couldn't help begging. Within a month of meeting her, he'd talked her into sharing a home. Within three months, he'd talked her into marriage and within four months, they were husband and wife. When he announced that he was going to be a father, Elena began her desperate plotting.
She was certain that he would mourn Ana's passing but would, within a year, return to his first love, BDSM. Her first plan involved burying Ana alive but, being wily and cautious, she could not deny that having a live person to trade for millions of dollars would be a smart way to go as well. So, she'd hide Ana away until Christian had ceased mourning and returned to BDSM. Except that he never did. She watched as he grew ever more despondent, ashen-faced and dull with despair.
Well, five years was long enough. She wasn't getting any younger and she had to accept that there would be no more subs and no marriage proposal. When she dropped by for her checks, he barely noticed that she was in the room. His eyes were blank when they looked at her. It was time to really make him pay…with millions of dollars and a fresh corpse. She wanted him to know that his wife had been alive all this time and that he'd just missed her by a few days. Oh, she cackled, that would hurt more than the first time he found her dead…to know his miracle had been so close.
As she worked on her letter, she drank…the hard stuff. As the hours went by, she got drunker. She was having a hard time keeping a clear head. She reread the words she had written and couldn't understand them. The letters swam in front of her glassy eyes. Soon, her head fell down on the keyboard and, until morning, many of the letters her head was pressing on repeated on the screen, over and over.
In the morning, she would look at the letter in disgust and vow once again to stop drinking while writing.
CHAPTER 59
Sometime in the night there began a light drizzle. Christian woke to find both himself and his wife rather soaked. He stood up with Ana in his arms and walked quickly to the bathroom. Ana's skin was very cold and Christian was frightened by this. He turned the temperature in the shower to 70 degrees and quickly stripped Ana of her clothes, leaning her against the mirror as she sat on the counter. She was still asleep and this, too, scared him. Without taking the time to remove his own wet clothes, he carried her into the shower and sat on the bench. He rubbed her arms and legs. He gently tapped her face. Gradually, she came around, opening her eyes and smiling at him.
"I'm not wearing clothes but you are. Can we have sex that way?"
Christian relaxed and leaned his forehead against Ana's. Then he set her down on the bench and quickly removed his own drenched clothing.
"We got rained on out on the balcony. You were freezing cold. It scared me. You took a while to wake up. Are you cold now?"
"No. I want to sit in your arms again…for a while…and then I want to make sex."
"The expression is make love." Christian grinned in delight at her eagerness to be with him.
"What is the difference?" Ana scrunched up her nose in puzzlement.
"Love is the difference, my darling. I've only had loveless sex with you one time and that's only because I had never had sex with a woman in my bed and I was rough…like I was with my subs. After that I was all sorts of things that I'd never before been with a woman."
Ana cocked her head, not understanding.
"With my subs, I was just rough. With you I was passionate, gentle, intense, filled with joy and, oh, so many emotions I didn't know I could experience. I didn't use you to relieve my tensions…although sometimes you could see that I was tired or hurting or in need of you and you'd come to me. I've always loved that…any time you'd just take me."
"What is a sub?"
Shit.
"Maybe we could talk about that another time. It will be dawn in a few hours and we need to sleep."
"But what is a sub? You said that you were rough with your subs, like sex rough. Who were these people you had sex with before me?" She crossed her arms as she sat on his lap. Oh, boy, he silently groaned.
"Honey, it's a long story and I'll tell you the whole tale tomorrow, okay?" Ana stared at him. Evidently, it wasn't okay. He could clearly see that his sweet, winsome little wife was jealous…eyes narrowed, coldly jealous.
This time he groaned out loud. "Oh, Ana, please baby."
The more he tried to dodge the more Ana looked like a woman working up a good old-fashioned temper. She hopped off his lap, slapped away his hands and left the shower. She donned her robe and stomped off to their bed. She crawled in and, turning her back, proceeded to ignore him.
Her head and every inch of her long hair was soaked. This worried him. She could get sick. He picked her up from the bed which angered her so she kicked her legs and demanded that he put her down. She weighed so little and he was so muscled that her fighting him was useless. He carried her into the bath and set her down on the counter stool. Then he began to dry her hair, first with the towel and then with the hair dryer.
"Sit still or this will take all night," he ordered. Slowly she stopped squirming and sat still. Her eyelids grew heavy and her head began to slip down. By the time he'd finished, Ana was leaning back against his chest…asleep. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his nose in her hair.
"Oh, my love," he whispered.
CHAPTER 59
If Christian had any hope that Ana would forget that word…"sub"…by morning, he lost it when he woke to find her sitting cross-legged and staring at him. Still, she was a beautiful sight to wake to with her hair wildly askew all around her…alive and with him.
"You are without doubt the most beautiful bedhead in history, my wonderful wife," he beamed at her.
She relented somewhat…smiling at him for a moment. He was so handsome, she thought. Then she veered back to topic.
"What is a sub?" Christian rolled over, covering his eyes with his arm and grumbling. He knew that there was no way out and he couldn't lie to the woman he cherished above all things in this world.
He hoisted himself into a sitting position and reached out a hand to Ana. She hesitated and then gave him one of hers. This made him smile. He knew that she would forgive no matter what.
"Are you ready for a story, my love? The story of my life?" Ana nodded, her eyes now alight with interest.
He then began with his first four years in a filthy, cold, studio apartment, a drug addicted mother, her pimp and his last three days in that place with his mother dead. He went on with the tale of his adoption by wonderful and wealthy people, his good life until puberty.
"What is puberty?" By now her eyes were sad. He explained puberty and what it did to his already sour disposition…the schools that expelled him, his brawls with classmates and, finally, his complete turnaround to model student but also his growing distance from his family.
Ana crawled up closer to him and laid her head on his chest with her arm hugging him. "Why did you become distant from your family? They're so nice and warm."
"Well, now we get to the ugly part of the story. My mother's best friend and our neighbor, Elena Lincoln, seduced me and, in doing so, introduced me to BDSM." He waited…not long.
"Talk more," Ana insisted.
Christian explained that she offered him her body to fuck in exchange for being tied up, chained, whipped, caned and all manner of terribly painful punishments and humiliations. Again he waited.
"What is that word, fuck?"
"I didn't love Elena. I didn't even like her. She was quite a ways older than me but very beautiful then and I wanted to have sex. Not like I have with you. I was a teenage boy whose body had woken up and needed to touch a female body and have orgasms…."
Ana interrupted. "Like what I do?" "Yes, dear, but without the love and connection. This kind of sex was without meaning, without caring. It was just physical satisfaction. I didn't know until I met you that it was basically empty. But when I was 15, it was a way to touch and feel."
"She hurt you a lot, didn't she?" Ana said sadly with an unmistakable tinge of anger.
"Yes. BDSM is supposed to allow the submissive…that is, the sub…the opportunity to refuse certain acts and to have special words to tell the dominant that whatever they're doing has to stop. Elena wasn't a proper dominant. She was a sadist. She loved to hurt, to cause pain. She played with my head, convincing me that she was the only person in the world who understood me and telling me that if I ever told my family what was going on with us that they would be disgusted and hate me. I believed her."
"Did you ever tell them?"
"No and I doubt I ever will. We're much closer now. After I met you, I changed and when you supposedly died, everyone rallied around me and we became a tighter family. You've always been the reason for the good things in my life, Ana."
"You said that you had subs. So, that means that you became what Elena was?"
"God, no! Yes, I told her that I no longer wanted to sub for her when I was 20. She wasn't happy about it but she taught me how to dominate and found girls for me. You see, there are women who actually want to be beaten, tied up and engage in rough sex. They enjoy it and it is the only way that they want to have sex. I know that is hard to understand. I never understood it.
I didn't treat my subs the way that Elena did. I still couldn't be touched so it was my only means of sexual release. My subs could pick and choose what they wanted to do in my playroom and I stopped the moment they said the code word "red". I gave them cars and jewelry and money for educations after they left me. I tried to be good to them but it was still meaningless sex and I was still lonely although I didn't realize it until I met you."
"You never fell in love with any of them?"
"Never. You're the only woman I've ever loved or will ever love."
CHAPTER 60
"Good."
"Did I answer all your questions?" he asked.
"For now. I can't think of…wait…how many subs did you have before me?"
"15." Ana jumped up and yelled "15!?" "How many men have I had?"
"1! Thank goodness. I don't think I could stand knowing that there were some other guys out there who'd kissed you or, god forbid, fucked you."
"Don't say that word. I don't like it."
"Yes, dear."
"I should have had more men so that I would know how to please you. I don't know anything."
Christian had to laugh which earned him a blazing look and a snarl. "Oh, sweetheart. You're a natural. You didn't need any practice. You've always pleased me more than anyone else ever could. The first time we had sex I was amazed. I didn't know it could be good. I'd been having sex for so long and I thought I'd had some great sex but I knew right away that I hadn't known even good sex before you. I could have walked away from every one of those women without a backward glance but you? I was well and thoroughly hooked from the first time.
"You make me happy! I'd never felt joy being inside a woman but you, you're my home, my world and my greatest happiness. You always fall asleep before me because I want to just lie with you in my arms and feel the rapture of being with you."
Ana was quiet for some time and Christian thought better of asking questions. Maybe soon she'd kiss him, letting him know that she wanted him. God!, was that ever a turn-on…Ana wanting him.
Then he realized that she'd fallen back to sleep. She slept a lot more than she used to do. He worried that that poison she'd been fed all those years had done some permanent damage. He knew that they could go on from here and be happy together but he'd feel so much better once she got the all clear from a doctor.
It was almost 7 a.m. He reached over her body to get his phone.
"Good morning, my dear," a cheery voice answered. "It's awfully early. I thought that you and Ana would…well. Never mind, everything all right?"
"My wife is in my arms, mom. Everything is wonderful. Can you believe my luck? I still wake with a start, my heart pounding until I realize that it wasn't all a dream."
"Your father and I couldn't sleep at all. He kept threatening to call you to see if we'd imagined the whole thing. Elliot did, in fact, call around 1 a.m. He wanted us to reassure Kate that she hadn't dreamt it all. He said that she hadn't stopped crying since we left your place. Her face was getting so raw from all the tears that he'd had to apply Vaseline to her cheeks. Then she kept asking me if it was all real. She so dearly loves Ana."
"Elliot's really protective of her, isn't he?"
"Yes, he's always been that kind of person. Despite all the fighting you two did, he worried about you. When Ana came along, he began to relax. After Ana…well, died?...he became ever more protective of Kate and you. Carrick and I had so many sleepless nights worrying over all our children. We were all so fragile. We'd call Taylor every year around the anniversary and warn him to keep an extra close watch over you. He'd reply that he did that year round.
"Does Ana have any idea what she meant to all of us?"
"Of course not, Mom. You know Ana. Since she was abandoned by her mother she'd had a hard time accepting love even though she can give it by the ton. Mom, you mentioned getting Ana a full work-up. I'd really like that as soon as possible. I'm worried about that poison she was given for five years. I'm not expecting a miracle return of her memory although bits and pieces come to her. She remembered how I got all the burn marks on my chest."
"I've already spoken with our best diagnostician, Delores Emory. I called her last night and explained the situation, including the need for utmost discretion. She's penciled Ana in for 10 a.m., using a fake name. If I recall, Ana once had a wig and a pair of dark glasses. I'm sure that you never threw anything away so put her in that along with her Amish dress. I know how badly you'll want to be on hand but you know how dangerous that is. Perhaps Mary could bring her in along with one of your new guys. We don't want to take the chance on anyone even suspecting her identify. "
"Thanks, Mom. I really appreciate it even though I'm sure that Ana won't," Christian laughed. "I'll feel better knowing that you're standing by, asking all the questions I would."
"No need to thank me, son. She's my daughter and yes, I know all the questions to ask. Oh, tell Mary to wear something of Ana's just in case our suspect sees the two and puts it all together."
"Mom, I swear that you're thinking more and more like me every day."
"About Ana, to be sure. Tell Mary that I'll meet her in the waiting room and I'll refer to her as Ms. Casey, a social worker."
"Will do. I love you, Mom." As Grace rang off, Christian snuggled closer to Ana. It was only 7:20…plenty of time to rest yet.
CHAPTER 61
Plenty of time to rest if you don't have 5-year-old twins, that is.
"Mommy, daddy, can we go wake up Mary and Jeb?" they hollered through the locked door.
"Go to the kitchen. I'll bet they're already having breakfast. Show them your Legos."
As the twins pounded back down the hallway, Christian sighed. Mary and Jeb were a gift to their family, he thought, as he fell back to sleep, pondering the location of Ana's wig.
He woke up an hour later remembering that the wig was on the top shelf of Ana's closet on a Styrofoam head which was also wearing the dark glasses. Ana was starting to mumble so she'd be awake soon.
He texted Taylor about the hospital visit.
Ana needs to leave for hospital for 10 a.m. visit.
Will be wearing disguise.
On it, sir. Reynolds will be going with her and Mary.
He isn't a known face as yet.
How did you know about Mary?
I'm brilliant and always one step ahead of you.
You're fired. We'll have Mary wear some of Ana's clothes.
Okay, sir, but I'm taking Gail with me.
You're rehired. Ana will be wearing Amish dress.
Ana was now awake and looking around her. Suddenly, a light went on in her eyes. She knew where she was and why. She turned to look at Christian.
"Golly, you are the handsomest man on earth, I'll bet."
"Thanks, ma'am. I'm only glad my wife thinks so. You have an appointment with my mother soon. Let's get a shower and then get you dressed in your Amish clothes."
In the shower, they got all their washing up done and all their loving out of the way…enough to last them the morning anyway.
Mary dismissed the wig idea and instead wound Ana's long hair into a thick bun at the back of her head and then covered it all with a bonnet. She herself wore jeans and a t-shirt with a denim jacket. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw Jeb staring wide-eyed behind her.
"A shock, eh?" she said.
"Yeah, but you look real good, Mary. How does it feel?"
"Kinda strange. Tighter than what I'm used to, Jeb. I don't feel a bit wrong, though. Maybe we ought to try out dressing different. It's a whole new life for us."
"Maybe," Jeb allowed. He was feeling a bit aroused by this strange woman in front of him. He warned her to be careful, keep an eye out and he loved her. He didn't say it all that often so Mary was quite pleased.
At 9:45, the trio left for the hospital. Ana was nervous but Mary was strong for her. She, too, was getting a workup and later she wanted Jeb to have one. Neither had ever seen a doctor and they had nothing against modern medicine. Long time from home, she thought.
The city fascinated her. There was much to look at and she and Ana looked from window to window, trying to catch it all. Reynolds was looking as well but not at the sights. This was the first time he'd been put in charge of any of his boss's loved ones and he was not going to mess up. Taylor had lectured him at length about his duties this morning and what an important job he was being given. Every precaution was being taken to ensure the safety and anonymity of these two women. Mary, who, of course, also had very long hair, was wearing it in pigtails wrapped around the top of her head. Her hair was gray as well so there was little chance of someone mistaking her for Ana. Reynolds had to take the bullet-proof SUV but he took the precaution of dressing in a regular shirt and jeans.
When they arrived, it was evident that their disguises had worked. The paparazzi who lingered about the entrance took no interest in the three of them. Grace met them in an exam room to further ensure that no one make a connection with a Grey. Reynolds was instructed to return to Escala before anyone could think too much about the black Mercedes. He would return when called, driving an early model Dodge panel van, wearing the uniform of a maintenance man. Yes, Taylor was thinking through every possible problem.
Now, Ana thought, if only Reynolds could spend hours being poked and probed and drained of blood instead of her.
CHAPTER 62
Meanwhile, back at Cruella de Ville's, Elena was once again writing a ransom demand while fighting off a hangover. She decided to keep the note simple.
To Christian Grey:
Five years ago I fixed your wife's IV with a hefty dose of a poison made from the puffer fish and the marine toad along with a few extras. I didn't want to kill her. I just wanted you to think that she was dead. I bribed the funeral director to pretend to imbalm and put her in a casket. Meanwhile, I stole her and hid her away. I guess I could have just buried her but I wasn't ready yet to claim a ranson so I wanted her alive. Now, I am ready for payment for her return to you. Don't worry. She is alive and well. I will tell you where I hid her when you wire the money into an account in another country. I have put the istructions at the bottom of the letter. I spose that you won't believe me but can you take the chance.
I'll be in touch soon.
Perfect, Elena congratulated herself. The misspellings and the grammar mistakes would throw him off of her scent. He knew how she prided herself on her writing skills. Later, at the right time, she'd send the letter. First, she had to be certain that she had only a corpse to deliver.
CHAPTER 63
Christian had kept the children home from school. They were just children, incapable of pretending that their mother was still dead. Grey knew that it would be a problem but he couldn't imagine keeping them from their mother or vice versa. So, now, he had to find a way to keep the children out of school for as long as possible. His father had suggested taking the kids and Ana to the Grey ranch in Montana. Animals, acres of land…anyone trying to sneak up on the house could be seen coming for miles. Ali could have her pony and Theo could just go at a dead run for miles. This penthouse was already too confining for the children. He could also sense restlessness in both Mary and Jeb. They'd gone from working dawn until dusk at physical labor to sitting with the kids building with Legos, watching kids movies, reading fairy tales. At the ranch they could muck out stalls, plant flowers, take care of the horses. Yes, he thought, it was the best way to go. Now if only Ana would get home with a good health report. He'd feel better knowing that she was okay.
When his phone rang, his heart jumped. When would he stop anticipating trouble? Ana is at a hospital, he told himself…couldn't be in a better place. He was wrong about the trouble, however. It was Elena. He didn't want to answer but if he didn't, she was liable to drop by. He could always change the code but then she'd be suspicious.
"Elena, what can I do for you?"
"Well, you aren't at work. Andrea said that you called in to take some time off and I became concerned. Are you feeling ill?"
"No, not really. Just didn't feel like working today." There was a pause. Elena was choosing her words well.
"Perhaps lunch with an old friend would cheer you up?"
"No, the kids are home so I'm spending time with them."
"You sound pretty good. Your voice is lighter than usual."
"Well, I'm not lighter than usual so I think that's your imagination, Elena."
"Huh. Okay. Well, I'm glad that you're taking some time off work. Since Ana died, you've been putting in so many hours."
Christian said nothing. Ordinarily, the words 'Ana' and 'died' would drag him down so he had to keep up the pretense.
"Oh, I'm sorry, my dear. I shouldn't have said that. I'll let you go now. Kisses to the children."
Christian let her ring off without a word from him. Kisses to the children, my aunt fanny, he thought. Then he laughed…the language he was picking up from the Millers!
.+.
Elena decided to drive up to Whiting that morning and visit her 'daughter' one last time. Time to get this worthless dullard buried for real.
It was a beautiful day in Seattle, sunny and warm. Nonetheless, Elena decided to drive herself. Maybe it would be gray again when she returned. As she drove further north, the sun receded and the weather became more pleasant.
She was surprised to find that no one was waiting for her when she roared up to the farmhouse. Usually, Mary and Jeb heard the car coming and came out to greet her. Elena felt rather displeased at their lack of respect.
She stepped out of the car, disgusted by the usual farmyard debris…animal feces, mud, leaves and twigs…did no one ever think to clean up and provide a clear path to the door. She knocked several times. Oh, lord, she wasn't going to have to walk to the barn or the field, was she?
Finally, she thought to call out. "Is anyone home? Hello?!"
At that she saw a young man emerge from the barn. He was muscled, healthy and her mind immediately went to her playroom. He walked up to her. "You lost, ma'am?"
"It's Miss, young man." He certainly didn't believe that but said nothing.
"What can I do for you?" he asked politely. He didn't like the way she was looking at him…like he was a juicy steak.
"I'm here to see the Millers. Where are they?" Elena's impatience was quite evident to the man so he was pleased to disappoint her.
"The Millers are gone. I live here now."
"What!" she screeched. "Gone where and where is their daughter?"
"They left some time ago." The sheriff had warned him about this woman and her impending visit so he knew what to say. "As for the daughter, she's buried out back." Elena looked like she was going to faint and the young man certainly didn't want to have to pick her up out of the mud.
"Why don't you come inside for a bit? The Millers left a letter for you." He took her by the elbow and led her inside. Everything looked the same to Elena…sparse and poor. She took the letter and sat at the table.
Ma'am, we spent little of the money that you left us over the years. Didn't need it. We are sorry to tell you that Bitty took ill quite suddenly from a brown spider bite. Her death broke our hearts. We gave her a proper burial out back of the house and held a service for her although it was just the two of us. We offer you our sympathizes and condolences. Heaven has a new angel.
After Bitty's death, we found that we couldn't continue here so we've decided to go back home. We're gettin' on in years and will need people around us.
Again, we're real sorry about your daughter. The Millers.
The letter was sealed so Elena figured that the new owner hadn't read the letter. He asked her if she'd like to visit the grave. As she looked down at the packed and dried out earth, she figured that Ana had died some time ago. She momentarily contemplated digging up the body as she had so hoped to gift it to Christian. However, she wasn't currently in the mood to do so. Perhaps later.
Without a word to the boy, she got back into her car and drove away.
Huh, he thought. Well, it wasn't much but he'd tell the sheriff all about the visit when he next dropped by.
CHAPTER 64
Elena was unsettled as she drove home. This twist in the plot line had not occurred to her. Well, she could always direct Christian to the grave. She knew that he would be unable to stop himself from dredging Ana up from a strange grave. He would want her in the Greys' private acreage.
Oh, my, wasn't that strange young man a tempting morsel, she smacked her lips.
When she arrived home, first thing she headed for the bar. God, she needed a strong drink...or ten. Thus fortified, she texted to one of the many people on whom she had blackmail material.
"Come to the house. NOW."
Within minutes, there was a knock at the door. Through the peephole, she could see her patsy…standing at the bottom of the steps, looking very scared. Probably thinks that I want him to sub for me today. She laughed. Lord, she loved being a dominant.
She was hoping that Grey would be so desperate for his wife's return that he'd take the bait immediately. If he delayed, she would have to write again, enclosing Ana's wedding ring and a lock of her hair. He might even decide to disinter the brat. She hoped that she would somehow be informed of that occasion, maybe by Grace, so that she could be there to see his face when they opened the empty coffin.
Whatever, Elena was packed up and ready to go. She'd already mailed some of her things to the Villa she'd rented in the Maldives. She had acquired citizenship some years before…just in case.
Her account in a bank in Switzerland was under a coded name so any inquiries would be turned away. She was brilliant, she knew, and uncatchable.
Smiling, Elena thought, Grey is still deep in mourning. Her courier should be arriving at Escala at any time now. Oh, she wished she could be there when he opened the letter. Well, perhaps Grace will have something to say at Tuesday's lunch. Meanwhile, Elena had nothing to do but wait. She'd dismissed her latest sub so no play time. She was skittish. She was normally one cool cat. That, after all, was a hallmark of being a dominant but there was so much riding on this scheme…her entire future depended on Christian being willing to believe that Ana was being held somewhere and $50 million dollars was the price of her safe delivery home.
.+.
Ana's exam was going well even though Christian interrupted several times. Certainly, he hoped that Ana would one day recall their life together but far more important to him was her good health. Puffer fish and marine toad venom flowing through her blood stream for five years was a terrifying thought. He would search the world high and low for a doctor capable of keeping Ana healthy if that was what it would take.
"Mom, how's it going? Any results to report? I'm going crazy over here. The kids are due home with Mia any time."
"Christian, this had better be your last call. I refuse to answer any further queries. Understand? Ana and I are sitting in a room with Mary waiting on Dr. Emory. The more you call, the more anxious Ana becomes. You know how she is…worrying about you. Now leave us be."
Somehow, Christian made it through another hour without crawling up a wall. When he heard the elevator ping, he raced out of his study only to find Elena Lincoln. He tried, but failed, to hide his disappointment.
"Well, I only dropped by to check on your wellbeing, my pet. You needn't look as though I came bearing bad news. You look terrible. You shouldn't let the children see you like this. I brought Chinese take-out to share with the children in hopes that they'd see me as less the evil step-mother."
"The kids don't like you, Elena. I also don't let them eat greasy take-out on school nights."
"Honestly, Christian, I've tried everything I know to ease your grief and you've treated every one of my attempts with disdain. Why must I beg to help you? Why do you treat your oldest and dearest friend with such contempt?"
Christian considered Elena's sad face for a moment before answering.
"You hated my wife, Elena. And the feeling was more than mutual. I don't see any way around that."
CHAPTER 65
Just as Elena was about to protest that she knew him first, the elevator pinged and, over Elena's shoulder, Christian saw Mia. They quickly exchanged meaningful looks and Mia turned around to return to the elevator. The children didn't notice. All they saw was their beloved father beaming at them. They began to say something…something inquiring about their mother…before Christian put his finger to his lips. He told them to go upstairs and play a game until he was finished with his guest.
Then the elevator pinged again and, to Grey's surprise, Charlie the lobby guard popped out.
"Well, hello, Charlie. What brings you 20 floors up?"
"A courier just dropped off this letter for you. Thought it might be extra important." He handed off the letter and then quickly excused himself…didn't want to leave the lobby unattended. Grey thanked him and tore it open. The children were curious, too. They watched in alarm as their father's face turned ashen and he stumbled over to the couch.
Elena, summoning up her finest thespian skills, sat next to Christian and patted his back.
"Christian, you look like you've just seen a ghost! What is wrong, my dear? Let me help."
Taylor walked into the room and gently but firmly took Mrs. Lincoln's elbow as he steered her to the elevator. "Perhaps another time, Mrs. Lincoln."
"But Christian needs me!" She wailed in protest as Taylor pressed the button to close the door.
Christian handed the letter to Taylor who simply nodded and texted Dr. Trevelyan.
Please advise current location and company. Urgent.
Exam room. Ana and Mary. What is going on?
Please lock door and do not allow anyone entry until you hear mine or your son's voice.
The kids were silent but gawking. They'd never seen their father this way.
Taylor called out for Jeb and Reynolds. Hearing the urgency in his voice, they rushed into the room.
"Jeb, Rennie, please stay with the children. Lock the elevator behind us and allow no one entry. Rennie, are the keys in the van? Good. We'll return as soon as possible."
"Kids, don't worry. Everything will be fine," Christian assured his children while his own heart was racing.
At that, Christian and Taylor ran into the elevator and headed for the garage. Neither spoke. Neither understood what the letter could mean. When they reached the hospital, they parked the van around back and headed for Room L5 on the main floor. Christian pounded on the door, calling for his mother to unlock the door.
Taylor made a quick and thorough sweep of the room and bath while Christian grabbed Ana and held her tight. As the doctor walked in with Ana's results, Taylor locked the door behind her. Dr. Emory clutched the paperwork to her chest and felt the tension in the room flow through her.
"What is going on?"
"Delores, this is my son, Christian and the chief of his security, Jason Taylor, and I don't know what is going on. Christian?"
Taylor shook his head at Christian, warning him to say nothing about the letter.
"It would be a great help if you give us any results you have. Then we have to hurry out of here and I'm sorry, we can't tell you why."
Dr. Emory went on to say that Ana's blood was still infected with the poison but that she was in no danger. Her blood should be checked again next week for improvement which Dr. Emory expected. Other than that, the results from other tests would be available in a few days. Christian took a deep breath and then he and Taylor hustled the women out of the room and to the elevator. Grace had patients and refused to leave. She promised to explain to Delores that they couldn't say a thing.
In the van, Ana and Mary stared at Christian. He read the letter to them.
"Is this real? Ana asked with big eyes. Ana didn't understand. He tried to explain that this was a threat. That the person who kidnapped Ana didn't know that she'd been found and he didn't want them to know. Ana was in danger.
CHAPTER 66
Elena rushed home to check her account in Switzerland and was disturbed to find the balance unchanged. She told herself to calm down. The letter had been delivered only an hour ago. Grey and his chief henchman still needed time to debate and decide on their next step. After knocking back a couple of glasses of whiskey, Elena slumped on the couch to spend time imagining the reaction of Grey.
She laughed when she pictured his face before she left. She laughed when she imagined him pacing frantically to and fro in his study while tearing out his hair. He no longer had her counsel to help him decide what he should do. When he called to ask for her advice, she would not answer. He needed to understand her worth to him. Somehow, she'd spoiled him over the years. Still, she wished that she could be there to advise him to open Ana's grave. She would very much like to see his face when he looked down into an empty coffin.
As the day eased into evening, Elena was like a cat on a hot tin roof. She pondered the wisdom of calling Grace for an update. She once more checked on her account in Switzerland. She was not a patient woman and this situation called for trusting in time. She finished a second bottle of whiskey and started on a third.
.+.
While Elena was working on a case of alcohol poisoning, Welch, the FBI, the Seattle PD and Grey's entire security team were all hunting for Dr. Greene and Richard Peterson, the keys to Ana Grey's case. Nothing had been released to the media and only a very select few knew of Ana's return to her family. When the FBI and the Seattle PD had to speak to Ana or any of the Greys, the agents dressed like maintenance men or cleaning ladies, hoping to avert the suspicions of anyone watching.
If matters hadn't been tense before, the receipt of Elena's letter sent everyone into overdrive. The children couldn't go to school for fear of inadvertently revealing their mother's existence nor could they play on the balconies because someone might see their mother walk by. By week four of their incarceration, plans been had made for them and Mia to spend some time over in Montana at the family ranch.
Ana had to make the decision to stay at Escala. She wanted to be with her twins but, as much as he tried to hide his feelings, Ana could see that Christian needed her with him. While he thought that she was sleeping, Ana could feel him holding onto her, kissing her hair. He would tell her over and over that he loved her so and couldn't live without her again. During the daylight hours he would nonchalantly mention that he could fly out to the ranch on the weekends but she knew that even if that would be enough for him, he couldn't really do it without alerting whomever might be watching.
Mary and Jeb wanted to stay with their Bitty but she quietly told them that they might also be in danger. They didn't want her to worry about them so they agreed to go with the children. Taylor insisted that Gail go as well and this time he was firm in his demand that she be safe. It was going to be quite lonely in the penthouse, Grey reflected…wondering how he used to live there completely alone and how it took him some time to adjust to the presence of a housekeeper and security.
So, in the early morning hours of a Monday, the maintenance van left the garage ferrying two children, two adults and several security agents out to the private hanger of the Grey jets. Grace and Carrick were already aboard.
Every person in Escala had to be vetted by Taylor's team, quietly and unobtrusively. Anyone who had any business at Escala had to be equally vetted. Even law enforcement agents had to be thoroughly vetted. No one could be truly trusted with the exception of Grey, Ana and Taylor.
Both Ana and Christian struggled to be there for each other but neither felt that they were doing enough. Christian saw Ana aching for the children she was only beginning to know and Ana knew that she couldn't lessen her husband's fear of losing her. They made love and held each other closely all night but in the morning, Christian had to battle with the stress of leaving Ana for the office. It would look odd to someone watching his actions if he did not go to work.
The security detail lurked in every niche and corner of Escala and sometimes Christian would come home to a teary wife who was tormented by the anxiety engendered by a dozen strange men with guns everywhere she turned.
CHAPTER 67
It had been two weeks since the delivery of the ransom letter. No progress had been made in finding Dr. Greene or Mr. Peterson or in identifying the writer of the letter. And the Greys weren't the only people suffering from the lack of progress. Elena Lincoln checked every day with her Switzerland account…to no avail. Grace had cancelled their last three lunch dates which made Elena quite nervous. There was no information to be had on the whereabouts of Ana although Elena had found that the Grey children were no longer in attendance at school. The school believed that the kids had been hustled off to a rich kids' camp in Big Sur. However, Elena could make nothing of this news. Unless…
Perhaps Christian was in such a state of depression that he couldn't deal with his own children and felt it best that they be sent away for a good time in the woods. It was evident to Elena that the first letter had not been convincing. If he had set his men on the trail, they would find nothing and he would be half-mad waiting for word. Time to send the letter with Ana's lock of hair and wedding band.
Mr. Grey,
Apparently, you are not convinced of the truth of my first letter to you. I will try one more time and then I will have to dispose of your wife and move on. I will, however, give you the location of her remains for proper burial.
I enclose a lock of her hair and her wedding band as further proof that I have her. If, within a week's time, you have not deposited the $50 million in my account, I will end this. I have been taunting her with the promise of rescue. To discover that you've not taken the chance to save her may make it easier for her to face her death.
Elena was aware that Escala was a Seattle hotspot at the moment and that sending a letter by courier would be difficult so she simply mailed it to Grey Manor. She estimated that it should arrive and be placed in Grey's hands by the end of the week. That would be a good time to drop by unannounced.
Grey had been warned by Taylor and the FBI that any electronic communication between him and Ana could be overheard by a hacker. Thus, Grey's plan to sit in his office all day talking with Ana on his computer was thwarted. Phone calls were also forbidden. In addition, Grey had to appear to be himself in front of his employees…any one of whom could be complicit in Ana's abduction. Ros and Andrea could see that something was more wrong than usual. They had been with Christian since the beginning. They understood his moods, his quirks…and the past five years they had watched as he slowly faded away. Sometimes the two women would sit together in the break room, often in companionable silence and other times quietly sharing their own grief over Ana's passing and their boss's despair…something they could do nothing about.
Lately, however, his moods had been all over the place. For a time he was cheerful and they feared that he had decided to go to be with Ana but that had passed and now he seemed wracked with tension and fear. Andrea would walk into his office to find him standing and staring out of the window. At those times, she was grateful that Grey had decided against having a balcony. Ros would arrive for a meeting and find him clutching a bottle of bourbon, half into his cups, staring at the giant image of Ana hanging on the wall opposite his desk.
Sometimes, Ros would call Taylor and have him take Grey home for the rest of the day. GEH's reputation was Christian Grey's reputation. Already, the business world wondered about Grey's stability. Since Ana's death, he'd had to prove himself time and again, summoning up the pre-Ana demon his competitors so feared.
Now Taylor would take his boss home, calling ahead to one of his team on a secured line to warn Ana. She would meet Christian at the elevator, her arms crossed and tapping her foot. He would sheepishly apologize for his condition as she led him to their bedroom. It was all for show. The moment they were alone, Ana would fling her arms around him and hold on fast, telling him that everything would be all right. He would confess his fear to her and she would shush him, telling him that he was the bravest man she knew…that he'd just had a rough day. Then she would run a warm bath with the oils he'd shown her and together they would lie in the water and talk about all the things they and their children would do when this was all over with for good.
Afterward, they would make love for a long time until Christian felt invincible.
CHAPTER 68
Ana spent her days staring into space, reading or perusing the family photo albums. She would look at the pictures of herself from so long ago. Nothing felt real. The happy girl beaming at the camera as she held her baby belly and leaned back into the arms of the man who adored her…was that really her? There was a particularly sad picture of Christian holding his twins. It was taken the day after their birth and Ana's 'death'. Christian looked at the camera, dazed. There was a question in his eyes. He seemed desperate for understanding. What had happened? Why? Was all this real?
Ana so missed the farm…the simple days with Mary and Jeb. She wondered how Dolly had fared. Her baby would be running about in the fields now, returning now and then for mother's milk. Ana could see that her own children were quite bright and healthy and had done well without her milk. Then she would weep a little because they really hadn't needed her. She knew that now they needed her. Grace would send pictures every day, ostensibly just to Christian. The children would tell their daddy how much they missed him and Ana could see in their faces that they wanted so to tell her the same. How awful that they had to pretend that they had no mother.
It was then that Ana would become angry. Oh, how she wanted to punish the 'mother' who took her away from her family. She had overheard Taylor talking to his men. He mentioned a woman whom he suspected of kidnapping Ana but he never said a name. He said that she had covered her tracks so well that not even Welch and the FBI could pin her down.
When Christian arrived home, they greeted each other with such passionate intensity that Taylor would have to turn away. It was too private. Ana would take Christian's face in her hands and look into his eyes, searching for signs that he was well. He was doing the same. It seemed that they couldn't hold each other tight enough. Christian didn't wonder anymore if Ana loved him. He wanted so to hear her say it but at least he knew that she did. She made love to him like a woman deeply in love with a man so he could wait for the words.
They would heat up one of the dozens of casseroles that Gail had left them and then sit on their bed, eating and talking. Christian would tell Ana stories about the children. He held back nothing. She knew what it had been like for him to sit next to an incubator, letting one of his babies grasp his finger and feeling this was all wrong, that Ana should be sitting next to the other incubator. He told her about all the nights when he sat in the rocker that was to have been hers and held her babies. He'd gotten quite good at holding two babies and two bottles. Then he would change their diapers and return them to their cribs. Two hours later, he'd repeat the whole scenario. He didn't sleep anyway.
He told her about their first crawl, their first steps and their first word…Da. They never said Mama. He said that he would have liked to describe all the time gone by as a blur but every moment stood out in sharp detail. No, without Ana, five years dragged by with every minute screaming her name.
As he grew maudlin over the time lost, Ana would insist that he rejoice that they were now together again and would always be. She would tell him that she knew somehow that both would live to a great old age. She would say this with such ferocity that he had to believe her. Ana never lied to him. He'd laugh and tell her again about how hard he'd worked to win her. She never tired of hearing his stories. He was a marvelous story teller.
"You did not feel an instant attraction to me, to be sure. And I knew so little about how to woo a woman. I'd never had to try. Elena simply chose for me and had them delivered to my door. I didn't know what to say to you. Oh, and when I showed you my playroom! Gosh, I wish I had film of that! Any other woman who knew nothing of BDSM would have gasped and gone running the other way. You wore an expression of such impassivity that it bordered on utter boredom!"
"I wasn't shocked by the whips and canes?" Ana asked in disbelief.
"You walked around touching things, looking in drawers, sitting on the chesterfield couch. I was crawling out of my skin and trying to appear to be stern and strong like a dominant should be. After you gave the room a thorough going over, you asked me what I wanted to do to you in the room. I explained how I'd braid your long hair so that it didn't get in the way and hurt you. You replied in a droll tone, "how thoughtful". Then I showed you the cuffs I would use to lock you into the carabiners and the rope I'd use to tie you to the bed. You didn't appear shocked at all.
"You asked what you were supposed to be doing all this time and I replied…nothing. At this you raised your eyebrows. I just hang or lie still while you use all this equipment on me? you asked. As you questioned me, I began to feel foolish. Oh, but you weren't done with me."
CHAPTER 69
"What do your subs get out of all this?" Ana inquired in a voice entwined with sarcasm and disdain.
"Great orgasms, for one. I also give each new sub an Audi, safest car on the road."
"I find it ironic that you worry for their safety," Ana sneered.
She hates me, she hates me. Oh, god, this is not going well. What the hell do I say next?
"I give them a lot of jewelry, furs, apartments. I also pay for any education they desire. One of my former subs is now a medical doctor. One is an artist with her own gallery in New York City. I have Taylor keep tabs on each of my former subs in case they're in trouble or about to cause some."
"Cause trouble? How?" Ana asked rather naively.
"They could expose me, ruin my business and my relationship with my family. That's why each signs a non-disclosure agreement before they even sign a contract."
"A contract?" Ana was beginning to weary of this crap.
"Yes, it is a very detailed contract. I tell them what I expect of them and they tell me the same. If there is some sexual act that they don't wish to perform, it is crossed out of the contract. Would you like to see a sample?"
"Oh, very much so, Mr. Grey." Ana rolled her eyes, a punishable offence. Alas, when Ana did it, it was an incredible turn-on.
Grey retrieved a copy from one of the drawers in the playroom and handed it to Ana. It didn't take her long to peruse it. After all, this was one extremely smart girl who took all of two years to earn her 4.0 gpa and graduate summa cum laude.
"Interesting," was her only comment. Then she looked around the round once more.
"So, what kind of woman agrees to butt plugs, suspension from the ceiling, etc. all for a car, some jewelry and a fur…which, by the way, are heinous gifts. You do know what's been done to all the animals who are now hanging on the slender shoulders of your fuck buddies. I also think you're too smart to not know of blood diamonds.
"Well, I think I've learned enough," Ana said as she rose from her seat on the Chesterfield couch.
"Oh, by the by, what do you do with this couch?"
"I rest on it between doing scenes and I love to observe the beautiful bodies before me."
"And the bodies, I assume, are still hanging from the cross or the ceiling?"
"Hmm…yes or lying spread eagle on the bed."
"And these women enjoy this, I presume you are going to tell me?"
"Well, yes, as a matter of fact, they do. If I have any flaw as a dominant, they tell me it is that I am too gentle. They constantly cry out for more and harder."
"I'd love to talk with one of these women," Ana said.
"Well, since they've all signed NDAs, they wouldn't be able to even acknowledge my existence. However, I could give permission to one just to speak with you. Would you like that?"
"Not really necessary. Well, I'd better be going. I have an appointment in 30 minutes."
"But you haven't answered me? Will you be my sub?"
Ana looked up at the Adonis. Lord, he was a gorgeous man! Such a shame.
CHAPTER 70
"So, what do you think, Ana? I promise you that you'll come to love being in this room with me."
"I'll admit that sex with you is probably quite nice, Mr. Grey, but I prefer to participate. What you have here reminds me of the phrase from Lady Hillingdon's journal…lie back and think of England.
Or, in your case, hang there and think of the next piece of jewelry you'll receive for submitting.
"I believe that you think that all these weapons and this room make for a great sex life. However, being a sex slave isn't what I want. Nor do I need a shiny new car, a tennis bracelet, the fur of a couple dozen skinned minks and, certainly not a good education. I need a lover who cares more for my satisfaction than his own. Ergo, I do not need you."
"Perhaps if you just gave it a try….Christian was begging and he knew it.
"I know myself well, Christian. I know my needs. I am not one of those automatons that your pimp sends by. Which reminds me. Who is it…you or your sub…who terminates your contract?"
Christian bowed his head and ran his fingers roughly through his hair.
"I do. When I feel a sub becoming attached to me, I end our relationship. Or if I realize that the sub wishes to please me enough to solicit a marriage proposal."
"Well, with your looks and your money, I should think that you are quite popular. So, why bother with me, someone who is clearly not up for a good belting and a new car?"
"I don't know." Christian found that he couldn't lie to this young woman.
"Well, if you ever figure it out…and the contents of this "playroom" make their way into the dumpster out back, call me and maybe I'll answer."
"Then, my love, you kissed my cheek and walked away from me, while I stood there baffled."
Christian went on to tell Ana that he tried to stay away from her. He took on a new sub…one who was almost without limits, loved the little red Audi and squealed with pleasure when he gifted her a tennis bracelet…one of many he kept in a drawer in his study. As he belted her, spanked her with the studded paddle and watched her scream out her third orgasm, he suddenly realized that he wasn't having a good time. And that he hadn't had an orgasm, either.
He wanted Ana but if he called her, the first thing she'd ask would be the whereabouts of the red room. He found that he couldn't lie to her.
Taylor, I need your assistance. I want the playroom demolished.
If he wondered why Taylor didn't immediately respond, he could have gone down to his office to find Taylor staring gobsmacked at his phone. Meanwhile, he began to gather up all the items hanging on the walls and throwing them into a pile on the bed. He'd just completed that task when Taylor appeared in the doorway.
"Let's start by gathering all these up in the sheet and taking them downstairs to the dumpster."
Taylor nodded dumbly, leaving the room with a huge red bag, like a Santa Claus dominant. By the time he returned, Grey had emptied the contents of the dresser unto the bed as well and was now studying the carabiners to see how they could be detached. Taylor took the second bag down to the dumpster and then returned to the room with a screw driver and a hammer. Together, he and Grey managed to remove the carabiners and break them apart. Taylor carried the carabiners down to the dumpster when Grey followed with the little dresser housing butt plugs and Ben Wa balls and pinchers. When they came back, they stood in the room, trying to decide what to do with the bed and the couch and the spanking bench.
Grey called a local charity that housed homeless men and asked if they had need of a couch and a bed. While he did that, Taylor unscrewed the legs from the bench and took the whole thing downstairs. The charity did want the items, having no clue as to their original use. With the room now empty, Grey told Taylor to call a painter.
It was done. Now, Christian told himself, all he had to do was convince Ana to give him a second chance.
CHAPTER 71
"Did I give you a second chance?" Ana asked without a trace of guile.
Christian smiled, deciding not to tease her. "Yes, thank god, you did. And you were truly amazed that I gave up BDSM for you. So much so that I never revealed how easy it was to do. You worried a lot that I'd miss it or resent you. I recall that Elena Lincoln stopped by a couple of times to 'warn' you that one day I'd snap because you were forcing me to be someone I was not."
"Did I ever relax and take you at your word?" Ana asked.
"Not exactly. You simply said that I was a grown man who could make his own decisions and that if, one day, I wanted to resume practicing BDSM, you would pack a bag and leave. No harm, no foul. Very sneaky, I thought, making me take responsibility for my own actions. Thereafter, Elena came straight to me and you were in the clear."
"Did I always dislike her, Christian?"
"You'd learned about her and her role in my life before you two met. She kind of snuck up on you in a restroom at my mother's annual gala. I'd warned her not to come but she did anyway. We left the gala shortly after."
"Do you like her, Christian?"
"Well, that's a complicated question. I've known her since I was 15. She was my dom for five years and since that time has acted as my confidant and sub provider. But do I actually like her and enjoy her company? Less and less as time goes on. I haven't been able to completely eliminate her from my life because we're business partners. She gave me the money I needed to start GEH so I gave her the money to start her salon. She is also my mother's best friend. I feel stuck."
"Gift her your shares in the salon and tell your family the truth. Simple."
"Break my mother's heart?"
"Free your mother from a parasitic relationship."
"Your good sense can get irritating, missy."
Ana loved the story and often asked Christian to repeat it just as the kids often wanted stories to be told again and again. Christian didn't mind. He loved talking about meeting Ana and pursuing her. Although it was just four months from their first meeting to their wedding in the backyard of Grey Manor, it had seemed so much longer…more like four years. Once Ana was officially, legally, his…to have and to hold…he relaxed. He had somehow found the most precious of treasures and she was now his.
Christian looked at the beauty sleeping in his arms. Nothing he'd ever done in the Red Room brought him the kind of joy that Ana did by simply being. He longed for a life lived simply as well. He tried to take Ana's advice to rejoice in what they had…not ache for what had been taken from them. He'd been lucky beyond understanding to have found her. He didn't deserve her or the two wonderful children she'd given him. He would never be able to repay her for giving him this life.
CHAPTER 72
Taylor had suspected the involvement of Elena Lincoln from his first meeting with Mary and Jeb. They had described the woman as tall, haughty and dressed all in black. Now, if that wasn't the picture of Mrs. Lincoln….however, they had no proof. She'd covered all her bases. The FBI was frustrated, too. The agents had hoped that she was still in contact with Dr. Greene and Peterson but they were in the wind…possibly somewhere in South America. Elena was followed always but did nothing to connect her to Ana's abduction.
Detective Parker had suggested an 'accidental' meeting between her and Ana to spark a reaction but both Christian and Taylor were vehemently opposed to putting Ana in harm's way. Elena was unstable and capable of anything.
Sometimes, however, things happen that we can't anticipate.
Tuesday morning, Christian and Ana clung to each other as Taylor waited in the elevator. As the minutes ticked by, Taylor considered physically separating the two.
"Sir, you have a meeting with the department heads in 20 minutes. You're going to be late."
Christian sighed, kissed Ana and reluctantly entered the elevator car. He and Ana stared at each other as the doors closed. As the two men exited the garage, they didn't notice the black Bentley parked down the block. Elena, behind the wheel, was determined to get information from Gail. She needed to know how Christian had reacted to her second letter.
She walked quickly down the street, again ignoring Charlie and his greeting and got into the elevator, pressing the code for the 20th floor. She'd find Gail alone and vulnerable, she figured.
As the doors opened in the penthouse, Elena was surprised to find it so quiet. Usually Gail would be puttering about in the kitchen and why were the windows set to fog? Elena decided to snoop around Christian's office. Right on top of his desk were the two letters she'd sent. She looked around for some indication of what he was doing about the new information. There was a long report from someone named Welch and the info was about her! They suspected her! Elena began to shake. What could she do? Reading the report with trembling hands, Elena saw that her ultra-secret account in Switzerland was not so secret after all.
No, no, she thought. This can't be happening. She'd been so careful. Reading further, she saw that they knew about her villa in the Maldives. She would have to open a decoy account. Her head began to hurt. Stay in control, Elena. Don't crack. You can't afford to lose control. Remember that you are smarter than all those men. Always have been. Men are simple creatures, easily manipulated. Oh, the buzzing in her head. She shouldn't have started her day with a couple of glasses of bourbon.
And how could Christian go to the office when he'd been told that his wife was alive? How could he work? This could only mean that he didn't believe the letters yet getting what she wanted depended on him being desperate to get back the wife he had been mourning for five years. Instead, it appeared that he didn't believe that she was alive. He wouldn't give her the money she needed to retire. Worse, it appeared that he believed it was her who was extorting him. She felt the walls closing in.
Leaving the study, she still didn't see Gail.
She did see a long-haired brunette, standing in the great room and staring at her.
CHAPTER 73
The two women stared at each other for a long time. Elena trying to come to terms with seeing a ghost. Ana studying the woman and wondering how she knew her. It was Ana who finally broke the spell and approached the woman. She didn't like that the woman had come out of her husband's study but perhaps she was someone from his office who came to collect important papers. At any rate, she had the elevator codes so she must be a welcome visitor.
"Hello, welcome," Ana greeted Elena, holding out a hand to shake. The woman stood stock still. She was very pale and Ana could see that she was trembling. Ana wondered if she was ill.
"May I get you a drink of some kind? You seem unwell," Ana said kindly.
Elena continued staring but inside she was roiling with emotions…all of them vicious. Fury, hatred, malevolence, resentment…there weren't enough words to describe the swirling pit of fiery bile roaring through Elena's gut. As Ana handed her a drink of cold water, Elena's breathing began to slow as she came to terms with what she was seeing. This wasn't her imagination. This was real. She was back. After everything Elena had done to ensure that Grey's little slut was gone for good, here she was… back in the catbird seat. It was clear that Ana didn't remember Elena…yet. Still, how long before the simpleton woke up?
"Do we know each other, ma'am?" Ana said politely and unknowingly infuriating Elena. Five years of living on a farm, with no access to beauty salons and the myriad of potions that Elena needed daily to maintain her youthful appearance and yet, Ana looked not a day older than when Elena dropped her off at the Miller farm. She, in fact, looked quite beautiful. Elena admitted this to herself only because it was one of the reasons that she hated Ana. Elena remembered when she had been beautiful without the aid of moisturizers, toners, retinols, foundations, blush….an entire army of crèmes crowding her vanity top. Now, every day was a struggle to look younger, fresher. It wasn't only her personal vanity that required all these potions but her need to look stunning to her clients at her salon. She had to look years younger, bright and shining, in order to sell her product. Her clients looked at her and wanted to look like her so they would think nothing of paying $100 for a jar of some crème.
And here was Ana who probably did no more than wash her face.
"May I sit?" Elena asked.
"Of course, please do. Are you one of my husband's employees? I assumed so because you were in his study. Did you find what you needed?"
"Yes, I did, I'm afraid. The materials I found have changed everything and made future endeavors completely different from what had been planned. I will not be able to attain what I have worked toward for so long. My future…."
Elena looked at Ana with resignation. "Did you ever work so hard for something only to have to finally accept that you've lost? Did you ever have someone foil your plans at every turn? Did you ever have someone take from you that which was your due?"
As Elena spoke, Ana could hear the edge in her voice and something about it scratched at her brain.
"I do understand. I had a good life. I was pregnant and my husband and I were overjoyed. I gave birth to healthy babies but I was taken away from them and my husband and hidden for five years. My memory is gone now and every day is a struggle to understand my life. My children are five years old and I will never have the memories of those first years. My husband shows me movies of the babies as they grew. I'm happy to have the videos but I cry anyway because I wasn't there to help my children grow. My husband lived with utter misery believing that I was dead. I look at all the pictures of him taken while I was gone and I see how he aged enduring the agony of being without me."
"But now you're home. You have it all again. My chance is gone forever. There is no way back."
"I am so sorry for your troubles, ma'am. Perhaps there is something that my husband and I can do for you. I would like to help you, if I can. Is there anything that I can do for you?"
"Actually, yes, there is. You can be in that grave behind the farm house. You can be dead again."
CHAPTER 74
Could this meeting be any lamer? These people just like the sound of their own voices.
Well, it is a department head meeting. They're all showing off for you. Say something nice.
I don't have anything nice to say. You say something nice.
I'm not the mighty Christian Grey. They want lavish praise from you.
If I speak up, you're not going to like what I say.
I'll take my chances. I just want this done with.
"Greg, I'm going to have to interrupt you. Ros and I both have important teleconferences to attend. You may continue on with each other if you wish. I'm sure you have valuable intel to share."
As Grey and Ros left the room, she slyly glanced back.
"I don't think they believed you. They're all just staring at our backsides."
Grey guffawed a bit…the closest he came to a laugh these days.
"Is anything going on with you, Christian? I mean, aside from the usual. You seem worried on top of your usual grimness. I'm not trying to be insensitive. I'm concerned that you have more on your plate than usual. Can I do anything?"
"Thanks, but no, Ros. I know that you're buried under work and I appreciate that Gwen never calls anymore to threaten my life. Things aren't going to turn around any time soon, either. Maybe you ought to look into an assistant COO."
"I guess that I kept hoping that the workload would lighten but you're right. I'll get started on that right away. Gwen may not be calling you but when I get home at night, she goes for my throat."
"I've been meaning to talk to you about filling in as CEO anyway."
"What! I've been afraid of this. How much time off do you need?"
"I don't know. I haven't thought enough about it but I'm so tired, Ros. Taking the family and getting gone for a while seems necessary. I'm not sure that I'm even doing any good around here anymore. I'm making mistakes. I know I am. The Christian Grey who built this company seems to lack the fire to grow it now."
"I wish I could disagree with you on that last point but you're right. The last five years this place has been more a burden than an inspiration for you." Ros patted him on his back as she veered off down her own hallway to her office.
Grey continued on to his office as his phone vibrated. He broke into a big smile when he saw that the call was from Ana.
"Hello, sweetheart! You figured out how to use the new phone. Congrats! I miss you like crazy. Is everything okay?"
"It's just lovely, my pet." Grey's heart clenched as he listened to Elena's evil laugh.
CHAPTER 75
Grey gritted his teeth. "Put Ana on the phone. Now."
"Now you're being rude to me again, boy. I don't know where I went wrong with you. You used to worship me."
"Elena, my home is filled with armed men," Grey growled.
"Not anymore, it isn't. I gave them a choice and they chose to leave. I'm certain that Taylor will be sweeping into your office at any moment to alert you."
She was right. Taylor was suddenly at Grey's side, taking the cell phone out of his hand before he crushed it.
"Mrs. Lincoln, this is Taylor. I will be returning to the penthouse as soon as possible with Mr. Grey. I'm sure that you two will be able to come to some agreement."
Elena let loose with an high-pitched cackle that forced Taylor to move the earpiece away from his face. Then the line went dead.
Christian's face was gray. He wasn't angry. He was terrified.
"Taylor, what went wrong? Is Ana all right?"
"Allowing Mrs. Lincoln to retain the elevator code was a tactical error on our part. We were trying to keep her from becoming suspicious but we only allowed her entry. Ryan saw her come off the elevator and kept his eye on her. She went into your study for a while."
"Oh, god. Taylor, Welch's report on her was sitting right on top of my desk. She knows that we're on to her. She doesn't have anything to lose anymore."
"Ryan was so focused on Elena that he didn't see Ana come out from your bedroom. They talked for a few minutes and it all looked harmless but then Elena pulled a gun. She announced that every man in the place should show themselves and then she told them to leave or she'd shoot Ana. I'm sure that she won't do anything just yet. She wants to taunt you."
With those words, Taylor opened Grey's car door and made sure that his seat belt was buckled before speeding off to Escala. He hoped that what he'd said to Grey was the truth. If they arrived home to a dead Ana, Grey would not survive the loss this time.
CHAPTER 76
When Taylor and Grey arrived home, they found the street blocked off, filled with cop cars and people wearing FBI jackets. Paparazzi were everywhere. Between the flashes, the blue and red blinking lights of the cop cars, it was hard to see clearly. Taylor pulled the Mercedes into the first clear space he could find. He and Grey had to walk a block to the nearest cop who recognized them immediately and took them to the officer in charge.
"Mr. Grey, I'm Captain Andrews and this is Special Agent Johnson of the FBI. Your security detail is right over there. However, the guy in blue tells me that not all of the detail left the building. Two men, Ryan and Reynolds, hid somewhere. Your guys tell me that Mrs. Lincoln is certain that everyone left. They also tell us that this Mrs. Lincoln is, excuse my language, bat-shit crazy. She's been ranting at your wife and half of it makes no sense. Ryan has been able to text messages to us but so far we haven't found a way to get in without alerting Lincoln."
"She wants me," Grey muttered. Then in a stronger voice, he said, "Text Ryan and Reynolds to stay out of the way. Taylor and I are going up."
"Sir," Johnson said, "I'm afraid that I can't let you do that. Our swat team is in place and ready to go. We'll take care of things from here on. We're trained to deal with hostage situations."
"And I'm just the husband of the woman the bat-shit crazy broad wants to kill," Grey snarled.
"Agent Johnson, we're going up." Taylor's voice was frim. "I am familiar with your methods and they're going to get Mrs. Grey killed. The only way to calm Mrs. Lincoln and divert her attention is to give her what she wants…Mr. Grey."
As both Agent Johnson and Captain Andrews tried to dissuade Taylor, Grey put up his hand to halt the conversation.
"I'm sure that you are both aware of my wealth, my influence and, most of all, the kind of man I can be when I want my own way. Continue to hinder my access to my wife and I will devote the rest of my life to ruining both of yours." Grey's glare convinced both men to back off.
Taylor and Grey made their way through the crowd, ignoring the paparazzi and the objections of the swat team. Remarkably, Charlie was still at his post. He dashed ahead of Taylor and called down the elevator car. The two men embarked and entered the code for the penthouse. Both were sweating, angry and afraid of what they might find when the doors opened on the 20th floor.
As the doors opened, the men could hear Elena madly raging. Most of her anger was directed at Ana, it seemed. The men stood in the foyer. Grey spoke.
"Elena, I'm here."
Elena was sitting next to Ana, who had blood on the side of her head from where Elena had hit her with the gun. Elena now had her Glock pressed into Ana's side. At the sound of Grey's voice, her head snapped around. The expression on her face was indeed bat-shit crazy.
"Aw, my pet. What took you so long? I'm afraid that I lost my temper and clocked your wife." She laughed like a hyena.
"Ana," Christian spoke, "are you all right?"
Ana looked up at her husband. He'd suffered so and now he was going to have to watch this woman he hated murder his wife…again.
"Christian," she said sadly, "I'm sorry. I love you. Always remember that."
CHAPTER 77
Grace had just turned on the television so the kids could watch cartoons. However, there were no cartoons on any station. Every station was news. The banner running at the bottom of the screen identified the location as Seattle and, specifically, the plush condominium complex of Escala.
"Carrick, Carrick!"
"Too early to be yelling at me, Grace," Carrick responded.
"Come here! Something is wrong at Escala!" Everyone rushed into the media room, including the kids. Mary and Jeb quickly hustled the children out of the room and out to the stables. Ali and Theo were soon distracted by the opportunity for a trail ride.
Grace picked up the phone, instinctively knowing that it was Elliot.
"Mom, put this on speaker. Get Mia out of bed."
As Carrick ran to get Mia, Grace stared at the screen. She was able to see the same chaos that Taylor and Christian had been greeted with when they arrived at Escala. It was terrifying to see and Grace was shaking as Mia ran up and embraced her.
"Elliot, what is happening? Is Kate with you?"
"She's in New York, probably pissed to be missing a big story. Try to stay calm, Mom. You know Christian. He's a rock and smart."
"What is happening, son?" Carrick demanded to know.
"Elena has taken Ana hostage. Ryan texted me that she seems to have lost her mind. She had some plan to get rid of Ana and it didn't work. She's the one behind Ana's fake death. When she walked into Escala and found Ana alive and well, she cracked. Now she's got a gun in Ana's side. She wants Christian to watch Ana die."
"Oh my god," Grace gasped. "Carrick…" He put his arms around his wife and daughter even though he didn't know if he had the strength to make it through this.
"Dad, I'm going to stay on the line with you in case I get anymore texts from Ryan. Oh, I didn't tell you that he and Reynolds are still hidden inside the penthouse."
"Well, why the hell don't they just shoot the woman?"
"She's right on top of Ana, Dad. They can't get a clear shot and they're afraid that being shot would make her body react by pulling the trigger. Christian and Taylor are inside now. I'll let you know anything when I do. Are the kids okay?"
"Yes. Mary and Jeb took them outside."
The kids were happily bouncing along on their favorite mares while Mary and Jeb tried their hardest to be cheerful. Mary reached for Jeb's hand. He squeezed it hard. They prayed.
In New York, Kate was glued to her TV screen. She'd already tried calling Elliot but he didn't answer and she knew that he was probably talking to his family. But she needed him, too. If she lost her best friend again…well, she didn't know how she'd make it this time. Elliot. Elliot.
Her phone rang.
"Hi, baby." Kate began to sob. "No, no, sweetie. Don't cry and don't worry. I have faith in Christian. I know things about him that you don't."
"Elliot, I'm scared to death, so scared. I can't lose Ana again."
"You're not going to, Katie girl. I swear to you. I know Christian. Trust me, can you? It will all be okay."
CHAPTER 78
Christian slowly and calmly made his way to stand in front of Elena and Ana who were still sitting on the couch. He could now clearly see the wound on Ana's temple and the gun pressed against her side. Elena was grinning maniacally, crazy written all over her. A memory flashed through Grey's mind…the same look on Elena's face when she was beating his groin with a studded cane, a ball gag in his mouth as he was suspended from the ceiling. He also remembered how strong and still he had to be to survive that beating. She had finally given up when he gave her no satisfaction.
"What do you want, Elena?" he said softly. "Will the pain on my face be enough for you? Surely, you require more repayment than that from me. You made me the man I am today, isn't that right?"
"Damn straight, you ungrateful brat!" Elena screeched. The gun moved just the slightest bit as Elena shook with rage.
Christian strolled casually toward the doors to the balcony, pushing them open and taking a deep breath.
"You've no idea, Elena, how many times I stood on this balcony, wanting to dive off. Only the thought of my children sleeping upstairs kept me from taking that leap. Wasn't five years of hell enough for you?"
Turning back to Elena, he asked, "How would you have felt if I'd killed myself to be with Ana?"
His eyes darkening, he looked deep into Elena's eyes. "Really, how would you have felt knowing that my death was in vain? I would no longer suffer but Ana would still be alive. She wouldn't suffer my loss because she wouldn't remember me. Doesn't seem like you thought this through, Elena."
Elena was feeling dizzy. She was struggling to maintain control. His eyes were mesmerizing. What had he asked her? She shook her head and when she looked up again, Christian was suddenly closer. He was standing, hands in his pockets, looking down at her nonchalantly as if they were having a simple conversation.
"You used me to make you a great man, a man of wealth and then you treated me like garbage," she hissed at him.
He said nothing. He just stared down at her, fire in his eyes. Elena felt compelled to look away. She realized that he was using his Dom on her…and it was working. No, no, she told herself. I am the premier dominatrix of Seattle. I control him. He does not control me. Oh, but she was tired. She'd been working so hard for so long and she'd lost her edge. He didn't obey her any more. And it was all Ana's fault. She'd somehow bewitched him.
Elena forced herself to look again into Christian's eyes. It was over. She'd lost. She looked beyond Christian to the balcony. There was one thing she could do to punish both of them and to free herself. She shoved the gun into Ana's side and ordered her to stand up. Ana had lost blood from her head wound and she'd grown sleepy. She didn't respond to Elena's command. She began to slump against her instead.
"Stand up or I'll put a bullet in Christian's head!" Elena yelled. Ana heard the threat and struggled to her feet. She was dizzy, too, but she was alert to any danger to her husband. Elena would shoot her and then she would kill Christian as well. Ana tried desperately to make her head work. It was so hard. It felt as it had when she woke up at the farm, buzzing and clanging and whirling.
Elena held tightly to Ana, pulling her backward toward the balcony. Christian tried to stay between them and the balcony but Elena twisted sideways, facing Christian, showing him the gun in Ana's side. As Christian realized Elena's intentions, his Dom began to weaken as his fear for Ana grew stronger. He summoned every last bit of Dom he had left and kicked the gun's muzzle away from Ana. In that moment Elena pulled the trigger. The bullet grazed Ana's back and she mewled in pain.
Elena had never actually fired the gun, only pointed it at people. She didn't anticipate the kickback. For a brief second, she lost her balance and teetered on her six-inch Louboutin's, reaching out to grab Ana. Christian lunged and pulled Ana away and into his arms as Elena flailed her arms in a futile attempt to avoid falling over the balcony railing. Christian put Ana's head against his chest and his hand over her ear. It wasn't enough. She could still hear Elena's ghastly screaming for 20 floors.
Far below, people jumped out of the way as Elena smashed into the concrete in front of Escala. For a long minute, everyone was frozen. Two EMTs approached the corpse. Even with all their experience, a body falling 300 feet into concrete was a gruesome sight, a bloody pulp. The paparazzi leaned closer to get their pictures. Elena would have been appalled at her appearance and certainly would have demanded the right to do a bit of primping before being photographed.
In the penthouse, Ryan ran from his hiding spot. He unlocked the coded elevator so that EMTs could get to the 20th floor to help Ana. She was bleeding from her head and now from the spot on her back that the bullet had grazed. He grabbed towels from the kitchen and applied pressure to Ana's wounds as Christian laid her down on the couch. Neither was serious but the blood loss combined with the entire trauma had made her woozy.
"Can I ask, sir, what you were thinking to open the doors to the balcony? I had a pretty good bead on Mrs. Lincoln's head, ya know?"
"I meant it as a distraction, to turn her head from Ana. You know, the hand follows the eye. I thought that she would move the gun from Ana's side. Sorry, Ryan. I didn't know what you were doing."
"That was damn close, sir. I guess I'm just a little shook still. I haven't seen that much action since Afghanistan." Perhaps an exaggeration but still…
CHAPTER 79
"Ana, sweetheart, look at me," Christian pleaded. The EMTs were urging him to get out of their way so they could properly tend to their patient but it was if he couldn't hear them.
"Mr. Grey, please move aside so we can do our jobs." Finally, he acceded to a few inches. The EMTs asked Ana to respond to several commands, aggravating Christian. "If she won't react to me, her husband, why would she react to you?" he grumbled. "She loves me. She said so." The EMTs exchanged "what the hell" looks as they continued to assess Ana's wounds.
"Is she all right? Why doesn't she speak? Did she lose too much blood? Shouldn't we get her to the hospital? Ana, please look at me, darling."
"Mr. Grey, your wife is in shock. She can't really hear you right now. We're treating her for the shock and tending to her wounds. The blood from the blow to her head looks worse than it is but she'll need a cat scan to determine any damage. The bullet graze on her back caused more blood loss but not critical. We're dressing her wounds and then we'll move her to the stretcher and take her to Seattle Memorial."
"No, take her to Seattle General. That's our family's hospital. My mother is an attending there. She's flying in now."
"Okay, Mr. Grey. Now, you'll have to back up a few feet so that we can get your wife unto the stretcher. No, Mr. Grey, it's our job to move your wife. You don't have to pick her up. Yes, we understand that you want to carry her to the stretcher but, again, we're trained in transporting people with injuries."
It was a serious situation, especially to Grey, but the exasperated EMTs were a source of amusement to Grey's security detail. Taylor kept trying to reason with Grey but it was useless. Grey was a scared husband and they were, by nature, unreasonable. As the EMTs and Grey entered the elevator, Taylor instructed Ryan to go along to the hospital and stick with Grey. Taylor would stay behind for now and deal with the police and the FBI. Ryan sighed and followed orders. It would be his duty to deal with Grey, to try to talk sense into him when need be, and he knew it would not be an easy chore. When it came to his wife, Grey was nearly impossible to control.
.+.
"I don't see why I can't use my phone, Carrick," Grace whined.
"We're in the air, dear. Please relax. The worst is over. Ana is not seriously hurt and we'll be in Seattle in very soon."
Mary and Jeb were holding the children on their laps as the foursome napped. The trail ride, the rush to pack, the excitement and worry, had worn on everyone. Gail had talked with Taylor who told her to call when she landed. He didn't know if he'd still be at Escala or if he'd be at the hospital by then. His nerves were shot and he needed to hold her. He complained that he was getting too old to deal with these Greys and Gail laughed. She knew that Jason would never leave them, especially now with the children.
The vacation at the ranch had been a good diversion but the climax had battered their nerves. When they landed, they would have to deal with the children's questions about mommy and their fears that they would lose her again. Taylor had said that Ana's wounds were superficial and that was comforting.
Carrick was having to deal with his poor wife's shattered emotions. She was so confused and wounded herself. Why did her best friend try to kill Grace's beloved daughter-in-law? Carrick pulled Grace unto his lap and hoped that she would sleep for a while but she was too disturbed to relax. She burrowed into his chest and cried. He would like to take her away for an extended vacation after the drama died down but he knew that she wouldn't go. He'd have a hard enough time dragging her away from Ana. He sighed and kissed Grace's head.
CHAPTER 80
"No, Elliot. I'll take this commercial flight. It's very sweet of you to upgrade me to first class. It'll keep me from killing my fellow passengers. Elliot, in the time I wait for your brother's jet to get to New York, this flight will be landing at Sea-Tac. Just please come get me. I can't wait to see you. Also, remind your brother that I get the exclusive. As long as Ana is going to be all right, I want to do the story.
"I am not a cold-blooded news hound! Now that the worst is over and Ana is alive, my mind has simply switched back to reporter mode. Besides, this story could get me that transfer to Seattle that we both want. I don't like New York. It's too big and noisy and you're not here. I don't know when we're landing. I can't get the flight attendant's attention and I'm in first class! Just be there.
"Oh, I've just been told to turn off my phone. I love you, Elliot. See you soon."
Elliot sighed. Kate was going to irritate Christian…just when they had become closer. He'd have to get to his brother through his sister. Mia could always talk Christian into anything. Well, anything except the Porsche that she'd craved since she was 20. Too dangerous…even if he had it custom made. Elliot had to laugh. It reminded him of that Christmas movie the entire family watched every year and the little boy who so wanted a Red Ryder rifle but was told that he'd shoot his eye out. Christian had been reiterating a similar argument with Mia all these years. So, she'd climbed into her mini-Hummer and grunted about driving a tank while Christian smiled about installing the roll-over bars. Mia had already been in three semi-serious accidents and walked away unhurt so she'd accepted that she'd be driving a tank forever…or until she decided to pay for her own car.
"Mia, could I borrow your tank to go pick up Kate at Sea-Tac in a few hours?"
"Sure, but what's wrong with your truck?"
"Your tank is cleaner and safer. I'm a little shook up to be driving at all."
"Here's the keys. Sorry. I don't think my Hummer is cleaner. You might want to tidy up while we're waiting for word. I'll call the minute the doctor appears."
"Thanks, sis. I'm not too worried but I am a bit concerned about the cat scan results. Ana took a bad blow to the head."
Before he left for the parking lot, Elliot knelt down by his brother. "I'll be gone for a while. Be strong. I know that Ana is going to be all right. Mia will call me if anything happens while I'm cleaning out her Hummer." Christian looked at Mia as Elliot left.
"You have a lot of loose debris in your vehicle, Mia? What did I tell you about that?"
Mia sighed. "In an accident, flying debris can hit me and kill me."
Elliot, please be sure to batten down any heavy materials lying loose in Mia's car.
She's got a gun in here!
"Mia! Why do you have a gun?!"
"Protection, Christian. You know that I failed that Martial Arts course you made me take."
Christian shook his head. His little sister would be the death of him yet…unless his wife beat her to it. "Mia, keep the gun in the glove box. If you were in a collision…"
"The flying gun could decapitate me. Yes, Christian, I remember. However, I needed the room in the glove box to store all those papers and my actual gloves and a mini-umbrella." As she noted the "long lecture coming" look on her brother's face, she hastily promised to always keep the gun in the glove box.
"Have you taken any training on how to use the gun?"
"You just don't think I have any sense at all, do you, bro? I do own and operate a highly successful restaurant, you know. Yes, I took training at both the gun shop and with the police. I can break down, clean and rebuild that puppy in less time than you use to brush your teeth."
Christian grunted. Mia wasn't sure if it was a reluctant approval grunt or a disapproval. Well, he'd gone back to looking at the floor so for now she was safe. Her whole family hated fire arms of any kind. They'd grown up being lectured about the dangers of owning guns. God, she hoped that Christian didn't tell their parents. He'd have a point if he did disapprove. She had a couple of coverts following her at all times. Still, she felt safer having her little gun nearby.
The double doors to the hallway flew open as a doctor walked in.
CHAPTER 81
Elliot, doctor just walked in.
Before he'd even finished reading Mia's text, Elliot came flying into the waiting room. He ran up to the doctor and demanded that he start from the beginning.
"I'd just begun. Who are you?"
"Ana's brother-in-law, more brother than in-law, however."
"Okay, you just took me by surprise. You're a real big guy," the doctor remarked, looking up at the muscled blonde hunk before him. Damn, chances are he's straight.
"Mr. Grey, your wife has a minor contusion which has left her with a moderate concussion. She did need a few stitches on her scalp. She took a hard hit. The wound on her back is also stitched up and will just require time to heal. She lost a fair amount of blood, mostly from the head wound so she'll be weak and easily fatigued for a while. Your mother, one of our finest," he said as he smiled at her, "will take good care of your wife while she recuperates. And, may I say as one who watched every second of the video coverage, I am happy to have been her doctor."
Christian ignored the doctor's attempts to be ingratiating. "I want to see Ana."
Trailed by Dr. Trevelyan and her son, the doctor walked down the corridor to Ana's room. The nurses had just settled Ana in and attached an IV line as Christian demanded that Ana be transferred to the best private room in the hospital. Grace smiled wryly as she saw the pissed off looks on the nurses' faces. She guessed that she should have warned them. Whoops.
When Ana was resettled in her new suite, Christian sat next to her and took her hand. She was still unconscious from the sedation so he'd have to wait a while. He was not a patient man. He needed to see Ana's eyes. He needed to talk with her before he could relax a little. Grace came in and watched the monitor, telling her son not to pay too much attention. They were just monitoring Ana's vital signs. Then she sat quietly in the chair on the other side of Ana's bed.
Grace was coping with her own feelings, her grief at losing her best friend and at finding out that that friend…well, wasn't. Twenty plus years of deceit. Grace was numb, so numb that the heartbreak would hit hard when it was time to face it. Carrick was watching her closely. His own anger at Elena was tearing at him but he couldn't let Grace see it.
After what seemed like forever, Ana began to mumble. She opened her eyes and looked at Christian.
"Are you real? Am I dead again?"
Christian smiled at his wife. "I'm real. You're alive. Elena is dead."
"She seemed so dismayed that I asked her if I could do anything for her. She said that I could get dead again. I didn't understand. She grabbed my arm and pulled me down on the couch and then pulled a gun out of her bag. I tried to stand up but she hit me with the gun and….and…"
"She knocked you out, Ana. Then she called me." Christian went on to tell the rest of the story. He particularly liked the part where Elena fell off the balcony. He'd always hated those stilettoes but this time, he was grateful for them. Six inches shorter and Elena would have just knocked into the rail. As long as she lived, he'd have to worry about her coming after Ana one way or another. His albatross was gone.
The door squeaked open by just a few inches…enough for Kate to pop her head in. "I know, Ana is only allowed family visits but I lied." She smiled with relief at Ana who smiled back. "You are my best friend," she said. A tear trickled down Kate's cheek. She nodded.
"The waiting room is filled with your relatives so I'm going to give them a crack at you but I'll be back. No drama while I'm gone, you hear me?" Ana nodded.
"What is drama, Christian?" He chuckled. "Kate, for starters, but she is referring to you being taken hostage by Elena. Do you remember anything after she hit you with her gun? No? That's okay. Perhaps it's better that way."
Not only was Elena's death news but also the identity of others present in the penthouse, including the supposedly long diseased wife of multi-billionaire Christian Grey. The PR department of GEH put out a brief release to say that Mrs. Lincoln had been behind the faked death of Ana Grey five years earlier.
The Seattle Nooz, however, made much ado with little information.
Long Dead Wife of Multi-billionaire Christian Grey is Found Alive
Dead and Buried Ana Grey is Back from her Grave.
The shocking events of this afternoon, culminating in the death of society doyen, Elena Lincoln, from a fall from the 20th floor penthouse of Christian Grey, were apparently preceded by the discovery that Anastasia Grey, thought deceased these past five years, had been found alive and well. She has, sources say, been living in the penthouse for several weeks. The news of her return has been a well-kept secret to safeguard her from further attempts on her life.
The Nooz has been trying to find out where Ana Grey has been all this time, how her death was faked and why but the notoriously private Grey family has revealed nothing more than they were forced to by this afternoon's events.
Elena Lincoln was the owner of the Elite Salons and was known for her close friendship with Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey. We can only imagine Dr. Grey's state of mind at this time. Ana Grey's death was a terrible shock to her family and the city of Seattle. Now we wonder…where has she been for five years and who is buried in her grave?
We will continue to petition GEH and the Grey family for information in our ongoing efforts to keep you, our readers, in the know. Stay tuned.
Elena Lincoln dies in tragic fall
Elena Lincoln, age unknown, has died due to a fall of nearly 300 feet from the 20th floor penthouse of her friend and business partner, multi-billionaire Christian Grey. Police sources say that the fall was accidental and that no charges will be filed. At the time of the accident, the front entrance of the posh building, Escala, was surrounded by police, FBI, swat teams and innumerable paparazzi…all of whom saw Mrs. Lincoln fall to her death. Sources tell us that law enforcement was present due to a hostage situation in the Grey penthouse. We do not yet know who was the hostage and who was the hostage taker. Perhaps Mrs. Lincoln was a hapless bystander. Due to potential litigation, the Nooz is unable to speculate as to the state of mind of the recently back-from-the-dead Mrs. Anastasia Grey.
CHAPTER 82
"Dad, this rag is implying that Ana is crazy and pushed Elena off the balcony," Grey growled. "Sue the arseholes."
"Son, they're just trying to provoke you into giving up more information. If you sue them, you'll have to tell all, playing right into their ink-stained hands. Let Kate have her exclusive. Kate and Elliot will be happy. Ana will be happy and the New York Times will be happy."
"Dad is right, Christian. If you do no more than allow GEH to send out a brief press release, the Nooz will continue to play their guessing game and this will go on and on. Kate will do a classy article and withhold any informationyou want to keep quiet. This is a major national story and you have to deal."
Christian stood up and paced the room with his usual habit of tearing his hands through his hair, his face turning red.
"I have to deal? I HAVE TO DEAL?! My wife dies after giving birth to our children. I hold her cold hand for an hour and then have to watch her casket lowered six feet down. I want to drive off a cliff but I can't because I have to be a good father. For more than five years I live without her, knowing that I somehow have to stay alive for maybe 50 more years before I can get out of this unbearable hell on earth and you tell me that I STILL have to deal?! Last week Ana nearly died again and I had to deal with that!
"When do I get free of all this dealing?! Huh, Mia?"
Carrick put an arm around his daughter as she began to weep. "I'm sorry, Christian. That was a thoughtless word to use. But you weren't the only one crying into your pillow. I lost my sister. The last five years were terrible. I needed her so badly."
Christian looked down at his little sister and then he dropped to his knees and embraced her. "I'm sorry, too, Mia. I've been so deep in my own despair that I didn't think much about anyone else's feelings."
"I know, Christian. Of course, you suffered more than any of us. We all know that. I don't know how you hung on all this time. What was it like when you first saw her again?"
Christian was able to smile. Elliot and Grace had joined them now in Carrick's study upon hearing all the fireworks.
"I heard her singing first. Mary and Jeb told us that Bitty was feeding a lamb who'd been rejected by her mother. I knew her voice but it had been five years and I didn't trust my memory. I crept up to the stall where she was sitting on the hay-covered floor. Her back was to me as she held the lamb. The only light was from a lantern and it was shining off her hair. I couldn't see her face but I knew that gleam in her hair. Together with her voice and the light I just knew it was her and I fell to my knees. I couldn't look up at her for a moment. I just held my face in my hands, silently begging a deity that I don't believe in to give me back my wife. Then I felt her hands lifting my head. I opened my eyes, looked into her blue eyes and listened as she said my name. She recognized me from her dreams but she didn't know who I was to her. I wish I could find the words to say how I felt but I can't. I doubt there are words to describe discovering that the love of your life is not dead after all. The woman I thought was forever gone from me was touching my face and speaking to me. I just pulled her as close to me as possible to keep her from disappearing."
"Wow. Kate is going to write a completely fabulous story. In fact, I'll wager that she goes on to write a book. You have to let her, please, Christian. Not only for us but for your kids. It will probably be the best book they ever read in their lives."
"I don't know, Mia. I'll have to talk to Ana about that. She enjoys the stories I tell her about the children. Maybe she'd like a book about the five years with them that she missed.
"She still has so much healing to do. Bits and pieces of her memory have returned but whether we can expect more than that, I don't know. Perhaps, once that poison is out of her system entirely, we might get lucky. I'd like her to at least be able to remember her pregnancy. Maybe that would ease the pain of missing her children's first five years. That is a source of great distress for her. She's trying to come to terms with that loss."
"Christian, Ana is awake and looking for you. Why don't you go up and rest until dinner? And someone toss that rag in the fireplace. I'm going to forbid Margaret from bringing it into the house anymore. She can leave it in the van and read it when she gets home."
"How is Ana, Mom?"
"Feeling better. The medication is dulling the pain in her head…although, you know Ana. She could be in agony and she'd hide it. Still, I think she's much better."
Christian kissed his mother's cheek gratefully. She'd taken a leave of absence from her job to keep a close eye on Ana. She didn't tell Christian that she was concerned about Ana's state of mind. Perhaps they ought to invite Dr. Flynn to dinner to assess Ana's spirits. Lord knows, he kept her son from going completely mad these past years.
CHAPTER 83
Mary and Jeb were playing Jinga in the media room with Theo and Ali. Spending time with their step-grandchildren was now their greatest joy. Every night as they lay in bed talking they marveled at their new life. It still did not seem real to them. It was a kind of life they'd never dreamed they would have…or want to have. These English and their ways were not the ways of the devil as they'd grown up being told. They were the kindest of people…generous and warm and certainly not as judgmental as their former families and neighbors. They laughed, thinking how shocked their former community would be at their current circumstances.
Mary and Jeb no longer felt in the way or the recipients of charity or gratitude because they'd cared for Bitty. They felt valued members of a family. And such a family. After leaving their own families and their close-knit communities, they had given up hope of ever being part of a larger whole again. Yet, now they had not only Bitty but her husband and children and in-laws. Family dinners were large affairs. Elliot and Kate would marry soon and then, maybe before too long, there would be babies.
Barely educated and certainly not in the English way, yet they never felt like the odd ones out. After dinner, Jeb would sit out on the patio with Carrick and Elliot and talk with ease and the comfortable rhythm of old friends. Sometimes, Christian would join them on the odd occasion that he could tear himself away from Ana. That boy sure was in love.
Mary, Grace, Mia and Kate would sit inside and laugh. Sometimes the men would stop in their own conversation and wonder what the devil was so almighty hilarious that the women just never stopped laughing. Carrick said that he had a suspicion that the men were the subject matter.
"You have to be real gentle, Jeb, when you play Jinga," Theo chastised his playmate.
"You wait until you're my age, little mister. You'll find that your fingers aren't quite so steady, either."
"You're not supposed to be rude to your elders, Theo," Ali scolded her brother. "Gramma said that we're supposed to learn from Mary and Jeb…not tell them how to do things. You couldn't ride a horse if it weren't for Jeb. Mary says I'm a natural."
The kids did a bit more squabbling before Elliot walked in to glare down at them. "It's almost bedtime. Pack up the game and go on upstairs. If they're not sick of your mouthing-off, maybe Mary and Jeb will finish that story they started."
"Please Mary and Jeb," the children begged and, of course, were granted their wish. They followed the kids up the stairs, being a bit tuckered out themselves. As they passed Ana's and Christian's room, they knocked lightly.
"Come in," said a soft voice. The kids would have loved to jump on their mother but she wasn't quite well yet so they climbed up carefully. She winced a little but tried to hide it. "How are my babies tonight? Did you play nicely with Mary and Jeb?"
"Mostly. Theo said that Jeb was playing wrong," Ali smirked.
"We don't tattle unless it's a matter of safety," Christian warned. Ali sighed.
"We just came in to say goodnight. We love you, mommy and daddy, too." There were hugs and kisses and then Christian and Ana were alone again.
"Christian, I want to have a baby," Ana said quietly. She knew that he was scared. He sat up against the headboard and wrapped his arms around his wife. "I know you do, my love. However, you're not well enough yet to handle a pregnancy. You heard the doctor. I'm not just being overly cautious."
"I know. I'm trying to get well as quickly as possible."
"I don't think you can rush this. You have to rest and then rest some more. I love you too much to take any chances. It's only recently that Dr. Emory felt that you are strong enough to handle birth control chemicals in your body. You've been poisoned for years."
"The children are already five. I don't want there to be too large a gap between them and a new sibling."
"I've thought of that, too, but I'm not willing to risk your health…for any reason. Say, I haven't heard you say it all day. Tell me."
"I love you, Christian. I'm sorry that I made you wait. I just had to be sure. When I thought that I was about to die, there wasn't any time left. I couldn't be cautious any more. I had to say it. I think I loved you all along…in my dreams. I love you. I love you. I love you," Ana beamed up at her delighted husband as he lowered his lips to hers and then began to make gentle love to her.
CHAPTER 84
"Taylor, this is Bob Parks over at the Seattle PD."
"Hello, Parks. Dare I hope that you have any new information about Dr. Greene or Richard Peterson?"
"It isn't much but then you asked that I contact you with any trickle of info. A source in Mexico called to say that a new female doctor began to work at a free clinic in Ciudad Juarez. Her description matches our Dr. Greene except that this one has shorn hair and it's gray. That's certainly possible considering her age. However, here's the kicker. She's been patronizing an underground BDSM club. Still, she has Mexican credentials alleging that she was born in the city. She speaks the language fluently. She also wears glasses whereas our Dr. Greene had 20/20 vision."
"Parks, I'd say that that is quite a bit to go on. Do you have an address? The name of the clinic? Did you give the info to the FBI?"
"I should have but I know how you and your boss operate so I'm giving you first crack at this dame. I'll text you the contact info after this call. Frankly, I also don't quite trust the FBI to get busy on this without a lot of push from you. They figure they got the ringleader and they have a lot of candidates more worthy of their attention…like cartel capos. If you could pick up one of those while you're down there, I'm sure the FBI would appreciate your help."
Taylor chuckled. "After they grilled my men, my boss and Mrs. Grey…being suspicious of how Elena made it over that railing…we're not feeling too kindly toward the FBI. I mean, for Christ's sake, we had film of the whole thing and they took it apart frame by frame trying to show that Ana or Christian pushed Elena.
"This doctor cared more about her own reputation being tarnished than protecting her patient. She was trusted implicitly with Ana's safety and health. We want her more than Peterson."
"Well, good luck to you. I wish I had the jurisdiction to help you out but we have a few murders to work on here. Say, how is Mrs. Grey?"
"She's recuperating here at Grey Manor. Dr. Trevelyan took time off to attend to her. She's getting there physically but she's real quiet most of the time. We're all still worried about her, especially my wife. If Ana wasn't such a doll, I'd miss the uncomplicated olden days of the snarling, miserable son-of-a-bitch that Grey used to be."
Parks laughed and then rang off without further ado. Taylor didn't notice. He wasn't one to bid goodbye either. He immediately called a contact in Mexico City to ask that she check out the new doc in Ciudad Juarez. She promised to get a photo and whatever information she could find back to Taylor as soon as possible. She was…well, moved wasn't the right word…horrified by what the doc had done. Being buried alive was a real fear in a poor area where the dead were not embalmed and, therefore, could conceivably wake up six feet under.
Taylor decided to wait until he had absolutely everything possible on this doctor before speaking with Grey. He would prefer, in fact, to have her in custody. Grey was like dry tinder when it came to finding the people who'd "killed" his wife. He'd go off like a volcano given even a hint of this woman's guilt.
Grey Manor was a packed house these days. Christian's family, including his new in-laws, Mary and Jeb, had taken over three guest rooms. Taylor, Gail and Elliot had also moved in and Carrick's office was now doubling as a security office. Luckily, Elliot's condo was just a block down from the Manor so there was a place for all the covert's to bunk between shifts. Even though Elena was dead, Grey was concerned that Greene and Peterson might have some interest in the family. Taylor was certain that their interest was in hiding forever but he could be wrong. Perhaps one of them feared being discovered and thought finishing what Elena had started might be a good idea. Who could be sure of how such criminal minds worked? People who would be willing to see a woman buried alive could be capable of anything.
Having taken care of business, Taylor decided to make his rounds to check on everyone. He watched Ana and the children reading together in the library while Christian pretended to work on his laptop. Then he checked the monitors in the security office and texted every covert for updates. He had someone on every window in the house. He discretely pulled down shades in whatever room Ana was in…snipers always uppermost in his mind. Gail could read his mind and she'd often position herself between Ana and the nearest window. Taylor would be damned if his wife was going to take a bullet for anyone.
The family had caught on pretty quickly to Taylor's efforts to shield his charges…those being pretty much everyone in the house. Sometimes the children would ask questions…like why was Uncle Taylor closing all the blinds in the dining room during dinner. Mia would tell them that her skin was sensitive to the sun even though Seattle sun was rather rare. It was easy to believe, however, since Mia's skin was milky white. This, along with her green eyes and black hair, made it difficult for Taylor's detail to keep their minds on their jobs sometimes.
Taylor would only have to remind them of how pretty Mia would look with half her face blasted away by a sniper with a high powered rifle.
CHAPTER 86
Christian had been awake for an hour, just leaning on an elbow and looking down at his wife…his beautiful, magical wife. It had been a couple of months since he'd found her and he still sometimes woke in a cold sweat, thinking it had all been a dream. He studied every bit of her face, not that he didn't already know her entire body so well. He marveled that she and he were still so sexually compatible. At first, he feared that five years of living with the Amish would have dulled her needs. Even though she'd been a virgin when they met, he'd been surprised at her lack of fear and her curiosity. She wasn't timid and shy at all. And when they came together again, sexually it was as if she'd never been gone. He was the one who needed encouragement. She knew what she wanted and what she didn't and, thankfully, there were few things about which they disagreed…and he knew better than to try to pressure her to do something she didn't want. Besides, he would have been fine with what he would have once considered the most vanilla of sex lives just as long as it was with Ana.
He was continually surprised by himself since he met Ana… the things that he did and thought and wanted. She brought out facets of him that he'd never imagined. And he liked himself, Christian version 2.0. He found that he was a better father, a better son and brother. He hoped that he was a better husband. He reflected on his initial reaction to prospective parenthood…not something of which he was proud. He behaved badly and even took Elena's advice that he demand that Ana terminate the pregnancy.
Suddenly, he was back in that birthing room with a white and cold Ana. The memory shook him so badly that he was finding it hard to breathe. It was overwhelming and terrifying. He had to roll over onto his back, pulling Ana tight against his chest.
"Christian," Ana whispered, "I'm finding it hard to breathe."
"Oh, sorry. Just a bad memory and I needed to hold you."
"Me? Dead? I know that you have bad dreams about that, Christian. I wake up and have to calm you. I'm sure that as time goes on, you'll get used to me being alive and your subconscious will relax."
Christian didn't say anything. He really wondered if that time would ever come. Get used to having Ana? No, he knew to the end of his days that he'd never take having Ana for granted. Maybe that would be more comfortable, leave more of his brain to use for other things, but the die was cast.
He fell back to sleep and dreamt of that moment in the barn when he first saw Ana again. A miracle had happened. He didn't think that he was the kind of guy who deserved a miracle but he was going to spend the rest of his life somehow deserving Ana.
Ana had her own dreams. She never worried about Christian. She was confident about his feelings for her. In fact, her only concern regarding Christian was that he was so overwhelmed by his feelings. She tried to make him see always that he made her happy, that he needn't be concerned that she ever felt neglected.
No, Ana's nightmares were about being a poor mother. She never knew if she was doing the right things. Whenever one of the kids said something like…"daddy doesn't do it like that" or "but Aunt Mia says"…Ana had to fight hard inside herself to stop tears from falling. So many times she wanted to jump up and run. She didn't know where and she didn't know why her children could hurt her with just a few words. And then there were the times when she found out that an order she'd given was not different from that given by Gramma or Aunt Mia and that, in fact, her children had outright lied to her to avoid having to do something they didn't want to do. She took that so to heart and Christian would find her hiding in the closet again…sobbing.
He'd try to explain to her that the kids loved her very much but that they were still just kids who'd do what they could to get their own way. When they lied to her, it wasn't to hurt her. Still, he'd sit there on the closet floor and hold her until she fell asleep in his arms. She fatigued easily which discouraged her ability to handle emotional matters. He understood that her confidence in her mothering skills would be a long time coming. And he couldn't make it better by intervening…telling the kids to obey their mother. No, that wouldn't help at all.
Every day presented challenges to everyone. Everyone was aware that Ana needed to be the mother even though the children were used to the parenting being done by anyone but Ana. They would automatically call for Aunt Mia or Gramma or even Aunt Kate…sometimes even when Ana was in the room. She kept telling herself that they were children and that she was the adult but that wasn't really true. She was only five years old herself. She'd never had to make decisions about anything. Mary and Jeb took care of her. Now, overnight, she was a mother.
Mia, Grace and Kate all told Ana to reiterate to the children that no matter what anyone else said, she was the mommy. Ana nodded…not at all sure of the primacy of her position.
There were other things, too, that could knock her flat. The sudden, unexpected memory of Elena's terrible screams as she plummeted to her death would stop her cold as she was just walking through a room. Two weeks after that day, healing at Grey Manor, Ana fell to her knees as she crossed a room. Margaret heard a crash and ran into the dining area to see Ana, surrounded by broken plates, holding her hands over her ears. Everyone would be at school or work except for Mary and Jeb who were outside working on a garden. Calling them in to tend to Ana would reduce her right back to being Bitty…who could do little on her own.
Finally, Christian took Grace's advice and made an appointment with Dr. Flynn. Ana didn't want to go but she was too amiable to say no. Christian took the morning off to drive her and introduce her.
Ana was thoroughly intimidated by the doctor. He was a large, bulky man but it was more what he represented…great intelligence, a lot of education. She always felt like a stupid girl who'd never done anything or been anywhere. She knew a tiny farm really well. That, she felt, was it.
Dr. Flynn asked to speak alone with Ana. Christian's eyes filled with chagrin. He didn't want to leave Ana alone in any unfamiliar circumstance. Ana was gripping his hand with both of hers. Dr. Flynn gently suggested that they just give it a try. Christian smiled sweetly at Ana, kissed her head and left her to go and sit and fret in the waiting room while she talked with Flynn.
CHAPTER 85
"Would you like a cold drink, Mrs. Grey?" Flynn asked.
Ana, seeing that drinks were not readily available and not wanting to be a burden, shook her head no. This didn't escape Flynn's notice but he said nothing.
"Can you tell me what you're feeling right now, Mrs. Grey?" Ana was quite pale, he noted. Was she fearful?
"Fine," was all she replied.
"Do you know why you're here today?" Flynn prodded.
"Hmm…my husband thinks it will help," she answered. Her hands were trembling.
"Help with what?"
For a moment, a look of panic crossed her face. She shrugged. "He worries about me."
"What does he worry about…regarding you?" Dr. Flynn was at least three times the size of Ana and his chair was so high that he was looking down on her. He became self-conscious about this so he lowered the chair which raised his knees. He looked rather silly. This had the effect of relaxing Ana a bit.
"Oh, everything. I was gone for several years and my return to him was a great surprise. He sometimes has bad dreams about finding me again being untrue. It's very hard for him to leave me, even to go to work. And, of course, since he went to work, only to get a call from that Mrs. Lincoln and well, you know the story, it's been even harder for him to leave me."
"Well, those sound like good reasons for you to worry about his state of mind so why does he worry about yours?"
"He's quite protective of me. I've been having trouble adjusting to so many new things that sometimes I break down crying just because I'm doing everything wrong, you know?"
"How old are you, Mrs. Grey?"
"I'm 27 or 28. I'm not sure. Let's see. I married Christian when I was just 20 and I gave birth and then died when I was not yet 22. The children just turned five so I guess I'm 27. However, in years of life, in my memories? I'm only five years old, too."
"Do you have any memories of your life going back further than five years?"
"A few flashes. I did remember that the scars on Christian's chest were burns but I don't remember anything about my best friend, Kate. She hurts a lot because of that. I don't remember being pregnant or my parents. No, I don't remember anything clearly except for the past three years. Even my first two years with Mary and Jeb are quite foggy. I want to be a good wife and mother, Dr. Flynn. Can you help me figure out how to do that?"
"In talking with Christian, I don't feel that you're failing in either of those areas. I've been treating Christian for the last couple of years and the difference in his spirits since you've come home is monumental, Mrs. Grey. Your mere presence is all he needs to be happy. He did tell me that you're having trouble being pleased with yourself as a mother. Is that true?"
"Yes. I'm a bad mother."
"In what ways, are you a bad mother?"
"I don't know how to do it. My children were already five years old when I walked into their lives. They are quite smart…so much smarter than me. They have a routine that they're used to and I can offer them nothing new. They don't need me. They've always had mother figures in their aunts and their grandmother. I'm just extra."
Ana's head had been slowly lowering and now was hung down completely. Dr. Flynn saw tears drop straight unto her hands folded in her lap. He said nothing for several minutes as he tried to decide how to proceed. He hefted himself out of his chair and went to the door, asking for Christian to come in. On seeing his wife weeping, Grey immediately enveloped her in his arms and murmured soothingly to her. Dr. Flynn left the room to give them some time to themselves.
After a few minutes, he returned. Ana, now dry-eyed, looked up and apologized. He didn't waste time explaining that she needn't do so. He smiled and asked if she was feeling better. She nodded. "Christian says that you're accustomed to seeing people cry in here."
"That is quite true, Mrs. Grey."
"Please call me Ana."
"Please call me John, Ana. Now, in the sessions to come, we'll talk all we have to about your insecurities which are, I assure you, quite understandable. You've been through a most unusual ordeal and come back to a home and people you don't know. You're probably doing so much better than you've any idea. I have never, in all my years as a psychologist, dealt with a case like yours so you'll have to be patient with me. I suggest that you begin your healing by being kinder with yourself and remember than you are a burden on no one, certainly not your husband. Everyone in your family considers you to be a gift.
"Christian, good to see you again, especially considering the change in your circumstances. I am very happy for you, my boy. Fortune has certainly smiled on you."
Flynn and Grey shook hands and smiled although Christian did not fully agree that fortune had smiled on him. He felt that it sneered and laughed at him before coming to its senses and then smiling on him. He still had a bone to pick with fortune.
As Christian made another appointment for his wife with Delores, Ana looked through the magazines the secretary had arranged in a fan on the table. One, entitled Parenthood, caught her eye. She picked it up and asked Delores if she could take it and return it next time. Delores smiled her agreement and, reaching under her desk, picked up a book and handed it over to Ana.
"This is my own personal copy. You can see how well-worn it is. I've never known a mother who felt worthy of the title. See if there's anything in here you can use, dear."
In the car, Ana ignored her adoring husband as she flipped through the magazine and the book. Christian wanted to kiss Ana all the way back to Grey Manor, instead having to settle for playing with Ana's hair.
CHAPTER 86
"Elliot, I have great news." Kate knew that great news to Elliot was that she was coming home to Seattle so he immediately responded with "When?"
Kate laughed at his enthusiasm for her company. Considering her lack of housekeeping skills and her general laziness, she was always amazed that he valued her.
"I took my idea for an in-depth interview with Ana and Christian to my editor who loved it. However, he feels that it is too big a story for a rookie like me so he wanted, get this, to have me do the actual interview and then have a senior editor write up my notes and get the by-line."
"I hope you told that stupid fucker where to go," Elliot growled. This was an outcome that they'd both expected but it was irritating nonetheless.
"I told him that Mr. and Mrs. Grey were willing to do the interview only because of their relationship to me and that seeing another person's name on it would not be welcome. So, the idiot suggested that I just don't tell them! I said that I couldn't lie and ya da ya da… I then called my father and asked if he thought that the Seattle Times might like the story…with the condition that I be given a reporter position in exchange. He said that he had seen this little bit of familial extortion coming a mile off but he certainly couldn't chance such a hometown story going elsewhere soooo…I'm coming home, my darling. For good!"
"Thank god. My balls are so blue," Elliot whined.
"Aw…that's so romantic, El. Anyway, I just submitted my formal resignation to my boss and I'm catching a plane in a couple of days."
"I'm sure that Chris would loan us a jet. I could pick you up and we could fuck ourselves crazy all the way across the country," Elliot grinned.
"I am not going to be responsible for the condition of those sheets. I wouldn't be able to look your brother in the eye," Kate replied in horror. Elliot just chortled. He could just imagine the look of disgust on his mother's housekeeper's face when she had to change Christian's and Ana's sheets.
"You know, Elliot, I've been thinking that there is enough material here for more than an article or even a series. I'm going to ask them how they might feel about me doing a book including a bit from the last book about our college years.
"Your four or her two?" Elliot chuckled.
"Obviously, the two we shared. "Course, compared to Ana, I'll look like a dunce."
"I wouldn't worry about that. Poor Ana is feeling pretty dumb these days. When you get home, any time the kids ask you for permission for anything, tell them to go ask their mother."
"Oh, my. Should have seen that one coming. She wasn't exactly sure of her mothering skills before she had those babies. Coming in five years later must be hard. I shall be a completely neglectful aunt."
"Just don't let them drown in the bath water, baby. Golly, I can't wait for you to get here. It has been a long time acomin', Katie girl. Prepare yourself. The minute you walk in the door, my mother will be measuring your finger for the engagement ring I'll be expected to run right out and get you."
"I don't want an engagement ring. Just a tattoo."
"Have you ever gotten a tattoo? They use a needle, you know."
The conversation ran on for another hour. They just hated to say goodbye. Most of what they said to each other was frivolous but that was one of the things they loved about each other. Neither had ever before found someone who could talk so much about anything and everything. Elliot had certainly never found a girl who was so interested in nuts and bolts. And Kate had never known a man so interested in journalism as Elliot.
Basically, they were just so fascinated by each other. They needed to know everything the other was thinking.
Meanwhile, Grace and Dana Kavanaugh were having regular conversations about their children's futures. Grace was delighted that Dana had no interest in masterminding a wedding. She would write a check for the liquor and the reception but other than that, Dana just wanted to show up and get drunk. It was Grace who would go for tastings, dress fittings and such. Being the wife of the head of Kavanaugh Media had meant almost 30 years of entertaining and Dana had had her fill. Like Kate and Elliot, Grace and Dana were a perfect match.
And now, Ana would be present. Kate and Elliot, it almost seemed, had just been waiting for the family to be whole again.
CHAPTER 87
"Now, before we get started, I want to explain what this will mean. I will ask a lot of questions. If I ask something that you aren't ready or are unwilling to ever discuss, just tell me. After Elliot, you are the dearest person in the world to me and to have you back is a miracle. I'll do nothing to upset you or jeopardize your happiness or wellbeing. Do you trust me, Ana? And remember, we have never lied to each other no matter what."
"Ana, sweetheart, are you certain that you want to do this?" Christian gently brushed her hair behind her ear.
"It's for the best, isn't it? The papers will just keep printing stories that aren't true unless we let Kate tell our story."
"Sweetie, I'd love to be able to tell you that this article will put all questions to bed but media is different these days. Truth is hard to come by and outfits like the Nooz will always twist reality. Tabloids aren't in the business of spreading the news. They're in the business of selling tabloids. But, yes, telling your story in a reputable media outlet will undercut the tabloids. So, should we start? You just tell me when you want to stop, okay?" Kate smiled at her BFF and turned on her recorder.
For two hours, Ana told Kate about her life as Bitty. Later in a separate discussion, Mary and Jeb would fill in some of the many holes in Ana's memory. Things became emotional when Ana talked about her dreams of Christian and when Christian told about coming upon his wife feeding a lamb.
Kate could see that both Ana and Christian were holding tighter to each other as their stories went on and, particularly for Christian, talking about believing Ana to be dead, was deeply moving. When Kate felt the emotions engendered were getting to be too much for the couple, she called a halt for the day. They would pick up the story in a day or two when everyone was rested.
Word had gotten out that the Seattle Times would be publishing the whole truth and Kate was inundated with requests for information. Paparazzi lined the street outside Escala and Grey Manor. When Ana wanted to take the children to the park across the street, the little trio would have to be accompanied by a dozen bodyguards. Other parents resented the disruption to their playtime and were not understanding of the needs of Ana and the twins.
Christian tried to help a weepy Ana understand that people of great wealth were seldom the recipients of sympathy.
The story was so big that Kate conceded that it would need to be told in installments. She graciously allowed both Ana and Christian to approve the final product. This helped immeasurably with their comfort levels.
Christian was perhaps unreasonably hopeful that getting the whole tale out would reduce public interest and pressure on his family…Ana, in particular.
Meanwhile, he had realtors along with Mary and Jeb hunting for farm property for his family. He wanted water front, a lot of acreage and Taylor's assurance that whatever he wound up buying could be protected. He still woke up nights in a cold sweat, having dreamt that his incredible good fortune was all just a dream. He wondered if he would ever be able to relax and accept that Ana was safe and home.
Taylor was working constantly toward that end. His Mexico contact would be getting back to him soon, he hoped. Once Greene and Peterson were apprehended, maybe he could sleep nights in peace again. He thought back to when he'd first interviewed for the job of security for a spoiled rich kid. Taylor had served regular deployments to foreign posts, secret service for presidents, undercover CIA assignments. He hadn't considered that babysitting a 24-year-old brat with money would entail much besides avoiding paparazzi but the lack of danger would get him more time with his little daughter. But every day brought death threats and intrusions and just plain nastiness from a jealous element of society. Grey's model-looks brought stacks of mail every week from love-sick females of all ages. Many times Taylor wondered about going back to the straight forward assignments he used to have but Gail would never leave Grey and Ana.
Guarding these two and their constantly endangered family was wearing on his nerves. People were always hoping to get to Grey through his loved ones. Now that Kate Kavanaugh was home for good, there would be another wedding and then more children to worry over. The security detail grew. Grey was building his own army. It was exhausting and it wasn't fair. These were good people who did quite a bit for their community but all the masses saw was an enviable net worth.
And, yeah, it broke his heart to see Ana and the kids return from the park 15 minutes after they left the penthouse because they were getting dirty looks and parents were pulling their children away from the Grey twins because they didn't want their kids to be caught in a cross-fire.
Finally, a week after Detective Park had first alerted Taylor to the possibility of Dr. Greene being in Ciudad Juarez, Taylor received the call for which he'd been waiting.
CHAPTER 88
The week was starting out well for Taylor. Mary and Jeb thought that they'd found a farm property that could be the Grey's new home. 50 pristine acres facing the water of Lake Washington on three sides…its location on Mercer Island made it a reasonable commute into Seattle and to Bellevue, home of Grey Manor. The area was defensible, close to good hospitals and schools. Of course, to Mary and Jeb, its good farming soil was its most attractive quality.
Taylor also received word from his contact in Mexico. She'd been to see the doctor at the free clinic in Ciudad Juarez and sent pictures back as well. The computer program matched up the faces in pictures of Dr. Greene and Dr. Medina. Taylor immediately alerted the FBI and supplied it with all the evidence he, his team and the SPD had compiled against Dr. Greene. He was hopeful that Mexican authorities would cooperate in extraditing the good doctor. Again, he knew that he couldn't reveal anything to Grey until Dr. Greene was in U.S. hands.
While arrangements were being made to bring Dr. Greene to justice, the Greys were dealing with the reaction to Kate's first installment of their story. The story was a big hit. The Seattle Times had to publish a second edition for one of the few times in its history because the first edition was sold out within hours. Ana was embarrassed to be the locus of so much intense attention and she worried for her children. She decided to keep them home for a week to keep them from being swamped by the other children at school. She and Christian knew that the story could be twisted and they worried that Theo and Ali would be teased. People could be so strange…and cruel. Some readers would be sympathetic while others might be jealous of the attention paid the Greys and others would call them liars.
Kate had done a masterful job of writing the piece but no matter how truthful an article, there would always be naysayers. She confessed later to them that even her own colleagues were skeptical about parts of the story. The spotlight could be harsh. One of the difficulties was that Grace's annual Coping Together Gala was soon to be held and it would be Ana's first introduction to society…as far as she remembered, that is. Christian told her that they didn't have to attend but Ana had unfortunately overheard his mother remarking that their presence at the Gala would result in at least twice the monetary contributions to the charity. Ana would never put her own comfort ahead of the needs of others…a trait that her husband admired but sometimes wished she didn't have in such abundance.
Ana pointed out to Christian that if they didn't attend, people would talk…and the talk would not be complimentary. There would be discussions as to why the Greys were hiding, especially so soon after the publication of their story. It was important that people see them as a normal couple who had been through a terrible ordeal and not just a couple of attention hogs. They were already disparaged by some due to Grey's success at such a young age and Ana's beauty. Most society wives were at least twice her age except for the trophy wives and even these were inclined to believe that Ana was deeply flawed in some way. Grace had even heard women at her salon tittering about Ana wearing denim coveralls to the ball. Grace was able to pretend that she hadn't heard by picturing how beautiful Ana would be while those nasty hags were wearing too much makeup, jewelry…well, just too much. Then she had to stop and reflect that it was she herself who was being silly. The last person to care about how pretty she appeared to others was Ana.
.+.
"So, Ana. This is our tenth session together. How do you feel about our chats? Are they working for you?" Dr. Flynn was supposed to be detached and objective but he'd come to be quite fond of Mrs. Grey.
"I'm more at ease with my children, I think. I'm not afraid to say that I am their mother and what I say goes. Of course, I often ask people with more childcare experience how to do things."
"With whom do you talk?"
"Mostly Grace, Mia and Gail even though everyone in the family has more experience than I do," Ana giggled. Her giggle was charming but more than that, it indicated a light-heartedness that she was beginning to feel. Flynn was pleased that she was happier. She'd read every issue of Parenthood that she found in reception and a dozen other books about mothering. Christian had spoken privately with all the women who'd been sharing in the mothering of Theo and Ali to caution them that the children's actual mother was home now and it was important that they honor her place.
"So, do you feel that you're doing better as a mother?" Flynn asked.
"Yes, I feel a lot better about things since I first came to you. Can I ask you about sex now?" Flynn, feeling a bit whiplashed, nodded seriously. He knew about Grey's introduction to sex, about his dominant years and about his greater than average need for sex. However, Grey had spent the previous five years completely celibate with no interest in sex at all. Now that Ana was home Flynn had been wondering how things were going with his sweet and timid wife so recently introduced to a sex life. He could see that Grey was madly in love and exceptionally attentive to his wife.
"Of course. Go right ahead," Flynn said, practically holding his breath.
"Well, as you know, I'm aware of only five years of life and that life I lived was quite isolated and innocent. I'm sure that Mary and Jeb make love but they were quite discreet and quiet so I was unaware. I learned about sex from watching the farm animals and asking questions of Mary.
"When Christian found me, he was immediately affectionate with me. I'd never been touched so much in all my life. He didn't push me to do anything sexually. He held my hand, put his arms around me, kissed my face. We slept in the same bed and I was aware that he was aroused but he didn't ask for anything. However, eventually we began, hmm, doing it."
"Did you want to 'do it'," Flynn asked tentatively.
"Very much so. In fact, that's what I was wondering about. I am as interested in sex as my husband, sometimes more so. He's very careful not to ask too much of me. He's concerned that I not feel pressured. The thing is, Dr. Flynn, that I feel the same. I'm afraid that I'm too demanding."
"Ana, why haven't you talked with your husband about this?"
"Odd, isn't it? I'm not too shy to claw his clothes off the second we're alone but I am too shy to ask him if I'm too much."
"Ana, I've known Christian for many years. I know him to be a highly sexual man. However, he's right outside in the waiting room. Why don't we talk about this together?"
Ana looked nervous but she agreed.
CHAPTER 89
"So, Christian, Ana and I were just talking about sexual appetites. How's yours these days?" Flynn smiled.
"You've known me a long time, John. You know that I've been a eunuch for five years. What do you think?"
"Prior to losing Ana, I knew you to be voracious, insatiable."
"Well, I have her back so I've returned to being voracious and insatiable. Why are you asking me this? Ana, am I being too much?" Christian looked quite concerned. Had he been reading her wrong all this time?
"No, Christian, not at all. I was afraid that I was being too much, too forward. I read in a magazine that men don't like their sexual partners to initiate too often because they feel emasculated. And last night, I was sucking on your penis and you fell asleep. Perhaps I should back off somewhat?" Ana, sweet adorable Ana was looking at Christian with her blue eyes big and wide and wondering.
Christian leaned toward her and kissed her lips lightly. "Honey, I'm sorry that I fell asleep. I'm more sorry that I missed a blowjob. It's just that we'd been making love for a couple of hours and I was worn out. Please don't stop coming for me any time you want. I love it. You and I have always been ravenous for each other. I've never needed anyone so much. I can't believe that I used to get by on a couple of nights a week."
Flynn found himself trying to fade into his chair. He recalled having a like conversation with these two in the days before Ana disappeared. He and Rhian were a quite loving couple but two or three times a week satisfied both of them. He recalled telling her about a couple he was counseling who went at it like rabbits and Rhian telling him not to get any ideas. He didn't have that kind of stamina anyway. At the time, he thought it was a miracle that these two had found each other. He'd counseled couples for years and sexual compatibility was almost unheard of and required a great deal of work to attain.
"Well, I guess that answers your concerns, Ana?"
Ana didn't seem to hear him. She was entranced by her husband's darkening gray eyes…eyes that practically begged for her touch. Flynn felt quite in the way. He suggested loudly that today's session had gone well and that he didn't see any need for Ana to return unless something came up. She smiled at him and expressed her gratitude for all his help and insight all these weeks. Then she whispered something to Christian that made his whole body light up and they bid farewell to John Flynn.
"See you at the gala, John?" Christian asked but didn't wait for an answer as he and Ana wrapped their arms around each other and left the building. Flynn looked down at the couple waiting in reception. These two hated each other. Flynn welcomed them in and sighed. Can't hit them all out of the park, he thought.
Taylor occasionally regretted his insistence on driving Grey everywhere himself. Today it meant parking at the Fairmont Hotel for several hours as his bosses' held a private sex orgy in the GEH company suite. What went on at Flynn's office? he wondered. The two had made out all the way to the hotel and would undoubtedly ruin their sheets and the eardrums of anyone within range of the Presidential Suite.
Three hours later, Taylor received a text from Grey informing him that it was time to head home for supper with the kids. Taylor roused himself, straightened his suit jacket and got out of the car to await his bosses. They came almost skipping across the street, holding hands and grinning at each other.
"Hi, Taylor!" Ana beamed at him. Grey simply nodded. Taylor returned the acknowledgement and closed their door behind them before taking his place behind the wheel.
"Thank you for waiting for us, Taylor. You could have gone home, gotten a nap, read a book," Ana suggested.
Christian just smiled at his sweet wife, light of his life.
"No, ma'am. My job is to watch out for you, keep an eye on the people coming and going from the hotel, be close at hand in case of trouble."
"Geez, all that, eh? I'm feeling a little guilty now."
"Don't, Mrs. Grey. I go where he goes. That's the job, isn't it, sir?"
"Yep. That's what he told me when I hired him. Not for me to argue with a professional. Home, James," Grey chuckled. The privacy screen went up. Taylor sighed in relief. At least, he didn't have to watch them suck each other's faces off all the way back to Escala.
CHAPTER 90
The afternoon before that evening's Coping Together Gala, Taylor received the good news for which he'd been hoping…Mexico was extraditing Dr. Greene. She would be arriving in Seattle tomorrow. Taylor debated letting Grey know but not for long. The gala might be hard enough for both his bosses and news of Dr. Greene would definitely ruin Sunday brunch at Grey manor. No, Monday morning would be soon enough. Greene had to be arraigned and settled into her cell anyway. Park's wouldn't let Grey speak to her before late Monday. Grey was always a bit snarly on Monday because he had to leave Ana so knowing that he'd soon be able to glare into the terrified eyes of Dr. Greene would be a nice little surprise for him.
Ana was insistent on attending the ball even though she was alone in her expectation that she show up. The entire family had encouraged her to stay home. She didn't realize that her being there would be problematic for all those who loved and worried about her. None of them would be able to enjoy themselves what with being concerned about her. Ana, however, had seen both television and print queries about the possibility of the Grey's appearance at the ball. It was a big topic of discussion…will they…won't they? People were actually betting on whether Grey and his little Amish wife would show. There had been pictures of Ana in the park with the children and much talk about what the billionaire's wife was wearing. The day that she'd worn her comfy old pair of denim coveralls, she was crucified in the news that night. The public was expecting her to be a complete embarrassment at the gala…her dress, her hair, and, certainly, her behavior.
Despite the assurances of her husband and her entire family, Ana couldn't help feeling that there was a lot riding on her ability to present herself well. She needed to show everyone that she was deserving of a devastatingly handsome, multi-billionaire businessman/philanthropist. She would not have people thinking badly of Christian because of his choice of wife. She wanted him to be able to walk into important meetings and have his competitors continue to fear and respect him…not pity him because of his pathetic wife. She needed to be an asset to her husband's work.
Christian could only cuss out all the media for making his wife feel insecure. He'd have preferred that she trust his word that she was the most beautiful and charming woman in the world but he understood that she thought that he was simply biased…nor could he lie that he wasn't. So, he simply had Grace and Mia choose a number of gorgeous dresses and a genius hairdresser named Franco to do Ana's lovely locks while he hid in his study and strove to concentrate on spreadsheets. All he needed was a shower and five minutes to don his tux.
Believing that Dr. Greene and/or Richard Peterson might be lurking about the environs this evening, Grey had instructed Taylor to flood the grounds with coverts. Every possible entrance was covered and then some. Taylor truly doubted that Peterson was anywhere on the continent but he wanted Grey to feel safe or, rather, for Grey to feel that his wife was safe. With all the manpower and technology guarding his wife tonight, Grey was spending easily upwards of a million dollars on tonight's security. Taylor understood. Gail, the children and the Millers would be home at Escala and Taylor had half a dozen security guarding every possible access point. Burglars would be inclined to target the wealth-laden homes of tonight's guests who didn't arrange for more than door and window alarms.
"Ana, could we get a move…..on?" Grey gulped as he watched his wife glide gracefully through the great room.
Ana was wearing a brilliant white gown with billowing sleeves, a neckline with a bit of décolletage, a wide ribbon belt and a thigh-high slit up the sides of the skirt. She was wearing a simple but outrageously expensive necklace with a pink diamond resting in her cleavage. How Grey envied that little jewel.
Franco had cut several inches off of her hair but her tresses still fell to her breasts. Grey wasn't sure how he felt about all that hair being gone but Franco assured him that there was enough to make several wigs for children who'd lost their hair to chemo. Well, okay.
Mia had applied a bit of mascara to Ana's lush lashes and lip tint…neither of which Ana needed. She took her eyes off of her gaping husband long enough to look up at Mary and Jeb standing on the stairs, also gaping. She knew that Christian would always find her to be stunning but she was concerned that her parents for the past five years might be disappointed in her.
"Do I look too flashy?" she asked in a small voice.
"Oh, darling, we are so proud of our Bitty. You will knock 'em dead tonight at that fancy ball," Jeb beamed as he and Mary admired their foster daughter. Ana breathed a sigh of relief. They were a long way from the Amish principles of simplicity and modesty.
"I hope that I don't say anything too stupid tonight."
"Well, you never have before so I doubt you'll start tonight," Christian said. His eyes just shone with pride. "Kids, you be good for your grandparents tonight, okay?" Ali and Theo just stared at their mother. She bent down to kiss them and hug them goodnight. "Wish your momma good luck, my loves?" They nodded vigorously. "We love you, mommy!"
Christian was still too gobsmacked at the sight of Ana to notice that they paid him no attention at all. Of course, to children, a tux probably didn't look that much different from one of Christian's daily $4000 Armani work suits.
As they entered the elevator, Christian looked into the blue depths of his lover's eyes and asked if lip tint smeared. When Ana smiled that no it didn't, he began to kiss her for the next 20 floors.
CHAPTER 91
By the time they arrived at Grey Manor and Taylor raised the privacy screen, both Ana and Christian were flushed and a bit messy. Taylor handed them combs and brushes. Ana straightened out Christian's bowtie and Christian straightened out whatever of Ana was askew. Taylor just shook his head. He pointed out the deluxe portable restrooms near the parking lot and suggested that both take advantage of these conveniences. After And had tidied her hair and dress, she emerged to find Christian waiting with gleaming eyes. He always looked at her with such love. She sometimes wondered if her feelings were as evident to him. She certainly endeavored always to show him how she felt.
Her arm linked through his and his hand clutching hers, the couple walked into the massive tent that Grace had had erected for the ball. An orchestra was playing lovely music although Mia complained that none of it had been written after the 1960's. The vocalist was singing "Witchcraft" as Christian whirled Ana out onto the dance floor. He and Ana had been practicing every night. In truth, it wasn't only Ana who felt incompetent. Christian did as well. Mostly he preferred to hold his partner and simply sway back and forth. However, Ana had wanted to actually dance so they danced. Amazingly to them, they were comfortable. They were delighting so much in each other that they didn't even notice all the eyes on them. Certainly, none of the Seattle elite expected such a performance from Ana. It was good that she was unaware of the staring. After several dances, Christian requested a waltz. This was a dance at which they were particularly good. They loved flowing about the floor. As they swept around the room, Ana giggled with joy. It was like flying. When the number ended, the audience of which they weren't aware, applauded wildly for them.
It was partly for their skill and partly for their happiness that Ana was doing so well. The couple was immediately swamped by people wanting to welcome Ana home, reminding her that they were well acquainted even though they understood that she didn't remember them, congratulating her on doing so well and so on. It was, of course, a bit overwhelming but Ana looked people in the eye and understood that their warm attentions were real so she did her best to express her appreciation.
She was too warm after all the dancing so she excused herself to visit the ladies lounge again to freshen up. Christian was waylaid by several businessmen who first wanted to tell him that he was one lucky son-of-a-bitch and then engage him in business talk. Taylor escorted Ana to the lounge and waited for her outside. He thought that quite a bit of time had gone by so he asked a woman going in to see if Ana was all right. He was concerned that she'd fallen asleep on the couch.
The woman returned immediately and told him that Ana was surrounded by a number of unpleasant women, older and trophy, who were making her feel uncomfortable. The women were jealous that she'd snatched up a catch like Christian. One woman had even said that Ana shouldn't have returned because this woman had had her eye on Grey for some time. He would have, she claimed, eventually stopped mourning Ana and this woman would have had her chance.
"You have never been right for him anyway. He should have married a woman from his own circle, someone who been schooled since birth in the right way to navigate proper society."
"Mrs. Grey finished four years at Harvard in two years with a 4.0 grade point average. Mr. Grey married a woman who is beautiful, brilliant and filled with compassion for others. He would never have looked twice at any of you so go back to your husbands and try to make them not regret marrying you."
"Mrs. Grey," Taylor said, offering his arm. She smiled and took it, walking out of the lounge. "Well, that was a lovely entrance, Mr. Taylor. Tell me. Is this your first foray into a ladies toilet?"
He laughed loudly. "I'm barely welcome in Gail's."
"Christian and I have toothpaste fights. We waste so much toothpaste, we ought to be ashamed."
"Well, I don't think there is currently a shortage of toothpaste so spit away with a clear conscience."
Christian walked up wondering about all the laughter and jealous, of course, that another man was laughing with his wife. He took her arm from Taylor and escorted her back into the ballroom and over to the family table.
"Ana, you wowed everyone. Your dancing was magnificent and Christian, you were quite a surprise as well. All these years, we've never seen you dance like that." His parents were glowing with pride for both of them.
"Yes, you have. At my wedding and the gala before Ana became pregnant…." There was a small painful pause but Ana paid no mind.
"Where are Kate and Elliot? I see Mia with some young man but…."
"They've both been so busy lately that time together has been tough to come by. I suspect that they've snuck off to Elliot's old bedroom," Carrick laughed as Grace blushed.
"That sounds like a good idea," Grey smirked, but Ana wanted to dance some more. "Come sway with me, my love."
Christian thought that was a good idea, too, so he took Ana in his arms and they slowly swayed around the floor, embracing tightly, forehead to forehead, sometimes lips to lips. Christian didn't care who was watching…he wanted to nuzzle his wife's shoulder. He really wanted to nuzzle the spot currently occupied by that little pink diamond but he knew Ana would swat him away.
"Do you have any idea of how much I am in love with you, my precious wife?"
"Tell me again. I may have forgotten the particulars," Ana teased.
"I wake in the middle of the night just so I can remember that you are with me, just so I can dwell on that for a while before I go back to sleep."
"Why don't you wake me to make love?"
"Sometimes, I just want to look at you, feel you in my arms and bask in the wonderfulness of having you home. Ana, I can never completely, fully, tell you what it was like to believe you gone. I'd wake up without you and burn. My heart ached so badly, I thought I'd have a heart attack…and I would have welcomed it."
"Mrs. Grey, may I cut in? A treasure like Mr. Grey is to be shared." It was one of the women who'd accosted Ana in the ladies lounge.
"So sorry, whoever you are, but I'm not a good sharer. My husband was just telling me how very much he loves me. Now go away," Ana sniped. Christian just looked at her adoringly. "Thank you for not caring about what others may think. If you'd handed me over to that hag, you'd have broken my heart."
"I love your heart, Christian. I love you so very very much." In full view of the lusty lounge ladies, Christian kissed his wife with intense passion. The ladies couldn't bear to watch. They turned away and back to their gossip.
CHAPTER 92
Mia tried to coerce Ana into being auctioned off along with a dozen other women, single women, but Ana firmly told Mia that she was irretrievably taken. Besides, she and Christian were getting very little time to themselves as it was. It seemed that every guest at the gala felt the need to come by to talk and gawk. Grace quietly confided to Ana that attendance was usually increased by news of Christian's presence but this year it was because of Ana. No one had ever met someone back from the dead. Furthermore, Christian's despair was well known in society circles so, save for the bitches in the ladies lounge, attendees in the main were beyond happy for Christian and his family. Of course, the story, part I, of Ana's ordeal and return, was known to everyone. Everyone who stopped by the table had something kind to say so neither Ana nor Christian could bring themselves to brush anyone off.
Still, it made for an exhausting evening. Following a couple more fund-raising activities, Christian tugged Ana by the hand and the twosome made their way out to the backyard for some alone time. With their arms around each other, they strolled down to the dock to gaze at the city lights in the distance.
"I'm tremendously proud of you tonight, Ana," Christian whispered as he kissed her temple.
"It wasn't so hard, Christian. I thought it would be but my baptism by fire in the ladies lounge made the rest of the evening easier. Besides, having Taylor standing in the restroom telling all these women off was such a treat…."
"Wait. What happened in the ladies lounge and what was Taylor doing in there?" Christian looked stunned at this bit of information. Ana explained it all very off-handedly but her casual approach did not wipe the look off her husband's face.
"Those bitches! Taylor in the toilet! What the fuck!" Christian began to tear his hands through his hair as he paced furiously back and forth on the dock. Ana couldn't contain her laughter. Christian wanted to go back inside and have Ana point out the women who'd accosted her which she refused to do, enraging him further. Then he wanted to text Taylor to come to the dock so he could yell at him but Ana gave him the evil eye. He was so frustrated that he could do nothing with his anger but yell it at the water.
Ana reached out for his hands and put them on her face as she pressed her lips against his. He was almost instantly distracted, pouring all his fury into a passionate kiss before burying his face in her neck and holding her as tightly as he could. Ana understood that his intensity was more an expression of his desperate need for her after having to live without her for so long. Since she'd come home, he'd had to be calm and gentle for her while inside him there roiled a river of molten lava. He'd never really been able to release the anger, the pain. Sometimes, when they made love, he was so overcome that she worried that he'd burst a blood vessel trying to deal with his feelings.
And now he was sobbing into the crook of her neck as they sank together unto the surface of the dock. She held him fast as she rocked him in her arms. All he could do was say her name, over and over.
"Geez, Ana, what happened?" Elliot and Kate stood over them, baffled and frightened.
"I'm home. After five years of anguish, I'm home," Ana answered. Elliot and Kate looked at each other, befuddled. Shouldn't Christian be happy, they were thinking. Grief is a strange creature, Ana somehow knew. It overcame one when it was least expected. It's appearance wasn't linear, either. It would circle back and attack again long after the reason for it seemed gone. She fully expected that one day in the future, maybe even a decade from now, it would come again for Christian.
Elliot seemed to get it. He had heard Kate crying in the bathroom in the middle of the night and now he understood. He wrapped his arms around her and walked her back to the house. He hoped that he wouldn't forget this lesson in sorrow because both his girl and his brother would probably suffer for the rest of their lives. Our emotions could be brutal masters.
Finally, Christian was able to collect himself and just sit with Ana in his arms. "I don't know what came over me, Ana. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so angry and upset. I don't have any reason to be unhappy anymore. My world is perfect now."
"Your world is uncertain. That you've learned and it's terrifying to know that you can't be in control. You'll always be frightened no matter how hard you fight it. You're afraid that I'll be taken from you again and you know how hard that will be. I feel the same way. I've lost so much and I don't know if I'd have the courage you've had all these years to survive."
Christian's chest heaved heavily. "I guess all one can do is love and hope for the best in life. Before you, I never dreamed of happiness and now I have so much. I lost you and I have you now. I'll try not to ask for more."
The lovers sat on the dock for a long time. They had a very long time to be together and to be grateful for all of it.
EPILOGUE
Christian had learned a lot from that night on the dock with Ana and, thus, he didn't want to waste any more time being angry. Upon discovering that Dr. Greene was in custody, he left the case in the hands of Detective Parks and the DA. The former Dr. Greene took a plea bargain which meant no need for a trial or testimony from the Greys. She went to jail for a long time and Grey paid no more mind to her. Richard Peterson's remains floated ashore down in Baja months later. He'd walked into the ocean with bags of rocks chained to his waist. The people who meant such harm to Ana and Christian Grey came to such sad ends…the saddest being that no one mourned them.
Shortly after the anniversary of Ana's return to Christian, the family moved into their new home. Mary and Jeb likewise moved into their new home and poured their days into caring for their little farm and their adopted grandchildren. For their 10th anniversary, Ana's gift to Christian was a little stick with a pink plus sign. Seven months later they welcomed a baby girl with Ana's hair and Christian's eyes.
Elliot and Kate married in the backyard of Grey Manor, event planning courtesy of Mia Grey who found true love with the carpenter who built the wedding pergola. She annoyed him daily with her "help" until he finally agreed to marry her if she'd just go inside and get out of his hair.
As if to convey fate's regret at hurting Christian, he and Ana were gifted long and happy lives.
