Behind The Scenes of Paper Mario!
Chapter 6: Insanity has its Disadvantages

A/N: Yes, I've taken a break from reality to get back to my writing roots. I own jack squat. If somebody does sue me...I spent all of my money on jelly beans and Christmas presents and candy canes...and then I ate'em all...I don't know what they could possibly sue me for...how about some notebook paper?... Sorry about the wait. I got caught in so much stuff I completely forgot about thtis fic. Then I spotted it on my hard drive... Huh?! What the?!
Yoshi: *runs in with a machete* Give me the jelly beans!
I ate them all. Sorry, Yoshi.
Yoshi: *sulks away*

Scene: A small cafe where Miyamoto, Mario, Bowser, Nate, and Peach (who is still clutching Nate's poor arm) are sitting at one of the larger tables. Luigi is nowhere to be seen.
Miyamoto: *is very cheerful* It's nice to have have a change of scenery. Too bad Luigi got sick.
Mario: *is very depressed* Of you. The scenery in the Bahamas was better. I'm still convinced we left something behind.

BACK IN THE BAHAMAS....
Yoshi: *has several bruises on his face that resemble hands* Ow...

BACK IN JAPAN....
Peach: *has little hearts for eyes*
Nate: *is freaked out*
Everyone Else: *is staring at them*
Japanese Guy #1: *walks up to Miyamoto* The remaining auditioners are here.
Miyamoto: Good. Send the first one over.
Japanese Guy #1: *beckons an auditioner over*
Draco: *walks over from one of the small tables* Hello! *sees Peach* Hi! *eyes turn into little hearts*
Peach: Back off! *whips a machete out of who knows where* I'm taken. *hugs Nate's arm even tighter*
Nate: *really needs some morphine*
Bowser: How could you just desert me?! *runs off crying...again*
Other People In The Cafe: Jerry Jerry Jerry!
Draco:... Okay...
Miyamoto: Are you freaked out?
Draco: Yep.
Miyamoto: Are you willing to be in completely idiotic situations?
Draco: I guess.
Miyamoto: Will you leave Peach alone?
Draco: Heck, yeah!
Miyamoto: Good! #1, come here!
Japanese Guy #1: Yes, sir?
Miyamoto: You're fired.
Japanese Guy #1: *sulks away*
Miyamoto: You're my new gofer, whoever you are!
Draco: Draco.
Miyamoto: Whatever. Send the next one over.
Draco: *beckons an auditioner over*
Bombette: *waddles over* Hiya, I'm Bombette!
Miyamoto: You're in.
Bombette: Why?
Miyamoto: I want to wipe that stupid grin off your face. And everybody else will help me, won't you?
Everybody Else: *sips Cafe Lattes that appeared out of nowhere*
Miyamoto: Maybe I should rephrase that. Anyone who wants to get paid this century will help me, won't you?
Mario: *pulls a gigantic briefcase out from under the table, opens it, and gives Peach, Nate, and Draco each a sponge and some soap*
Bombette: *stops grinning and leaves*
Miyamoto: I love my job. Send over the next one, Draco!
Draco: Yeah, yeah. *waves at the next auditioner*
Auditioner: *floats over* Hiya!
Mario: It's a...
Nate: Miniature sun?
Watt: No, I'm Watt.
Mario: What's a "Watt"?
Yoshiharu: *appears out of nowhere and jumps into Mario's lap* Well, Mario, a watt is a measurement of electricity. In this case however, a watt is an actual living organism that is electro-magnetically charged!
Everyone Else:....Okay....
Peach: How did you get here?!
Yoshiharu: My latest invention, the Cello-phonic Atomically Based Teleporter!
Miyamoto: Very nice, but we're kind of busy.
Yoshiharu: Alright. Bye, Mario! *disappears*
Mario: *has little hearts for eyes* Bye, Yoshiharu!
Miyamoto: Watt, if the studio for whatever reason had a blackout, could you provide light?
Watt: So you could see? Sure!
Miyamoto: No, not at all. To keep Peach's relationship with Nate more or less professional.
Watt: I can do that too!
Miyamoto: Okay, you're hired!
Watt: When do I get paid?
Miyamoto: When we make a profit. *to Draco* Next!
Watt: *floats away singing "I'm in the money!"*
Miyamoto: *sniffs* Poor, deluded little ball of whatever...
Draco: Here you go! *kicks Lakilester over to Miyamoto* Meet Lakilester!
Lakilester: My name is Spike!
Everyone Else: *rolls eyes*
Lakil-*A/N: Spike has offered me a twenty pound bag of jelly beans to call him "Spike". He will be referred to as such for the rest of the fic.*
Spike: I'll have you know....
*About five...six months later...*
Spike:...So call me Spike!
Mario: *really needs to shave* Why were we listening to him for five months?
Miyamoto: The author has been researching the ideal of "having a life" as she puts it. *is hit by a flying boot*
Some Girl With a Laptop: *is typing away angrily at another table with only one boot on*
Peach: It's the author...Let's get her!
Nate: Why?
Peach: She made us listen to that thing for nearly half a year! I intend on punishing her for it!
Everyone Else: *rolls eyes*
Peach:...Or I'll punish all of you for it!
Everyone Else: *gains murderous glances*
Some Girl With a Laptop: I really know how to screw things up! *runs out of the cafe*
Miyamoto: After her! *he leads the mob of Nintendo characters and various others after the authoress*

*In the Bahamas...*
Yoshi: *is almost unrecognizable because his face is covered with a large bruise* Owie...


Um...once again, sorry about the wait. Any auditioners who didn't appear in this chapter will next time. Sorry y'all, but I wanted to get this posted ASAP after I found it. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! And Happy all-those-other-holidays-I-can't-spell!