Notes: after reading over the previous chapters, I would like to apologize for any grammar errors and whatnot. I try to catch them as best I can, sometimes I don't get all of them. Oops. Again, thank you thank you and thank you for the reviews.
Personally, no, I don't own Digimon. Sure would be nice if I did. I wouldn't have such a crappy job… sigh. Yaoi and Kensuke. Think I forgot to mention this has Miyaken too- but only because the people who do own the show made them a married couple. Wrong, so very wrong. Oh yeah, this chapter has some Miyako bashing. Things get pretty nasty between her and Ken.
CHAPTER 4
Morning then. Sunlight gleaming off the fresh snow. Mounds of white diamonds lay perfect, untouched. Ice crystals covered the landscape surrounding the resort. No other sings of civilization for miles. At the window in his room, Ken watched as a small boy ran outside, the boy's father not far behind. Heartstrings ripped in his chest. Behind him he could hear his wife awaken.
"Ken-chan, honey," she murmured, voice thick with sleep, "come back to bed."
He could hear the suggestive tone and chose to ignore it. Instead he watched the boy and the father play in the snow. Without realizing it, he lifted a pale hand to the glass as if to touch the scene outside. How badly he wanted to hold him again. A sting in his eyes reminded him of why he wasn't.
"Aw, Ken baby, come on," Miyako purred from the bed. "Come and play."
His back stiffened. "Thank you," he replied quietly, "but I don't think so." He didn't even glance at her.
Pouting, Miyako sat up in the bed. "What's the matter, Ken? You're all brooding and mopey over there. Come over here and let me cheer you up a little." When he still did not turn she finally got up pulling the bedsheet around her for whatever amount of extra warmth it could provide. Tentatively placing a hand on her husband's shoulder she followed his indigo gaze to the ground below. "Oh," she said, voice hushed. "I see."
Ken shook his head. 'No Miyako, you'll never see. You'll never understand,' he thought. 'And I don't know if I'll ever tell you.' Dimly aware of the world around him, he practically jumped when his wife closed her arms around him.
"I know you missed him, baby," she leaned her chin onto his shoulder. "I still can't believe he had a kid and never told anybody. Sure, he told Takeru about his wife, but I didn't think-"
"He what?" Ken pulled out of the smothering embrace and spun to face his wife. "You knew, didn't you?" Accusation weighted the words. "You fucking knew! All this time you've seen how worried I was, how upset and you knew where he was. Why didn't you fucking tell me?!" Voice rising with anger and contempt, Ken tried his best to keep from striking the cowering woman. "Why?"
Miyako blinked back tears as she pushed some of her hair out of her eyes. This sudden outburst frightened her. Ken was shaking with the beginnings of a very fine rage. And she would be damned if she went down without a fight. "You could have asked. All of us knew, but Daisuke told us not to tell you. He didn't want you to know. And it's not as if you even tried to find out where he went!" She stood up a little straighter pushing for the best arrogant defensive posture she could manage.
"He was my best friend!" Ken was livid. Sparks of anger flickered in his eyes. Pulse pounding in his ears as he yelled, he found he was so tired of the life he lead. "My best friend! You could have told me. If you loved me at all you would have." The last words were icy.
"What?" Miyako felt her eyes narrow. "What did you just fucking say to me?" Her words were nothing more than a hiss.
Ken shook his head in disgust. "You heard me, you fucking whore," he shot back at her earning him a very solid slap. Head snapped to one side, he felt a tingling pain on his cheek. Before he could stop himself he was laughing- a high brittle sound.
"How dare you call me that," Miyako spoke around the straining pressure in her throat. A pressure waiting to break, to dissolve, into tears at any second. "How can you call me that? I'm you wife!" Her voice was shrill. The tone was one of people who know they can no longer lie about themselves. A tone of denial.
Gripping her arms, Ken looked into Miyako's panic stricken face. "Oh, what's the matter, baby? Did you really think I didn't know?" The words rang- mocking, cruel. Pulling her closer he hissed into her ear. "Did you think you could hide that from me? All those men you fucked. The times you were out 'with friends' until late at night. Have you forgotten what I do for a living?" Ken watched a tear fall down her face. "That's right Miya-chan. I have some lovely pictures of you. Yes, indeed. Some lovely shots of you with all different people. Some I know, some I don't know. But I want you to tell me something. Were they good? I mean, I heard your screaming but being your husband I can tell when you're faking it- you did that often enough when you fucked me. But, were they better?"
Tears of shame coursed from her eyes. The lids fluttered closed, she didn't want to see his face when she answered. "Yes," she whispered. "They were. Because they loved me." She heard him scream something unintelligible seconds before throwing her to the floor. Enraged eyes burned her skin. Through it Miyako stared up at her husband defiantly. "It's true and you know it. You never loved me. We got married, had children, everything! But you never loved me, Ken. Why?" Her head shook as more tears filled her vision. "What does he have that I don't?"
Defeated, his shoulders hunched as he slid to the floor beside his wife. Ken watched her for several long moments. The pain in his throat matched the ache in his heart. He looked so small, fragile. Finally, he pulled Miyako into his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair. "This wasn't fair to you. I wasn't fair to you. I'm so sorry, Miyako." Inside he cringed at the thought of their children. How would things go from here?
Her words muffled by Ken's shirt, Miyako had to repeat herself a few times before she knew he heard. "You know he loves you, right?" She felt his heart break…
"Then why did he leave me?" Ken whispered so softly the words were almost lost in the room. A shaky laugh sounded in his throat. "Did everyone know but me? Was it something you guys sat around and talked about all the time?"
Sparkling eyes blinked as she tried to be gentle. "Yeah," she whispered. "That's why it was such a shock when you asked me out the first time. Shit, I got the fucking shock of my life when you proposed," she laughed.
"Oh, Miya," Ken cried, "we seriously fucked this up didn't we? You know he told me last night." He barely registered her gasp. "Yeah," he nodded. "And he hates me too. But, I tried to love you. I really did. And I do care for you, but…"
"I know," she comforted him. Hushing him as she rocked him in her arms, Miyako soothed him as best she could. "It'll be okay, Ken-chan. Everything will be okay now, you'll see."
Being the cynic he was, Ken laughed bitterly. "I sincerely doubt that."
*************
to be continued
Sorry to make this all depressing. I think there will only be one or two more chapters. Review if you want to, hope you like.
