Notes: To the people who reviewed, thank you all so much for the encouragement. It seems this story may be longer than I planned on but that happens. Again, sorry about hideous grammar errors.
Yaoi, Kensuke, all that good stuff. Don't own Digimon, wish I did, would be nice.
CHAPTER 5
Outside, father and son reveled in the simple joys of winter. They rolled in the powdery snow making snow angels, building a snowman. After a miniature snowball fight they sat to rest beside the winged imprints they had left.
The small boy tried to rub his face only to find matted layers of ice on his mittens obstructing his hands. After pouting for the merest second, he thought about something. "Daddy?"
"What is it, Angel?" Daisuke could not help but feel his eyes and heart melt at the sight of his five-year-old son.
"Are you mad at Ken-chan? Did he do something wrong?" Innocence as only a small child can manage touched his words. Though Angel knew he would not understand everything that happened between the adults, he wanted to know why his father looked so sad all the time.
Blinking tears back into the depths of his cinnamon eyes, Daisuke found they would not stay out of his voice. "Why do you say that, little one?" The words caught in his throat.
The boy scratched at his head forgetting about the ice on his hands. "You always talked about how much you miss him, and you were sad. But now you see him and you're still sad. How come? Did he hurt you?"
He took a deep breath to think of a way to explain. "That was a long time ago," he said quietly. "Some things happened and I was very hurt and very angry with… him. But I haven't been very nice to him since we got here." Shame made him drop his head.
Turning to look up at his father's face, Angel didn't notice the wetness glittering in the brown eyes. "Why? You said he was very special."
"That was a long time ago too." Daisuke laughed a bit. "You've got a great memory."
Angel's face twisted up into a thinking scowl. "But you said you loved him with all your heart. As much as you loved Mommy."
"Oh boy," Dai muttered under his breath. At that point he was seriously rethinking explaining Ken to his son. "I shouldn't have told you all that stuff. But, yes, I do love him very much."
"So he's still special?" After a nod from his father, the boy continued. "How come you were not nice to him then? Don't you and Ken-chan love each other?"
Shock rippled through him. Daisuke felt his heart flapping in his chest, begging to be freed from its prison. His heart longed to speak the truth for him. As his eyes overflowed with the memory of the things he had said to Ken the previous night he found the words to explain to his son. "I care about him a lot, and I love him a lot, but sometimes things don't always work out, Angel," he said softly. Pulling his son onto his lap without regard for how wet and cold he would be later, Dai continued his explanation. "You remember Miyako-san?" At the boy's nod he proceeded. "Well, she and Ken-chan are married and they have three children. They all live together in a beautiful apartment here in Japan. They have a whole life together. Miyako-san loves Ken a great deal , and Ken…" his voice shut down. He had to take a few breaths and blink away the tears rapidly filling his eyes again. "Ken-chan loves her too."
"More than he loves you?"
"Yeah," Daisuke whispered kissing the boy's head. "But don't you worry! Because I'll never ever love anyone more than I love you!" A smile plastered on his face, Dai stood up with Angel in his arms to bring him inside before they froze to death.
"Never ever?"
"Never, my Angel. My precious, beautiful boy." He kissed his son again and opened the door to the downstairs lounge. Scrutinizing eyes passed over the room and its occupants.
Hikari and Takeru were engrossed in a game of chess. Tai, Yamato, and Sora were sitting together talking. The three looked serious about whatever they were discussing. Izzy, Iori, and Mimi were nowhere to be seen. In the two chairs facing the window, Miyako and Ken sat watching Daisuke. There was something different about the two that he couldn't put his finger on. Their eyes held some sort of wistfulness and an accepting sense of loss. It hit him all at once. Sadness- their dampened eyes shone with sadness. But was that an underlying joy? A sense of freedom Daisuke detected?
Forgetting the matter, Dai carried Angel upstairs to their room. After his son had bathed and departed for the gameroom downstairs, Daisuke felt something within his chest breaking. Clear cut pain scraped across every raw nerve of his body. He had sent Angel down to the careful watch of the others because he didn't want anyone to see him as he was. Thinking of only the pain, only the sadness he carried with him, he felt himself breaking down into the wreck he had tried so hard not to become. Especially in front of Angel. But, he had been asking all those questions about… About Ken…
Ken would never love him. Not the way he needed him to. No amount of Jogressing could change that. He might know Ken better than anyone, and Ken might know him, but he would never love him. Face in his hands he sobbed until his chest felt tight and dry from crying.
So many nights after Daisuke had left had been spent crying over Ken. 'Why does it still hurt so much? I thought after eight years I could handle it,' he thought. 'Instead it only hurts more. But, at least I told him the truth. Finally. I love him so much…'
Daisuke kept crying quietly to himself until he heard a knock on the door. Without even bothering to wipe his face clean of salt he stumbled to the door. "I know it's you, Ken," he called. "What do you want?"
Heavy silence expanded the seconds into centuries. "I need to talk to you," came the soft reply from the other side of the door.
He turned the knob and threw back the barrier that separated them.
*************
to be continued
Alright, so I'm not too happy with how this came out but it's how the story goes. I need to sort out the next part a little- it should be the last part so I'll repost this as one big long fic. Hope you liked, review if you want to. Angel seemed like such a cutie that I wanted to include him in the story some more… I know it's sappy.
