Notes: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Your encouragement and support means a great deal. Happy holidays to everyone. Yeah, I know that might sound a bit odd going with a sad fic, but enjoy them anyway.

Warnings: yaoi! Kensuke! Hoorah! Quite obviously, I don't own Digimon. I'm poor and I have a crappy job, don't sue, the crappy job doesn't pay very well.

CHAPTER 6

They stared at one another for a few minutes. Indigo eyes locked on liquid cinnamon as they stood in the doorway of Daisuke's room at the resort. Neither knowing what to say or how to explain things to the other. Instead they both wished for some force to push them without words. But they found that there are moments when words cannot be avoided.

Ken broke the trance first. "Can I come in? I don't really want to talk about this out in the hall."

A brisk nod and then Daisuke retreated from the door moving further back into the room. Motioning to the bed and chairs beside it he said, "Take a seat." His voice was hoarse from tears.

Ken sat in one of the chairs, Daisuke on the bed. Brown eyes lowered to study the pattern on the bedspread as if it were the most interesting thing in all the worlds. He could feel Ken's eyes on him, watching, waiting for him to say something. Inwardly he laughed. 'I'm not giving you the satisfaction Ichijouji,' he thought.

"Daisuke, please at least look at me," Ken pleaded. When the other man's head snapped up he felt a smile begin to form on his face. "Thank you." His old friend only nodded. Seeing that he was not going to get Daisuke to speak any time soon, Ken decided to simply tell him everything. "I talked to Miyako," he saw the brown eyes widen.

"You did what? Why? I mean, why would you…"

"Did you know she already knew? Yeah, we had an enormous fight. I got a few things off my chest, she unloaded some of her old baggage." He paused and sat back in the chair summoning courage to his heart and air to his lungs. "She's been having affairs. A lot of them, actually. I let it go until now because I didn't think I would ever see you again. So why would it matter who my wife was fucking around with, right?" He laughed bitterly.

Puzzlement filled Daisuke's eyes. "You mean… Holy shit! Oh, Ken I'm sorry. I know how much you care about her."

"How can you say that?" He tried to fight off the tightness growing in his chest. "How can you honestly look at me and say that?"

"Ken, she's your wife! Don't try telling me you don't care." Daisuke thought for a moment. "What do you mean you thought you would never see me again?"

"You left! You left me and didn't even say good-bye! I didn't even know where you were. And despite whatever the others told you I did try to find you. But, it seems you didn't want to be found. Not by me at any rate. Everyone knew except me." Self pity made him blink as quickly as he could. He would not cry in front of Daisuke. He wouldn't…

"Ken, you hurt me," Dai protested. "Didn't you notice how upset I was at your wedding? Did you not hear what I asked you the last time I saw you?"

"I remember. You asked me why I married her, you asked if I loved her," Ken whispered.

"You told me how much you loved her. You looked me dead in the eye and said she was the best thing that ever happened to you." Unlike Ken, Daisuke had no qualms about crying. Sobs tried to work their way around his words. "That hurt so fucking much," he whispered. "Because I was so in love with you. I would have done anything for you. I was prepared to love you until the end of everything, Ken. And you just walked away."

Getting out of the chair he knelt on the floor at Dai's feet. "Dai-chan, I didn't know. Believe me if I had…" His voice shook as he felt his eyes spill over. "I love you so much, Daisuke. More than anything." Brilliant eyes looked down at him, their pain matching his own.

"Dai-chan?" His brow rose. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Why did you marry her, Ken? Why the fuck did you marry her and leave me all alone?!" It seemed that all the pretty words in the world could not make his pain dissipate.

"Please, Daisuke," Ken begged him. He hated it- it made him feel so worthless. But he would do anything to hold onto the man he loved so much. "Listen to me. I didn't know how you felt. How the hell was I supposed to? And I never told you because I was so terrified of what you would do. Please don't leave again, Dai-chan. My Dai-tenshi."

"Oh god, Ken," he whispered. Slowly bringing his hands up, Daisuke cupped the pale face hovering above his lap. So many nights dreaming of hearing those words, so many nights of wanting to go back and make things right…

"I love you, Daisuke," Ken whispered as he rose to meet Daisuke's lips with his own.

They didn't linger on any simple touches. Tongues met with ferocity and desperate need. Moving up even more Ken eased Daisuke back onto the bed enjoying the moan brought from the other man's throat. Arms wound around each other's bodies in a flurry of desire. Daisuke tipped his head back groaning as Ken kissed down his throat. They pulled at their clothing wanting to feel everything. As pale hands swept across his skin, Dai arched into the touch needing the contact so badly. Pulling Ken back to his face he kissed him again deeply, but then pushed him away.

"Stop. We can't do this," he closed his eyes not even wanting to say the words.

Ken deadpanned. "Um, we didn't seem to be having too much difficulty…"

Opening his eyes to glare first, Daisuke cut him off. "You know what I mean. You have a wife and three children. I have Angel. We can't, Ken," he said as if it were so simple. Seeing the incredible blue eyes fill with distress he pulled him into a close hug. "I can't just sleep with you and then leave. It wouldn't be fair. Miyako knows about this I take it?"

Ken nodded against the muscular shoulder. "Yeah, we talked about some of this. Things are a bit tense at the moment." The skin against his cheek was deliciously smooth but before Ken could lose himself again he pulled away. "What do you mean leave?"

He looked away, uncomfortable. "I can't stay here, Ken-chan. Angel started pre-school this year. I have a good job in San Francisco. I can't just pick up and leave. Not when you and Miyako haven't figured things out yet." Sighing, he met his love's gaze again. "No matter how much I love you I can't jump when you tell me to, Ken. I love you with every fiber of my being but it isn't fair to ask me to abandon my life for you."

Once again, he met defeat. Debates warred in his mind. Yet, he knew Daisuke was right. Leaning forward he kissed the other man's forehead. "You're right," he said pressing his forehead to Dai's. Shining brown filled his vision. "I love you, Dai-chan. Anything you want. I'll wait for you, if you'll wait for me." The blush from his love surprised him.

"Sounds good to me, Ken-chan. I promise I won't keep you waiting long."

*************

At the airport they held each other close, almost crying but not quite. Ken wanted to hold Daisuke forever, but he did have to work things through with Miyako.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Dai," he murmured against the auburn hair. A small tug at his pantleg made him look down.

"Will you miss me too, Ken-chan?" Angel's eyes were huge.

Ken stooped to pick him up and hug him tightly. "I'll miss you like you're one of my own children, Little Tenshi."

"Okay," came the small voice. A serious expression fixed itself on his face. "And don't make my Daddy sad anymore!" When Ken agreed he brightened. "Okay! I'll miss you Ken-chan." The boy dropped to a whisper, "And I promise I'll make Daddy come and visit you soon."

He laughed and gave Angel another hug. Pulling Daisuke into his arms again he felt sadness swelling in his eyes. "Merry Christmas, I guess. I love you, Dai-chan. Come back to me."

Daisuke felt tears in his own eyes as well. "I love you too, Ken-koi. But this is the way things have to be." After placing a quick kiss on Ken's cheek he bent down to pick up Angel. "I'll see you soon, Ken-chan, I promise. Merry Christmas, koi."

One more kiss and they parted ways once again. Ken stood in the airport watching as father and son boarded the plane. He stayed through their take-off. One hand to the windows, he could feel tears sliding down his face. His other hand rubbed his cheek where Daisuke's lips had touched. "I love you…"

"I'll see you soon, Ken-chan, I promise. Merry Christmas…"

***

end

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