WARNING: This is an incredibly stupid story. Yes, it's supposed to be this crappy. I wanted to write something where everyone was out of character and nothing made any sense, after wading through so many lousy stories like that. Oh, and it has yaoi...*stupid* yaoi.
Copyright stuff: None of these characters are mine (except Clyde) and belong to their respective copyright holders. I'm not using them to make money. Nobody would willingly pay for this.
Chapter 1
It was a lovely spring day in Kyoto. The sun shone down on the bright blossoms that covered the ground in splashes of color. Birds were chirping sweetly. Kenshin was busy washing the dishes for his Sephiroth the One-Winged Exotic Dancer. He stopped doing boring stuff and went outside to see what a nice day it was. A perfect setting for a retarded yaoi story involving a picnic or some such out-of-character foolishness.
Hello, Kenshin. I've been waiting for you... said the random guy who was trying to steal Kenshin away from Sephiroth. Kenshin followed the mysterious voice. It belonged to a tall man with very very pale skin. He had long (dyed) black hair and glowing yellow eyes. He was actually really creepy and cheesy looking, but for some reason Kenshin thought he was trustworthy. *Hmm,* thought Kenshin, *his eyes are glowing. That's very reassuring.*
Wh...what's your name? asked Kenshin, surprised by the shakiness of his voice.
My name, said the man, is Clyde. Clyde Dracula.
That doesn't sound Japanese, said Kenshin.
It's not, said Clyde.
said Kenshin.
For a good ten minutes he forgot that there was more to the story. He was too busy being mystified by the strange, pleasant feelings he got from staring at Clyde. He didn't realize that it might be fun for him but really boring for everyone else. Finally he snapped out of it.
Why are you here? Kenshin asked him. (Surprisingly, Clyde was still there.)
I am here to fulfill an ancient prophecy.
What does that have to do with me? Kenshin was confused.
It's a prophecy that says you should have wild passionate sex with me.
Oh, okay, said Kenshin. Hey, wait a minute! Let me see some proof of this prophecy.
