Felt I had to have a prelude to this one. I just kindve assumed that all
the people on the show would know Ryoga's little *secret* by the time this
happened. I just want to tell you that I believe that this is the way it
should go... Oh, and I was only really gonna write one, these stupid things
have a way of continuing themselves. Anyway. If any of you take this fic
without expressed written consent by me, I will hunt you down, dye your
hair red, and throw you into a pit of rabid Kunos.
Holy Matrimony!
Ryoga-Ukyo
"MARRIED?" Ukyo shouted, scooting back from the proffered ring. Ryoga smiled, baring his outsized canines.
"Yeah, I suppose it would kinda follow the latest trend, ne?" He said. Ukyo grinned.
"I suppose." she said, thinking of the two happy couples, Ranma and Akane and Mousse and Shampoo.
"Don't think it's just because Akane is taken.." Ryoga said, looking a little worried, "I feel like all our work has really been building up to this," he finished. Ukyo looked at him.
"Work?" she said, confused.
"You know, trying to separate those two." He said.
"Oh, yeah," she remembered, "But that was just us as a team, not anything big.." She protested.
"I always felt like we were the only sane ones, I felt a camaraderie, I suppose. But then, in that cave.. (see Ranma ½, One Flew Over The Kuno's Nest) what they thought. and I realized, it was sort of true. Then at the wedding.." Ukyo nodded.
"I felt so betrayed, but having you there helped, and, even though all our hard work had failed, it didn't really feel so bad, once I was in your arms." Ukyo said, the truth dawning on her.
"So, you see, I feel like it isn't really a huge deal. See, it's kind of like we've been dating.. all those years.." Ryoga said, drifting off. Ukyo nodded.
"I know what you mean," she said, tears in her eyes, "All right, let's do it!" she shouted, grinning. Then she paused, "You think we could elope?" Ryoga was taken aback.
"Elope, but why?" he asked.
"You saw what happened at the other two weddings. I just don't want all those people around.. They're kind of nuts." She said, shrugging. Ryoga nodded. From the bushes, a pair of beady eyes lurked.
"Ha ha ha! I shall ruin their plan!" The little ninja said. He ran off, giggling.
At the Tendo Dojo:
"Ranma, oh master Ranma!" the ninja shouted.
"What is it?" Ranma said, a little irked at being called 'master', even though he was a karate master.
"Oh master Ranma, important news," The ninja proceeded to whisper the entire plot in Ranma's ear.
"Oh, is he now?" Ranma said, a grin spreading across his face. Akane, across the table, looked at him funny.
"What is it?" she asked. Ranma whispered it in her ear, as the ninja ran back to the Kuno mansion, fulfilling his evil deed of the day for Kodachi. Akane giggled.
"Oh, I knew it all along!" She said. She ran outside, ready to tell Ukyo that she knew. Ranma paused for a moment, then got up, yelling,
"Wait, not yet!"
Meanwhile, back at the meeting place:
"That would be perfect!" Ukyo shouted.
"I know," Ryoga said, "I love orange and black for a wedding tux, too." Just then it started to rain, "Oh, crap, this alwa- squeel!" Ryoga said. He, now P-chan, jumped into Ukyo's arms. Just then again, Akane ran up.
"Oh Ukyo! You found P-chan! But, where's Ryoga?" she said, grinning.
"Ryo- But he's-" Ukyo started, but P-chan squealed for her to silence. Ranma-chan ran up behind Akane. Akane smiled at her.
"And you thought that I was the slow one!" she said. Ranma-chan grinned, then kissed her, lingering for a few moments after the end to whisper in her ear,
"Don't tell them yet, we want it to be a surprise!" Akane nodded, then whispered back,
"I wasn't going to tell anyway, Ryoga isn't here!" Ranma-chan stepped back.
"You mean you don't-" she asked. Akane gave her a look.
"Don't what, Ranma Saotome?" she asked. Ranma-chan grinned, giving P- chan a look.
"I'll tell you later, Mrs. Saotome," he said. Ukyo glared at him, suspicious, but then Akane smiled reassuringly.
"So anyway Ukyo." she said, "I'll have to see you later, just bring P- chan back when you come home! Keep a good eye on him, he's always disappearing!" Ukyo laughed, and P-chan grunted. Akane grabbed Ranma-chan by the arm, and ran out, dragging him, er her, behind her. Ukyo smiled.
"That was a close one!" she shouted, "Now let's get some hot water for you."
At the Neko Hanten, which was now owned by Mousse and Shampoo, Ryoga and Ukyo discussed their plan, and other things.
"So why do you think she hasn't figured out yet?" Ukyo asked. Shampoo walked up.
"Figure out what? That Ryoga same animal as P-chan?" She said. Ryoga grunted, exactly like a pig.
"And what was that supposed to mean?" he said, joking. Shampoo grinned, tossing her long purple hair. She sat down.
"Shampoo thinking this," she started, "Akane accept what she see, when she see Ryoga, she not see P-chan. Who ever ask, why P-chan and Ryoga not ever in same room? Not Shampoo." Ukyo nodded. Ryoga nodded.
"What I don't understand is why doesn't she think it's strange that Ryoga will fall in water and P-chan will come out, or when Ryoga gets doused with water, and P-chan is there?" Ryoga shrugged.
"Akane just kind of accepts what she sees." Ryoga said. Mousse walked up, putting his arms around Shampoo from behind.
"Besides, you guys are always jumping from one place to the next, and she might just assume that you jumped on top of some building or another." He said, smiling down at Shampoo. Ukyo put her hand on Ryoga's. He looked at her, eyes wide, then took it. Shampoo looked up at Mousse, then gestured towards the two at the table.
"Shampoo think something is up," she said. Mousse smiled.
"If it is, we'll hear about it soon enough." He said. The two at the table noticed the stares and parted, whistling innocently. Then they explained their plan.
"So can you help us?" Ryoga asked.
"Shampoo love to!" Shampoo said, grinning. Mousse nodded.
"We could do it tonight!" he said.
Middle of the night at the Tendo dojo.
"OW!" Ryoga shouted.
"Shh! Be quiet!" Ukyo warned.
"I can't help it, that hurt!" Ryoga whimpered. Ukyo gave him a look he could see, even in the dark.
"You would make less noise as P-chan, ne?" Ukyo asked.
"I suppose, but that doesn't really have-" He was cut off as Ukyo sprayed him with water from the faucet. His protests were naught but an angry squeal.
"Shh, you said you would make less noise!" she whispered. She carried him out into the night.
At The Neko Hanten..
"Ow, that's my arm!" Nabiki cried.
"It is?" Happosai asked. He shifted.
"YOU LECH!!!" Nabiki said, slapping him across the room. Akane sweatdropped.
"Shhh!!" She hissed, "I hear something!" Genma, a panda as usual, held up a sign, reading 'Sounds vaguely familiar' Cologne, hiding near him, grabbed it.
"Give me that!" she shouted, "Geez, do you need all those signs?" Genma held up one reading 'give me that back you withered up old woman!'
"Do you have one of those for every occasion, you sweaty old panda?" Cologne asked. He held up another reading 'Well screw you too!' (anyone who doesn't watch newsradio, or who isn't friends with Kel, will not get this one) the door creaked open.
"Hello?" Ukyo said, "Anyone here?" The lights flashed on.
"SURPRISE!!!!" everyone called. Ukyo blinked. She dropped P-chan.
"What? How did everyone get here? DID YOU TELL THEM??" she screamed at P-chan, readying to hit him with her spatula.
"What? What in the world does that mean?? AND WHERE'S RYOGA?" Akane screeched, "You can't have a wedding without a groom!" she said. The entire room stared at her.
"You mean you didn't know?" Soun asked.
"KNOW WHAT??" she screamed. Nabiki hurried over to her, and whispered in her ear.
"Oops, I was going to tell her," Ranma said. Akane stood in shock. Then she turned to Ranma, seething.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME??????" she screeched. Ranma blanched. Well, someone is sleeping on the couch tonight. That's what Genma's next sign read. Ranma snatched it.
"Rrrr.." He growled. The priest.. (yes the random one, the one who has been doing all these weddings, let's call him father Random)
Father Random gave the group a look.
"Shall we commence?" he asked. The rest smiled.
"YES!!" Ukyo shouted, "Just give the groom a moment to get ready." She pushed P-chan into the kitchen, and shut the door. Akane was still glaring at Ranma, and the entire room was in a state of unrest.
"Ok. I'm just gonna go get my dress on," Ukyo said, edging into another room.
A few minutes later..
"Dearly beloved." Father Random said. (just in case you didn't know, those are about the only words I know from the wedding ceremony) Ryoga and Ukyo's ceremony went off without a hitch. Until, the vows.
"I do.." Ryoga said. The priest squinted at a wrinkly piece of paper in front of him.
"It seems that Ryoga would like to read his own vows." he said. Ryoga stepped up.
"Ukyo, will you take me, Ryoga, as your lawfully wedded husband, in pigness and in health, in poorness and in wealth, in lostness and in found, and just take me all around?" The last line seemed to imply something, but it rhymed, so the guests just took it as they wanted. Ukyo smiled.
"I do," she said, smiling. The priest grinned.
"You may kiss the bride," he said. Ryoga did.
Later, with cake..
"Wow, Ryoga, this sort of reminds me of Akane's wedding." Ukyo said.
"Yeah, except less gender-bending." Ryoga said, smiling. Ukyo laughed.
"Much less of that.." she said. She looked into Ryoga's eyes. Then, very softly, and very tentatively, she kissed him. Then she smiled.
"What?" Ryoga said.
"Just testing.." Ukyo replied, smiling.
"Did I pass?" he asked. She smiled, leaning her head against his chest.
"I think it'll work out just fine," she said. Ryoga smiled, he hoped so too.
THE END
Holy Matrimony!
Ryoga-Ukyo
"MARRIED?" Ukyo shouted, scooting back from the proffered ring. Ryoga smiled, baring his outsized canines.
"Yeah, I suppose it would kinda follow the latest trend, ne?" He said. Ukyo grinned.
"I suppose." she said, thinking of the two happy couples, Ranma and Akane and Mousse and Shampoo.
"Don't think it's just because Akane is taken.." Ryoga said, looking a little worried, "I feel like all our work has really been building up to this," he finished. Ukyo looked at him.
"Work?" she said, confused.
"You know, trying to separate those two." He said.
"Oh, yeah," she remembered, "But that was just us as a team, not anything big.." She protested.
"I always felt like we were the only sane ones, I felt a camaraderie, I suppose. But then, in that cave.. (see Ranma ½, One Flew Over The Kuno's Nest) what they thought. and I realized, it was sort of true. Then at the wedding.." Ukyo nodded.
"I felt so betrayed, but having you there helped, and, even though all our hard work had failed, it didn't really feel so bad, once I was in your arms." Ukyo said, the truth dawning on her.
"So, you see, I feel like it isn't really a huge deal. See, it's kind of like we've been dating.. all those years.." Ryoga said, drifting off. Ukyo nodded.
"I know what you mean," she said, tears in her eyes, "All right, let's do it!" she shouted, grinning. Then she paused, "You think we could elope?" Ryoga was taken aback.
"Elope, but why?" he asked.
"You saw what happened at the other two weddings. I just don't want all those people around.. They're kind of nuts." She said, shrugging. Ryoga nodded. From the bushes, a pair of beady eyes lurked.
"Ha ha ha! I shall ruin their plan!" The little ninja said. He ran off, giggling.
At the Tendo Dojo:
"Ranma, oh master Ranma!" the ninja shouted.
"What is it?" Ranma said, a little irked at being called 'master', even though he was a karate master.
"Oh master Ranma, important news," The ninja proceeded to whisper the entire plot in Ranma's ear.
"Oh, is he now?" Ranma said, a grin spreading across his face. Akane, across the table, looked at him funny.
"What is it?" she asked. Ranma whispered it in her ear, as the ninja ran back to the Kuno mansion, fulfilling his evil deed of the day for Kodachi. Akane giggled.
"Oh, I knew it all along!" She said. She ran outside, ready to tell Ukyo that she knew. Ranma paused for a moment, then got up, yelling,
"Wait, not yet!"
Meanwhile, back at the meeting place:
"That would be perfect!" Ukyo shouted.
"I know," Ryoga said, "I love orange and black for a wedding tux, too." Just then it started to rain, "Oh, crap, this alwa- squeel!" Ryoga said. He, now P-chan, jumped into Ukyo's arms. Just then again, Akane ran up.
"Oh Ukyo! You found P-chan! But, where's Ryoga?" she said, grinning.
"Ryo- But he's-" Ukyo started, but P-chan squealed for her to silence. Ranma-chan ran up behind Akane. Akane smiled at her.
"And you thought that I was the slow one!" she said. Ranma-chan grinned, then kissed her, lingering for a few moments after the end to whisper in her ear,
"Don't tell them yet, we want it to be a surprise!" Akane nodded, then whispered back,
"I wasn't going to tell anyway, Ryoga isn't here!" Ranma-chan stepped back.
"You mean you don't-" she asked. Akane gave her a look.
"Don't what, Ranma Saotome?" she asked. Ranma-chan grinned, giving P- chan a look.
"I'll tell you later, Mrs. Saotome," he said. Ukyo glared at him, suspicious, but then Akane smiled reassuringly.
"So anyway Ukyo." she said, "I'll have to see you later, just bring P- chan back when you come home! Keep a good eye on him, he's always disappearing!" Ukyo laughed, and P-chan grunted. Akane grabbed Ranma-chan by the arm, and ran out, dragging him, er her, behind her. Ukyo smiled.
"That was a close one!" she shouted, "Now let's get some hot water for you."
At the Neko Hanten, which was now owned by Mousse and Shampoo, Ryoga and Ukyo discussed their plan, and other things.
"So why do you think she hasn't figured out yet?" Ukyo asked. Shampoo walked up.
"Figure out what? That Ryoga same animal as P-chan?" She said. Ryoga grunted, exactly like a pig.
"And what was that supposed to mean?" he said, joking. Shampoo grinned, tossing her long purple hair. She sat down.
"Shampoo thinking this," she started, "Akane accept what she see, when she see Ryoga, she not see P-chan. Who ever ask, why P-chan and Ryoga not ever in same room? Not Shampoo." Ukyo nodded. Ryoga nodded.
"What I don't understand is why doesn't she think it's strange that Ryoga will fall in water and P-chan will come out, or when Ryoga gets doused with water, and P-chan is there?" Ryoga shrugged.
"Akane just kind of accepts what she sees." Ryoga said. Mousse walked up, putting his arms around Shampoo from behind.
"Besides, you guys are always jumping from one place to the next, and she might just assume that you jumped on top of some building or another." He said, smiling down at Shampoo. Ukyo put her hand on Ryoga's. He looked at her, eyes wide, then took it. Shampoo looked up at Mousse, then gestured towards the two at the table.
"Shampoo think something is up," she said. Mousse smiled.
"If it is, we'll hear about it soon enough." He said. The two at the table noticed the stares and parted, whistling innocently. Then they explained their plan.
"So can you help us?" Ryoga asked.
"Shampoo love to!" Shampoo said, grinning. Mousse nodded.
"We could do it tonight!" he said.
Middle of the night at the Tendo dojo.
"OW!" Ryoga shouted.
"Shh! Be quiet!" Ukyo warned.
"I can't help it, that hurt!" Ryoga whimpered. Ukyo gave him a look he could see, even in the dark.
"You would make less noise as P-chan, ne?" Ukyo asked.
"I suppose, but that doesn't really have-" He was cut off as Ukyo sprayed him with water from the faucet. His protests were naught but an angry squeal.
"Shh, you said you would make less noise!" she whispered. She carried him out into the night.
At The Neko Hanten..
"Ow, that's my arm!" Nabiki cried.
"It is?" Happosai asked. He shifted.
"YOU LECH!!!" Nabiki said, slapping him across the room. Akane sweatdropped.
"Shhh!!" She hissed, "I hear something!" Genma, a panda as usual, held up a sign, reading 'Sounds vaguely familiar' Cologne, hiding near him, grabbed it.
"Give me that!" she shouted, "Geez, do you need all those signs?" Genma held up one reading 'give me that back you withered up old woman!'
"Do you have one of those for every occasion, you sweaty old panda?" Cologne asked. He held up another reading 'Well screw you too!' (anyone who doesn't watch newsradio, or who isn't friends with Kel, will not get this one) the door creaked open.
"Hello?" Ukyo said, "Anyone here?" The lights flashed on.
"SURPRISE!!!!" everyone called. Ukyo blinked. She dropped P-chan.
"What? How did everyone get here? DID YOU TELL THEM??" she screamed at P-chan, readying to hit him with her spatula.
"What? What in the world does that mean?? AND WHERE'S RYOGA?" Akane screeched, "You can't have a wedding without a groom!" she said. The entire room stared at her.
"You mean you didn't know?" Soun asked.
"KNOW WHAT??" she screamed. Nabiki hurried over to her, and whispered in her ear.
"Oops, I was going to tell her," Ranma said. Akane stood in shock. Then she turned to Ranma, seething.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME??????" she screeched. Ranma blanched. Well, someone is sleeping on the couch tonight. That's what Genma's next sign read. Ranma snatched it.
"Rrrr.." He growled. The priest.. (yes the random one, the one who has been doing all these weddings, let's call him father Random)
Father Random gave the group a look.
"Shall we commence?" he asked. The rest smiled.
"YES!!" Ukyo shouted, "Just give the groom a moment to get ready." She pushed P-chan into the kitchen, and shut the door. Akane was still glaring at Ranma, and the entire room was in a state of unrest.
"Ok. I'm just gonna go get my dress on," Ukyo said, edging into another room.
A few minutes later..
"Dearly beloved." Father Random said. (just in case you didn't know, those are about the only words I know from the wedding ceremony) Ryoga and Ukyo's ceremony went off without a hitch. Until, the vows.
"I do.." Ryoga said. The priest squinted at a wrinkly piece of paper in front of him.
"It seems that Ryoga would like to read his own vows." he said. Ryoga stepped up.
"Ukyo, will you take me, Ryoga, as your lawfully wedded husband, in pigness and in health, in poorness and in wealth, in lostness and in found, and just take me all around?" The last line seemed to imply something, but it rhymed, so the guests just took it as they wanted. Ukyo smiled.
"I do," she said, smiling. The priest grinned.
"You may kiss the bride," he said. Ryoga did.
Later, with cake..
"Wow, Ryoga, this sort of reminds me of Akane's wedding." Ukyo said.
"Yeah, except less gender-bending." Ryoga said, smiling. Ukyo laughed.
"Much less of that.." she said. She looked into Ryoga's eyes. Then, very softly, and very tentatively, she kissed him. Then she smiled.
"What?" Ryoga said.
"Just testing.." Ukyo replied, smiling.
"Did I pass?" he asked. She smiled, leaning her head against his chest.
"I think it'll work out just fine," she said. Ryoga smiled, he hoped so too.
THE END
