Author: Tiger_lily
Note: here is chapter three.. which is post AJBAC. Hope you like : )
The song here is Phil Collins ' Two hearts'
I'm thinking to do a Zack PoW of post AJBAC later. Out
*~*~*
Two Hearts
*
Well there was no reason to believe she'd always be there
But if you don't put faith in what you're believin', it's getting nowhere
And it teaches you to never give up, don't look down, just look up
'Cos she's always there behind you, just to remind you
Two hearts believing in just one mind
You know it, two hearts believing in just one mind
*
Here I lie.
In these green scrubs.
In this bed.
In this place I swore I would never return
The walls are still the same grey I remember. Same cold concrete and barred windows. Manticore really needs a new interior decorator
But I still feel safe.
Why?
Could it be the drugs they injected into me?
Sure, maybe I'm hallucinating, but it takes more than those lame-ass drugs to knock this girl out
No, it's the constant thud, thud, thud I can feel in here.
Inside
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still imagine him besides me. Hearing his words, feeling the strong beat of his heart gives me strength. Strength enough to beat this bitch.
.
Zack gave me something precious. He gave me life.
***
Well there was no easy way to, to understand it
'Cos there's so much of my love in her, as I've got plenty
And it teaches you to never let go, there's so much love you'll never know
'Cos she can reach you, no matter how far, wherever you are
Two hearts believing in just one mind
Beating together till the end of time
You know it, two hearts believing in just one mind
Together forever till the end of time
*
Fight them Maxie. Promise me you'll fight them.
I promise.
Even though he's gone, some part of me will always believe he's still alive. If not in body, then in here. Inside of me. He's such a strong presence now. Always whispering to me, guiding me like he always has.
I was angry, so angry when I woke up the first time and found that bitch by my bed. To hear her cold tormenting words.
Thud. Thud. Thud
"Listen to that. That's strong, isn't it? That is the heart of a soldier "
No.
"A leader"
No, please- no
A martyr."
No- it can't be
Turn if off
"Turn it off"
"He was quite a man, your brother, Zack. He must've loved you very much... "
NO!
Thud. Thud. Thud.
"-to make this sacrifice. "
Zack!
"TURN IT OFF!"
My mind was streaming. WHY?
Why did you do that?
You had so much to live for? The others.
You foolish boy!
Why did you surrender?
But there's no need for asking really. I know the answers.
Zack loved me, the kind of pure beautiful love you don't find often
.
He wasn't sure what love was. He didn't even know how to recognize it. He always said he didn't believe in it.
But Zack has always been about action. So instead of finding fumbling words to express how he felt, he showed me.
"But isn't it comforting to know that- "
Shut up
" - a part of him lives on in you?"
No o o o o! Zack- SHUT UP
White light.
Blurs of colors
Red
Green. Blue
Yellow. Purple. Orange
A child's laughter
Zack
". come home? "
Red. Green. Blue. Yellow. Purple. Orange
"To me?"
Red.
A paper kaleidoscope. We found one once. In the forest. It must have floated in the breeze. We all gathered around Zack as he put his eye to it. We were tense. What was it?
Zack laughed
We all shrunk back a little, shocked. We'd never heard that sound before. We didn't even know if we were capable of it.
We'd heard some weird raspy sounds from the throats of the guards. But we'd just assumed that it was some kind of weakness. An anomaly. I remember Eva describing it to me. She tried to copy it. It sounded like a cough. Zack said it must be a sickness. Coughs were bad.
The light sound that came out of Zack's throat wasn't loud. It was kind of raspy, like he had to clear his throat after years of having a sore throat. But it was pure. Pure joy. And from then on we liked 'laughter'
He passed the kaleidoscope on and each of us looked inside. I remember looking inside and seeing such brightness in the world. In all different colors and they were all beautiful. We'd of course been taught the names of all the colors before we knew our names. But we'd only seen somberness in them. Navy. Black. Gray. Khaki. Khaki was most common. Suddenly the world was full of light and joy and brightness. I liked all the colors. But I liked red the best. This was after the red balloon. Before I realized what color blood was. Before Jack died, Eva died, Tinga died, Zack.
No. Not yet.
We all tried to mimic Zack's 'laugh.' We all sounded different. That's when I realized that we were all different. Of course we'd noticed it before. We had different eyes, or hair or skin. But it hadn't matter. To me we were all the same. But know, hearing those weak, but strong sounds of laughing emerge after years of silence. I remember thinking Jondy sounded like a donkey. But it was then that I realized we were all individuals.
It was only a little while later that we found names.
But that day. Where the colors surrounded my head, making my world bright and colorful. It was a day for children. Not soldiers. Children. Not yet to know better.
Now I'm back where I started.
And I'm not a child anymore.
Then I heard it. A whisper. Maybe just a memory.
Fight them Maxie-
-Promise me you'll fight them-
I promise.
After she closed that door, I prayed. I prayed for the first time in my life. I had never really enthusiastic about religion. After the things I'd seen, after the things I'd done to believe some high mighty actually condoned it- why would he be so cruel?
And I'd never been into the Blue Lady. Didn't have the twisted faith Ben had in her. In some way I see now that he was testing her. Testing the faith of the people who believed in her. Well Ben had always wanted to make a difference. I'd just always thought he'd do it by becoming a rock star or something.
But I'm no angel. Look what I did to Ben. It's hard. Hard to even forgive myself.
But I didn't need to. Zack did it for me.
But Zack had always accepted me. He took me in, time after time.
But even if I didn't have much faith, I was no atheist either. There just never was the occasion where I felt I needed guidance. Zack was always there. He always made sure I knew what I needed to do. Besides, it felt wrong to pray when you need something. Like when something terrible happens and someone suddenly has faith. Like God's gonna fall for that.
But what do you do when you're alone for the first time in your life?
So I lay there and I said a couple of prays to her. God. If I was going to believe in her at all, I'll believe she's a kick-ass female thank you very much
I wasn't sure what to say. What to do you say to someone you've never met? Or never talked to? Hello, I've never really believed in you, but since I've just had a heart transplant I'm going to pray to you? But I had to try.
For Zack
I closed my eyes. And whispered "Take care of him" like a mantra in my head. Like maybe if I repeated it enough, it would come true.
I closed my eyes and he came then. Just an image. Just a memory. But he was there.
Flash of yellow hair. A smile. His gentle fingers on my hair. His solid warmth as I clung behind him as we sped through the night. His strong grip on me as we swung away from the troops at his apartment.
Just a memory.
But enough
Even now with him gone, Zack made sure I knew what I needed to do.
I need to live. For him. For me.
He always understood me better without words.
You're here Zack.
Inside your heart. My heart
*
Well she knows, there'll always be a special place in my heart for her
She knows, she knows, she knows
Yeah she knows, no matter how far apart we go, she knows
I'm always right there beside her
With two hearts believing in just one mind
Beating together till the end of time
You know it, two hearts, but believing in just one mind
Together forever till the end of time
____________________________________________________________________________ __________
Well?
R& R please
'Cos I live to please : )
Note: here is chapter three.. which is post AJBAC. Hope you like : )
The song here is Phil Collins ' Two hearts'
I'm thinking to do a Zack PoW of post AJBAC later. Out
*~*~*
Two Hearts
*
Well there was no reason to believe she'd always be there
But if you don't put faith in what you're believin', it's getting nowhere
And it teaches you to never give up, don't look down, just look up
'Cos she's always there behind you, just to remind you
Two hearts believing in just one mind
You know it, two hearts believing in just one mind
*
Here I lie.
In these green scrubs.
In this bed.
In this place I swore I would never return
The walls are still the same grey I remember. Same cold concrete and barred windows. Manticore really needs a new interior decorator
But I still feel safe.
Why?
Could it be the drugs they injected into me?
Sure, maybe I'm hallucinating, but it takes more than those lame-ass drugs to knock this girl out
No, it's the constant thud, thud, thud I can feel in here.
Inside
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still imagine him besides me. Hearing his words, feeling the strong beat of his heart gives me strength. Strength enough to beat this bitch.
.
Zack gave me something precious. He gave me life.
***
Well there was no easy way to, to understand it
'Cos there's so much of my love in her, as I've got plenty
And it teaches you to never let go, there's so much love you'll never know
'Cos she can reach you, no matter how far, wherever you are
Two hearts believing in just one mind
Beating together till the end of time
You know it, two hearts believing in just one mind
Together forever till the end of time
*
Fight them Maxie. Promise me you'll fight them.
I promise.
Even though he's gone, some part of me will always believe he's still alive. If not in body, then in here. Inside of me. He's such a strong presence now. Always whispering to me, guiding me like he always has.
I was angry, so angry when I woke up the first time and found that bitch by my bed. To hear her cold tormenting words.
Thud. Thud. Thud
"Listen to that. That's strong, isn't it? That is the heart of a soldier "
No.
"A leader"
No, please- no
A martyr."
No- it can't be
Turn if off
"Turn it off"
"He was quite a man, your brother, Zack. He must've loved you very much... "
NO!
Thud. Thud. Thud.
"-to make this sacrifice. "
Zack!
"TURN IT OFF!"
My mind was streaming. WHY?
Why did you do that?
You had so much to live for? The others.
You foolish boy!
Why did you surrender?
But there's no need for asking really. I know the answers.
Zack loved me, the kind of pure beautiful love you don't find often
.
He wasn't sure what love was. He didn't even know how to recognize it. He always said he didn't believe in it.
But Zack has always been about action. So instead of finding fumbling words to express how he felt, he showed me.
"But isn't it comforting to know that- "
Shut up
" - a part of him lives on in you?"
No o o o o! Zack- SHUT UP
White light.
Blurs of colors
Red
Green. Blue
Yellow. Purple. Orange
A child's laughter
Zack
". come home? "
Red. Green. Blue. Yellow. Purple. Orange
"To me?"
Red.
A paper kaleidoscope. We found one once. In the forest. It must have floated in the breeze. We all gathered around Zack as he put his eye to it. We were tense. What was it?
Zack laughed
We all shrunk back a little, shocked. We'd never heard that sound before. We didn't even know if we were capable of it.
We'd heard some weird raspy sounds from the throats of the guards. But we'd just assumed that it was some kind of weakness. An anomaly. I remember Eva describing it to me. She tried to copy it. It sounded like a cough. Zack said it must be a sickness. Coughs were bad.
The light sound that came out of Zack's throat wasn't loud. It was kind of raspy, like he had to clear his throat after years of having a sore throat. But it was pure. Pure joy. And from then on we liked 'laughter'
He passed the kaleidoscope on and each of us looked inside. I remember looking inside and seeing such brightness in the world. In all different colors and they were all beautiful. We'd of course been taught the names of all the colors before we knew our names. But we'd only seen somberness in them. Navy. Black. Gray. Khaki. Khaki was most common. Suddenly the world was full of light and joy and brightness. I liked all the colors. But I liked red the best. This was after the red balloon. Before I realized what color blood was. Before Jack died, Eva died, Tinga died, Zack.
No. Not yet.
We all tried to mimic Zack's 'laugh.' We all sounded different. That's when I realized that we were all different. Of course we'd noticed it before. We had different eyes, or hair or skin. But it hadn't matter. To me we were all the same. But know, hearing those weak, but strong sounds of laughing emerge after years of silence. I remember thinking Jondy sounded like a donkey. But it was then that I realized we were all individuals.
It was only a little while later that we found names.
But that day. Where the colors surrounded my head, making my world bright and colorful. It was a day for children. Not soldiers. Children. Not yet to know better.
Now I'm back where I started.
And I'm not a child anymore.
Then I heard it. A whisper. Maybe just a memory.
Fight them Maxie-
-Promise me you'll fight them-
I promise.
After she closed that door, I prayed. I prayed for the first time in my life. I had never really enthusiastic about religion. After the things I'd seen, after the things I'd done to believe some high mighty actually condoned it- why would he be so cruel?
And I'd never been into the Blue Lady. Didn't have the twisted faith Ben had in her. In some way I see now that he was testing her. Testing the faith of the people who believed in her. Well Ben had always wanted to make a difference. I'd just always thought he'd do it by becoming a rock star or something.
But I'm no angel. Look what I did to Ben. It's hard. Hard to even forgive myself.
But I didn't need to. Zack did it for me.
But Zack had always accepted me. He took me in, time after time.
But even if I didn't have much faith, I was no atheist either. There just never was the occasion where I felt I needed guidance. Zack was always there. He always made sure I knew what I needed to do. Besides, it felt wrong to pray when you need something. Like when something terrible happens and someone suddenly has faith. Like God's gonna fall for that.
But what do you do when you're alone for the first time in your life?
So I lay there and I said a couple of prays to her. God. If I was going to believe in her at all, I'll believe she's a kick-ass female thank you very much
I wasn't sure what to say. What to do you say to someone you've never met? Or never talked to? Hello, I've never really believed in you, but since I've just had a heart transplant I'm going to pray to you? But I had to try.
For Zack
I closed my eyes. And whispered "Take care of him" like a mantra in my head. Like maybe if I repeated it enough, it would come true.
I closed my eyes and he came then. Just an image. Just a memory. But he was there.
Flash of yellow hair. A smile. His gentle fingers on my hair. His solid warmth as I clung behind him as we sped through the night. His strong grip on me as we swung away from the troops at his apartment.
Just a memory.
But enough
Even now with him gone, Zack made sure I knew what I needed to do.
I need to live. For him. For me.
He always understood me better without words.
You're here Zack.
Inside your heart. My heart
*
Well she knows, there'll always be a special place in my heart for her
She knows, she knows, she knows
Yeah she knows, no matter how far apart we go, she knows
I'm always right there beside her
With two hearts believing in just one mind
Beating together till the end of time
You know it, two hearts, but believing in just one mind
Together forever till the end of time
____________________________________________________________________________ __________
Well?
R& R please
'Cos I live to please : )
