Author: Tiger_lily
Notes: Okay, originally this story was just some Max/Zack drabble inspired by my fanart of Max in Seatle thinking about Zack. That inspired Chapter 1, but I enjoyed writing it so much I decided to continue it by writing what I think Max/Zack afterthoughts would be on some important episodes.
Then I enjoyed writing up to Chapter 5 so much I thought. heck! Why don't I just create a story about Adam and his feelings about not knowing who he is? So that was created, but that was still on safe territory. And that ended with him going to Seatle, still not remembering his name or Manticore, only Max.
Then through some feedback (Thanx guys. U rule : ) I thought, why not continue this story and find out what happens when Adam reaches Seatle? This is really a leap of faith, 'cos I'm not very imaginative and I thought I would just stuff it up.
But there are a few stories about Adam gaining his memories and finding Max and then consequently Logan posted on this site by very talented authors. I wanted to make mine different from theirs.
This is the brain juice that resulted
Hope I don't disappoint.
*~*~*~*~*
I'm living two lives, I'm high and I'm low
To my eyes, I push and I pull
Jekyll or Hyde, You'll never be sure, Sometimes
Light as a bird, Doesn't seem right
I am a gun and I am loaded
I'm taking you down, I'll take you down
I am a bomb about to go and
You're going down, I'll take you down
Breakin' you down, I'm pounding you down
Breakin' you down, I'm taking you down
Fillin' your eyes, Now that you know
You're inside, Locked in the door
You know you can't hide
Cause I have a key, You'll find
The beast within me, Now is the time
I am a gun and I am loaded
I' m taking you down, I'll take you down
I am a bomb about to go
No one in the streets noticed the stolen pickup cruise through the city streets.
Music blared on the radio. It was dark, but the streets were lit up with lights and nocturnal festivities. No one noticed the driver surveying the people and their activities, his blue eyes flicking, absorbing information at an astonishing rate.
So this was Seattle.
Sorta not the town he'd expected Max to settle in. It was so open. So exposed.
That was the militant side of him talking.
I wonder where I get that from?
But she was here. He could feel it. And he was going to find her.
Cruising past the animated streets, watching strangers ease themselves into the darkness, he saw things that would scare normal people. But it comforted him. To know worse things happened to people in the world than just losing their identity. The sleazy guy with the mohawk begging for his life in front of the local drug lord in the building he just drove past was probably wishing to be someone else.
Actually, it wasn't so bad, he thought as the pickup passed multicolored market stalls flogging anything to make a living. Some used fire and light to attract takers like insects drawn to heat. Others dirty danced in the streets, contorting their bodies up and down, from side to side to an invisible score, themselves the main attraction.
People minded their own business here. Too absorbed in their own lives to notice yours. It was good for people who wanted to blend into the nightscape.
Like him.
Zack had always loved the night. The darkness was a companion to all those who didn't want to be noticed in the world. Looking around the streets of Seatle, there were many like him, who just wanted to mind their own lives, oblivious to the troubles of others.
Zack wasn't adverse to helping people. He was just rational. There were too many people who needed help. He couldn't help them all. So why try?
He was entering the residential area of Seatle. Every house, every apartment he passed, he wondered. Did she live there? Was that her just passing the window?
He wasn't sure where he was going.
He just drove the truck down those empty city streets, reminding him why they were called Skid Row.
He looked out of his window at the darkened skyline. The big base columns of industrial factories lined the horizon, spitting out the poison of human after-waste. The moon and stars were hard to see clearly through the smog. The Space Needle towered over the city, solitary, desolate, challenging in its stance.
He pressed a palm to his temple. There was a sharp jabbing pain in his head. Something that cried out to be heard.
There was something about that tower, a memory associated with that Space Needle that tugged at his head. Something about Max.
*Flash *
She was sitting there. Alone.
Talking to herself.
He wondered if she was feeling okay.
He stood there in the shadows. Observing her. She didn't do much. Just stared ahead at the luminous city beneath her. Just thinking, sometimes voicing thoughts out loud. A lot about this Logan guy. Sometimes about her mother, sometimes about what she'd imagined the others to be. Nothing about him.
He wondered if she ever thought about him.
He understood why she'd chosen this spot though. The Space Needle. Tallest point in Seatle. He'd read it in the travel brochure and had a hunch that somehow, at some time, she would be up here.
It was bred into them all. A love of high places.
A lot of good it did them.
Ben turned out to be a psycho killer. Jazz had thrown herself off a cliff.
And Max was up here muttering to herself like a senile senior citizen.
He wanted to alert her to his presence. But not yet. Not until he had surveyed her activities for a few days. Not until he was sure about the amount of danger she was placing herself in by staying here. Not until he'd formed an executive decision to what order to give her. And what reasons he could use to overcome that smart mouth of hers.
He would find a way to keep her safe. He always did.
*~*~*~*~~*
* End Flashback *
Max. She could be up there.
He made a sharp turn to the right. He was going to the Space Needle.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Zack surveyed the world beneath his feet.
So many people.
One for every one of the lights down below. A light for a life.
It reminded him of something they'd been taught at Manticore.
They?
Manticore?
Still more questions he couldn't answer.
By itself, one light would look weak. Meager.
But together, they created a luminous cityscape that could possibly be seen from heaven.
If there was such a thing.
He took a deep breath. There was a faint scent of her here. Just a faint whiff, but it was here and unmistakably clear to him.
Motor oil and feline. That's what she smelt like.
And she'd been here quite recently. He could gather that much.
Max.
How was he possibly going to find her?
No surname. No age. No birthdate. No idea.
It would probably be easier to choose one of the distant flickering lights below and go door-knocking.
And yet that three lettered word was the only clue he had to his past. The only one he could trust.
Or he could go and search for the elusive Logan Cale.
The guy knew everything. Yet Zack wouldn't be able to tell the truth from fiction.
And he had a feeling, deep inside him, that he couldn't trust Logan Cale.
He couldn't even trust himself.
So she wasn't here. Oh well, he had to give it a try. But just seeing the city so still was a just reward.
He took a step closer to the edge. He wondered what it would feel like if he just stepped off the edge. Many times at the farm he'd asked himself what he was living for. No family. No friends. No hope.
He could easily let himself go now. Just walk a little bit closer. Fool his body into thinking that here was enough room to walk just a little bit further. Fool his mind into relinquishing all thoughts of survival instinct and just let go. Fall from the edge into the night. And then he would have no more worries. No more cares. He would be free.
He didn't know where his soul would go. Maybe it would just cease to exist. Maybe it never had.
But the thought of Max out there somewhere, waiting to be found gave him purpose.
The thought of her made him feel that there was so much out there in the world for him.
And he could never let go of this world without knowing she was safe and happy.
Without knowing if he'd ever made her happy.
Now, watching the city that spilled over into the horizon, he felt his hope diminish somewhat. Would he ever find someone like her if she didn't want to be found?
That was the part that confused him. If she was such a big part of his life, why hadn't she hung around? Why did she leave him, alone and without knowing who he was?
Maybe she wouldn't be happy to see him when he finally found her. If he found her.
He could ask someone. Describe her long dark hair. Her deep brown eyes. Her sweet smile. Her feline grace. These details just came to him, like a tap dripping into the facet
of his mind. Sometimes he can almost see her, the memory is so strong. Sometimes it pours.
But the trouble with a city where people mind their own lives? They could've lived next to her for years and not taken notice of the beauty right under their eyes.
Hey watch it buddy, he thought to himself, Take it one day at a time.
You're not going anywhere until you find her. You have all the time in the world to find yourself.
Now he just had to find somewhere to stay the night. Somewhere to sleep, if he didn't mind playing host to a couple of nightmares tonight. Maybe a cheap motel somewhere along Skid Row. He'd passed many on his way into here.
Or maybe he'd just stay here. What better place to sleep than right on top of the world?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
He was listed
That told Zack three things about Logan Cale.
He was rich.
After the Pulse, most of the non-wealthy civilians had taken to trespassing Not much likelihood they'd want to be listed. Most of the down and out in Seatle wouldn't even have a phone.
He wanted to get robbed.
Thieves often skimmed the phone books for potential victims.
If Zack could put two and two together.
He was a confident son of a bitch.
Zack knew this from experience. A hunch from his past.
Which somehow didn't make Zack like him any more than he already didn't.
There were three 'L. Cale's in the phone book.
He dialed the first one.
"Max?"
"Sorry?"
Nope. Next.
"Max?"
"What? Who's this? Maxwell you bastard! You've been cheating on me? With a guy? I knew you were a no-good piece of s-"
Definitely not.
Last one.
An unfamiliar feeling flooded through Zack. It was worry.
This is it. The last number. The last lead Zack had that might lead to Max. After that, he was at a dead end.
Maybe this Logan guy wasn't listed. Maybe he was just.
"Maxie?"
He hoped this one was lucky.
Silence. Light breathing on the phone.
Then."Who is this? "
Something familiar about that voice.
There were strains of anxiety in that voice. For Max. His Max.
He took a breath. He had to take the risk.
" Do you know where 332960073452 is located?"
Silence. Then.
"What do you know about Max? Is she okay? Who are you?"
This man had too many questions and no answers.
This was Logan Cale.
Zack put the phone on the hook.
Guess he was paying a visit to 'Penthouse, Foggle Towers.'
Maybe just ask this Logan nicely what the hell he did to me.
Zack stepped out of the phone box. Pedestrians rushed past them. All so careless. So unaware that Zack was one step closer to finding some answers to his past.
He walked towards his truck, mind occupied with thoughts of what he was going to do or say to this Logan character. The person who'd stolen his identity.
Did he really want to find out who . or what he was?
Images of death and killing flooded his mind. Throwing his force into someone's chest to fracture ribs. Putting pressure at the spinal cord until a snap rung out - the vertebrae breaking. Blood, lots of blood, splashing onto his face, making his fingers slippery and covering his eyes. All he could see was red.
A voice.
They were designed to kill.
He was scared of what he would find from this Logan.
He didn't know where to look for some kind of comfort. For definition. So he just stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked to the sky. He didn't know what he was expecting to see. A rainbow? An angel flying across the sky, wings ready to surround him?
Suddenly in front of him, an image emerged, large and domineering, obscuring his view. It was a monstrosity as it reared towards him, black eyes ablaze. It was a crow.
It made him shiver.
Was he hallucinating? But even as he blinked, it was still there, obscuring his vision, getting closer until he could see nothing except the black pupils staring straight into his soul.
And out of the black. appeared a girl.
A girl with long dark hair and shiny dark eyes.
She was staring ahead straight at him. But she didn't seem to see him at all.
She walked straight into him without lifting her eyes to his face.
"Sorry." Quick smile.
He waited for a spark of recognition in her eyes. Nothing.
Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe it wasn't her.
She was walking away.
No. Luck had nothing to do with it.
____________________________________________________________________
There was a click.
"Dammit!"
Logan stared at the phone he was holding in his hand, frowning. The monotone dial tone rang in his ears.
Who was that?
Someone who knew Max. Someone who knew Manticore.
He started dialing a number. He had to check she was okay.
He hoped she had her pager on.
"Punk ass here. Leave a message."
Max's familiar sarcastic tone greeted his ears.
He lifted the phone to his ear.
"Max? Are you okay? Just wanted to give you a heads up." He said, staring at the blue sky outside the window. Another day. Another enemy. He was used to it.
"Just got a phone call. There's a new X-5 in town."
__________________________________________________________________
*
You're going down, I'll break you down
I'll break you down, I'll take you down.
*
__________________________________________________________________
That face. That smile.
It seemed so familiar.
As she started walking away from him, he started to follow.
I know her. She's- she's.
Now he was right behind her. That determined stride. That proud posture. It had to be.
It was.
He reached out to grab her sleeve. She turned around sharply, hair surrounding her face to form a dark halo, arm swinging around so that she caught his arm. On the defensive. Ready for attack.
She hasn't changed.
"Brin."
Her dark eyes scrutinized him.
Her lips curled into a smile.
"Hello, brother."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well? What do you think?
I've got a few interesting places where this could go.
Notes: Okay, originally this story was just some Max/Zack drabble inspired by my fanart of Max in Seatle thinking about Zack. That inspired Chapter 1, but I enjoyed writing it so much I decided to continue it by writing what I think Max/Zack afterthoughts would be on some important episodes.
Then I enjoyed writing up to Chapter 5 so much I thought. heck! Why don't I just create a story about Adam and his feelings about not knowing who he is? So that was created, but that was still on safe territory. And that ended with him going to Seatle, still not remembering his name or Manticore, only Max.
Then through some feedback (Thanx guys. U rule : ) I thought, why not continue this story and find out what happens when Adam reaches Seatle? This is really a leap of faith, 'cos I'm not very imaginative and I thought I would just stuff it up.
But there are a few stories about Adam gaining his memories and finding Max and then consequently Logan posted on this site by very talented authors. I wanted to make mine different from theirs.
This is the brain juice that resulted
Hope I don't disappoint.
*~*~*~*~*
I'm living two lives, I'm high and I'm low
To my eyes, I push and I pull
Jekyll or Hyde, You'll never be sure, Sometimes
Light as a bird, Doesn't seem right
I am a gun and I am loaded
I'm taking you down, I'll take you down
I am a bomb about to go and
You're going down, I'll take you down
Breakin' you down, I'm pounding you down
Breakin' you down, I'm taking you down
Fillin' your eyes, Now that you know
You're inside, Locked in the door
You know you can't hide
Cause I have a key, You'll find
The beast within me, Now is the time
I am a gun and I am loaded
I' m taking you down, I'll take you down
I am a bomb about to go
No one in the streets noticed the stolen pickup cruise through the city streets.
Music blared on the radio. It was dark, but the streets were lit up with lights and nocturnal festivities. No one noticed the driver surveying the people and their activities, his blue eyes flicking, absorbing information at an astonishing rate.
So this was Seattle.
Sorta not the town he'd expected Max to settle in. It was so open. So exposed.
That was the militant side of him talking.
I wonder where I get that from?
But she was here. He could feel it. And he was going to find her.
Cruising past the animated streets, watching strangers ease themselves into the darkness, he saw things that would scare normal people. But it comforted him. To know worse things happened to people in the world than just losing their identity. The sleazy guy with the mohawk begging for his life in front of the local drug lord in the building he just drove past was probably wishing to be someone else.
Actually, it wasn't so bad, he thought as the pickup passed multicolored market stalls flogging anything to make a living. Some used fire and light to attract takers like insects drawn to heat. Others dirty danced in the streets, contorting their bodies up and down, from side to side to an invisible score, themselves the main attraction.
People minded their own business here. Too absorbed in their own lives to notice yours. It was good for people who wanted to blend into the nightscape.
Like him.
Zack had always loved the night. The darkness was a companion to all those who didn't want to be noticed in the world. Looking around the streets of Seatle, there were many like him, who just wanted to mind their own lives, oblivious to the troubles of others.
Zack wasn't adverse to helping people. He was just rational. There were too many people who needed help. He couldn't help them all. So why try?
He was entering the residential area of Seatle. Every house, every apartment he passed, he wondered. Did she live there? Was that her just passing the window?
He wasn't sure where he was going.
He just drove the truck down those empty city streets, reminding him why they were called Skid Row.
He looked out of his window at the darkened skyline. The big base columns of industrial factories lined the horizon, spitting out the poison of human after-waste. The moon and stars were hard to see clearly through the smog. The Space Needle towered over the city, solitary, desolate, challenging in its stance.
He pressed a palm to his temple. There was a sharp jabbing pain in his head. Something that cried out to be heard.
There was something about that tower, a memory associated with that Space Needle that tugged at his head. Something about Max.
*Flash *
She was sitting there. Alone.
Talking to herself.
He wondered if she was feeling okay.
He stood there in the shadows. Observing her. She didn't do much. Just stared ahead at the luminous city beneath her. Just thinking, sometimes voicing thoughts out loud. A lot about this Logan guy. Sometimes about her mother, sometimes about what she'd imagined the others to be. Nothing about him.
He wondered if she ever thought about him.
He understood why she'd chosen this spot though. The Space Needle. Tallest point in Seatle. He'd read it in the travel brochure and had a hunch that somehow, at some time, she would be up here.
It was bred into them all. A love of high places.
A lot of good it did them.
Ben turned out to be a psycho killer. Jazz had thrown herself off a cliff.
And Max was up here muttering to herself like a senile senior citizen.
He wanted to alert her to his presence. But not yet. Not until he had surveyed her activities for a few days. Not until he was sure about the amount of danger she was placing herself in by staying here. Not until he'd formed an executive decision to what order to give her. And what reasons he could use to overcome that smart mouth of hers.
He would find a way to keep her safe. He always did.
*~*~*~*~~*
* End Flashback *
Max. She could be up there.
He made a sharp turn to the right. He was going to the Space Needle.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Zack surveyed the world beneath his feet.
So many people.
One for every one of the lights down below. A light for a life.
It reminded him of something they'd been taught at Manticore.
They?
Manticore?
Still more questions he couldn't answer.
By itself, one light would look weak. Meager.
But together, they created a luminous cityscape that could possibly be seen from heaven.
If there was such a thing.
He took a deep breath. There was a faint scent of her here. Just a faint whiff, but it was here and unmistakably clear to him.
Motor oil and feline. That's what she smelt like.
And she'd been here quite recently. He could gather that much.
Max.
How was he possibly going to find her?
No surname. No age. No birthdate. No idea.
It would probably be easier to choose one of the distant flickering lights below and go door-knocking.
And yet that three lettered word was the only clue he had to his past. The only one he could trust.
Or he could go and search for the elusive Logan Cale.
The guy knew everything. Yet Zack wouldn't be able to tell the truth from fiction.
And he had a feeling, deep inside him, that he couldn't trust Logan Cale.
He couldn't even trust himself.
So she wasn't here. Oh well, he had to give it a try. But just seeing the city so still was a just reward.
He took a step closer to the edge. He wondered what it would feel like if he just stepped off the edge. Many times at the farm he'd asked himself what he was living for. No family. No friends. No hope.
He could easily let himself go now. Just walk a little bit closer. Fool his body into thinking that here was enough room to walk just a little bit further. Fool his mind into relinquishing all thoughts of survival instinct and just let go. Fall from the edge into the night. And then he would have no more worries. No more cares. He would be free.
He didn't know where his soul would go. Maybe it would just cease to exist. Maybe it never had.
But the thought of Max out there somewhere, waiting to be found gave him purpose.
The thought of her made him feel that there was so much out there in the world for him.
And he could never let go of this world without knowing she was safe and happy.
Without knowing if he'd ever made her happy.
Now, watching the city that spilled over into the horizon, he felt his hope diminish somewhat. Would he ever find someone like her if she didn't want to be found?
That was the part that confused him. If she was such a big part of his life, why hadn't she hung around? Why did she leave him, alone and without knowing who he was?
Maybe she wouldn't be happy to see him when he finally found her. If he found her.
He could ask someone. Describe her long dark hair. Her deep brown eyes. Her sweet smile. Her feline grace. These details just came to him, like a tap dripping into the facet
of his mind. Sometimes he can almost see her, the memory is so strong. Sometimes it pours.
But the trouble with a city where people mind their own lives? They could've lived next to her for years and not taken notice of the beauty right under their eyes.
Hey watch it buddy, he thought to himself, Take it one day at a time.
You're not going anywhere until you find her. You have all the time in the world to find yourself.
Now he just had to find somewhere to stay the night. Somewhere to sleep, if he didn't mind playing host to a couple of nightmares tonight. Maybe a cheap motel somewhere along Skid Row. He'd passed many on his way into here.
Or maybe he'd just stay here. What better place to sleep than right on top of the world?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
He was listed
That told Zack three things about Logan Cale.
He was rich.
After the Pulse, most of the non-wealthy civilians had taken to trespassing Not much likelihood they'd want to be listed. Most of the down and out in Seatle wouldn't even have a phone.
He wanted to get robbed.
Thieves often skimmed the phone books for potential victims.
If Zack could put two and two together.
He was a confident son of a bitch.
Zack knew this from experience. A hunch from his past.
Which somehow didn't make Zack like him any more than he already didn't.
There were three 'L. Cale's in the phone book.
He dialed the first one.
"Max?"
"Sorry?"
Nope. Next.
"Max?"
"What? Who's this? Maxwell you bastard! You've been cheating on me? With a guy? I knew you were a no-good piece of s-"
Definitely not.
Last one.
An unfamiliar feeling flooded through Zack. It was worry.
This is it. The last number. The last lead Zack had that might lead to Max. After that, he was at a dead end.
Maybe this Logan guy wasn't listed. Maybe he was just.
"Maxie?"
He hoped this one was lucky.
Silence. Light breathing on the phone.
Then."Who is this? "
Something familiar about that voice.
There were strains of anxiety in that voice. For Max. His Max.
He took a breath. He had to take the risk.
" Do you know where 332960073452 is located?"
Silence. Then.
"What do you know about Max? Is she okay? Who are you?"
This man had too many questions and no answers.
This was Logan Cale.
Zack put the phone on the hook.
Guess he was paying a visit to 'Penthouse, Foggle Towers.'
Maybe just ask this Logan nicely what the hell he did to me.
Zack stepped out of the phone box. Pedestrians rushed past them. All so careless. So unaware that Zack was one step closer to finding some answers to his past.
He walked towards his truck, mind occupied with thoughts of what he was going to do or say to this Logan character. The person who'd stolen his identity.
Did he really want to find out who . or what he was?
Images of death and killing flooded his mind. Throwing his force into someone's chest to fracture ribs. Putting pressure at the spinal cord until a snap rung out - the vertebrae breaking. Blood, lots of blood, splashing onto his face, making his fingers slippery and covering his eyes. All he could see was red.
A voice.
They were designed to kill.
He was scared of what he would find from this Logan.
He didn't know where to look for some kind of comfort. For definition. So he just stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked to the sky. He didn't know what he was expecting to see. A rainbow? An angel flying across the sky, wings ready to surround him?
Suddenly in front of him, an image emerged, large and domineering, obscuring his view. It was a monstrosity as it reared towards him, black eyes ablaze. It was a crow.
It made him shiver.
Was he hallucinating? But even as he blinked, it was still there, obscuring his vision, getting closer until he could see nothing except the black pupils staring straight into his soul.
And out of the black. appeared a girl.
A girl with long dark hair and shiny dark eyes.
She was staring ahead straight at him. But she didn't seem to see him at all.
She walked straight into him without lifting her eyes to his face.
"Sorry." Quick smile.
He waited for a spark of recognition in her eyes. Nothing.
Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe it wasn't her.
She was walking away.
No. Luck had nothing to do with it.
____________________________________________________________________
There was a click.
"Dammit!"
Logan stared at the phone he was holding in his hand, frowning. The monotone dial tone rang in his ears.
Who was that?
Someone who knew Max. Someone who knew Manticore.
He started dialing a number. He had to check she was okay.
He hoped she had her pager on.
"Punk ass here. Leave a message."
Max's familiar sarcastic tone greeted his ears.
He lifted the phone to his ear.
"Max? Are you okay? Just wanted to give you a heads up." He said, staring at the blue sky outside the window. Another day. Another enemy. He was used to it.
"Just got a phone call. There's a new X-5 in town."
__________________________________________________________________
*
You're going down, I'll break you down
I'll break you down, I'll take you down.
*
__________________________________________________________________
That face. That smile.
It seemed so familiar.
As she started walking away from him, he started to follow.
I know her. She's- she's.
Now he was right behind her. That determined stride. That proud posture. It had to be.
It was.
He reached out to grab her sleeve. She turned around sharply, hair surrounding her face to form a dark halo, arm swinging around so that she caught his arm. On the defensive. Ready for attack.
She hasn't changed.
"Brin."
Her dark eyes scrutinized him.
Her lips curled into a smile.
"Hello, brother."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well? What do you think?
I've got a few interesting places where this could go.
