SUNSHINE IF ETERNAL; JAMES

SUNSHINE IF ETERNAL; 4; Moony

By Gin :)

OK, here's part 4. Please r/r and tell me what you think! Cuz I love reviews! :) This fic begins on the day they are going to catch the train to Hogwarts.

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Beep beep.

Beep beep.

Beep beep.

Beep b-

My alarm clock woke me up, beeping loudly, at 8am, on the first morning of the school term. September the 5th. I reached over, and searched for the clock with my hand, and accidentally knocked it off the bedside cabinet in the process. I hoped it hadn't broken as I tumbled out of bed to retrieve it from the floor. Luckily, when I replaced the batteries, it assured me that it had not broken, by beeping ever louder. Such is the wonder of modern technology! Or not...!

I'm a half blood. My mother's a witch, my dad's a muggle. So, in my house, there's sometimes something of a culture clash. Magical meets Muggle, you could say. I began to get dressed, pulling on my baggy old jeans and untidy T shirt.

Half blood isn't the only thing I am. That is, I mean, besides me being a withdrawn eleven year old with no friends; I still only half count James and Sirius, as I won't know if they're my friends, really, truly, until they find out this other thing about me. My secret.

I am a werewolf.

And I can't tell you how I hate to admit it. At least I accept who- and what- I am, though. I'm a freak. A freak of nature. And, once every full moon, a fully fledged monster. I don't think I could bring myself ever to tell anyone this out loud, though. I shan't tell James or Sirius if I can help it. Maybe they'll be my friends, and if they never find out, they'll... they'll stay my friends. Right? If they do find out... well. It'll be back to having no friends at all, I expect.

I used to be like them, when I was younger, but when I got bitten, everything in my life changed. Happy, careless, charismatic, friendly... everything I was so suddenly not.

You see, there's been a legend about a werewolf in the forest near where I used to live- we had to move away after the 'accident'- for as long as I can remember. We were told never, ever to go into the forest, especially not at night, and most certainly not at full moon. Of course, me and three of my friends, Adam, Yoseif and Gemini, being the up- for- a -dare 10 year olds that we were, had to go and see if the legend was true. In fact, as I recall, it was my idea. Going just any night would have been pointless for us, and going in the day was unthinkable. No. We just had to go at full moon. Yes, it was stupid, but it's too late to change all that now. Anyway, you don't need to know the rest, but suffice it to say that the said 'legend' was very real. The werewolf killed my friend Adam- I saw him die; it's another thing I can't possibly blot out from my mind- and proceeded onto me. Gemini and Yoseif ran.

The next thing I remember is waking up, being told that Adam was definitely dead- until then I'd hoped he was alive- and that I was 'safe'. 'Safe', you see, meant that, although I was not dead or indeed so very badly injured, I would have to spend the rest of my life being different from everyone else. Sometimes, I wish I had gone the same way as Adam. Especially as it was my fault. It was all my idea.

And Yoseif stopped talking to me after that. Gemini... well, she was always a bit odd. I'm not quite sure weather she wanted to stay friends, or was just bullied into ignoring me by Yosief. That's not the point, though. The point is, I barely spoke to eitehr of them ever again. They were my last friends for a year.

I made my way downstairs and helped myself to breakfast. Mum was making porridge on the Aga, and Petrova was munching on a croissant.

Mum smiled at me, hazily. I know that all of a year after I received the bite, she still hates to look at me, and the ways I have changed. She's been supportive, but it's worn her down. If I could go back in time, to when all this started, I would, if only to see my mother completely happy again. My father left, about 6 months after my 'accident'. I know that he was ashamed. Ashamed of me . Being married to a witch was one thing; having a son for a werewolf, quite another.

"Sleep well?" mum asked me.

"Yes, thank you."

"Remus," my little sister, Petrova, spoke up "when you go to Hogwarts, will you get me some sweets from that village near it? I like chocolate frogs, butterball nouget, melting cupcakes, jelly zooms, musical liquorice-"

"I don't think we'll be allowed in the village, Pet," I pointed out.

"Aw... not fair! Get me some sweeties anyway!"

"'We'?" my mum enquired, looking interested. She thinks I should make more friends. She's right- I should. I suppose.

"The other Hogwarts students," I explained, "and possibly, some other boys I met down Diagon Ally."

"Oh, how nice," she smiled "I do hope you make friends quickly, my darling."

"Oh..." I didn't think I would, but you don't admit that to people like my mum. She's not exactly the happiest person ever. I didn't want her to worry any more then she had to, "I think I will. Sirius and James seem OK."

"Well, do try and socialise a bit more. I'm sure they'll be great friends."

We were spinning each other along. Both of us knew that the likelihood of me staying friends with anyone for any length of time was minimal. It had been for the last year. A year without friends is a long time, and believe me, I'd know.

Eventually, we finished breakfast, and I hulked my large trunk into the back of the car, and mum drove me to the station, Petrova singing loud songs all the way, because she was bored. Luckily, the traffic wasn't too bad, and we reached the station at about 15 minutes to 11 o' clock.

Mum helped me pull my stuff out of the car's boot, and I hugged both her and Petrova. Then I walked away, glancing back occasionally, to where I could see them getting into the car and driving off, and eventually, they faded from my line of sight.

Ah. One snag arose. What station did the Hogwarts Express leave from? Partform 9 3/4. But where was that? I couldn't see it anywhere, and I hadn't asked mum how to get there! What could I do? I didn't have the nerve to ask the station porter, or the man at the ticket booth, and besides, they wouldn't know, being Muggles.

"You alright, Moony?"

"Eh?" I spun round quickly, and behind me was James, Sirius, and two older teenagers, a boy and a girl, who I could only presume were some relation to James or Sirius.

"I said, are you alright, Moony?" James repeated himself.

"Yes... I mean no... I mean, er... how do I get onto the platform?"

They laughed at my indecisiveness.

"Oh, it's quite simple," the oldest boy, who looked like he was in his last year at Hogwarts or so, explained, "You see, there's a barrier between platform 9 and platfom 10?" he indicated the spot.

"Yes, but I can't see a platform 9 3/4."

"Of course you can't," the boy rolled his eyes impatiently "I never said you could."

"Sorry, I-"

"Hey, don't fret 'bout it. You kinda run towards the barrier, and then-"

"and then, bang, hello platform 9 and 3/4s!" The girl finished for him.

"Oh. Thank you very much."

"No probs. Sirius, I suppose I'd better get going. It's weird, this year I don't go to Hogwarts any more... you don't know how odd it feels!"

"Huh, lucky you, Tzeitele," the oldest boy complained "I've still got another year left."

"You lot are making me feel so happy about going," Sirius said "listening to you just fills me with optimism. You make it sound like a prison camp or something. OK, see you sis." Ah, so that's who she was. Sirius' sister. They looked alike, but then, all four of them had done.

"Bye, Tzeitele," James and the older boy waved her off as she left.

"Have a good few days of holiday, Moony?" James asked me.

"Yes, I suppose so." Although I wouldn't exactly have described them as being a bundle of laughs.

"Cool."

"Are you guys coming onto the station or not?" the boy I didn't know butted in "or can I go and find someone more interesting to talk to?"

"We're coming, and then you can find someone more interesting to talk to," Sirius said matter- of- factly, "although there's no one on earth as interesting as me!"

"Of course not," the boy put on an allowing tone of voice "keep taking the tablets."

"I will!"

"I wouldn't if I was you," James frowned "I'd stop taking them."

"Yeah, you would."

We crossed the station to the barrier.

"Who'll go first?" James wondered out loud.

"Not me," I said quickly. The barrier looked horribly solid.

"Oh, I'll go," the older boy grabbed the trolley containing his, James's and Sirius's luggage, "since you lot are obviously incapable." He walked swiftly towards the barrier, and just as I knew he was going to crash- was gone.

"Me next, then," James squared his shoulders, and ran towards the barriers. I saw his face squint as he was about to bash into it, and then, he too, was gone.

"You next or me?" Sirius asked.

"Don't mind."

"You then, hah," Sirius grinned.

"Alright." I backed a bit, to do the run towards the barrier, and set off. I tripped at the last moment, and... fell though the barrier!

On the other side was James Potter, laughing as he helped me up "You alright? Good. Is Sirius actually coming sometime today?"

"He's just coming."

"Still getting up his courage, probably. What an idiot."

"Who was that other boy that was with you earlier?"

"That was Joe. My brother. He's in his last year at Hogwarts."

"Oh."

At that moment Sirius decided to make his entrance, looking pleased with himself.

"And hello, loyal fans!" he greeted us "aren't you so happy I'm here!?"

"Ecstatic," James said sarcastically "C'mon, let's get our stuff and get onto the train. It leaves in about 3 minutes, you know."

"Oh, alright..."

James's brother Joe had left their school trunks on the trolley near by, so both Sirius and James grabbed their stuff. We hulked our luggage though the train doors, and found a relatively empty compartment, which contained several other students; no one I knew offhand, obviously. Although I had to admit, I was almost sure I reconised a girl sitting alone in the corner of the carrage, who looked decidedly lost. Mind you, I most probably hadn't seen her before. She was small and slight, with hair that looked as though it had set out to be curly, but had lost interest about half way through. Her face was round, and she was staring vacently out of the window. Odd.

We sat down, and talked amongst ourselves until the train left the station.

I felt nervous and excited. I knew nothing of Hogwarts, except for what my mum told me, and as she went there years ago, it must have changed since then!

Sirius was looking forwards to it, because he thought it would be a good opportunity to annoy everyone senseless with practical jokes, midnight feasts and scaring all the girls by sneaking into the dormitory pretending to be a ghost or a burglar, or something.

James was looking forwards to it, because it'd 'be a laugh' and, as Sirius's partner in crime, pretty much the same reasons as his friend.

I was looking forwards to going to Hogwarts, because... well. Was I? I didn't even know myself. I was frightened in one respect, and hopeful in another. This new school just might mean a New Start for me. Or it might mean that my life became even worse. Ohhh, why do I have to be such a pessimist?!?

We were just discussing what Houses we would like to be in- I didn't have a clue- when a voice ran through the carrage, making us all look up with supprise.

"Well, well, well," it was a dark boy with evil little eyes, hair that was longer and greasier then was surely good for him, and who was accomponied by three other boys, one of who'm [grammer!] was about 6 foot talland built like a brick wall on legs, the other was small and rat- faced, and rather plump, and the last one was also very tall, but fair, and with a terribly obnoxous auror about him.

"Fancy seeing you two here," the first boy swaggered forewards, his pale eyes staring smoothly out of his face.

"Hello, Snape," James gave him a look, which stated more clearly then words; 'Oh, it's You. Hello, You. Now go away.'

"Oh, is that who it is?" Sirius glanced up, "What do you want. Why don't you go and nick some sweets off a baby or something? It's your usual kind of thing."

"Or pick some other innocent victim." James put in. I didn't say anything. This 'Snape' person didn't strike me as the kind of person I'd want to attract attention from.

"Really, you two are just as childish as you were two years ago," Snape looked mildly bored.

"Well, you'd still bore the leggings off a village idiot, jus the same as then, so we're equil," Sirius replied.

At this point, the rat- faced boy spoke up, "I think we're wasting our time on these, Snape."

"Really, Pettigrew, do you think that I would waste my time on these if I didn't have something to settle?"

"Well, I really wouldn't-"

"Be quiet."

"Right. Yes. OK. Easily done. Right awa-"

"Just shut up and never say anything again as long as you live."

"OK." Pettigrew paused for a long second, while Sirius and James grinned at each other, and then he started talking again "But, really, I don't think that we should bother with them, I mean, don't you think that-"

"Pettigrew, tell me, were you born without a brain?"

Pettigrew shrugged vaguely.

"Goodness Snape," Sirius began again, "Your gang has really gone downhill recently. Did the others finally see the light?"

"I don't think much of your new friend either, Black," Snape began. He obviously meant me "Did he fall off a rubbish tip?" when I didn't reply, but looked out of the window, he continued "Does he have a voice?"

"Yes, but I suppose he just dosn't see why he should waste it on the likes of you." James matched his insult for me. I didn't like my friends having to do my arguments for me, so I spoke up.

"You're just wasting everyone's time. Drop dead."

"Drop dead?" he echo'd my words, mockingly, "I'm sure I could tell you a spell that could do just that to someone. Do you think I should practice it on you?"

"I don't think that'd be a good idea," I didn't like the way this was going at all. He was obviously just trying to scare me, and it was working, up to a certain extent, at least "We'd both get in trouble."

I definately got a few odd looks for that. I don't know why I said something that pathetic, but then, I'm no good at insults. Just to answer back was unusual for me.

"Um, Snape, don't you think we should-"

"Pettigrew, for goodness sake, hold your tongue!"

You had to feel sorry for him. He obviously didn't fit into Snape's gang. The other two were quiet, and just stood there, looking a mixture of threatening and stupid.

"And if it's any consolation, whateveryournameis,"- me- "I couldn't care less weather I got in trouble or not already. But at least I don't look like I'm wearing my dad's old clothes."

I opened my mouth to answer back, but I was suprrrised when the girl in the corner, who I thought I reconised, spoke up.

"Why don't you leave him alone?!"

Snape and his friends turned to her, looking unimpressed.

"He's not done anything to you!" she continued, "so let him be!"

"Who are you?" Snape loked at her with distaste, and I looked at her with little short of amazement. N one ever stood up for me, and I wasn't even sure that I knew this girl. Maybe I did. I knew I'd seen her face somewhere, but still..!

"It's none of your buissness who I am! Go away, loser!"

"Make me..." Snapes silent friends moved forewards threateningly, evil looks on their faces. Pettigrew, I noticed, kept well behind them, blinking nervously.

"Er," she hesitated, and bit her lip. There was no chance of fighting the two boys "I, er, hah... No. I've thought about it, and I think that staying away would really be the best policy. Um."

Snape laughed, but then appeared to grow bored "I think I'm beginning to see Pettigrew's point. You really aren't worth wasting my breath over. Good bye and good riddence."

He swept away, followed by the other three. Pettigrew threw an appologetic kind of look over to us. The girl blinked a bit, and then went back to staring out of the window next to her.

"Hey, what's you name, girl?" Sirius leaned across towards her.

"Me? I'm Gem. Well, so they call me. Look, sorry if you would rather I kept out of your quarrels, I just thought-"

"Hey, no problems," James shook off her appology.

"Yeah, thanks," I added. She gave me a long look, which made me feel uneasy.

"I could have sworn I knew you, you see," she frowned "but I'm probably kidding myself. What's your name?"

"Remus Lupin." I answered.

"You're not!" she looked at me still more accusingly, "You're never him!"

"I am!" I definded myself. I have always been Remus Lupin, as far as I can remember!

"I could have sworn you're not... you're so... different !"

"You probably are kindding yourself, " I answered "I don't know anyone called Gem."

"Hows about Gemini Fairfax? Ring any bells?"

I blinked at her. Now she came to mention it, I certainly remember the name. Gemini. Yoseif. Adam. My old friends. Who'd have thought I'd ever see them again?!

"Gemini?! Really?"

"Yups!" She leant back in her seat, and gave me the half- smile I always seem to remember her for, "You haven't half changed! Remus Lupin. Blimey!"

James and Sirius were watching this, looking ammused.

"Whose the girlfriend, Moony?" James grinned like a maniac.

"Girlfriend is hardly the word I'd use," I shrugged "But she's called Gemini Fairfax and I used to know her. At least a year ago."

"Hey, Gemini Fairfax, I'm James Potter and he's Sirius Black. We're here on holiday, to escape from the bedlam we call 'home'. How about you?"

Gem laughed.

"Gemini Fairfax, eh?" Sirius said aloud "we should call you Fairy!"

"Do that and die, creep."

"Oh, the nice, warm, traditional Hogwarts greeting! Don'tcha just love it?!"

Gem gave a kind of mock- offended look, and laughed.

It was at that moment that pettigrew decided to re- enter the room. It was probably the most sensible thing he'd done all day.

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The end! Please r/r! The next part should be narrated by Peter or Gemini. After that, probably it'll be either Banbury, Lily, or another new charactors... the Anadromdea I mentioned before, but I'm not sure if she's going to even be in this series at all... I have to figure it all out... I'm gonna try and get my old L/J series done by January! I should have finnished it before I started this... agh!

Ginny :)