Disclaimer: I really don't own any of the characters or anything, so...
yeah don't sue!
Journal
That seems rather odd, a congratulation like that from you, Zelgadiss; or has more changed than I thought? Then again, it really doesn't matter does it? You know, you were right when you said I'd be smirking when I read that last entry of yours, heh, I just can't stop grinning.
I visited a nearby stream to bathe before coming back and making camp, that way I could write without dripping blood on the parchment. And I feel so light. It's great, I feel so free: enough to be laughing loud and long. I don't know what you or our Chimera went through but it certainly has brought out sides to you I haven't seen before, but I think I like them. Like I enjoy the way Zelgadiss just smirked knowingly and even enjoy your little teasings. It feels like it was supposed to be this way. Ah, a preview of twilight years perhaps?
I think I'd enjoy that, staying in contact with you two that is. Maybe I do and maybe I don't need Cephied or any other master for that matter. Right now, I really couldn't care less, and in that is where I see the escape that Zel spoke of. You found it a long time ago, didn't you Okugi? I'm close to the answer, I can feel it. And more of that poem our chimera wrote is becoming clear to me.
That first stanza "Silent but loud, bursting with unheard sound./ Crusing yet happy, clawing at a self-imposed prison./ Light and darkness that co-exist within one./ Tumbling painlessly towards the bottom." I think I have made sense of it. That first line, refers to the sound of creation, ne? I paid more attention to Volphied and Durigdigdo than you thought, huh? I'm laughing now, and it's because of how easy that was. You know that's exactly what they sounded like? Hilarious! Cursing yet happy... that one refers to the ryuzoku and mazoku of the world. Am I wrong? I doubt it, Okugi, truely I do. We are all stuck in this eternal cycle of fate and free will and yet even I am carefree while still trying to find a way out of it all. I envy the humans, and that's what the next line is about, correct? Zelgadiss, to think the human part of you knows that above all else... Light and darkness within one being, one race. And all of it falling to the bottom. The bottom of what? Our cage, our prison? Or simply to an end?
Look at that, I'm smiling again: I know what the escape was from. For a moment I left it all behind, I had no master, no lord, no earth, no body, no astral form. That's the solace you mazoku seek the solace you find the more you destroy; the harder or longer the kill. Now I understand your change, Zelgadiss, you finally let yourself experience that without regret. You're different from the other humans in that way. Humans experience this in death because they don't come back; they go on to Cephieds abode, Shabrinigdo's home and/or if they are lucky enough, on to the Sea of Chaos that is L-Sama. But eventually they all get away from the cycle, but our dear chimera, you let yourself get caught inside it with us. I wonder if this feeling is also what draws and keeps people in service to Cephied.
I don't know, and I doubt now if I will ever search for the answer. So this is the journey that the Lord of Nightmares had originally planned for me? Such are the wills of her creations to stop or forestall her wishes. I guess we'll never learn. Was that the point of my journey? To learn that? No, it can't be, can it? After all we haven't reached our destination, you'll wait for us, Okugi? Perhaps you'd like to explain what the demon within Zelgadiss sought to say in the second paragraph.... Or will you send more 'helpers' to make me discover the meaning for myself?
First though, I think I'll stop writing and place this book a little ways away from camp, and relax into that wonderful massage Zel's giving me.
(A very content)
-Valgaav
Journal
That seems rather odd, a congratulation like that from you, Zelgadiss; or has more changed than I thought? Then again, it really doesn't matter does it? You know, you were right when you said I'd be smirking when I read that last entry of yours, heh, I just can't stop grinning.
I visited a nearby stream to bathe before coming back and making camp, that way I could write without dripping blood on the parchment. And I feel so light. It's great, I feel so free: enough to be laughing loud and long. I don't know what you or our Chimera went through but it certainly has brought out sides to you I haven't seen before, but I think I like them. Like I enjoy the way Zelgadiss just smirked knowingly and even enjoy your little teasings. It feels like it was supposed to be this way. Ah, a preview of twilight years perhaps?
I think I'd enjoy that, staying in contact with you two that is. Maybe I do and maybe I don't need Cephied or any other master for that matter. Right now, I really couldn't care less, and in that is where I see the escape that Zel spoke of. You found it a long time ago, didn't you Okugi? I'm close to the answer, I can feel it. And more of that poem our chimera wrote is becoming clear to me.
That first stanza "Silent but loud, bursting with unheard sound./ Crusing yet happy, clawing at a self-imposed prison./ Light and darkness that co-exist within one./ Tumbling painlessly towards the bottom." I think I have made sense of it. That first line, refers to the sound of creation, ne? I paid more attention to Volphied and Durigdigdo than you thought, huh? I'm laughing now, and it's because of how easy that was. You know that's exactly what they sounded like? Hilarious! Cursing yet happy... that one refers to the ryuzoku and mazoku of the world. Am I wrong? I doubt it, Okugi, truely I do. We are all stuck in this eternal cycle of fate and free will and yet even I am carefree while still trying to find a way out of it all. I envy the humans, and that's what the next line is about, correct? Zelgadiss, to think the human part of you knows that above all else... Light and darkness within one being, one race. And all of it falling to the bottom. The bottom of what? Our cage, our prison? Or simply to an end?
Look at that, I'm smiling again: I know what the escape was from. For a moment I left it all behind, I had no master, no lord, no earth, no body, no astral form. That's the solace you mazoku seek the solace you find the more you destroy; the harder or longer the kill. Now I understand your change, Zelgadiss, you finally let yourself experience that without regret. You're different from the other humans in that way. Humans experience this in death because they don't come back; they go on to Cephieds abode, Shabrinigdo's home and/or if they are lucky enough, on to the Sea of Chaos that is L-Sama. But eventually they all get away from the cycle, but our dear chimera, you let yourself get caught inside it with us. I wonder if this feeling is also what draws and keeps people in service to Cephied.
I don't know, and I doubt now if I will ever search for the answer. So this is the journey that the Lord of Nightmares had originally planned for me? Such are the wills of her creations to stop or forestall her wishes. I guess we'll never learn. Was that the point of my journey? To learn that? No, it can't be, can it? After all we haven't reached our destination, you'll wait for us, Okugi? Perhaps you'd like to explain what the demon within Zelgadiss sought to say in the second paragraph.... Or will you send more 'helpers' to make me discover the meaning for myself?
First though, I think I'll stop writing and place this book a little ways away from camp, and relax into that wonderful massage Zel's giving me.
(A very content)
-Valgaav
