A/N: Whew! Sorry it took so long to get the second part up here, I really didn't think I'd be so lazy about it. @_x

So yeah. Part Two, the final part, blah blah blah...it was kinda hard to end this, especially since getting into DD's character is a lil difficult...but yeah. ^-^ Read, enjoy, and please tell me what you think. -_-;;

Ja!

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Dreamscape (In Two Movements)

By Cat Lady Murmur

Movement Two: "Epiphany"

"Remus?"

"Are you awake?"

…ugh…darkness…painful, achy darkness at that. Where am I?

A gentle touch on my arm urges me back to full consciousness, but I refuse to open my eyes. I have a splitting headache, and it feels as if opening my eyes will let the pain run rampant throughout the rest of me. No, better to keep it contained…

"Where am I?" I hear myself say. I hate my voice…

"Madame Pomfrey's office, Remus. The medical wing."

"My…head hurts."

"As well it should. A lot apparently happened last night."

"Last night?" How long have I been out? I struggle to remember last night's events, but everything is hazy, out of order. It feels like a hangover. "What happened?"

"You're very lucky, you know," says my visitor in a soothing voice. "If Severus hadn't come up to see you--"

Severus. Last night. Snow…crimson…cold…last night!

"Oh!" I cry out suddenly as I remember. "Oh…oh God…that…"

I attempt to sit up straight, but can only get there halfway before the pain in my head catches up with me, and I slump against the headboard of my bed instead. Severus. I rest my head against my hands in weary defeat. I'd hardly consider myself lucky. Last night should have been the end, and it would have been if he…

"I thought he hated me," I observe softly, and look slightly to my right. Dumbledore is sitting there at my bedside, smiling a gentle, fatherly smile, with a hint of concern in his old, compassionate face.

"I know the two of you have had your differences," he says, "but even Severus would not let you die like that. There are times when we must look past the things that separate us in order to do what is right. It is our moral duty."

We're silent for a moment as I let his words sink in, and he observes me in quiet patience. Any moment now he's going to ask me "Why?"…he'll give me such a disappointed look, tell me he thought I was smarter than that…

"Here."

He offers me a mug. I can pick up the sweet aroma of chocolate carried upon the wisps of steam rising from the lips, and for some reason this very simple thing instills a twinge of relief somewhere deep inside. But I can't will myself to accept it from him, and am left instead to stare wistfully at the mug. Dumbledore smiles again and eases the cup into my unsteady hands. I chuckle weakly.

"This is your answer to everything, isn't it."

"It's one solution," he says as he takes a sip from his own mug.

"Not always," I murmur.

A peculiar look comes across the headmaster's face for a brief moment, and he sets his mug in his lap. "Remus…I understand what a heavy burden you must be carrying. Life has never really been very kind to you, has it?"

"It has," I say softly. "But only to establish how cruel it can really be…"

He nods thoughtfully. "You've lost a great deal…but, my dear boy, you must understand that everything has a reason, and that one cannot be held under for too long. Perhaps, instead of being so hard on you so as to prove just how terrible life can be, this is the prelude to a joy that needs such a contrast to be properly conveyed? Always remember, you're never given more than you can handle."

"If that's true, then I've certainly failed at it…"

"Someone will always be there to catch you when you stumble. Severus would like to talk to you," he says before I can argue.

Most likely to rub my nose in this, I think bemusedly as Dumbledore leaves the room. A moment later Severus enters, a somewhat intimidating figure with his tall stature and sweeping black robes. I look away from him as he sits where Dumbledore had been moments before, and I wait for him to speak first. From the corner of my eye, I can see he's thinking very deeply about something as he stares intently at his clasped hands upon his knees.

Just say it, I urge him silently. Say what you're thinking, tell me I should've died but now I owe you my life, JUST SAY IT!

"I will not hold this over your head," he mutters, his voice a velvet purr that must come naturally to someone like him. "Contrary to what you may believe, I would take no pleasure in your death, nor any debt from preventing it."

This revelation of his personality leaves me speechless for a moment. "I didn't want to be saved," I say.

"I know that!" he snaps. "I did not do this expecting your thanks, or for you to be even the slightest bit grateful. However, I would hope you'd see just how foolish and misguided your decision was--"

"Don't think you can give me a life lesson," I snarl suddenly. "You have no idea what you're talking about! You think you know how hard it is to be what I am in a world that hates me? Do you understand how difficult it is to live without any reassurance that yes, I am needed? Of course not! You have no idea!"

A hot surge of guilt washes over me as I fail to restrain myself. Why did I say that? Why am I so ready for a fight?

"Selfish werewolf!" Severus growls as he rises quickly from his seat, and I can see I've clearly set him off. "Why do you think you are the only one to ever experience loss and shame?! You are not so special that you life deserved salvation, or that your tragic pleas deserved attention! Your friends gave their lives so that you would still have your own and this is how you repay them?! Your reasoning has become flawed, Lupin. Such a pity, I would have thought that was one trait you'd at least try to retain!"

I'm drowning in the shock and guilt his words have buried me in, and as he turns to leave I try to say something more…

Apologize to him! Don't let him think you're an ungrateful--

"And Lupin," Severus says from the doorway, his eyes positively glittering with anger, "next time you choose to lay down and die, please be a little more considerate when it comes to who must clean up your mess. After all Dumbledore has done for you, the least you could do is spare him such a task."

And with that final twist of the knife, he leaves the ward, slamming the door behind him. Unable to make much sense of what just happened, I look down at the mug that is still in my hands. I'm trembling more than ever, so I set the beverage down on the bedside table and clasp my hands firmly in my lap, but to no avail. I can't stop the shaking as Severus's words come back to me.

"Why do you think you are the only one to ever experience loss and shame?!"

"But…it's more than that," I whisper tremulously. "It's so much larger than that…isn't it?" It has to be! He…he can't just reduce everything to one sentence, there's more to it than that!

Right…?!

…right…?

Something warm slips down my face and falls to my clenched and shaking hands, onto the ghost whispers of scars upon my wrists from which crimson once flowed. A color that once symbolized bravery in my life, but now stands for cowardice. I'm a broken man, denied the one thing that could have made everything so much easier. Now I'm left at a dead end, without any options close at hand. What do I do now? Where do I go from here?

Is this all just a never-ending cycle?

Too many questions, not enough answers…

Somebody…please help me…

"Self-reliance is a virtue," Dumbledore says as he comes back to my bedside. "However, used in excess it becomes a flaw…"

"I don't know what to do," I whisper through tears. "I don't know what to think anymore…"

Dumbledore rests a comforting hand on my shoulder and says, "All you need to do is ask. Help is always available to you when you need it."

"I already owe you so much…how can I ever repay you as it is?"

He's silent for a few moments, but then: "You are a strong-willed young man, Remus. If you had been meant to leave us, then you would have been with James and Lily that night. But that was not your fate. Their son, Harry, needs someone now to help him remember his parents, to help him understand his place and role in the salvation of so many others, and to be able to live his own life with those very roots. In a few years, he'll need the guidance more than ever. Return to me then, Remus. You'll see, things will work out."

Harry…Dumbledore's words have never failed me, and even now, in the midst of my own self-pity, I know what he says is true.

Once more, the hot chocolate is offered to me and this time I take it on my own. Dumbledore is smiling at me again and raises his mug. "A toast then, to a new life," he says cheerfully.

And now I smile, a weak one, yes, but one that can actually reach my eyes. 3 years sounds like such a long time…but then again, it'll be a test of my endurance now that I know I'm not alone. I will take this challenge, and I will succeed.

I raise my mug to his. "Cheers," I say, and we drink to it.