WWF Goes To…The North Pole
Disclaimer: I do not own/know any of these characters in this story. It is made for enjoyment purposes only and it is completely fictional. I don't mean to cause offence to anyone and I am sorry if I do. Please do not sue me, as I have nothing you can possibly want! Please R & R! P.s Laura is a character from my other story…'Don't Touch What Isn't Yours'! _________________
Chapter 2: Checking In
Somewhere in the middle of The North Pole…
Kurt: Santa…Santa…brum, brum…Santa! Woo!
Jeff: Chugga chugga chugga! Brum, brum!
Matt: You know what…unless you all shut your candy ass's-
Rock: Hey, listen here you little jabronis. Unless you stop ripping of The Rocks lines then he will kick all of your CANDY ass's! Eh?
Austin: What? WHAT? You know what my watch is saying?
Matt: No but I guess we are going to find out!
Jeff: Oooh, I know…time to see Santa?
Austin: No…its saying that-
Lita: Austin! Unless you leave Matt…I didn't say that, hey! Are you talking to me? Are you talking to ME?
Trish: Lita are you okay? I told you that having too many of those pills would be bad for you!
Lita: Oh Debra, leave me alone.
Trish: What did that little red head freak just call me…
Rock: Eh?
Trish: That is it, both of you let me give you a…little Stratusfaction!
Jeff: YAY…GO TRISHY…GO TRISHY!
Trish: Rock…you know what I am going to do, I am doing to take my fist, shine it up real nice-
Perry: Pony's drink lemonade to stop tem from fizzing…Nay! Your welcome! Don't tell me who I am, I hast thou time of hast thou life thou inconsiderate sibling!
Matt: Huh?
Steph: Hey guys when I say to you don't leave me with Jericho; it doesn't mean leave me with him…
Y2J: She loved it really…and you know what, nothing will ever, EVER be the same again!
Lita: Oooh what is going on there then you saucy little raunchy munch pots!
Matt: I am so glad the two of us are over!
Lita: Never ever will be and you be over honey bunny, we will be together forever!
Jeff: Aww…that is the sweetest thing anyone has said to me! PUCKER UP!
Lita: (Running around screaming) AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Matt: Why God, why?
Trish: What, why am I so sexy? Oh I have no idea…
RVD: Its because I am R.V.D!
H.H: Citizen Matt, are you feeling a little distressed?
Matt: No! Why on Earth would I be?
H.H: Don't play games with me, my hurri-sense is telling me that you ARE feeling distressed!
Matt: Hurricane…a blind monkey with his pants pulled over his head a million miles away from here could see that I am feeling a tinsy winsy little bit distressed!
H.H: But citizen Matt why would a blind monkey have pants on his head?
Jeff: Because monkeys wear pants! Mwahaha!
Perry: Monkeys eat applesauce to save the ozone layer, you're welcome!
Steph: Guys does one of my boobs look bigger than the other?
Y2J: Well it DOESNT MATTER-
Steph: That is it; I don't want your opinion! It's time to see the real Steph Mr. Love yourself pretty boy!
Y2J: Huh?
Steph: (Ripping off clothes to reveal fluffy bra and boxer shorts, covered in princess and sexy writing, all of this being accompanied by a magic wand, fluffy boots and a fluffy crown) Time to Meet Stephanie McMahon-
Trish: Fluff?
Steph: Yes, Stephanie McMahon Fluff! Wow, you're so clever and pretty and wonderful-
Trish: Stop being scary, I already had to call the police about your love letters and I had to get an electric fence to stop you from delivering presents to my door.
Y2J: Oooh, girls don't fight this phase. This is a good phase your going through, can I join in?
Steph: No…(Charging towards Jericho) Aalalalalalallalalaal take this you little muppet bunny!
Y2J: Aaaaahhhhhh, I am being chased by a fluffy freak!
???: (Some scary guest appearing out of nowhere) Oooh alliteration well done!!! (Then disappearing!)
Matt: Well if that wasn't the scariest thing ever!
Jeff: Oooh look, we are finally here! It's the Santa hotel!
Matt: Jeff…it's an igloo.
Jeff: Nuhuh, it says there, the Santa hotel.
Matt: PLEASE tell me this isn't where we are staying?
Jeff: Yea!
Kurt: Woo!
Trish: But…but it's freezing!
Rock: Eh…eh…The Rock is always here to be-
Trish: Please…
Rock: EH!
Matt: SHUT UP! WE ARE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NORTH POLE AND WE ARE ABOUT TO GO INTO AN IGLOO!
* * *
Later on, inside the igloo…
Laura: ^The crazy receptionist!^ Hello this is the sexy, slaying, strange, surroundings of the Santa saloon! Mwahaha, phizzums, BOO…Lalalala! I am here to serve! Ooh Matt!
Lita: Back off…he is mine! Wait…I din't say that!
Matt: Hey beautiful, how'd you know my name?
Laura: Argh, I wonder that many a times while walking along the lonely mores!
Matt: …right?
Laura: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I just realised…realised something, something…WAAAA! Pluuuuu!
Trish: Who is this nutty-
Laura: My name is HUMBUG! I am here to serve the jacks of the east and the marks of the west, I work between 00 – 12!
Matt: Wow, when do you sleep?
Laura: Me no do no sleepa!
Jeff: Hey she sounds like me! How u doin?
Laura: Oooh, funny clown! Come here SEXY! Lets put this 99% action together1
Jeff: Wha?
Laura: U EARD!
Matt: CAN WE PLEASE JUST CHECK IN?
Trish: Thanks Matt!
Kurt: (Bursting into tears) My milky froze up!
Laura: (Rubbing all Kurt's fingers, one at a time)…..orgasm!
Matt: Right?
Jeff: Hey do me!
Kurt: Woo! I like it…where is me milk though?
Laura: I will just make you some! (Whipping out a bowl) Now, all I need is a hair from a poodle, a rock from the UK and a smelly sock!
Kurt: YOUR NUTS!
Laura: Arrrr….not until the tests come back!
Lita: I din't say that!
Matt: Lita…we have gathered that okay? You don't have to say that!
Lita: Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught!
Trish: What in the blue hell (Screaming) I…AM…TURNING…INTO…THE ROCK! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! SAVE ME!
Laura: Oh okay! Come here pretty!
Trish: What?
Jeff: It's pronounced pyroxene!
Matt: What?
Perry: Tigers without spots swim through the sky looking for pretty stars to make them look ever bigger!
Laura: Yes I know me lassy, it is okay!
Steph: I am scared and when the billion dollar princess is scared I-
Laura: Stephanie you may not marry me!
Steph: What?
Jeff: Wha?
Matt: What?
Jeff: Wha?
Laura: YES!
Steph: I don't want to marry you!
Laura: Don't deny our love!
Perry: You go forge for berries while I prepare a coconut sluphae!
Rock: What in the blue-
Laura: hell are you talking about?
Kurt: Woo!
Lita: Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught!
Matt: Oh for Christ sakes can you ever shut up! Lita…the Hardy Boyz are over-
Laura: NEVER! I WILL SAVE YOU!
Matt: What?
Trish: Excuse me could we talk to someone…besides you?
H.H: That would be nice!
Kurt: Excuse me where is the milk machine?
Laura: Oh, I dunno, up your rear end?
Kurt: Oh it's true, it's damn true! Wait…
Jeff: Don't worry, you will get used to it, I always do!
Matt: That's it! CHECK US IN NOW!
Laura: Mr Rock would you like so huckleberry pie?
Rock: AAAAAHHHHHHHH…Deja vu!
Matt: LISTEN…ALL OF YOU! UNLESS YOU ALL-
Jeff: Aglabanders! (Sticking her up like an alien) My name is Manfred and I am from the planet-
Lita: Lita is distraught
Jeff: Yes…
Matt: Oh God…help me!
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Not as good as my first chapter I know, its my first comedy so don't be too harsh.
Like always I want to say a MASSIVE thanks to Twyst_Of_Fate_Gurl cos without her this story would be worse than it is. She helped me with the puns etc so go read her stories please, thank you!
