WWF Goes To…The North Pole

Disclaimer: I do not own/know any of these characters in this story. It is made for enjoyment purposes only and it is completely fictional. I don't mean to cause offence to anyone and I am sorry if I do. Please do not sue me, as I have nothing you can possibly want! Please R & R! P.s Laura is a character from my other story…'Don't Touch What Isn't Yours'!

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Chapter 6: Fakes and Phoneys

Once again, back inside Santa's Grotto…

Matt:    (Trying to pull Kurt, who was slumped in Matt's arms crying and holding onto Matt for dear life, off him.) KURT…it is okay, now please LET GO OFF ME!

Kurt:            (Sobbing) But…but…thelightswentoffandIwasallaloneandwerecompletelyupsetbecauseIdidn'tknowwhereSantawasbecausethelighrswentoff-

Rock:   Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah! The Rock says what in the blue hell are you talking about?

Y2J:     Would you please-

Steph:   Is that you ever say? (Putting on a voice) Would you please shut the hell up? It is so annoying, please stop doing it, you are such a blonde bimbo-

Trish:    Watch it Steph, your treading on thin ice!

Steph:   Sorry, anyway please come up with some more lines.

Y2J:     Why does Jericho need lines, he is the undisputed champion and he needs no one!

Kurt:            GUYS…BACK TO ME!

Matt:            (Throwing Kurt off him) Shut up!

Trish:    Right, guys is everyone here? We will all go find Santa together.

Lita:      Don't worry…I din't say that! Haha!

All:            ………what?

Lita:      You just don't understand me; I am so wonderful and beautiful-

Steph:            (Smacking Lita over the head with her boob) HA, that took care of her. Never tell me these babies never done anything apart from look nice!

Kane:   Grrr…

Taker:  You're in my yard; YOU'RE IN MY YARD!

Perry:   Dogs and cats make mice to pretend that they are hamsters. Your welcome!

Matt:    Perry, you may be getting scarier and scarier but your phrases are going downhill. You need a new scriptwriter!

Kane:            Grrr…yea I think we do too. I mean I hardly ever say anything, all I ever do is be scary.

Taker:  Yea and I want some respect!

Steph:   Yea and I want man, someone who I love and loves me-

Y2J:     Steph, to get that you don't need a new scriptwriter, you need a miracle.

Steph:   Oh hahahaha, your hilarious!

Matt:    Stop it guys! We are talking about a new scriptwriter not Steph's balloons. I mean Jeff and me are now…wait where is Jeff?

Trish:    Oh yea, I wondered why it had been so peaceful.

RVD:   Back to the point, I mean why does Kurt get milk, The Rock get pie and I get the line 'but everything is cool when your-

Taker:            (Grabbing RVD and running off beating him up along the way) DON'T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN, RESPECT ME!

RVD:   No…I WAS JUST SAYING, NO PLEASE! HELP! AAAAAHHHHHH!

Laura:            (Popping up from around the corner) Did someone call?

Matt:            Yea…me!

Laura:            Awwww, Matt your so…NIMROD!

Matt:    What?

Trish:    What are you-

Laura:            NIMROD! NIMROD! NIMROD! NIMROD! NIMROD! NIMROD! NIMROD!

Kurt:    Matt, make the scary lady stop!

Laura:            PLA…That's it you're going to go to nimrod hell now, PLA! Cuddly bumbles!

Matt:    Yes, that's nice.

Trish:            Guys…maybe we should go?

Matt:    Yea come on Laura-

Trish:    NO…I mean like us lot go, not Laura…she scares me!

Laura:   Argh, me dear don't be scared I am the loveliest person you will ever… NIMROD!

Trish:            AAAAAHHHHHH…GET HER AWAY FROM ME!

Laura:   I'd father lave father, than father laver me, for when father lavers, he laves rather free…PLA! NIMROD!

Kurt:            AAAAAAHHHHH…I want my mummy, a teddy bear and a nice warm glass of milk!

Rock:   Whoah, whoah, whoah-

Laura:   whoah, whoah! I'm gonna tell you a little story-

Rock:            DON'T YOU DARE BE THE ROCK!

Laura:   Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah! The Laura says she is gonna take this stick, shine it up real nice and stick-

Rock:            Matt…please make her stop!

Trish:    Yea she is scary!

Laura:            Mwahaha…Mwahaha! (Suddenly another blonde pops next to Laura outta nowhere and starts evil cackling with her) Oh ello me friend, me little tinker! Mwahaha…Mwahaha…Mwahaha…Mwahaha… NIMROD!!! (Suddenly Laura's friend disappears)

Kurt:    Excuse me, big scary lady…

Laura:            Yeeeees?

Kurt:    Would you please stop it?

Laura:   What? NIMROD!

Kurt:    Being scary!

Laura:            AWWW…are you scared you little NIMROD?

Kurt:            YYYYYYYes!

Laura:   BOO!

Kurt:            AAAAAHHHHHH!

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Later on further inside Santa's Grotto…

Kurt:    Right and this is where the lights went off!

Matt:    Don't worry Kurt, I will knock. Don't worry; there is nothing to scared about. The others have all tied Laura up and they are guarding her…I mean they have even called up Rikishi to come and sit on her for extra protection, don't worry okay? And as for this Santa business I am with you this time…I won't let you get hurt.

Kurt:    Oh you are so wonderful Matt.

Matt:    Stop it!

(Kurt whips out his teddy bear from inside his leotard and hides behind Matt who is about to knock on the door)

Matt:    Now don't worry; you will see everything is okay! (Knocking on the door) HELLO SANTA? LET US IN PLEASE!

(Suddenly the lights flash off, then on, then off and then on only to reveal Matt has disappeared and been replaced by Laura)

Laura:   Hi you little nimrod.

Kurt:            BBBBBBBBBB…BBBBB….BBBB…UT…AAAAHHHH!

Laura:   Don't worry you little nimrod everything is okay!

Kurt:            Are…are we going to see Santa?

Laura:            …Sure…sure!

Kurt:    YAY!

(Suddenly Laura starts pretending she is a chicken while chanting nimrod)

Laura:            QWUAK…QWUAK…QQQQQWUAK!

Kurt:            AAAAAAHHHHHH…STOP…STOP…STOP IT YOU NIMROD!

Laura:            QWUAK…what…did you say?

Kurt:            IIIIIIIII…I said nothing.

Laura:   PLA! PLA! PLA YOU RIGHT IN THE EAR! WELL MY LITTLE NIMROD…(grabbing Kurt) lets go see Santa!

(Suddenly the big doors open and Laura pulls Kurt into a room full of presents, elves and a big throne with Santa on)

Laura:            Welcome to Santa's Grotto nimrod!

Kurt:            (Crying) This is the best day of my life! (Whipping out camera and autograph book) I need pictures and autographs, I will never forget this day…I cherish it forever and ever and ever!

Laura:            Yeeeees, and you say I'm nuts?

Kurt:    No I think you're a freak!

Laura:   Argh, not until the tests come back! NIMROD! Nucking…futter!

Kurt:            AAAAAHHHH!

(Suddenly everything stops and there is a deadly silence)

Santa:   Hello little boy…come closer, come sit on Santa's lap.

Kurt:            M….MEEEE...ME?

Laura:   Yea you ya stupid twatter, is there anyone else here?

Santa:            Laura…I have had enough of you. You treat all the good little boys and girls like rubbish and I have had enough. I'm sorry but you are fired-

Laura:            I'm…(Grasping face) I'm sorry…I won't ever…WAIT? Did he just fire me?

Kurt:            Yea…twatter!

Laura:            Grrr…YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!

Santa:            Elves…take her away!

(Suddenly the thousands of elves grab Laura and take her out)

Laura:   YOU WILL NEVER KEEP ME, NEVER! MWAHAHA!

Santa:   Don't worry about her Kurt, she won't ever get away from here, she will be locked up for a long time. You see that's what happens to the bad little girls and boys…SO NEVER MISBEHAVE!

Kurt:    Okay Santa!

(Suddenly Laura and Jeff, both dressed in camouflauge outfits with paint guns in their hands burst through the walls being chased by all the elves)

Jeff:      Come on Kurt! Lets get outta this joint!

Kurt:            JEFF…WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Jeff:      Don't you see?

Laura:   He aint Santa, he is a nimrod, I mean he is a nimrod…AAAAAHHHHH…HE IS A FAKE!

Elves:            WHAT?

All:            WHAT?

Kurt:            WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?

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Oooh cliffhanger! Please state some improvements because that chapter like many of the others aren't very good so please take time to state what you want to see more of…thanks! More soon if I get enough good reviews and better ideas.

Like always I want to say a MASSIVE thanks to Twyst_Of_Fate_Gurl cos without her this story would be worse than it is. She helped me with the puns etc so go read her stories please, thank you!