WWF Goes To…The North Pole
Disclaimer: I do not own/know any of these characters in this story. It is made for enjoyment purposes only and it is completely fictional. I don't mean to cause offence to anyone and I am sorry if I do. Please do not sue me, as I have nothing you can possibly want! Please R & R! P.s Laura is a character from my other story…'Don't Touch What Isn't Yours'!
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Chapter 7: Home Time
Back inside Santa's grotto…
Laura: Stand back honeybuns I'm about to get my jiggy on!
Austin: What?
Kurt: No…no, it's not true!
Jeff: Kurt…its true, its true!
Kurt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jeff: Don't worry Kurt…it will be okay. When I first found out I was upset too, but then I realised-
Perry: Santa likes bunnies to pack his bumpkin sack as the poles of fire burn his botty!
Jeff: Yes! Exactly the point I was trying to make!
Trish: What are you all talking about?
Laura: Argh the age-old question I wonder many a night, out on the lonely mores.
Matt: Yes…does anyone know a good doctor?
Laura: Argh, j'mappelle moi is a vewy good docjouir!
Matt: No, the doctor is for you!
Laura: Uh…(pulling puppy dog eyes) that is very inconsiderate of you! Its not vewy nice!
Matt: Hey, I was doing it for-
Laura: (Pulling out massive stiletto shoes outta her pants) U WILL PAY U NIMROD, NIMROD...NNNNNNNIMROD! Mwahaha! (Suddenly familiar little blonde girl pops next to Laura outta no where and begins evil cackling with her again) Mwahahahaha…MWAHAHAHA!
Mysterious Blonde Girl: Mwahahaha, MWAHAHA!
Laura: Okay that's enough!
MBG: No, HAHA, funny clown, Hahaha!
Laura: I AM NOT A FUNNY CLOWN!
MBG: Argh, yes you are! Mwahaha! AAAHHH! (Suddenly disappearing)
Laura: Ah, that showed her. Now…where was I! (Putting shoes on head so heels point out like horns) Come here Matt, I need no doctor! PLA…LALALALALALALALALALALALALA!
Matt: Wait...OW…stop…OW!
Laura: Mwahahahardy!
Matt: Hey. Unless you stop chasing me you can't use my name!
Jeff: It isn't your name, its mine too.
Matt: Unfortunately!
Jeff: Hey Matt, I am upset now-
Laura: How inconsiderate of you!
Matt: Hey…don't gang up on me!
Lita: Don't worry Matt, I am always happy with you! You know why…
Trish: Cos u dint say that?
Lita: No…
Steph: Cos Lita is distraught?
Lita: Nope. Cos it just feels right, right, (Going into her song music) bum de bum, dow dow-
Laura: (Smashing Lita over head with shoes) Shut up!
Santa: Now you all listen here!
Laura: No you listen here you Santa phoney!
Jeff: Yea, I came all the way to see you Santa…(Crying) Why would you do this to me?
Kurt: (Hugging Jeff crying too) Yea...why Santa why?
Matt: Yea you-
Laura: Inconsiderate-
Matt: Idiot! This cost a lot of money for us (Matt suddenly realises that Jeff and Kurt are looking at him)…I mean you crushed Jeff and Kurt's dreams! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!
RVD: But it's cool!
All: GRRRR!
RVD: AAAAAAHHHH! (Runs out of the room)
Santa: I…I-
Lita: He dint say that!
Santa: What?
Austin: WHAT?
Lita: (Whispering to Santa) Don't worry, it always works on Matt!
Santa: Riiiiiiight???
Laura: Lita…and Santa…are…EEEEEVIL! I can sense the EEEVVVVIL!
Lita: I am not evil…(Crying with Jeff and Kurt) No one cares that Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught!!! WAAAAAA!
Laura: Oh suck it up you nimrod!
Kurt: And get away from me!
Jeff: Yea…Lita you are a bit…erm…you're-
Lita: Lita is distraught!!!
Jeff: Yea…
Santa: Hello? What does the sign above the door say?
Jeff: How are we supposed to know, not all of us know how to read or-
Matt: IT SAYS Santa's Grotto!
Jeff: Oh yea…silly me! (Sticking hair up like an alien) I'm an alien and from where I come from I can only read my language from where I come from-
Y2J: Would you PLEASE-
Steph: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Y2J: Who do you think you are, I am the undisputed champion, you may have undisputable big tits but-
Steph: UH…HOW DARE YOU…They are not big…THEY ARE MASSIVE! (Running of screaming) I HATE YOU! DADDY…DADDY! I NEED THEM BIGGER! WAAAAAAAA!
Laura: Oh does anyone else think the eggnog is way past its expiration date?
All: ……
Santa: SHUT UP! Now seeing as this is my grotto…ELVES TAKE THEM AWAY!
Elves: (All frowning)…
Santa: What…what are you doing?
Austin: Well…you know what my watch is saying (Sticking on Santa hat) WHAT?
Elves: What?
All: WHAT?
Austin: What?
Santa: …What?
Elves: ELIMINATE!
Austin: What?
Jeff: YEA!
Kurt: Yea…(still sobbing) I wasted all my photo's on big fat bloke…it's…it's…WAAA!
Jeff: It's true, it's DAMN true! Woo!
Kurt: No need to go overboard Jeff!
All: GET THE PHONEY!
Santa: No…NO…NOOO!
Elves: (Carrying Santa) Eliminate…eliminate…eliminate…
Jeff: (Popping up in-between all the elves) Mwahahaha!
Laura: Matt…I guess this is time to say farewell.\
Matt: But…but…I love you!
Laura: What?
Austin: What?
Laura: AUSTIN SHUT UP!
Matt: Okay…
Laura: You love me, but I'm a cuddly bumble!
Matt: But you are my cuddly bumble!
All: Awwww…
Laura: Well…Argh I'll definitely not save that cream until the wedding now, as the shiny moon rises over the rainbow! Come here bad boy!
Matt: Oh I am a bad boy…Mwahaha!
L+M: Mwahahahaha!!!
Trish: Right?
Rock: The Rock says can we fly home now and see the millions, AND MILLIONS of Rocky fans, plus get himself some humble jumble pie!
Matt: Yea, come on guys, we better go find Stephanie and Jeff anyway!
All: Okay…(All leaving apart from Matt and Kurt)
Matt: Hey, Kurt…come on!
Kurt: No…I don't want to. I came here to see the real Santa but I didn't! Now I don't want to live!
Matt: Well isn't that a bit drastic? You still had a good time right, and there is still Christmas day to come, all the lovely presents!
Kurt: Sooo…I thought this year would be magical…woo hoo!
Matt: Come on Kurt, cheer up. We have to go!
Kurt: There is nothing you can do to persuade me to come home with you!
Matt: Oh…I think there is!
* * *
Kurt: I'M IN HEAVEN!
* * *
Later on, onboard the plane back home…
Matt: Oh look, there he is…you can see him smiling at us.
Jeff: Matt, that was very nice you know!
Matt: What?
Jeff: You booked him on his own private milk plane…he is in a plain full of milk being shipped back to America!
Matt: Oh well, it was the only thing way I could get him to come back.
Jeff: Oh, I enjoyed myself anyway.
Lita: Matt…do you wanna know something?
Matt: Sure…
Lita: I dint say that!
Jeff: Mwahaha!
Laura: Mwahaha!
All: Mwahaha!
Kurt: (In other plane) Mwahaha!
Perry: Peas are dancing in the evening when the sea mingles in the milk of cowwows with a baaa and a yo hoh ho!
All: Shut up!
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The End!
Sorry guys, I hope you liked it!
I know it wasn't a very good last chapter but…what can I say?
Like always I want to say a MASSIVE thanks to Leap Of Fate (formally known as) Twyst_Of_Fate_Gurl cos without her this story would be worse than it is. She helped me with the puns etc so go read her stories please, thank you!
