WWF Goes To…The North Pole

Disclaimer: I do not own/know any of these characters in this story. It is made for enjoyment purposes only and it is completely fictional. I don't mean to cause offence to anyone and I am sorry if I do. Please do not sue me, as I have nothing you can possibly want! Please R & R! P.s Laura is a character from my other story…'Don't Touch What Isn't Yours'!

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Chapter 7: Home Time

Back inside Santa's grotto…

Laura:   Stand back honeybuns I'm about to get my jiggy on!

Austin:  What?

Kurt:    No…no, it's not true!

Jeff:      Kurt…its true, its true!

Kurt:    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jeff:      Don't worry Kurt…it will be okay. When I first found out I was upset too, but then I realised-

Perry:   Santa likes bunnies to pack his bumpkin sack as the poles of fire burn his botty!

Jeff:      Yes! Exactly the point I was trying to make!

Trish:    What are you all talking about?

Laura:   Argh the age-old question I wonder many a night, out on the lonely mores.

Matt:    Yes…does anyone know a good doctor?

Laura:   Argh, j'mappelle moi is a vewy good docjouir!

Matt:    No, the doctor is for you!

Laura:   Uh…(pulling puppy dog eyes) that is very inconsiderate of you! Its not vewy nice!

Matt:    Hey, I was doing it for-

Laura:   (Pulling out massive stiletto shoes outta her pants) U WILL PAY U NIMROD, NIMROD...NNNNNNNIMROD! Mwahaha! (Suddenly familiar little blonde girl pops next to Laura outta no where and begins evil cackling with her again) Mwahahahaha…MWAHAHAHA!

Mysterious Blonde Girl: Mwahahaha, MWAHAHA!

Laura:   Okay that's enough!

MBG:   No, HAHA, funny clown, Hahaha!

Laura:   I AM NOT A FUNNY CLOWN!

MBG:   Argh, yes you are! Mwahaha! AAAHHH! (Suddenly disappearing)

Laura:   Ah, that showed her. Now…where was I! (Putting shoes on head so heels point out like horns) Come here Matt, I need no doctor! PLA…LALALALALALALALALALALALALA!

Matt:    Wait...OW…stop…OW!

Laura:   Mwahahahardy!

Matt:    Hey. Unless you stop chasing me you can't use my name!

Jeff:      It isn't your name, its mine too.

Matt:    Unfortunately!

Jeff:      Hey Matt, I am upset now-

Laura:   How inconsiderate of you!

Matt:    Hey…don't gang up on me!

Lita:      Don't worry Matt, I am always happy with you! You know why…

Trish:    Cos u dint say that?

Lita:      No…

Steph:   Cos Lita is distraught?

Lita:      Nope. Cos it just feels right, right, (Going into her song music) bum de bum, dow dow-

Laura:   (Smashing Lita over head with shoes) Shut up!

Santa:   Now you all listen here!

Laura:   No you listen here you Santa phoney!

Jeff:      Yea, I came all the way to see you Santa…(Crying) Why would you do this to me?

Kurt:    (Hugging Jeff crying too) Yea...why Santa why?

Matt:    Yea you-

Laura:   Inconsiderate-

Matt:    Idiot! This cost a lot of money for us (Matt suddenly realises that Jeff and Kurt are looking at him)…I mean you crushed Jeff and Kurt's dreams! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!

RVD:   But it's cool!

All:       GRRRR!

RVD:   AAAAAAHHHH! (Runs out of the room)

Santa:   I…I-

Lita:      He dint say that!

Santa:   What?

Austin:  WHAT?

Lita:      (Whispering to Santa) Don't worry, it always works on Matt!

Santa:   Riiiiiiight???

Laura:   Lita…and Santa…are…EEEEEVIL! I can sense the EEEVVVVIL!

Lita:      I am not evil…(Crying with Jeff and Kurt) No one cares that Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught Lita is distraught!!! WAAAAAA!

Laura:   Oh suck it up you nimrod!

Kurt:    And get away from me!

Jeff:      Yea…Lita you are a bit…erm…you're-

Lita:      Lita is distraught!!!

Jeff:      Yea…

Santa:   Hello? What does the sign above the door say?

Jeff:      How are we supposed to know, not all of us know how to read or-

Matt:    IT SAYS Santa's Grotto!

Jeff:      Oh yea…silly me! (Sticking hair up like an alien) I'm an alien and from where I come from I can only read my language from where I come from-

Y2J:     Would you PLEASE-

Steph:   SHUT THE HELL UP!

Y2J:     Who do you think you are, I am the undisputed champion, you may have undisputable big tits but-

Steph:   UH…HOW DARE YOU…They are not big…THEY ARE MASSIVE! (Running of screaming) I HATE YOU! DADDY…DADDY! I NEED THEM BIGGER! WAAAAAAAA!

Laura:   Oh does anyone else think the eggnog is way past its expiration date?

All:       ……

Santa:   SHUT UP! Now seeing as this is my grotto…ELVES TAKE THEM AWAY!

Elves:   (All frowning)…

Santa:   What…what are you doing?

Austin:  Well…you know what my watch is saying (Sticking on Santa hat) WHAT?

Elves:   What?

All:       WHAT?

Austin:  What?

Santa:   …What?

Elves:   ELIMINATE!

Austin:  What?

Jeff:      YEA!

Kurt:    Yea…(still sobbing) I wasted all my photo's on big fat bloke…it's…it's…WAAA!

Jeff:      It's true, it's DAMN true! Woo!

Kurt:    No need to go overboard Jeff!

All:       GET THE PHONEY!

Santa:   No…NO…NOOO!

Elves:   (Carrying Santa) Eliminate…eliminate…eliminate…

Jeff:      (Popping up in-between all the elves) Mwahahaha!

Laura:   Matt…I guess this is time to say farewell.\

Matt:    But…but…I love you!

Laura:   What?

Austin:  What?

Laura:   AUSTIN SHUT UP!

Matt:    Okay…

Laura:   You love me, but I'm a cuddly bumble!

Matt:    But you are my cuddly bumble!

All:       Awwww…

Laura:   Well…Argh I'll definitely not save that cream until the wedding now, as the shiny moon rises over the rainbow! Come here bad boy!

Matt:    Oh I am a bad boy…Mwahaha!

L+M:   Mwahahahaha!!!

Trish:    Right?

Rock:   The Rock says can we fly home now and see the millions, AND MILLIONS of Rocky fans, plus get himself some humble jumble pie!

Matt:    Yea, come on guys, we better go find Stephanie and Jeff anyway!

All:       Okay…(All leaving apart from Matt and Kurt)

Matt:    Hey, Kurt…come on!

Kurt:    No…I don't want to. I came here to see the real Santa but I didn't! Now I don't want to live!

Matt:    Well isn't that a bit drastic? You still had a good time right, and there is still Christmas day to come, all the lovely presents!

Kurt:    Sooo…I thought this year would be magical…woo hoo!

Matt:    Come on Kurt, cheer up. We have to go!

Kurt:    There is nothing you can do to persuade me to come home with you!

Matt:    Oh…I think there is!

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Kurt:    I'M IN HEAVEN!

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Later on, onboard the plane back home…

Matt:    Oh look, there he is…you can see him smiling at us.

Jeff:      Matt, that was very nice you know!

Matt:    What?

Jeff:      You booked him on his own private milk plane…he is in a plain full of milk being shipped back to America!

Matt:    Oh well, it was the only thing way I could get him to come back.

Jeff:      Oh, I enjoyed myself anyway.

Lita:      Matt…do you wanna know something?

Matt:    Sure…

Lita:      I dint say that!

Jeff:      Mwahaha!

Laura:   Mwahaha!

All:       Mwahaha!

Kurt:    (In other plane) Mwahaha!

Perry:   Peas are dancing in the evening when the sea mingles in the milk of cowwows with a baaa and a yo hoh ho!

All:       Shut up!

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The End!

Sorry guys, I hope you liked it!

I know it wasn't a very good last chapter but…what can I say?

Like always I want to say a MASSIVE thanks to Leap Of Fate (formally known as) Twyst_Of_Fate_Gurl cos without her this story would be worse than it is. She helped me with the puns etc so go read her stories please, thank you!