I wanted my knife back. Riff had led me and sat beside me as I lay
on the bed, silent and still through the last of my sobs. After I
silenced, Riff made no attempt to speak, but the stillness in the room
changed, I could hear him thinking, searching for words.
"You're really quite slow-witted, Magenta. You really thought you could get rid of something important that way, didn't you?" He lifted up my sleeve, revealing the red slash. "Why bother damaging this lovely skin of yours? It's not worth it."
I wanted my knife back. He was taunting me; I could just feel his pleasure in my distress. Opening my mouth to snarl at him, he pressed his fingers lightly against my mouth. My mind turned off, and an uncontrollable fury took over, emanating from the epicenter at cut. Sitting up suddenly, I snapped at his fingers, catching them between my teeth, and causing him to exclaim in surprised anger. Pushing him off the bed, I spat his own blood back onto him. I took advantage of his startled bewilderment to run from the room. Before I had gauged that he would have attempted, his hand came around from behind me, grasping my throat. Halting the air in my larynx and dragging me back to the room, he flung me onto the floor. Straddling me, we must have looked like two children, play- wrestling each other. Putting his hands on either side of my face, he pressed my head to the floor.
"Stop it, stop it!" he was screaming now, "what makes you think you're better than me? You're not! Damn you, Magenta, stop it! Stop making me love you! Stop being so beautiful, so pitifully desperate for love! Bitch, it's an affliction, can't you see that? I wasn't meant to love you, sister," he spat the word, "I wasn't meant to love you."
I began to question his sanity, as I had my own on the kitchen floor minutes ago. I dared not speak, but I looked up at him, opening my eyes wider, trying for the innocent, questioning look.
"I said stop it! Do you want me to scratch them out?" I closed my eyes. He was pulling off my clothes now, carefully, but with a harsh jerk as well. "I don't want this," he continued, murmuring, "I want you, but not this." He wrapped his arms around me, around my back, pulling my dress out from under me. "Don't hurt yourself like that, Magenta, you only hurt me." He turned my arm to the marks again, tenderly kissing the blood off.
"That was against the rules, what you did. We're playing a game here, and if we want to win, we have to follow the rules. I know them better than you do; you never were good with instructions. You need to listen to me, obey me. I've taken care of you since you were a baby, remember, I'm your older brother, and I know what's best for you." this was sounding familiar. He pressed my body with his, crushing me into the floor. "Don't do anything silly like this again, Magenta, just follow me; stay silent and obey."
His lips grazed against my chin, moving down to my shoulder, where he kissed, softly at first, then, unexpectedly, biting down, hard. "If you need to bleed, I'll help you bleed," he said, dipping his finger into the pool of blood by my neck, and then holding it to my lips. Accepting his macabre offering, I accepted him. He began to relax against me, pulling off his clothes to match my bareness.
As always, I was quickly rushed into a lake of warm pleasure. Biting down hard on my lip, I lifted myself up to meet my brother's body. I needed no more of a bribe than this, I was easily swayed when I had this on my side. The knife slowly withdrew from my brain, and was replaced with the brightest black.
"You're really quite slow-witted, Magenta. You really thought you could get rid of something important that way, didn't you?" He lifted up my sleeve, revealing the red slash. "Why bother damaging this lovely skin of yours? It's not worth it."
I wanted my knife back. He was taunting me; I could just feel his pleasure in my distress. Opening my mouth to snarl at him, he pressed his fingers lightly against my mouth. My mind turned off, and an uncontrollable fury took over, emanating from the epicenter at cut. Sitting up suddenly, I snapped at his fingers, catching them between my teeth, and causing him to exclaim in surprised anger. Pushing him off the bed, I spat his own blood back onto him. I took advantage of his startled bewilderment to run from the room. Before I had gauged that he would have attempted, his hand came around from behind me, grasping my throat. Halting the air in my larynx and dragging me back to the room, he flung me onto the floor. Straddling me, we must have looked like two children, play- wrestling each other. Putting his hands on either side of my face, he pressed my head to the floor.
"Stop it, stop it!" he was screaming now, "what makes you think you're better than me? You're not! Damn you, Magenta, stop it! Stop making me love you! Stop being so beautiful, so pitifully desperate for love! Bitch, it's an affliction, can't you see that? I wasn't meant to love you, sister," he spat the word, "I wasn't meant to love you."
I began to question his sanity, as I had my own on the kitchen floor minutes ago. I dared not speak, but I looked up at him, opening my eyes wider, trying for the innocent, questioning look.
"I said stop it! Do you want me to scratch them out?" I closed my eyes. He was pulling off my clothes now, carefully, but with a harsh jerk as well. "I don't want this," he continued, murmuring, "I want you, but not this." He wrapped his arms around me, around my back, pulling my dress out from under me. "Don't hurt yourself like that, Magenta, you only hurt me." He turned my arm to the marks again, tenderly kissing the blood off.
"That was against the rules, what you did. We're playing a game here, and if we want to win, we have to follow the rules. I know them better than you do; you never were good with instructions. You need to listen to me, obey me. I've taken care of you since you were a baby, remember, I'm your older brother, and I know what's best for you." this was sounding familiar. He pressed my body with his, crushing me into the floor. "Don't do anything silly like this again, Magenta, just follow me; stay silent and obey."
His lips grazed against my chin, moving down to my shoulder, where he kissed, softly at first, then, unexpectedly, biting down, hard. "If you need to bleed, I'll help you bleed," he said, dipping his finger into the pool of blood by my neck, and then holding it to my lips. Accepting his macabre offering, I accepted him. He began to relax against me, pulling off his clothes to match my bareness.
As always, I was quickly rushed into a lake of warm pleasure. Biting down hard on my lip, I lifted myself up to meet my brother's body. I needed no more of a bribe than this, I was easily swayed when I had this on my side. The knife slowly withdrew from my brain, and was replaced with the brightest black.
