"Caught a lite sneeze
Dream a little dream
Make my own pretty hate machine
Boys on my left side
Boys on my right side
Boys in the middle, and you're not here
I need a big loan from the girls zone"
Tori Amos (Boys for Pele), Caught a Lite Sneeze
This is another sequential story. Some of the characters and plot are already processed in two of my previous stories, so it would be circumspect if you have already read 'Switched Identities - Lucius Malfoy and Arthur Weasley' and 'The Old Business and Birth of Harry', otherwise there may be some things that won't be that easy to fathom.
Littérateur's General Note: So the cabal is this: Harry Potter, sixth year at Hogwarts. Things happen, good and bed (more bad than good, tought), Harry does his 'thing', and on the end everyone's happy and serene. Well it's not like that. I reckon, you should better read the story so you see what happens.
Admires you: Ætheral Blood
Advocating (aka disclaimer, but I thought to be a little creative): -none of the characters abused in the story you're just about to read is the property of moi; -with acceptation on Lucius Malfoy, and be vigilant, because will I sue for him; -and with acceptation with the characters you never heard for before accept in my other stories or you really never heard for before; -and the title is borrowed(ilegally used) from DCD's (Dead Can Dance) song;
¤ The Wake of the Adversity ¤
Sixth year at Hogwarts begins. Great Hall of Hogwarts was once again filled with thousands of faces; expressions ranging from anxious to sulky, from perplexed to parsimonious. Harry Potter, the special boy that lived didn't quite enjoy the Sorting Ceremony. Ron, his best friend, and he were awfully hungry. Sharlote Halater went to Hufflepuff; Raimund Schoss went to Slytherin; and that Germàn Olycklig joined at the Gryffindor table, where they were sitting. It makes no difference when your stomach is so empty that when you eat something afterwards, you hear 'CLANG' what person went to what house. -"The feast may begin" - Dumbledore cheerfully announced. If Ron paid attention to look at Dumbledore, he would notice that Dumbledore was looking particularly at him. At his martyred face, like of a fallen Greek deity. No one worships them today, in those generations of machination. Ron filled his plate with beef steak, mashed potato with chicken and tomato sauce over, sauerkraut, sausage, mushroom cream over small bread roles, and some creamy white thing no one knew what it was. Hermione sighed at him. -"You're eating too fast, Ron" - she reproved him. Mashed potato was awfully delicious to care for what Hermione just said. -"Harry, I'm glad that you're not as ill-mannered at the table as Ron" - she told Harry, as Harry pushed some bread into full-mouth. -"Thank you Hermione for teaching us good manners" - Hermione herself immitated Ron's voice. -"Why are you talking to yourself, Hermione?" - Ron asked, confused. Hermione said nothing, shouting him a sarcastic stare. When everyone have eaten, Dumbledore stood up to give his speech out. -"First year students, welcome to Hogwarts; older Hogwarts students, welcome back to Hogwarts. A lot of things have changed this year. Grades five and up will have a party thrown somewhere during the winter. ("Splendid" - the Weasley twins chorused.) -"Now, I will have the honour to present you your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Some of the students just had severely many of them. This year, it will be Professor Ancilla Deitrich." She smiled from where she was sitting as everyone clapped. Harry couldn't not miss that Snape, who was sitting beside her, wasn't looking malignantly at her, not lethaly like into every other DADA teacher. But it seemed like they were having a pleasant conversation. -"Professor Deitrich has spend last three years in India where she studied some magiks that are obscure to the Western Civilisation. Interesting that people in India don't practise it either, they use what we do, Roman magik, but Indian magik is just there. She've done this for fifteen years, and honestly, I feel like an amateur comparing to her in some fields. "Things that are forbidden to do or possess at Hogwarts are, and some of you hopefully won't have to stay another additional year at Hogwarts to comprehend thas (he was looking particularly at Fred, George, and Lee), going to the Forbidden Forest, throwing Splashing-Tomato Bombs at your caretaker (now it was obvious that Fred, George, and Lee were the only thing that Dumbledore saw), Dung Bombs, and other stuff you can find listed on the Library Announcement Wall. "So I would like to wish good night to you all, and off to your dormitories you go" - Dumbledore said. Harry, Ron, and Hermione wanted to say hello to Hagrid before going to sleep. Hagrid had a little bit too much wine tonight. -"Hello Hagrid" - Hermione said. -"Hullo Hermione, Harry, and Ron!" - roared Hagrid. Eventually he was drunk enough not to be able to control his voice. As Harry came neared the High Table, he was able to see Professor Deitrich better. He could surely saw that she was pretty, especially comparing to Snape who she was chatting with. -"We just wanted to say hello, we haven't seen you for ages" - Ron said. Sequentially Professor Deitrich raised to leave the talbe, Snape raising after her. She passed Hagrid with no second glance. Snape followed her, looking benign. Harry assumed that Snape was orbiting around her because she was apparently very slim and with optimal body proportions. -"Professor Deitrich" - Hagrid drunkenly said after her. She prosaically turned to him, overbearingly looking at him. -"Yes" - she said solemnly. Before Hagrid could speak what's on his mind, Snape whispered something to her, and she surveyed Harry with her eagle eyes. It was clear to Harry that Snape pointed on him. Harry couldn't wait until she starts torturing him as Snape always does. -"Dumbledore told me that ye' need summat to help ya with yer luggage?" -"No, thanks Hagrid. Severus will help me" - she said, never stopping to survey Harry. -"And what are you children doing here? You should be in your dormitory by now. Five points off Gryffindor because of your wandering after everyone's gone. You know what Weasley, it would benefit Slytherin if you would follow your brothers' example in losing all the Gryffindor points, and putting it into minus" - Snape said hatefully. Ancilla examined Harry one more time before turning around. -"That stupid, slyly, greasy, oily..." -"Ron, it's not nice to say that" - Hermione said, when they were out of the Great Hall, safe distance away from Snape, heading towards their dormitories. -"It's ok when it's about Snape. Or Draco Malfoy. (Oh blessed Quidditch, Harry thought, he will be able to 'kill' Malfoy this year again.)" - Harry said, innocently. -"Our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is really pretty. What is she doing with that slimy git Snape?" - Ron asked, freely. They were climbing the deserted staircase, all by themselves. -"Maybe she is his wife?" - Harry guessed. -"Harry, didn't I say she's pretty? She could have someone perhaps better looking than him" - Ron said, sarcastically. -"Indeed, she does. She is an ex Azkeban Governor. She did that job for very long time. She had two husbands; first one, Calvin Scorge, died by falling down the stairs. Second one she is currently married to is Mathieu Bégayer. He is much better looking than Snape. I mean who isn't." - Hermione was talking breathlessly, climbing the last stair. There few more staircases to be conquered. -"Ok, where are you keeping your cue cards?" - Harry asked. -"Would you be nice and reference all what you told us? What book would it be? 700-page light reading..." - Ron started, sardonically. -"Her biography was in Witch Weekly" - Hermione sighed. They were finally in front of the Fat Lady portrait. -"What's the watchword, Your Majesty, the Prefect?" - Ron asked Hermione. -"Ambulat" - the portrait opened.
Snape helped Ancilla get her large luggage into her chambers. Severus said nothing about all her suitcases. -"Thank you for helping me, Severus" - she said, cordially. -"It's really nothing" - Snape said. He was inclined so he would lower her stuff down on the floor. When he tried to straighten himself up, he couldn't. His back couldn't, and they were aching. He let out a shriek. -"It's really nothing, eh?" - She acerbically approached, and helped him stand up. -"Sit down" - she pulled him on the sofa. She sat behind him, and started massaging his shoulders. -"That feels good" - he said. She smiled. -"Get your shirt off, I wanna do your back" - she said, taking his clothes of him. -"You're hitting on me pretty openly, Ancilla. You're so promiscuous" - he said. She wrestled him to lay on the sofa, his stomach down. -"Shut up. Is it better now? Does it still hurt?" - she said after few minutes. -"It does, a lot" - Snape lied. -"Talk to me. I'm interested to hear everything. We couldn't really have a conversation at the High Table, the Minerva is so nosy and annoying." -"Tell me about it. He hated me a lot when I was her student." - Ancilla commented, astringently. -"She doesn't like you much now, either. You should've hear what she said about you before you came. So what countries did you travel?" -"Mathieu and I started with Africa. So Egypt, Ethiopia, Kenya, Zaire, Sudan, Chad, Libya, Mali, Ivory Coast, and Namibia. Asia came next. Syria, Saudi Arabia, Burma, Bengal, and India. Mathieu and I spent the most of the time in India. Such a picturesque country." - Ancilla was talking as her hands moved down his back. -"Does it still hurt you?" - she prudently asked. -"I don't think it will ever hurt after this, Ancilla" - Snape said, getting up, and dressing himself up.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione descended to the Great Hall next morning. As they were seated at the Gryffindor table, McGonagall was passing around, giving them the timetables. -"Splendid" - Harry snarled under his breath, surveying the timetable. -"Either I'm loosing my sight, or we have a lot of the classes with Slytherins" - Ron said, ungladly. -"Potions, traditionally we have it with the Slytherins; Magical Creatures, Slytherins again; Defence Against the Dark Arts, oh this is something unlike, we also have it with the Slytherins" - Hermione was reading. -"That's only three" - interrupted Seamus who was sitting beside her. -"Only three? Seamus, you're talking about Slytherin. It's enough that we have to be in the same castle with them, now we have three instead of two classes with them" - Ron said. Harry glanced over Slytherin table. Draco was there, talking to few pretty girls; as soon as he noticed Harry staring at him, he send him an enchanting sneer. Harry looked away, briskly. Professor Deitrich caught his eyes. She was chatting with Snape again. He couldn't describe the mysterious appearance she had something esoteric she carried with her. Yet all her face features were distinguished as heinous, but it couldn't be said for her. Her face was of radiant white--Harry could give himself freedom of describing it as fluorescent. Her dark-coloured eyes had the ominous stare at everything. Her this nose, above her heart-shaped lips, and that sharp chin.
Adversity of the fact that his very first class would be Potions was followed by the fact that Snape looked really grim. Well, grimmer than usually. Predictable for Snape to let them wait in front of the dungeon until he summons the left over decency inside him and comes to let them in. Than he begins the ceaseless torture. Harry, Ron, and Hermione waited at the end of the corridor from where Draco was about to emerge from. And so he did, followed by faithful convoys Crabbe and Goyle. When he saw Harry, he suddenly stopped. -"Like my birthday present, Potter?" - Draco sneered, taking a petite snake out of his robe pocket. The thirty centimetres snake was of deep ruby. -"It's not you're birthday, yet?" - Hermione asked, perplexed. Harry and Ron was astonished by the fact that she knows when Draco's birthday is. -"Damn right, Muggle. It's on twenty-seventh September. This, unfortunately non-poisonous snake is bought by my father. It's from Brazil rain forests. What did your father buy you for your birthday, Potter?" - Draco asked cynically, holding the snake carefully petting it. -"Oh sorry Potter, I forgot that your father died" - than he, along with Crabbe and Goyle laughed scornful laugh. It beared a tone of hysteria in it. It was loud, and other people turned around to see what's so funny. But than Snape arrived. -"Such an adorable snake you have there, Draco" - Snape commented as he let everyone in the classroom. -"Thank you sir, it's of obscre vitrae specie (Draco pronounced it as it was French)." -"It's ob-sc-ré vit-rah-e" - Hermione snapped very quietly, only Harry heard. Snape didn't forget to send Harry one of those loathsome stares before he got into the classroom. As everyone was in, he slammed the window, and headed towards the catedra. -"What are you waiting for, hand in the homework" - he snarled. Students rushed over to his table to give him rolls of parchment. -"I hope he won't mind that I've done extra research on Dunstle-Rain flower" - Hermione asked feebly, as they approached Snape's desk. -"What is the Dunstle-Rain flower?" - Ron asked her, flabbergasted. -"It's a plant, Weasley. Proper name for it is Eracuela flouris. It's because the flowers can reach very high." - Draco sneered, giving his roll of the most expensive parchment to Snape. -"Excellent, Malfoy. You just earned five points for your house" - Snape said, accepting Harry's report rigidly. Harry glanced at Snape's face. It seemed like his eye-bags were heavier this morning. Everybody went back to their seats. Harry didn't like the fact that Draco was sitting right beside him. He gently played with his snake. Over the table, Pansy was whining: -"Oh, Draco, you're so brave; snakes are so dangerous." -"This one's poisonous" - he said, boastfully. -"Oooh." And just few moments ago, Draco was telling that the snake wasn't venomous. That reminded Harry on Basilisk. If Draco was a hero for holding a miniature non-poisonous snake, what was Harry for killing the giant diry viper? -"I will begin today's lesson with the review of the homework. Weasley, what's Eracuela flouris?" -"I don't know sir" - Ron said, quietly. Traditionally, Snape didn't notice Hermione's hand, and he called Draco. -"It's a plant, sir. We call it Dunstle-Rain flower." -"Butt kisser" - Harry said quietly to Draco. Draco just arrogantly moved the snake closer to Harry's face. -"Don't you think it's adorable" - Draco asked angelically. -"It's disgusting as much as you are" - Harry told him. That irritated Draco. Draco suddenly punched Harry really hard, in his stomach. With no thinking, Harry punched back. But he punched his head, and Snape happened to see only when Harry was punching Snape's protégé. -"Potter, what kind of behaving is that?" - he flew over to their table. -"He hit me first" - Harry said. He was mad because it was clear that Snape will accept Draco's version of the story. -"He's laying, sir. And he insulted me, also" - Draco said. -"How dare you lie to me, Harry Potter?" - Snape gritted his teeth. -"Everything I hear from you are lies, Potter. Why did you punch Malfoy?" -"Because he's a fucking imbecile" - Harry said. Nay, that wasn't something he should've said. Hermione buried her face in her hands. Ron wanted to cheer for Harry, but it wasn't that prudent. -"Repeat what you just said" - Snape breathed every word he pronounced. -"Because he's a fucking imbecile" - Harry repeated. -"And you're a bastard, by it's real definition" - Draco retorted to him. -"Harry Potter, go to Headmaster's office, immediately, and tell him what have you done" - it seemed as a fair idea to Harry because he knew that Dumbledore will believe him. But Snape kind of realised that Dumbledore favours Harry to much, so he changed. -"No, wait, go to McGonagall's office, and tell her what have you done" - he said in the undertone. Harry angrily headed outside. McGonagall was outraged by how he insulted Draco Malfoy. Harry had to apologise to Draco, and twenty points were abducted of Gryffindor.
Harry didn't really look foreword to Defence Against the Dark Arts class. He assumed that Professor Deitrich would hate him as much as Snape does due to the fact that she spends so much time with him. It was a clear Wednesday morning, and after the breakfast Harry, Ron, and Hermione set of to their Defence Against the Dark Arts class. It was in one of the North Wing turrets. The classroom was dark and commodious. Professor Deitrich wasn't in there yet. Harry, Ron, and Hermione figured out that it would be safe to sit in the seats on the back of the classroom. Few minutes later she came in. -"I'm sorry for being late" - she said negligently, and with wave of her wand all the black curtains over the windows moved, and the classroom was light. -"My name is Professor Deitrich, and I will be your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher" - rigidly she said, eyeing everyone in the room. Neville chickened out of her stare, and looked away. -"I shall do the attendance, now" - she took the attendance clip board without withdrawing her stare from everybody. She was standing, leaning of her catedra desk. She read the names in stiff voice. She paused at Harry Potter. -"Here" - Harry said. -"Harry Potter, the boy who lived" - she headed his way. Beside his table she stood, and gently moved his bangs, and looked at his forehead scar. Harry didn't see the Snapish loath in her eyes. They were opaque. She speechlessly returned to her former position in front of the whole class, continuing to read the attendance. -"I don't care what your previous teachers taught you; I'm here to show you the real magic, the real pain of the deadly curses. For you to see what pain really looks like. "I could all teach you how to perform forgotten Pakistan Curse equivalent to our Imperious Curse, and if you perform it, guess what? Ministry can do nothing to you, because they didn't know that that curse even exists. But why do that? Why would I spill you the enlightened secrets I spend last fifteen years looking for, and teaching myself how to do them? Why would I do that, when I see that more than half of you in here are not even fit for Muggle world with your knowledge, but you are here at Hogwarts, still. Aren't you? "I bet that only few of you are here to learn (Hermione sighed happily on this), but only few of you will ever be able to do this." She gathered her hands in front of her face. Few cryptic words were heard from her, and as she moved her hands away, wind burst out of there, shaking the whole classroom. The pupils all stared in amazement. Than they clapped, each and everyone. Even Draco Malfoy was fascinated. None of them ever saw wandless magic before. -"It took me thirteen years to muster this. And it's just the start of the wandless magic, developed in Syria. This spell has no use in England, only where there are desert terrains. It starts desert storm." She said stiffly. She folded her arms. -"What will we be learning this year?" - she asked, and only few arms raised. Hermione tried her best to stretch her arm as much as possible, and she was called out. -"We will be learning more advanced studies about vampires, basic Dementors doctorine and Patronus, talismans and lucky-charms, and dragons" - she said, briskly. -"What is your name?" - she asked her. -"Hermione Granger" - Hermione said, in clear voice. -"Are you of Muggle parentage?" - she asked sceptically. -"Yes" - Hermione answered. She didn't like Professor Deitrich's face. -"So what are you doing here?" - she asked. -"Pardon me?" - Hermione felt humiliated. -"You should go back to the Muggle world. Muggles know nothing about the magic" - she said sternly. Loud derisive laugh was heard from Draco; few other Slytherins followed him, but not as loudly as he was. Hermione's eyes filled with tears, and she buried her head in her arms, crying. No one ever insulted her like that in her life, well maybe Snape when in fourth year Draco enlarged her teeth, and Snape said he sees no difference. -"She's is just plain same as Snape" - Ron snapped angrily at Harry. -"At least she doesn't hate me at much as Snape does" - Harry replied. Ron wanted to tell her off, but Hermione begged him not to. -"Your first lessons today will be: the Vampires. Define Vampire for me?" - she asked. She sassily looked over to Hermione, waiting for her to raise her arm, but she didn't. -"Yes, Malfoy" - she said. Harry didn't bother to care how did she already knew who Draco is. He figured it out that Muggle-hating scums affiliate with other Muggle-hating scums. -"Vampires, or the undead, are the preternatural creatures who need human blood to survive. They are found in the forests and ruins of Balkan and some of the Eastern Europe, especially the Carpathian Transylvania of Romania." - Draco said in the angelic voice. He was a Pureblood. -"Excellent Malfoy. Five points for Slytherin. Longbottom, how do you kill a vampire?" - she moved to Neville. Harry had it clear -- she is just Snape's reincarnation; she picks on everyone Snape does. -"You stake him in his heart" - Neville said feebly. Harry was waiting for him to brakes down and starts crying. -"That's wrong; just like Count Dracula, that's a fiction. Dracula (Dra-koo-lya) was Romanian Emperor, during the Turkish occupation on the Balkan. He was just an ordinary Muggle, but extraordinary person to learn about. His nickname was Vlad the Impeller, because he used to impale people, and dip bread into their blood. During the Battle of Cassova (today's Kosovo), of 1389, his forces battled on Serbian side. It was guaranteed defeat to them, because the Serbian nobility and oligarchy betrayed their country and went on Turkish side. "So what are the ways to kill a vampire, Longbottom?" - she asked again. -"Expose him to light" - Neville answered infirmly. -"Good, two points for Gryffindor." - Neville's face illuminated. He didn't earn points often. -"Harry Potter, how does a vampire differ from a normal man?" - she curtly turned to Harry. Her eyes were inquiring for the answer. -"Their skin is ashen white; you can see all the veins and arteries in their body; their canine teeth are longer and sharper; they are of incredible strength; and they suck people's blood" - Harry finished. -"Perfectly. Five points for Gryffindor" - she said. Well that is the difference, Harry though. Snape never ever gave him any points. Even when he gave it to Gryffindor, that was to Seamus who he seemed to hate least from that house. -"I have something to add, Miss" - Draco raised his hand. -"It's Mrs, not Miss. Go ahead" - she said, beckoning Draco to go. -"Vampires detest Pureblood, so the gentry is safe" - Draco said, looking particularly at Hermione. She still had her head in her arms. -"That's even more precise, Malfoy. Twenty points for Slytherin" - she said. For the rest of the class, she was asking question, and giving out more points. Harry noticed the fact that she is normal to him. She didn't show any sign of hatred towards him. But she continued, with help of few Slytherins with Draco Malfoy on as the leader, the people of Muggle parentage. Another thing Harry just couldn't miss was how Draco nice was. He was a tiny clement angel when he spoke to her, following her with his eyes where ever she went. Harry didn't mention this to anyone.
Hermione abhorred even the mentioning of 'Professor Deitrich'. Professor McGonagall quite agreed with her. The Defence Against the Dark Arts class was right before the Transfiguration lesson. Professor McGonagall would always criticise Ancilla's teachings, as Hermione showed her what they learnt today. Harry didn't found her Muggle putting down's amusing, neither did Ron. Au contraire, Draco was captivated by it. One day, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting in the corner of the homeroom, doing the homework. -"Anything interesting in the Daily Prophet?" - Ron asked Harry, carelessly reading a Potions lessons Snape assigned them to read. -"Voldemort killed more people. All of them were Muggles, of a small Belgian town" - Harry sighed, throwing the paper on the table. It was Hermione's newspaper, she was subscribed to it for a very long time already. -"Muggles... killed" - Hermione growled angrily, not stopping to write her homework. -"You're really getting hurt by Prof Deitrich's taunting, Hermione?" - Ron asked. -"Must - do - the - homework - and - show - her - Muggle-borns - are - just - as - smart as - the - Pureblood - snobs" - Hermione said, not raising her head from the essay she was writing. -"Of course she is; on the other hand, Draco Malfoy seems extremely fond of her" - Harry said. He was puzzled how no one else could see that. -"No, he isn't!" - Hermione snarled, at last looking up to Harry and Ron. -"Come down, Hermione. Who cares about Draco?" - Ron asked. -"No one" - Hermione said quietly, and returned on writing the essay.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Down in the cellar You're getting into making poison. You slipped some on the side, Into my glass of wine, And I don't' want any coffee homeground."
Kate Bush (Lionheart), Coffee Homeground
Postscriptum:
Coffee is good for you. It helps you stay awake and sane. My favourite one if plain Brazilian coffee, with very little sugar, and a lot of milk.
I was always having problems in making up those 'weird' names when I'm writing Harry Potter fanfiction. But I dare to share one of my personal tip with you. Use dictionary and maps. Like JKR got Snape from a map. It's a village in UK. Just take French, German, Latin, or any other language and use the words that you find appropriate to be that person's name.
Tori Amos (Boys for Pele), Caught a Lite Sneeze
This is another sequential story. Some of the characters and plot are already processed in two of my previous stories, so it would be circumspect if you have already read 'Switched Identities - Lucius Malfoy and Arthur Weasley' and 'The Old Business and Birth of Harry', otherwise there may be some things that won't be that easy to fathom.
Littérateur's General Note: So the cabal is this: Harry Potter, sixth year at Hogwarts. Things happen, good and bed (more bad than good, tought), Harry does his 'thing', and on the end everyone's happy and serene. Well it's not like that. I reckon, you should better read the story so you see what happens.
Admires you: Ætheral Blood
Advocating (aka disclaimer, but I thought to be a little creative): -none of the characters abused in the story you're just about to read is the property of moi; -with acceptation on Lucius Malfoy, and be vigilant, because will I sue for him; -and with acceptation with the characters you never heard for before accept in my other stories or you really never heard for before; -and the title is borrowed(ilegally used) from DCD's (Dead Can Dance) song;
¤ The Wake of the Adversity ¤
Sixth year at Hogwarts begins. Great Hall of Hogwarts was once again filled with thousands of faces; expressions ranging from anxious to sulky, from perplexed to parsimonious. Harry Potter, the special boy that lived didn't quite enjoy the Sorting Ceremony. Ron, his best friend, and he were awfully hungry. Sharlote Halater went to Hufflepuff; Raimund Schoss went to Slytherin; and that Germàn Olycklig joined at the Gryffindor table, where they were sitting. It makes no difference when your stomach is so empty that when you eat something afterwards, you hear 'CLANG' what person went to what house. -"The feast may begin" - Dumbledore cheerfully announced. If Ron paid attention to look at Dumbledore, he would notice that Dumbledore was looking particularly at him. At his martyred face, like of a fallen Greek deity. No one worships them today, in those generations of machination. Ron filled his plate with beef steak, mashed potato with chicken and tomato sauce over, sauerkraut, sausage, mushroom cream over small bread roles, and some creamy white thing no one knew what it was. Hermione sighed at him. -"You're eating too fast, Ron" - she reproved him. Mashed potato was awfully delicious to care for what Hermione just said. -"Harry, I'm glad that you're not as ill-mannered at the table as Ron" - she told Harry, as Harry pushed some bread into full-mouth. -"Thank you Hermione for teaching us good manners" - Hermione herself immitated Ron's voice. -"Why are you talking to yourself, Hermione?" - Ron asked, confused. Hermione said nothing, shouting him a sarcastic stare. When everyone have eaten, Dumbledore stood up to give his speech out. -"First year students, welcome to Hogwarts; older Hogwarts students, welcome back to Hogwarts. A lot of things have changed this year. Grades five and up will have a party thrown somewhere during the winter. ("Splendid" - the Weasley twins chorused.) -"Now, I will have the honour to present you your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Some of the students just had severely many of them. This year, it will be Professor Ancilla Deitrich." She smiled from where she was sitting as everyone clapped. Harry couldn't not miss that Snape, who was sitting beside her, wasn't looking malignantly at her, not lethaly like into every other DADA teacher. But it seemed like they were having a pleasant conversation. -"Professor Deitrich has spend last three years in India where she studied some magiks that are obscure to the Western Civilisation. Interesting that people in India don't practise it either, they use what we do, Roman magik, but Indian magik is just there. She've done this for fifteen years, and honestly, I feel like an amateur comparing to her in some fields. "Things that are forbidden to do or possess at Hogwarts are, and some of you hopefully won't have to stay another additional year at Hogwarts to comprehend thas (he was looking particularly at Fred, George, and Lee), going to the Forbidden Forest, throwing Splashing-Tomato Bombs at your caretaker (now it was obvious that Fred, George, and Lee were the only thing that Dumbledore saw), Dung Bombs, and other stuff you can find listed on the Library Announcement Wall. "So I would like to wish good night to you all, and off to your dormitories you go" - Dumbledore said. Harry, Ron, and Hermione wanted to say hello to Hagrid before going to sleep. Hagrid had a little bit too much wine tonight. -"Hello Hagrid" - Hermione said. -"Hullo Hermione, Harry, and Ron!" - roared Hagrid. Eventually he was drunk enough not to be able to control his voice. As Harry came neared the High Table, he was able to see Professor Deitrich better. He could surely saw that she was pretty, especially comparing to Snape who she was chatting with. -"We just wanted to say hello, we haven't seen you for ages" - Ron said. Sequentially Professor Deitrich raised to leave the talbe, Snape raising after her. She passed Hagrid with no second glance. Snape followed her, looking benign. Harry assumed that Snape was orbiting around her because she was apparently very slim and with optimal body proportions. -"Professor Deitrich" - Hagrid drunkenly said after her. She prosaically turned to him, overbearingly looking at him. -"Yes" - she said solemnly. Before Hagrid could speak what's on his mind, Snape whispered something to her, and she surveyed Harry with her eagle eyes. It was clear to Harry that Snape pointed on him. Harry couldn't wait until she starts torturing him as Snape always does. -"Dumbledore told me that ye' need summat to help ya with yer luggage?" -"No, thanks Hagrid. Severus will help me" - she said, never stopping to survey Harry. -"And what are you children doing here? You should be in your dormitory by now. Five points off Gryffindor because of your wandering after everyone's gone. You know what Weasley, it would benefit Slytherin if you would follow your brothers' example in losing all the Gryffindor points, and putting it into minus" - Snape said hatefully. Ancilla examined Harry one more time before turning around. -"That stupid, slyly, greasy, oily..." -"Ron, it's not nice to say that" - Hermione said, when they were out of the Great Hall, safe distance away from Snape, heading towards their dormitories. -"It's ok when it's about Snape. Or Draco Malfoy. (Oh blessed Quidditch, Harry thought, he will be able to 'kill' Malfoy this year again.)" - Harry said, innocently. -"Our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is really pretty. What is she doing with that slimy git Snape?" - Ron asked, freely. They were climbing the deserted staircase, all by themselves. -"Maybe she is his wife?" - Harry guessed. -"Harry, didn't I say she's pretty? She could have someone perhaps better looking than him" - Ron said, sarcastically. -"Indeed, she does. She is an ex Azkeban Governor. She did that job for very long time. She had two husbands; first one, Calvin Scorge, died by falling down the stairs. Second one she is currently married to is Mathieu Bégayer. He is much better looking than Snape. I mean who isn't." - Hermione was talking breathlessly, climbing the last stair. There few more staircases to be conquered. -"Ok, where are you keeping your cue cards?" - Harry asked. -"Would you be nice and reference all what you told us? What book would it be? 700-page light reading..." - Ron started, sardonically. -"Her biography was in Witch Weekly" - Hermione sighed. They were finally in front of the Fat Lady portrait. -"What's the watchword, Your Majesty, the Prefect?" - Ron asked Hermione. -"Ambulat" - the portrait opened.
Snape helped Ancilla get her large luggage into her chambers. Severus said nothing about all her suitcases. -"Thank you for helping me, Severus" - she said, cordially. -"It's really nothing" - Snape said. He was inclined so he would lower her stuff down on the floor. When he tried to straighten himself up, he couldn't. His back couldn't, and they were aching. He let out a shriek. -"It's really nothing, eh?" - She acerbically approached, and helped him stand up. -"Sit down" - she pulled him on the sofa. She sat behind him, and started massaging his shoulders. -"That feels good" - he said. She smiled. -"Get your shirt off, I wanna do your back" - she said, taking his clothes of him. -"You're hitting on me pretty openly, Ancilla. You're so promiscuous" - he said. She wrestled him to lay on the sofa, his stomach down. -"Shut up. Is it better now? Does it still hurt?" - she said after few minutes. -"It does, a lot" - Snape lied. -"Talk to me. I'm interested to hear everything. We couldn't really have a conversation at the High Table, the Minerva is so nosy and annoying." -"Tell me about it. He hated me a lot when I was her student." - Ancilla commented, astringently. -"She doesn't like you much now, either. You should've hear what she said about you before you came. So what countries did you travel?" -"Mathieu and I started with Africa. So Egypt, Ethiopia, Kenya, Zaire, Sudan, Chad, Libya, Mali, Ivory Coast, and Namibia. Asia came next. Syria, Saudi Arabia, Burma, Bengal, and India. Mathieu and I spent the most of the time in India. Such a picturesque country." - Ancilla was talking as her hands moved down his back. -"Does it still hurt you?" - she prudently asked. -"I don't think it will ever hurt after this, Ancilla" - Snape said, getting up, and dressing himself up.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione descended to the Great Hall next morning. As they were seated at the Gryffindor table, McGonagall was passing around, giving them the timetables. -"Splendid" - Harry snarled under his breath, surveying the timetable. -"Either I'm loosing my sight, or we have a lot of the classes with Slytherins" - Ron said, ungladly. -"Potions, traditionally we have it with the Slytherins; Magical Creatures, Slytherins again; Defence Against the Dark Arts, oh this is something unlike, we also have it with the Slytherins" - Hermione was reading. -"That's only three" - interrupted Seamus who was sitting beside her. -"Only three? Seamus, you're talking about Slytherin. It's enough that we have to be in the same castle with them, now we have three instead of two classes with them" - Ron said. Harry glanced over Slytherin table. Draco was there, talking to few pretty girls; as soon as he noticed Harry staring at him, he send him an enchanting sneer. Harry looked away, briskly. Professor Deitrich caught his eyes. She was chatting with Snape again. He couldn't describe the mysterious appearance she had something esoteric she carried with her. Yet all her face features were distinguished as heinous, but it couldn't be said for her. Her face was of radiant white--Harry could give himself freedom of describing it as fluorescent. Her dark-coloured eyes had the ominous stare at everything. Her this nose, above her heart-shaped lips, and that sharp chin.
Adversity of the fact that his very first class would be Potions was followed by the fact that Snape looked really grim. Well, grimmer than usually. Predictable for Snape to let them wait in front of the dungeon until he summons the left over decency inside him and comes to let them in. Than he begins the ceaseless torture. Harry, Ron, and Hermione waited at the end of the corridor from where Draco was about to emerge from. And so he did, followed by faithful convoys Crabbe and Goyle. When he saw Harry, he suddenly stopped. -"Like my birthday present, Potter?" - Draco sneered, taking a petite snake out of his robe pocket. The thirty centimetres snake was of deep ruby. -"It's not you're birthday, yet?" - Hermione asked, perplexed. Harry and Ron was astonished by the fact that she knows when Draco's birthday is. -"Damn right, Muggle. It's on twenty-seventh September. This, unfortunately non-poisonous snake is bought by my father. It's from Brazil rain forests. What did your father buy you for your birthday, Potter?" - Draco asked cynically, holding the snake carefully petting it. -"Oh sorry Potter, I forgot that your father died" - than he, along with Crabbe and Goyle laughed scornful laugh. It beared a tone of hysteria in it. It was loud, and other people turned around to see what's so funny. But than Snape arrived. -"Such an adorable snake you have there, Draco" - Snape commented as he let everyone in the classroom. -"Thank you sir, it's of obscre vitrae specie (Draco pronounced it as it was French)." -"It's ob-sc-ré vit-rah-e" - Hermione snapped very quietly, only Harry heard. Snape didn't forget to send Harry one of those loathsome stares before he got into the classroom. As everyone was in, he slammed the window, and headed towards the catedra. -"What are you waiting for, hand in the homework" - he snarled. Students rushed over to his table to give him rolls of parchment. -"I hope he won't mind that I've done extra research on Dunstle-Rain flower" - Hermione asked feebly, as they approached Snape's desk. -"What is the Dunstle-Rain flower?" - Ron asked her, flabbergasted. -"It's a plant, Weasley. Proper name for it is Eracuela flouris. It's because the flowers can reach very high." - Draco sneered, giving his roll of the most expensive parchment to Snape. -"Excellent, Malfoy. You just earned five points for your house" - Snape said, accepting Harry's report rigidly. Harry glanced at Snape's face. It seemed like his eye-bags were heavier this morning. Everybody went back to their seats. Harry didn't like the fact that Draco was sitting right beside him. He gently played with his snake. Over the table, Pansy was whining: -"Oh, Draco, you're so brave; snakes are so dangerous." -"This one's poisonous" - he said, boastfully. -"Oooh." And just few moments ago, Draco was telling that the snake wasn't venomous. That reminded Harry on Basilisk. If Draco was a hero for holding a miniature non-poisonous snake, what was Harry for killing the giant diry viper? -"I will begin today's lesson with the review of the homework. Weasley, what's Eracuela flouris?" -"I don't know sir" - Ron said, quietly. Traditionally, Snape didn't notice Hermione's hand, and he called Draco. -"It's a plant, sir. We call it Dunstle-Rain flower." -"Butt kisser" - Harry said quietly to Draco. Draco just arrogantly moved the snake closer to Harry's face. -"Don't you think it's adorable" - Draco asked angelically. -"It's disgusting as much as you are" - Harry told him. That irritated Draco. Draco suddenly punched Harry really hard, in his stomach. With no thinking, Harry punched back. But he punched his head, and Snape happened to see only when Harry was punching Snape's protégé. -"Potter, what kind of behaving is that?" - he flew over to their table. -"He hit me first" - Harry said. He was mad because it was clear that Snape will accept Draco's version of the story. -"He's laying, sir. And he insulted me, also" - Draco said. -"How dare you lie to me, Harry Potter?" - Snape gritted his teeth. -"Everything I hear from you are lies, Potter. Why did you punch Malfoy?" -"Because he's a fucking imbecile" - Harry said. Nay, that wasn't something he should've said. Hermione buried her face in her hands. Ron wanted to cheer for Harry, but it wasn't that prudent. -"Repeat what you just said" - Snape breathed every word he pronounced. -"Because he's a fucking imbecile" - Harry repeated. -"And you're a bastard, by it's real definition" - Draco retorted to him. -"Harry Potter, go to Headmaster's office, immediately, and tell him what have you done" - it seemed as a fair idea to Harry because he knew that Dumbledore will believe him. But Snape kind of realised that Dumbledore favours Harry to much, so he changed. -"No, wait, go to McGonagall's office, and tell her what have you done" - he said in the undertone. Harry angrily headed outside. McGonagall was outraged by how he insulted Draco Malfoy. Harry had to apologise to Draco, and twenty points were abducted of Gryffindor.
Harry didn't really look foreword to Defence Against the Dark Arts class. He assumed that Professor Deitrich would hate him as much as Snape does due to the fact that she spends so much time with him. It was a clear Wednesday morning, and after the breakfast Harry, Ron, and Hermione set of to their Defence Against the Dark Arts class. It was in one of the North Wing turrets. The classroom was dark and commodious. Professor Deitrich wasn't in there yet. Harry, Ron, and Hermione figured out that it would be safe to sit in the seats on the back of the classroom. Few minutes later she came in. -"I'm sorry for being late" - she said negligently, and with wave of her wand all the black curtains over the windows moved, and the classroom was light. -"My name is Professor Deitrich, and I will be your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher" - rigidly she said, eyeing everyone in the room. Neville chickened out of her stare, and looked away. -"I shall do the attendance, now" - she took the attendance clip board without withdrawing her stare from everybody. She was standing, leaning of her catedra desk. She read the names in stiff voice. She paused at Harry Potter. -"Here" - Harry said. -"Harry Potter, the boy who lived" - she headed his way. Beside his table she stood, and gently moved his bangs, and looked at his forehead scar. Harry didn't see the Snapish loath in her eyes. They were opaque. She speechlessly returned to her former position in front of the whole class, continuing to read the attendance. -"I don't care what your previous teachers taught you; I'm here to show you the real magic, the real pain of the deadly curses. For you to see what pain really looks like. "I could all teach you how to perform forgotten Pakistan Curse equivalent to our Imperious Curse, and if you perform it, guess what? Ministry can do nothing to you, because they didn't know that that curse even exists. But why do that? Why would I spill you the enlightened secrets I spend last fifteen years looking for, and teaching myself how to do them? Why would I do that, when I see that more than half of you in here are not even fit for Muggle world with your knowledge, but you are here at Hogwarts, still. Aren't you? "I bet that only few of you are here to learn (Hermione sighed happily on this), but only few of you will ever be able to do this." She gathered her hands in front of her face. Few cryptic words were heard from her, and as she moved her hands away, wind burst out of there, shaking the whole classroom. The pupils all stared in amazement. Than they clapped, each and everyone. Even Draco Malfoy was fascinated. None of them ever saw wandless magic before. -"It took me thirteen years to muster this. And it's just the start of the wandless magic, developed in Syria. This spell has no use in England, only where there are desert terrains. It starts desert storm." She said stiffly. She folded her arms. -"What will we be learning this year?" - she asked, and only few arms raised. Hermione tried her best to stretch her arm as much as possible, and she was called out. -"We will be learning more advanced studies about vampires, basic Dementors doctorine and Patronus, talismans and lucky-charms, and dragons" - she said, briskly. -"What is your name?" - she asked her. -"Hermione Granger" - Hermione said, in clear voice. -"Are you of Muggle parentage?" - she asked sceptically. -"Yes" - Hermione answered. She didn't like Professor Deitrich's face. -"So what are you doing here?" - she asked. -"Pardon me?" - Hermione felt humiliated. -"You should go back to the Muggle world. Muggles know nothing about the magic" - she said sternly. Loud derisive laugh was heard from Draco; few other Slytherins followed him, but not as loudly as he was. Hermione's eyes filled with tears, and she buried her head in her arms, crying. No one ever insulted her like that in her life, well maybe Snape when in fourth year Draco enlarged her teeth, and Snape said he sees no difference. -"She's is just plain same as Snape" - Ron snapped angrily at Harry. -"At least she doesn't hate me at much as Snape does" - Harry replied. Ron wanted to tell her off, but Hermione begged him not to. -"Your first lessons today will be: the Vampires. Define Vampire for me?" - she asked. She sassily looked over to Hermione, waiting for her to raise her arm, but she didn't. -"Yes, Malfoy" - she said. Harry didn't bother to care how did she already knew who Draco is. He figured it out that Muggle-hating scums affiliate with other Muggle-hating scums. -"Vampires, or the undead, are the preternatural creatures who need human blood to survive. They are found in the forests and ruins of Balkan and some of the Eastern Europe, especially the Carpathian Transylvania of Romania." - Draco said in the angelic voice. He was a Pureblood. -"Excellent Malfoy. Five points for Slytherin. Longbottom, how do you kill a vampire?" - she moved to Neville. Harry had it clear -- she is just Snape's reincarnation; she picks on everyone Snape does. -"You stake him in his heart" - Neville said feebly. Harry was waiting for him to brakes down and starts crying. -"That's wrong; just like Count Dracula, that's a fiction. Dracula (Dra-koo-lya) was Romanian Emperor, during the Turkish occupation on the Balkan. He was just an ordinary Muggle, but extraordinary person to learn about. His nickname was Vlad the Impeller, because he used to impale people, and dip bread into their blood. During the Battle of Cassova (today's Kosovo), of 1389, his forces battled on Serbian side. It was guaranteed defeat to them, because the Serbian nobility and oligarchy betrayed their country and went on Turkish side. "So what are the ways to kill a vampire, Longbottom?" - she asked again. -"Expose him to light" - Neville answered infirmly. -"Good, two points for Gryffindor." - Neville's face illuminated. He didn't earn points often. -"Harry Potter, how does a vampire differ from a normal man?" - she curtly turned to Harry. Her eyes were inquiring for the answer. -"Their skin is ashen white; you can see all the veins and arteries in their body; their canine teeth are longer and sharper; they are of incredible strength; and they suck people's blood" - Harry finished. -"Perfectly. Five points for Gryffindor" - she said. Well that is the difference, Harry though. Snape never ever gave him any points. Even when he gave it to Gryffindor, that was to Seamus who he seemed to hate least from that house. -"I have something to add, Miss" - Draco raised his hand. -"It's Mrs, not Miss. Go ahead" - she said, beckoning Draco to go. -"Vampires detest Pureblood, so the gentry is safe" - Draco said, looking particularly at Hermione. She still had her head in her arms. -"That's even more precise, Malfoy. Twenty points for Slytherin" - she said. For the rest of the class, she was asking question, and giving out more points. Harry noticed the fact that she is normal to him. She didn't show any sign of hatred towards him. But she continued, with help of few Slytherins with Draco Malfoy on as the leader, the people of Muggle parentage. Another thing Harry just couldn't miss was how Draco nice was. He was a tiny clement angel when he spoke to her, following her with his eyes where ever she went. Harry didn't mention this to anyone.
Hermione abhorred even the mentioning of 'Professor Deitrich'. Professor McGonagall quite agreed with her. The Defence Against the Dark Arts class was right before the Transfiguration lesson. Professor McGonagall would always criticise Ancilla's teachings, as Hermione showed her what they learnt today. Harry didn't found her Muggle putting down's amusing, neither did Ron. Au contraire, Draco was captivated by it. One day, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting in the corner of the homeroom, doing the homework. -"Anything interesting in the Daily Prophet?" - Ron asked Harry, carelessly reading a Potions lessons Snape assigned them to read. -"Voldemort killed more people. All of them were Muggles, of a small Belgian town" - Harry sighed, throwing the paper on the table. It was Hermione's newspaper, she was subscribed to it for a very long time already. -"Muggles... killed" - Hermione growled angrily, not stopping to write her homework. -"You're really getting hurt by Prof Deitrich's taunting, Hermione?" - Ron asked. -"Must - do - the - homework - and - show - her - Muggle-borns - are - just - as - smart as - the - Pureblood - snobs" - Hermione said, not raising her head from the essay she was writing. -"Of course she is; on the other hand, Draco Malfoy seems extremely fond of her" - Harry said. He was puzzled how no one else could see that. -"No, he isn't!" - Hermione snarled, at last looking up to Harry and Ron. -"Come down, Hermione. Who cares about Draco?" - Ron asked. -"No one" - Hermione said quietly, and returned on writing the essay.
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"Down in the cellar You're getting into making poison. You slipped some on the side, Into my glass of wine, And I don't' want any coffee homeground."
Kate Bush (Lionheart), Coffee Homeground
Postscriptum:
Coffee is good for you. It helps you stay awake and sane. My favourite one if plain Brazilian coffee, with very little sugar, and a lot of milk.
I was always having problems in making up those 'weird' names when I'm writing Harry Potter fanfiction. But I dare to share one of my personal tip with you. Use dictionary and maps. Like JKR got Snape from a map. It's a village in UK. Just take French, German, Latin, or any other language and use the words that you find appropriate to be that person's name.
