The Greatest Gift

Chapter Three; Do You Dare?

~The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow upon him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?

Lavatin

On the morning of the twenty-second, Remus did all he could to avoid Sirius. It wasn't to do with the spell exactly; it was more to do with preventing Sirius from doing something stupid.

He's mad, Remus though firmly. No, he's beyond mad, he's insane! What is he thinking?

Hiding in the Shrieking Shack probably wasn't the best idea but he was sure that Sirius wouldn't think that Remus would come down here. Not before the full moon anyway.

The young werewolf wandered the abandoned house. Built solely for his use, it was enforced with Unbreakable Charms on the windows and the front door was actually a solid wall just pretending. Secure and inescapable. To keep others safe from him.

It was a prison, a cage. Nothing more.

Remus shivered, yet he wasn't cold.

What Sirius had shown him, scared him. But it was also tempting. Very tempting. Maybe that was why it scared him. To be rid of the curse, if only for a short while, was a wonderful thought.

But did Sirius fully understand the implications of the spell? If … if the spell worked … Sirius would become like him … a werewolf.

He couldn't do it! He refused to put one of his best friends through such an ordeal! None of them knew how painful the change was, what it was like to surrender your human conscience to the savage inner animal, the irresistible urge to hunt and to kill.

Many people were unaware that while in wolf form, the human mind is still active, still aware of what its wolf form is doing. But it is completely powerless to take control. Once the change back to human form has occurred, some memories fade quickly as dreams while others, normally those concerning hunting, were retained in their entirety. They haunted his nightmares almost every single night.

No, I can't – won't – do it Remus thought firmly. His heart's in the right place, his brain on the other hand …

But Sirius wasn't exactly one for making rash decisions. When they'd come up with the Animagus Project, Sirius was the one pointing out the main problems before they'd even begun, namely; you could not pick and choose what you wanted to transform into on the actual change. It wouldn't matter if they succeeded, because if they ended up turning into fish or tiny insects, the whole project would have failed.

But they went ahead, took that chance and it paid off.

And now Sirius wanted to take another chance. To go through the lycanthrope metamorphosis in Remus' place. In exchange for his lycanthropy, Remus would be granted Sirius' Animagus ability.

It was a completely selfless act on Sirius' part.

So does that make me ungrateful to refuse it? Remus wondered. He wants to do this – for me. But how can I agree to put him through it?

He knows the risks.

I can be human for a while.

Do I dare?

*

Sirius sat in the Great Hall eating with James, Lily and Peter. While they talked, Sirius kept looking around, hoping that Remus would show up.

He hadn't seen him all day. And no one else had seen him either.

'Padfoot?'

'Hmm?'

Prongs was eyeing him with a concerned look on his face.

'You okay?'

'Yeah.'

'Sure? You've been on a verbal strike for the past ten minutes, what gives?'

Sirius shrugged, pushing his food aimlessly around on his plate, hardly paying attention to the odd looks Lily and Wormtail were giving him.

'Any of you seen Remus lately?' he asked.

'You asked me that half an hour ago,' said Lily. 'He's probably in the library. You know what he's like – head in a book and he's lost to the world.'

James leaned forward.

'Did you two have an argument or something?'

'What? No, I just … do you have any idea what I can get him for Christmas?'

James looked shocked.

'You still haven't found anything?'

'Hey, I found a great present for him!' Sirius protested. 'Only – it's … kinda …'

'Expensive?' Wormtail suggested between bites of chicken.

'You might say that.'

Flump.

Remus' Barred owl, Tally, landed in front of Sirius, holding a roll of parchment out to him.

Padfoot,

Can I talk to you? I'm in the Owlery. Send Tally back with your answer.

Moony.

Flipping the parchment over before the others could read it, Sirius scrawled.

Sure. I'll be right up.

*

Sirius and Remus stayed in the Owlery until gone eleven, going over the spell in great detail. The most important element was that their souls had to be compatible in order for the transition to succeed. Sirius figured that since they both had canine forms, it made them a perfect match. Remus was a little dubious about that logic, but he couldn't be picky.

It was his chance to be human.

Obviously the spell wasn't permanent. Once cast, the spell would be active for exactly three days, so they decided to try it out on the stroke of midnight tomorrow, the twenty-third. That would give Remus Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day to be completely human for the first time in eleven years. Or he could become a dog should he wish to do so.

They decided to perform the spell at the top of the Astronomy Tower. With any luck avoiding the ghosts, Peeves in particular, and more importantly; Filch. Sirius would have asked Prongs if he could borrow the Invisibility Cloak but then Prongs would want to know why. Both of them had agreed not to mention anything to the others, just in case the spell didn't work after all.

They didn't need the hassle.

*

That night Sirius dreamt that he was in the Shrieking Shack, all alone but for a raven with misty white eyes. Through the boarded up windows he could feel the full moon rise. But he didn't change. Or rather he didn't change physically. Suddenly he was compelled, irresistibly so, to kill. The bird, cawing at him, floated on the air, mocking him.

Sirius lunged!

But the raven was gone.

It was Remus.

Unable to stop, Sirius landed on top of his friend and sunk his teeth and claws into the soft human flesh –

Sirius jerked awake, sweating and shaking. Falling back on the cool pillows, he gave himself a mental slap.

'It's only a dream … it doesn't mean anything …'

On the other side of the dormitory, Remus also dreamed.

*

The full moon was up. And he didn't change. He stood by the lake, examining his reflection closely. It showed a human boy with light brown hair and blue-grey eyes. Healthy and unchanging. His reflection smiled.

Then Sirius' reflection appeared beside his own. Human for the briefest second before the wolf within forced its way out of him. The mirror image screamed silently in agony and Remus felt it too. He wasn't changing but he could still feel the pain.

Clutching his sides, he tore his eyes from the lake surface and found himself in the Shrieking Shack, Sirius before him. Transforming slowly. Too slowly. It wasn't supposed to take this long! He stepped forward to help him. Fast as blinking, a huge wolf stood in Sirius' place. Still in pain.

Ignorant of the human boy standing there, the wolf proceeded to attack itself. Clawing, biting and scratching. Each wound, Remus felt as though it were being inflicted upon him! Yet every time he tried to stop him from hurting himself, Sirius would attack more viciously! Bright red blood began to flow, a growing river on the floor –

Remus wasn't sure if it was Sirius' pain or his own that woke him.

Neither boy slept much that night.

*

To Be Continued …

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Authors notes

Oh wow! *stares at reviews* I have to say I really appreciate what you guys have written about this! I'm very proud of it so far and hope it meets your expectations!

Barmybeth, I'm sorry but I don't think I can stretch this into 20 chapters! I've eight planned and written out, ready to post. (With the exception of chapter seven which I am in the process of re-writing.) ;)

Elena ".", You're making me blush! I'm very glad you like my interpretation of Sirius, I tried my best since he is one of my favourites!

I would write out thanks for each and every one of you but then I'd be sitting here forever writing them all out. So I think it'll be easier if I just say THANK YOU!!! ;D

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(Chapter Four will be up on Friday!)