PILOT NUMBER FIVE

by Rabidus Femina (RF)

Disclaimer: I don't own Wufei, but if I did, I'd probably make him do something like this to embarrass a Wu-fan friend of mine. Ever the history buff, I give credit where credit is due. I was inspired by the many Mambo Number Five parodies in the GW fandom. You all know who you are! 'Mambo Number Five' is owned by Lou Bega.



Ladies and gentleman--

This is Pilot Number Five!

::Wufei walks out on stage, pale::

One, two, three, four, five

Everybody in the war, so come on let's fight

For the peace in store just 'round the corner

The boys said they'll fight to the end

But I really don't wanna

Get in a battle like I did last week

I must stay Me

Coz talk is cheap

I like Justice, valor, combat, and victory

And as they continue

You know they gettin' sweeter

::Wufei smirks and twirls::

So what can I do

I really Thank you, my Lord

To me fighting is just like a sport

Anything fly, it's all good

Let me jump in

And send in the trumpet

::Wufei cues trumpet::

Chorus

A little bit of Nataku, in my life

::Wufei twerks his hips, glaring off-stage::

A little bit of Sally, by my side

::Wufei sways from side to side::

A little bit of Treize, all I need

::Wufei looks a bit uneasy like 'Was this is the script?'::

A little bit of Zechs, is what I seek

::Wufei: To kill, that is.::

A little bit of Heero, in the sun

::Wufei looks increasingly ill::

A little bit of Trowa, all night long

::Wufei staggers::

A little bit of Quatre, here I am

::Wufei: I think I've got a fic-writer to kill.::

A little bit of YOU makes me a man

::Wufei: *snorts, laughing*::

Pilot Number Five

Jump up and down

And move it all around

::Wufei jumps around on stage::

Move your weapon to the sound

::Wufei brings his knee up::

Push your rival to the ground

::Wufei takes a step forward::

Take one jump left

::Does so::

And one kick right

::And that::

One to the front

::Also does that::

And one to the side

::And that, too::

Clap your hands once

::see above::

And punch your hands twice

::that too::

And if it looks like this

::Wufei repeats above::

Then you're doing it right!

Chorus

Trumpet, the trumpet

Pilot Number Five

Ha, ha, ha

::Wufei laughs::

Chorus

I'd do all to

Win against a girl like you

Coz you can't run

And you can't hide

::Wufei raises eyebrow::

Confuse me with 02 and you'll hit the sky

::Growls::

Pilot Number Five

::Wufei bows and quickly exits the stage, grabs his teddy bear (blackmail), and leaves::

Wufei: Are you happy, writer-girl?

RF: ::gasping through laughter:: Yup!

To all Wufei fans: I am a Wufei fan. I just think the fact that Wufei is paired up with anything on two legs (gundams non-withstanding) just because the poor fellow is the fifth pilot and therefore the odd-man-out in the pairing game. Poor Fei-chan. I'm pretty sure I'm scarred him for life.. ::shrugs:: Please leave your comments, flames, or praise. I'm a budding fic-writer, and I'd love for any 'veterans' to give me a few pointers!^^