John and Monica, Mulder and Me
By: Olivia
"So we grew together,/Like to a double cherry, seeming parted,/But yet a union in partition;/Two lovely berries molded on one stem."-William Shakespeare-"A Midsummer Night's Dream"
Watching John and Monica fight in the autopsy bay on their first official case together made me sad. They reminded me of Mulder and myself-skeptic and believer. Quite a pair we made working on the X-Files. And quite a pair they make.
I guess I feel closer to John than I do to Monica. Mainly that's due to the fact that I was partnered with him while Mulder was missing and for a little longer after that. But also because I too am a skeptic by nature. I understand him. I see myself in him. I know what he's afraid of. He's afraid to believe. I hope he can get passed that as I have. People like John and me; we need people like Mulder and Monica.
Monica is aware, as I am, that John's feelings for me run a little deeper than the friendship that comes with being partnered with someone whom you come to depend on to watch your back. Quite frankly, I'm flattered. And if my heart didn't lie elsewhere... But my heart does lie elsewhere. John knows it, I know it, Monica knows it. Probably the whole Bureau knows it. John would never make a move. He's too good a friend.
I know John respects and likes Mulder and at the same time he continually measures himself against him. It's easy to see why. Mulder took the fall so that John could run the X-Files. He passed him his legacy and John doesn't quite know what to do with it yet. But John knew he needed help, that he couldn't work these cases alone. He asked Monica to join him as his partner on the X-Files.
Like may attract like, but so do opposites. We need our opposites. They complement the other part of ourselves that we are missing. John and Monica, Mulder and me. John is as good a man as Mulder and yet my heart will always yearn for Mulder.
Maybe someday John will see Monica the way she sees him. Maybe someday he'll fully realize what a wonderful person she is. I can tell with each passing day, she is growing fonder of the tough ex-Brooklyn cop. She senses the heart that beats beneath his hard exterior. As good of an Agent as John is, he doesn't see clearly what is written in Monica's face, but I do. She loves him.
Monica is happy to be working with John. This is her dream job-to be working with John on the X-Files. She is a believer and for the first time she is working cases that prove and challenge her beliefs. And just like Mulder, she openly embraces these cases and the theories that go along with it. The same excitement that I would see in Mulder's eyes when we were on cases together is the same excitement I see in her eyes.
But why did I, a skeptic stay with the X-Files for so long? As challenging and exciting for me as a scientist as these cases are, there were a million reasons to leave. At the very heart of my staying was Mulder. The X-Files was where he was and I didn't want to be anywhere he was not.
But John isn't a scientist. He's not a believer. Why does he stay? Certainly not for me?
By: Olivia
"So we grew together,/Like to a double cherry, seeming parted,/But yet a union in partition;/Two lovely berries molded on one stem."-William Shakespeare-"A Midsummer Night's Dream"
Watching John and Monica fight in the autopsy bay on their first official case together made me sad. They reminded me of Mulder and myself-skeptic and believer. Quite a pair we made working on the X-Files. And quite a pair they make.
I guess I feel closer to John than I do to Monica. Mainly that's due to the fact that I was partnered with him while Mulder was missing and for a little longer after that. But also because I too am a skeptic by nature. I understand him. I see myself in him. I know what he's afraid of. He's afraid to believe. I hope he can get passed that as I have. People like John and me; we need people like Mulder and Monica.
Monica is aware, as I am, that John's feelings for me run a little deeper than the friendship that comes with being partnered with someone whom you come to depend on to watch your back. Quite frankly, I'm flattered. And if my heart didn't lie elsewhere... But my heart does lie elsewhere. John knows it, I know it, Monica knows it. Probably the whole Bureau knows it. John would never make a move. He's too good a friend.
I know John respects and likes Mulder and at the same time he continually measures himself against him. It's easy to see why. Mulder took the fall so that John could run the X-Files. He passed him his legacy and John doesn't quite know what to do with it yet. But John knew he needed help, that he couldn't work these cases alone. He asked Monica to join him as his partner on the X-Files.
Like may attract like, but so do opposites. We need our opposites. They complement the other part of ourselves that we are missing. John and Monica, Mulder and me. John is as good a man as Mulder and yet my heart will always yearn for Mulder.
Maybe someday John will see Monica the way she sees him. Maybe someday he'll fully realize what a wonderful person she is. I can tell with each passing day, she is growing fonder of the tough ex-Brooklyn cop. She senses the heart that beats beneath his hard exterior. As good of an Agent as John is, he doesn't see clearly what is written in Monica's face, but I do. She loves him.
Monica is happy to be working with John. This is her dream job-to be working with John on the X-Files. She is a believer and for the first time she is working cases that prove and challenge her beliefs. And just like Mulder, she openly embraces these cases and the theories that go along with it. The same excitement that I would see in Mulder's eyes when we were on cases together is the same excitement I see in her eyes.
But why did I, a skeptic stay with the X-Files for so long? As challenging and exciting for me as a scientist as these cases are, there were a million reasons to leave. At the very heart of my staying was Mulder. The X-Files was where he was and I didn't want to be anywhere he was not.
But John isn't a scientist. He's not a believer. Why does he stay? Certainly not for me?
