Heero stared, dumbfounded, at the bag of flour and containers of sugar and pink frosting in front of him, eyes wide and mouth open. Standing grumpily beside him was Wufei, with steam practically shooting of his ears when he learned that for his first assignment, he and Heero would be making a very girly sugar cake, complete with pink icing and little red flower frosting on the side. The two G-boys stood next to each other in front of the counter, decked out in identical frilly pink aprons with lacy edges and poofy white chef's hats. I'm The Chef, So Kiss Me! was scrawled in red Magic Marker across Heero's pink apron, while Wufei's coyly sported Come And Get It, Boys!
"Now, the gist of this whole thing is simple," Mrs. Bundy was saying in the front of the room. "You kids make all this food, and try not to blow up the kitchen while you're at it. Then, I'll take all the food home and give it a grade, before checking it for poison and then eating all of it. Got it? Good." And then the Home Ec. teacher promptly settled into a chair, watching Oprah on her tiny handheld television.

The rest of the class quickly got to work, and the sounds of chopping, mixing, slicing, and dicing resounded loudly against the walls of the Home Ec. class. The only duo that wasn't working was Heero and Wufei--the former had apparently gone into shock when Mrs. Bundy thrust a mixing spoon into his hand, the latter still fuming and grumbling about having to become a weak, womanly housewife. Meanwhile, over in the next cubicle, two girls were frantically mixing batter for cookies, and as one of them churned a large chunk of icky, gooey batter went flying through the air, and landed with a squishy splat right in Heero's hair.
"My hair! Omae o korosu!"
That was all that Heero needed to snap him out of his pre-cooking-induced daze, as the former gundam pilot prepared to chase after the hapless girls. Several gunshots rang out, none of which hit their target due to the fact that the batter in Heero's hair was clouding his normally better than perfect vision, and several of the Home Ec. students leaned back in shock as one's lemon meringue pie blew up in his face while another's roast lamb, fresh out of the oven, was set violently aflame. Meanwhile, Wufei, who was already blue in the face from ranting so much without pausing to take a breath, promptly passed out cold from lack of oxygen.

Twenty minutes and several 911 calls later, Heero and Wufei, heavily sedated, were happily back at their cubicle, making a complete mess of the kitchen. Not that Mrs. Bundy could have cared less, seeing as she was still concentrating on Oprah.

"I love you, you love me," Heero and Wufei chorused together, unaware of what they were doing due to their tranquilizer high. Skipping around in pink and lace, the two boys threw into a giant mixing bowl whatever they could get their hands on, which included, amongst others, egg shells, hardened chewing gum stuck under the sink, pink icing, sour milk left over from last year's Home Ec. class, and even a, um, 'moist towelette', as Duo would put it. Keep in mind that all this was happening while Heero and Wufei were happily quoting songs composed by none other than the wise, the great, the legendary...Barney the purple stuffed dinosaur!
"I feel pretty, so very pretty," Heero and Wufei trilled out, having switched from Barney to Broadway as they dumped unpeeled grapes into their mixture, while the other students openly gawked at them and began to slowly inch away from their workstation.


"So, Wufei, like, what's the next step for baking our totally awesome sugar cake?" Heero shrilled nasally in a high-pitched valley boy voice.
"Oh, like, it says here to bake the totally awesome sugar cake at four hundred degrees for one hour," Wufei sang back, looking like he might just burst into giggles at any given second.
"That is, like, so totally unnecessary," Heero pouted. "I, like, have a totally awesome idea."
"I'm sure you, like, totally do," Wufei tee heed out, dancing around and unwittingly doing the grind, while the other students (particularly the female ones) stared in openmouthed shock. Heero, meanwhile, grinning like a valley boy idiot, giggled out, "Why don't we just totally reduce the time by, like, half, and bake the totally awesome sugar cake at eight hundred degrees for, like, half an hour?"
"That is, like, so totally an awesome idea," Wufei trilled, as he adjusted the oven settings. Tapping his chin, the Chinese boy leaned back thoughtfully and mused, "Hmm...what to do in the meantime while we wait for this, like, totally awesome sugar cake to bake?"
Heero got a maniacal grin on his face as he turned to Wufei and sang out, "Oh, I know what to do." Wufei got an equally psychotic grin, before the two of them burst into a stunning rendition of Summer Lovin'.

Twenty-five minutes later, Heero and Wufei paused suddenly in the screeching butchering of what was already a cheesy song in Wind Beneath My Wings, as their sedative-induced high wore off. The duo froze dead in their tracks, and gaped openmouthed at their frilly pink aprons and poofy white chef's hats, then turned to stare at each other. Flushed and uncomfortable, Heero and Wufei coughed and cleared their throats longer than necessary, before reaching a mutual agreement that they would never, eeeeever (not to quote Mr. Jericho, or anything) talk about this particular incident again.
"So...what exactly do you think we did while we were, you know," Wufei mumbled, scuffing his shoe in the linoleum tiles.
"While we were knocked up on sedatives?" Heero finished for him. Wufei nodded, and the two struggled to remember. However, it wasn't too long before they remembered, and as twin expressions of horror graced the two G-boys' faces, the oven, which had already been dangerously on the edge of bursting, promptly let out a high-pitched whistle and exploded.

BOOM!
Cough, cough, sputter, sputter, whine about injustice. Heero and Wufei, their faces streaked with soot and gloppy cake batter, blinked in the dust and debris, before realizing that they'd literally blown the roof off the room. Around them, the other students were gaping in shock at the two newcomers--they seemed to be doing that a lot lately--all covered with exploded cake batter and black smoke to a certain degree. At the head of the classroom, Mrs. Bundy, her poofy red hair streaked with black soot and gooey batter, continued to watch Oprah, unaware that anything had happened.


Heero and Wufei, still sporting their pink, lacy aprons which read, I'm The Chef, So Kiss Me! and Come And Get It, Boys!, respectively, headed off into the men's room to get cleaned up. They came to a stop in front of the first restroom they spotted, which had numerous colorful graffiti sprayed on its door, amongst which Le Hetero Jock's Corner O' Pissing was scrawled boldly across the front in red and black. The duo shrugged, before pushing their way into the men's room, not thinking twice of the rather, erm, suggestive messages printed across their frilly pink aprons, ready to wash up. Fifteen seconds later, they were promptly chased out of the restroom by a hoard of furious, sneering football players, wondering why exactly the jocks were so mad at them. Heero and Wufei gave dual sighs as they ran from the sneering football jocks. First day of school, and they had already succeeded in blowing up the Home Ec. class, turn cooking into a very badly-sung musical, and get chased around by beefed-up football guys. Oh, hell yeah, their school year was off to a great start.