Ah, lunch time. As soon as the school clock dutifully struck noon each day, a collective sigh of relief from the student body could always be heard ringing across the hallways. And with good reason to. As things stood, the first G-boy to make his way to the cafeteria was none other than Heero. He stumbled out of Mr. J. Tribiani's Sex Education classroom, looking dazed and confused, and with one of Duo's, um, 'moist towelettes' sticking to his hair. Ignoring the snickers of the other students as they pointed at his hair and giggled, Heero dazedly tottered over to the lunch line, grabbed a tray filled to the brim with unappetizing fish sticks, soggy lima beans, and overcooked tater tots, and tripped his way toward the nearest table, scaring the blonde, over-lipsticked cheerleaders out of their seats with one good glare. Heero absently pulled the, um, 'moist towelette' out of his hair as he munched on a fish stick.

The next G-boy to stumble into the cafeteria was Quatre--or rather, Quatre and his neck brace, thanks to Coach Angle with the sledgehammer that he'd borrowed from Mr. Helmsley. Quatre and his neck brace had come from the direction of Mr. Mulder's Science and Logic classroom, and wore a bizarre, brainwashed look in his wide blue-green eyes as he slumped down across from Heero.
"The truth is out there," Quatre whispered ominously. Heero arched an eyebrow.
"The truth is out there," Quatre repeated conspiratorially. "The truth is out there...the truth is out there...the truth is out there..."
His fish sticks were untouched.

Third up was Wufei, who bolted out of Ms. Geller's Sewing classroom, wailing like a madman and screaming something about being subjected to cutting up women's lingerie and filling them with potpourri.
"Wait! I still have to teach you how to fold up your new pink satin boxers the most efficient way!" Ms. Geller's high-pitched voice called out after Wufei's flailing figure.
"Wah!" Came Wufei's prompt respond, as he continued to run around in circles around the G-boys' table.

Trowa's subsequent entrance wasn't much quieter than Wufei's, as the poor guy stumbled dizzily out of Ms. McMahon's Song and Music Classroom, looking dangerously on the edge of passing out. Before he slammed the door shut, the distinct sounds of Wind Beneath My Wings could be heard being screeched out from Ms. McMahon's room, and both Heero and Wufei had to wince as it reminded the two of them of their little musical during Home Ec. Trowa tottered and tripped his way clumsily over to the G-boys' table, before collapsing on a chair next to Quatre, barely avoiding smashing his face into the tartar sauce.

Last to arrive was Duo, who'd gotten his change jammed in the vending machine when trying to get a bag of Cheetos after Mr. Austin's exhilarating Classical English course. Duo hopped and scrambled his way over to the table, weighed down with books, binders, and about half a dozen bags of Cheetos.
"Yay, I love lunch!" Duo squealed. His face scrunched up, as he struggled to remember something from Mr. Austin's lesson. "Oh, yeah! My name is Duo Maxwell! What? I said my name is Duo Maxwell! What? What?! I love lunch! What? I said I love lunch! What?"
"Duo, would you please SHUT THE HELL UP?!"
Hmm, it looked like Mr. Jericho had had more influence over Trowa than both of them had realized, as Trowa mumbled something about how if Duo were a girl, he'd make fun of 'her' breast implants.

The G-boys ate in relative silence for a while, their faces expressing various degrees of disgust as they tasted the fish sticks and lima beans (although Duo seemed to have taken a liking to the tater tots), with Quatre mumbling, "The truth is out there," continuously to himself and Duo ranting, "What?" every other second. Finally, after a few minutes, Duo got bored of the silence and broke it by asking, "So, what're your afternoon classes? What? I said what are your afternoon classes?" Heero, Trowa, and Wufei occupied themselves by shooting murderous death glares at Duo, and thus Quatre took it upon himself to examine their schedules. His brows furrowed in interest, as he read each G-boy's schedule silently to himself, then began the unpleasant task of informing Heero, Trowa, and Wufei of their classes.
"Hmm...Heero, it looks like you have Fashion and Clothing with Ms. R. Green," Quatre spoke up in a tiny voice. Heero's eyes bugged out upon hearing those words.
"Minna o korosu!" the former pilot of Wing Zero jumped up and screamed. Quatre winced, absently rubbing his ear--despite the difficulty of doing so with the neck brace obstructing the way--before mumbling, "Um, Wufei, it looks like you're going to Ballet with Ms. Solomon after lunch."
Wufei promptly stopped running around in circles and ranting about women's lingerie and potpourri at hearing that.
"KISAMAAAAA!!!" the Chinese lunatic--um, I mean, Chinese ex-pilot--screamed at the top of his lungs, before desperately grabbing the lima beans on his tray and attempting to build a noose out of them in an effort to die an honorable death rather than to have his manliness challenged by prancing around in a bright pink tutu. Quatre's eyes brightened as he skimmed down Trowa's schedule.
"Hey, look, Trowa. It seems as if the administration made a mistake with your schedule, and now they're making you take Song and Music twice! But don't worry. I have the same class with you, and after lunch, we'll go to Song and Music class, taught by Mr. Christian," he chirped brightly. Finally, a class with somebody he knew! Trowa, unfortunately, didn't take the news as well as Quatre did, as his eyes rolled back into his head for the second time that day, and he fainted dead away.


"...And in local news, the prestigious Infinity Academy in Greenwich, Connecticut, was mysteriously burned down to the ground last night. So far, witness descriptions vary, but they all agree on one thing: the culprit was a trio of males, possibly students at the elite private school, and one of them was described as having a peculiar hairstyle. Connecticut authorities are working around the clock to capture the party held responsible for this arson, but there is very little--if any--evidence left after the fire. In lighter news, singing sensation Whitney Lears is set to marry long-time sweetheart Dustin T. Lake..."
Quatre switched off the television set from his seat in the private Winner Family space shuttle, and sank back into a sea of soft leather with a content smile on his face. In the seat across from him, Duo was stuffing gooey, cheesy nachos into his mouth, engrossed in the newest shoot-'em-up flick playing on the monitor in front of him. In the back of the shuttle, Wufei's distinct voice could be heard ranting about how the Barton weakling should have just chopped off his hair before the 'mission', while Trowa could be heard repeatedly screeching out, "Junior, would you please SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" while Heero was mumbling to the air around him, "Hey...how you doin'?"


~ The End ~