Untitled: The Second Soapy Chapter
by Jigglypuff
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Jigglypuff appears all of a sudden and proceeds to read the author's note out of nowhere.

Jigglypuff:Zelda is copyright 2001 Nintendo. Happy Holidays from all of us here at Jigglypuff's Fanfics/Site. Thank you. Have a merry Christmas, everybody.

Jigglypuff teleports to his master room, where he watches over the people that are going to come in and make something random out of it. Saria appears next to him.

Saria:More juice?

Jigglypuff:Thank you. (takes a glass filled with nothing, pushes a button, and it magically fills with root beer)

Saria:I think I'll have the same. (does an identical process)

Link and Malon enter the room.

Link: So, you wanna snuggle up and watch something?

Malon:Sure. Something from the past ten years...

Link:I know!

*Link "flips" the 'invisible' TV over to the OJ Simpson trial.*

Jigglypuff: No offense.

Link:Cool. The guy's just standing there.

Malon:Defin'tly.

Ganon and Impa enter the room and go to the couch also.

Ganon:Ooh! OJ Simpson!

Impa: I love him! Not as much as I love you though...Let's get some privacy, then pop some popcorn, then come back here. It's a 21 day trial, I think. CNN has it covered, and Linky has it taped!

*Ganon and Impa leave the room*

Link:Huh?

Malon:What?

Mido enters the room with a dishwasher.

Mido:Come here boy! That's it!

Strangely, the dishwasher obeys like a dog.

Mido:Now....WASH!

The dishwasher washes.

Mido:DRY!

The dishwasher dries.

Mido:OPEN...*smirk*...SESAME!

The dishwasher opens to reveal....clothes?

Mido:That's it boy! Eew, the clothes are all retaded all of a sudden...I'M CALLING MY LAWYER!

*Mido leaves while getting out a cell phone which strangely dials by itself.

Link:What?

Malon:Huh?

Link:Hey Malon...?

Malon:Yeah?

Link: I hate to break it to you...

*Link takes off a MASK?!?!?!*

Malon:EWW! GROSS!

In the mask's place is a boy with blond hair and loads of acne.

Malon:Why didn't you tell me, Link?

Link:*freakyish voice* I AM NOT LINK. I AM A BOY FROM THE PAST WHO HAS COME TO LOVE YOU. LET ME GO HAVE-

Malon:EWW!

*Malon gets away from the imitation Link*

Link:COME ON...COME TO MY SHINDIG AND LET'S PARTY!!!

Malon:NO....NO!!! THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM!!!

*Malon wakes up all of a sudden. She finds herself sitting next to Link - and appeared to have slept during the really 'fascinating' trial.*

Malon:Phew....................

Link turns around....AND IT'S THE SAME FACE!

Link:FWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Malon:AAGH! SO IT IS REAL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link:COME OVER HERE......

Link stretches his arms toward Malon and grabs her.

Malon:NOO!!

Link:WAKE UP MALON...IT'S ME!!!!!! FWAHAHAHA!

*Malon wakes up from another dream. Could this be reality? Link is grabbing her...with the right face.*

Link:Yes! Malon - you've woken up! Ganon and Impa are here, and they've got popcorn!

Ganon and Impa wave and reaches for a handful of pens. They eat them.

Ganon:MMM...Ink-like taste...but still buttery.....

Impa:Yes my dear....yes...

Ganon and Impa kiss.

Link:Isn't this romantic? Now we need some privacy...

Link snaps his fingers, and Ganon and Impa vanishes. The pens are gone, and so is the room. All there is...is darkness.

Link:Now....piece de resistance....

Malon:Don't tell me...

Link pulls off a mask and then reveals.....ARNOLD SHWARTZENEGGER!

Jigglypuff:Sorry if I spelled that wrong as well.

Arnold:Come to be, baby!

Malon:NO!

Arnold takes out a Glock-47 gun and shoots it at Malon-

Arnold:Hasta la vista, bebe. Bye!

*Malon wakes up in reality.*

Malon:OK Link....I ate too much Sweet 'N Low last night....

Link(pulls off mask to reveal old man): WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

And so it goes...on and on....Malon trapped in dreams of a third kind...while Link tries to awaken Malon.

End report and visualization.

The End