The Chasers' Song

A filk by The Hermione Granger Fan Club sung to the tune of 'Bootylicious' by Destiny's Child. I don't own 'Bootylicious' so BACK OFF!

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The Chasers stand up at the Gryffindor party to celebrate winning the House Cup in PoA. Angelina yells, "And five, six, seven, eight!" Katie pulls out a Quaffle and they throw it around whilst singing.

ANGELINA AND KATIE: "Alicia, can you score goals with this?"

She catches it and throws it to Angelina, who spins it on her finger like a basketball.

KATIE AND ALICIA: "Angelina, can you score goals with this?"

Angelina heads the ball to Alicia, who drops kicks it to Katie- these three's be fabulous football (I mean what most people call soccer) players!

ALICIA AND ANGELINA: "Katie, can you score goals with this?"

They turn to the cheering, whooping crowd of Gryffindors.

ALL THREE: "Like hell we can score goals with this!"

ALICIA (with a quite good voice): "Stupid Slytherins try to foul!"

KATIE (looking like she's having a lot of fun): "We won't tattle home, send an owl!"

ANGELINA (sings really nicely, Fred goes slightly misty-eyed but remembers himself and catcalls): "We don't nitpick, we get revenge!"

ALICIA (looks over at Lee, gets an idea, and sings): "Lee J's like a lamb, 'cause he told the Slytherins, 'Scram'!"

KATIE (has somehow gotten posession of the ball, and is tossing it from one hand to the other): "We won the Cup, so c'mon baby!"

ANGELINA (giggles, then continues): "Don't you reckon we're the best? Us Chasers easily impress!"

Everyone is pairing off and dancing to their song.

KATIE: "They should've played much better if they wanted to be celebratin' tonight!"

ALICIA (does a tricky little dance move and somehow gets the Quaffle off of Katie): "You've gotta just LOVE Quidditch if you're gonna dance with us tonight."

KATIE (gives Alicia a dirty look): "We play carefully and if you all like what you see, well we approve! Just prove you can hang with me!"

ANGELINA (smiles winningly and waves): "I'm dead good, the other house teams are scared of me. Mount your brooms, it's time to begin play!"

ALL THREE: "I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! 'Cause our team's just too bloody good for ya babe. I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! 'Cause our team's just too bloody good for ya babe."

LEE (from the crowd): "You go sisters!" Alicia smiles and blows him a kiss.

KATIE: "Hufflepuff, can you win against us?"

ALICIA: "Ravenclaw, can you win against us?"

ANGELINA: "Slytherin, can you win against us?"

ALL THREE (sounding very Destiny's Child-ish): "We don't think you win against us!"

KATIE: "Heartbreak of losing is wearing off. The other teams are tryhards."

ALICIA: "Death grip, we're flyin' high! We tie up our hair and get black eyes."

A few of the more squeamish students wince at the mention of Quidditch injuries.

ANGELINA: "We're lookin' hot-"

FRED (mutters slyly, but Angelina hears and blushes): "I'll say."

ANGELINA: "Um, playin' good. Girl Chasers enjoy their girlhood!"

ALICIA (giggles at Angelina looking a little embarrassed and rather flattered): "I could break my shoulder, but the game is bliss! No way anyone could win against us!"

ALL THREE: "I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! 'Cause our team's just too bloody good for ya babe. I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! 'Cause our team's just too bloody good for ya babe."

KATIE: "We wow the boys in Hogsmeade town, playing better then those sad clowns. Though I can't help but wonder why? Is it 'cause we're cute, or sporty, guys?"

COLIN CREEVEY: "Sporty!"

OLIVER (hyper from winning): "Cute!"

LEE, FRED AND GEORGE (to the approval of the Chasers): "Both!"

ANGELINA: "We win outright at every game, eas'ly achieving schoolwide fame!"

ALICIA: "It'll be fun to watch you losing on those brooms that you have. We'll watch 'em lose and, hell, scat some jazz!"

*SCATTING*

RON: "You girls RULE!" Katie smiles and tosses the Quaffle high into the air.

ALL THREE: "I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! I don't think you're ready to play against us! 'Cause our team's just too bloody good for ya babe."

The Chasers take deep bows while everyone cheers.