DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Sotsu, Sunrise, and Bandai. Mattresses and sheep are property of the Serta® company.
Important Note: Will it never end! oo;


Wufei & the Injustice of the Serta Sheep
By Waltz195


In the weeks that followed Preventer Chang's strange disappearance, disturbing accounts of a flock of sheep running around major Earth cities grew, as people came home to find their mattresses, and most likely half their houses, blown to bits. A few witnesses claimed to have seen a huge mecha lurking about and wondered if there was a connection with the strange sheep sightings.

Reports of nationwide attacks on Serta© mattress factories have also increased, reaching such numbers as to concern the ESUN President, who was a Serta© mattress owner himself. Considering it a national security threat, he informed the Preventers about the situation.

"I would like you to choose your finest agents and see to this situation at once!" The president demanded, speaking via-satellite with Preventer Chief Une.

"Let me get this straight," Une asked, disbelieving what she had just heard. "You want me to put Preventers out in the field to investigate incidents with mattresses?"

"Of course!" The president sighed exasperatedly. "That's what I just said. Really, Chief Une. I'd thought you more astute."

"Hn...of course."

"Now get this resolved immediately. I need my beauty sleep. Good-bye." And with that he abruptly ended the transmission.

Une stuck her tongue out at the blank screen. "Nyah! Cocky, bulb-nosed, arrogant prick..."

She turned in her chair and gazed out the window, deep in thought. "Is he serious? We have terrorists, drug-smugglers, and rebels to worry about...and he wants me to take care of matresses! Crazy politicians..."

Pressing the intercom button on her desk, Une informed her secretary to send in Preventers Water and Maxwell. A few minutes later a tall, blond woman and a young man with a long braid entered her office.

"You wanted to see us, chief?" Preventer Water asked.

"Yes," Une responded, motioning them to sit in front of her desk. "I've just spoken with the president. He wants us to investigate these strange mattress incidents that have been occurring recently. I trust you know of this issue? "

"Sure," Duo spoke up. "It's been all over the news. They hit an apartment district not too far from mine about a week ago. " He shook his head sympathetically. "Poor suckers had all their mattresses blown to kingdom come. Kinda sad if you ask me."

"Why do we have to investigate something so...weird?" Sally asked irritatedly.

"The president is a fan of the brand of mattresses, I suppose. I agree with you, but I've been given my orders."

Sally didn't care for that answer and grumbled obscenities under her breath.

"But," Une interrupted. "You could use this time on the side to investigate the disappearance of Preventer Chang, seeing as how you're the only agents I can spare at the moment."

Sally looked up gratefully. She had been worried about her partner for many weeks, but without any opportunity to investigate it. Until now.

"You leave for the downtown D-disctrict immediately. That's where the last sightings occurred. Execute standard investigative procedures and contact headquarters with any new developments. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" the two agents answered simultaneously.

"Alright. Dismissed!"

A few days later...

"Hey, Sally!" Duo called to his partner casually. "You have any idea where Justice-Boy is?"

"I don't know, Duo. He just disappeared from work a few weeks ago. I haven't seen him since then."

The two agents were currently holed up in an apartment in the D-district, once again on night watch. Having confirmed a number of Serta© mattress owners in the area, they had set up surveillance equipment around their position and observed the vicinity regularly, searching for any signs of suspicious activity.

"So, when do you suppose these 'sheep' will show up?" Duo yawned, laying back in a hammock he had brought along.

"I don't know," Sally replied again, looking through the night scope. "I still think these people are just hallucinating. Probably a bug or something, like that guard at base a few weeks ago."

"Yeah. Well, let's just hope this is all a prank. I happen to own one of those mattresses and I sure as heck am not giving it up to a bunch of sweaters."

"Whatever you say, Duo."

Suddenly, a loud rumbling could be heard a short distance from their location. Before they could react, a mass of snow-white sheep rounded a corner on a run, their coats standing out like wooly beacons in the night. They approached a house not too far to their left, where they gathered on the lawn.

"Holy-!"

"Yeah! My sentiments exactly!"

The two Preventers watched in dazed wonder as the sheep seemed to converse with the occupant of the house.

"Hey, Fred! Fred!" one sheep called. "10:45! We're right on time!"

A bald and portly man leaned out an upstairs window hesitantly. "Uh...guys...We got a problem."

"Problem? What problem?" the sheep called back. "We're here, you're here. I don't see a problem."

"Well, you see...I kinda got a new mattress. "

"What?" The sheep drew back in shock. "But...how could you!"

"Sorry, it's just that it's so comfortable and I wake up rested and refreshed every morning," Fred explained. "So, I don't need you any more. Sorry, guys."

"Oh, you'll be sorry all right," Earl, the sheep who'd been talking, called ominously.

The flock of sheep massed together to one side of the lawn as the leader called out to the dark.

"Avenger!"

"Avenger?" the two observing Preventers questioned, following the sheep's movements.

Suddenly, a large object moved from the corner and revealed itself to be... a Gundam! (Surprise, surprise...)

"What the-!"

"I am the Avenger!" A voice echoed from...somewhere, sounding suspiciously familiar. "I will right wrongs and triumph over evil! Like you!" (--;)

"WUFEI!" Duo and Sally were in shock.

The familiar figure of the supposedly destroyed Gundam Nataku now stood in the light of an impossibly tall and conveniently placed streetlamp, looming over the afore mentioned house, in all its destructive glory.

"You there!" A dragon-fanged arm pointed at the house. "You dishonor the name of these sheep with your betrayal! You shall be brought to justice! By me!"

"What the heck has gotten into him!" Sally asked bewilderedly.

"I don't know," Duo replied, gathering up some weapons. "But we'd better get down there before he causes anymore damage. Man, he must have lost it...big time! He's even quoting from another anime series!"

The two Preventers quickly dashed out of the apartment and headed out of the building, to the unfolding drama in the street below.

Meanwhile...

"I don't know what you're talking about." The frightened, bald man backed away from the window.

"Move!" Wufei's voiced resonated, as Nataku's arm reached through the window and made a grab for the offending mattress. Getting a firm grip on it, he manuevered the Gundam's arm out of the house, pulling the mattress with it, despite the whining complaints of its owner.

"This evil will be rectified by my own hands!" Wufei shouted, raising the other dragon-fang towards the mattress.

"Hold it, Wu-man!" Duo shouted, running across the street. "You've really gone over the deep end!"

"Maxwell?"

"Wufei! What the hell are you doing!" Sally called from beside him.

"Sally?" Wufei asked bewilderedly. "And what are you doing with him! I thought I was your partner!"

"Well," she answered, just as irritated. "Given the fact that my former partner is out cavorting with sheep, there wasn't much in the selection of a new one! No offense, Duo," Sally apologized to the braided man beside her.

"None taken."

"Now get away from the mattress and get your butt over here!" she ordered. "Before we have to hurt you! "

"No!" Wufei called back, childishly clinging to his prey. "Nataku and I will correct the injustices that have been brought on these sheep by the evil matttress company!"

Several of the sheep "baa"ed in agreement.

"Listen to yourself! Wait a minute-Why the heck do you have Nataku! I saw you blow it up!"

"Ahem..." Duo spoke up from beside her. "It's a plothole. "

"Oh...okay."

"You can't stop me!" Wufei called, turning his Gundam to run away from them. "I am the Avenger of Sheep!"

The gundam stomped noisily as Wufei manuevered down the street, his little sheep friends following him.

"You're not suppose to run with mattresses! Somebody could get hurt!" Earl called after him.

Sally and Duo raced after them, trying to talk sense into the deranged, justice-minded pilot. Wufei paid them no heed as his gundam moved away. Unfortunately, he did not see the gigantic speed bump in front of him until it was too late.

The foot of the great Gundam Nataku tripped across the speed bump and Wufei found himself falling forward onto the mattress...HARD. Amazingly, the mattress repelled Nataku and the great gundam bounced backwards and fell again...HARDER.

" WUUUUUUUFFFFEEEEEEI!"

Wufei bolted upright and found himself sitting on the cold floor of the Preventers Headquarters infirmary.

"What the-!"

"Glad to see you're awake," Sally called from the door, a patient's chart in hand.

"Woman! What happened? Where are the sheep? Where's Nataku!"

Sally frowned slightly. "Sheep? Nataku? How hard did you hit your head when you fainted?"

"I did not faint! Wait-what are you talking about? "

"Well," she began, walking over to him and taking his pulse. "You were on operator duty and I suppose you went to the vending machine to get a snack. Why, I don't know, since everyone knows all the snacks in there are over a year expired. The power bar you were eating had tainted grains and the toxicity was too much for your body. You fainted and that's how I found you. Don't worry, though. We pumped your stomach, so you didn't get much food poisoning," she finished with a smile.

"So...there were no sheep?" Wufei asked disappointedly. "No injustices to make right? It was all a dream?"

Sally glanced at him, amused by his bewildered expression. "I think your little episode disoriented you a bit. Now, why don't you lie down and try to relax?" She coaxed him back onto the bed.

"There. Comfortable?" She picked up her chart and walked to the door. "What a luxury for you, the mattress is new. Just shipped in from the Serta© factory. Enjoy!"

As she walked out, she did not see Wufei fall out of the bed behind her. WHAM!

"INJUSTICE!"


Sally: That was...new...
W195: I know.
Duo: That was weird...
W195: I know.
Wufei: That was STUPID! INJUSTICE!
W195: I know. How it even lived to see Chapter 3 is beyond me.
Wufei: I am never letting you near a bottle of SOBE® again, onna. The results are catastrophic:
W195: I apologize to the disturbed readers out there. I have no idea where this came from. I actually like Serta© mattresses and sheep. And I adore Wufei! (pinches Wufei's cheek) 3 The overuse of cliches and downright ridiculousness even makes me cringe. (cringe) I admit, it's not my best work, but it was entertaining while it lasted. Right, Wufei?
Wufei: --
W195: Oh well...reviews/comments/flames might as well be expected. Ja ne!