I wrote this fic two days after the Sept. 11 attacks as a way to help myself organize and deal with my thoughts and feelings. When I originally posted it on a couple of e-mail lists, I was afraid that others might consider it inappropriate; instead, I got messages telling me that it had helped others a little bit, as well. At first, I had no intention if posting it here, but the positive reception changed my mind. If you do feel it to be inappropriate, please keep it to yourself, or at least be polite when telling me so.

Contains minor spoilers for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.





"Hello, Secret Stash, we're closed right now, so if you could call back later -"

"Brodie, wait. It's Rene."

"Rene? Oh. Hi. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I happened to come back to Jersey last night. I'm crashing at Tricia's place."

"Oh, good. . . . God, how long has it been?"

"Since you left the show and I didn't."

"Heard you did last January."

"Yeah. New guy's a dick."

"Heard that too."

". . ."

". . ."

"So if the store's closed, why are you still there?"

"Some of us are hanging out here, watching the news. Listen, if you and Trish wanna come down . . ."

"Trish can't. She's waiting to hear from Alyssa. She lives in New York, you know."

"Oh. . . . Doesn't Trish have a cell phone?"

"Yeah, but she says she won't trust the service as far as she can throw it right now, especially on calls from and to New York. She can't even get through on her regular phone. Actually, she's giving me the evil eye right now, so I gotta go, but maybe I'll come down later."

"That would be cool."

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye."

**********

"Hello?"

"Banky?"

". . . Holden?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"I guess you're pretty surprised, it's been a while, huh?"

"There's pretty much been a reason for that."

"Yeah, I know. Uhm - have you been watching the news?"

". . . yeah. Yeah, I've had it on for about three hours now. Heavy stuff."

"Yeah, it is. Makes you think, y'know? . . . God, that sounds so fuckin' trite."

"Yeah. But you're right. I mean, once it all sinks in, anyway. Puts stuff in perspective. And all that shit. Yeah, that sounds stupid, too. You know why everything everyone has to say sounds like clichéd crap?"

"Why?"

"Because what else can you say?"

"Yeah. . . . So, I was wondering . . ."

"Yes?"

"If, uh, if you might maybe want to get together for coffee sometime. It's been a while, and I've had a lot of time to think, and it's just not right, Banky, not to at least give it a shot when there are so many people who can't ever again, and I'm not trying to go for the emotional blackmail here, it's -"

"Okay."

"- just that it's - What?"

"I said okay. If it'll shut you the fuck up, I'll go get coffee with you sometime."

". . . oh. Thanks."

"Yeah - shit, I have another call coming in, I'll be right back -"

"No, that's okay, I'll just hang up. Talk to you later."

"Bye . . . . . Hello?"

"Banky? Banky, is that you?"

"Yeah. Who is this? Jesus, you've got a crappy connection."

"Yeah, well, it's the only one I've had in the past half hour. It's Alyssa, I'm looking for Hooper. I managed to get through to his place an hour ago but there was no answer."

"Oh, yeah, you're in New York, aren't you? Hooper's long gone, he went to go see his family. He says that if ever there's a time he won't get a door in his face, this is it."

"Oh."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I guess. I wanna be in Jersey, but nobody's getting anywhere right now."

"No shit - hey, how'd you get my number?"

"Hooper gave it to me in case of an emergency. I'd say this qualifies."

"Yeah. For the record, in any other situation, I'd be outraged and hanging up to get my number changed right about now, but for today - well, I'm not going anywhere, so if you need to call again . . ."

"Thanks."

"Yeah. I'll tell Hooper you called when I hear from him again, he'll be glad."

"He better be. Could you ask him to check in on my family when he gets a chance? I talked to my mom, but I bet they're still freaking out right now."

"Will do."

"Thanks. I better go, the phone lines are overloaded right now."

"Okay."

**********

"Hello?"

"Veronica?"

"Speaking. Who is this?"

"It's Dante. Dante Hicks."

". . . oh. Hi, Dante."

"You're probably wondering why I'm calling . . ."

"Not really. I've been watching the news since nine. It's the kind of thing that makes you want to call everyone you ever met."

"So you won't hang up on me then?"

"It's been years, Dante. I'd like to think that I've moved on enough not to hang up on you under any circumstances."

"Oh. Good. Because if I were you, I'd hang up on me. Which I guess makes you the bigger person."

"I guess so."

"But I always knew that."

"You are so full of it. You did not."

"Well - maybe not. Okay, definitely not. But it didn't take me till now to figure it out, either."

"Okay."

"So - how've you been?"

"I've been okay. Pretty good, actually. I'm, uh, I'm seeing someone. It's pretty serious."

"So, in other words, don't try to pick you up. Got it."

"That obvious, huh?"

"Well, you're not as subtle as you think you are sometimes."

"Well, I don't know why I'd worry, anyway. I heard about you and Randal."

". . . What?"

"The service at the Unitarian church. Congratulations."

"That is such a load of crap! I don't know what your sources are, Veronica, but someone has been lying to you -"

"I know. Relax, Dante. I'm just teasing. It was a joke."

"Oh. Well, it wasn't funny."

"Obviously. You've probably heard more than enough about it lately, huh?"

"You don't know the half of it."

". . . Well, you know, Dante, there is a reason why people assume it's true."

"Yeah, because they're sheep. Can we please talk about anything else in the world?"

". . . Okay. Like what?"

"Anything. Lint."

"Lint?"

"Lint - or not. Shit, I have to go. Would you mind if I called later?"

"No, that would be okay."

"Great. Later, then."

"Goodbye."