The Lover After Me

My try on Yohken and Ranken, of course, more angst coming^^ comments in any way are accepted with both hands!

Warnings: shonen-ai, angst^^
Spoilers: none (for now)
Disclaimer: Wei doesn't belong to me, nor the song 'Please Release Me' and 'The Lover After Me' by Engelbert and Savage Garden (I love Savage Garden^^)

The Lover After Me

Part 1: Blunt Coffee and a Broken Heart

Kisaragi Yuu

I am sitting in my darkened room in one late night, don't care about seeing the clock and notice what time is it. I just sit here, an untouched coffee on my left hand and nothing in my right. Thinking about Ken. Thinking about you.

Why? Why do you have to go so soon?

A flash of your face could be seen anywhere right now. The face that I adore so much, the face that full of life, the face that meant everything to me... so innocent. Nothing could compare the cheerfulness in you. I love you... so many times I told that to myself, but never, never to you.

To think and regret how much a foolish I was.

I take a sip of my coffee.

And now that you are not mine anymore, it's my own fault. My own stupidity not to tell you how much I love you, no matter how many signs of love you sent to me.

Even after you came into my room that night, and sang to me a heart-breaking song.

'Please release me'

How?

How can I release you when I love you so?

'Let me go for I don't love you anymore'

Hurts.

'To waste our lives would be a sin'

Eventhough you said those cruel words to me, I still... I couldn't stop loving you, Ken. No matter what, eventhough... eventhough...

'Release me and let me love again'

Eventhough you belong to Yohji now...

The black coffee never feels so blunt.

***

The morning starts with the sun shining gently upon the city of Tokyo. I open the flowershop first today, wondering on the wooden table about what should my face look like to him today.

Will it be sad? Will it be expressionless? What should I do when I see him?

Doesn't give me an enough time to think, fate send Ken to the Koneko earlier than the usual days. He's startled when he sees me, of course, I am the one who he broke the day before yesterday. Maybe the first boyfriend that he broke too.

"A-Aa... Aya, ohayou!"

His trembling voice even makes me feel uncomfortable.

I have to do something, something usual by the cold mask of mine, something that will make him feel better. I don't care about myself, let myself be, broken and shattered for all I care, it's just... it's just I don't want him to be sad.

So I take the first mask that I have and mastered in: coldness.

"Hn."

I could see his face fault and the gleaming eyes seen very guilty. It's like he just committed a very devilish sin. Why? Why Ken? You did the... right thing... I don't deserve you, you don't have to tell me about it. I will have to part with you, sooner or later anyway.

But... I love you... and all the common senses in me couldn't get me an answer of why did you do that.

"Aya... umm... about that night... I..."

"Why?" I cut his words off. The words that I don't want to hear.

His eyes widen at the snap in my voice and the look in my eyes. Although what I look like in times like this escapes me.

"T-that..."

"Why, Ken?"

He pauses.

"You never say you love me... that makes me feel unworthy for you. Every look of cold that you throw to me every single night when we were together... hurt a lot. I couldn't stand it anymore...so..."

Nani...

Just... that? Because of my cold looks to you? JUST that?

Trying to stretch my patience from grabbing his wrist and look at his eyes deeply, just to show how much I love him, I lower my eye level to the ground, shoulder trembling and fists clenching.

"...Aya?"

Hurts. It hurts a lot. In my heart, the broken sound of a heart could be heard. The glass heart that brought up to Heaven and disgustingly thrown away by an angel... deep down to Hell.

"It's just because of that...?" I ask, couldn't help my voice not to tremble.

"A-Aya... I can explain..."

And it's when his new lover walks into the Koneko, all with his shining face of happiness glued on his face. I'm like seeing my own face before the night from yesterday.

Yohji looks at us and he doesn't take much time to understand the situation we are in.

The devil's triangle that each of us doesn't want to let go.

Yohji, being a defensive lover after me, hugs Ken from his back and looks at me, teaming up with Ken in putting an against war with me. I don't step back though. My pride and my dignity are what left in me now don't allow me to do so.

But...

They are broken, they are lost, they are gone... forever, ever since Ken said about releasing him to...

...to Yohji...

Couldn't bear with the pain, I lay my trembling backbones to the wooden table, sitting on it, eyes still glued in them. Ken really doesn't look comfortable though, why of course.

And when I think about something to say... I say the first thing in my mind.

I start to sing.

Here I go again, I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today

Yohji and Ken widen their eyes, a sign of unbelievable feelings they have in mind.

It's been seven months in counting
You've moved on, I still feel exactly the same.
It's just everywhere I go all the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love

Yes, I still feel exactly the same... ever since we punched each other when we first met, ever since you stop by in my room every night when we were together. I still love you... and will never change this feeling of you, no matter what.

Ken's eyes trail down to gentle caress as I go on.

Steel and granites reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on

"Ken, don't." I could hear Yohji's voice to him as he cup his hands harder on Ken's chest, hurting me even more but doesn't and couldn't stop me from singing my feelings to him.

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name to your love
To your lover now
To your love...

The lover after me

And as Ken couldn't take it anymore, he pushes his face to Yohji's wide chest. Yohji throws me a dark glare, telling my by his eyes that Ken is his now. I look at him, blank-faced, I could feel myself don't feel any kind of pains now.

Maybe it's just too much of the pain that I can handle until I couldn't feel it anymore.

"...Take me away..." Ken whispers to him, red-faced.

I could see that Ken starts to cry when Yohji folds his arms around Ken and throws me one more glare before he walks out from Koneko, carrying Ken with him.

TBC~ ^^