Christmas Without The Merry pt3
Disclaimer: I do not own the Christmas holiday or any of its season stuff (e.g. songs, Santa Claus, TV specials etc). I also do not own "I can't believe it's not butter" or "Mr muscle".
A/N: Wow…you reviews are so flattering! Gosh, it made me write even faster! As for Yaj…well, poor Yaj ^_^ Oh and PC dear, I'm working on the awards…it's just that this is so much easier to write ^_^()
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Back in the kitchen…
"Okay, the stupid bird is stuffed. Now what?" Vegeta asked Piccolo. Piccolo read the book and raised a non-existent eyebrow.
"It's says to baste it with butter and/or margarine and some other turkey seasoning stuff." Piccolo said. (A/N: You can tell by now that I'm just winging it with this whole turkey cooking thing ^_^)
"Well let me check the fridge." Vegeta said and he returned with butter. Or at least that's what he thought. Piccolo read the label.
"I Can't Believe Its Not Butter." Piccolo read. "Vegeta, this isn't butter."
"Really?" Vegeta asked sarcastically. "I don't get humans you know. Why bother having a product that isn't butter and then calling it I Can't Believe It's Not Butter? What's the point?! If these idiots took half the time to actually read the ingredients then they'd know it wasn't butter. But the package still claims I Can't Believe Its Not Butter!" Vegeta ranted.
"I know what you mean. You know that cleaner Mr Muscle?"
"Yeah…"
"Well the label on it says 'Loves The Jobs You Hate'. Well I was in charge of watering Popo's garden while he went on holiday so I thought let Mr Muscle do it! I hate the job and it should love it right? I come back a couple of hours later and the plants are all brown. I mean, I even supplied it with water for pete's sake!" Piccolo ranted.
"Humans!" They both said as they proceeded to rub I Can't Believe It's Not Butter all over the cotton wool filled turkey. Gohan and Krillin snickered.
"Okay Krillin we've made roast potatoes, mash potatoes, boiled potatoes and french fries. I think now we need to make some peas." Gohan declared. Krillin fished about in the freezer.
"Found them! But they're already cooked." Krillin said proceeding in pouring the peas into a plate. Gohan touched one of them.
"Krillin! They're frozen!" Gohan said.
"Don't worry I'll fix that…" Krillin said powering up.
Meanwhile…
Videl was sitting on the couch with #18 watching a Christmas movie. #18's presence intimidated her very much but she did need some advice on what to do with Gohan. His mother had passed out and his father was tending to her, of course it didn't seem like the right time to tell them about the engagement but Videl felt that Gohan was avoiding it somehow. #18 was the only one around whom she could ask for advice since everyone else was busy.
**It's impossible to know what she's thinking! Her facial expression stays the same all the time!** Videl thought to herself. #18 looked over to Videl.
"Look, if you want to ask me something then come straight out with it. Is this between you and Goku's eldest?" #18 asked. Videl's eyes widened.
"Erm, ok…me and Gohan have gotten engaged but we haven't told anyone except our friends yet. Gohan keeps avoiding telling his family." Videl stated looking over to Goku and the unconscious Chi-Chi.
"I can't say I blame him. These guys are pretty crazy…" #18 said.
"I'm sure they're not that bad…" Videl said. #18 just raised her eyebrow.
"3,2,1…" She said in a bored manner.
"AAAAARRRGG!!" Gohan's screams were heard from the kitchen.
"AIYEE!! I'M SORRY GOHAN!!" Krillin yelled.
"NOW I HAVE FLAMING HOT PEAS STUCK TO MY FOREHEAD!!"
"I THOUGHT IF I CHI BLASTED THEM THEY'D COOK!!" There was more noise and crashes as you could hear Gohan chasing Krillin around the massive kitchen. Videl looked at #18 in surprise.
"I just hang out here a lot." #18 replied as she went back to watching TV.
Back in the kitchen…
Gohan was chasing Krillin around the kitchen since the chi blasted peas were stuck to his forehead. Master Roshi and Oolong had already made a Christmas pudding but they wanted to light it. Roshi poured a lot of wine inside the pudding. Just as Krillin ran past Oolong set it alight. Let's just say that quarter of the kitchen was flambé! Gohan suddenly stopped chasing Krillin and rolled on the floor with laughter.
"What are you laughing at?" Krillin said as he looked into a saucepan. "AAAAAAAAH!! MY HAIR! IT'S GONE AGAIN!!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Gohan laughed. "Now we're even!"
"Heh! The midget formerly seen as bald but now seen as bald again!" Vegeta laughed. Piccolo and Vegeta looked as if they were fine. But the worst was yet to come.
"There! We've done all seven turkeys! Now how long does it take to cook them?" Vegeta asked. Piccolo looked at the cookbook and his eyes widened.
"Erm, why don't you take a look?" Piccolo suggested. Vegeta read the book.
"What do you mean the turkey takes eight hours to cook??!! WE DON'T HAVE THAT LONG!!" Vegeta yelled.
"Well I didn't write the cookbook Vegeta!" Piccolo argued back. Vegeta's face suddenly lit up.
"I have an idea." Vegeta said as he powered up. Gohan and Krillin looked over and gasped.
"VEGETA!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" They both yelled.
BOOM!!!
The kitchen staff were covered in ash, turkey bits and there was cotton wool floating about. Suddenly there was a flash.
"GET BACK HERE WITH THAT CAMERA YAMCHA!!" Krillin yelled. They could hear Yamcha's sniggers as he ran down the hall.
"Since when did it snow inside as well?" Vegeta asked. Everyone else sighed.
"Erm Piccolo?" Gohan asked. "Why is there cotton wool floating about?"
"Because it was the stuffing inside the turkey." Piccolo replied. The others face-faulted.
"YOU DON'T STUFF TURKEYS WITH COTTON WOOL!" Oolong yelled. Piccolo and Vegeta both gave him the evil eye and he shut up.
"Why not?! You stuff animals with cotton wool." Piccolo defended himself.
"Yah! But we don't eat them!" Krillin protested.
"Maybe you don't!" Piccolo retorted. Krillin sighed a mushroom cloud.
"What are we gonna do now?! Vegeta blasted all the turkeys and there's nothing left for us to eat!" Gohan said.
"Damn. It's too bad Kakarrot had to go and kill his wife." Vegeta commented.
"FOR THE LAST TIME!! I DID NOT KILL MY WIFE!!" Goku yelled. They all looked at each other blankly. In a flash, Vegeta had grabbed Oolong and tried to put him in the oven. Of course fear makes you ten times stronger so Oolong was able to stop himself from becoming Christmas dinner.
"What are you doing Vegeta?!" Oolong yelled desperately trying to hold on to the door of the oven.
"What do you think Bacon? You're our dinner!" Vegeta yelled maniacally. The others tried to stop Vegeta from cooking Oolong.
Meanwhile…
"Are the traps all set?" Trunks asked. Marron and Goten nodded. "Excellent. Let's see Mr Cringle get pass that! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!"
"Why are you laughing like that?" Marron asked. Trunks shrugged.
"It seemed appropriate." He replied.
"Hey Bulma! Could you come here for a second?" Goku yelled. Bulma came running.
"What is it?! Did Chi-Chi wake up?!" Bulma asked frantically. Goku just blinked at her.
"Okay no. I was just gonna ask what kind of cleaner did you use on your kitchen?"
"Citrus fresh, why?"
"I KNEW IT! I KNEW I NEVER KILLED HER!" Goku yelled triumphantly. Videl, #18 and Bulma all looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Ahem, she's allergic to all cleaners that are citrus fresh!"
"OH! Damn it's all my fault!" Bulma said.
"I wouldn't worry about it Bulma…"
"Now everyone is gonna starve and its all my fault!" Bulma wailed as Goku face-faulted. Suddenly loud, ear-piercing screams were heard from the kitchen.
"Ooh. That can't be good…" Goku commented. There was a strong gust of wind and as Goku turned around he saw Oolong on his shoulder. Goku blinked in surprise. "What's the matter Oolong?" Goku asked but he didn't need an answer as a hungry Vegeta came whooshing into the living room.
"Give me the ham Kakarrot!" Vegeta yelled. Yamcha and the kids plus the kitchen staff all came running on.
"What's going on?" Yamcha asked.
"VEGETA WANTS TO EAT ME!!" Oolong yelled.
"Wow Vegeta-san, I never knew you were a canna…canna…a people eating person." Goten said. Vegeta's eyebrow twitched violently.
"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT HE IS NOT A PERSON?!?! HE'S A FREAKIN PIG!!" Vegeta yelled. Everyone just looked at him blankly. Bulma looked at the time.
"Vegeta, where is our dinner?!" she yelled.
"We couldn't make the turkey. Vegeta exploded it." Piccolo stated. Bulma face-faulted.
"NANI?!?! VEGETA NO BAKA!!!" Bulma yelled.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT HUMANS CAN'T DECIDE WHAT BUTTER IS!!"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?" Bulma yelled. The kids took this opportunity to start their plan to capture Santa Claus and set the traps around the chimney.
"IF KAKARROT'S BRAT AND HIS FREAK BRIGADE KNEW LEFT FROM RIGHT…" Vegeta started to yell.
"Hey! We made all our food just fine!! It's not our fault your brain isn't as big as your ego!!" Gohan yelled.
"Gohan!" Videl said in surprise. Everyone except Goku, Yamcha and #18, who was more interested in her magazine, started arguing very loudly. Finally it was too much…
"WILL EVERYONE PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
To Be Continued…
Who is yelling? What will become of Christmas Dinner? What will become of Yajirobe? Will Vegeta sue the I Can't Believe Its Not Butter Company for negligence? Find out next time!
