Christmas Without The Merry pt4

Disclaimer: I do not own the Christmas holiday or any of its season stuff (e.g. songs, Santa Claus, TV specials etc). I also do not own "I can't believe it's not butter" or "Mr muscle".

A/N: Ooh, I haven't written in a long time ^_^() but I had to get this out in time for the holidays, didn't I? Enjoy!

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"WILL EVERYONE PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

Everyone looked over to a very angry and a very red-faced Goku. His arms were raised over his head and he had a very fiery look in his eye.

"My wife is ill, it's the holiday season and all of you are bickering like you're on a talk show! I have never been this angry since I last saw Buu!!" Goku scolded. "Now I understand that Vegeta couldn't cook the turkey…"

"I could if I wanted to…" Vegeta muttered.

"No talking!!" Goku snapped. "Yamcha, why didn't you help them? You know how to cook." Everyone looked at Yamcha.

"NANI?!?!" They yelled.

"I tried to tell you! But you guys didn't want to hear it." Yamcha said proudly. The others looked at him with evil eyes. "I'll just go then shall I?" Yamcha walked out, came back in, took #18 with him and walked back out.

"Hey Krillin, I'd keep an eye on your wife if I were you." Gohan said. In a flash, Krillin took off after them. Gohan snickered as Goku gave him a warning look. "Sorry dad."

"Dad, why are you so angry today?" Goten asked.

"Well son, with your mother out cold I kind of have to fill her role of discipline or something. All I know is that it involved a contract and some guy in a suit." Goku answered.

"Well since Yamcha and #18 are cooking the meal why don't we all get dressed, hmm?" Bulma ordered.

Later…

The guests were all dressed up, the house was decorated, the traps were set and Chi-Chi was awake. It was the moment of truth. Dinner. They all walked into the dining room and saw a beautiful spread on the table. They all sat down with Yamcha and #18 who were already seated.

"Yamcha! How in the world did you learn to cook like this?!" Krillin exclaimed.

"Well think about it Krillin. I don't have a mother or a wife to cook for me. Who do you think cooked for me all these years?" Yamcha laughed.

"Certainly not Bulma." Vegeta muttered as Bulma gave him the evil eye.

"#18 was just helping with the measurements and stuff." Yamcha said.

"But how did you get it to cook so fast?" Gohan asked.

"Did you bozos even think of using the microwave?" #18 asked. Krillin and Gohan looked embarrassed, Vegeta looked bored and Piccolo looked confused.

"What the hell is a microwave?" Piccolo asked. The younger ones started to laugh and soon Goku joined in with them.

"Piccolo, you crack me up!" Goku laughed.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you Son. You were the one who married your wife without actually knowing what marriage meant…" Piccolo smirked as he took a sip of his wine. "Mmm, fruity…"

"Hey! I was only 14 when she asked me that! I knew what it was afterwards!" Goku exclaimed as the table burst into fits of laughter. Goku joined into the laughter as well.

Even more later…

"BURP!" Vegeta let out a belch.

"Ditto!" The other Saiya-jins said as the other guests looked on at them. Of course, they had stopped eating a long time ago, most of them because of loss of appetite. They all went down to sit in the front room when the clock hit midnight. There were loud bangs and rumbles heard from the roof. Bulma sweat-dropped as her guests began to notice.

"Bulma, what is that noise?" Chi-Chi asked.

"Erm, nothing! You hear nothing!" Bulma laughed nervously. The kids began to have worried looks on their faces.

"You don't think it could be…" Marron started. Goten nodded with a serious look on his face.

"It's El Diablo known as Father Christmas." Goten said.

"Ok, no more Cable TV for you!" Trunks said. "Let's just see if the traps work."

There was a loud clambering followed by a very loud yell. Everyone gasped in shock as a big bag dropped down the chimney followed by an upside-down, very red faced Santa.

"WAHOO!" The kids yelled. "We caught Santa Claus!"

"Silly brats. That isn't Santa Claus." Vegeta smirked. The kids turned blue and looked at Santa.

"If that ain't him…then who is it?" Goten asked fearfully.

"Bulma!! What the heck is this?!?! I CAME HERE TO DO YOU A FAVOUR AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?!?!?! HAVING RED HOT POKERS BEING STUCK IN MY BUTT AND BEING HUNG UPSIDE DOWN LIKE SOME SORT OF CHRISTMAS DECORATION?!!" Yajirobe yelled.

"Yajirobe?!" Everyone exclaimed.

"No? Really? You don't say?" Yajirobe said sarcastically. As Goku and Krillin tried to help him down the doorbell rang. Before anyone could get up to answer it the person had already come in.

"Ho, Ho, Ho!" A merry voice chirped as Santa Claus walked in. "Sorry for the intrusion, there was a problem with the chimney."

"It's Santa!" The three little kids yelled as they hid behind their mothers. Bulma raised an eyebrow. She turned around to scold Vegeta but saw that his eyebrow was twitching violently.

"YOU!" Vegeta yelled as he shook his fist at Santa. "HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE IN MY HOUSE?!?!" Santa looked over and gasped, dropping his sack.

"V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-VEGETA?!!" Santa yelled in fear and shock. "I never thought I'd run into you on this planet!"

"Cool! Vegeta, how do you know Santa Claus?" Goku exclaimed.

"He's a Saiya-jin that was banished from our planet because he was an evil bastard." Vegeta replied.

"Vegeta! Language!" Chi-Chi scolded.

"Great (!) First Goku and now Santa! Who's gonna be a Saiya-jin next? Krillin?" Yamcha said. Vegeta and Krillin both laughed at that comment.

"I want you to get out of my house now!" Vegeta yelled. "Who in the hell do you think you are?! Coming to Earth and posing a bringer of goodwill in Holland. Not that I approve of that sort of thing but it's evil! Then you had the nerve to associate yourself with Coca-Cola and they made you a worldwide legend!"

"NO! NOT COCA-COLA!" Trunks yelled.

"Hey! It's not my fault they liked me! They even gave me a spiffy new red look!" Santa grinned. Vegeta's eyebrow twitched.

"GET OUT!!" Vegeta yelled.

"But…" Santa started but Vegeta had lost all patience and started to pummel him mercilessly. They took the fight out into the backyard. They stood face to face staring each other down as if they were pro-wrestlers on an episode of Smackdown!

"YAH!! GO DAD/MR VEGETA!!" The three kids yelled as everyone cleared out of the way. Vegeta threw down some terrific punches but Santa seemed to dodge every last one.

"Damn! For a fat guy, he sure can move fast." Gohan commented.

"Gohan! What have I told you about using that word?!" Chi-Chi scolded.

"You were right…they are weird." Videl said to #18 but #18 merely shrugged. Vegeta finally got Santa in a mercy hold as he sat on Santa's back, grabbed his leg and bent it back.

"SAY UNCLE!" Vegeta yelled.

"NEVER!"

"SAY IT!"

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!"

"If that's how you wanna go then…"

"OK! OK! UNCLE! UNCLE!!" Santa yelled in anguish. Vegeta then started to pummel his head in.

"This is for stealing my action figures!! And this is for the presents I never got!! AND THIS IS FOR ALL THE SOCKS THAT WERE LOST COZ OF YOUR INSANITY!! FINAL…FLAAAAAASH!!" Vegeta yelled dusting Santa. The kids cheered.

"You killed Santa Claus! Cool breeze dad!" Trunks said. Vegeta merely smirked. The adults all stared at him with wide-eyes.

"What is everyone staring at? Let's eat!" Vegeta said.

"But Vegeta! We just ate! How can you be hungry again?!" Bulma exclaimed.

"A good fight always makes me hungry. You should know that by now onna!" Vegeta laughed. As Bulma and Vegeta argued the others followed them inside.

"You know Chi-Chi, some good did come out of this." Goku commented as he put his arm around her.

"You mean because we stopped an evil tyrant from brainwashing all the people of the Earth through TV specials and product endorsements and therefore saving humanity and the real meaning of Christmas holiday?" Chi-Chi asked. Goku looked at her and blinked. He then blushed and laughed sheepishly.

"I actually meant that this year it wasn't my fault that the backyard got trashed and that you're not mad at me! Hehehe!" Goku laughed. Chi-Chi face-faulted.

"Son Goku, I sometimes wonder what you're made of…" Chi-Chi muttered.

The End!

Well, it may not have been a good ending but it was the best I could come up with darn it! Anyhoo, happy holidays everyone!