Disclaimer- The characters belong to J.K. Rowling but the idea was mine.

Snape Gets A Life

Written By Peppermint Patty

* Dumbledore is talking*

Dumbledore- We are starting a new tradition in which you will be giving gifts to someone. Professor Mcgonagal please do take over.

McGonagall- When I call your name do so come up and take a slip of paper. Students please note teachers are included. Lavender Brown.

Harry- If teachers are included and you just happen to get a teacher, that is just plain disgusting.

McGonagall- Harry Potter.

Hermione- Harry who did you get?

Harry- Snape

Hermione- Sorry but I didn't hear you.

Harry- I got, I got, I got Snape

Ron- Well at least you didn't get Parvati Patil.

Crabbe- Uh, I got Professor Trelawney.

Malfoy- I got Potter. I know the perfect gift.

Crabbe- So do I, I am gonna get her a new tea set.

Malfoy- Can you even afford that?

Crabbe- Uh no, I can borrow my parents' money.

Malfoy- Don't you still owe them 468 galleons?

Crabbe- Yes, I mean no.

Malfoy- I'll take that as a yes.

Harry- What am I supposed to get Snape? Body parts?

Ron- Deodorant.

Hermione- Why deodorant?

Ron- He smells bad.

Hermione- I was thinking of a gift certificate for psychiatric help.

Lavender- Who are you shopping for?

Harry- Snape.

Lavender- How about a book on self-esteem?

Parvati- Snape needs a new life.

* Everyone starts laughing while Hermione runs to the library*

Hermione- Thank you Madam Pince.

Madam Pince- You're welcome Miss Granger.

* Hermione runs back to the common room carrying a large book*

Ron- Let me guess a little light reading!?

Hermione- No, this book has a potion that will make Snape have a whole new life. First, I have to write this recipe down because this book is due tomorrow.

* She starts writing down the recipe in a hurry*

Malfoy- Now I will put the worm guts inside the apple for Potter.

Crabbe- I am going to buy the new tea set now.

Goyle- Crabbe has a, what's that word again?

Malfoy- Shut-up.

Goyle- Crabbe has a shut up a shut up.

Hermione- Ok everyone, here is a piece of parchment with one ingredient you need to get me.

*hands out pieces of paper*

Parvati- Owl pellets, nasty.

Hermione- ok I am finished, now to get Snape to eat this potion.

Neville- I am so hungry. I'm going to get some pies.

Hermione- That's it! I will make a pie and add the potion to it. Then give it to him.

ONE HOUR LATER

Hermione- Okay Harry, all you have to do is give this pie to Snape. Don't eat it.

Harry- Okay.

* Leaves to give Snape the pie*

Snape- yummy, a pie.

* He eats the pie*

ONE DAY LATER

Snape- Feeling, feeling KIND. Oh my this place is so dirty better start cleaning. Cleaning, cleaning how I love my cleaning.

Harry- Is it me or is Snape cleaning?

Ron- He is cleaning.

Snape- 50 points for Gryffindor.

Harry- Snape is actually awarding our house points?!

Ron- Yeah!

Snape- Ok everyone gets 100 points for their house!

Treelawny- Thank you for the lovely tea set Vincent.

Crabbe- Ah it was nothin'.

Treelawny- you really didn't have to.

* Malfoy starts gagging because it was so disgusting watching them*

Snape- Harry you have changed my life. Thank you. 500 points to your house.

Wood- Harry I have no idea what you did to Snape but it made us win the house cup.

NEXT SEPTEMBER

Snape- Detention Potter.

1 THE END