Disclaimer- The characters belong to J.K. Rowling but the idea was mine.
Snape Gets A Life
Written By Peppermint Patty
* Dumbledore is talking*
Dumbledore- We are starting a new tradition in which you will be giving gifts to someone. Professor Mcgonagal please do take over.
McGonagall- When I call your name do so come up and take a slip of paper. Students please note teachers are included. Lavender Brown.
Harry- If teachers are included and you just happen to get a teacher, that is just plain disgusting.
McGonagall- Harry Potter.
Hermione- Harry who did you get?
Harry- Snape
Hermione- Sorry but I didn't hear you.
Harry- I got, I got, I got Snape
Ron- Well at least you didn't get Parvati Patil.
Crabbe- Uh, I got Professor Trelawney.
Malfoy- I got Potter. I know the perfect gift.
Crabbe- So do I, I am gonna get her a new tea set.
Malfoy- Can you even afford that?
Crabbe- Uh no, I can borrow my parents' money.
Malfoy- Don't you still owe them 468 galleons?
Crabbe- Yes, I mean no.
Malfoy- I'll take that as a yes.
Harry- What am I supposed to get Snape? Body parts?
Ron- Deodorant.
Hermione- Why deodorant?
Ron- He smells bad.
Hermione- I was thinking of a gift certificate for psychiatric help.
Lavender- Who are you shopping for?
Harry- Snape.
Lavender- How about a book on self-esteem?
Parvati- Snape needs a new life.
* Everyone starts laughing while Hermione runs to the library*
Hermione- Thank you Madam Pince.
Madam Pince- You're welcome Miss Granger.
* Hermione runs back to the common room carrying a large book*
Ron- Let me guess a little light reading!?
Hermione- No, this book has a potion that will make Snape have a whole new life. First, I have to write this recipe down because this book is due tomorrow.
* She starts writing down the recipe in a hurry*
Malfoy- Now I will put the worm guts inside the apple for Potter.
Crabbe- I am going to buy the new tea set now.
Goyle- Crabbe has a, what's that word again?
Malfoy- Shut-up.
Goyle- Crabbe has a shut up a shut up.
Hermione- Ok everyone, here is a piece of parchment with one ingredient you need to get me.
*hands out pieces of paper*
Parvati- Owl pellets, nasty.
Hermione- ok I am finished, now to get Snape to eat this potion.
Neville- I am so hungry. I'm going to get some pies.
Hermione- That's it! I will make a pie and add the potion to it. Then give it to him.
ONE HOUR LATER
Hermione- Okay Harry, all you have to do is give this pie to Snape. Don't eat it.
Harry- Okay.
* Leaves to give Snape the pie*
Snape- yummy, a pie.
* He eats the pie*
ONE DAY LATER
Snape- Feeling, feeling KIND. Oh my this place is so dirty better start cleaning. Cleaning, cleaning how I love my cleaning.
Harry- Is it me or is Snape cleaning?
Ron- He is cleaning.
Snape- 50 points for Gryffindor.
Harry- Snape is actually awarding our house points?!
Ron- Yeah!
Snape- Ok everyone gets 100 points for their house!
Treelawny- Thank you for the lovely tea set Vincent.
Crabbe- Ah it was nothin'.
Treelawny- you really didn't have to.
* Malfoy starts gagging because it was so disgusting watching them*
Snape- Harry you have changed my life. Thank you. 500 points to your house.
Wood- Harry I have no idea what you did to Snape but it made us win the house cup.
NEXT SEPTEMBER
Snape- Detention Potter.
1 THE END
Snape Gets A Life
Written By Peppermint Patty
* Dumbledore is talking*
Dumbledore- We are starting a new tradition in which you will be giving gifts to someone. Professor Mcgonagal please do take over.
McGonagall- When I call your name do so come up and take a slip of paper. Students please note teachers are included. Lavender Brown.
Harry- If teachers are included and you just happen to get a teacher, that is just plain disgusting.
McGonagall- Harry Potter.
Hermione- Harry who did you get?
Harry- Snape
Hermione- Sorry but I didn't hear you.
Harry- I got, I got, I got Snape
Ron- Well at least you didn't get Parvati Patil.
Crabbe- Uh, I got Professor Trelawney.
Malfoy- I got Potter. I know the perfect gift.
Crabbe- So do I, I am gonna get her a new tea set.
Malfoy- Can you even afford that?
Crabbe- Uh no, I can borrow my parents' money.
Malfoy- Don't you still owe them 468 galleons?
Crabbe- Yes, I mean no.
Malfoy- I'll take that as a yes.
Harry- What am I supposed to get Snape? Body parts?
Ron- Deodorant.
Hermione- Why deodorant?
Ron- He smells bad.
Hermione- I was thinking of a gift certificate for psychiatric help.
Lavender- Who are you shopping for?
Harry- Snape.
Lavender- How about a book on self-esteem?
Parvati- Snape needs a new life.
* Everyone starts laughing while Hermione runs to the library*
Hermione- Thank you Madam Pince.
Madam Pince- You're welcome Miss Granger.
* Hermione runs back to the common room carrying a large book*
Ron- Let me guess a little light reading!?
Hermione- No, this book has a potion that will make Snape have a whole new life. First, I have to write this recipe down because this book is due tomorrow.
* She starts writing down the recipe in a hurry*
Malfoy- Now I will put the worm guts inside the apple for Potter.
Crabbe- I am going to buy the new tea set now.
Goyle- Crabbe has a, what's that word again?
Malfoy- Shut-up.
Goyle- Crabbe has a shut up a shut up.
Hermione- Ok everyone, here is a piece of parchment with one ingredient you need to get me.
*hands out pieces of paper*
Parvati- Owl pellets, nasty.
Hermione- ok I am finished, now to get Snape to eat this potion.
Neville- I am so hungry. I'm going to get some pies.
Hermione- That's it! I will make a pie and add the potion to it. Then give it to him.
ONE HOUR LATER
Hermione- Okay Harry, all you have to do is give this pie to Snape. Don't eat it.
Harry- Okay.
* Leaves to give Snape the pie*
Snape- yummy, a pie.
* He eats the pie*
ONE DAY LATER
Snape- Feeling, feeling KIND. Oh my this place is so dirty better start cleaning. Cleaning, cleaning how I love my cleaning.
Harry- Is it me or is Snape cleaning?
Ron- He is cleaning.
Snape- 50 points for Gryffindor.
Harry- Snape is actually awarding our house points?!
Ron- Yeah!
Snape- Ok everyone gets 100 points for their house!
Treelawny- Thank you for the lovely tea set Vincent.
Crabbe- Ah it was nothin'.
Treelawny- you really didn't have to.
* Malfoy starts gagging because it was so disgusting watching them*
Snape- Harry you have changed my life. Thank you. 500 points to your house.
Wood- Harry I have no idea what you did to Snape but it made us win the house cup.
NEXT SEPTEMBER
Snape- Detention Potter.
1 THE END
