If all the world's gone crazy....


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing
Title: The Minds' Truth
Author: neekabe
Warnings: PG-13 for strangeness...
A/N: Feedback of all kinds is greatly appreciated. I'm not pickey ^_^
email: neekabe@canoemail.com


Chapter 1
"If all the worlds gone crazy...."

Subject: 01
Status: Tests have started, problems discovered from the beginning. We cannot tell if he accepts everything or nothing as reality. He seems unaffected by the simulations and is totally unpredictable. He is apparently random in when faced with situations that require killing. We suspect that he is doing this because he knows about the VR and he knows were monitoring him, however we can prove nothing. He needs something more in order to break him for our purposes. It was discovered that he feels great guilt from a previous failure, involving the death of a small girl. Hell begins today.


***


He moved towards the table, watching with interest the boy strapped to it. The child was trembling, covered with sweat. Muscles spasmed as Heero fought against the current simulation. Then suddenly something passed across his face and he stilled, everything relaxing.

Erlking leaned across the table, checking the monitors. He was still alive. But... he flicked a switch on the video screen. It now showed the simulation.
Heero was still there. But he was just standing there in the middle of a Hell created especially for him. Staring at nothing, just thinking, considering something.
Then the boy's head turned, faced up. He appeared to be staring straight at the screen Erlking was watching, though he should not have been able to tell where it was. Heero glared at the screen.

This wasn't right. Fear welled up in Erlking at the intensity of they boys gaze.

Erlking flipped on some more buttons, the speed of his movements betraying his rising panic at this subject's reaction. Finally everything was in place. Erlking was determined to break this boy. A punch of a button and Heero was sent deeper into Hell.

Heero blinked and the world spun. Swirling randomly around him, constantly changing. All his senses died for a moment. The came back one by one and he wished he could have just stayed blind and deaf. The world was filled with burning wreckage, dead bodies. Smells of fire and smoke, burning flesh assaulted his nose. This was war at its truest form. This was war without the propaganda, without the ideas of right or wrong, good or evil. This was simply the slaughter and the death. He couldn't find anything to focus on, couldn't find his bearings. There was something he should know. He had figured it out only moments before… he shook his head trying for a moment to clear it from the haze and confusion he now lived in. This environment was too turbulent to concentrate on anything

Out of the night Heero heard the cry of a small child, a girl. She sounded lost and alone. Perhaps the only survivor of this nightmare. Fire and smoke surrounded him, searing his flesh, burning his lungs. He couldn't see her, couldn't pinpoint her position in the dark, murky vapor. The cries surrounded him harassing him from everywhere, giving no hint as he tried to find a direction. As he waited in indecision, the crying faded into a desperate whimper. She was still wanting, but she no longer expected anyone. Heero searched frantically. He refused to let this girl die. Refused to loose this small bit of innocence in a world of ruin. He found no one. Nothing but dark, smoke and flames. They swirled around him, giving no reference. There was nothing he could take a fix on, nothing stable. The world spun and sounds surrounded him. The wind howled as it tore at his clothes, flames snapped as they sent burning sparks into his flesh.

Then it all sound stopped. The girl no longer cried. All was silent for a moment until another sound came up. The desolate wail of a puppy mourning its mistress.
Heero's heart broke at the sound.

He had failed her once again. Again he was too late. He stumbled though the chaos, uncaring of his own pains. The physical meant nothing; maybe it could end this mental anguish that tore him up from the inside. A dark shadow of a figure appeared out of the smoke. He approached warily. A gunshot sounded, and he fell into a crouch reaching for a gun he didn't have. The dogs pathetic whimpering cut of suddenly.
He closed cautiously in on the figure and saw Duo there. He reached for him, Duo, something solid. Duo one of the handful of people he would call friend, one of the few people he would trust to guard his back.

A breeze came up, momentarily clearing the smoke, bringing a breath of fresh air into the burning land.

However it also cleared the smoke enough to see the gun in Duo's hand.

And the remains of a dog at Duo's feet, it's blood spattered over the once white dress of a little girl.

"You should have been here sooner Heero..." Duo's voice was accusatory as he glared up at his one time friend. All the laughter in him was gone.

Unsympathetic voices hammered down at him from all sides
"You could have done something"
"It was you're responsibility"
"It was your fault'
"You had the power to change things and you didn't"
"You failed when it really mattered"
"You failed her"
"Failure!"
"You failed death even"
"Can't do anything right"
"Fault!"

"Duo…?" Voice hard he moved towards his comrade and stopped as Duo's head came up. Duo's eyes were haunted as he folded up over his arms, clutching his stomach. Heero saw blood drip to the ground. Stomach wound. It guaranteed a slow, painful death.
"Why...?" Duo's voice held him responsible and Heero was confused for a moment. Confused until he saw the smoking gun clutched in his own trembling hand.
Heero collapsed to his knees overwhelmed by everything pounding in on him. He clutched his head in his hands trying to make the voices go away; trying to block out the sights of betrayal. There was no escape from anything. No way to find himself again.

"Your fault"
"He betrayed you"
"You betrayed him"
"You're not worth it"
"Friend betraying friend. Friend killing friend!"
"The worlds gone mad and it's all you fault"

NO

This is not.

A burst of pure will. Everything stopped. Nothing moved, just like he was walking in a still photo. Nothing was but Heero.

"When all the world's gone crazy I'll believe in myself and keep fighting"

Keep fighting. Never give up.

He took a deep breath closing his eyes, ignoring the eerily still world around him. He relaxed totally, for the second time that day. Focusing himself completely on what needed to be done. Finishing what he had tried to start before.

He was totally still for a while. Centering on something that didn't exist. Preparing. Then his arm shot up and out. His eyes still closed, he grabbed something in the air. Something that did not exist where he was.

Still fiercely concentrating on something else, his lips moved and his voice came out hard and cold. "Take me out of here." He felt non- existent blood trickle down his arm and drip of his elbow.

Heero blinked as he sat up, pulling his other limbs free with his one bloodied hand. Erlking stood back from the table, the evil glint in his eyes not quite hiding the fear from Heero. This one was simply too strong. He should not have been able to work between worlds like he just had done.

"How do you even know that this is reality?" It was the only way Erlking could think of to regain control of the situation. Make him doubt, make him think. Stall until he could get an advantage.

"Why would I care?"

The words so carelessly uttered echoed in Erlking's mind as he backed out the door, keeping the table between him and Heero. There was no way to tell the difference between a good illusion and reality. It was just as easy to create the illusion of taking off the unit as any other think and he knew Heero knew that to. But...he didn't care?

Erlking slipped out the door, leaving Heero alone to deal with disconnecting himself. As he walked down the hallway he hit a button, sealing the cell and filling it with gas. There was to be no evidence of their failures.

A clang and a slight hiss were all that alerted Heero. They had sealed this cell and were terminating their project. His captor's question and subsequent confusion stuck in Heero's mind as he searched to a way out.
Why would I care? I know I exist. I cannot control the world but I can always control myself. It does not matter if it's real or not. No one can do anything to me unless I let them. No one can touch me.

Standing on the table covered in his own blood and sweat, he used a section on the metal shackle to pry open the vent. His movements quick and precise. He had a goal in mind and he would either achieve it or die trying. Not that he had much choice.
A thunk signaled his victory, as the locks finally gave way.

As long as there's life, there's hope. He pulled himself up into the ventilation systems

I will survive.





**end***