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PART 4 I Thought I Heard Your Voice


"As long as I'm with you... As long as you're by my side... I
won't give up even if I'm scared."

Cloud uncrossed his arms and looked at Tifa. "...... Tifa......"

She moved her arms behind her. "No matter how close we
are... We were far apart...before this. But when we were in the
Lifestream surrounded by all those screams of anguish, I thought
I heard your voice..." She closed her eyes, crying softly. Her
arms fell to her sides and she bowed her head. "...sniff...you
probably don't remember this... But deep in my heart I heard
you calling my name... Or at least I thought I did..."

Cloud looked away and put a hand to his face. "Yeah... At
that time I heard you calling me. You were calling me back in
from the stream of consciousness in the Lifestream." He
lowered his hand and nodded. "After all, I promised. That if
anything were to ever happen to you, I would come to help."

Tifa opened her eyes and looked up. "Cloud...? Do you
think the stars can hear us? Do you think they see how hard
we're fighting for them?"

Cloud looked up at the sky. "I dunno... But... Whether they
are or not, we still have to do what we can. And believe in
ourselves... Someday we'll find the answer. Right, Tifa?
That's what I learned from you when I was in the Lifestream."

She nodded. "Yeah......that's right..."

"Hey, Tifa......I...... There are a lot of things I wanted to
talk to you about." He shook his head slowly. "But now that
we're together like this, I don't know what I really wanted to
say... I guess nothing's changed at all... Kind of makes you
want to laugh..."

Tifa shook her head. "Cloud... Words aren't the only thing
that tell people what you're thinking..."

Cloud looked at her. She straightened her hair.

"............"





~*~*~*~





'...' Tifa put her hand on the window as a tear trickled
down her cheek, much like the raindrops outside. 'Cloud...
Where...are you...?'

Cloud was gone for five days now. Zack was out looking
for him for the last three days.


(flashback)

"Tifa?"

Tifa looked up.

"You okay?" Zack asked with a semblance of concern
on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Tifa lied. Cloud had not come home
in two days and she was very worried about him. What
if he was in a coma and she never knew? What if he had
gotten amnesia and forgot everything? What if he had...
died?

Zack could see as plain as day that Tifa was worried
out of her mind. It was definitely not good for her, to
worry so much. He put on his coat and headed for the door.

"Wh-Where are you going?" Tifa asked.

"To look for Cloud," Zack replied.

"I-I want to come with you!"

"No. Stay here. You need to rest. Don't worry about me
or Cloud. I'm sure he's fine. Probably just drunk out of his
mind somewhere. Stay here. I'm gonna find him. He'll come
back to you safe and sound."

"But, I---" Too late. Zack was already gone.


(end flashback)


'How can I possibly rest peacefully when I know Cloud is
out there? He's probably bleeding somewhere! Oh Cloud...
Please come home soon...'

Tifa jumped when the door started to open. She kept her
eyes on the door, waiting to see who was on the other side.
She stood up when she saw Cloud come in.

"Damn," Cloud said. "I thought you were asleep."

"I'm so glad to see you're alive and well, Cloud!" Tifa said
as tears of joy started to fill her eyes. "Where were you?"

"It's none of your business," Cloud replied coldly.

Tifa was shocked at his answer. "C-Cloud...are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be? I'm here to get
something so if you don't mind---?"

"B-But you just came home!"

"This is more important, Tif. Just let me get what I need
and I'll go."

"No, Cloud! Stay here! Please!"

Cloud ignored her and went into his bedroom. Tifa followed
him.

"W-Where are you going?" Tifa asked as she saw Cloud
starting to pack up his things in a suitcase. Cloud didn't
respond. "T-Tell me where you're going!"

"It's none of your business, Tifa! Just leave me alone!"

Tifa's eyes widened. "Cloud, what's the matter with you?!"
she demanded as she grabbed onto his arm. Cloud pushed
her away.

"What the fuck's the matter with YOU???!!! God damn,
just leave me alone, Tifa!!!"

"B-But, Cloud..."

"GOD!!!!!!!!!" Cloud yelled as he glared at Tifa on the floor.
"Why can't you be more like Aeris?! Huh???!!! Why???!!!
She'd never piss me off like this! She's so much more
considerate, more understanding! Why can't you be more
like her???!!!"

Tifa felt her tears sting her eyes. She quickly got up and
punched Cloud hard in the face. The impact of her hit made
Cloud fall to the floor. She looked down at him with teary
eyes filled with anger.

"Why can't you just get her out of your mind, Cloud?!" she
screamed. "She's gone! DEAD!!! She's never coming back!!!"

Cloud stood up and slapped her. "Don't you ever say that
to me again!!!" His voice was trembly.

Tifa glared at him. "What?! It's true!"

He slapped her again. "Shut the fuck up!!!"

"You can't tell me what to do!!!"

Cloud continued packing his things hastily. He rushed out
of the room as Tifa followed.

"She's gone, Cloud, she's gone!!!" Tifa said.

"SHUT UP!!!"

"She's never coming back!"

Cloud hit her in the stomach. "Shut...the fuck up...bitch..."
He stormed out the apartment, leaving a heart-broken Tifa
Lockheart on the floor. She breathed hard as she stared at
the ceiling. Tears were streaming down her face. 'Cloud...
Why can't you...just...accept...that she's...gone...?'





~*~*~*~





Zack hung his head in defeat as he entered the apartment.
'What will Tifa do when she finds out I couldn't find him?' he
thought. He looked up and saw a sleeping Tifa on the floor.
He went over to her and saw her tear-stained cheeks. He
gently picked her up and carried her into her room. He tucked
her in. 'Damn Cloud...' he thought. 'How can you not see
how much you're hurting Tifa?'

He started to walk out the door but stopped when he heard
Tifa muttering in her sleep.

"Cloud..." she said. "Please...don't love her... Love...me..."

Zack looked at her sorrowfully and closed the door.





~*~*~*~





Zack put the chairs up as Tifa was at the wiping the
counter. He watched her with concern. She had been
acting strangely all day. They hadn't spoken one word to
each other.

"I'm gonna wash up before we leave, okay, Tifa?" Zack
said when he finished putting all the chairs up. Tifa
nodded, not once looking up.

Zack splashed his face with water. 'What the hell happened
to her...?' he wondered as he wiped his face with a towel.
He went to the small bedroom to get his coat but stopped
when he found Tifa standing by the doorway.

"Tifa...?" he said. "What's the matter?"

Her eyes were focused on the floor. "Zack..." she began,
barely audible. "I...I don't care if you leave me or not
tomorrow...but...I just...want you...to do something for me...
just...this once..."

"W-What is it...?"

"I know we haven't known each other for a long time...but...
this is all...I ask of you... I don't want you to back down...
all right?"

"I'll do anything for you, Tifa, just name it."

"Zack, could you please..." Tifa slowly walked closer towards
him. "Could you please..." She buried her face in his chest.
"Could you please...hold me...for just one night...?"

"T-Tifa..."

Tifa looked up at him, her ruby brown eyes shining with tears
in the moonlight. "P-Please..." she pleaded. "Just for tonight..."

Zack stared down at her. Tears streamed down her cheeks.
He finally gave in and wrapped his arms around her. "And I
promise...I'll never let go..."





~*~*~*~





Tifa fluttered her eyes. It was the middle of the night. She
found herself enclosed in strong arms. The two naked bodies
were wrapped in a thin blanket and covered in sweat after
a night filled with passion. Tifa looked up and to her surprise,
found Zack's blue eyes staring down at her.

'That's right...' she thought. 'I...he...we were...'

"Zack," she whispered.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"Zack, I..." she began. "I'm...sorry..."

"For what?"

"I...I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't thinking right."
She buried her face in his bare chest. "I'm so sorry..."

"Tifa..."

"I used you. I'm such a bad person." She slowly looked back
up at him. "Why did you let me do it?"

"Why did YOU let me?"

"I... Zack... I want to tell you that...I never meant for this
to happen..."

"Tifa...do you love Cloud?"

Tifa didn't answer but the look in her eyes told him everything.

"I see..." Zack said. "So then...I'M the one who's supposed
to be sorry. You wanted it to be him all along, didn't you?"

Tifa shut her eyes. "I'm really...sor---" She was stopped and
looked up when Zack put a finger to her lips.

"Do you always have to do that?" Zack asked. "Always
apologizing?"

"It's just...that I..."

He pressed his finger harder on her lips to silence her. "I
hate seeing you risking your own happiness for others. I'm
damn sick of it, Tifa. So stop apologizing. You've said enough
'I'm sorry's. Why the hell do you want to be with Cloud
anyway? When all you do is make HIM happy and not you?"

"But Cloud does make me happy. If he's happy, I am, too."

Zack hesitated for a while. "Why do you love him? When you
know he doesn't..."

"I know he does," Tifa said, cutting him off. "Deep in my
heart, I know Cloud loves me. It's just that...he hasn't
found that out for himself yet. Because in the Lifestream, I
heard him call my name... I knew he needed me..."

"How are you so sure about that? Was it true or was it
just your wishful thinking, huh, Tifa?"

"I-I know...it was true..."

"Then...if it is true...I'll hold you...just for tonight..."

Tifa felt Zack tighten his hold of her. There was something
inside her that didn't want it to be just for tonight but
everything else protested. Her mind told her that she loved
Cloud and he did, too but her heart wasn't the safe as
before. There was a little part of her that felt differently. She
snuggled closer to Zack. 'Was it real...or just my wishful
thinking...?'