--------------------------------------------------------------
PART 5 Regret
Tifa awoke to find that she was sleeping next to no one. She
sat up and looked around the small room of the bar. Why were
her clothes on the floor? She looked in under the sheets and
saw that she had nothing on. What had happened?
She got up, dragging the sheets along with her to cover up
her body as she went over to the bathroom. She splashed her
face with ice cold water and left the water running for a while
as she tried to remember what had happened. She could only
remember that Cloud had left her and was bound not to
return. Those memories tore at her heart and she could no
longer try to remember why she had woke up like that because
in doing so, it brought back the painful memories of the
other night.
She put on her clothes and decided not to open the bar that
day. As she headed out towards the door, she noticed that
a pair of gloves were left on the counter. She immediately
recognized them as Zack's.
'Zack...' It was all coming back to her now. 'He and I...'
She slowly began to remember what had happened last
night. 'Cloud...'
She finally remembered. Cloud had left her the night before
and so then she and Zack...
'NO!!!' she screamed in her mind. 'How could I do this?
How could I do this to him???!!!'
She looked at the gloves. He probably left them because
he was in such a hurry. But why did he leave? Didn't he
care about her? She shook her head. Why did she care
about why Zack was gone or not? They had barely known
each other. But...still...
'...Oh Zack...'
~*~*~*~
Tifa got up from her bed. Cloud's scent still lingered on
her pillows. It was just impossible to sleep. But she had to
sleep. It had been a week already. She couldn't let herself
suffer like that. She couldn't let the bar suffer like that.
Without Cloud, she had to take care of herself now. She
quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes as she went
over to the living room. She sat down by the window and
looked at the stars.
She looked away and closed the curtains. Even they
brought back painful memories. She ignored the tears
streaming down her cheeks and curled up into a ball.
'Stupid stars...' she thought. 'Always making people believe
that their wishes will come true... They don't give a damn
about other people's lives... Wishing on a star...what crap...'
Her uncontrollable sobbing was starting to hurt but she
couldn't stop. The tears kept on coming and it seemed
endless. She wanted to stop so badly but it was just so
hard. She missed Cloud so much.
'Why can't I stop crying?!'
She stumbled to the floor in an attempt to get to the
kitchen. 'Damn it!!! I have to stop!!!'
She used up all the strength she had to drag herself over
to the kitchen. She used the counter to support her as she
opened a drawer and took out a long, sharp knife. She took
it in both her hands and prepared to thrust it in her aching
heart.
'This is...'
She raised the knife higher.
'For you...'
The door started to open. But she didn't notice because
all she was focusing on was the sharp blade in her hands,
ready to plunge into her body and stop the tears.
'Cloud...'
"Tifa?" Zack called out. He looked around the house and
then spotted Tifa in the kitchen, about to shove the knife
into her chest. He immediately rushed to her and pushed
the knife out of her hand as the both fell down to the
ground. Tifa glimpsed up at him before breaking down in a
fit of tears.
"Tifa..." he whispered.
"W-Why..." Tifa asked through her sobs. "Why did you stop
me?!"
Zack sat up on the floor and took Tifa into his arms. "Because
I...care for you... Why were you trying to kill yourself???!!!"
Tifa buried her face in his chest. "I love him so much... Now
that he's gone, I don't know what else to do! I don't know
how to stop these tears!"
"Weren't you the one who didn't want me to kill myself just
because Aeris died? Weren't you the one who said I shouldn't
give up on living?"
"That was different!"
"How so?"
Tifa pounded on his chest with her fist. "It just is, okay!!!
Let me go! Please, leave me alone!!!"
Zack held her tighter, ignoring her request.
Tifa slowly stopped her pounding and just cried on his chest.
"It...just...is..."
"Because it's happening to you and not me?"
"I just...wanna...stop these tears... They just won't go
away unless I end my life..."
Zack lifted her chin so that he could look her in those
water-filled eyes of hers. He wiped away the tears. "You
know that...I'll always be there to stop those tears of
yours..."
Tifa squeezed her eyes shut and lowered her gaze. Her
sobbing gradually settled down and she then fell into a
deep slumber.
~*~*~*~
Tifa woke up, finding herself wrapped in someone's arms.
'Oh no...' she thought. 'Don't tell me that I...'
She stopped her thought when she felt the person move
away from her and get up. She quickly shut her eyes and
pretended to be asleep. When she heard silence, she opened
her eyes for a moment then shut it once again. Too late.
Zack had already seen her. She opened her eyes and sat
up, very relieved in discovering that she had her clothes on.
"Good morning," Zack greeted.
"Good morning," Tifa replied softly. She averted her gaze
to hide her blushing face. It was hard not to blush after
seeing Zack without his shirt on. He looked really good.
"I uh..." Zack began. Tifa looked up. He stared at her
for a while then looked away. "I uh...I'm sorry I was sleeping
on your bed... It's just...I tried to but when I left you on
your bed and you wouldn't let go, I had no other choice..."
"I'm sorry," Tifa said.
"Nothing to be sorry about! It's okay! Really! I actually...
liked..." He paused. "It's okay..."
Tifa lowered her head. "It... It's not just that, Zack... I'm
sorry for...that night when we..." Her eyes started to fill
up with tears. "I'm just really sorry for that!"
"It's all right, Tifa..."
"No, it's not! Not at all! I didn't know what I was doing.
Everything in my head was all screwed up. And if you
never forgive me then I can completely understand that.
If I could take it all back, I would..."
"So... You'd really wanna take it all back?"
Tifa nodded.
"That's how you feel, huh? Well, I have no regrets!"
She looked up at him. "W-What do you mean...?"
"I... It's nothing..."
"You don't regret that night? Not at all?"
Zack sighed. "No. Not at all. Not one bit. But...there is
one little thing I DO regret..."
Tifa gulped, almost afraid to ask. "W-What is that...?"
"I..." Zack walked over to the door and placed his hand
on the frame. "I... I just regret that...I didn't know you
a long time ago and it was Cloud...not me..."
Tifa stared at him, her heart beating faster. "Z-Zack..."
Zack shook his head. "I-I'm gonna go get dressed up
or something." He left, not once looking back at her.
'Zack... What did he mean by that...?'
~*~*~*~
The blonde young man looked up at the starry sky. It
brought back good memories. But with that were horrible,
unthinkably memories, too.
"Come in," a big, muscular man in a dark suit called out
to him. He entered the building and was led to an office.
He was left alone with a man sitting down, his chair facing
away from him.
"Cloud Strife, eh?" the man on the chair asked as he
turned the chair so he could see the young blonde. "I've
heard many interesting things about you. Come. Sit down
and we'll discuss this deal with the resurrection materia."
PART 5 Regret
Tifa awoke to find that she was sleeping next to no one. She
sat up and looked around the small room of the bar. Why were
her clothes on the floor? She looked in under the sheets and
saw that she had nothing on. What had happened?
She got up, dragging the sheets along with her to cover up
her body as she went over to the bathroom. She splashed her
face with ice cold water and left the water running for a while
as she tried to remember what had happened. She could only
remember that Cloud had left her and was bound not to
return. Those memories tore at her heart and she could no
longer try to remember why she had woke up like that because
in doing so, it brought back the painful memories of the
other night.
She put on her clothes and decided not to open the bar that
day. As she headed out towards the door, she noticed that
a pair of gloves were left on the counter. She immediately
recognized them as Zack's.
'Zack...' It was all coming back to her now. 'He and I...'
She slowly began to remember what had happened last
night. 'Cloud...'
She finally remembered. Cloud had left her the night before
and so then she and Zack...
'NO!!!' she screamed in her mind. 'How could I do this?
How could I do this to him???!!!'
She looked at the gloves. He probably left them because
he was in such a hurry. But why did he leave? Didn't he
care about her? She shook her head. Why did she care
about why Zack was gone or not? They had barely known
each other. But...still...
'...Oh Zack...'
~*~*~*~
Tifa got up from her bed. Cloud's scent still lingered on
her pillows. It was just impossible to sleep. But she had to
sleep. It had been a week already. She couldn't let herself
suffer like that. She couldn't let the bar suffer like that.
Without Cloud, she had to take care of herself now. She
quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes as she went
over to the living room. She sat down by the window and
looked at the stars.
She looked away and closed the curtains. Even they
brought back painful memories. She ignored the tears
streaming down her cheeks and curled up into a ball.
'Stupid stars...' she thought. 'Always making people believe
that their wishes will come true... They don't give a damn
about other people's lives... Wishing on a star...what crap...'
Her uncontrollable sobbing was starting to hurt but she
couldn't stop. The tears kept on coming and it seemed
endless. She wanted to stop so badly but it was just so
hard. She missed Cloud so much.
'Why can't I stop crying?!'
She stumbled to the floor in an attempt to get to the
kitchen. 'Damn it!!! I have to stop!!!'
She used up all the strength she had to drag herself over
to the kitchen. She used the counter to support her as she
opened a drawer and took out a long, sharp knife. She took
it in both her hands and prepared to thrust it in her aching
heart.
'This is...'
She raised the knife higher.
'For you...'
The door started to open. But she didn't notice because
all she was focusing on was the sharp blade in her hands,
ready to plunge into her body and stop the tears.
'Cloud...'
"Tifa?" Zack called out. He looked around the house and
then spotted Tifa in the kitchen, about to shove the knife
into her chest. He immediately rushed to her and pushed
the knife out of her hand as the both fell down to the
ground. Tifa glimpsed up at him before breaking down in a
fit of tears.
"Tifa..." he whispered.
"W-Why..." Tifa asked through her sobs. "Why did you stop
me?!"
Zack sat up on the floor and took Tifa into his arms. "Because
I...care for you... Why were you trying to kill yourself???!!!"
Tifa buried her face in his chest. "I love him so much... Now
that he's gone, I don't know what else to do! I don't know
how to stop these tears!"
"Weren't you the one who didn't want me to kill myself just
because Aeris died? Weren't you the one who said I shouldn't
give up on living?"
"That was different!"
"How so?"
Tifa pounded on his chest with her fist. "It just is, okay!!!
Let me go! Please, leave me alone!!!"
Zack held her tighter, ignoring her request.
Tifa slowly stopped her pounding and just cried on his chest.
"It...just...is..."
"Because it's happening to you and not me?"
"I just...wanna...stop these tears... They just won't go
away unless I end my life..."
Zack lifted her chin so that he could look her in those
water-filled eyes of hers. He wiped away the tears. "You
know that...I'll always be there to stop those tears of
yours..."
Tifa squeezed her eyes shut and lowered her gaze. Her
sobbing gradually settled down and she then fell into a
deep slumber.
~*~*~*~
Tifa woke up, finding herself wrapped in someone's arms.
'Oh no...' she thought. 'Don't tell me that I...'
She stopped her thought when she felt the person move
away from her and get up. She quickly shut her eyes and
pretended to be asleep. When she heard silence, she opened
her eyes for a moment then shut it once again. Too late.
Zack had already seen her. She opened her eyes and sat
up, very relieved in discovering that she had her clothes on.
"Good morning," Zack greeted.
"Good morning," Tifa replied softly. She averted her gaze
to hide her blushing face. It was hard not to blush after
seeing Zack without his shirt on. He looked really good.
"I uh..." Zack began. Tifa looked up. He stared at her
for a while then looked away. "I uh...I'm sorry I was sleeping
on your bed... It's just...I tried to but when I left you on
your bed and you wouldn't let go, I had no other choice..."
"I'm sorry," Tifa said.
"Nothing to be sorry about! It's okay! Really! I actually...
liked..." He paused. "It's okay..."
Tifa lowered her head. "It... It's not just that, Zack... I'm
sorry for...that night when we..." Her eyes started to fill
up with tears. "I'm just really sorry for that!"
"It's all right, Tifa..."
"No, it's not! Not at all! I didn't know what I was doing.
Everything in my head was all screwed up. And if you
never forgive me then I can completely understand that.
If I could take it all back, I would..."
"So... You'd really wanna take it all back?"
Tifa nodded.
"That's how you feel, huh? Well, I have no regrets!"
She looked up at him. "W-What do you mean...?"
"I... It's nothing..."
"You don't regret that night? Not at all?"
Zack sighed. "No. Not at all. Not one bit. But...there is
one little thing I DO regret..."
Tifa gulped, almost afraid to ask. "W-What is that...?"
"I..." Zack walked over to the door and placed his hand
on the frame. "I... I just regret that...I didn't know you
a long time ago and it was Cloud...not me..."
Tifa stared at him, her heart beating faster. "Z-Zack..."
Zack shook his head. "I-I'm gonna go get dressed up
or something." He left, not once looking back at her.
'Zack... What did he mean by that...?'
~*~*~*~
The blonde young man looked up at the starry sky. It
brought back good memories. But with that were horrible,
unthinkably memories, too.
"Come in," a big, muscular man in a dark suit called out
to him. He entered the building and was led to an office.
He was left alone with a man sitting down, his chair facing
away from him.
"Cloud Strife, eh?" the man on the chair asked as he
turned the chair so he could see the young blonde. "I've
heard many interesting things about you. Come. Sit down
and we'll discuss this deal with the resurrection materia."
