This is a filk of 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' that I made up when I was ten. My friend and I sang it for our school camp item, among other cracked carols that will be posted shortly. It's my Christmas gift to fanfiction.net. Merry Christmas! And a happy 2002!

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SINGER #1: "Randolph the radical reindeer-"

SINGER #2 (in an echoey-type way): "Reindeer!"

SINGER #1: "Had a stud through his nose!"

SINGER #2 (slightly nauseated): "Ow."

SINGER #1: "And if you ever saw it-"

SINGER #2: "Saw it!"

SINGER #1: "You would say-"

SINGER #2: "Ouch, that's gotta hurt!"

SINGER #1: "All the other radical reindeer-"

SINGER #2: "Reindeer!"

SINGER #1: "Used to laugh and call him names-"

SINGER #2: "Like 'Powerdrill'!"

SINGER #1: "They never let poor Randolph-"

SINGER #2: "Randolph!"

SINGER #1: "Join in any reindeer games-"

SINGER #2: "Like poker!" *SHE TAKES OUT A PACK OF CARDS AND SHUFFLES THEM, APPARENTLY FASCINATED. SINGER #1 THUMPS HER ON THE SHOULDER AND POINTS TO THE AUDIENCE. SINGER #2 GRUDGINGLY PUTS AWAY THE CARDS*

SINGER #1: "Then one freezing Christmas Eve, Santa came to say-"

SINGER #2: "'I'm on a diet!'"

SINGER #1: "Randolph with your groovy nose stud-" *REALLY GETTING INTO IT* "- won't you, um, come and perform at the, uh, shopping centre?" *SCUFFS A FOOT EMBARRASSEDLY*

SINGER #2 (in surfie voice): "Um, OK."

SINGER #1: "Then all the reindeer loved him."

*BOTH SIGH IN A LOVESICK KINDS WAY*

SINGER #1: "And they shouted out with glee-"

BOTH: "RANDOLPH!" *THEY PUMP THEIR FISTS IN THE AIR*

SINGER #1: "Randolph the Radical Reindeer, you'll go down in history!" *SHE THROWS HER ARMS WIDE*

SINGER #2 (pushes past and throws her arms even wider): "Like Emma Gree-ney!"