Newsies/MarySue Parody

This is all my own work, but Newsies (characters, etc.) is the property of Disney, so I don't get sued. Please enjoy, and please, for God's sake, review. REVIEW! Please, guys, R&R, I worked my butt off last night ('til 5:40 a.m.!) and it's not even done...just let me know what you think so far.

Ah...six a.m.: when things are just not funny anymore...


Chapter 2

When Kitty came to, she was in a warm bed, a blanket draped over her. She had a dull pain in her stomach, and she couldn't move any part of her face without it hurting incredibly. Her leg hurt, and there was a wound on her forehead, and her arm was split open, and held together with a dirty shoelace. She groaned.

" 'Ey! Yah awake!!" An unattractive blonde girl jumped up from her chair next to the bed Kitty was in. "Lucky! She's awake!" Kitty lifted her head in time to see a 3-foot-tall man with red hair and green clothes do a jig into her room.

"Ah! Faith and begorah! She is awake! Bless me lucky charms!" He hopped up on the bed and continued his jig. "Have ye seen me lucky charms, lass?" he asked Kitty. She blinked at him. His face fell, "Ah, I'm just here because of me ridiculous accent." He did a sad jig off the bed and out the door, to go retrieve Kloppman.

The blonde girl came up to Kitty's side. "I'm Streamah. I been watchin' ovah you fah da last five houahs. We all been takin' toins makin' suah yah okay."

"We all?"

((author's note: i put all these names out of the new yawk accent because they're hard to read like that...and besides, shifting in and out of the accent is part of the whole experience, isn't it?! *grin*))

"Da newsies...foist deah's Cowboy, den Race, Blink, Mush, Skittery, Bumlets, Specs, Itey, Snipeshooter, Davey, Les, Snoddy, and Spot, and den all da goils, Dirt, Sludge, Static, Wet Noodle, Driftwood, East River Water, Myrtle, Harry, and a coise we got da dog, Big Ruff Ruff, Sarah named him, and da cats, Fat and Stupid. What's yah name?"

Kitty blinked at her. "I...I can't remembah..."

"Ya can't remembah?!" Streamer shrieked. "Ya must have amnesia!"

"Amnesia?"

"Yeah, ya can't remembah anyt'in'. Dat means ya got amnesia."

By this time, the fog had rolled off of Kitty's brain and she remembered who she was. "But I do rememb-..."

Just then Kloppman burst in. "How's my patient?"

Streamer hollered, "She's got amnesia! She don't remembah anyt'in'."

Kitty raised her voice to protest. "I do remembah. I'm Ekaterina Kakopoulos, boahn in-..."

But Kloppman interrupted her. "Amnesia! Oh no! And I thought my work was so good! So beautiful..." Kloppman trailed off and stared lovingly at the gangrenous stitching in Kitty's arm. "Used my best shoelace on it, and everything..." He sighed dreamily. "I always wanted to be a doctor."

Before Kitty could respond this time, a horde of newsies burst through the door, apparently all selling their last papers at the same time, and in the same place, because they all appeared at the door at the exact same time, squeezing to get into the bunkroom. Random shouts of, "How's da new goil?" and "Who took my socks? Ya joiks! Dose wah me best socks!" echoed through the bunkroom.

Streamer shouted, "She's got amnesia, nobody touch her..."

Jack Kelly, otherwise known as Cowboy, stepped up to Kitty's bed. "How ya feelin'?"

"I'm f-..."

"Dey call me Cowboy," Jack said, cutting her off. "I'm da leadah of da Manhattan newsies, and everyone heah does what I say."

Kid Blink, a young man with an eyepatch, rolled his eyes behind Jack. Kitty smirked. "Who ah all a ya?"

They all said their respective names, all at once, and it all came out as a big jumble of speech. Kitty grinned.

"Eh, it don't mattah," Jack said. "Dey're all a bunch a bums anyway. What mattahs is who ah you?"

Streamer called out again. "I tol' ya, she's got amnesia!"

Kitty rolled her eyes. "I don't have amnesia. I'm Kitty. Kitty Kakopoulos."

From somewhere in the back of the group, she heard a loud gasp. "KITTY?!" Specs pushed his way through the crowd. "What ah ya doin' heah?!"

"Themi!" Kitty shouted and tried to leap out of bed to hug him, but remembered her leg was broken in fifteen places...and after that look of Kloppman's she really didn't trust his doctoring abilities.

The band of newsies said in unison, "Themi?!"

Specs hugged Kitty tightly. "I missed ya, sis." He grinned and put his newsie cap on her head and stood up to face the guys. "And she blew me covah. I ain't Specs. In fact, I don' need dese t'ings ta read."

He tossed his glasses off, and they landed on Lucky's head. "Faith and begorah!"

"I'm really Themi. I came heah from da futchah," Themi finished. Everone gawked at him. "I know, it's hahd ta believe."

Racetrack, an Italian boy, interrupted. "No, it ain't. We's just sick a you guys comin' ta bother us. We's tryin' ta make a decent livin', and all these goils keep beamin' in wit deah strange futchahristic t'ings." He held up a video camera. "Like dis. A goil gave me dis da last time dey was t'rough heah. What am I gonna do wit dis? I mean, I ain't got a VCR or a computah, or whatevah ya call 'em."

Specs ignored him, he was off and running with this futuristic bit. "We come from a different time, a different place, we got different t'ings, like video cameras, computers, VCRs..." Race rolled his eyes. "It may be hahd fah you guys ta comprehend, but we got dese t'ings called automobiles..."

" 'Ey, stupid...we already got dose!" someone called from the back.

Kloppman stepped in right then and there, snapping out of his dream state where he was dancing with his shoelace. "Alright, kids, let's let Kitty sleep."

Everyone said goodnight to their new best friend, seeing as Kitty had won them over so quickly with her charm, grace, and...well...existance...and Kitty fell asleep, ignoring the gangrene that was setting into her arm.