Chapter 7—The Grinning Knight
Disclaimer: Who do you think we own? That's right, no one. Oh, and we don't own the lines from the song "Hero". (thank god! We'd probably die if we had such a crappy song under our names!)
A/N: Hope you enjoy!! Thanx for all of the positive reviews, especially from Briar's Rose, Snow*flake, Squire Kali, and more, but please! We need some laughter in our lives!! Send us flames. Oh, one more thing. Despite what it might seem like, we are NOT Kel/Neal fans, so don't get too comfortable. We just do things like this to make all you happy. Well, let the story begin…
Kel stomped out of the court; Raoul and Neal ran behind.
"Wait, Kel! I love you! Don't leave me! It's all Neal's fault!"
"Shurrup! Kel, you know you've wanted me since you were twelve. Yes, I know about that; I was reading your diaries."
Kel wheeled around and broke Neal's nose. He started to cry from the sheer pain he felt in his nose and heart.
"I'm sick of this. This contest over me is one that neither of you will win!" she screamed. "I challenge the both of you to a joust. Whoever wins, gets me. If I win, which I will, both of you have to promise to leave me alone! Agreed?"
They both nodded their heads mutely. Giving an icy nod, Kel walked off.
"Damn," Neal breather, "Kel's so hot when she's mad!" Raoul nodded his head in agreement.
"See you at the competition," he said curtly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
It was the day of the jousting tournament. The sun was shining brightly for a March day. Kel was ecstatic. The thought of the two over-grown pesks leaving her alone was too exiting to imagine. There would be only be one thing that she would miss, and that was…well, never mind.
Wyldon nodded his head. Kel urged Peachblossom forward, while Neal did the same. Peachblossom thundered on. At the right moment, Kel threw her weight into her lance; Neal cartwheeled through the air before landing squarely on his gluteus maximus. The crowd went wild, as Kel waved her lance triumphantly in the air.
"Stupid boy," she thought. "He never was good at jousting. Now all I have to do is beat Raoul."
Raoul galloped into the stadium and saluted the royal family, or what remained of it. "My lords, I will show my undying love for Sir Keladry by beating her in a game of joust," he said.
"My butt!" Kel exclaimed, then turned a bright crimson. She settled her helm, and waited for the flag. As soon as it was waved, Kel charged. Raoul di the same. When the two were only several feet away, Kel gave a grunt and leveled her lance at Raoul's crotch. She pushed forward. Screaming with pain, Raoul slid out of the saddle holding his—um—-manly parts.
Kel SCREAMED with triumph. "I am woman!! Strong, sexy, sweet, and SINGLE!! Whoohoo!!"
Raoul left the stadium with tears in his eyes. Today was a thrice-cursed day for him—he ruined his reputation as a jouster, he could no longer walk, and Kel was out of his life forever.
Neal was disappointed, but not too much. After all, Raoul didn't get the girl, but then again, neither did he. He gave a desperate sigh as he saw Kel enter the bathing houses to wash off her grimy sweat. He did still love her.
2 Months Later…
"Shit," Kel muttered. She stared silently as the Scanran army marched toward the Tortallens. Their army was huge, numbering about 20 thousand, while the Tortallens had 15 thousand. It didn't look like a very big difference on paper, but now Kel saw how much the extra 5 thousand made.
She knew she would have to fight 'til her life's end. Shrugging, she raised her sword and led the small unit behind her into the front rows of Scanra's army.
"Charge!" she shouted. With a yell, the two armies met. Kel urged Peachblossom forward, her eyes flitting around her. To her left, Kel saw Lerant surrounded by four large knights.
"Lerant!" she cried. Directing Peachblossom to Lerant's side, she slashed down one of the knights with her sword. She dashed sweat out of her eyes and lunged at the next knight. Unfortunately, he was prepared. The knight heaved his sword into her thigh. Even Kel's specially made armor couldn't resist the sudden force. Soon, her entire leg was red with the blood of the gash.
"Damn," she muttered. Glaring at the mocking knight, she thrust her sword towards his chest. Unfortunately, another knight got in her way. She slew him in an instant. The grinning knight was now out of her reach. Determinedly, she made her way towards him, leaving Lerant to kill the remaining knight.
"Kel!" Kel looked to her side, where Owen was fast approaching. "Watch out, Kel! It's—" But before Owen could finish, the grinning knight cut off his head.
"Owen!" (A/N—Kel must like these one-worders, doesn't she?) she cried, and started to lunge at the deadly knight, but stopped when she saw Merric galloping toward her. "Merric—no!"
But it was too late. Yet another brave man was slain by the knight.
Tears coursing down her face, Kel faced off with the knight. Unbeknownst to her, a foot soldier stole up behind her. With a mighty heave, the man hit the back of Kel's head. With a gasp of pain, Kel fell into a well of blackness.
Much later…
Kel dreamily awoke. She had no idea where she was. All she could see was an elaborate room, richly decorated, and a looming face straight ahead of her. It was somewhat familiar, and with a gasp, she realized it was the dangerous grinning knight! On the other hand, he looked remarkably like her archenemy from the past, Joren.
"Who are you?" Kel managed to whisper. Waking up a bit more, she realized her hands were bound tightly behind her. Her thigh hurt dreadfully.
"Why do you want to know?" the stranger asked huskily.
"Because you killed my friends, dammit!"
He chucked, "Very well. I'm…Joren of Stone Mountain. Long time no see, huh?"
"Fuck you! She screamed, then burst into tears.
"Dear, dear," he muttered. "Such tears over nothing." He reached his hand out towards Kel's head. She jerked back and spat on him. Lashing out, Joren hit her sharply in the face. She said nothing.
"Bitch. You can't do anything tied to a bed, can you? Now you can't save anybody! You won't protect the small and defend the weak like that! Ha!"
"What do I have to do to get out of this?" Kel whispered.
"One of your little friends will have to miraculously find you and the ransom."
"Or what?"
"That's for me to know, and you to find out," Joren smiled maliciously. He nodded to the guards. They walked forward, untied Kel, and dragged her up. She looked steadily into Joren's eyes and started to talk, but Joren interrupted.
"You can take my breath away."
Kel frowned. "No thanks, I'll pass."
Joren moaned. "I just wanna hold you!" He reached towards Kel's barely clothed body, but Kel jumped out of the way.
"What has gotten into you?" she said shakily.
"C'mon, Kel. I can be your he-e-e-ero."
Kel looked at him once, and shrieked. Joren clamped his hand over her mouth. With a wave of his hand, the guards left.
"Keladry, if your friends don't come and save you, which is highly likely, you will be my wife. Wouldn't you rather be my prestige wife than slaving away on the back of a horse?"
"No!" Kel replied. She opened her mouth to say more, but Joren silenced her by kissing.
Kel struggled at first but finally gave in to Joren's warm embrace. So, he found my weakness, she thought. Too bad he is such a prat. He has it all—the muscular body, great kissing techniques, lots of money, and beautiful style on a horse's back. If it wasn't for the fact that he is such a…jerk to me, we could really be something.
"What am I thinking?!" Kel said aloud, and tore herself away from Joren's lingering mouth, although somewhat regretfully. "What makes you think you can get anything you want? What makes you think that I'm actually going to WANT to marry you?"
Joren smiled at her furious face. "You didn't break off the kiss until a minute had passed. Oh, and I've died once. Now that I'm alive again, I'll do what I've always wanted to do,—"
Exactly what that was, Kel didn't know. Joren broke off his sentence as the door to the bedroom opened. A dark, mysterious figure entered.
"Guard! Leave!" barked Joren.
The stranger grabbed Kel and pressed a dagger to her throat.
Joren and Kel both gasped. Joren growled, "What do you want?"
A/N: Cliffy? Yay or nay?
Guess who was listening to "Hero" by Enrique Inglesis (or however you spell his name) while writing?
Oh, and guess which author is in love with Joren? That's right, Ruby (Mister Schnopps) is!!
Can any guess what Kel's weakness is? Boys touching her, most obviously!
One more thing—In the flames you're going to write us, PLEASE don't say this is bad because it's a soap opera! Duh! We wrote it knowing it is like the Young and the Restless!
