TITLE: Angel and a White Dove
AUTHOR: Mystic25
EMAIL: yellowrubberduck31@hotmail.com

CATAGORY: Angst/Fuzzies..heh, that's a new one.

SUMMARY: I usually never do holiday fics, but 'tis the season. There won't be so much Christmas sap that you'll choke, but, it'll still leave you fuzzy. Got a little action and angst to for counter balance as well. And since it's Christmas, the damn virus is takin' a holiday as well, so there! I already have enough angst in here already.

RATING: PG13

A/N: Choices 9 is in the making, just wanted to mess with something else for a while.
Most holiday stuff is kinda unrealistic. Peace towards others shouldn't be a one day packaged deal, and not everyone gets all gooey and change their personality on X-Mas.

PROPS: I want to thank everyone who's ever R/R my stories. Your suggestions helped me a lot, and your praise was greatly appreciated, power to all ya'll. Thanks again, and Merry Christmas, or Hanukah, or Kwanzaa..hope I got that all, how bout just HAPPY HOLIDAYZ!

*****

"PING!" a shot from a single .34 caliber bullet echoed out as something small fell to the dirty snow in the alley.

"Nice shot brother" a man called out.

"I do it all for food." the other man responded, picking up his kill. "Ain't much, bastards awfull small." he looked over the tiny bird "But it'll last me on Eve's night huh?" he laughed a low, tired weathered laugh.

Snow sloshed by his heels as a gray motorcycle pulled up to him. "What the hell are you doing?"

The man looked up from the dead bird, at this young thing questioning him on her ride.

"Christmas turkey sugar" he held the bird by its tail and head, turning it with his fingers like an imaginary spit.

"You can't eat that!" she objected. Max looked at the dead creature. A white dove with a bullet hole in it's neck. /An admirable kill Maxie, quick precise, SHUT UP!/

The man looked at her like she had suddenly grown two heads "And what right do you have to tell me what I can eat gurl?" his gaze was hard "These ain't Jimmy Stewart films, food won't bring itself. What right do YOU have to tell me where my next meal is coming from, you don't have that problem"

She did though. She had lived on the "wrong side" of the tracks. Scraping out of an alley, stealing. Hard times were not a new face to her. But that man didn't know, he couldn't understand the significance of the white dove lying dead in his hands.

****

FLASH BACK

"Release the bird soldier" Lydecker's crisp voice demanded

"Why must we do this Sir?" Jack questioned, staring at the little dove in the wire cage.
It cocked its head this way and that, looking. "With all do respect, it seems cruel"

"To show that even in peace time, there is always a watcher" Lydecker came back harshly.
"Now do it, cruel is a world you'll have to get use to hearing"

Jack asked no more question, releasing the metal door to the cage, and carefully cupping the bird in his hands. Jack pulled back, and the bird took flight.

"Take aim 599" Lydecker ordered.

Zack rested his issued rifle on his shoulder, peering through the sight.

"What's the hold up 599?"

"I can't steady my aim Sir" Zack replied, "452's hand keeps moving" Zack kept having
having to be reset to accommodate the girl at the other end of the scope. In her outstretched hand lay the white dove, using her fingers as a perch. The girl soldier was shaking, though it wasn't even really cold. She just watched the little animal sitting on her, knowing a peace that would be short lived.

"Hold it still 452!" Lydecker barked "What the hell's the matter with you!"

"Sorry Sir, my nerve got away from me. I won't let it happen again sir, on my life!"
Max retorted these words back with precise military crispness, but it didn't help.
She still felt her heart beating explosively in her chest.

Zack's hand poised on the trigger, and he squeezed one off. "POP!" Feathers flew, and the bird hit the snow.

"That's good 599" Lydecker praised, much to Zack's surprise.

Max looked down at the still bird at her feet. Only a thin trickle of blood, but the shot had been made through the neck, immediately chocking off the air supply.

"452!"

Max looked up to meet Lydecker's angry gaze. "You better remember that weakness will not stand in war. Actions are needed, not weakness, that will get you killed. Remember that"

"Yes Sir!"

Lydecker looked at her for the longest moment. "So that you will" the barrel of a revolver was out in front of her.

"Sir-?" her question was cut off as the sound of a single gunshot echoed around the snow.

"NO!" Zack cried out "Maxie!"

"State her designation 599." Lydecker ordered, "She has no other name"

"MAX!" Zack didn't take to it, as the snow fell around him

*****

PRESENT

Something suddenly felt like Max had been punched in the chest. She hitched in her breath hard, grabbing at the area. Her hand pulled back to reveal blood. /What the hell?/ The crimson stained marred her leather glove. She looked down, and saw red seeping out from her sweater. /The wound-it's in the same, but how the hell, I didn't get shot, that was 11 years ago!/

"Oh God!" the man leaning against the wall cried out "I didn't girl I swear!" the dove dropped in his hand.

Max suddenly grouped for the wall. /This can't be, NO ONE SHOT ME DAMMIT!"/ But this certainly felt like a bullet wound. But how, where? Her vision began to blur, and her breathing became raspy

/"GSW soldier" Lydecker informed Zack, who helped Zane carry their unconscious sister on an army stretcher through the snow.

"She'll live. A bullet wound is very unpredictable if you no where to aim"/

She slid against the wall, her hand on the "wound" Something poked the side of her head, a payphone. /Tis the season for miracles, or the phone company trying to get more in sales with these strategically placed touchtones/ One hand yanked the cord, and the black device dangled in front of her. She used it as an aid and hauled herself off the snow.

Having no energy to bang the phone for free service, and no change. Max dialed the operator.

"Seattle directory assistance. This is Gina"

"Need you to-" *a long labored breath* -to-"

"Ma'am?"

"Cale" Max came back "Logan Cale. Lives in Sector Four."

"You need his number?"

"I have his damn number, I just don't have any change."

"Why didn't you call collect?"

"You're suppose to assist me "Gina" No more third degree, just give me *gasp*
"411"

"Ma'am? Are you okay? Do you need medical assiatance?"

"Just went joggin'" Max lied "Out of breath, dial it please"

"Hang on one moment while I connect"

A whirr, after the operator left, then "Yeah"

"It's me"

"Hey Max" Logan sounded cheery "Was wondering when you'd answer my page. Merry Christmas by the way. Even though it's a rainy one-"

"Logan"

"You still planning on stopping by at six?"

"LOGAN!" Max was all but screaming.

"Sorry," Logan toned it down a little "I think I've crossed that line between cheery and annoying. I'll take myself to the woodshed tonight"

"Appreciate it" Max gasped out.

He then noticed her tone of voice "You okay Max?"

What could she say /No some imaginary gun shot me and I'm bleeding from a wound that shouldn't exist, but other then that-"/

"I've been-" she hesitated, but didn't know any other way to describe what had happened-"shot"

"WHAT?" Logan's voice was loud on the other end "By who?" /Smart question dumb ass, ask her if she's all right first. She's not okay stupid-/ "How bad?"

"Can't tell" Max replied "Went near my collar-*breath hitch* -"bone, damn"

"Where are you?"

"Edge of Wesson in Sector Three" she got out, that fuzziness returning. Something hit her foot.

"I'll be there, and I'm calling EMS"

"Logan-" Max sounded annoyed.

"I'm not a doctor Max!" Logan shouted back "I don't know how bad you're hurt. I'll make sure it's Sam"

"Yea" Max cheered humorlessly "Doctors" she looked down at what was by her foot. The dead dove, it's head curled into its feathers./Dove White Dove. Snap! Snow. Hit Hard. Pain. Cold. Footsteps. "Bring a stretcher 599." "Maxie?" "DO IT NOW SOLDIER!"/ She gasped again, much louder.

"Max?" Logan became alarmed at that noise.

Her vision swam, /Movement. Voices. Zack's, Lydecker's. Snow Crunching/ "Oh God"
Black, she felt it around the edges of her being.

*****

He stopped when he saw her. /Jesus Christ/ His footsteps thudded on the snow, crunching it.

Logan reached her and knelt down to her. "Max?" she lay on her back by the phone, eyes closed.

The blood decorated her green sweater, a hideous rendition of Christmas colors.

He put his hand on that, applying pressure to lessen the flow. "Hang on Max, ya hear me?"
his words were fierce "Help is coming, don't you die on me" the last part was but a whisper in the wind.

She didn't answer, but he kept talking.

"I'll have to turn on you in the ass kicking department if you die on me on Christmas Eve."
he wished she would talk. This was the one-ended conversation from hell.

Nothing still, the dove lay at his feet, dead. /A White dove. Seattle doesn't have doves. I wonder where it came from./ It seemed fitting, in a cruel sort of way. A slain dove next to a fallen angel. "You WILL be okay" he spoke with more reassurance then he felt.

Nothing again, but then chocolate brown eyes opened. "L-Logan?"

"It's me Max," he reassured "I came, I'm right here with you sweetie" he touched her face with his free hand.

She looked a little amused "Never called me "sweetie" before I *must* be dying"

That word panged at his heart. "Shh, you're NOT going to die okay? Don't talk like that"

Max struggled to breathe for a minute, she hadn't been serious, she wasn't ready to die yet. No matter how many times she came close to it, death scared her. "I can't" she noted through a strained voice "I mean, not yet. God no-" her words became more agitated. "Logan, please-" she gasped "don't let me die, not like this. Tell the Blue Lady, this isn't how it's suppose to be"

"Blue Lady?" Logan touched her hair in a caress. "I will sweetie, I promise I will, but who is she?"

"Mary, Holy Mother, Lady Of Grace, Mother of God" Max got out the names of the woman who bore Jesus. "Tell Her" she coughed, struggling to get air.

Logan had no idea that Max was religious, but he wasn't about to deny her request.
"Hang on Max, I'm sure that's all the Lady needs for a request, just hold on"

"And never let you go?" she quoted the lines from a pre-Post song by Selena.

Logan couldn't answer that before the paramedics he had beat to the scene approached them with their kits. "What do we have?"

The medics partner dropped his kit "She's the GSW call" he answered. He probed the wound with his latex glove. "Jagged edges on the entry" he called out "see an exit?"

The woman medic carefully flipped Max over in Logan's lap. "No, skin's still in tact. Need an X-Ray at Metro to see what the iron hit." she laid her back down. "Get her on O2, and start an IV" she looked at Max "Ma'am, can you tell me your name?"

"X-" Max suddenly realized what she was about to say "Max Guevara" she felt herself being rolled onto a gurney.

"Okay Max, I'm Lucy. I'm going to start an IV in your arm to replace lost fluids" she located a vein and stuck in the needle "Can you tell me what day it is?"

"Eve's day." Max came back, seeing some hookers out of the corner of her eye "Time for the Ho Ho Hoe's"

Lucy smiled a little at her remark. "Pupils are even and reactive" she called out to her partner shining her Maglite in Max's eyes. "And your humor's still in good condition too,
wanna tell me how this happened?"

"Brass bullet in chamber of a revolver, propelled out of its barrel in about 1.4 seconds Ma'am!" Max barked this out. Lucy paused in her work at this sudden crispness.

"Max?"

"Sorry," Max calmed down /why the hell did I do that?/ "I'm a soldier by training. It just came out"

"That's okay" Lucy finished inserting the IV needle "What branch? I mean you seem awfully young to be a soldier."

"I'm 20." Max got out "Where I lived took recruits at a young age" she lied "Branch was kind of like SEALS" she was panting now.

"Whoa sorry Max," Lucy apologized "Shouldn't have kept you talking that long" she placed the O2 mask on her face. "Start it at 5 Liters, and up it if she needs it"

Her partner finished patching up the wound with gauze to hold blood until a proper dressing could be applied. "Base this is Unit Four. We're coming in with the GSW. What?" the medic looked at Logan "Hang on" he pulled down his radio "You Cale?"

"Yeah" Logan stated, somewhat confused.

"Got a doc at Metro that wants a word" the medic handed him the radio.

"Logan it's Sam" the medic radio's wafted the voice of the physician "We're getting a room prepped for Max. I'm hopin' she won't need a transfusion, we are sorta tapped out on X5 blood."

Logan looked down at the woman being loaded into the ambulance "There's a Dr. Verinda
at Metro. She's one of my contacts, and X5's I've managed to track down donate a liter of blood for their sibs as often as they can. She keeps them in storage, and if they're not used by a month, she destroys them"

"I'll keep that in mind" Sam responded

After the ambulance began to speed down Seattle, Max lay there still not knowing what happened. /THAT WAS ELEVEN YEARS AGO! WHY AM I HURT NOW?"/ She cast glances at the people around her. Lucy on her left, in blue EMS garb, and more importantly Logan on the right, grasping her hand in his. Max looked back over at the medic, she noticed a small pendant dangling from a gold chain around her neck. "Holy Mother?" she spoke through the mask.

Lucy looked at Max "Oh you mean this?" she touched her pendant. "Yeah, it was a present from my mom after I got out of training. Said I needed Her to watch over me, to keep me sane."

/"What are you doing Ben?" Max asked, seeing him at the window of the barracks.
"Taking to the Blue Lady for guidance" Ben answered back, holding the little picture in his hand/

"Typical hardcore religious talisman for Catholics" Lucy went on "You of the Faith?"

"No" Max replied "I just, could I see it for a sec-"

"Christmas Eve prayer?" Lucy asked "Here" she unclasped the necklace "No harm in prayer even if you don't Believe in the Faith that She and Her Son surround" she put the necklace in Max's hand, lifting up the O2 mask so she could talk "Just in case you wanted to do it out loud, just don't talk for too long, you'll wear yourself down"

Max grasped at the charm in her hand. She really didn't know where to start. She turned back to Logan

"How do I-"

"Just feel it sweetie" he reused his term of endearment. "There are no rules"

Max closed her eyes for a brief second before beginning. "I don't even know if you exist,
*small hitch of breath* -"But I hope so. You helped all of us out there. I don't know if you are just a Tooth Fairy to us, but Ben believed in you, He did-"things" for you, and I'm sorry for what I did then. /"Tell me about the Good Place"/ "I still loved him Lady, I just wanted to make him stop-" *hitch of breath* "I loved him so much, please don't keep him out of the Good Place on the count of his actions /"Yes Father, by all means, run"/ or mine. /"You know there isn't a day goes by where you don't still feel the slick blood on your hands. For once Maxie, you were what you were created, and you liked it" "Please, he begged, don't let them take me"/Please-" she gasped slightly.

"Max, I think you need this again-" Lucy held the O2 mask close to her face.

"NO!" Max barked out again "No I'm fine, just let me-" she broke again into her "prayer"
"Lady, please not now. Not now, Dammit. I'm not ready. They're still out there. Jondy, Syl, Zane, I want to see them again. Not now. Tell Ben how much I loved him, tell Eva I can't come yet, tell Tinga I'm sorry I failed her, and I miss her. Tell them-" *a louder gasp*
"I saw the dove, the raven didn't kill him, it was Zack's rifle. Deck shot me that day, it wasn't Zack. The SOB lied. Zack didn't turn, he loved us he-" the words were broken off by rapid panting.

"Calm down Max" the O2 mask was replaced on her face "Take it easy, your EKG is off the charts." she looked over at the reading "You need to take it slow, or you're gonna blow something." she pulled out a syringe and a small liquid drug bottle. "I'm giving you a little Codeine to take some of the edge off. It won't knock you out, but you won't be hurting as much." she injected the drugs into Max's bloodstream.

Max felt the fuzzy feeling of drugs into her system, but just barely. The EMS worker didn't
know of her high tolerance to pain meds, how she needed double the normal amount to feel their effect.

"Logan?" Max looked at him again "The dove, it died-"

"Shh" he touched her forehead "I'm sorry angel, but it had been dead for a while"

"I wasn't, I mean. Shot-" her words tripped over themselves. The drugs, and the sheer exhaustion from talking so long were wearing her out./ Angel huh? that was a new one/

"You don't have to talk if it's painful Max" Lucy broke in "Just relax, and stay awake, until we rule out head injury."

Max tried to listen to her, but she was exhausted

*****

FLASH

"Is she awake yet?"

"No sir. The shot was clean, through and through, didn't even nick the collarbone. She should be coming around soon. We gave her no anesthesia like you asked. It's only a matter of time"

"Keep me updated until she's conscious"

"Yes sir"

*****

METRO
PRESENT

"Max? Can you hear me?"

A voice called her out from her haze. She blinked her eyes.

"Sam?" she stared at the balding doctor in front of her.

"Hey, welcome back. You sure like dramatic entrances." when she looked at him confused he went on "You went into seizures in the ambulance. Scared the hell outta of EMS. Nothing they gave you worked. Luckily they were about three miles from here. I was waiting for them, and gave you some pure liquid Tryptophane." he chuckled slightly "all the ER staff thought I was crazy for doing it. They don't meet up with too many X5's with low seratonin levels."

"Where's-"

"He went to get some coffee" Sam finished for her. "I basically sent him out before he drove me insane. "

Max managed a small smile, wincing slightly.

"How's the pain?" Sam asked. "I put you on something stronger then Codeine. But not too much, not knowing how Manticore genetics react to these drugs"

"Bearable" Max managed. She looked at Sam long and hard for a second "I wasn't shot Sam"

Sam nodded "I know that, I examined you when you came in. You met all the criteria of a GSW, except-"

"There was no slug in me" she finished

"Exactly," Sam went on. "No exit, but x-rays showed nothing embedded ANYWHERE, and there was still rips and muscle tears. It was one for the casebooks. All I could think of with what Logan told me is that you remembered some injury from Manticore, something about a dove-"

/"Maxie?"

"Suck it in 599, she's still alive"/

"-there must have been a injury involved, and your body-" as near as I can put it-"recreated" the trauma you sustained when you saw that white dove on the snow.
It's something out of the Twilight Zone" he looked at her seriously. "I had the x-rays destroyed, and got some of my guys in records to write it up as a GSW sustained by
a one Rachel Jennings."

"Thanks Sam" was all Max could say, fiddling with her IV "Guess I wigged out"

"Happens to the best of us Max, don't let it get to you." Sam reassured "I've got you in here for observation for tonight, some things can't be helped, sorry, but I'd like to keep an eye on you. But if anything should arise, like black helicopters or people breaking in-" he shoved a form at her "I'll make it AMA"

"Again, thanks" Max got out "Not everyday a girl gets saved from phantom bullets"

Sam touched her shoulder "Just get some sleep, even Manticore needs time to heal"

*****

The next time her eyes opened was because of another voice.

"Hey"

"Hi" Max yawned sleepily.

Logan touched her hair "How ya feeling?"

"Sore" she admitted. "Did Sam fill you in-"

"Yeah" Logan broke in, gently touching her bandaged wound. "To bad this isn't from your memory"

"It was so weird Logan" Max stated, "I saw that dove, and-" she paused "I don't know what happened. I remembered that time Deck brought us out to train with doves and ravens"

"You might have to fill me in on that" Logan stated.

"Short story, raven, dove. One of us would let a dove out in the air and the raven would kill it right in mid air. Suppose to symbolize that Manticore had no Peace Time. But that day he
wanted us to shoot the dove down"

"Did he shoot you?" Logan asked suddenly.

Max nodded, her eyes suddenly achieving a far off look "Once when we went out, the dove flew on my hand. Zack, he- he had the shot. But I, dunno, I was 6, and Zack had never pointed a gun at me before. He had to keep re-aligning the sight to get the kill shot.
Deck flipped out, called me worthless, and then-pop, I kissed metal. I was kinda hazy after that." her eyes misted over. "When I woke up, Deck, he told me that Zack had shot me, because I didn't stay still. I knew it wasn't true, but it was hard not to believe it a little, because I was so young, and didn't remember much right after it happened." She looked over at him "Until today."

He wiped the tear from her eye. "You remembered the truth"

"Felt it too" she added

"So did I " Logan concurred. "You scared the shit out of me Max, I thought, you were dying"

She sighed a heavy sigh "I thought so too, I was just scared I guess-"

The rest of the words were lost in his shoulder as he pulled her carefully to him, mindful of her wound. "Me too angel"

"I kinda like these pet names" she said.

"Really?" he kissed her forehead.

"Yeah." she looked at him "Guess that partay at your place is on hold." she sounded guilty.
"Thanks to me and my messed up shit."

"Max," he raised her chin with his finger to get her at eye level. "It wasn't going to be anything extravagant, I just wanted to spend time with you, which I'm doing. I wanted you to experience Christmas the way I always have." he set something in her lap. "I was having a hell of a time trying to decide what to get you. But I made up my mind."

"But I didn't get you anything," she objected looking at the brightly wrapped package.

"You don't have too" he objected. "Just open it and I'll get my present from your eyes"

She looked at him weird for being all melodramatic. She tore off the paper revealing a non descript white box "You shouldn't have" she joked opening the lid. Nestled in packing peanuts lay a ceramic white dove on a branch perch. She pulled it out of the box, turning
the figure in her hand. "Logan-" she really didn't know what to say. Her eyes caught sight of the inscription on a brass plaque. "For the Kingdom of God belongs to those such as these" then names "Ben, Tinga, Eva- KIA, but not forgotten." Another tear wove a path down her face. "You did this for me?"

He kissed her forehead again "You deserve some peace, to remember them" he pointed to a small chain attached to the earthenware branch.

"What-" she looked at the jewelry.

He took it off the branch. "After you were "out of the woods" Lucy came by with this. She said she wanted you to have it. /"I don't know anything about her, but I think she needs this more then me" Lucy handed Logan the necklace "Mom will understand"/

Max fingered the flat oval coin pendant with the Virgin carved on it. "I never wear jewelry, but I could hang it on my bedpost. Kinda have the Lady look out for me"

"How about tonight we make an exception?" Logan clasped the chain around her neck.

Max touched it, looking at pendant and the figure simultaneously, before setting the dove on the bed stand. "Stay here with me tonight"

He touched her head again "That was my plan" he settled in beside her, holding her close, careful again of her injuries.

"Logan?" she spoke up once she was settled.

"Yeah sweetie?"

/Kinda like this sugar his dishin' out/ "I just-I just love you so much." her words were emotional. "I was scared that the Lady would take me before I got to tell you"

"I already knew" he responded, he didn't repeat her words, they didn't live in an ideal world for things like that. But the feeling was there.

"Merry Christmas Logan," Max murmered, half asleep.

"You too angel"

/And to Ben, Tinga, and Eva, keep a spot for me in the Good Place. Remember, Deck is a liar, and I love you all. Kick ass in Heaven./

****

END

And there is my holiday yarn. Fuzzies anyone? If not, well hope ya liked it anyway. Five hours at the computer's leavin' me sore. R/R please, I might do more holiday stuff.