A/N: Sorry for the delay, but I have to reject five ideas and then consolidate bits and pieces of them to get a workable chapter.
Thank you Artema, Rubicon, SophieB., Rehanna, Fluer---@, UserFriendly (is it really sad? I was starting to think it wasn't angsty enough.), Pepperjack Candy, Redhawk, RandomThought, Tinuviel, and Alchemy.
***
I woke up from another dream of Lucius to find Ron sitting on my bed. He looked so pain-stricken, doe eyes reflecting light as they looked at me. "God, tell me what's wrong. I want to help you so much Harry. Just tell me what to do," he whispered softly, hand resting on my arm.
"There's nothing," I said. "You can't help me."
"What's wrong."
"I can't tell you." I think he winced.
"You can tell me anything."
"Not this." Now I know he winced and I saw the wheels turn as he tried to figure out what could be so horrible that I couldn't tell him. Finally he rose. He crossed to his bed and began to put on his bathrobe.
"Where are you going?"
"To Dumbledore. Maybe he can figure out what's wrong with you," Ron replied. In a flash, I was out of bed and on my knees.
"Ron, please. Don't." Dumbledore would never forgive me for this. He'd think I betrayed him.
"Then what the hell is your problem?" I rose defeated and whispered to Ron what happened. His eyes went wide with shock.
"We've got to tell someone. What he did- Harry!" He didn't understand. He thought Lucius had-
"No, no, no." I said quickly. "It's not what he did. It's what we did."
"We? You let him? Are you insane?" I laughed quietly. I was close to it. Wanting him was driving me mad. "You can't be serious."
"Dead serious."
"You fucked Lucius Malfoy?" I felt a swell of indignation at what happened that night being reduced to such crude terms, but it passed when I reminded myself that Ron couldn't possible comprehend what happened in full when I didn't understand it either. I nodded slowly. "And now you regret it?" Regret it? I wish I did. Regret had to be easier than this all-consuming lust to feel him. I thought of his lips against mine, his soft skin- Oh god, I'm doing it again.
"No. Far from it. I want it to happen again."
The words hung in the air- me refusing to take them back and Ron refusing to accept them. "Harry-"
"Forget it. I didn't expect you to understand. Feel free to hate me now."
"Hate you? Is that what you thought I'd do? Geez, after all we've been through, I shouldn't be surprised at anything you do anymore." I gave a tremendous sigh of relief. "But you sure know how to pick them. The man hates you."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"You shag him once and he's a completely new person? Yeah, right."
"Wasn't once."
"Sweet mother of God! Please, spare me the gory details." I laughed.
"Deal."
***
Um...right. Next chapter has already been started so you shouldn't have too much of a wait on that. All I can say for certain is that Draco's in it. Please review! Oh and for all of you who haven't heard yet, I'm starting a list on yahoo! for hpslash authors and readers because I really miss author alert! The url is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hpslash_alert. What can you do there? Well, pretty much whatever you want! I'm flexible!
Love,
J. Silver
Thank you Artema, Rubicon, SophieB., Rehanna, Fluer---@, UserFriendly (is it really sad? I was starting to think it wasn't angsty enough.), Pepperjack Candy, Redhawk, RandomThought, Tinuviel, and Alchemy.
***
I woke up from another dream of Lucius to find Ron sitting on my bed. He looked so pain-stricken, doe eyes reflecting light as they looked at me. "God, tell me what's wrong. I want to help you so much Harry. Just tell me what to do," he whispered softly, hand resting on my arm.
"There's nothing," I said. "You can't help me."
"What's wrong."
"I can't tell you." I think he winced.
"You can tell me anything."
"Not this." Now I know he winced and I saw the wheels turn as he tried to figure out what could be so horrible that I couldn't tell him. Finally he rose. He crossed to his bed and began to put on his bathrobe.
"Where are you going?"
"To Dumbledore. Maybe he can figure out what's wrong with you," Ron replied. In a flash, I was out of bed and on my knees.
"Ron, please. Don't." Dumbledore would never forgive me for this. He'd think I betrayed him.
"Then what the hell is your problem?" I rose defeated and whispered to Ron what happened. His eyes went wide with shock.
"We've got to tell someone. What he did- Harry!" He didn't understand. He thought Lucius had-
"No, no, no." I said quickly. "It's not what he did. It's what we did."
"We? You let him? Are you insane?" I laughed quietly. I was close to it. Wanting him was driving me mad. "You can't be serious."
"Dead serious."
"You fucked Lucius Malfoy?" I felt a swell of indignation at what happened that night being reduced to such crude terms, but it passed when I reminded myself that Ron couldn't possible comprehend what happened in full when I didn't understand it either. I nodded slowly. "And now you regret it?" Regret it? I wish I did. Regret had to be easier than this all-consuming lust to feel him. I thought of his lips against mine, his soft skin- Oh god, I'm doing it again.
"No. Far from it. I want it to happen again."
The words hung in the air- me refusing to take them back and Ron refusing to accept them. "Harry-"
"Forget it. I didn't expect you to understand. Feel free to hate me now."
"Hate you? Is that what you thought I'd do? Geez, after all we've been through, I shouldn't be surprised at anything you do anymore." I gave a tremendous sigh of relief. "But you sure know how to pick them. The man hates you."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"You shag him once and he's a completely new person? Yeah, right."
"Wasn't once."
"Sweet mother of God! Please, spare me the gory details." I laughed.
"Deal."
***
Um...right. Next chapter has already been started so you shouldn't have too much of a wait on that. All I can say for certain is that Draco's in it. Please review! Oh and for all of you who haven't heard yet, I'm starting a list on yahoo! for hpslash authors and readers because I really miss author alert! The url is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hpslash_alert. What can you do there? Well, pretty much whatever you want! I'm flexible!
Love,
J. Silver
