A/N: Wow! I'm busy today. I finally finished this chapter! Unfortunately, it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.
Thank you to all you wonderful people who reviewed. I love you, but I need to be off the computer in about ten seconds.
***
Stop. Stop doing this to yourself. It's pathetic. Stop thinking about him. Stop remembering what he smelled like. Stop wanting him. Don't think about it. Stop wanting to go to him. Stop confusing sex and love and for Heaven's sake stop wondering how many physical similarities there really are between Lucius and Draco!
"Fuck him and be done with it," Ron said after Potions.
"Excuse me?" I knew my mind must've been wandering. Ron did not say what I think he just said.
"Malfoy. Just screw him already."
"Ron, we've been saying that for years, but I sense that you mean it in an entirely different manner. Besides, what makes you think I have any interest in even going near Malfoy?"
"Puh-leeze. What, am I blind now? Judging by that look, if you had things your way, Malfoy'd be your bitch in chains and leather." I was speechless for several moments as I gaped at Ron. How did he-? And did he-? Chains and leather? I laughed harder than I'd laughed in days.
"Why stop at chains and leather?" I asked slyly. Ron simply shook his head.
"I want my best friend back- not the horny bastard that looks like him."
And I want my sanity back. I want to wake up and not wish that my dreams had been real. I want to be ignorant of what he feels like inside me. I want this to be a phase that will pass before dinner. I want to be normal in at least one aspect of my life.
"Well, life's a bitch. Nobody gets what they want."
All I wanted was to be loved for me, not because of my fame and what do I get? I get my deepest wish twisted into something dark and so goddamned alluring wrapped with a neat little bow. But for all its darkness, it had been deliciously sweet. If I deluded myself enough, I could make myself believe that he cared about me.
"Well if what you want is evil, old, married, and of the wrong gender, it's going to be difficult to obtain."
"One, he's not that old. Two, why does he have to be the wrong gender?"
"You answered your own question Harry." I laughed- not a joyful laugh that was becoming increasingly rare, but the "God, I'm a nut and my life can't get any worse" laugh.
"Don't tell me you're homophobic."
"No, but you have to understand that this is a big shock for me-"
"A big shock for you? What do you think it was for me? It's not like I asked for this."
I didn't ask for his slender arms around me, those soft lips crushing mine with an almost savage force, the length of his body pressed against mine. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Just for five minutes, get out of my fucking head!
I sank to the floor, hands clamped over my face as if I was trying to keep the images out. A hot tear slid down my cheek and then another and another and another. "Harry-"
"I can't take this anymore, Ron. I can't. I have to do something," I sobbed.
"Dry your eyes. Let's got to Hogsmeade. Maybe some cocoa will cheer you up." I looked up at him. Was he really dense enough to think that a mug of cocoa could solve this? He smiled apologetically. "If nothing else, it'll taste good."
"Fine."
We went to Hogsmeade under the invisibility cloak, using the secret passage underneath the old witch. Upon entering the Three Broomsticks, I walked smack into Malfoy. "Watch where you're going, Potter." He sneered. I wonder if he has any idea how contorted his features become when he does that.
"Why don't you go run ands tell your father? Maybe he can bully someone into doing something about it, slaughter a few hippogriffs if he's lucky." The sneer vanished from Malfoy's face to be replaced by a look of pain. His mouth compressed in a thin line and he stormed off.
"What was that about?" Ron asked.
"Didn't you hear?" Madam Rosemerta asked, showing us to a booth.
"Hear what?" I inquired.
"Lucius Malfoy is dead."
***
What happens next? Review, dears!
love,
J. Silver
Thank you to all you wonderful people who reviewed. I love you, but I need to be off the computer in about ten seconds.
***
Stop. Stop doing this to yourself. It's pathetic. Stop thinking about him. Stop remembering what he smelled like. Stop wanting him. Don't think about it. Stop wanting to go to him. Stop confusing sex and love and for Heaven's sake stop wondering how many physical similarities there really are between Lucius and Draco!
"Fuck him and be done with it," Ron said after Potions.
"Excuse me?" I knew my mind must've been wandering. Ron did not say what I think he just said.
"Malfoy. Just screw him already."
"Ron, we've been saying that for years, but I sense that you mean it in an entirely different manner. Besides, what makes you think I have any interest in even going near Malfoy?"
"Puh-leeze. What, am I blind now? Judging by that look, if you had things your way, Malfoy'd be your bitch in chains and leather." I was speechless for several moments as I gaped at Ron. How did he-? And did he-? Chains and leather? I laughed harder than I'd laughed in days.
"Why stop at chains and leather?" I asked slyly. Ron simply shook his head.
"I want my best friend back- not the horny bastard that looks like him."
And I want my sanity back. I want to wake up and not wish that my dreams had been real. I want to be ignorant of what he feels like inside me. I want this to be a phase that will pass before dinner. I want to be normal in at least one aspect of my life.
"Well, life's a bitch. Nobody gets what they want."
All I wanted was to be loved for me, not because of my fame and what do I get? I get my deepest wish twisted into something dark and so goddamned alluring wrapped with a neat little bow. But for all its darkness, it had been deliciously sweet. If I deluded myself enough, I could make myself believe that he cared about me.
"Well if what you want is evil, old, married, and of the wrong gender, it's going to be difficult to obtain."
"One, he's not that old. Two, why does he have to be the wrong gender?"
"You answered your own question Harry." I laughed- not a joyful laugh that was becoming increasingly rare, but the "God, I'm a nut and my life can't get any worse" laugh.
"Don't tell me you're homophobic."
"No, but you have to understand that this is a big shock for me-"
"A big shock for you? What do you think it was for me? It's not like I asked for this."
I didn't ask for his slender arms around me, those soft lips crushing mine with an almost savage force, the length of his body pressed against mine. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Just for five minutes, get out of my fucking head!
I sank to the floor, hands clamped over my face as if I was trying to keep the images out. A hot tear slid down my cheek and then another and another and another. "Harry-"
"I can't take this anymore, Ron. I can't. I have to do something," I sobbed.
"Dry your eyes. Let's got to Hogsmeade. Maybe some cocoa will cheer you up." I looked up at him. Was he really dense enough to think that a mug of cocoa could solve this? He smiled apologetically. "If nothing else, it'll taste good."
"Fine."
We went to Hogsmeade under the invisibility cloak, using the secret passage underneath the old witch. Upon entering the Three Broomsticks, I walked smack into Malfoy. "Watch where you're going, Potter." He sneered. I wonder if he has any idea how contorted his features become when he does that.
"Why don't you go run ands tell your father? Maybe he can bully someone into doing something about it, slaughter a few hippogriffs if he's lucky." The sneer vanished from Malfoy's face to be replaced by a look of pain. His mouth compressed in a thin line and he stormed off.
"What was that about?" Ron asked.
"Didn't you hear?" Madam Rosemerta asked, showing us to a booth.
"Hear what?" I inquired.
"Lucius Malfoy is dead."
***
What happens next? Review, dears!
love,
J. Silver
