Shadows of the Past
Chapter 9: Aftermath
~PG-13ish
~Again for the millionth time I don't own 'em! So stop bugging me!
Well, here it is, the conclusion of Shadows. It's been fun, and I hope that you all have enjoyed it. I have a couple of ideas for a few short stories so I won't be gone all that long. Kat, I have you to thank for keeping me going with this story on more than one occasion. You're the best! How many people would let me bounce ideas off of them at 1 in the morning~ granted it was only 10 or so for you but still, you're the best.
Well, I guess I'll shut up now so you can read the final
chapter of Shadows of the Past.
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It had been a long, agonizing, and heart wrenching two weeks in the Fogel Towers penthouse. Logan had never felt as helpless as he did that day two weeks ago, as he watched Max slip out of his life forever.
*-*
"What happened?" Zack asked reaching his hand out to feel for a pulse.
"I'm not sure….I think that somehow….Max was injected with the serum. She just collapsed…I begged her not to go…but she…she…" Logan tried to explain through his tears.
"Oh, Maxie. I'm
sorry I let this happen." Zack whispered, gently stroking the side of her face.
"We still have some time. She's got a pulse, it's faint but it's there." Zack
quickly rose to retrieve a syringe from the pile that Max had created minutes
before.
"What are you doing?" Logan asked,
watching Zack pull the antigen from his coat and extract it from the vial with
the syringe.
"Saving her life." Zack expertly cleared all air bubbles, and found and a large vein, and injected the antigen into Max's blood-stream. Logan watched intently until the actual injection. He hated needles, and there was no way that he could possibly watch Max being stuck, even if it was saving her life.
"What about you?" Logan asked in shock that Zack had just given up his only chance at life.
"What about me?" he responded refusing to look Logan in the eye, worried he would see the fear in them. Logan just looked at the man before him unsure of what to say and pulled Max a bit closer to him.
"Look, Logan I know what you're getting at." Zack said breaking into the uncomfortable silence. "And, yeah, I'm gonna die soon." He admitted looking at his sister. "But it was my job to protect Max, I was supposed to make sure that nothing happened to her, and I failed. I failed my mission I failed her. I did what I had to do. I'm making sure that she'll be alright."
Slowly Zack
leaned over to kiss Max's forehead. "I love you Maxie." He whispered so
quietly, he wasn't sure it was even out loud. "Take care of her for me Logan."
Zack said standing up, his legs a bit shaky as the serum began to take its toll
on the strong leader.
"You know I will. Where are you
going?" Logan asked wanting to do something, but not wanting to let go of Max.
"To think…clear my head…make my peace with…with…God?" Zack offered, unsure of exactly what he was going to do. Gently, Logan lay Max on the cool ground.
"Thank you." Logan said hugging Zack cautiously. "For everything. If it wasn't for you I never would have found Max again, and I'd have lost her forever. I wish I could do something to repay you." Logan said looking at Zack, who was in shock from the sudden embrace.
"Just take care of her. That's thanks enough. And like I said I was just doing my job." Zack dismissed Logan's gratitude. With a slight wave, he turned on his heel and was gone, never to be seen again. Smiling sadly Logan turned around and picked Max up carrying her to his car.
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Since he had gotten Max back to his apartment, he hadn't left her side except to use the bathroom and take an occasional two minute shower. The last thing Logan wanted was for Max to wake up and for her to be alone. There had been a few minor 'issues' that Logan had faced when it came to getting Max in bed. He assumed that jeans probably wouldn't be the most comfortable thing in the world to sleep in. But how was he going to get her out of her clothes and into pajamas without getting his ass kicked, if Max asked how she had gotten changed, once she woke up? He could call Bling, but that wouldn't be any better from Max's point of view. Finally, Logan decided that he would call his neighbor-of sorts- Mrs. Moreno. She was a kind older woman who wouldn't ask many questions. Plus she had always taken a motherly role with him; so how bad could it be for Max to hear that she had changed her? Then there was the fact that Logan would have to go through Max's stuff. Fortunately, that one he wasn't too worried about, especially since her sleep-ware was found right on top of the pile.
After all of that Logan tucked Max in underneath his satin sheets and thick goose down comforter. Carefully, Logan took her hands from under the blankets so he could hold them as he waited for to awaken. Pulling up a chair to the side of the bed Logan made himself comfortable.
Each day it was the same routine; Logan would go from sitting in the chair, to the edge of the bed, wiping Max's damp forehead with a cool cloth, to standing by the window trying to clear his head of all the horrid possibilities of Max never waking up, to pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed, and finally back to the chair where he'd fall asleep to start the cycle over again the next day. There were times that Logan would actually have to check to see if Max was still breathing, and every time he found that she was.
As the end of the second week rolled around Logan was nearing the breaking point; fear, exhaustion, and helplessness getting the better of him.
"Max, I don't know if you can hear me or not, studies say that coma patients can hear their loved ones, but anyway…" Logan began one of her small pale hands between his own. "Angel you've got to wake up. I haven't been able to get any food in you. Bling's come over and given you some shots with the necessary vitamins and nutrients in it but…" Logan sighed and rested his head on their hands. "I just want to know that you're ok. When you're sleeping like this I can't tell what's going on in your body. If you're ok or not, if you need anything. Max please, just wake up. Open your eyes. Please." Logan lay his head down gently on Max's abdomen, still holding her hand, only now his fingers were laced through hers. "I don't know what to do Max." he whispered as his tears began to fall soaking the comforter.
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Oh my God, did I get hit by a truck or something? I feel like hell.
Max slowly
opened her eyes, unsure of where exactly she was, or why she was even
there. Looking down to see what the
weight was on her abdomen, Max smiled softly. Logan. Gently, she reached
out her free hand to brush back his long spiky hair. He looks so tired. Feeling
the touch Logan slowly sat up thinking
that it was just another dream and that Max wasn't really awake, Logan turned
his head. Surprisingly, his piercing blue eyes met her warm brown.
"Max?" he asked in disbelief.
"Hey." Max whispered hoarsely, her throat dry and scratchy from the lack of use. Logan leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Max's small frame, soon feeling her arms wrapping around him. Moments later, Logan regretfully pulled back to look at Max, with soft smile.
"Do you think you can sit up?" he asked, thinking that the movement would be good for her stiff muscles. When she nodded, Logan gently helped Max move to a sitting position, arranging pillows behind her back to lean on.
"Water?" Max whispered, tired of feeling her throat sticking to itself. Logan held up a finger telling her to wait a minute as he got up to get a glass. He's so cute sometimes. Max adjusted the pillows slightly so she would have to sit up more. Her muscles were so stiff. I wonder how long I was sleeping? It couldn't have been too long, could it?
"Here you go." Logan said handing her glass of cool clear water.
"Thanks." She told him after taking a long drink, savoring the feel of the liquid in dry mouth and throat.
"How you feeling?" Logan asked putting the glass on the night stand, concern etched on his face.
"Like I've been hit by a truck." Max quipped with a smile. "Honestly?" she asked getting a nod in reply, "I've felt better – Don't think I've felt worse, but I'm sure I could. I'll be fine, you don't have to worry." Max assured Logan, patting the bed with her hand, inviting him to sit down next her.
"I'll always worry Max."
"Umm, Logan?" she ventured, her eyes falling to the comforter where she played with a lose string. Oh just ask him. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea or anything but…umm…" Max let out a sigh in frustration. "Logan, where's Zack? 'Cause, quite frankly, I shouldn't be here - I shouldn't be alive. What happened?" Logan sighed, taking off his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.
"Max," he began, "I'm not sure how to say this."
"Well it's obviously not good news, so just say it Logan."
"Zack walked in just after you passed out. Max, he gave you the antigen. After that I honestly don't know where he went." Logan told her, watching her carefully as the realization settled into her features. Max nodded slowly with tears forming in her eyes and a bitter smile forming on her lips.
"He died for me. Even though he knew that the others depended on him. I didn't say anything about me getting stuck with that stupid needle for a reason. I knew Zack would refuse taking the antigen if he knew that I needed it too. But the others, Jondy, Syl, Krit…they all need Zack so much more than they need me. Zack was our protector, now what are they – we going to do? It should have been me."
"Don't say that. Neither one of you should have died. And maybe Zack thought that since Lydecker and Renfro are both dead you wouldn't have to hide anymore? Or maybe he couldn't watch his little sister die knowing that he could save her? Max, he didn't think twice about it." Logan said, holding her face in his hands.
"Zack is one more person who's dead because of me, Logan." Tears spilled down onto Max's cheek, as she looked into Logan's eyes.
"Not because of you. No one is dead because of you. Max, you never pulled a trigger, or set off a bomb, or gave an injection. None of this is your fault you have to believe that. Take it from someone who knows what misplaced guilt feels like." Logan ran his hands through his hair, surprised that he was actually going to talk about his mother. He had never told anyone. "When I was 17 my mother was diagnosed with cancer. She went through the proper chemotherapy treatments and radiation, she was released from the hospital a few months later and we thought everything was fine. She was weak but on the mend…or so we thought. I was watching some stupid 'movie of the week' with her on TV when she had a stroke…I didn't even notice." He laughed bitterly to himself. "I looked over to make some immature comment about the movie and noticed that something was wrong, really wrong. I called for my father as I tried to get my mom to say something, anything. She ended up going back to the hospital and never coming back out alive."
"There was nothing you could have done about that Logan." Max insisted. She had no idea that he had been through that as a child.
"I know, but for years I blamed myself for my mother's death. If I had been there when she needed me most, she never would have had the extensive damage that she did from the stroke. Sometimes I still do actually. But I know that she would have had the stroke whether or not I had noticed immediately, and she probably would have died because of the complication from the stroke. Trust me Max, blaming yourself or something you had no control over isn't worth the effort. You in no way caused anyone's death. Please Max, believe me on this one."
"Hmmm." Max looked out the window thoughtfully. "Maybe, you're right. MAYBE." Max clarified looking back to Logan with a smile.
"Okay, I'll take what I can get." he laughed. "I'm glad you're here Max – in every sense of the word.
"Me too." She whispered, just before Logan placed a soft, quick kiss on her lips. Logan pushed himself farther up onto the bed so he was leaning on the pile of pillows in front of the head board next to Max, who leaned into his arms as if it was the most natural thing for her to do. Logan sighed contently, as his exhaustion caught up with him, and kissed the top of Max's head.
"Logan, I meant what I said back at the lab. You don't have to say anything, I know I'm probably just some kid to you with fling potential, and I understand. But I thought you should know that I didn't just say that I loved you because I thought I was dying, I meant it. And don't worry I'll be packed and out of here by tomorrow night." Max confessed, unable to look him in the eye.
"Max, how could you think that all you are to me is a fling? When you were dying in my arms I thought that I was going to die with you. The thought of life without you in it terrifies me. I told you back at the lab but you must not have heard me. Max, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life."
"Really?" Max asked propping herself up on her elbow to look at Logan for any trace of dishonesty.
"Yeah, really." Logan smiled. Max's face broke into a huge smile as she kissed Logan. "Does this mean that you're not packing up and leaving tomorrow?" Logan laughed as Max snuggled back down into the blankets.
"Maybe." She giggled, resting her head under Logan's chin. "I'm soooo tired." She mumbled.
"Me too." Logan admitted through a yawn. "But promise me you won't sleep for another two weeks."
"Sure. Wait – what? I was asleep for two weeks?" Max asked shocked.
"Yeah, you were. Don't' ever do that to me again." Logan demanded, pulling Max closer to him.
"Hey Logan?" Max asked sleepily.
"Hmm?"
"Did you ever think that all this would happen when you got a letter from a very confused and scared girl named Maxine Guevara?"
"Never in my wildest dreams could I have come up with the past few weeks." Logan told her groggily.
"Uhm."
"But I wouldn't trade them for anything." Logan added looking down at the angel in his arms.
"Good answer." she yawned, "I love you Logan." Max said drifting off into sleep.
"I love you too Angel." Logan told her as she laced her fingers through his. "I love you too."
Well guys there you go!
"Shadows of the Past" is now COMPLETE!!! Whew – I never thought I'd get here
for a while. Thanks again to everyone who reviewed – you guys are the best.
Kat, I love you – and you know it!
Please let me know what you thought of Shadows…I'm actually quite interested in
your opinions….feel special cause I have been know to say "You have the right
to your wrong opinion." But I don't feel that way with this. I honestly want to
know what you think….and since my ESP abilities are strictly limited to those in
the same room as me, I can't read your minds – meaning tell me! – lol I'm always excited to hear from readers so
feel free to email me if you want. Toodles!
Luvvbug101@hotmail.com
PS~ Merry Christmas people…..I finished in time just for you! :oD
