Disclaimer: I don't own these people im just using them in my fic so there you have it



1 A Christmas Idiot



The scene takes place at the mall. The dragoons and Kee (note: that's me) are buying each other gifts on Christmas Eve.

Kee: Why are we here? Isn't that fat, old fart the one that gives us gifts?

Dart: The old, fat fart is Santa Clause and we are buying each other gifts because you attacked him last year so he's not coming back remember?

Flashback

Santa is putting presents under their tree. Suddenly Kee walks in

Kee: Robbers!

Santa: No im Santa

Kee: LIAR!!!!!!!!!

Kee beats up Santa up badly then all the dragoons walk in

Dragoons: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kee: What?

Meru: That's The Easter Bunny idiot!!!!!!!

Miranda: No dumbass it's Santa

Meru: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME BITCH!!!!!!?????

Miranda and Meru fight and of course Meru kicks her ass good

Santa: Im am never coming back for that

Haschel&Kongol: Odd day

Kongol: I fart you all die now

Kee: Kongol 1.Shut up 2. Learn to speak proper English

Santa leaves . . . everyone cry's

Back to normal

Kee: No I don't remember

Albert: Well everyone else does now let's shop and Kee please don't buy us all cookies so you can eat it

Kee: D'OH

Everyone is at a store buying gifts. Shana and Meru are passing buy a mall Santa

Santa: Ho Ho Ho

Meru turns around

Meru: AM NOT BASTARD!!!!!!!!

Shana: Maybe he won't call you that if you wear something more than that bikini

Santa: You're that girl that lives with the demon child that beat me up last year huh?

They both walk away like nothing ever happened

After the shopping they all go back home. Kee isn't home because he's visiting his good friend Dee (Note: Yes the author and if you haven't read her fics then what are you waiting for?) the dragoons are wrapping gifts and talking

Meru: Christmas is the best

Miranda: Yeah

Meru: Shut up I wasn't talking to you I was talking to everyone else

Lloyd: Who has the tape?

Kongol: Tape?

Rose: You're not suppose to be in this fic Lloyd

Lloyd: I know I just came to get my gifts. But I want to know why im not here too? He never puts me in his fics and if he does it's for one scene then im gone

Rose: Because Kee hates you for killing Lavitz so he said the next time he sees you he will kill you, chop you up into burger meat, sell you, and then pee on your grave

Lavitz: Im alive, im not dead

Lloyd: Ohhhhhhh, that's why I killed him

Lavitz: IM NOT DEAD DAMMIT!!!!!!

Rose kills him by bashing his head with a present

Haschel: Now he is

Lloyd gets his gifts and leaves

Later that night when Kee comes back drunk off stupidity, everyone is asleep so he does too, later Kee hears a noise down stairs

Kee: Santa it's you!!!

Santa: Yes it is

Kee I thought you weren't coming back

Santa: I forgive you because I can see almost perfectly out of my eye now

Kee: YAY!!!! GREAT!!!!!!!

Everyone comes to the room

Dart: Kee NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Kee: Im not doing anything

Dart: Sorry it's a habit

Meru: Santa you're back

Santa leaves

Meru: he could've said bye

Everyone is opening gifts and they all get what they want

Kee: A PLAYSTATION2 THANKS SANTA YAY HURRAY AND COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kee starts to dance and sing "Happy happy joy joy" by Ren & Stimpy. Everyone ignores him

Dart: a new 110-inch T.V

Shana: A Goldfish, I'll name you Goldie II

(Note: Now you know there is probably going to be a Dragoon Cemetery 2 now)

Kee: Great another damn fish. Now you know there are going to be dead animals and Barbara Strizand again in this house and if they eat my food I will send you all to Chuck E. Cheese's to be surrounded by those creepy Umpa-Lumpas that give me nightmares again (If you don't understand read my other fics and you will)

Rose: A decapitated head THANK YOU!!!

Albert: A new king's scepter

Meru: CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! Non-skimpy bikinis boo

Kongol: book "Speaking good English for dummies" YEAH!!!!! Kongol like lots

Haschel: A Gift certificate for a nursing home thank you all

Dragoons and Kee: Happy Holidays from the Dragoons and Kee to you



The End

How did you like it? Please review OR ELSE I'll tell my mommy Mwahahahahaha ::coughs:: ok I'll stop now (