THE GIFT OF THE MAZOUKU - A SLAYERS STORY

Chapter 14 - We'll have a HOT time in the old springs today!

A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want? - Oscar Wilde

Lina and Yoyo had collected their reward money, which Amelia immediately demanded they return.

"We HAVE the Troll's treasure and its just plain UNJUST to take this poor town's money too!"

Lina finally agreed to return the money if and only if she destroyed any part of the town. Yoyo agreed as long as Gourry held on to the money.

"Satisfied now? Let's go eat! Gourry? Now where has he gone off to?" asked Lina.

Gourry was already seated at an outdoor café with Zel and Xelloss when Lina found him. He waved cheerfully while watching three waitresses set platters of food at the table.

"Finally!" screeched the redheaded sorceress.

"Look at all that FOOD!" cried Amelia.

"Oh.not again." sobbed Yoyo.

* * * *

"Zel! Earth to Zel! Come in Zel!" Lina demanded.

"Uh, huh? Were you saying something, Lina?" answered Xelloss-who- looks-like-Zel vaguely.

FUMES

"Mr. Zelgadiss, We've been worried about you. You have been acting.well, so differently lately," remarked Amelia.

"Really?"

"Like now! You're grinning like that nutty priest next to you!" said Lina pointing to Zelgadiss-w-l-l-Xelloss.

Zelgadiss-w-l-l-Xelloss stood smiling, "Well, I'll be going to the hot springs. Anyone care to join me?"

Yoyo swallowed her mouthful, "Yeah, I'm about done."

That's when Xelloss-who-looks-like-Zel remembered the brand emblazoned across his chest; that is, Zel's chest now! Oopsy!

"Hey! Maybe you don't want to do that!"

Of course, he jumped up so fast that he bumped the table, sending plates of food spilling onto Lina and Amelia's laps.

"OKAY ZEL, THAT'S IT! SAY YOUR PRAYERS TO WHICHEVER GODS WATCH OVER YOU CAUSE I'M GOING TO .FIREBALL!"

Zelgadiss-w-l-l-Xelloss hugged Yoyo and dove over the outside wall, "Shall we be moving on to the hot springs now?"

Amelia dove at the legs of Xelloss-w-l-l-Zel, knocking him to the ground, and safety, an instant before Lina's blast blew past the spot where he had been standing. The outside wall was reduced to rubble, best known as Lina's trademark 'Lina's Been Here'.

Gourry shook his head; "Looks like we just lost some of that reward money."

BLUSH

Xelloss-w-l-l-Zel removed Amelia's arms from around his legs and helped her up, "Er.. Ah...thanks. We'd better hurry along, Miss Amelia."

Lina watched them go and sighed, "Gourry, something's up and there's nothing left fit to eat so.let's go!"

"Oh, okay, Lina. Wait for me!" The tall blond handed the angry, red-faced café owner some of their reward money and hopped the debris wall to go chasing after Lina.

* * * *

Zelgadiss-who-looks-like-Xelloss was in paradise. He hadn't been swimming in so long. He dove, he swam, he spouted water like a deep-sea-dolphin ha, ha , and splashed, giddy with the freedom of a human body. Yoyo had slipped into her swimsuit and cautiously climbed into the water. His joy and silliness were infectious, however, and soon she joined in, splashing and laughing hysterically. Sadly, such was the happiness-karma characteristic to the Chimera, that of course it could not last for long.

Xelloss-who-looks-like-Zel ran to the water's edge and stared in amazement. It's gone?! What happened to my brand?

Amelia stared also, but had a different reaction, "That looks like fun! I'm going in.you should change too, Mr. Zelgadiss!" and she closed herself in a dressing room.

Xelloss-w-l-l-Zel moved into a changing room further away. He quickly removed his cloak and tunic.

GASP!

The rocky blue surface of his chest was scarred with the words:

PROPERTY OF ZELAS METALLIUM

Shit! I can't let them see me like this. I must get the Hell out of here.

"Okay! Where is he? Zelgadiss, where are you hiding!" Lina screamed.

Amelia shouted back from her dressing room, "He's changing his clothes, Lina! There I feel better. Here I go FOR JUSTICE EVERYWHERE, THE RIGHTEOUS DIVE BOMB!"

SPLASH

"Gourry!"

"I'm almost changed, Lina!"

Xelloss-w-l-l-Zel was wishing a teleport would work, but since the body transfer with Zelgadiss, his powers were too far diminished. Gourry emerged from the dressing room, when Lina ripped off her clothes to the surprise of everyone present.

STARE! SWEATDROPS

She had her bathing suit on underneath. "Yeesh you guys! What did you think?"

Xelloss-w-l-l-Zel chose this moment to attempt an escape. Lina's distraction, unplanned as it was, was perfect. Gourry's timing was not.Xelloss-w-l-l-Zel had hastily bundled his cloak and tunic against his chest and turned- right into the blond swordsman coming out of the changing room next door.

"Hey Zel! Lina's looking for you.Lina! Did you want to talk to Zelgadiss?"

NO, no! Xelloss-w-l-l-Zel was shaking his head violently and squirming, but Gourry held him fast.

"Yeah! Throw him in here," Lina leered savagely.

"But Miss Lina! Mr. Zelgadiss will sink! He might drown!" cried Amelia.

Yes! Thank you, Amelia!

"He deserves it! He's bugging me. He messed with my lunch! Besides, it's not that deep. Now Gourry!"

"Right Lina!"

"There goes the rock." observed Yoyo dryly.

SPLASH!

Xelloss-w-l-l-Zel shot his head out of the water sputtering and gasping for air. Gourry stood holding his clothes and bag. Lina moved in a flash of red to his side, and swiftly grasped a clump of wiry hair, then yanked him closer. That's when she noticed the brand emblazoned across his chest:

1 PROPERTY OF ZELAS METALLIUM

"GASP!"

"My Gods, Zelgadiss what in all of Ruby-eye Shabrinigdo's kingdom is THAT!"

"Mr. Xelloss must have sold Mr. Zelgadiss to his Mistress! How could you do something so UNJUST?" cried Amelia.

He shook himself free of Lina and moved to the side, sinking into the shallow water, then sighed, "It's a brand, Lina.and I'm not Zelga."

But before he could finish, Yoyo screamed as a black shimmering Astral aura appeared beside Gourry on the shore. A seductively beautiful woman wearing a short black dress with deep side slits instantly replaced that image.

"Xelloss, is that you?" She took a long drag from a cigarette in a long ivory holder. PUFF

Then she gracefully moved to Xelloss-who-still-looks-like-Zel, like a leopard towards its prey, and purred, "My dear, what HAVE you been up to? "

FACEFAULTS all around

Yoyo recovered first. "Well! I don't know who the F*** you are disturbing our party, but that's Zelgadiss you're talking to. Xelloss is over here. Now since you're uninvited and, from the look on everyone's face, unwanted, why don't you just go take a HIKE!"

GASP! SWEATDROPS!

Lady Beastmaster, for that truly was the woman, generally ignored humans. Now she coolly leveled her sultry gaze at the outrageous human girl, "I don't believe we've met. But before you die, perhaps Lina would introduce us."

Lina had let go of 'Zel's' hair and moved to protect Yoyo. "Don't say another word," she whispered into Yoyo's ear, then aloud said, "Lady Beastmaster Zelas Metallium of the Mazouku, may I introduce Yolande of the uninformed-about-Mazouku-hierarchy."

Xelloss added, "This is, pardon me, was my employer, and she could end all of our lives in the blink of an eye, if she so wished, so.be polite and invite her Ladyship to stay, hummm?"

"Call me Yoyo, Ma'am," she squeaked.

Zelas was getting bored with all of this. She smiled at Xelloss-who-still- looks-like-Zel, "Thank you darling, but I can't stay long. Important business and all that.I was checking up on you. By the way, dear, are you unable to switch back by any chance? Nice trick, but I don't think you're up to anything that powerful, hummm?"

SNAP

SPLASH

Poor Zelgadiss sank like a rock into the deeper water, where he had been swimming minutes before. Gourry dove in and drug the heavy Chimera to shore. Xelloss bowed his head and murmured, "Mistress, I am honored."

"Of course you are, Xell-chan. Have you had problems with hoards of ladder- climbing Mazouku?"

"Some, Mistress."

"I'm thinking of one in particular, big hulk of a wolf named Oxceplin?"

Shit not that bastard!

"No, Mistress."

"Well, be prepared. He's got his eye on your job. Consider this a favor for past work?"

"Thank you.May I ask you why?"

"Cut to the chase, yes? Well, dear, Oxceplin is not my type, too coarse, you know. Besides, I have someone else in mind, you may remember him.I will have to wait a little longer, bit young yet, but he is growing fast. Gaav really botched his transformation before, damaged his Zyuzoku features. I'll do a better job. He'll be perfect! Xelloss stop glaring at me. I haven't touched him yet. And I didn't hurt your little Dragon girlfriend either. I just dropped by to see the boy, Valentine?.yes that's the name."

"He's running around, wild child. The combination of maces and vases is, hmmm, exciting when he's around. Well, darling, that's all my news.Oh yes! Little Seyruun princess, I hear a wedding is in the works! I do hope I'm invited! Is that another of your projects, Xell-chan? No, don't bother to answer that. Lina, I haven't forgotten you. Has my Xell-dear mentioned your Knighthood darling? No? Well,Xelloss, you still have work to do so I'll go now. And, please, be more careful from now on. Ciao!" SHIMMER

"Gods what a bitch! No wonder you quit work'n for that stuck-up manipulating, what was that? Oh yeah, Mazouku Lord. What kind of work would a priest do for.oh, that makes you a-a-a M-Mazouku!" Yoyo realized with a start.

"Would someone shut her up!" he whined, then Xelloss sank into the water disappear, go to Hell, any nice place far away from here. .

"Ahhh, Lina, I guess we know why Zel's been acting so strange, huh? He was pretending to be Xelloss to protect him from attacking Mazouku," offered Gourry.

"Good thinking, Gourry, but don't give me any credit for this stupidity. I believed (delusional idiot I have become) Xelloss when he offered to cure me. I don't know which is worse, you knowing I was that stupid, or that desperate." mourned Zel.

"Mr. Zelgadiss, it's okay now. We don't blame you for trying. So, how did feel to look human again?" asked Amelia, sympathetically.

"Huh, well, sometimes it was okay, like getting to swim again or getting a free room in the inn because I was mistaken for a priest. But, my powers were altered and.looking like that .guy.didn't do me any favors with my friends!"

Lina looked at Xelloss, who had become mysteriously quiet.

"You owe Zelgadiss an apology for tricking him, and us too.but I guess that's not going to happen. You can't help the way you are, can you? Ha, Ha, Ha!"

POUND

"That's for tricking me POUND , that is for tricking Gourry POUND, that is for tricking Amelia POUND, POUND, POUND , that's for tricking Zel POUND, that's for spilling lunch on me."

"Ow, Lina.ooh.now just a little lower.ahh.that's right.Ooo." teased the Mazouku.

Lina stopped. "Zelgadiss? Don't think you're getting off easy. You kept a secret from us, from ME! " Lina began to smolder.

"You'd better run, Zel," advised Gourry.

"Come back here and face Lina's JUST and RIGHTEOUS wrath!" added Amelia.

"What's JUST wrath?"

"Amelia! Jellyfish brains! Get out of my way! Awww he's getting away!"

"So.Lina what did that lady mean about Val-chan? And I didn't know you were going to be a Knight!" wondered Gourry.

Xelloss had recovered from Lina's pounding in time to hear Gourry Oh no, not that, got to go. .

Lina's eyes glowed, fangs appeared.

"Well, Xelloss, this IS your lucky day. Tell you what. I won't send a DRAGON SLAVE through your heart, or whatever beats in here yuck and you will explain your ex-master's implications. Got it?"

Nods

"Good. Start talking buster."

Why do I let her do this to me.ahhh, I can just about transport again.

"My, my Lina, what good memories you have. I did hear that too, but I don't think now's the time to discuss it. I have other business to attend to first, but." he paused to sidle up nose-to-nose with Lina, then clasped her hand, which was still pressed to his chest, and whispered sensuously, "I'll see you tonight.."

SHIMMER

"DRAGON SLA.."

Gourry, Amelia, and Yoyo dove under the water.

"Oh, well, he's gone anyway. I want to enjoy this hot springs and then eat a real dinner and sleep in a real bed and.Where is everyone?"