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Wednesday, Free Period after Flying I guess I should have my picture on the front
page of the Prophet more often (for things that don't make me out to be a
Scarlet woman, that is).
Suddenly I am very popular.
I walked into the Great Hall (I told
Nick to keep five paces behind me at all times; he kept stepping on the back of my Docs),
and Pansy Parkinson, of all people, came prancing up to me and said, Hey, Hermione. Why don't you come and sit with us?
I am not even kidding.
That lousy hypocrite wants to be
friends with me, now that I'm a goddess.
Lavender and Parvati were right behind
me (well, Nick was right behind me; Lavender and Parvati where right behind Nick). But did Pansy invite Lavender and Parvati to join
her? Of course not. The Daily Prophet didn't call either
of them a petite beauty. Plain old
boring Gryffindors aren't good enough to sit by Pansy. Oh, no. Only
pure-bred Olympian goddesses are good enough to sit by Pansy.
I nearly threw up all over the books I
was holding in my arms because they didn't fit in my bag.
No, thanks, Pansy, I said. I already have people to sit with.
You should have seen Pansy's
face. The last time I saw her look that
shocked, a custard tart had been stuck to her chest.
Later, when we were sitting down at
our end of the Gryffindor table, away from Harry and Ron and Ginny, Lavender and Parvati
were only nibbling at their lunches. Meanwhile
though, everybody in the Great Hall – including the Hufflepuffs who never noticed
anything – was staring at our end of the table.
Let me tell you, it was way uncomfortable. I
could feel Ginny's eyes boring into me. She
hadn't said anything yet, but I think she had to have known. Nothing much escapes Ginny.
Anyway, after a while, I couldn't
stand it anymore. I put down a forkful of
rice and beans and said, Look, guys. If
you two don't want me to sit with you anymore, I understand.
Parvati's big brown eyes filled
up with tears. I mean it. She shook her head, and her long black braid
swayed. What do you mean? she
asked.
Lavender looked down at her plate. Don't you like us anymore,
Hermione?
It was my turn to be shocked. What? Of
course I like you two. I thought maybe you
might not like me. I mean, everyone is
staring at us and talking about us. I could
see why you might not want to sit with me.
Parvati smiled sadly. Everyone always talks about us. They think we're cookes because we like
Divination.
So you see, Lavender said,
We're used to people thinking we're weird. It's you we feel sorry for, Hermione. You could be sitting with anyone – anyone
in the whole Great Hall – and yet you're stuck with us. We don't want you to feel you have to be nice
to us, just because no one else is.
I got really mad then. Not at Lavender and Parvati. But at everybody else at Hogwarts. I mean, Lavender and Parvati are really, really
nice, and no one knows it, because no one ever talks to them, because they keep to
themselves and they're kind of quiet and they have the Inner Eye. While people are worrying about things like the
sweetshop over-charging some people by five Knuts for sugar quills, there are human beings
walking around our school in abject misery because no one will even say Good Morning to
them, or How Was Your Weekend?
And then felt guilty, because I week
ago I had been one of those people. I
had always thought people who believed in Divination were freaks. The whole reason I hadn't wanted anyone to
find out that I was a goddess was that I was afraid they'd treat me the way
they treated Lavender and Parvati. And now
that I know Lavender and Parvati, I know just how wrong I'd been to think badly of
them.
So I told Lavender and Parvati that I
didn't want to sit with anyone else but them.
I told her that we needed to stick together because everyone else at this stupid
school is absolutely NUTS.
They both looked a lot happier then,
and started filling me in on the dress robes they are wearing on Saturday night and how
they're going to do their hair and stuff. They are both so excited. I
smiled and nodded.
Then I saw Ginny staring in my
direction. It wasn't the kind of stare
someone who was about to apologize would use. So
I wasn't too surprised when later, as we were heading out of the oak front doors to
go outside for our classes, Ginny walked near us and stared some more. Harry kept trying to talk to her, but she
obviously wasn't listening. Finally, he
gave up, and went off to get his Firebolt from the broomshed.
Meanwhile, this is how my tutoring
session with Ron went, although we never got off the ground:
Me: Hi, Ron. I was thinking
about what you said about the vertical pivots, and I just can't seem to figure out
how I hold on to the broom properly so I don't slip right down it.
Ron: So. Goddess of Mount
Olympus, huh? Were you ever going to share
that little piece of info with the group, or were we all supposed to guess?
Me: I was kind of hoping no one would ever find out.
Ron: Well, that's obvious. I
don't see why, though. It's not
like it's a bad thing.
Me: Are you kidding me? Of
course it's bad!
Ron: Did you even read the article in today's Prophet,
Hermione?
Me: No way, I'm not going to read that trash. I don't know who this Darla Prattellez
thinks she is, but –
Then Ginny got into the act. It was like she couldn't stand to not get
involved.
Ginny: So you're not aware that the Queen Goddess of Mount Olympia
– namely your mother – has a total personal worth which, including real estate
property and the palace's art collection, is estimated at over three hundred million
Galleons?
Well, I guess it's pretty
obvious that Ginny read the article in today's Prophet.
Me: Um
Hello? Three hundred million Galleons?? And I get a
lousy 100 Galleons a day???
Ginny: I wonder how much of that fortune was amassed by brainwashing the
common labourer?
Ron: Considering the deity of Greece have been around since the beginning of
time just about, since before there actually was people to I would
say none of it. What is with you
anyway, Gin?
Ginny: Well, if you want to tolerate the excesses of the deity, you
can be my guest, Ron. But I happen to think
it's disgusting, with the state of the world being what it is at the moment, with
You-Know-Who running around again like a manic, that one person can have the powers to
cause the destruction of the globe or have a total wealth of three hundred million
Galleons. Especially some one who never did a
day's work for it!
Ron: Pardon me, Ginny, but it's my understanding that Hermione's
mother works very hard for her heavens and the people whom it supports. And I'm surprised you didn't know,
Ginny, with your overarching obsession with feminism, that Ancient Greek religion first
proposed the concept that women were more important than men. Tens of thousands of years ago, as the evidence of
cave art and artefacts make clear, humanity was focused on the female body, either
pregnant or fit to bare children. Childbirth
was the closest humans came to the great power that caused the earth to bring forth new
life in the spring. These distant ancestors
of ours were evolved enough to think of worshipping this power. And this great power was female, for the human
female has the ability to procreate – to bring forth new life.
I could only stare at Ron after
that. Wow. Since when did he become so articulate? And why doesn't Grandmamma teach me stuff
like that at our goddess lessons? I
mean, this is information I could actually use. I
don't exactly need to know which direction to tip my soup bowl. I need to know how to defend myself against
virulent anti-deitists like my ex-best friend Ginny.
Ginny (to Ron): Shut up. (To me): I see they already have you spouting of their
populist propaganda like a good little girl.
Me: Me? Ron's the
one who –
Ron: Aw, Ginny, you're just jealous.
Ginny: I am not!
Ron: Yes, you are. You're
jealous because she got her hair cut without consulting you. You're jealous because you stopped talking to
her, and she went out and got new friends. And
you're jealous, because all his time, Hermione's had this secret she didn't
tell you.
Ginny: Ron, SHUT UP!
Harry: (hovering past on his Firebolt) Ginny?
Did you say something?
Ginny: I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, HARRY!
Harry: Sorry. (Flies away)
Ginny: (really mad now) Gosh, Ron, you sure are quick to come to Hermione's
defence all of a sudden. I wonder if maybe it
ever occurred to you that your argument, which is ostensibly based on logic, might have
less intellectual that libidinous roots?
Ron: (turning red for some reason) Well, what about your persecution of the
Honeydukes? Is that rooted in intellectual
reasoning? Or is it more an example of vanity
run amok?
Ginny: That's a circular argument.
Ron: It isn't. It's
empirical.
Um, since when did Ginny and Ron
start using words that even I don't know the meaning of?
Ron (to me): So does this guy (he pointed to Nick) have to follow you
around everywhere from now on?
Me: Yes.
Ron: Really? Everywhere?
Me: Everywhere except the Ladies' Room.
Then he waits outside.
Ron: What if you were to go on a date? Like
to the Halloween Ball this weekend?
Me: That hasn't exactly been an issue, considering that no one's
asked me.
Neville: (hanging on a turret on the castle wall) Um, can someone help me up
here? I lost control of my broom and I sort
of got stuck.
Everyone in the Flying class: NO!!!
Madam Hooch: (looking up from her copy of Quidditch Refs Weekly) What's
all this noise? I can hardly hear myself
think. Neville, why are you hanging off the castle wall? Get down now.
Harry, Ron, go and help him. Hermione,
come here and show me your braking.
I need to take a closer look at
that article in today's Prophet. Three
hundred million Galleons?? Does Gringotts
actually hold that much gold?
And if we deities are so powerful, WHY
CAN'T I RIDE A BROOMSTICK????
Note to self: Look up the words empirical
and libidinous. |