Disclaimer:
Everything you recognise from Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling (aka The Goddess – a real one)
Everything you recognise from The Princess Diaries belongs to Meg Cabot
Ambrosia Vodka – Drink of the Gods' belongs to Gwenn, from her story On Falling (go read it, it's BRILLIANT!)
I own nothing :o)

Author's Note:
Sorry this is late, but I hope it's long enough to make up for my tardyness! Well Wow. We're here. At the end. I can't believe it! ::takes out a hanky and blows nose:: It's been such a blast! Thank you to everyone who's laughed and let me know, it really, truly means a lot to me! Who knew when I started this that I'd end up with reviews numbering 300ish and would end up nudging a whole load of HP fans to start reading The Princess Diaries?! It's been great, it really, truly has!

OK, so although the general storyline's the same, this chapter is a little off from what exactly happens in TPD – I even wrote an original entry! I am so proud of myself! :oD – and I hope it doesn't divinely suck (::cough::) and works better for the Hogwarts context. Plus the small change to the plot at the end lets me skive off doing the sequel, heh heh heh, but I think you'll like it! :o)
Fifty house points and more Oliver-beans to anyone who can tell me which argument in canon was the basis for the last bit of the dialogue in the tiff that Ron and Hermione have in the first entry of this chapter. It's sort of obscure, but we'll see if anyone gets it.

Thank yous new from last chapter to: Dé[]_ª¥D RéÅç+ïºñ, Aurin, maryd, mickey (who gets Oliver-beans for coming up with the most creative idea for that question from Part Eight – see reviews), Jonpotter, Tiger Starr, Helen, Caitlin, Ninth Lady, Princess Nightshade, Adnap Nottap, Black Aura, cn, giggles, moonbeam, pokey, Jessie M. Potter, Ginny Ha-Ha and Lady Louisa. Oh, and just a quick little message for Kate: Leave. A. Review, gosh darn it!!!


The Goddess Diaries - Part Ten

She gets kidnapped. He gets killed.
But it all ends up okay.
– video jacket cover of The Princess Bride

Saturday Afternoon

You know what? I have had enough of whatever is wrong with Ronald Weasley. ENOUGH.
E-N-O-U-G-H. I ask you, who on Earth gave him permission to act like a complete and utter prat? I mean it. Not that he ever waits for permission to act like a like a well. I don't like swearing, so you get the idea.
Humph.
I got back to school just now, after a marathon day of beauty at Chez Paolo and about an hour in Madam Malkin's until we found some dress robes that Grandmamma approved of, and the last thing I needed was to see Ron sitting in an armchair facing the portrait hole, ready to bite the first-person-to-climb-through's head off. Actually, for all I know, he could have been waiting to yell at me, since he seemed to be quite prepared.
And let me tell you, I was in no mood to be messed with. I had had my LEGS WAXED. And the incompetent hag who did it forgot to put on a Numbing Charm and let me tell you, it HURT. And if you don't think that getting your legs waxed hurts, you are mental. Merlin, I'm telling you, who needs the Cruciatus Curse when you could just wax your victim's legs? I mean it.
So I climbed into the common room with my hair all out and straight, my face all made up, carrying my new dress robes in a bag, in a rather bad mood, and I didn't really expect to see anyone since it was another Hogsmeade weekend – Professor Dumbledore had allowed another one so that people could get any last minute things for the Ball – but there was Ron, sitting in a wing chair by a window with some book in his lap, totally glaring at me.
I said, as I looked over at him.
He just kept on glaring. Only now his face started to go red. It was mad red, not embarrassed red (I can tell, I haven't been friends with him for this long to not know how his colour-coded-emotion-signalling-system works).
Ron? What? I said, starting to get annoyed. I hate it when he goes quiet. It means he's getting ready to explode. The calm before the storm, or whatever.
said Ron.
I waited for the rest of it. He said nothing.
So what? I said. It was getting ridiculous.
So you've got yourself all prettied up for the Ball again, said Ron. How nice.
How nice of him to sound so sarcastically mocking.
I stared at him. Glad you like it, I said, all sarcastically back.
Ron snorted. But it wasn't a laughing snort, though. It was an annoyed snort.
I said again. What is your problem?
My problem is that you – he started yelling really quickly. Then stopped again and looked at me. There was like this totally long silence. Why Malfoy? he said, finally. He kind of said it really softly, but loud enough for me to hear.
Because he asked me! I said, all exasperatedly.
Ron blinked at me. Then he shook his head.
I practically cried out.
He pushed himself out of his chair and marched right up to me. You don't get it, do you? he said, all meanly.
Get what? What have you got against Draco? What, Ron? What? I was getting really sick of saying what' all the time.
First Vicky, now Draco, Ron said, all scowling. Who're you going to the next ball with, Hermione? Vol – ? He stopped yelling really abruptly when he realised he was about to say You-Know-Who's name.
I just looked at him like I couldn't believe he said that. Which I couldn't. Who is he to tell me who I can and can't go to a ball with? I'm asking you, WHO. IS. HE. TO. SAY. THAT? I mean, if he wanted to go to the Halloween Ball with me, then, yes, he'd have every right to be mad at me. Because then he would be jealous. But he doesn't want to go the Ball with me, because HE. NEVER. ASKED. ME. He could have, too. Asked me, I mean. He totally could have asked me a million times. And I totally would have gone with him, too. I mean it. I practically TOLD him last year to invite me to the next ball. Remember? Ask me before someone else does and not as a last resort. I remember it off by heart because I spent so long running that particular fight over and over in my head and kicking myself for having been so blatantly obvious. I mean, I practically spelled it out for him. If he had asked me, I. WOULD. HAVE. GONE. WITH. HIM. But did he ask me? No. Why? Because HE. DOESN'T. WANT. TO. GO. WITH. ME. He doesn't even want to go, period.
Ron being a dunderhead over me going to the Ball with Draco has nothing to do with being jealous. It has nothing to do with the fact that he wants to go with me but someone asked me first. It, however, has EVERYTHING to go with the fact that he is totally a complete and utter prat. It's as simple as that.
So then I got pretty mad at Ron. First Ginny, now you. Great, I said, raising my voice. Everyone hates me and now they hate me even more because Draco Malfoy happens to like me and he asked me to the Halloween Ball.
Ron went pale. I mean it. All the colour just totally drained from his face.
But I just have one question, I said, stepping closer to him. Why. Do. You. Care? With each word, I jabbed him in the chest with the newly French manicured index finger of the hand that wasn't holding the bag with my new dress robes in it (well, all my fingers had been French manicured, not just my index finger on the hand that wasn't holding the bag with my new dress robes in it. I just used that finger to jab Ron).
Ron looked right down at me. You don't get it, do you? he said.
I looked up at him (he's even taller than Draco Malfoy) and felt my eyes getting narrower and my mouth getting smaller like what happens when I get really, really mad. Because that was what I was. Really, really mad. Get. What. Ron? I said, really, really loudly, so that the volume of my voice matched the volume of my madness (as in angriness, not mental caseness. If anyone was acting like a mental case, it was Ron).
Ron shook his head and started tutting sarcastically. You're the top student at Hogwarts, but you just can't even see what's right in front of you, can you, Hermione?
My eyes got narrower. I can see exactly what's in front of me, thank you very much. I can see you acting like a complete and utter prat! I yelled.
That's hardly it, Hermione, said Ron, all harshly
Well then, Ron, I said. Tell me what I'm missing here.
Oh come on, Hermione. Isn't obvious? said Ron, with a look of maddening superiority.
If you don't want to tell me, don't, I snapped.
said Ron.
I said.
Then we both just stood there for like five minutes. Seriously. Just looking at each other all madly and breathing very loudly, the only difference between him and me being that he was looking down and I was looking up. I can't tell you how mad I was.
Then I just walked away.
You know, I think we've had that exact same argument before, only the other way around.
I only just now realised how close to him I was standing. It didn't occur to me at the time, I was too mad to notice. He smelled like soap
Oh no I just got a towel image. Bad, bad, bad. STOP. IT.
OK.
So.
Moving on.
There was another really important reason why I didn't notice how close to Ron I was standing, too. Another reason than the fact I was really man, I mean. I didn't notice because I was trying really hard not to cry. I mean it. He was being so totally mean, the way he was staring at me, all angry-red in the face. When he gets me really mad when we fight, Ron sometimes also makes me want to cry. I try to never cry in front of him though – that would give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to me. But he does get to me. I don't like fighting with him. I really don't. So anyway, I didn't notice how close he was standing because was trying not to cry because otherwise he'd know he'd gotten to me.
Not that it matters that I was standing really close to him. I just had to point out that he was making me cry, even though I tried really hard not to.
I mean, I had all the makeup that Paolo had piled on me on. It took him a really long time too, to put all that makeup on, so I wouldn't want to mess it up, no matter I stupid I think I look in it all. That wouldn't be very nice of me to mess up all of Paolo's hard work.
And speaking of makeup and stuff, I should get ready.

Vocabulary Building Exercise – Definition of the Day
Ron Weasley: (noun) complete and utter prat. eg, Stop being such a Ron Weasley.

Saturday night, 7:15pm, my room

Well, I'm sitting here in my new dress robes, which are actually quite stunning. I actually think I sort of look nice in them. Who am I kidding? I look better than I have in my whole entire life! Old Madam Malkin, she really outdid herself – these dress robes are HOT: they're red silk, and they are so soft and really, really floaty (actually, these dress robes are even floatier than my dress robes for the Yule Ball last year), and come all the way down to my matching red silk high heels. With my hair being blonde and all now, I kind of think I resemble a flame. According to Madam Malkin, this is the look of the new millennium: flames are in.
Ok, I should go downstairs now, Lavender just came in and said Nick is waiting down in the common room for me. Yeah, Dad said I can go to the Ball with Draco as long as Nick goes with me. This is no big thing since I totally expected that Nick would go, anyway. But I pretended to be really mad when Nick told me so that when he told my Dad, he (my Dad) wouldn't think I was getting off too easy.
I am totally going to have the most excellent time! I just know it! Nothing anyone – including Ginny and especially Ron – can do or say is going to make it bad.
I'm going to leave this book here, but I'll tell you all about it tomorrow!

More Saturday night, First Floor Girls' Bathroom

OK, so I lied. I just Summoned this book from my room. I just felt like writing in it since well since so far the Halloween Ball hasn't been all that fun.
When I got down to the common room, Harry and Ginny were talking to Ron, who looked just as mad as he did when I left him there this afternoon. They kept saying something to him and he just kept shaking his head. Then he saw me and like totally glared at me. Nick was talking to him too, actually. Great, now my bodyguard's in league with people who don't like me.
So then I went out of Gryffindor tower with Nick, Lavender and Seamus and Parvati and Dean. But when I got to the Entrance Hall, Draco wasn't there! I was freaking. I mean it. I thought I had gotten stood up! I was so ready to cry. I told the other four to go on in without me, and Nick got out his wand and started polishing it with his robes. I bet my Dad told him to hex Draco if he tried to make a move on me. Which I thought didn't have any chance whatsoever of happening since he hadn't shown up. But then I thought, maybe something happened to hold him up. I mean, anything could have gone wrong. He might have accidentally oh, I don't know.
Then anyway, while I was stressing, at like 7:45, Draco came up the stairs from the dungeons, and came over to me. And you wouldn't even believe what he did:
He took my hand and he kissed it!!! So what if he was a little late? Dinner didn't start until 8:00 anyway. Then he gave me my corsage (tiny white roses tied together with pink ribbon, totally gorgeous: it must have cost him ten galleons at least. I couldn't help thinking, though, that he'd originally picked it out for another girl, who had different coloured dress robes) and hooked his arm around mine and walked me inside to Great Hall, which was all decorated with floating Jack-o-lanterns and everything. (Nick promised he wouldn't come and sit with us. He said he would stand by the doors and look at everybody who came in in a mean way, like a security troll – only, as I noticed a bunch of 7th Years had noticed, he looked better than a security troll.)
There were lots of little tables instead of the House tables, like the Yule Ball last year. It was sort of dark and I couldn't see Lavender and Parvati or anybody, even though I was looking for them. But then Draco sort of dragged me over to a table near the back where all his entourage from the Slytherin Quidditch team and their cheerleader girlfriends were already sitting.
I have to say, everyone has been pretty nice. The girls all complimented me on my dress robes and asked me questions about being a goddess, like how weird was it to wake up and see your picture on the front of the Prophet, and do I ever make earthquakes, and stuff like that. Most of them are 7th Years, as Draco's the youngest player on his Quidditch team (AND he's captain!), so they're pretty mature. None of them have made comments about how I can't fly a broomstick, or anything, like Pansy would have, if she'd been here.
But then, if Pansy were here, I wouldn't be.
Dinner didn't go as great as I thought it would, though. I mean, there's only one fork to use so it's nothing to get freaked out about, and I do know from Grandmamma how to tilt my soup bowl away from me, but that's not it:
It's Draco.
Don't get me wrong. He looks totally hot in his dress robes. He told me he got them in Italy over the summer. His family are friends with the Italian Minister of Magic, and he escorted his girlfriend before Pansy (the Italian MoM's daughter) to heaps of really important parties and Balls and stuff.
I don't know why Draco told me this. Am I supposed to be impressed by who his ex-girlfriend's dad is? He isn't acting very sensitively, if you ask me.
The thing is, he's hardly even talking to me. We actually don't have a lot to say to each other. I mean, when he met me in the Entrance Hall, Draco was like, You look really nice in those dress robes, and I said I liked his, and thanked him for my corsage. And then we didn't say anything to each other for like, twenty minutes.
I am not even kidding. I was so embarrassed! I mean, I hang out with boys quite a lot. Two of my best friends are boys, and I don't have any problems with THEM. I mean, Ron practically never shuts up. I thought about asking him who he'd rather spend eternity with if it was the end of the world and he had to choose, Celestina Warbeck or Madam Rosmerta, but I didn't feel like I knew him well enough
The thing that surprised me most was when Draco conjured up a bottle of vodka, which he passed around to the rest of the table. Alcohol! I couldn't believe it. How irresponsible can you get? And Draco is a prefect! When he offered me some, I politely said, No, thank you, even when he said, Oh come on, it's Ambrosia Vodka – Drink of the Gods! with this smirk on his face because I suppose he thought it was funny.
And then, without even asking me, Draco ordered dinner for the whole table: filet mignon for everyone. I guess that's very nice and all, but I won't eat meat, not even for the most sensitive boy in the world, which Draco isn't really acting like tonight. I just wish he had asked me. He had no problem asking me about the vodka.
And he hasn't even noticed that I haven't touched my food! I totally had to fill up on salad and bread rolls to keep from starving to death.
Maybe I could sneak out of here and get something from the kitchens. But I guess the poor house elves will be really busy and over worked, I wouldn't want to bother them.
And the funny thing is, the more vodka Draco has to drink, the more he keeps on touching me. Like he keeps on putting his hand on my leg under the table. At first I thought it was a mistake, but he's done it four times now. The last time, he squeezed!
I don't think he's drunk, exactly, but he's certainly friendlier than he was in the first half-hour. Maybe he's feeling less inhibited, with Nick not hovering around right behind me (he was sort of leaning against the wall trying to ignore all these 6th Year Ravenclaw girls – including Cho Chang! – who keep trying to catch his eye).
Well, I guess I should go back out there. I just wish Draco had told me we'd be sitting with all his friends. Then maybe I could have asked Lavender, Parvati, Dean and Seamus – or even Ginny and Harry – to come and sit with us. Then at least I'd have someone fun to talk to.
Oh, well. Here goes nothing.

Later Saturday night, My Room, Gryffindor Tower

Why?
Why??
Why???
I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe this is happening to ME!
WHY? WHY ME? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME these things have to happen to????
I'm trying to remember what Grandmamma told me, about how to act under duress. Because I am definitely under duress. I keep trying to breath in through my nose, out through my mouth like Grandmamma said. In through my nose, out through my –
HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME??? HOW, HOW, HOW??????????!!!!!
I could rip his stupid face off. I could hex him to Antarctica and back. I could slap him harder than I did in 3rd Year. I really could. I mean, who does he think he is? Do you know what he did? Do you know what he did? Well, let me tell you what he did:
So, after finishing of all that vodka, Draco decided that instead of dancing we should go for a walk outside. Oh, gee, let me see, this is a ball, isn't dancing what you're SUPPOSED to do?
So we head out of the Great Hall and I was thinking, maybe everything would be alright, since while we were walking, Draco had his arm around my shoulders, which was really nice, since my dress robes are sleeveless, and even though I have a wrap, it's just this shimmery see-through veil thing. So I'm appreciative of his arm since it's keeping me warm. It's a nice arm, really, very muscular from all that Snitch-catching. The only problem is, Draco doesn't smell that good, not like Ron, who always smells like soap. No, I think Draco must have taken a bath in aftershave, or something, a kind of aftershave that in large doses actually smells pretty vile. I could hardly breathe, but whatever. In spite of that, I'm thinking, OK, things aren't that bad. Yes, he didn't respect my rights as a vegetarian, but you know, everybody makes mistakes. And I can't stop him from drinking. That's his choice; I have no control over his choices. Like I said, everybody makes mistakes. We'll just get away from his friends and he'll look into my soul again with those crystal grey eyes and everything will be all right.
Boy, was I ever wrong.
First of all, we could hardly get out onto the grounds, which didn't have any decorations or anything, which actually surprised me. I guess last year they had all those ice statues and stuff to show off to everyone from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons.
But I digress.
At first I couldn't figure out why so many people were hanging around outside, a little way down the path from the oak front doors so you can't see them until you're already a bit outside Yes, lots of people leave balls to go snogging in the rose bushes, or whatever, but there shouldn't be THAT many people out there, right? I mean, at least, not right out in the open.
And then I realised why there's so many people. There are reporters standing all over the place, smoking Billywigs, testing out their Quick-Quotes Quills, waiting.
Waiting for what?
Waiting for me, it turns out.
As soon as Nick saw the reporters he started to swear very colourfully in some language that wasn't English, French or Greek. But you could tell they were swear words by his voice. I turned around to him and was like, How could they have known? How could they have known? Could Grandmamma have told him?
But you know, I really don't think Grandmamma would have done this. I really don't. Not after our talk. I laid it on the line for Grandmamma. I came down on her like an Auror on a Death Eater. Grandmamma would not, I'm sure, EVER call the press on me again, without my permission.
But there they all were, and SOMEBODY floo-called or owled them, all right, and if it wasn't Grandmamma, then who was it?
Draco was totally unconcerned by the Quick-Quotes Quills and cameras and everything. He goes, So what? You ought to be used to it by now.
Oh, right. Let me tell you how used to it I am by now. So used to it that the sight of these reporters walking over to me, even with the arm of the cutest boy in the school around me, made me feel like I was going to barf up all of that salad and bread.
Come on, Draco said. You and I can make a run for it while Nick holds them off.
Nick totally did not like that idea. He went, I think not. You can hold them off, if you want to be gallant, and the goddess and I will make a run for it.
But the reporters were all rushing over to us and Draco was already grabbing onto my hand and tugging me. He said, Come on. You only live once, and started dragging me away.
And like the really stupid chump that I am, I let him.
That's right. I let him drag me back up the path, to the oak front doors, where a whole other bunch of reporters had already congregated. Because his hand felt so nice over mine, so big and protective, so warm and secure, I thought, Oh, what could happen? So a bunch of flashbulbs will go off. So what? We'll just make a run for it, like he said. Everything will be fine.
So I said to Nick, as Reporter Pack One started bearing down on us, waving fluorescent quills, That's OK, Nick, you try and hold them off a bit. Draco and I will go back inside.
Nick said, No, Goddess, wait –
Which were the last words I heard out of him – for a while, anyway – since by that time Draco and I were about ten metres away from him and he got swamped by all these reporters who were yelling out, It's her! It's her!
And then Draco was pulling me up the steps, and I was sort of laughing, since for the first time it was sort of fun. Flashbulbs were going off everywhere, blinding me, so that all I could see were the steps underneath us as we ran up them. I was totally concentrating on holding up the hem of my dress robes so I didn't trip up, and had put all my faith in those fingers wrapped around my other hand. I was completely dependant on Draco to lead the way, since I couldn't see a blessed thing.
So when he suddenly stopped, I thought it was because we were at the oak front doors. I thought we'd stopped because Draco was opening the doors for me. I know it's stupid, but that's what I thought. I could see the doors. We were standing right in front of them. Below us, on the stairs, the reporters were screaming questions and taking pictures. Some moron was yelling, Kiss her! Kiss her! which I don't need to tell you was way embarrassing.
And so I stood there, like a complete IDIOT, waiting for Draco to open the doors, instead of doing the smart thing, which was open the doors myself and get inside where it was safe, where there weren't any Quick-Quotes Quills or reporters or people yelling Kiss her, kiss her.
And then, I don't know how, the next thing I knew, Draco had put his arm around me again, dragged me to him, and smashed his mouth against mine.
I swear, that's exactly what it felt like. He just smashed his mouth against mine, and all these flashes started going off, but believe me, it wasn't like in those books Lavender reads, where the boy kisses the girl and she sees, like, fireworks and stuff behind her eyelids. I really WAS seeing lights go off, but they weren't fireworks, the were flashes from cameras. EVERYONE was taking a picture of Goddess Hermione getting her first kiss.
I am not even kidding. Like it wasn't bad enough that this was my first kiss.
It was my first kiss, and Teen Witch Weekly was photographing it.
Another thing about those books Lavender reads: in those books, when the girl gets her first kiss, she gets this warm gushy feeling inside. She feels like the guy is drawing out her soul from deep within her. I didn't get that feeling. I didn't get that feeling at all. All I got was embarrassed. It didn't feel especially good, having Draco Malfoy kiss me. All it felt, really, was strange. It felt strange, having this guy stand there and smash his mouth against mine. And you would think that after I'd spent so much time thinking this guy was the greatest thing on earth, I'd have felt SOMETHING when he kissed me.
But all I felt was embarrassed.
And like dinner, I just kept wishing it would end. All I could think was, When is he going to stop doing this? Am I even doing this right? In the movies they move their heads around a lot. Should I move my head around? What am I going to do if he tries to stick his tongue in there, I like used to see him doing with Pansy? I can't let Teen Witch Weekly take a picture of me with some guy's tongue in my mouth: my parents will kill me.
Then, just when I thought I couldn't stand it another minute, that I was going to DIE of embarrassment right there on the front steps of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Draco lifted up his head, waved to the reporters, opened the oak front doors and pushed me inside.
Where, I swear to Circe, every single person I knew was standing in the Entrance Hall, looking at us.
I am not kidding. There was Parvati with Dean, looking at me in a sort of shocked way. There was Lavender with Seamus, with her mouth hanging open. There was Ginny and Harry, and for once, Harry had actually managed to get his hair to look halfway decent. In fact, he almost looked handsome, in a geeky Wizarding hero kind of way. And Ginny, in these beautiful white dress robes with spangles all over, and white roses in her hair. And there was Neville with Susan Bones, and Fred and Angelina, George and Katie, Lee and Alica, and a bunch of other people I probably knew but didn't recognise out of their school robes, all looking at me with the same sort of expression Parvati was wearing, one of complete astonishment.
And there was Hagrid and Professor McGonagall, both standing by the doors to the Great Hall, looking more astonished than anybody.
Except maybe me. And Ron. But he wasn't there, so he couldn't have looked astonished. Wow, I wonder what he would have done if he was there. I bet he would have tried that slug-hurling hex on Draco again.
But I would have to say, out of everybody that was there, I was the person most in shock. I mean, Draco Malfoy HAD just kissed me. DRACO MALFOY had just KISSED me. Draco Malfoy had just kissed ME.
Did I mention that he'd kissed me ON THE LIPS?
Oh, and that he did it in front of the reporters from TEEN WITCH WEEKLY?
So I'm standing there, and everybody is looking at me, and outside, I could still hear the reporters yelling and inside the Great Hall, I could hear the Weird Sisters playing some new song of their's that I don't know the name of, and these thoughts are moving really sluggishly through my head, these thoughts that are saying:
He set you up.
He only asked you out so he could get his picture in the paper.
He's the one who notified the press that you'd be here tonight.
He probably only broke up with Pansy just so he cold tell his friends that he's dating a girl who's worth three hundred million Galleons. He never noticed you until you picture was on the front cover of the Prophet. Ginny was right: that day in Hogsmeade, he WAS only suffering from a synaptic breakdown when he smiled at you. He probly thinks his chances of getting a job at the Ministry or whatever are way enhanced by the fact that he's the Goddess of Mount Olympus's boyfriend.
And like a dumb schmuck, I fell for it.
Great. Just great.
Ginny says I'm not assertive enough and fear confrontation. Professor McGonagall says I have a tendency to internalise everything.
My Mum says the same thing. That's why she gave me this book for my birthday, in the hope that what I won't tell her, I'll at least get out into the open somehow.
If it hadn't turned out that I'm a goddess, maybe I might still be all that stuff. You know, unassertive, afraid of confrontation, an internalizer. I probably wouldn't have done what I did next.
Which was turn to Draco and ask, Why did you do that?
He was busy patting himself down, making sure he looked all right after all that running and physical over exertion. Do what?
Kiss me like that in front of everybody.
He sort of combed his fingers though his hair so it was all neat and stuff. I don't know, he said. Didn't you hear them? They were yelling at me to kiss you. So I did. Why?
Because I didn't appreciate it.
You didn't appreciate it? Draco looked confused. You mean you didn't like it?
I said. That's exactly what I mean. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. Because I know you didn't kiss me because you like me. You just kissed me because I'm a Goddess of Mount Olympus.
Draco looked at me like he thought I was crazy.
That's crazy, he said. I like you. I like you a lot.
I said, You can't like me a lot. You don't even know me. That's why I thought you asked me out. So you could get to know me better. But you haven't tried to get to know me at all. You just wanted to get your picture in Witch Weekly.
He laughed at that, but I noticed he didn't look me in the eye when he said, What do you mean, I don't even know you? Of course I know you.
No, you don't. Because if you did, you wouldn't have ordered me steak for dinner.
I heard a murmur go around through all of my friends. I guess they recognised the seriousness of Draco's mistake, even if he didn't. He heard them too, so when he replied, he was talking to them too. So I ordered the girl a steak, he said with his arms open in a So-hex-me sort of way. That's a crime? It was filet mignon, for Merlin's sake.
Ginny said, in her meanest voice, She's a vegetarian, you sociopath.
This information didn't seem to bother Draco very much. He just shrugged and went, Oops, so sorry.
Then he turned to me and said, Ready to slide?
But I had no intention of sliding with Draco. I had not intention of doing anything with Draco, ever again. I couldn't believe, after what I'd just said to him, he thought I'd still want to. The guy really was a sociopath. How could I have ever thought he'd seen into my soul? HOW???
Disgusted, I did the only thing a girl can be expected to do, under those circumstances:
I turned my back on him and walked out.
I headed off in the direction of the marble staircase so that I could hole myself up here in Gryffindor tower, so that no one would see me crying.
As I was walking away, it finally registered to Draco that I was ditching him. By that time, all his Slytherin friends had shown up in the Entrance Hall, and they came tumbling through the doors just as Draco said, sounding totally peeved, Merlin's beard! It was just a kiss!
I whirled around. It wasn't just a kiss, I said. I was getting really mad. Maybe that's how you wanted it to look, like it was just a kiss. But you and I both know what it was: a media event. And one that you've been planning since you saw me in the Prophet. Well, thank you, Draco, but I can get my own publicity. I don't need you.
Then, after holding my hand out to Nick, who'd come back inside, for my journal, since I'd given it to him after I got back from the Girls' Bathroom, I took it and stalked up the stairs to Gryffindor tower. Which is where I am now, writing this.
Queen Mab! Can you BELIEVE that? I mean, I ask you: my first kiss – my first kiss ever – and next week it's going to be in every teen Wizarding magazine in the world. I wonder what the headline under the picture will be? Young Deity In Love?
Excuse me, but ew.
And the kicker of it all is that I am totally NOT in love with Draco Malfoy. I mean, it would have been nice – Who am I kidding? It would have been GREAT – to have a boyfriend. Sometimes I think there really is something wrong with me, that I don't have one.
But the thing is, I would rather not have a boyfriend at all than have one who is using me for my money or the fact that my mother is a ruling goddess or for any reason, really, except that he likes me for me, and nothing else.
Of course, now that everyone knows that I'm a goddess, it's going to be kind of hard to tell which guys like me for me, and which guys like me for my powers (which I don't even know about yet. Mum said we'd start working on them after I've done my N.E.W.T.s). But at least I realized the truth about Draco before things went on too long.
How could I have ever liked him? He's such a user. He totally used me! He purposefully hurt Pansy, and then he tried to use me. And I played right into his hands like the stupid sap that I am.
What am I going to do? When my parents see that photograph, they are going to FLIP OUT. There is not way I will ever be able to explain that it wasn't my fault. Maybe if I'd punched Draco in his stupid perfect face again in front of all those cameras. Maybe then my parents would believe I was an innocent bystander
But probably not.
I will never be allowed out with a boy again, ever, for the rest of my natural life.
Uh oh. I hear voices outside my door. Someone is knocking and wanting to talk to me.
It's Lavender and Parvati. They want to know if I'm all right. Somebody else is with them.
Oh, dear Merlin, I recognise that voice! It's Ginny! Ginny, Lavender and Parvati all want to know if I'm all right!
Ginny is actually speaking to me again. Not criticizing me, or complaining about my behaviour. She is actually speaking to me in a friendly manner. She's saying through my door that she's sorry for laughing at my hair and that she knows she's controlling, and she says she's going to make a concerted effort to stop telling everyone, especially me, what to do.
Wow! Ginny is admitting she did something wrong! I can't believe it! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
She and Lavender and Parvati want me to come out and hang out with them at the Ball. But I told them I don't want to, It would be too awkward, all of them with dates, and me by myself like a big dope.
And then Ginny goes, Oh, that's OK. Ron came down after dinner. He's been hanging around by himself like a big dope for the past hour.
Ron Weasley went to a school social event??? I can't believe it!! He never does anything, except play Quidditch and chess and make sarcastic comments and stuff!! I wondered why I didn't see him in the common room when I came up!!!
I have got to see this for myself. I am going down there right now.
More later.

Sunday 28 October 2001

I just woke up from the strangest dream:
In my dream, Ginny and I weren't fighting anymore; she and Lavender and Parvati had become friends; Harry turned out to be not such a twit and finally admitted that he likes Ginny; Madam Hooch said she was raising my Flying grade from an F to a C; I slow-danced with Ron; and Cornelius Fudge's wife left him (because he's such an idiot, I suppose), so there wasn't a single picture of me and Draco kissing in any of the newspapers, since all the papers were filled with photos of divorce carnage.
But it wasn't a dream! It wasn't a dream at all, none of it! It had all really happened!
Because I woke up this morning and was pretty sure I wasn't on a bed, and when I opened my eyes I saw that I was sitting on the couch in front of the fire in the common room, leaning on Ron who was sleeping next to me with his arm around my shoulders! I mean it. I spent the night in the common room and Professor McGonagall will probably give me a detention if she ever found out!
And I don't care! Professor McGonagall can give me all the detentions she wants to! I have my best friend back! I'm not going to flunk out of 5th Year! My parents aren't going to kill me for kissing Draco Malfoy!
Oh, and – no, I won't tell you now, it's SO GOOD you have to wait for it!!!
I can hardly write for happiness.
Little did I know when I came out of Gryffindor tower for the second time last night, with Ginny, Lavender and Parvati, that all this happiness lay in store for me. I was morbidly depressed – absolutely morbidly distraught – over what happened with Draco.
But when the four of us got down to the Entrance Hall, Draco was gone. Ginny told me later that after I publicly humiliated him, Draco went back into the Great Hall for the Ball, not looking as if he cared too much. Ginny isn't sure what happened after that, because Prof McG asked her, Lavender and Parvati to go and check on me (wasn't that sweet of her?), but I have a feeling Nick may have used one of his special nerve-paralysing hexes on Draco, because the next time I saw him, Draco was slumped over at a table, with his forehead resting on one of Hagrid's giant pumpkins. He didn't move all night, either, until Professor Snape had to use Mobilicorpus to get him down to the dungeons at the end of the night, but maybe that was because of all the vodka he'd had to drink.
Anyway, me, Ginny, Lavender and Parvati joined Harry, Seamus and Dean at the table they had been sitting at for dinner. There were more giant pumpkins and these bowls that had mist fountaining out of them on the table, and we moved some of the pumpkins and sat there right on the tabletop, so we could see everything.
And then Ron suddenly appeared from nowhere, looking really REALLY good in these navy-blue dress robes that Fred and George had apparently bought him over the summer with profits from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Ron must have been pretty pleased to not have to wear those maroon dress robes anymore, I know he hated them, and navy-blue is a much, much better colour on him than maroon is.
I thought that Ron was going to start with the I Told You Sos, but guess what? He didn't! He sat down next to me and asked if I was all right, and then we had fun for a while cracking jokes about how the Slytherins were sure getting into the Halloween spirit, since just about all of them were wearing black dress robes and looking rather morose. Then somebody started talking about Quidditch, and how Oliver Wood had made the Puddlemore United firsts team, as in not the reserves, and Ron insisted that the Cannons are a much better team than Puddlemore any day. And Seamus was totally about to get into an argument with him, which wouldn't have been very smart on Seamus's part, since Ron's the King of Arguing, even if he was probably wrong in this case, when the music changed, and a slow song came on, and everybody left the table to go and dance.
Well, everybody except for Ron and me, of course. We just sat there amdist the giant pumpkins and the mist.
Which wasn't too bad, actually, since Ron and I never run out of things to talk about – unlike me and Draco. We kept on talking about Quidditch, and I didn't even mind, when Professor McGonagall and Madam Hooch both came over and asked if I was OK.
I said of course, and that was when Madam Hooch told me she was glad to hear it, and, by the way, based on my flying all of this last week, I had brought my F in Flying up to a C, for which she congratulated me and urged me to keep up the hard work while Prof McG beamed beside her.
But I credited my improved flying performance to Ron, who taught me to relax my grip on the broomstick handle, to not be so jerky when I'm turning, and to pull up just slightly when I'm breaking so as to not crash into the ground. Ron got all embarrassed and claimed not to have anything to do with it, but Madam Hooch didn't hear him since she and Prof McG had to hurry off and put out a fire that Neville had started on the other side of the Great Hall after eating a handful of Fred and George's Super Pepper Imps.
Then a fast song came on and everybody came back, and we sat around and talked about Ginny's newspaper, which we are all going to be involved in the production of. Ginny asked if I minded being the topic for the first issue, in an article entitled The New Divinity: Deities Who Make A Difference. I gave her exclusive rights to my first public interview, if she'd promise to ask me about my feelings on the plight of house elves.
Then another slow song came on, and everybody went to go dance to it. Ron and I were left sitting amidst the pumpkins and the mist again and I was about to ask him who he'd choose to spend eternity with if Armageddon whipped out the rest of the population, Meghan McCormack or Madam Rosmerta, when he asked me if I wanted to dance!
I was so surprised, I said sure, without even think about it. And the next think I knew, I was slow-dancing my first ever slow dance with my best friend, a guy that I have known, and, I will admit this now, have been in love with, since I was eleven years old.
Wow. I finally admitted it. Mum's right, it IS better to get these things out in the open.
Anyway, did you know that slow-dancing is just so strange? It isn't even dancing, really. It's more like standing there with your arms around the other person, moving from one foot to the other in time to the music. And that really was my first ever slow-dance. I didn't slow dance like that with Viktor last year. I didn't have my arms around Viktor the way I had mine around Ron, and Viktor didn't have his arms around me the way Ron did. With Viktor it was like that stodgy old fashioned dancing, like waltzing, you know what I mean?
And anyway, with slow-dancing, I guess you aren't supposed to talk – at least, nobody else around us was talking. I guess I could sort of see why, since you are so busy feeling stuff, it's hard to think of anything to say. I mean, Ron smelled so good – like this fresh clean soapy smell Woo hoo! Towel image!! Heh heh heh!!! – and felt so good – the dress robes Grandmamma picked out for me were pretty and everything, but I was kind of cold in it so it was nice to stand close to Ron, who was so warm – that it was next to impossible to say anything.
I guess Ron felt the same way, because even though when we were sitting on the table with all the pumpkins and mist, neither of us ever shut up, we had so much to talk about, when we were dancing together, neither of us said a word.
But the minute the song was over, Ron started talking again, asking me if I wanted some iced pumpkin juice or a chocolate frog or some trifle from this big long table along one side of the Great Hall that had been piled up with sweets and desserts. One thing you have to say about Ron is that he likes his sweets. You know, Mum would probably have a fit if she knew how much sugary food he eats. Then again, she's not a dentist anymore
Any so anyway, that was how the rest of the night went: we sat around and talked during the fast songs, and danced during the slow ones.
I don't know, to tell the truth, which I liked better, talking to Ron, or dancing with him. They were both so interesting. Who am I kidding??? They were both WONDERFUL!!!
When the Ball ended, we all went up the marble staircase to Gryffindor Tower (Hagrid told me the reporters had all left by then, since the story about Fudge had broken: I suppose they went to go stake out his house). I must say, going up that big staircase was much nicer the second time, as Ron was holding my hand
The Fat Lady was pretty happy to see all eight of us – ten, if you count Nick and Neville, who had already said goodnight to Susan in the Entrance Hall – show up at the her portrait together. She was rather surprised to see Ron, though; she'd been visiting Violet when he'd come down to the Ball and she hadn't realised he'd left Gryffindor tower. Then she swung open and we all climbed into the common room, where we played End Of The World until Professor McGonagall finally came in at like 1am – in her tartan dressing gown – and told us all to go to our dorms.
Everybody said goodnight and headed up to their dorms, except Ginny, Harry, Ron, and me. As Nick made his way out to head back to the Ritz, I made him promise not to tell my parents, especially my Dad, about the kiss. He said he wouldn't, but you can never tell with guys: they have this weird code of their own, you know? I was reminded of this when I saw Nick and Ron giving each other high fives right before he left.
The strangest – and most wonderful – thing out of everything that happened last night was when Harry and Ginny went up to their respective dorms, leaving Ron and me alone down in the common room, and he asked me if I wanted to play a game of chess.
I was really tired. It had been a really long day. I had broken up with a boy I had only been out on half a date with. That can be very emotionally wearing.
But there was something about the way Ron's ears went bright pink that made me say yes.
So we sat down and played.
And guess what?
I WON!!!
I am not even kidding! I beat Ron Weasley at chess! This was turning into a pretty big night of first-times.
As I jumped up to do a quiet little victory dance and then moved over to the couch in front of the fireplace and flopped down with a HUGE grin on my face, Ron sat down next to me and laughed.
said Ron, grinning just as much as me. That was the first and last time you'll ever beat me at chess!
Oh yeah? I said. We'll see about that.
Well, you only won because I was distracted, said Ron.
By what? I challenged, still smiling.
Ron stared right into my eyes and I felt my heart start beating faster. You know what? I think he was looking into my soul. Really. My heart never beat faster like that all those times I thought Draco was looking into my soul. I think that Ron was actually looking into my soul.
Then he said, I was distracted by you.
I didn't know what to say. I was in shock. But honestly, it was a nice shock. I had never thought Ron that would ever say something like that to me. It was totally something that Mr Darcy would say to Lizzie Bennett in Pride and Prejudice. Or that Colin Firth would say to Renée Zellweger in Bridget Jones's Diary (although I suppose those two are practically the same story).
But RON was sitting there next to me on the couch, looking into my soul and saying it to ME!
I finally found my voice. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, Ron, I said.
Ron smiled his cute lopsided smile (have I ever told you about his cute lopsided smile? Well, let me tell you, it is one cute smile). he said with a little laugh, I thought you were going to pull your wand out on me and make me sprout leeks out my ears.
I laughed too. Ron is so funny.
Then he did something even more unexpected than telling me that I distracted him to the point that he lost a game of chess. He reached over and took my hands in his. He has such nice warm hands. He took his hands in mine and then was looking down at them as his face went really embarrassed-red and he said, Look, about this afternoon, when I was being horrible to you He stopped and swallowed. I was really upset about you going to Halloween Ball with Malfoy because this was the second time I didn't get to take you to a ball.
He said all that really, really fast.
My breath caught in my chest. He HAD wanted to take me to the Ball! He had wanted to take me and he'd tried to ask me loads of times but something always happened and he never got around to it! That's why he hated Draco even more than he had hated him earlier, if that was possible! And he'd wanted to take me last year too! That's why he hated Viktor so much! THAT'S why he'd got mad at me yesterday afternoon: HE HAD BEEN JEALOUS!!!
He told me all this as he was talking really, really fast, which was OK because I couldn't actually say anything.
I wanted to cry. But in a good way! I was so happy I wanted to cry!!!
Then Ron stopped talking and looked at me as I sat there and tried not to cry. I figured if I started to cry he'd think he'd messed up by telling me all this and that I hated him and he'd get really upset and probably never talk to me again. I couldn't let that happen, because he didn't mess up by telling me this and I don't hate him! I don't hate him one little tiny bit.
Aren't you going to say something? he said, looking all worried.
I can't say anything because I'm so happy I want to cry, I blurted out, really fast. Even faster than how Ron had been talking. So fast, in fact, that it sounded more like, Ican'tsayanything'causeI'msohapIwannucry.'
And then I started crying.
But Ron must have heard what I said and not been freaked out about me crying because he leaned over, put his arms about me and pulled me into this really warm hug, and held me really tight.
I sat there, frozen with happiness, wrapped in warm Ronness, bawling into his shoulder.
After a little while, as Ron was sort of stroking my hair – it felt really nice, he wasn't patting my head all awkwardly like that time I hugged him in 3rd Year when I was so upset about finding out that Hagrid had lost Buckbeak's case with the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures, and he said he would help me, he was like running his fingers thought my hair and it felt really, really nice – he said, You know what, Hermione?
I sort of mumbled into his shoulder.
I always knew you were a goddess. Even when you didn't have this veela hair and when your teeth were sort of big and you used to boss me around all the time. You've always been a goddess to me.
I pulled away out of his arms and looked up at him as he smiled down at me. Then I broke into a fresh wave of sobs.
I don't think I have ever cried so much as I did last night. But the second time I was crying, I actually enjoyed it. How weird is that? I enjoyed crying. Because when I broke down again, Ron just wrapped me up in his arms again and I have never felt better in my life than when Ron hugs me. I mean it. He is SUCH a good hugger.
And hugging's not all Ron can do really well.
After I'd stopped crying again, I pulled out of his hug again – even though I actually didn't want to – and looked at him. He looked right back at me. And we just sat there was who knows how long, just looking into each other's souls. I mean it.
Then I suddenly felt really assertive again. Like I could do anything in the world.
That was when I did it.
No fuss. No asking his permission. No hesitation whatsoever. I just leaned up and kissed him. Right on the lips.
And that was when I found out what all those books Lavender reads are talking about. When you kiss the guy that you are in love with, and have been in love with for ages and ages, it's a kind of magic that doesn't need wands or potions or spells.
It's just magic, plain and simple.
I told you it was good, didn't I? It was so good, that it was worth the wait, wasn't it?
We obviously must have just fallen asleep in each other's arms right there on the couch, because when I woke up a little while ago, I was still in Ron's. He was still fast asleep when I lifted his arm up so that I could Summon this book from my room so I could write in it about the most wonderful night I have had so far in my entire life.
But before I Summoned this diary down, I lay there in Ron's arms and I thought, Really, I am a very lucky girl. Things had looked pretty bad there for a while. But isn't it funny how everything kind of works itself out in the end?
Oh, Ron just sort of snorted in his sleep, I think he's waking up. I should go.
I don't know why, but I AM SO HAPPY!
I guess it doesn't take much, does it?

And Ron & Hermione Lived Happily Ever After
The End!!!


A/N2: To quote Lady Norbert, That was so darned fluffy at the end, it should have three heads. Heh heh heh! ::happy sigh:: We all knew those two would eventually end up together, didn't we? Didn't I tell you?! :o) The bit about Hermione kissing Ron was adapted from TPD3 (which you can get from www.dymocks.com.au). In that, it's Michael who makes the move (oh, so I gave away the ending, but as if you didn't know already that they'd end up together!!!) but I figured Ron couldn't do all the work in their relationship, and it was time Hermione was more assertive! Well, that's all, folks, please review, thank you and good night!

Oh, no, let me ramble some more and milk this for all it's worth ;o) Special mentions to: Lady Norbert (Fellow Queen of HP Crossovers, general all-round R/Hr legend), Incitata (Queen of the Anti-Fluff), Slytherin Godess, Beauty Full, Xaviera Xylira, Jules (wondermous!), whats_their_name, James Bow, Destiny Pheonix, Hermione, Fleur, nuwandaforever, LisaQT3, Sango-sama, L.uMiNafyre, likeicare, Lady and Vortex (can I have another poem for this chapter? LOL!!!), Kate (Goddess of Rambling, who never actually reviewed, you cheater! LOL) and last but certainly not least, LoPotter (I honestly couldn't share a brain with a nicer, funnier, more talented and more perfect Scary Twin! Nutter! ::hug::), who have either been with me all the way and/or are just fabulous people! YOU ARE ALL SIMPLY SPIFFING! ::mwah!::

Now that I've finished this (::sniff::) I can move on to other marvellous new projects, including a Harry Potter/Pride and Prejudice crossover which I'm working on with ST-Lo and is going to be absolutely corking! And my funky original' fic, Complicated, is getting a major editing overhaul at the moment, and now I have time to finish it! Stay tuned! See you all around!
Cheers, Love, Peace, The Truth Is Out There & R/Hr Forever, Squin :o)