Note: I wrote this in about 45 minutes this morning (12/24) while watching Wild at Heart. And this probably looks better and makes more sense in a normal format. Sorry guys.
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Caught, On the Inside
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It's the bedside talk that . . .
And if only I could make this . . .
What's wrong with this picture? Sounds like jealousy to me.
Yeah, me and my old friend Jealousy. Nothing like me and my old friend Jealousy. 'Specially when he's twisted 'round someone else's finger, hanging on their neck.
Her neck.
It's never been about you and me my old friend, Jealousy. Maybe it should have been. I'm ringed with this belief and disbelief and trust and lies and maybe if I hadn't . . .
Things don't smell right. Again, I'm thinkin' its lies. Yeah, me the Liar. Me the Liar.
Oz the Liar.
Guess there's no one to save me. Think I'll just sit here, naked to the wall
Whoa man, naked?
and think There's no saving of Me . . .the Liar.
I am human. I am a fixer of cages, attracter of danger, lost in my skins, liar to my lover, to my friends. I am caught in cages, inside and out. I am naked, inside and out.
Lied to yourself, man.
Why'd I let her in?
Lied to myself, man.
I let her in. Inside and out. And now I'm mostly wanted not for not being human. I'm mostly wanted for lying. For sleeping with my old friend Jealousy. For hiding inside my skins. For being naked in my cage with you and me and my old friend Jealousy. For not being human. Lies I told myself. I lie therefore I am naked inside myself.
And it's the bedside talk that . . .
It's the bedside talk that incriminates. Pushes me naked against the wall
Hmm, see-through. That's new.
the outside and the inside. They're outside and inside. I'm outside and inside. Say hello to the jailer for me. No demarcation or place where I'm not
In love with her. Damned to love with her.
twisted and hurting in here. We're bleeded and broken, man. No place I'm not Just So Lost.
Inside our own skins?
No, just lost. Just inside.
Wish I was . . .
Wish I could . . .
Cry, why can't we cry?
Why can't I . . .
Why can't I cry?
Don't you know?
Don't you know?
I lie therefore I am -- human. Inside. Inside.
Fin
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Author's Note
(You know, I'm used to Author's Notes being at the end anyhow.)
So, like I mentioned, this was inspired by WAH. It also came out of, um, that episode where Oz comes back and the Initiative captures him. No I can't remember the name, I never can. Just in case you're wondering who the frell Oz is talking to: well at first he was talking to Xander (of all people) then as I kept writing I realized it was himself. I can't think of anything else you might want to know but if anything occurs to you feel free to email me at tvashti@hotmail.com.
Vashti
