Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo.

Please note that this fic is rated NC-17 for hardcore photosynthesis.

(you see Lupustheflyingdog reading his letters)

Bills, bills, bills (throws them into an incinerator) AH! Fan mail ... (opens it and looks inside)
(reading) ALLAH IS GREAT
TAKE PENACILLIN NOW
FROM ISLAMIC EXTREMIST OPERATING
FROM A SMALL SCHOOL
(normal) Wait a minute ... (reads again) anthrax (throws into the incinerator)
Instant Millionaire give away (throws into the incinerator) SHIT! Ah well. There are plenty
more (sure enough the next 500 letters are all bills or instant millionaire give-aways)

Ah! This looks different- it's ticking to... (BOOM!) what the ... Ah well.

---

Lupustheflyingdog: And finally you must use these rowboats and indirectly control these fine sea
buccaneers (see wizened old men who are looking away from the sea saying - "Great View of the ocean
waves!" one is asleep)

GO!

(see Brock staring at Vela)
Vela: Stop that or I'll shoot.
Brock: You can shoot me anyday.
Vela: (surprised) Okay then. (gets out a machine gun)
Brock: Fire, baby, fi... (mercifully gets smashed against a rock)
(see Gary's ship, it's filled with fan-mail for Lupustheflyingdog: ie: explosives, his
buccanner navigator is a chain smoker)
Gary: Stop smoking!
Bucanner: I'll smoke when I want you little... (a bit of his cigarette falls into the fanmail
and his life abruptly ends)

(at the judges table)
(a message comes up saying "FOR THE MORE MATURE! A mix and match story")
(you see a plant photosynthesising on the table)
(Floyd is staring wide-eyed at it)
Gregg: It's been half an hour since Conker and Berri went under the table to pick up
a single peice of paper and something furry is brushing against my leg...
(he sticks his head under the table)
MIX AND MATCH: a) Gregg: Sheesh! What idiots, they're still looking for that peice of paper
and one of them is sitting on it!
b) Gregg: There's an alternate parallel universe down there and it appears that they came up 20
minutes ago.
c) Gregg: I'm not to keen on beastiality guys!

(a sign shows up saying "FOR THE LESS MATURE")

(at the judges table)
(a message comes up saying "FOR THE MORE MATURE! A mix and match story")
(you see a plant photosynthesising on the table)
(Floyd is staring wide-eyed at it)
Gregg: It's been half an hour since Conker and Berri went under the table to pick up
a single peice of paper and something furry is brushing against my leg...
(he sticks his head under the table)
They're in an alternate parallel universe looking for the sheet of paper and ... EUGH! STOP DOING THAT!
EUGH! SICK! SICK!

(for the really immature, back at death cove)

Vela: Phew! Finally over it ... Juno is that my mini-skirt?
Tracy: Fascinating! I've got to draw that 50 foot killer shark eating my navigator, oh he's finished
and (GULP) (muffled) oh, fascinating shark stomach lining!
Gimlet: That wasn't easy with no pants, stupid drone threw it up that tree again!
Pikachu: *Phew thank goodness it's over with (realises he started at the finish and is at the start)
SHIT!*

(torture time!)
LupusTFD: Gary. Wear this ring.
Gary: Okay. (it suddenly binds onto his finger)
LTFD: Only I can take it off ... anytime you say anything egomaniacal it will set you on fire.
Gary: HA! I can survive mere fire... (catches fire) it works.
LTFD: Now Brock, you will have a Playboy pasted in front of your eyes.
Brock: (rubbing hands with anticipation)
LTFD: I know there's something else ... (after about a minute) AH! YES! You have to wear these
cast iron underpants all day long. (holds out a pair of cast iron boxer shorts that would barely
fit Brock)

NOW AT THE LOSER HOTEL
Juno: Quite comfy this, cold though.
Misty: Now you know how I feel wearing these ridiculous hot pants! ANyhwo, Ash what did he mean
by that comment at first.
Gary: I can figure it out... (catches fire) What, I can!
Ash: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Marvin: (doesn't speak, instead he eats cheese)
Jesse: Uh Brock, why is there a Playboy infront of your eyes.
Brock: WHERE!? (looks at it) (CLONG!) I'm off to go and have some painkillers now...