Disclaimer: I don't own X-men Evolution. Yes I know it's a bit early for a New Year's story, but I will be away for a while. So how does the gang celebrate their first New Year's Eve? A lot of trouble and insanity ensue!
New Year's With the Brotherhood
"This sucks," Lance grumbled. "I hate New Year's Eve!"
"What do you mean?" Pietro asked, he was making paper decorations. "It's a whole New Year! A time to look forward to new things, new adventures, new girls to meet, new pranks to play on the X-Geeks…"
"New trouble to plague us," Lance grumbled as he flipped through the channels. "But that's beside the point. What I mean is spending another lame New Year's Eve at home. While everyone else is having fun at parties and fancy places, we're stuck at home! Doing nothing but watching TV!"
"Yeah but we get to stay up late!" Todd said munching on some popcorn. "And we get to watch TV and eat ordervy stuff!"
"They're called hors derves Toad," Lance rolled his eyes. "And we do that every night!"
"Yeah but tonight we have noisemakers!" Todd turned the hand crank noisemaker in one hand and blew on his other noisemaker.
"Oh brother," Lance grumbled. He turned his eyes back to the television. "Oh yes, another year of watching the nuts in New York City!"
"Hey, let's see how many people are out there in the zero below weather with their shirts off!" Fred said. "Look one, two…"
"Three…" Todd hopped on the couch next to Lance. "Four…five…"
"Where's the fifth guy?" Pietro asked.
"Over there," Todd pointed. "Hanging out the window."
"Oh yeah," Fred remarked.
Then the cable went out. "Aw man!" Lance hit the side of the TV. "Cable's out again! Stupid piece of junk!"
"Ah forget about it Lance!" Tabitha smiled. "TV's lame anyway! Hey wanna see me make some fireworks to ring in the New Year?"
"Forget it," Lance flopped back down on the couch.
"Looks like somebody is missing the Spirit of New Year's!" Pietro mocked.
"Looks like somebody is gonna get the Spirit of a Knuckle Sandwich if he doesn't get out of my face!" Lance snarled.
"Touchy, touchy," Pietro wagged his finger. "Oh well your loss!" He zipped into the kitchen.
"He's up to something," Todd whispered to Fred. "He gave up way too easy!"
"Come on Lance," Tabitha propped her hands on her knees. "Let's crash someone else's party!"
"There are no other parties!" Lance huffed. "Matthews was gonna have one but he got grounded!" He glared at Todd.
"Gee what a shame," Todd laughed.
"So we'll have our own party!" Tabitha said. "Let's play a game!"
"Twister!" Todd jumped up and down.
"No! How about Pictionary!" Fred laughed.
"Why don't you guys just play hide and seek and get lost?" Lance snarled.
"I got it!" Tabitha jumped up and down. "Balloon Soccer!"
"Yes!" Todd jumped up and down.
"Oh brother," Lance closed his eyes. "Some game, you just run around kicking balloons all over the place!"
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Todd pouted.
"Balloons!" Tabitha dropped a whole armful of balloons she and Pietro blew up that afternoon.
"I get the green ones!" Todd whooped charging in.
"Blue for me!" Fred yelled kicking one so hard it exploded with the ceiling on contact. "Oops."
"Freddy's down a point!" Tabitha laughed, kicking around a yellow balloon.
"Aw man," Fred muttered as he carefully kicked around a second blue balloon.
"Come on Lance, join the fun!" Tabitha yelled gleefully.
"No I think I'll leave the acting like a total doofus up to you experts," Lance said.
"Oh La-ance!" Pietro zipped in with a drink. "How about my special holiday punch! Come on!"
"Well yelling at those morons did make me thirsty," Lance took a sip. "Hey, this is pretty good!"
"I'll have some yo!" Todd reached over to taste but Pietro slapped his hand.
"No ya don't!" Pietro told him quickly. "This batch is for Lance. I'll make you a special one! Come on!" He grabbed Todd and zipped into the kitchen.
"Hey I just wanted a sip!" Todd told him. "I wasn't gonna get slime in it or nothing!"
"Oh no," Pietro giggled. "That was a special drink for Lance."
"Uh oh," Todd looked at Lance. "What did you do?"
"I just think he needed a little holiday spirit put back in him that's all," Pietro shrugged.
Todd's eyes widened when he saw several various bottles of alcohol on the table. "A little spirit?" He gulped. "More like half a package store!" He looked out the living room and saw Lance finishing the glass. He put it down and promptly fell face first onto the floor. "I think you over did it a bit Quickie."
"Hey it's not my fault the guy can't handle alcohol," Pietro shrugged.
"Where did you get all this stuff?" Todd asked.
"Found Mystique's private stash," Pietro held a bottle. "Want some?"
"Oh no you don't!" Todd shook his head. "I ain't drinking that and neither are you! I remember what happened when we went to that party and you got drunk! I still have the scars!"
"You're right," Pietro shrugged. "Then again there's no more of it anyway. Boy Mystique sure put a lot of it away! Half the bottles were practically empty! I should resist temptation."
A loud giggling was heard in the next room. They looked and saw that Lance had awoken and was now running around kicking everyone's balloons. "Wheeeee!" Lance laughed.
"Oh this is gonna be good!" Lance laughed. "Toad you gotta get the camera!"
"I should get a net," Todd rolled his eyes. "Just promise me you won't drink any of that stuff."
"Scout's honor!" Pietro held up his hand.
"Nice try, you were never a scout!" Todd looked at him.
"Yes I was, for a week," Pietro told him. "Then I got kicked out for setting our Den mother's backyard on fire. Don't worry. I know how to resist temptation!"
"Good," Todd hopped back into the living room.
Pietro then took out a small bottle and looked at it mischievously. "I know how to do it, but I ain't gonna!"
Back in the living room, Todd found Lance running around with balloons in his arms. "Mine! All mine! All Hail the Lord of the Balloons!"
"More like Lord of the Loons!" Tabitha snapped. "What got into you Lance?"
"A Quicksilver Special," Todd told her.
"Speedy got him drunk?" Tabitha glared. "That is so mean! If he did it to one of the Geek Squad that would be different! But not to one of us!"
"I think he wanted to loosen Lance up and get him out of his funk," Todd told him.
"Look!" Lance held up a balloon with a face drawn in marker. "I made a friend! I'll call him Bruce!"
"It worked," Fred said.
"I swear Pietro never thinks about how his actions affect others," Tabitha placed her hands on her hips. "He only thinks about his own amusement and doesn't care about consequences!"
"Said the pot to the kettle…" Todd rolled his eyes.
"Well you learn something knew every day," Fred looked as Lance was having a conversation with his balloon friend. "I learned that Lance has absolutely no tolerance for alcohol whatsoever."
"I learned never take a drink," Todd blanched as Lance started to sing to his little friend. "Ever."
"Good for you Toddy," Tabitha patted his head.
"Hello Bruce!" Lance spoke to the balloon. "What a fine night it is Bruce! Hey guys! Bruce can do impressions! Look:" He spoke in a fake English accent. "To me my X-Men and let's squash the fun out of everybody! My brain can't take happy waves! Guess who?"
Tabitha sighed. "It's gonna be a loooong night!"
"Hey where's Pietro?" Fred asked. "This is all his fault."
"I left him in the kitchen," Todd said.
"Are you nuts?" Tabitha asked. "What if he drinks some booze himself? He has a lower tolerance for alcohol than Lance does!"
"YEEEE HAAAAA!" Pietro zipped in. He was carrying twigs from the Christmas tree. "I'm a Christmas tree! I'm a Christmas tree!"
"We'll we're really ringing in the New Year at the Brotherhood House here," Fred rolled his eyes.
"Look Bruce a Christmas tree!" Lance said. "Hello Mr. Christmas tree!"
"LANCE!" Tabitha grabbed one of the branches from Pietro and popped Lance's balloon. "Calm down will ya?"
"You killed him," Lance stared in disbelief at the remains of the balloon. "Bruce? Bruce? You killed my friend! WAAHHHH!" Lance yelped.
"Not only that she maimed me!" Pietro yelped. "My branches are gone!"
"That's one way of putting it," Todd said.
"Why did you kill my friend?" Lance looked at her with puppy dog eyes. "Why? Why? He never hurt anybody. Why?" He got on his knees. "Oh Bruce, Bruce, Bruce…Oh the humanity! Why why why?"
"I'll handle this Tabby," Todd waved. "He was an X-Geek spy, Lance."
"Bruce why…? He was?" Lance looked at him incredulously.
"Yes," Todd told him.
"Oh," Lance looked at the balloon remains. "That's okay then," He threw the balloon over his shoulder. It hit Pietro in the face.
"Oh no he's attacking me!" Pietro waved frantically.
"Down Bruce!" Lance cried out. "Bad balloon! Bad balloon!"
"I got him," Todd picked off the object from Pietro. Then he threw it on the floor and stomped on it. "There he's dead now."
"Toad," Pietro gave Todd a hug. "Toad you saved my life!"
"Yay for Toad!" Lance gave him a hug as well, squishing Todd in the middle.
"Oh man somebody help me I can't breathe!" Todd yelped.
"Okay break it up," Fred pulled them apart. "What do we do Tabby?"
"Let's dance!" Pietro spoke up. He grabbed Tabitha and began to dance.
"Hey!" Lance pouted. "Who do I get to dance with?"
"Oh no!" Todd held up his hands. "Don't even think about it! Oh no! No!"
"Da da da!" Lance sang as he danced wildly with Todd.
"Aw man," Todd complained. "At least let me lead yo! No dipping! No dipping!"
"Yeah get down!" Tabitha laughed as Pietro twirled her around rapidly.
"Once again I remain the lone voice of reason in the group," Fred sighed.
"Yahoo!" Lance shouted as he twirled Todd into Fred. "I love New Year's!"
"Well at least his mood's improved," Fred sighed. "You okay Toad?"
"Oh yeah," Todd's eyes spun. "Just need to lie down for a week or so."
"Hey Speedy as fun as it has been maybe you should lie down a bit," Tabitha caught her breath back.
"Huh why?" Pietro looked confused. "Oh I get it! You want to have your way with me!" He swooned. "It's the story of my life! All everyone sees is my great body! They never appreciate my mind! I'm not just a piece of meat you know!"
"Oh lord…" Todd put his head in his hands. "All we see is your ego on hyperdrive!"
"Driving?" Lance blinked. "You wanna go driving?"
"No!" Tabitha escorted Lance to the couch and forced him to sit down. "No one is going to drive anywhere!" She grabbed Pietro and made him sit down as well. "You too! Both of you sit there. We're gonna play a little game. It's a game my mom taught me. How many cups of coffee can you drink?"
"Oooh!" Pietro squealed. "Games! I love games!"
"Yayyy!" Lance shouted.
"Okay now why don't you two boys just sit there and we'll set everything up," Tabitha said sweetly. "Fred, Toad…could I see you two in the kitchen please?"
"Oooh!" Pietro mocked as they went into the kitchen. "Somebody's in trouble! He! He!" He nudged Lance in the ribs when they went in. "Hey! Hey! Guess what?"
"What?" Lance asked.
"I think Tabby likes me," Pietro winked.
"Oh yeah she wants you," Lance mocked. "Not!"
"I'm serious!" Pietro preened. "I think she's just confused you know. Cause you know what? She likes you too."
"Get outta town," Lance playfully shoved Pietro, who fell off the couch.
"Serious dude," Pietro giggled. "She wants the both of us."
"Well she can't have me!" Lance huffed. "I'm saving myself for Kitty."
"Oh come on," Pietro puffed. "You serious? You mean you never…"
"None of your business!" Lance snapped. "But I never…cared for someone as much as Kitty. Kitty. I want Kitty."
"Awww," Pietro sat back on the sofa and put his arm around Lance. "Poor poor poor poor buddy. I tell you what. We could share Tabby. I could take her on even days and you can take her on odd days. Or you could take odd and I could take even…"
"It doesn't work like that!" Lance snapped.
"It doesn't?" Pietro looked at him confused.
"No!" Lance told him. "I wanna be a one man woman…strike that…A woman one man…I only want Kitty!"
"Well then get her!" Pietro slapped him on the back. "Go on! More Tabby for me!"
"Oh it's not that simple," Lance moaned. "If only…if only…"
"What? What?"
"Hang on a second I'm coming to a sentence somewhere. Just give me a minute will ya? I got it. The X-Geeks."
"Oh," Pietro's face fell. "Them."
"Yeah them!" Lance pouted. "She would be with me right now if it weren't for them. Pietro I didn't wanna tell you this…but…they were mean to me!"
"Ohhh!" Pietro hugged Lance and patted him on the back. "That's awful! They were?"
"Yeah they blamed me for stuff I didn't do, teased me, called me names…"
"Well that's not right!" Pietro huffed as he pulled away. "I oughta go over there and give them a piece of my mind! We'll both go over there!"
"We will?" Lance looked confused.
"Yes we will!" Pietro grabbed him by the shoulder. "We are gonna go over them and tell those X-Jerks that you and Kitty belong together and if they gotta problem with that well they can go jump in a lake!"
"You will?" Lance looked at him.
"You bet I will, let's go!" Pietro yanked him up.
"I just gotta get my keys…" Lance wobbled.
"Oh no! Not in your condition!" Pietro told him. "Besides, who needs a car anyway! My way is much faster! Hang on!" They zipped out. Just then the others came in. Fred had a couple of ropes and Tabitha carried in a tray with coffee mugs and a pot of coffee.
"Hey where'd they go?" Tabitha looked around.
"I think I can guess," Todd muttered.
A short time later Lance and Pietro found themselves outside the X-Mansion. "Okay, what's the plan?" Lance asked.
"Me?" Pietro looked. "I thought you had one?"
"I don't have one," Lance looked at him. "I thought you had one."
"Oh never mind," Pietro shook his head. "Let's just do what we always do!"
"Just go in there with no clue of what we're gonna do and make a mess of things?" Lance asked.
"You got it!" Pietro nodded. "Let's go!"
Inside the mansion Scott, Rogue, Hank and Xavier were watching television. Just then the alarm went off. "What the…?"Rogue yelped. "You don't think its Magneto do ya?"
"I don't think so," Xavier felt a very familiar rumble that came from outside. A rumble that easily destroyed the outside defenses. "I'm afraid it's someone with a slightly erratic state of mind."
"Oh no," Scott groaned as he looked outside the window. "Guess who?"
"Those guys are like a mutant version of crab grass," Rogue groaned. "Just when you think you're finished with them, they just pop back up again!"
"Hello everybody!" Lance jumped up and down on the front lawn. "Happy New Year! Happy New Year!"
"Wait a minute," Pietro stopped him. "It's not New Year's yet."
"It is in Europe," Lance told him.
"Good enough!" Pietro nodded. He took off. "I'm gonna play in the snow!"
"To all X-Geeks go jump in the lake!" Lance sang out to the tune of Auld Lang Syne. "We won't even mind! We'll all party and have some cake, when we kick you in the behind!"
"Alvers what are you doing?" Scott shouted as he came outside.
Lance looked around. "Singing!" He told him. "What's it look like I'm doing? Doing the mambo? Everybody mambo! Everybody mambo!" He danced around.
"Alvers!" Scott fumed. "You're drunk!"
"Well duh!" Lance looked at him. "It is not my fault. I am completely innofent…innoment…In…I didn't do it!"
"Whee!" Pietro zipped through the snow in twister mode, causing snow to fall all over the place.
"He did it," Lance pointed.
"Lance go away," Scott groaned. "It's not even New Year's and you jerks are already bugging us! Just get out of here and disappear! Just make a hole in the ground and jump in it!"
"Stupid Summers!" Lance huffed. "I'm just having a little fun! That's all! I just wanna entertain you guys! Let me entertain you! Let me make you smile…" He started wobbling around half-strutting outside. He felt rather warm despite the cold temperatures. He pulled off his vest and twirled it around.
"Well here we are," Tabitha drove up. "There's Lance! What the heck is he doing?"
"He's singing and taking off his shirt," Fred told her.
"I can see that!" Tabitha told him. "Oh my…"
"Please tell me he ain't doin' what I think he's doin' is he?" Todd covered his eyes.
"Well there go the pants," Tabitha told him.
"I told you not to tell me!" Todd groaned.
"And if you're real good," Lance sang. "I'll make you feel good! I want your spirits to climb! So let me entertain you and we'll have a real good time yes sir! We'll have a real good time!" Lance finished his striptease with a flourish.
"Not another Brotherhood member pulling the Full Monty on us!" Scott groaned. "Rogue we gotta…Rogue? Will you stop drooling and help me here?"
"In a minute…" Rogue's eyes glazed.
"WHAAHOOOO!" Pietro the human twister came into view. He collided with Lance and sent him sprawling into a tree.
"Ouch!" Todd flinched. "That's gotta hurt!"
"Professor do me a favor will ya?" Scott blanched. "Wipe this night from my memory! Please!"
