Anime Olio - Slayers!
Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers, either…but I STILL own Olio…Oh, and I dun own Fox Kids either…
Author's Notes: Ok…lemme see…ah, yes. Co-author of this here chapter! I'm pretty sure you know her…the fabulous Linnet! Check out her stories…she has tons of good and funny ones! And, by the way…no offense to you at Fox! Well…enjoy! ^^
It was another gorgeous day on the road as the Slayers gang made their way across the wild terrain onto adventure, action, and food (but mostly food.). Lina lead the group in her usual fashion when she's ravenous, followed by the equally famished Gourry and Amelia, while Zelgadiss trailed behind, lost in his thoughts. When suddenly…
"So, Zel-kun, how's the never-ending search for the mostly-unlikely-cure been going?"
Zelgadiss grimaced. "Get the hell away from me."
"But I'm hardly even within touching range!"
"Go away completely."
Xelloss grinned and fell into step beside Zelgadiss, completely oblivious to his threats. In fact, he was kind of looking forward to them. Added bonus would be seeing lil' princess Amelia squirm. He laughed maniacally in his head. He does that a lot, actually.
Lina hollered from waaaaaay up ahead. "HEY! Let's move it, move it, MOVE IT!"
"Yeah, I'm starving!" whined Gourry as he trudged along. Amelia had the same walking trend going on.
"Alright, alright. I'm com-IIACK! Xelloss! Get your darn hands off me!" Right in the middle of trying to pry himself out of Xelloss's monster grip, he gasped. In fact, every gasped and stopped dead at his last statement.
Amelia managed to speak. "M…Mister Zelgadiss? You said "darn," didn't you?"
Zelgadiss was shocked. No way the curse of the English dub could have gotten to him!
Lina was on the verge of laughing and shrieking in terror. "Zel? You…said a mild, dubbed curse. Why?"
"I…I don't know how it happened!"
Gourry blinked. "Dubbed?"
Xelloss let go of Zelgadiss and put a hand to his chin in thought. "My, this is very odd. Try cursing profanely again, Zel-kun."
"I told you to not call me that." Zelgadiss growled. "Okay…Um…Shhhhhhiiiiooot." He blinked. "Shoot?!"
Lina almost broke out laughing. "Shoot? You mean shit, right? You can't say shit? I can! Shit, shit, shoot, shoot…shoot…shoo-ohh…uh, oh."
Amelia looked at Lina. "Is it happening to you, Miss Lina?"
"I think so…Let's try again. SHIIIIIoooooooot…What the heck? HECK?! I'm saying HECK?"
The group hastily began to try to figure all of this out, but then a strange chorus of angelic voices was heard. Great rays of light beam out of nowhere and gave way to a strange figure. It had slicked black hair, glasses, a fox's tail, a stack of scripts in hand, and a book of proper English in the other.
Lina gaped. "What the heck is that?" She growled at the edited profanity.
It opened its mouth to speak. "I am the almighty Fox Kids™ editor for imported television series."
"The what?" they all asked.
"…Aw, heck. Forget all that fancy mumbojumbo. My name's Hank and I do the dubbing for Fox Kids™."
Xelloss cringed. "The ultimate dark lord himself…"
Amelia looked at Xelloss. "I thought L-sama was…"
"Just shut the heck up, Amelia!" Lina growled. "Hey! Fox guy! You're the darn freaking…er…You're the butthole who…oh, for crying out loud!"
Zelgadiss spoke for Lina, "She means to say, you're the person responsible for the strange mild profanities."
"Why, yes I am. That kind of vulgar language is not fit for audiences Y7 and under."
"Y7? Y7?" Lina tilted her head to the side and blinked.
"Young audiences ages seven and older."
"WHO CARES about those people?!"
"Well, actually…"
Lina screamed. "SHUT UP! Just give us back our obscenities!"
"I cannot."
"WHY NOT?!"
"Because then we could not air your show properly on Fox Kids™."
Gourry blinked. "We're a show?" He was quickly silenced by Lina's oncoming fist.
Xelloss stepped up. "We didn't get word of this. Who said you could air this show on your kids' TV station?"
The editor shrugged. "She did." He pointed to the shadowy, menacing figure that is Luna. Lina went blue and fainted.
* * *
Idiots. He came for a bunch of idiots. Oh well. They will soon fight in his tournament. He set a cube down on the rode behind them before the encounter with Mr. Hank(y). They'll come soon enough.
* * *
Gourry took one of Lina's feet, "Uh…bye Mr. Fox Kids ™ dude…bye Mysterious Person Who Made Lina Faint…" and he walked back the way they came, the rest of the party following. Suddenly, a big portal opened up…and, they all stepped through, the portal closing afterward.
"Uh…kinda weird, hm? Come on…let's go get some coffee." Hank said to Luna. And they walked off.
* * *
"They're in now. Soon, the last of the contestants will be joining us," he said to himself, and walked away with a mysterious laugh.
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So? Good, yes? More coming soon…thanks a bunch, Linnet! ^^
